Saturday, December 21, 2019

A Merry Mega Christmas


"So 'Mega Christmas' is actually a thing, huh?"

Xyra nodded at the confused Sumireko. "Yeah. A lot of Olympia's businesses push it as the ultimate version of Christmas. It gets a lot of backlash for being super commercialized, even more than regular Christmas since it's purely a company-invented holiday. Like Black Friday. But kids think it's cool and a lot of corporations will frame their charity donations and toy drives as being part of it, so it sticks around."

Sumireko shook her head with a small smile. "Heh... Olympia feels like a slice of the future sometimes."

"...So, here we are, huh? Another year over, another fleet of enemies defeated... off to prepare for next year's adventures. It's different this time, though."

Sumireko and Xyra turned at the voice, seeing Dolby approaching the group and looking wistful. Sumi waved at her friend. "Different? What's different about it now, Dolby?"

"There's less than two weeks left in 2019. That means there's less than two weeks left of the decade. The New Tens, Sumi... it's ending. A whole decade of stuff happening, including the entirety of the Kobbers' history so far. The 2010s will become part of history forever... and one day, I'm gonna reminisce about it." Dolby looked around the mall with a vaguely sad smile. "I'm a nostalgia elemental... but this is the first time I've ever actually been around for the turn of the decade. It's a little scary."

"Don't be afraid!" Xyra put a reassuring hand on Dolby's shoulder. "I don't remember my life before I became Xyra. Seanet had nothing to tell me about it... but it's okay. I've got you guys now. And so this is basically MY first new decade, too. We'll face it together, alright?"

"..."

Dolby smiled at the reassuring face of her friend and nodded. "Right. Let's head into 2020 with our heads high."

"Yeah! And look out for new adventures!" Sumireko cheered, pumping a fist.

"As energetic as ever." Dolby laughed a bit as Sumi hopped around eagerly, ready to continue their last-minute Christmas shopping. The three of them walked on together, deeper into the mall. They were the only members of Nerd Club here today. Tokiko and Rachel had both long finished their shopping. Tokiko's dislike of large crowds and Rachel's careful planning of the holidays meant both had taken care of business weeks ago, but Xyra and Sumireko were rather more flakey and had to get a few more things before they were finished buying gifts. As for Dolby, she'd finished her shopping, but her love of the mall kept her coming back anyway.

A disturbance in the middle of the mall caught their attention, especially when they spotted a certain bartender they knew very well. Jill Stingray, clad in a red-and-green elf costume, stood next to the big comfy chair of a rather unconventional-looking Mall Santa, a redhead that the nerds didn't recognize.

Dolby blinked. "...Jill? Is that YOU?"

"Oh my god, what are you wearing." Xyra covered her mouth to suppress a giggle.

Tuesday, December 17, 2019

Chatzy Madness Volume 354: Borf Forfles

Jumpropeman: "Everyone talking about “baby Yoda” is jarring for me because I loved Yoda so much as a child my mom lied to me that the movie “Mac and me” was about “baby Yoda” and I was so fucking stupid I believed her even all the way through watching it."

---

iKomodo: First leaks of Pokémon Gun looking great
Draco: XD

---

Draco: The next Brinegirl.
Jumpropeman: seems perfectly accurate

---

(Immediately after a discussion about classic RP villain The Lord)

Muddled Sheep: link
Jumpropeman: not now noonsa
Gooper Blooper: sheeplot 2020 is just "Here's More Joke Enemies From Slayers"
Muddled Sheep: Noonsa is always relevant :I
Jumpropeman: Noonsa is hopefully not relevant to very recent chat
Muddled Sheep: ALWAYS relevant
Jumpropeman: o.o
Jumpropeman: meanwhile im over here trying to convince myself not to eat a pizza for some reason
Muddled Sheep: Would you eat in a house?
Muddled Sheep: Would you eat it with a mouse?
Jumpropeman: don't get me thinking about green eggs and ham again
Gooper Blooper: you'll make him cry!
Draco: Let's try hash browns and bacon instead.
Jumpropeman: I was dangerously close to making two characters from it RP characters. DANGEROUSLY.
Muddled Sheep: Dangerously cheesy?!
Jumpropeman: ONE OF THEM WOULD HAVE BEEN
Draco: Which two characters?
Muddled Sheep: Was it the French mouse :I
Gooper Blooper: one of them is, of course
Gooper Blooper: Joey
Muddled Sheep sounds of pottery toppling off the back of a donkey cart
Jumpropeman: https://youtube.com/watch?v=VurfnihEVl0
Jumpropeman: my favorite part of this scene: "He's a liar!" "If the man were a liar, his pants would be on fire. Those are clearly just scaredy pants."
Gooper Blooper: #TooLateForCurse
Jumpropeman: McWinkle is something interesting, in that he's a gruff, tough guy who does not get fed up with his bumbling sidekick's shenanigans
Jumpropeman: he's a very understanding bad guy
Muddled Sheep: He seemed a little fed up at the end of that scene
Jumpropeman: on some levels yeah
Jumpropeman: like, he's not completely permissive
Muddled Sheep: I see
Draco: How does Green Eggs and Ham have BAD GUYS?
Jumpropeman: I will not go further into a potential character analysis, I recognize this trap
Muddled Sheep: Trap???
Cornwind Evil: "Realizing they will not be able to raise enough money by legitimate means, Debbie convinces the other girls to engage in sexual activities for more money. They agree, but only if it is on their terms. From this point onward, the film abandons the central plot (leaving it unresolved whether Debbie ever makes it to Dallas)."
Cornwind Evil: Because, of course, this is vitally important.
Muddled Sheep: CW
Muddled Sheep: why
Jumpropeman: he fell for my trap!
Gooper Blooper: well, I mean, it's in the title!
Gooper Blooper: How can Debbie do Dallas if she's not in Dallas?!?!
Jumpropeman: there isn't even a character named Dallas
Jumpropeman: which feels like a missed opportunity
Draco: Deb made it to Dallas at least.
Muddled Sheep retreats back to the entirely different hell of post making
Jumpropeman: "Graham Silcock as “The other boy in the shower”"
Jumpropeman: holy
Jumpropeman: there are a lot of remakes, sequels, and spinoffs to Debbie Does Dallas
Jumpropeman: Debbie Does Dallas: The Revenge (2003)
Jumpropeman: "In 2001, Debbie Does Dallas: The Musical was created by Susan L. Schwartz for the New York International Fringe Festival.[16] In 2002 it was made into an Off-Broadway musical comedy of the same name.[17] Unlike the original movie, the musical did not contain any actual sex or nudity,[17] which caused some disappointment among people"
Jumpropeman: I am
Jumpropeman: not going down this particular rabbit hole
Jumpropeman: I'm going for that pizza
Cornwind Evil: I will, JRM
Cornwind Evil: Or rather I did
Cornwind Evil: And it is never confirmed if she ever made it to Dallas
Cornwind Evil: Who would have thought a pornographic film would care so little about its story premise.
Draco: Shocker, I agree.

Saturday, November 30, 2019

Chatzy Madness Volume 353: The Big Fat Flumpus! I'll Put Salt On His Grapefruit.

Jumpropeman: people make fun of Pokemon characters for saying "An egg appeared! We don't know how it happened!" but they're probably just avoiding telling these child protagonists the pokemon are boning
Draco: Most likely, yes.
harpydoodle: "let me tell you about the pidgeys and the beedrills..."
Jumpropeman: they need to add a stork pokemon
Jumpropeman: so they can be how babies are mad
ivel: >mad
ivel: babies are fed up with storks carrying them around
Jumpropeman: i mean
Jumpropeman: babies seem pretty pissed after they're born
Draco: DeMonde just tells Shimmer that babies are made by moms in a hot forge for nine months after the dad provides them with raw materials.
harpydoodle: there's so much i can say on that
harpydoodle: but i won't
Jumpropeman: "Ewww, I thought they just had sex!"
Jumpropeman: even if Shimmer didn't know how babies were made before, she became pretty good friends with Meiling soooo...
harpydoodle: welp
harpydoodle: fair
Draco: "Nope. Forges. Parents only have sex when they want to annoy the neighbors. At least, that's what my neighbors apparently do."

---

Jumpropeman: "a Chef’s hat traditionally has 100 folds. This is said to represent the number of different ways a chef knows how to cook eggs"
Jumpropeman: "Hushed silence as a mysterious chef steps into the kitchen with 101 folds.
Tears begin to stream down the faces of the cookstaff, seemingly unable or unwilling to move or speak.
Tears stream from the new chef’s eyes as they open their mouth, but what comes forth is only a high-pitched buzzing, louder and louder.
Every egg for a hundred and one miles begins to shudder and crack of its own volition"

Galar Blooper: final boss 2020
RubyChao: gordon ramsay returns
Draco: He was THE KING IN YELLOW all along!

---

harpydoodle: >watching a video with ivel about google feud where the prompt was "what body parts can you ____"
harpydoodle: >one answer is "fill with bees"
ivel: another is "use in soccer"
ivel: which I understand what it means
ivel: but
ivel: it sounds much different
RubyChao: *Dr. Bees vibrates intensely*
harpydoodle: "there's a surprising lack of BEES in here-"
RubyChao: wait
RubyChao: you know what i realized?
ivel: there's a lack of BEES?
RubyChao: Queen Sectonia
RubyChao: is a bee
ivel: oh
harpydoodle: dr. bees betrayal incoming
RubyChao: who's ready for Dr. Bees to be my main character for Goopplot
harpydoodle: I'M SCARED
Galar Blooper: but what if Dr. Bees saves us all instead
harpydoodle: bee jesus...

Tuesday, November 19, 2019

The Curse Retrospective, Part 3: What Got Cut


Here it is, the third and final installment in my Curse blogposts - the one that goes over the cutting room floor to bring you all the Curse members and event ideas that didn't make it to the forum.

We start with Watson up there, who was my "faceclaim" for Evolution, the evil supercomputer that got merged with Masher in an earlier draft of the plot. That story was already recounted in Masher's entry in the previous installment of this series, so let's move on.

Saturday, November 16, 2019

Chatzy Madness Volume 352: Moida Da Bum

Draco: Time to start writing a huge boss fight post to rival King Dice finale.
RubyChao: wow draco
RubyChao: that's a really early start on the Deb boss fight
RubyChao: good enthusiasm!
Draco: There's a lot of her to kill. Gotta get started early.
Jumpropeman: I'm not saying it's equal in importance or impressiveness to the finale of Curse plot, but I DID just beat Santa Clause 3: Escape Clause for GBA so...
Draco: :D
Draco: I can't wait to read the review.
Jumpropeman: you will actually have to wait
Jumpropeman: and don't worry, I already played Pilotwings
Draco: If I have to wait, then I'm rioting and demanding you give Limbo of the Lost a better rating.
Jumpropeman: *makes a new lowest rating and gives that to Limbo of the Lost*
Draco: (; yes

---

Jumpropeman: holy
Jumpropeman: crap
Jumpropeman: we live on a planet where this happened
Jumpropeman: a wrestling event featured actual undertale content
Multi Sheep: I'm actually speechless
Draco: Best timeline.

---

Jumpscareman: another dunkey vid has helped me discover the worst merch store on the planet: The one for Kanye West's new Jesus is King album
Jumpscareman: for 240 DOLLARS, you can wear this disaster
Jumpscareman: or maybe you'd rather wear this 20 dollar sock
Phreak: What a disaster
Phreak: ...but why
Jumpscareman: maybe shorts with an extremely stretched Jesus face instead for 100 bucks?
Phreak: Do i want jesus on my leg?
Phreak: no
Jumpscareman: or 60 for TWO ORBS
Jumpscareman: on purple!
Phreak: Wow.
Phreak: who would even wear that
Jumpscareman: people blinded by the cult of personality
Phreak: So Prawn
Phreak: or ivan
Phreak: ...tsurubami to troll
Jumpscareman: the Curse uniform people refused to wear actually had a stretched out lobster image on it and the words PRAWN IS KING
Phreak: disaster
Jumpscareman: The Curse just thought Plague got a crosspromotion deal with Red lobster when he showed it to em
Phreak: blurg
Phreak: disgusting
Jumpscareman: *checks*
Jumpscareman: okay, the Curse Membership Kit did NOT include any expert level foreshadowing
Phreak: Lel
Jumpscareman: goop coulda totally put in a ten dollar red lobster gift card or something
MobileSpooko: wao
Jumpscareman: but nope
Jumpscareman: instead it had 3D glasses as its weird inclusion
Jumpscareman: "-The current issue of The Curse's newsletter (you'll get a new issue every month!)"
Jumpscareman: the October issue must have been depressing
Jumpscareman: or conversely
Jumpscareman: uplifting to motivate people for the big push
Phreak: Highlight that dinosaur collection
MobileSpooko: Chompette's handlers wrote the newsletter.

Wednesday, November 13, 2019

The Curse Retrospective, Part 2: About The Cast


With the biggest plot of all time came the biggest cast of all time. There are far, far too many Curse members for me to give my thoughts on them all, but I will at least offer a bit of commentary on each of my own additions, plus a few honorable mentions for some of my favorite guest Curse.

Sunday, November 10, 2019

The Curse Retrospective, Part 1: How The Curse Came To Be


The Curse. The biggest ZFRP plot of all time, and certainly not a record I'm willing to ever try to beat! Depending on how you count it, as many as sixty - or more - events in Season 9 had to do with The Curse. But how did it all start?

I haven't made it a secret that the name of The Curse, as well as eight of its' members - Plague, Shrapnel, Reaper, Impact, Titan, Puma, Ogre, and Troll - and several of the machines/vehicles that appeared, like Ogre and Troll's mech suits and the Badass Plague Tank - came from a real toyline. But the true origins of The Curse go back further than that. The Curse's origins are a tale of a little British toy company that could, their habit of reusing any molds they can to cut costs, and the world of 3.75-inch action figures.

Saturday, November 2, 2019

Chatzy Madness Volume 351: The Curse Finale Edition

Jumpropeman: you know
Jumpropeman: Permakill would be a good name for a Kobber villain...
Jumpropeman: *rewrites my 2020 plot*
Gooper Blooper: any character he successfully damages is permakilled
Gooper Blooper: this can't possibly go wrong
Jumpropeman: so he's just Gregg
Gooper Blooper: I thought Gregg only normal killed
Jumpropeman: true, true
Jumpropeman: BUT
Jumpropeman: "In Conker's Bad Fur Day, Gregg has green shoes. However, In L&R, his shoes were changed to purple, along with his robe having a slight dark blue tint."
Jumpropeman: CLEARLY
Jumpropeman: Green Shoes Gregg permakills
Jumpropeman: and we only met Purple Shoes, Slight Dark Blue Tint Gregg
Gooper Blooper: I hope that wiki tells us about Gregg's personality
Ripple: I died to gregg?!?
Jumpropeman: the conker wiki does not appear to indulge in personality lists
Jumpropeman: "Gregg is very short (which Conker points out in the game when he dies for the first time) and speaks with an English accent. He despises cats (which have nine lives) and the Undead alike. Despite being the (or perhaps "a"?) Grim Reaper, Gregg is less than frightful."
Jumpropeman: however it is a fan of parenthetical statements

---

Jumpropeman: why is doremy your least favorite hu goops
Modded Sheep: She knows what she did!
Jumpropeman: her last name is sweet
Jumpropeman: how can anyone hate her!
Gooper Blooper: Doremy is my least favorite hu because I regularly see her in a Yukari-esque holier-than-thou trolling role, AND the majority of that time she is focused specifically on going after Sumireko because of the whole "Sumi dreams to visit Gensokyo" thing and Doremy is all about that kind of stuff
Gooper Blooper: Now, those two things alone would be a rough tie with Yukari, but
Gooper Blooper: Yukari is cuter
Jumpropeman: but Doremy is covered in balls!
Modded Sheep: That IS true...
Modded Sheep: She IS covered in balls, Goops...
Modded Sheep: You CAN'T deny that she's covered in balls...
Modded Sheep has no idea who Doremy is

---

RubyChao: you want me to edit my post to take out my stuff for your team, draco?
RubyChao: cause i'm cool with that
Gooper Blooper: As long as Yohane's attack is still "hacking" because I've already written that part
Jumpropeman: it's not just hacking
Jumpropeman: it's wheezing too!
RubyChao: i mean
RubyChao: yohane's attack options are basically
RubyChao: -Hacking
RubyChao: -Flopping
RubyChao: -Throwing Her Hair Meatball Somehow
RubyChao: so i think you're good

Thursday, October 24, 2019

Chatzy Madness Volume 350: Your Cat Is Lame And So Is Your Hair

Draco: Is it too late to add Gyaos to the Curse?
RubyChao: draco you fool
RubyChao: you can't just enter gyaos like that!
RubyChao: enter his good twin Soayg
Draco: His brother, SPACE Gyaos?
RubyChao: is it actually just Space Gyaos
Draco: Yes. Harpy would vouch for Space Gyaos being a real thing.

---

RubyChao: so when we go back in time for season 11
RubyChao: is that when i introduce the Retro Curse
Draco: Yes.
Draco: It's Dolby leading an army of hipsters with laser guns.

---

RubyChao: who wants
RubyChao: a fun fact
Jumpropeman: i do if its redeemable for fun bux
RubyChao: it is!
Jumpropeman: !!!

---

Mulberry Sheep: Rv and L
Mulberry Sheep: Hunting Method: Bad
Gooper Blooper: and then for curse finale
Gooper Blooper: V and _
Mulberry Sheep: Just you wait!
Mulberry Sheep: They'll become RP Ending Godbosses someday!

---

Cornwind Evil: When Jeanne gets an icon, Goops has gone too far
Jumpropeman: we're safe since she and Chompette's handlers have no images
MobileDraco: Goops, draw Jeanne and Chompette's groupies.
Gooper Blooper: I did consider drawing Slade for Brine when she was described in plainclothes earlier but if I draw her and he kills her off I'd be sad
Gooper Blooper: so if she survives the season maybe I'll do just that
Waluigi laughs nervously, sweats
Gooper Blooper: SEE
Jumpropeman: what's gonna happen
Jumpropeman: they'll remove their hats
Jumpropeman: revealing they too are wearing super crowns
Jumpropeman: they were Chomps as well the whole time
Gooper Blooper: The whole "handful of shrapnel left" thing was admittedly partly to try and ward off a post-Reaper srspost from Brine of Chompette crying because her friends are all dead
Waluigi gallons of sweat
Gooper Blooper: oh nooooooooooo
RubyChao: don't worry, goops
RubyChao: i will take on the sin for you
RubyChao has Colonel Bogey kill them in golf

Friday, October 11, 2019

Chatzy Madness Volume 349: Miror Blart

Murdered Sheep: The only thing you need to know about Sinduramon: "I'm glad the first thing EVERYONE mentioned is the fire and brimstone Southern preacher voice they gave the possessed owl in the English dub, which manages to be both hilarious and a little unnerving at the same time."
Murdered Sheep: Oh man
Murdered Sheep: OH MAN
Murdered Sheep: I HAVE A FOUND A CLIP OF THE OWL IN THE DUB
Murdered Sheep: YOU ARE NOT READY
Jumpropeman: oh... oh myyyyy
Jumpropeman: that owl is amazing
Batman Is Soaking Wet: THE DEEEVVUH
Murdered Sheep: THE DAEEEEEVA

---

Jumpropeman: Rocko's Modern Life Wiki is not called Rocko's Modern Wiki
Jumpropeman: I AM APPALLED

---

umpropeman: missed opportunity: have Fat Cat from Rescue Rangers be Don Genie's pet
RubyChao: damn
RubyChao: that is a missed opportunity
RubyChao: guess i'll have to put him at the waterworks
MobileDraco: BRB making Fat Cat canon
YerDoinOkHarps: Plz
Jumpropeman: Fat Cat joins rp... AS YOHANE'S PET
MobileDraco: 😲
MobileDraco: Dan was Fat Cat all along!
Gooper Blooper joined the chat
Murky Sheep entered for the first time

RubyChao: hello gooper and sheep
RubyChao: the same person
Murky Sheep: I mean
Murky Sheep: Have we ever been in the same room at the same time?
Murky Sheep: Sidenote: Writing is hard :I
Gooper Blooper: Plague almost had a pet!
Murky Sheep: Was it
Murky Sheep: a scorpion?
Gooper Blooper: No, it was Rollergator
Murky Sheep lies down
Gooper Blooper: I thought maybe you'd want to use Rollergator as garbage curse, so I refrained from using him as garbage curse myself
Murky Sheep soul departs from body
Murky Sheep: I
Murky Sheep: I see a bright light...
Gooper Blooper: That bright light is the spotlight shining upon InGen's newest creation, sheep
Gooper Blooper: Bubsygator
Murky Sheep: oh
Murky Sheep: oh no
Gooper Blooper: the kids'll love him
Murky Sheep: dear god
Murky Sheep: there's a
Murky Sheep: javelina
Gooper Blooper: that's his sidekick
Murky Sheep: THERE'S A JAVELINA BEHIND THE LIGHT!
Gooper Blooper: they go on totally radical adventures together
Murky Sheep wakes up in a cold sweat
Murky Sheep: Well,
Murky Sheep: The Curse was a neat experiment, but I think it's time to burn it all down
Gooper Blooper: we're working on it
Murky Sheep considers replacing Avak event with a Rollergator event
Murky Sheep: Alas, I don't I could ever do Rollergator true justice

Monday, September 30, 2019

Chatzy Madness Volume 348: Instead Of Answering That Question, Here Is A Picture Of General Oda

Jumpropeman: the reason I RPed Phantomon in the first place was in anticipation of him digivolving to Piedmon
Jumpropeman: I now like Phantomon a lot more than I used to :V

---

Jumpropeman: Shimmer will never trust a centipede again
Draco: What about a worm?
Jumpropeman: depends on how cute the worm is
Gooper Blooper: I thought Gujarek had a cute design
Gooper Blooper: then it turned out he was a huge asshole
Draco: Is this cute enough
RubyChao: needs more blush and sparkles
Draco: Is this cute enough
RubyChao: yes.
Gooper Blooper: simply darling
Jumpropeman: now that's a worm I'd like to meet!

---

Jumpropeman: solution to the Gyronna problem: She says OOGA BOOGA BOOGA and turns out to be evil so we don't have to save her!
Gooper Blooper: XD

---

Jumpropeman: "Kisha finally pipes up before just leaning against a wall like she's some sorta cool cat or some shit"
Jumpropeman: like some sort of
Jumpropeman: Cool Cat Saves the Kids?
HarpFairy: :V
Gooper Blooper: I'd watch Kisha Saves The Kids
HarpFairy: i don't know anything so as per usual
HarpFairy: i'm pretending i know
Jumpropeman: with Juan as Daddy Derek
HarpFairy: the Battlebots Bad Boy?
HarpFairy: "assuming Complete Control!" "WRONG DEREK"

---

Mice Sheep: "Shimmer says, remembering her armor this time"
Mice Sheep: Shimmer Armor Watch; the great RP past time
Mice Sheep: Will she take it this time?
Mice Sheep: Will she not?!
Mice Sheep: Thrilling

Tuesday, September 17, 2019

Chatzy Madness Volume 347: Old Dog Eating ASMR

N Goat: Tonight on Black Clover: "Some stuff sure did happen."

---

Cornwind Evil: What's Pitohui's real name again
Jumpropeman: elsa kanzaki
ivel: Pit O Hui
Moonlit Sheep: excuse you
Moonlit Sheep: it's Pit O'Hui
Moonlit Sheep: respect her heritage!

---

Moonlit Sheep: Yanno
Moonlit Sheep: When I see a box of DVDs sold for almost 400 bucks
Moonlit Sheep: and then there's a charge of 4 more dollars for shipping
Moonlit Sheep: I feel like I'm being laughed at
Draco: You are.

---

Cornwind Evil: "Lifetime isn’t wasting a single second in its effort to release a movie about the college admissions scandal as quickly as possible—in fact, rather than spend a moment thinking up a more creative title, they’re just calling it The College Admissions Scandal."
Harpy: uh
Harpy: ?!?!?
Cornwind Evil: What are you ?!?!? about Harps?
Harpy: that whole sentence
Harpy: why is lifetime putting this up
Harpy: why aren't they being creative about it
Harpy: there's a scandal about college admissions?
Jumpropeman: the college admissions scandal was a bunch of rich people paying their children's way into college
Cornwind Evil: 1) It's Lifetime
Cornwind Evil: 2) It's Lifetime
Cornwind Evil: 3) Yes
Cornwind Evil: 3.5) It's better than "Mother, Can I Sleep With Danger?"
Harpy: mother can i sleep with a raptor?
Cornwind Evil: Ask Chuck Tingle
Harpy: can i ride a lil tykes raptor-mobile?
Harpy: (i saw one of those in walmart today and i had to stop myself from imagining Dashra proving why she needs a driver's license with it)

Sunday, September 8, 2019

Chatzy Madness Volume 346: Category: Meanies

Gooper Blooper: Dr. Amigo does prostate exams and he's got a hot deal going
Jumpropeman: you weren't lacking for fake dr marios if you needed them

---

Jumpropeman: im trying to post
Jumpropeman: brownie is trying to stop me
Jumpropeman: Brownie
Rank: Post Saboteur
Codename: BROWN DOG

Gooper Blooper: there are just
Gooper Blooper: so many curse members
Meringue Sheep: Even these words are Curse members!
RubyChao: so manyyyy
Jumpropeman: I'm gonna miss the Curse
RubyChao: Steve Buscemi
Rank: Javalina Farmer
Codename: COMEDY


---

Jumpropeman: somebody thought this video was worth making
Gooper Blooper: HELP ME INTERNET
Jumpropeman: more importantly
Jumpropeman: they thought it was worth making
Jumpropeman: in 2017
Gooper Blooper: Look, somewhere out there is someone who bought FireRed in 2004 and has been waiting 13 years for someone to tell them how to cut trees
Gooper Blooper: Also out there: someone who watches the video and sobs desperately because they have LeafGreen instead and there's no video for that version
Jumpropeman: even more important
Jumpropeman: this is the only pokemon thing on their channel
Gooper Blooper: oh god, that's the best one
Gooper Blooper: I was expecting you to have found some stupid channel with a million pointless Pokemon FAQ videos
Jumpropeman: they do have a lot of important subjects though
Jumpropeman: like this
Gooper Blooper: I've always wanted to wash my hair with eggs
Jumpropeman: spoilers, the video says how long a peacock is, not how tall
Jumpropeman: although the description concerns me
Jumpropeman: 28 FOOT TALL PEACOCK
Jumpropeman: "They retail in stores for up to but you can make them just a peacocks."
Jumpropeman: Some algorithm is definitely making these

---

Jumpropeman: link
Gooper Blooper: well
Gooper Blooper: you gotta play that
Meringue Sheep: Now that's some sort of art
Jumpropeman: humpty dumpty and a bat had a son
Jumpropeman: "Did you ever get punched by a banana? Tussle with a mushroom? Tumble into a black hole? You will now! ZOOM into space and race around the play grids, out-running the funny critters who pop up in the strangest places!"
Jumpropeman: that guy's name
Jumpropeman: is Mr. Smart
Meringue Sheep: Is it now?

Wednesday, August 28, 2019

Chatzy Madness Volume 345: Pong FAQ

N Goat: I HAVE FOUND A NEW CHARACTER
Jumpropeman: Prism's uncle
MobileDraco: Regice?

---

Del Is You: Okay so
Del Is You: I am very, very, very happy that knuckles has got zero votes
Del Is You: Not even sarcastic
Del Is You: He's gonna die hilariously and I can't wait :U
Gooper Blooper: "oh no"
RubyChao: oh no
Del Is You: oh no

---

Bree: a ZFPD interrogation
Gooper Blooper: seems accurate

---

ivel: "Commander_Cookiepuss: Noseless horror on noseless horror violence"
ivel: out of context quote for Goops ;P
Gooper Blooper: more like NOSED HORRORS

---

Bree: excellent line from this WoW quest
Bree: "[...] he wrote me saying he's out of ammunition. I sent him down there with enough ammo to shoot the planet in half, but flint goes through ammunition like you or I go through... air. so, I need you to bring him some more, will ya?"
Gooper Blooper: So a ZFPD quest where we bring Blasto ammo, got it
Bree: it makes slightly more sense when it's blasto. he's got like twelve limbs and three times as many guns
Bree: this dude I'm bringing ammo to is a friggin dwarf, he's got two dang arms and can hold one (1) gun
Bree: (there are no handguns in WoW, all firearms require two hands to use)
Bree: then again maybe this dwarf has really terrible aim. this is an engineering quest and last time I checked in with flint the dwarf, the questgiver remarked that they try to keep him from inventing/building things because he ruins everything
Bree: there's, like, a pretty compelling reason why this guy isn't in the engineering shop in dalaran, I'm guessing
Bree: (the ones sending me to him are at the engineering shop in dalaran - this dude seems to be, like, "that one underling that gets the less important, far-away jobs so they can safely fuck up where it won't affect anybody else")

---

Dreadball Del: https://over-ti.me/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/da-don.jpg
Jumpropeman: vince should have used that in the brawl
SteelKomodo: kek
Draco: Vince is ready for Race Yer Mates.

Friday, August 9, 2019

Chatzy Madness Volume 344: I'll Send One Of The Boys Over

Del in Tent: Jinteki are anti-thicc
Del in Tent: Confirmed
Draco: Good to know.

---

Jumpropeman: THE MOST IMPORTANT CHANGE FROM THE RECENT UPDATE EMAIL
N Goat: whaaaat
Jumpropeman: PAY FOR PARTY HATS
Jumpropeman: USE REAL MONEY FOR TEMPORARY MEANINGLESS FLUFF
RubyChao: aaaaahahahahahaha
RubyChao: beautiful
Jumpropeman: I bet that's what caused the gold glitch
Jumpropeman: implementing this VITAL, more important than borders, feature
Gooper Blooper: who needs borders when you have hats
RubyChao: time to use hats to indicate where borders used to be
Jumpropeman: I like that their example post of a post with a hat is Tapatalk explaining how to disable a feature
RubyChao: i have slain festive hats
RubyChao: i apologize
Jumpropeman: NOOOOOOOOOOOO
RubyChao: but we are not yet good enough as a community to deserve hats
RubyChao: we must defer hats
RubyChao: to when we have EARNED it
Jumpropeman: I considered not telling anyone they existed
Jumpropeman: and just thrusting one on someone one day
Jumpropeman: when tapatalk adds Unusual Hats
Jumpropeman: then we'll be in business

---

Jumpropeman: "Classic Game Consoles Mini Retro Game Consoles Built-in 620 Games Video Games Handheld Game Player AV Output 8-Bit Bring you happy childhood memories" What a name!
Jumpropeman: and of course its packaging just looks like a crappy NES classic
donk: Oops
Gooper Blooper: 620 games! What value!
Jumpropeman: reminds me of the Pro 200 handheld I had
Jumpropeman: that was like, 100 variations of tetris and 30 variations of some racing game

---

N Goat rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 17
N Goat: :I
N Goat: Avak, please
N Goat rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 18
N Goat: AVAAAAAK
N Goat: YOU'RE THE PIRAKA THAT'S BAD AT FIGHTIIIIING
N Goat rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 18
N Goat: Oh my STARS, AVAK

Friday, July 26, 2019

Chatzy Madness Volume 343: The Bastard Irish Ghoul's Recipe Finally Revealed

Gooper Blooper: Canon: Sedusa's never eaten at Chili's
Jumpropeman: HOW DARE
Attempting to be a Dad: :o
Attempting to be a Dad: i had chilis for the first time the other day!
Gooper Blooper: Cordie has though, that's how you know she's face-turning

---

Draco: "Sadly, Joy did not YEEEEE-HAWWWWWW as she rode Fully-Spider Cordie" <- I'm making this the ticker and nobody except everybody can stop me.

---

N Goat looks at art of Futo
N Goat: I'm sure I just don't have the context for it, but I'm still unsure as to what the uniting theme of Futo is between plates, the boat, and GASOLINE.
N Goat: I thought her carrying the gas and matches was just something you added, Chao!
MobileDraco: Uh...powerboating at dinner, duh.
RubyChao: nah, she has some canon spellcards that involve fire
RubyChao: and fanon made her a full on pyromaniac
RubyChao: so i ran with it
Attempting to be a Dad: feng shui
Attempting to be a Dad: just set your house on fire for good luck
N Goat: Oh right, and the feng shui stuff too!
N Goat picks up Futo and shakes her
N Goat: WHAT ARE YOUUUU

---

Jumpropeman: check out this actual animation company's website
Jumpropeman: check out some of their work
Bree: thanks, I hate it
Jumpropeman: they helped make a Dr. Rabbit cartoon
Gooper Blooper: I see Toonmakers worked on Stan Lee Presents The Condor
N Goat: I found my danmaku girl: http://www.toonmakers.com/images/Mystics/SG02-wRod.jpg
Gooper Blooper: funny how things overlap sometimes
Jumpropeman: they also made something simply called
Jumpropeman: Tigger
RubyChao: >they did that
RubyChao: ahahahahaaaaaaa
RubyChao: (for those who do not know the context, i did some digging recently and i have a toonami broadcast from 2007 recorded on vhs)
N Goat: Oh!
RubyChao: (stan lee presents the condor was a tv movie that's on said tape)
Jumpropeman: I was wondering if there was some curse member or something from it
RubyChao: not yet!!
N Goat: Was The Condor on Toonami?!
RubyChao: it was
RubyChao: i know the vhs also has one piece, naruto, bobobo, prince of tennis, and something else i forgot
RubyChao: and i know
RubyChao: it's 4kids one piece.
RubyChao: so you guys know i GOTTA get around to watching the rest
N Goat: Don't give it up
N Goat: give it up

Wednesday, July 17, 2019

Chatzy Madness Volume 342: Big Bar Brawl 9 Edition

Jumpropeman: we have confirmation there will be a Dr. Waluigi in Dr. Mario World
Jumpropeman: and a Dr. Diddy Kong
Jumpropeman: really anyone can get a medical degree in the mushroom kingdom it seems

---

Jumpropeman: "kicking up a cloud of varmints" sounds like an old-timey phrase
Gooper Blooper: Because of the word "varmints" of course
Gooper Blooper: you never hear that word outside of, like, old rednecks with shotguns or old-timey prospectors
RubyChao: time to introduce Old-Timey Prospector into the curse

---

RubyChao: in canon, for the first two seasons, due to plot reasons hibiki has a berserk state - symphogear can malfunction and send hibiki into a super-strong regenerating state who fights like a beast and has no concept of friend or foe. in earlier plot drafts, this was actually considered as a plot thread for zfrp hibiki! it wouldn't have happened except under extreme circumstances but it would have happened. ultimately though the plans it was relevant to changed so i scrapped that and symphogear cannot fuck up in that way
RubyChao: sorry jrm, i know it'd make the perfect Good Guy Killer next brawl
Jumpropeman: I'll find a way

---

N Goat: "Gonna have a real Meat Lover’s alliance over here!”
N Goat: What can I even add to this?
Draco: Extra Cheese
N Goat: Well done.
N Goat: "Of course I will support you, and your meaty friends too"
N Goat: AND YOUR MEATY FRIENDS TOO!
N Goat: Good job finding a different image for Kawanzabot each post, JRM!
Jumpropeman: just barely got enough Kwanzaabots!
N Goat: “Where have all the cute boys gone!”
N Goat: Day of keeping the cute boy faith?
N Goat: “Can I call you Little Teapot? Because you’re short, stout, and I want to hear you shout~”
N Goat: BEGONE!

Wednesday, July 10, 2019

Chatzy Madness Volume 341: Chompette, I Choose You!

Cornwind Evil: Dawn's kicks got smashed in the Brawl
Cornwind Evil: Her kids, rather
moth: her shoes...
moth: biggest loss in the brawl..

---

Jumpropeman: you can tell by the way he walks he's a goopy man, no time for bloops

---

Jumpropeman: thanks for the Cirno vote Brine <3
Draco: If Cirno gets exactly nine votes, does she automatically win?
Jumpropeman: yes, so you better give her lots of votes to prevent this
Draco: Can I give her anti-votes? I want to vote for Yotam instead.
Jumpropeman: the only antivote allowed is calling someone rainbow TRASH
Draco: RUDE. Rainbow Dash is going to WIN IT.
Waluigi: I would have given her my Sponsorship vote too if I could've :V
Jumpropeman: she's not your character... yet

---

Bree: komachi: *sleeping in a pile of votes*
jinx: *scratching names into the sides of bullets to dedicate one shot to each voter!*
ren: *sulking in the corner*

---

The Quest To Not Be Exploded: Someone list all the Curse members in the Brawl for me
Gooper Blooper: The six characters I drew in the first post after JRM opened voting
RubyChao: and Kaede
Gooper Blooper: rank: Kobber Historian
Gooper Blooper: Codename: PEACHPUFF
Jumpropeman: King Biruritchi, Chompette, Robbie Rotten, Futo, Jinx, Plague
Jumpropeman: 3 girls, 3 guys
Jumpropeman: makes the epilogue weddings easy to write when Plague wins
Gooper Blooper: The Curse is an equal-opportunity employer
Gooper Blooper: Plague calls dibs on Chompette
Bree: biruritchi is a real king though
Bree: very eligible bachelor
Jumpropeman: *Sonia fans herself*
Gooper Blooper: I'm imagining The Curse's epilogue just being something stupidly wholesome and happy despite their villain status
moth: bold of you to assume anyone is worthy of anyone else
Jumpropeman: Curse epilogue: They take over olympia

Wednesday, June 26, 2019

Chatzy Madness Volume 340: The Big Boob Brawl

Jumpropeman: that's a quality xyra picture
Gooper Blooper: I got a folder fulla them
Gooper Blooper: a xyra for every situation
Gooper Blooper: Stay tuned for Xyraplot when Project Scarlett shows up to kill and replace her
IDelneth Delkin: I cant believe the next Xbox is gonna be in zfrp
Bree: meiling's wife is gonna kill xyra and wear her skin?

---

Bree: "Black Clover - An exotic imports shop selling various knickknacks from far-flung countries, mostly Asian and African. Always smells like incense. Try the magic stones, which they like to call "Magic Stones", for a good luck charm!"
Bree: I hope you portray this store as being as hackneyed as the anime of the same name
Bree: because hina's shop does sell incense and "magic stones" also
Gooper Blooper: in that case it will be such a bad store you have no idea
Bree: yay! XD
N Goat staring into the middle distance
RubyChao: think of it this way, sheep
RubyChao: it could be worse
RubyChao: it could be
RubyChao: Store Art Online

---

Jumpropeman: aww sugar
Jumpropeman: post lost
Jumpropeman: clicked that very helpful print view option no one would ever use
N Goat: Has everyone been cursed tonight?!
Gooper Blooper: gotta print my RP
N Goat: I'm going to print out my next post and mail it to you guys, okay?
Gooper Blooper: it'll take a national park's worth of trees and enough ink to drain every squidkid in Inkopolis but we'll make it happen

Tuesday, June 11, 2019

Chatzy Madness Volume 339: What, Don't YOU Wear Five Bras?

RubyChao: futo confirmed dumbass
Draco: Futo more like "Fuck you Imma join the Curse" and then next year it's CRP instead of ZFRP.
dork: shes a dumbass because she got a coloring book but no coloring utensils. :|
Cornwind Evil: No no see, Plague lets people buy their own crayons so they can pick out their favorite colors.
dork: should have a bucket fulla crayons on his desk
Cornwind Evil: But those are HIS crayons.
dork: im liking plague too much
dork: i have the plague
dork: I am going to die
Cornwind Evil: I think antibiotics works wonders on that stuff....
RubyChao: watch as Dawn compliments Futo on her expert infiltration like she did with Aura
RubyChao: and then realizes no, Futo is just that dumb

---

Bree: the most incredible thing has just happened in D&D
RubyChao: go on
Bree: tom's wizard's familiar, a small owl named Bimpnottin
Bree: just killed
Bree: a massive clockwork kraken
Bree: Bimpnottin the owl executed the final blow to this kraken
RubyChao: owltomaton flashbacks
RubyChao: but that's excellent
RubyChao: Owls
RubyChao: (for context in the first big bar brawl the small robot owl Owltomaton killed the deity Shuma-Gorath)
Cornwind Evil: Must have yanked out a crucial part
Bree: also
Bree: our bard's cursed sword polymorphed him into a polar bear
Bree: he now has an intelligence of 2, meaning that, miraculously, the team idiot has gotten stupider
Bree: he's also hungry so ven's ranger is rolling Animal Handling on the bear-bard
Jumpropeman: Owltomaton's reference image was also the clockwork owl from a movie where they fought a kraken

---

Jumpropeman: goop
Jumpropeman: I played Anime Girl or Bottle?
Gooper Blooper: yessss
Jumpropeman: and I'm sorry to report it's not very good!
Gooper Blooper: :O
Gooper Blooper: Unbelievable! I was sure I'd picked a winner for you this time
Gooper Blooper: one of these days I'll gift JRM a Quality Time
Jumpropeman: well there is a sequel called Anime Girl or Boy?
Jumpropeman: maybe THAT'S the quality time

---

Jumpropeman: a supposed leak of Pokemon Sword/Shield's pokedex came along and it of course has a billion evolutions for old Pokemon like Dunsparce and the usual suspects
Gooper Blooper: pff, yeah right
Jumpropeman: we're gonna be at Gen 20 and Farfetch'd and Dunsparce will still be single stage

Friday, May 31, 2019

Chatzy Madness Volume 338: I'd Rather Be Watching Dino Dana

ANEPUNLEASHED: One day..
Cornwind Evil: AHHHHH A HARPY
Cornwind Evil: I THOUGHT SHE LEFT
Cornwind Evil: HIDE ALL THE OTHER CUTESY CHARACTERS WE BRING OUT WHEN HERS ARE GONE
Jumpropeman: *hides Taserface*

---

Draco: "Being short has its advantages. A second to aim low is a second I have on them." <- So what happens when he gets in a shootout with Zeldoten and HE accidentally aims too high?
Draco: "Always aim for the knees, copper." BANG.
Jumpropeman: zeldoten wouldn't use a gun though
Draco: You're right. She just throws crabs at people.
Draco: Then Niftu's REALLY in trouble because he wasn't expecting a crab with a ratling gun.
Jumpropeman: I believe voluses are 3 feet tall
Jumpropeman: since they're like half the height of 6 foot tall Shepard
Draco: Ah. So we actually found someone shorter than Zeldoten! Still taller than Nib "Kop Killa" Bles, though.
N Goat: But how tall is Blasto?
Jumpropeman: that is a difficult question
Jumpropeman: I'm guessing 8 feet?
Jumpropeman: most of it is tentacle
N Goat: Aren't we all
Jumpropeman: here's a hanar with regular people
N Goat: But how tall is
N Goat: Inch High Private Eye?
N Goat: Standing on top of Theodore.
Jumpropeman: Inch is about 1.6979e-19 siriometers
Jumpropeman: on top of Theodore though
Jumpropeman: idk probably like 20 feet
Draco: Blasto's all leg.
N Goat: Them pins.
Jumpropeman: those legs do go all the way up
Draco: Even Longlegs McLengthylegs is impressed!

---


N Goat: "But I AM Death." She said uncertainly,
N Goat: You should never claim to be death uncertainly.
N Goat: "Was it your party? Is today your birthday?! I know humans care about those!"
N Goat: There's a lot to unpack when it comes to Giselle.
N Goat: "Only by the slimmest of margins did she not throw her arms wide and tell Jared that She Was Death; If she did, he would have thought Aiko was a clown. Compared to anything else, including dying, Gen 2 couldn't imagine worse. Clowns were subhuman scum."
N Goat: There's just so much
Draco: She's a doll.

(later)

N Goat: "But like Aiko would've said, that would be whack."
N Goat nods sagely


Monday, May 20, 2019

Chatzy Madness Volume 337: Kobbers Should Do More Weed

Chatzy Madness’ Greatest Foe: It's 2 am who wants delirious Aiko posts
Chatzy Madness’ Greatest Foe: She's filling herself with blood
Chatzy Madness’ Greatest Foe: So it'll sync up great

(later)

All Persona Fanfics Are Canon: Aiko has a bad origin story
All Persona Fanfics Are Canon: It makes her sad
All Persona Fanfics Are Canon: I dunno
Bree: del go to bed

---

RubyChao: part of why i wanted to throw Hibiki at Dana
RubyChao: is because they are two of that rare-in-zfrp-thing:
RubyChao: jocks :V
harp: don't leave selena out...
harp: ;;
RubyChao: i said two, not the only two
Jumpropeman: shimmer's still looking for another prep
harp: oh welp
harp: i'm sorry, i'm not ready for
harp: prepRP
Jumpropeman: oh my GOSH Harpy, you can't just say that! UGH
harp: like, duuuude, like... is ANYONE ready for such FAB?

---

RubyChao: so JRM
RubyChao: i decided to boot up Tropico 4
RubyChao: and i wanted to ask
RubyChao: how's my Ignazio
Jumpropeman: that suit's gonna get dirty :V
Jumpropeman: but it's good to see him alive
RubyChao: i gave him a green suit after i found one
RubyChao: i feel i figured out a good set of traits tho
Jumpropeman: yeah, those are pretty good

---

Waluigi: Seaport.
Waluigi: *Srspost
Waluigi: Gosh.
All Persona Fanfics Are Canon: Yeesh

(later)

Gooper Blooper: >Brine attempted to say "srspost" and wrote "Seaport"
Gooper Blooper: I'm proud of myself
All Persona Fanfics Are Canon: Lmao

---

Jumpropeman: the switch is a loaf of bread
harp: Cursed.
iKomodo: D:

Monday, May 13, 2019

Talk To Transformer, Volume 2

I made some more. Or rather, the AI generated some more.

The theme this time is that I tried every line twice (or more), because you get completely different results every time even if the prompt is exactly the same. Enjoy.

---

"Okay, fine." Dana sighed. "You want to know the story of how I lost my arm? I'll tell you the truth. This is how. I fell down a rabbit hole for a while." She paused, as she realized how much she hated to say that; she knew exactly what it meant. She had spent most of her time on Earth-2, and the others who worked there, trying to prevent the Second Impact from happening. She'd lost every other limb she had, and was no good with the pain. It always made her want to scream. She'd been at school for only two months, and had only managed to stay alive because a boy named John was nearby. She had barely survived the night the ship crashed; her mother had been killed, her brother injured, and John's friends were gone and didn't know where she was. One of the few members of her class was being driven to the nearest diner near the wreckage. She had learned how to make

(A surprisingly dark and tragic story about how Dana lost her arm. And everything else.) 

---

"Okay, fine." Dana sighed. "You want to know the story of how I lost my arm? I'll tell you the truth. This is how. I had all my friends in the world, and I had my friend at the wedding. Well, that ended badly. I was talking to the guy at the reception the night before, and the day before. He didn't understand me, which meant nothing to me. He was like "she wants a kid," or I was just mad that I was too old to have kids like I wanted. But then the very next day I just started crying, crying, crying. And she was there the whole time. And when I'd stop just to cry in my sleep I'd say, "'Baby, what are you crying for?' And he'd say 'Awwww! She can't have that!'" Now that I have my arm back and am working at the restaurant, and have even come back to my parents, and we were both at the wedding, the thing I have going for me right now is that all my friends are coming

(...Dana, you didn't answer the question. Good to hear you got your arm back though.) 

Friday, May 10, 2019

Chatzy Madness Volume 336: HEY WHAT'S SO FUNNY ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

RubyChao: "The "Jurassic Zoo" scenario from Dinosaur Digs tasks you with rebuilding a catastrophically failed dinosaur park as a successful zoo featuring all available Jurassic dinosaurs."

---

Gooper Blooper: pretty sure I know what my first event will be
Gooper Blooper: it is very stupid and involves skeiron
Jumpropeman: Armabreaddon?
Gooper Blooper: don't get ahead of yourself, that's the finale
Gooper Blooper: this is just a minor breadcident
Jumpropeman: I thought the finale would be Breadgame
Gooper Blooper: Infinity Bread

---

ivel: saw a Granblue char that looked like he had no nose so Harpy called him a Goopschar
ivel: sadly there's a stronger version of him clearly with one
ivel: rip
Gooper Blooper: pff
Harpy: there are no men on goopy's roster anyway-
Harpy: *blatantly ignores the dudes*
ivel: Helios is my fave lady
Jumpropeman: just that weirdo helios
Gooper Blooper: The Curse is full of eligible bachelors
Gooper Blooper: I'm sure Giovanni's got oodles of fangirl fanart somewhere
Jumpropeman: I'm coming for that Dr. Mario
Gooper Blooper: and the ladies love Mr. L

---

Bree: https://i.imgur.com/tTbLz7m.png
Jumpropeman: why would someone be rude to such an amazing accent
Jumpropeman: it's nearly Horatio
Bree: https://i.imgur.com/7VXHKLe.jpg
Harpy: WE DON'T HAVE TIME
Harpy: TO BE SEXY
Bree: when meiling needs to let sakuya know it's really an emergency

---

Jumpropeman: I got a prerelease review copy of a game by a little company known as Game Freak
Gooper Blooper: :O
Bree: whoa
Harpy: WHSH:Bdlkhj
Bree: hittin the bigtime
Harpy: WHAT
Harpy: JRM I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
ivel: I thought he hit the big time when he got those lewd games
ivel: but this works too
Jumpropeman: AND IT'S POKEMON SWORD AND SHIELD it's called Giga Wrecker Alt and while I think the switch version came out today, the xbox one version comes out May 3rd. Not sure I can get the review ready in time for that day but I'll try to be close!
Jumpropeman: i got the xbox one version
ivel: oh that, neat
Harpy: Oooh
ivel: I forgot about Giga Wrecker
Gooper Blooper: I knew it wouldn't be Pokemon, of course :V Was wondering what it would be
Gooper Blooper: even if JRM had gotten to that level, Swoosh doesn't even have a release date yet
Jumpropeman: they send me a picture of Sobble and that's it
Jumpropeman: review that
Harpy: but how does it rate
M Sheep: Sobbobble
M Sheep: Oh wow, that is some big news, JRM!
Cornwind Evil: He thought he was getting Sword and Shield
Cornwind Evil: But it turned out to be Gamefreek's SWOOOOUURRDDDD and GUNGUN
Cornwind Evil: Alternately
Cornwind Evil: He thought he was getting Sword and Shield
Cornwind Evil: BUT IT WAS ME, DIO!

Thursday, May 9, 2019

Talk To Transformer

https://talktotransformer.com/

Give this website a prompt and it will "write" something for you based off of it. Here's some ZFRP-flavored AI stories. Enjoy.

(The text in bold at the beginning is the prompt I wrote. Italic text in parenthesis is my own comments, added post-generation.)

---

Let the ninth Big Bar Brawl begin! After completing the main quest "A Friend in Need," return to the Sanctuary to finish the quest "A Friendship Gone Viral."

Notes

The Big Bar Brawl takes place after the player completes the mission "A Friend in Need."

The quest "A Friend in Need" cannot be completed until after completing this quest.

The Big Bar Brawl is the first Big Bar Brawl outside of the Caverns of Time. After completing this quest you will receive 5 Big Bar Brawls for free.

Bugs

If the player stands to the right of the bar to receive the fight on the other side before the beginning of the encounter, they will see the Big Bar to the left, but in the center. A fix is to return to where you received the fight, stand to the side of the bar, and turn away to receive the fight from the other side and wait outside to receive it.

If the player dies during the fight, they can simply continue on with the quest.

(Five Brawls for free, huh? I think you'll need to start outsourcing, JRM.)

Tuesday, April 30, 2019

Chatzy Madness Volume 335: Cowboy Carrots With Gray Cowboy Hat And Gray Cowboy Bandana

Jumpropeman: to get into the Easter spirit, I've naturally been watching tons of horror related content on the Nightmare Expo youtube channel
Jumpropeman: apparently
Jumpropeman: someone threw a crab at Hungrybox for winning at a Smash Melee competition recently
ivel: wat
Jumpropeman: a real crab too
Jumpropeman: dead at least
ivel: guess they were feeling crabby

---

Jumpropeman: now this
Jumpropeman: is my kind of horror
M Sheep: Jrm, why
M Sheep: and now I've learned that this guy tried to pitch a show of this to adult swim.
M Sheep lies down
Jumpropeman: It sure is a great club sheep
Jumpropeman: I can get into this right here :)
M Sheep: Some of the elements going on here I do actually really like and think one could mine a lot creatively from it.
M Sheep: Other elements
M Sheep: Oi
Jumpropeman: i like this video just for its oddity, but the others didnt really capture me because its often a mishmash
M Sheep: From what little I've looked at, that one was the better viewing experi-
M Sheep: hold everything
M Sheep: this
M Sheep: madman
M Sheep: looking at some thing for adult swim he put together and there's a section in here where he sampled the song from Fun In Balloonland
M Sheep is having a very surreal experience at the moment
M Sheep: THIS
M Sheep: But maybe don't watch more than thirty seconds, for the sake of sanity.
Jumpropeman: >rated 1.2/10 on IMDB
Jumpropeman: ah, so this is another one of your treasures, is it
M Sheep: It's an odd one. Part footage of a parade with voiceover by a woman who may be very, very deep in her cups, part kind of home movie-esque where a kid and some other kids talk to balloon peo-
M Sheep: There's nothing I can say, no way to frame this movie where it sounds like a sane or enjoyable movie experience.
M Sheep: When Rifftrax did Rollergator, they equated it with Fun In Balloonland
Jumpropeman: wow
M Sheep: Having seen both, I would actually state on the record that Rollergator is the marginally more entertaining experience because, at the very least, while you can't follow what's happening because there is no script and all the dialogue is drowned out by an endlessly looping banjo track, there's always stuff happening onscreen. Fun In Balloonland takes its time to do anything.
M Sheep: NOW HERE'S SOME CONTENT WITH REAL TASTE
Jumpropeman: I really want to watch Rollergator now
M Sheep: The whole thing used to be up on Youtube, but no longer.
M Sheep: You might have to go to Rifftrax and purchase a vod.
M Sheep: Only other thing I can immediately think of is look at the online Pluto Tv's Rifftrax channel schedule and see if it's in rotation.
Jumpropeman: surely someone is selling the real deal
Jumpropeman: like a dvd with a printout cover or something
M Sheep: Amazingly, there's a single copy you could buy off the Walmart website for like fifty bucks if that tickles your fancy.
M Sheep: I have no idea how that's a thing
Jumpropeman: you know
Jumpropeman: I don't think
Jumpropeman: it is
Jumpropeman: tickling my fancy
M Sheep: There are a lot of places trying to sell this garbage for over forty dollars.
Jumpropeman: Rare, untouched Rollergator, mint condition
M Sheep: Cheapest for a physical copy turns out is 24.95 on Amazon. Cheapest overall is 9.99 digital video on Rifftrax; no idea if you can turn their commentary off.
Jumpropeman: i probably wouldn't mind the commentary
M Sheep: Honestly.
M Sheep: You might as well be able to hear something other than banjos.
M Sheep: To be unnecessarily fair, you do strain to hear things from the beginning but the banjo doesn't become an omnipresent companion until at least a few scenes in.
M Sheep: Chatzy Madness 911: Sheep's Been Talkin' 'bout That Rollergator Again
Jumpropeman: a day without rollergator is... well, that's hardly a day at all!

Saturday, April 27, 2019

Chatzy Madness Volume 334: Leather Daddy Murderer

Jumpropeman: Earth Defense Force is one of those game series where I have no idea where to start
ivel: I never played them but I've seen gameplay
ivel: I'd just say whatever one you want seems to be right
Jumpropeman: Blaster Master is the same
Jumpropeman: clearly the right choice would be the game with the cute plant girl, but that's Blaster Master Zero 2
Jumpropeman: I'd RP her
ivel: Harpy said she has nice melons
ivel: lewd
ivel: bad Harp
ivel: she told me to send that too
Jumpropeman: you should see the fanart
Harpy: i'd like that-
Jumpropeman: link
Harpy: excellent
Jumpropeman: link
Draco joined the chat
Harpy: hi!
Jumpropeman: !ih
Draco: Hello
Draco: Wow. She's got nice melons.
ivel: hi Harpy
ivel: at least I spoilered that :U
Draco: I'm allowed to not spoiler things.
Draco: Or am I?
ivel: you're not
Jumpropeman: I do think the flower pot head is cute too
Jumpropeman: she's a pot head
Harpy: lel
Draco: 😲

---

Jumpropeman: some commercials say "tell your doctor if you've been somewhere fungal infections are common"
Jumpropeman: and I wonder what those places are like
RubyChao: presumably, the Mushroom Kingdom

---

RubyChao: so
RubyChao: ivel
Harpy: SO
RubyChao: when are you debuting Neptune for the Brawl?
ivel: when Harpy doesn't
Harpy: <<
Harpy: i did consider neptune for this setting.

Wednesday, April 24, 2019

Chatzy Madness Volume 333: Gentle Bear (AKA Lewd Edition)

M Sheep joined the chat
Jumpropeman: I just had a small realization
Jumpropeman: sheep is here
M Sheep: I am here
M Sheep: Sort of
Jumpropeman: but also
Jumpropeman: if Sine was controlled by the Lord pretty much the whole time zeph developed feelings for her
Jumpropeman: that means he really just wanted to bone down with the Lord
Blasted Jewish Magic Hats: To be fair, Zephryus would have probably latched on to anyone in that development stage
Blasted Jewish Magic Hats: It just happened to be the woman possessed by the evil darkness
Jumpropeman: aint that just the dating scene in a nutshell, amirightfellas
M Sheep sidles away from JRM
Draco: Confirmed.

---

RubyChao: is there an Urban Spirit
RubyChao: or City Spirit
RubyChao: or equivalent
Jumpropeman: There is a Village Spirit who never really updated his name when these people started getting too big for their britches
Jumpropeman: I'd probably reinvent its design if I ever had use for it in RP
RubyChao makes plans to talk so much about urban aesthetic you have No Choice
M Sheep: S E W E R S P I R I T
Jumpropeman: it shows up for one post to just tell Chao to seriously chill
RubyChao: i'm excited for this setting okay
M Sheep: I'm excited to learn that Charles VI of France
M Sheep: Known as "The Beloved"
M Sheep: occasionally believed he was made of glass.
RubyChao: so
RubyChao: he was actually a PK mutant?
M Sheep: :I

---

RubyChao: "The original DVDs of How the Grinch Stole Christmas! starred a Grinch with an unexpected mustard-yellow skin tone. When the special later turned 40, a new restoration tuned the Grinch's fur back to its original green."
RubyChao: reminder that we still need to have The Grinch show up for Devil Ed jokes (honestly I feel like Those Left Behind put an end of sorts to Devil Ed jokes, at least in my mind, thanks to giving Ed a satisfying wrapup and ending)
RubyChao: (so good work, JRM)
Jumpropeman: I almost had the Grinch be a Mystery Fiter
Jumpropeman: but it would have been the Grinch from The Grinch Night instead of Stole Christmas
Jumpropeman: so that he could use his Paraphernalia Wagon
RubyChao: but he has implicitly been in rp
RubyChao: would you VIOLATE your STANDARDS so EASILY!?!?!?!?
Jumpropeman: mystery fiter rules are different than secret fiter
Jumpropeman: I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT
ivel: ABUSE OF POWER

Tuesday, April 23, 2019

Chatzy Madness Volume 332: GarfieldEATS

Jumpropeman: *Rings the Fallout 76 bell* New news: despite claiming all post release DLC will free and only cosmetics would be microtransanctions, there are now stat boosting outfits available only for a limited time, including the Silver Shroud outfit
RubyChao: MR. HOWARD SAYS THE RIDE NEVER ENDS
Jumpropeman: you think he keeps the development team locked in a bunker where they can't see the feedback from the rest of the world
Gooper Blooper: oh good, it had been a few weeks since I'd heard about a fallout 76 fuckup
Jumpropeman: also
Jumpropeman: apparently
Jumpropeman: the outfits now have lost their buffs
Jumpropeman: so if you bought it for the buffs
Jumpropeman: sucks for you :V

---

Gooper Blooper left the chat
Draco: Tsk. Barely missed Goops.
Jumpropeman: I'm still missing goops
Jumpropeman: but he'll be back tomorrow
Draco: Or will he?!
Draco: >=D
Jumpropeman: did you cut his brakes too?
Draco: Even better: I rearranged his Garfields.
Jumpropeman: you've taken things too far, draco
Jumpropeman: i mean, murdering a guy is one thing
Jumpropeman: practically a prank really
Jumpropeman: but you're destroying a man's soul
Bree: no no, he only rearranged the garfields. he didn't damage or take them
Bree: that would have been truly heinous
Jumpropeman: we'd have a regular Garfgate scandal on our hands then
Jumpropeman: or Gatefield perhaps?
Draco: I'm not a monster.
Jumpropeman: To celebrate the 45h anniversary of the Watergate Scandal, the hotel had some fun changes: "In addition to the room 214 makeover, hotel guests receive room keys that read "No Need to Break-In," while the hotel's main phone number refers back to the original break-in date (844-614-1972). Rather than hold music, hotel callers hear speeches by President Richard Nixon. And in each room are pencils engraved with the message, "I stole this from the Watergate Hotel.""
Draco: lol

---

Gooper Blooper: 53 hours in on Disgaea 5
Gooper Blooper: this is a long goddamn game
Bingo Champion: suffer
Bingo Champion: nerd

---

Jumpropeman: "Fallout 76 Player Banned After 900 Hours For Having Too Much Ammo"
Draco: Saw that. Even Bethesda can't believe someone would spend time playing Fallout 76.

Friday, April 19, 2019

Chatzy Madness Volume 331: Beata Mozzaria

RubyChao: i had a thought on Olympia Native Dynamics on the upper city
Moving Sheep: Oh?
Jumpropeman: is clothing optional there too?
RubyChao: yes, but besides that
RubyChao: you know how i mentioned i feel like there's an Outer City, an Inner City, and a City Center?
Moving Sheep: There's a haven outside this city?
Moving Sheep: An Outer Haven if you will?
RubyChao: yes, but besides that
RubyChao: i feel like
Moving Sheep: a sandwich?
RubyChao: maybe you guys don't deserve answers :I
Moving Sheep: >:I
Moving Sheep: Alright, I'll be good.
Jumpropeman: Lucky Charms are magically delicious, but Olympia citizens are magically suspicious
RubyChao: the City Center feels much more... set apart from the rest of upper olympia. like the outer city and the inner city are distinct but you'd think nothing of living in the outer city and going to the inner city to work, they feel very intertwined. certainly there are people who live in the city center and go to work outside, or vice versa, or other such inter-movements, but the whole attitude of the city center region feels different. very "ivory tower" in a way. goops suggested we place the bar in the outer parts and i agree with that, i like the idea of the big gleaming spire center being the area we watch from afar and sometimes go to
RubyChao: hopefully this makes sense/don't feel too restrictive
Brinehammer: Jumpropeman: time to RP the five star Taco Bells in Olympia
Brinehammer: Finally, my time has come.
Jumpropeman: make that ivory tower a taco bell and we're in business
RubyChao: will do
Jumpropeman: ive got no problems with the idea though
Draco: Sorry. Olympia doesn't have Taco Bell, just Meh Burger.
Jumpropeman: a five star meh burger?
Draco: Yes.
Draco: Someone there once tasted something besides sadness!
Jumpropeman: no longer Dave the Intern
Draco: They accidentally brought their own food with them.
Jumpropeman: now Dave the Assistant Manager!
Moving Sheep: The five stars are five ninja stars
Moving Sheep: thrown to try and kill you to save you from biting into a Meh Burger
Jumpropeman: no increase in pay but all new responsibilities!
Jumpropeman: "Meh Burger has a special VIP area behind its main establishment that is reserved for the biggest VIPs and their guests. This area is known only by the VIPs and is kept a secret to most other visitors. The VIP area offers much more regal accommodations, including hygienic and classy settings, first-class service and exclusive, top-class food. Meh Burger also hands out VIP cards that grant discounts, although they are unrelated to the VIP area. In fact, the whole Meh Burger VIP program is a sham: its purpose is just to make disgruntled customers feel special. As such, nearly everyone in Hedgehog Village has a VIP card, although some customers are intentionally kept out of the loop to offset the discounts"
Moving Sheep: I don't see any issue with Chao's proposal
RubyChao: thanks!
Moving Sheep: it makes sense with details that have come before
Moving Sheep: I just hope I keep it straight!
Moving Sheep accidentally puts the Green Hell Zoen in the middle of the upper cityDraco 'accidentally' puts the Green Hell Zeons in space.
Moving Sheep intentionally places the Green Hell Zoinks inside Deadly Duplications
Jumpropeman accidentally makes the Green Hell Zenon: The Zequel into the Brawl arena
Moving Sheep incidentally replaces the Green Hell Zebra with the Hyper Funk Zone


Wednesday, April 17, 2019

Chatzy Madness Volume 330: You Talkin' About... DIA?

Mobile Hanz entered for the first time
Moving Sheep: Oh god, it's MOBILE
Moving Sheep: SHOOT TO KILL
Mobile Hanz: I bought one of those bootleg game boy shaped NES emulator systems and I’m a little bit perturbed because it got delivered to Alaska for some reason instead of Ohio?
RubyChao: that's
RubyChao: quite the mistake
Moving Sheep: That does seem odd
Mobile Hanz: Last time I ever order vidya games from China
Gooper Blooper: Well, the Ice Climbers better appreciate their new Game Man
Moving Sheep: Learn your states, China!
Gooper Blooper: "state name begins and ends with a vowel, close enough"
Mobile Hanz: It’s a shame because it looked kickin rad
Mobile Hanz: I have reached out to the customer support and I expect rectification post haste.

---

Jumpropeman: so earlier today I went outside around 11 am to put my gamefly game out for the maillady, but I didn't realize that the particular pair of shorts I'm wearing has a huge hole in the back seat
Jumpropeman: I hope the busy street we live on enjoyed the view as I took my time with my butt to them
Moving Sheep: going to need my fainting couch

---

Mighty Action Del: Chatzy rooooaaads
Mighty Action Del: Take me hooooome
Mighty Action Del: To the plaaaaace
Mighty Action Del: I belooooong

---

Harpderp: "life sized velociraptor, only on amazon"
Harpderp: th
Harpderp: thanks ad...
ivel: so you're getting it right
Harpderp: no...

Monday, April 15, 2019

A New Era Dawns


"Good Evening. This is Slow Weather Jamz, your source for 24/7 weather coverage in, on, and around Olympia. Stay with us, and stay informed.

Here's your weather forecast for Tuesday, April 16."

All across Olympia, restaurants and homes and vehicles alike heard the sounds of the local forecast begin on their TVs and radios. It may be above the clouds, but there was still plenty to talk about regarding Olympia's weather. Temperature and wind speed, for starters, not to mention the city was subject to artificial rain at certain preplanned times to keep the decorative plants watered and to make the city feel a little more 'natural'. Of course, nothing about Olympia was natural. This city was schemed up in a board meeting years ago, and built from the ground up to one day be a flying spectacle. At last, that day had come.

But was the world ready for this? Had Olympia's time come too soon? Or was it time for the people of Earth to step forward into a bold new age of interplanetary alliances?

Monday, April 8, 2019

Chatzy Madness Volume 328: I Say Lego Hitler And The Boys Come Running

derp: help, i can't get kazoos out of my head
derp: but i got a wrapup done
derp: fifty million more to go
derp: ...just need to make 'em short and sweet, unlike this one :U
ivel: I'll help, Harpy
ivel: this helps right
derp: no
ivel: you didn't even watch :I
derp: jiopdffjkp
derp: the urge to livereact is real
ivel: do it
derp: IVEL YOU BASTARD
derp: "don't run, jump, or dance while playing the kazoo"
derp: bitch you can't tell me what to do
derp: YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD
derp: "YEOW- oh hai :)'
derp: um
derp: ?!??
derp: "Waita minute. who ARE YOU"
derp: me after seeing all these fuckin new chars in ZFRP
Draco: I had a traumatic experience today though. While I was out shopping, one of the stores I was in played a "Cars for Kids" radio ad. D:
derp: klfjdfjhfg
Gooper Blooper: an old foe returns
derp: I MUST KEEP WATCHING THIS VIDEO SO I CAN PURGE THAT THOUGHT FROM MY MIND
derp: extreme kazooing
derp: THIS GUY IS VERY EXCITED ABOUT FRIENDS AND FUN AND SPECIAL FRIENDS
derp: AND UH
derp: I AM MILDLY CONCERNED
derp: "I LIKE TO PRETEND"
derp: yeah bud me too
derp: i just pretended an hour ago
derp: i am being kazooed in my general direction
derp: what even is my life right now
derp: i'm more than just afraid now
derp: pleasetakethispretendspiritawwayfromme
derp: i'm not yer pardner
derp: PAL
derp: >:U
Draco: Okay.
derp: "you're my special friend"
derp: skldjglkdfgjlkfdjgldf
derp: BUTWHYTHO
derp: i should not be reacting like this to a freakin 3 minute video
derp: should be specially reserved for kaijus
ivel: no, you shouldn't
ivel: you should react like this to a 30 minute one.
derp: ivel made me break taboo and you'll make me-
derp: no
Draco: Anywho, I'll see y'all later. ^_^
derp: nooo draco come baaaaa-
derp: YOU'RE MY SPECIAL FRIEND
derp: ivel
derp: i will not lie
derp: this is something a younger me would have unironically enjoyed
derp: unfortunately i'm an adult and have some measure of self-awareness and i'm suffering a bad case of embarassment
derp: 100% cheese
derp: plot twist: i kinda liked the last song.
derp: kill me now
ivel: I'm still not sure if this is cheese or haunted video
derp: i mean
ivel: I think the latter though :U
derp: you could watch the 30 minute video and find out!
ivel: or both
ivel: implying I'm not, dear
ivel: I'm 13 minutes in
derp: ivel in deep
ivel: to be fair, it could be a cheesy haunted video
derp: this video is going to haunt me forever
derp: speshul frand

---

Bree: crash bandicoot skill report: I fucking suck
Bree: turns out nostalgia doesn't help you play video games

Thursday, April 4, 2019

Chatzy Madness Volume 327: Dolphin Paddler Edition

peter no: "Bonnie often wished he was a normal rabbit, instead of a six-foot tall, one ton robot that looked a bit like a rabbit. For a start, he wouldn't smell of weed and alcohol. He'd smell of the morning dew, and maybe rabbit poop sometimes. Sure, he'd risk myxomatosis or being eaten by a fox, but that horrible, prolonged death seemed preferable to another minute alongside Freddy Fazfuck."
peter no: A line from an abandoned blogpost I've got

---

Harpy: *tries to type np*
Harpy: *sends out a message saying "no" instead*
Harpy: i have ruined lives with these hands.

---

Moniter Sheep: Del, are you seriously telling me there's going to be another Bubsy game?
Moniter Sheep: What a time to be alive
Draco: That's, what, the fifth sign of the apocalypse?

---

Moniter Sheep: Fite:>Longtime fans of Fite Island might wonder what the island does between its bloody battles to the death,
Moniter Sheep: I, for one, assumed it was working on diversifying its portfolio.

---

Jumpropeman: >Dracula at the concert
Jumpropeman: this is it, the moment like 8 separate video games have prepared me for
Jumpropeman: I must kill Dracula once more
Draco: How many times must we teach you this lesson, old man?! D:< *beats up Dracula*

---

RubyChao: BETHESDA BUGS, 2003: sometimes this character walks funny
BETHESDA BUGS, 2007: these two guards are walking inside each other
BETHESDA BUGS, 2011: this dragon has clipped into whiterun castle and killed 15 plot-essential NPCs
BETHESDA BUGS, 2018: we fucking deleted the whole game


Monday, April 1, 2019

Chatzy Madness Volume 326: Refined And Polished

SteelKomodo: link
Bree: super smash peaches ultimate
SteelKomodo: yes
SteelKomodo: mariette is p. strong
Brandon Carter: bye booser
Brandon Carter: i'll take several of these blonde bitches
Dels at Work: lol wow
Dels at Work: harp coming out strong
SteelKomodo: XD

---

Jumpropeman: would Mario Party count towards The Haunted Hoard
Gooper Blooper: would Yoshi
Draco: No. The only thing scary about Mario Party is if you survive a game with your friendships intact.
Jumpropeman: now with my opinions on Yoshi in flux, I'm drifting about the abyss, unsure what my real least favorite game might be
Gooper Blooper: Catch The Ball
Jumpropeman: funnily enough, that's the one that keeps coming to mind
Gooper Blooper: a shame it didn't have enough substance for a real dissection, but then that's why it's a candidate
Jumpropeman: Catch the Ball? I'd rather catch the plague! Ha cha cha cha!
Gooper Blooper: on one hand I'm gonna miss the Yoshi jokes once you inevitably get around to reviewing it and it only earns a Bad or something
Gooper Blooper: on the other hand, what a story
Jumpropeman: the lead-in paragraph at least writes itself :V

---

Jumpropeman: smogon has another grassroots tier growing that is even worse than PU, a tier already named specifically for being bad
Jumpropeman: ZU
Jumpropeman: guess what gooper
Jumpropeman: Beheeyem is now ZU
Jumpropeman: one day we shall have BU
Jumpropeman: the lowest tier
Jumpropeman: it's just Beheeyem
Gooper Blooper: just keep making lower tiers
Gooper Blooper: watch my favorites plummet forever

---

M Sheep: "Wario and his group of whimsically designed minions who will never be seen again"
M Sheep: So, i should expect these guys to make an appearance next year, when, Jrm?
Jumpropeman: believe me
Jumpropeman: I'm tempted
M Sheep: Wario's Woods? How's about
M Sheep: Wario's Warehouse District?
Jumpropeman: Wario's Slums
M Sheep: Wario's Winnebagos
Draco: Wario's Winery
M Sheep: Wario's Out of Place Windmills

Saturday, March 23, 2019

Power Play

-CENTRAL AMERICA-
-PACAYA VOLCANO NATIONAL PARK-

Pacaya Volcano. In 1965, it violently erupted, blanketing the earth with molten rock. Since then, it has remained quietly active, steadily unleashing a magma flow for decades. If there was ever a place for a dinosaur to live, this was it - at least, going by books old enough to have been published before the volcano blew its' top.


Gwangi surveyed his domain. For over three years, he and the Velociraptor known as Blue had lived here, free from the chaos of Las Vegas and the Neo Kobbers. They spent a lot of time in the lush jungles nearby, but they often returned to the volcano to explore and intimidate tourists. It was a strange life, but a safe one for monsters like them. They were joined by another former Neo Kobber, the giant mantis Spitfire. The three of them hunted in the jungles together, then spread out over the volcano to patrol their territory.

Today, their time here would come to an end.

It was Spitfire who detected the anomalous noise first. Her antenna twitched, and she held up a claw to stop Gwangi just as he was kicking off one of his territorial roaring displays. "Quiet. You hear that?" Blue cocked her head and listened carefully, chirping in surprise when she too heard the noise. It was a deep, low thrum, some sort of mechanical propulsion. Spitfire thought it sounded familiar, and tried to place it... ah, yes, now she remembered. It sounded like her old friend Captain Gordon's ship, the Gotengo. That flying battleship had a jet system on board that sounded similar to this. But that was the problem - similar. Not the same.

"...What is that?" Spitfire twiddled her mandibles in mild irritation at there being a question she didn't know the answer to. "Hang on, I'll get to the bottom of this." The three of them were at the fringes of the jungle, and unable to see past the canopy. Spitfire made short work of that problem, scuttling up a tree and reaching the top to peer into the sky.

It was then that she saw the airship approaching the park.

Thursday, March 21, 2019

Chatzy Madness Volume 325: Kobber Girls With Huge Racks

Brandoo Champloo: tatami's reaction to everything is as follows
Brandoo Champloo: gklajfkljgfjljfldg

---

Jumpropeman: "you didn't happen to see the Nakali gems"
Jumpropeman: *labrys laughs* You mean these?
Jumpropeman: *Goes Super Labrys*
Draco: You found me out. Neo Dark Million? More like Neo Labrys Million.

---

Jumpropeman: future brinechar

---

The Bill Wurtz Bad Boys: question
The Bill Wurtz Bad Boys: is dedede a penguin
The Bill Wurtz Bad Boys: are you sure
The Bill Wurtz Bad Boys: that's two questions i guess

---

Goblet Time: Okay also there's been some new developments in Gorillaz lore
Goblet Time: but I'm ignoring all of it because fuck that
Goblet Time: the band is happy now, Damon, don't take this away from me D:
Bree: happy because they got rid of murdoc "pickledick" niccals
Jumpropeman: you know it won't last
Jumpropeman: he's gonna rise from his jail cell

Monday, March 11, 2019

Chatzy Madness Volume 324: Intellectual Articles about Tony the Tiger

Bree: it's my headcanon that when they encountered the niseis, phoenix was like "wat" and browny or the niseis had to be like "clones. it's a long story."
Bree: and further, that browny tried to introduce them out of politeness, but could only remember two of the niseis' names
Bree: admittedly I like to think most people can't remember their names aside from like, those who know them well or those who try especially hard
Bree: "simone and... the other five"
Jumpropeknack: Clawhauser has Know Your Niseis flash cards
Jumpropeknack: they don't help because they look the same :V
ivel: Simone and the Nisei 5
Bree: hahah yess

---

Jumpropeknack: sorry for exposition barf, but I figured it easier than having everyone ask questions gradually
Jumpropeknack: of course, you aren't limited to just showing off your area. It's actually smarter to show off the whole of the game after all
Jumpropeknack: make me want Knack 3
MobileDraco: Make me want to save Knack. Jk
Bree: "no one wants a knack 3 except people with really low standards"
Bree: jrm
Bree: do you want some burn cream?
Jumpropeknack: I want Functional Knack 2 before a Knack 3
Jumpropeknack: how will I know the fate of the High Goblin if I don't get to beat 2 first?!

---

Bree: I have fruit knacks
Bree: ...snacks.
Bree: I have fruit snacks.
Jumpropeknack: there we go, another tie-in
Bree: did I help OOCly and by accidently
ivel: you're so helpful
ivel: you have a real
ivel: KNACK for helping
Bree: if I said I'm too tired to continue the "nobody likes puns" meme, would that alarm you
Bree: because I kek'd
M Sheep: knackturally
Bree: don't worry, I still don't like steve buscemi jokes.
Bree: timing!
ivel: knack it off Sheep :I
M Sheep: knock.
Jumpropeknack: *moves the bar back to Atrocious*
M Sheep: Fool, you only make me stronger.
M Sheep: i mean
M Sheep: hi
Gooper Blooper: link
M Sheep: Missing from trailer:shot of a slightly bewildered Father Squid giving a thumbs up and saying "It's specknackular."
Gooper Blooper: Father Squid wasn't available for the first draft
Jumpropeknack: =o how'd you find my hidden file
M Sheep: "This game's no 'relic' and 'transforms' the franchise into..." Father Squid squints offscreen. "orb-iting greatness."
M Sheep: "Look for the code on specially marked Scorito snacks and Mt Dufe. Some will enter, less will win. Standard postage rates will apply. Knack is back."
M Sheep: "Remember to Knack responsibly."
M Sheep next up: Father Squid records the anti-theft PSA before every film
M Sheep: "You wouldn't steal a giraffe!"
RubyChao: yes i would
ivel: I would
MobileDraco: Well, I can't BUY one.
Jumpropeknack: when, as a reviewer, I find myself somewhat agreeing with a fictional fat plant man, you know you did good
Gooper Blooper: XD
Jumpropeknack: I've only brought it up once before, but Knack 3 as described reminds me a lot of Vexx, and there was a lot of joy to be found in just getting everything in that game for the sake of it... but the final level really strained that so it was relief to learn "hey, you ain't missing anything for not getting all the stuff"
Draco: Wait, what? Chuckster's not real? D:
Bree: chuckster's not fat!!!!!!
Bree: it's alllllll muscle baby
Bree: from CHUCKING
Bree: unless we somehow got another fictional fat plant man when I wasn't looking
Bree: who is also named chuckster because draco said chuckster
Draco: I assumed he meant Chuckster.
Jumpropeknack: I actually meant Zeldoten twas the Chuckster yes
Jumpropeknack: *googles Knack Crying for a reason that isn't a spoiler I swear*

Tuesday, February 26, 2019

Chatzy Madness Volume 323: These Memes Are Non-Toxic

Bree: dumb bree thoughts hour
Bree: something I just told chao
Bree: ibuki's reaction to the kaede kocktail was most likely to utter the phrase "wow kaede you're delicious!"
Bree: which miu probably found really funny
Bree: if she was there
M Sheep: huehuehue
Bree: also meiling and komachi had a text message conversation later that was basically like
Bree: "how was your day machi"
"the stories were hilarious thank you for telling me to read them. how about you?"
"good to hear you liked them! I fucked a super hot chick today"
"good for you"
"her titties were ENORMOUS"
"that's great but you know I don't want details"
Bree: komachi is just used to hearing about meiling's escapades by now, she just doesn't want specifics
Bree: it's a required part of being a friend of meiling
Bree: then meiling was like "I still love your rack more <3 night machiiii" and komachi said goodnight and that was it
Jumpropeman: miu komachi feud incoming
Jumpropeman: "my tits are better than yours!" "sure" "NO REALLY LOOK"
Draco: "Yep. Those are boobs alright." "STOP COMPLIMENTING THEM AND GET MAD. D:< "
Bree: we did promise it would happen :V
Bree: well not really promise but
Bree: y'know
Bree: "my tits are better than yours!" "sure whatever" "and my ass is better than nitori's!" "YOU TAKE THAT BACK"
Draco: Parsee gets out the popcorn and just watches this episode of Jerry Springer unfold.
Bree: note that this is a joke hence the strikeout, komachi actually wouldn't care about that either :V
Bree: she'd only care if miu actually insulted nitori (which, miu being miu, would 100% happen)

---

M Sheep: Holy moly, that rating for Metal Gear Solid.
M Sheep: I'm very interested to see you review other Metal Gear titles, JRM.
Jumpropeman: you mean like Metal Gear Acid
Jumpropeman: or Snake's Revenge?
M Sheep: Did I
M Sheep: stutter
Jumpropeman: XD

---

Jumpropeman: tapatalk support forum says "Oops, no Groups found under the name 'tapatalksupport'. Would you like to create a new group on Tapatalk?"
The Del on the Bus: That's not great!

---

Draco: Apparently DK had a racing game of his own on the Wii?
Gooper Blooper: Yes!
Jumpropeman: Barrel Blast
Gooper Blooper: Barrel Blast- 2slow
Jumpropeman: they say
Jumpropeman: somewhere
Jumpropeman: someone ACTUALLY played it
Jumpropeman: but this may just be a legend
Gooper Blooper: Lanky's in it
RubyChao: LANKY'S COMPETING!

---

RubyChao: you know what i like
RubyChao: that my plot's antagonists so far are
RubyChao: -metroid
RubyChao: -f-zero
RubyChao: -touhou
RubyChao: -mega man star force
RubyChao: it's very zfrp
Jumpropeman: when are we getting Madden antagonists
RubyChao: next year
Draco: I was gonna do Debplot next year, but I can do Madden instead.
RubyChao: as part of my Nascar Racers plot
RubyChao: which i still say is basically just American F-Zero

---

Jumpropeman: "Experience a fartwarming tale of personal growth, self discovery, poop, wieners and butts."
ivel: jrmplot summary?
Jumpropeman: if only
Bree: whoever wrote that, their boss should be arrested for child labor
Bree: because the writer of that synopsis has to be like five

---

Bed Couch: scroll up for pink, big elf
Bed Couch: pbelf
Bed Couch: peanut butter elf?
Bed Couch: thanks dia.
Bed Couch: dia's a DEFENDER OF JUSTICE
Bed Couch: STAR HERO, DOING STAR HERO THINGS
Bed Couch: LIKE EATING A BURGER
Bed Couch: AND TREATING HER FRIENDS WITH RESPECT!
Bed Couch: AND KISSING HER HUSBAND GOOD NIGHT
Bed Couch: STAR HERO
Gooper Blooper: Who wouldn't be in awe of a heroine like that
Bed Couch: emily is always in awe

---

MobileDraco: It's going to be really good when Cricket wins the KoB Beauty Contest and buys a mansion made of cocaine to live in with Vinny and raise a family of Fazfucks.

---

Jumpropeman: this bird's got booty
Cornwind Evil: Now I must go
Cornwind Evil: Later all
Jumpropeman: don't fear the booty
Jumpropeman: embrace it cornwind

---

RubyChao: >black shadow was born on august 15th according to the anime
RubyChao: i missed the opportunity to do Black Shadow's Birthday Party: The Event
RubyChao: alas
Gooper Blooper: aw, we missed his birthday party
RubyChao: the kobbers get him the remaining three gems, out of politeness
RubyChao: they were at the top of his wishlist!
Draco: Darn! I was looking forward to celebrating a villain's birthday.
Gooper Blooper: Have one of the Deadly Six be celebrating their birthday the day we fight them

---

M Sheep: Dog gave me a particularly insolent squeak.
M Sheep: Acting like I can magically part the clouds and stop the storm and am choosing not too.
Draco: Silly dog.
RubyChao: you can't?

---

Del Shop emerges from underneath a pile of blankets
Del Shop: What did I miss
Jumpropeman: we voted you off the island del
Jumpropeman: you were washing your memes in the drinking water
Jumpropeman: now we're all poisoned because of you
M Sheep: You've been banished to Coconut Fred's Fruit Salad Island
M Sheep: ...
M Sheep remembers the setting this year
M Sheep attempts to resist making that canon

Jumpropeman: if you do sheep
Jumpropeman: I'll strike back with Mike, Lu, and Og
Del Shop: Listen
Del Shop: These memes are non-toxic
Del Shop: Y'all got sick from something else
Del Shop: Just saiyan

---

MobileDraco: She's a Cricket now, but when Koa's done with Vinny, she'll be a Black Widow. BI
MobileDraco: Jk
Fifty Spider Monkeys: pls no harm vinny he wants to make waffles and go to raves
Fifty Spider Monkeys: thats all
Draco: oh ok that's fine
Draco starts drawing pictures of Vinny kissing Cricket. :3
Fifty Spider Monkeys: oh gosh
Fifty Spider Monkeys: i didn't expect this turn
Fifty Spider Monkeys swoons
M Sheep: >But all he knew was Tetris and punching. Damn it.
M Sheep: Very sad
M Sheep: "Things are really good... I don't know why, but I think it's because of you. You see it too, right? Or am I crazy?"
M Sheep: Haha, oh man, what a conversation to have right after digging out a bullet.

---

M Sheep: >Beelzebufo
M Sheep: I
M Sheep: I love it?
M Sheep: One internet search later: "Beelzebufo are Amazing!"
M Sheep: Apparently, so does everyone else!
M Sheep: "Tamed Beelzebufo make for strange mounts. Strange mounts for strange people."
M Sheep: I don't need your frog judgement, Game Developers!

---

Brando: i feel bad my only solution is sending it somewhere else :/
Gooper Blooper: WHY DON'T WE TAKE THE CENTRE AND PUSH IT SOMEWHERE ELSE
Brando: Then it would be
Brando: off-centre
Gooper Blooper: http://youtube.com/watch?v=oShTJ90fC34
Brando: I win rp with my oscar worthy pun

---

Bastard Centre: my favorites are DEAD and now i have to deal with this sudden girl here on my porch being important

---

Jumpropeman: what made you pick that carnotaurus
Jumpropeman: I thought for sure it would be the T-Rex :V
Gooper Blooper: In the post the crate is introduced, Millennium Bug's note mentions he "couldn't get the biggest one".
Jumpropeman: he's gonna have to have a higher park score to unlock it
Gooper Blooper: I've dropped a few hints about this, but Millennium Bug is a lot more important than he initially appeared, but we won't be seeing answers on that front until next year
Jumpropeman: aww sugar
Gooper Blooper: I've got some big plans brewing
Gooper Blooper: including a bombshell to drop at the end of the year
Gooper Blooper: YOU'LL NEVER SEE IT COMING.
RubyChao: too bad you just spoiled that you're doing Persona 5 plot next year
RubyChao: i'm onto you.
Jumpropeman: Celestia was dead the whole time!
Gooper Blooper: Celestia is actually Celesteela
Jumpropeman: that would make things so much easier
Gooper Blooper: too bad I can't do the ol' "have we ever seen Celestia and Celesteela in the same place?!" jokes because I keep sending them to the same plots
RubyChao: one is otters in a line
M Sheep: Millennium Bug teasing has been very curious.
M Sheep: I have no idea his connection to a dino in a crate, to begin with, besides him having one shipped.
Gooper Blooper: The Millennium Bug facts so far:
1: He needs money for someone he cares about
2: He has access to dinosaurs
Gooper Blooper: good work working this shit out ya fuckers
Jumpropeman: the person her cares for? The Dinosaur King
Draco: HE'S CORNWIND AND HE'S WORKING ON CENTREPLOT.
Jumpropeman: Dinosaur King plot let's go

---

M Sheep: "Characters do not have to be capable combatants to participate."
M Sheep examines portrait of Father Squid on wall
M Sheep moves it aside to put combination into wall safe
M Sheep takes out key, plunks briefcase handcuffed to self on table, and unlocks it
M Sheep removes mayonnaise jar from briefcase and smashes it on table
M Sheep removes envelope from the wreckage and opens it

Jumpropeman: I knew millenials hated mayonnaise D:<
M Sheep dials in number within onto phone
M Sheep gives passcode "Cory is in the House"
M Sheep repeats passcode
M Sheep burns phone
M Sheep Meanwhile, a woman excuses herself from the tactics meeting to send an email to "Steve@Buscemi.com"
M Sheep A man then puts down his half eaten sandwich and hurries out his car
M Sheep he drives forty-eight minutes out into the countryside before coming across a farm.

Jumpropeman: man sheep sure is sending someone wild on knackplot
Draco: It's Knack himself. Sheep's finally RPing Knack.
M Sheep There is a brief, heated, but hushed discussion before and another man, the man who has been operating this farm for the last decade, visit the javelina pens.
Del on a Bus: I love this
M Sheep Standing before the huge, elderly javelina known officially as #682, but known in more hushed tones as "Project M", they stare into her jowly face, into her ruby jewel eyes, and she seems to smile at them with yellow tusks.
Blake Cuddler [Brando]: this is a very elaborate knack creepypasta
M Sheep Project M opens her mouth and the voice of legions pour and they ask in one voice woven out of the multitude a question.
M Sheep "What is your favorite flavor of pie?"
M Sheep the two men stand there for a moment, sweating, and then look between each-other a moment, before one stepped forward and said: "Uh."
M Sheep "WRONG ANSWER!"
M Sheep The man who spoke collapsed into a pile of approximately $12.50 of Jimmy Buffet CDs.
Draco: That's a lot of Jimmy Buffet CDs.
M Sheep Project M spoke once more and bellowed: "WHAT

M Sheep Goes on four legs in the morning
M Sheep Two in the afternoon
M Sheep and three in the evening?"

M Sheep The man just only stops himself from saying "OH! I know that one!" and then cleared his throat before saying "Man?"; his voice breaking with the sudden fear he'd be turned into a pile even more tasteless knicknacks.
M Sheep A side passage opened and the man stepped in to see a single, solitary sheep
M Sheep printed sweater a large, squid-like man was wearing.
M Sheep "Oh, urm, hello-" The man pushed past him to find a small woman in a dress whose hair covered her eyes, and he said: "Yo, you know you're still, like, a character right?"
M Sheep "Get in the truck, Ettie."

M Sheep: Anyway, I should maybe use Ettie, like, maybe one more time this year? She kind of disappeared after the Brawl.

---

Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: Who wants to hear a classic video game duck move
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: ...dick move
SteelKomodo: quack
Endless Del: i would like to hear duck hunt trivia
SteelKomodo: (me)
Bree: no, tell us about ducks
Jumpropeman: I quite like mario's duck
Jumpropeman: he puts his head between his legs and bends over
Jumpropeman: goes all in on that duck
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: Okay. So via Del I'm sure some of you have heard of Skeleton Warriors
Jumpropeman: the show that got things backwards
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: Anyway, it got one of the earliest Playstation games. It's interesting in the sense that if there is a perfectly generic game, it is it
Jumpropeman: who wants to watch boring fleshbags
M Sheep: I know I don't.
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: The only notable thing about it is that it had some music made by then (maybe now) big name in the video game "music as art" circle, Tommy Talaciro or something, I don't know his last name
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: And it is some good music, though it might be leaning too hard on the "I AM SO EPIC" front.
M Sheep: Tommy Wiseau?
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: No
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: Oh hai Sheep
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: How's your sax life?
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: Anyway, the game is playable but it doesn't have anything special about it
M Sheep: Get a room, Cw
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: A few notes before I get to my dick move
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: In the show, only evil people could become skeleton warriors
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: This made them nearly invincible
M Sheep: "A few notes before I get to my dick move."-Cornwind Evil, 2018
M Sheep: A beautiful sentence.
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: Virtually all attacks just shattered them and then they'd reform good as new
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: Because of course, in a Saturday morning cartoon, nothing could actually BREAK bones
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: There were only two ways to defeat a skeleton warrior. One was to remove its 'heartstone' concealed behind its sternum. If this happened, the skeleton became human again
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: The other was to utilize something that would completely destroy a skeleton. Like say, a flood of lava
Endless Del: the secret third one is to deprive them of calcium
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: You can guess what happened in the series finale
SteelKomodo: yep
ivel: the skeletons got an immunity to lava?
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: In the game, you attacked them and they broke, and then they dropped their heartstone. When you collected the heartstone, the bones exploded and they died.
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: So obviously this is an alternate universe where villain Baron Darhk was lazy in making his warriors
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: And no, Ivel, the final battle happened on a volcano and it killed off all the evil skeletons
ivel: darn
Endless Del: im still waiting on duck hunt trivia
SteelKomodo: ALL I NEED IS A DUCK
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: Also one stage started with a skeleton immediately launching a rocket at you. Like, the only way you could avoid it is know it's coming, or else you take a rocket to the face.
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: Anyway, the dick move
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: The most effective combat move in the game was the leaping downward sword slash
ivel: also I watched a Let's Play of Duck Season. Weird, neat stuff
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: Because if you hit it, you bounced back upward.
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: Hence the way you basically beat every enemy and boss was "sword bounce on their head until they died."
Endless Del: that reminds me of a lot of how i tried to beat shovel knight CW
Endless Del: guess what
Endless Del: doesn't work
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: So you've probably come to rely on this move a lot
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: And then you get to the final boss
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: Who explicitly has a move to STAB YOU OUT OF THE AIR IF YOU TRY AND SWORD BOUNCE HIM
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: Hence rendering the move useless
Jumpropeman: so the dick move
Jumpropeman: was improving the game design?
SteelKomodo: well a final boss should be a test of everything you've learned
SteelKomodo: a thing like that would definitely encourage players to try different strategies
SteelKomodo: then again i'm asking this of a skeleton warriors game
SteelKomodo: and also pissed that skeleton warriors got a game AND EXTREME DINOSAURS DIDN'T
Endless Del: yeah but the game didn't teach you to be careful with the sword bounce at any point
Endless Del: like if the game had said "hey some enemies are smart and will react to air attacks" at any point earlier
Endless Del: and been consistent with that
Endless Del: that would be an improvement
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: True, but as said, the only real effective move is the sword bounce, the rest are basically akin to Bugs Bunny's kick in the SNES game Rabbit Rampage, which was nearly useless because it had such a short range and enemies always had longer ranges
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: So if you moved in to kick someone, the enemy would punch you first because it could punch you from further away
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: Oh yeah and did I mention you fight the end boss at the end of a gauntlet where you have to fight all the previous bosses first?
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: Also you supposedly start the fight by fighting "Baron Darhk", ie Darhk's human form
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: But it's just a clone of you
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: So I wonder if the game devs were lazy
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: Or some information wires got crossed somewhere
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: Anyway, if you DO beat the Baron
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: You get a cutscene where you cut off his head
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: Grab the plot macguffin you came to get, the Lightstar crystal
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: Hold it up triumphantly
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: Game ends, roll credits
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: ....uh.....heartstone?
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: So I guess once the game faded to black Darhk got back up and killed your player character because he forgot how skeleton warriors died
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: Probably because he was so mad the sword bounce stopped working

---

Jumpropeman: it appears all my game systems were packed in the same box... except for the wii u
Jumpropeman: even the movers don't want to touch it
M Sheep: Wii U
M Sheep: More like
M Sheep: like
M Sheep reads card
M Sheep: Wii EW

---

Jumpropeman: meet Happy Piggy!
Jumpropeman: uncomfortably happy piggy
Gooper Blooper: Smug Piggy
Jumpropeman: saw your browser history before you cleared it piggy

---

Blake Cuddler [Brando]: beach bae
Blake Cuddler [Brando]: w/ ribbons
Jumpropeman: she looks sad
Blake Cuddler [Brando]: she's sad because gino's not there
Gooper Blooper: she doesn't know how to play that recorder she's holding
Gooper Blooper: or someone just told her the pile of gingerbread men behind her is off-limits
Gorgeous Randy Flamethrower: She was told Sine is remaking The Gingerdead Man and they are props
Blake Cuddler [Brando]: she put those there
Blake Cuddler [Brando]: they're stale

---

Bree: just texted my mom "are you going to bring home food" without typing a single letter, thanks autosuggest

---

Jumpropeman: I have received CKR's old tv
Jumpropeman: so now my room has three tvs
Jumpropeman: and I feel like I'm doing a math question
Jumpropeman: how do I hook up these games for maximum effectiveness
RubyChao: my room has one tv
RubyChao: but three things hooked into it
Gooper Blooper: Set up Yoshi on all three of them
Jumpropeman: you know
Gooper Blooper: playing three games of Yoshi at once might make it exciting
Jumpropeman: I could
Jumpropeman: I'd just need a physical copy and to buy it on the wii u shop
Jumpropeman: which
Jumpropeman: is like buying two piles of dirt to eat after you hated the first one
Gooper Blooper: "Get totally puzzled in an enthralling game of logic and precision thinking in Yoshi for Nintendo Entertainment System. This Tetris-inspired, action-packed puzzle puts a new spin on the classic Mario games. Maneuver Mario along the bottom of the screen to stack matching characters and prevent cluttering the game screen. Watch out and don't allow a line to grow to the top or the game has ended. Score bonus points by hatching Yoshi out of matched eggs. Bring in another player on the fun in two-player mode with a split screen that puts Mario and Luigi in a race against each other to be the top puzzle player."
Blake Cuddler [Brando]: HURK
Blake Cuddler [Brando]: time to die
Jumpropeman: "precision"
Gooper Blooper: "enthralling"
Bree: "enthralling"
Jumpropeman: I mentioned I fell asleep for a bit playing it and didn't lose right
Bree: ninjad
Blake Cuddler [Brando]: "fun"
Bree: what really
Gooper Blooper: "action-packed"
Gooper Blooper: "Bring in another player on the fun"
Blake Cuddler [Brando]: if ivel did this to me i would call off the wedding
Blake Cuddler [Brando]: and put him in the time out corner
Jumpropeman: just a short doze, like a minute, but still
Blake Cuddler [Brando]: i will have to wake you up
Blake Cuddler [Brando]: with kisses
Blake Cuddler [Brando]: if you fall asleep during CAH
Blake Cuddler [Brando]: :U
ivel: you'll fall asleep with me
MobileDraco: 💗
Blake Cuddler [Brando]: well, shit, he got me.
ivel: yes, I do got you
Gooper Blooper: awww
Blake Cuddler [Brando]: IVEL STOP BEING BUTTERY SMOOTH
Bree: ivel got you babe
Jumpropeman: I ship it
MobileDraco: It's like Sleeping Beauty, except Beauty ain't sleeping.

---

Blake Cuddler [Brando]: my cheesecake is here
Gooper Blooper: excellent
Gooper Blooper: midnight, the best time to deliver cheesecake
Blake Cuddler [Brando]: my bro got it for me
Blake Cuddler [Brando]: happened to be in the "treat yoself" mood
Blake Cuddler [Brando]: man that's some sweet cake
Jumpropeman: harpy: the fifth golden girl
Bree: jealous
MobileDraco: You can be MY fifth golden girl, Bree.
Bree: do you have cheesecake
MobileDraco: Do you WANT cheesecake, Bree?
Jumpropeman: is that a threat
MobileDraco: Maybe.



(a short time later)

Bree: I hope draco isn't doing something ridiculous like ordering me a cheesecake
MobileDraco: N-no
Gooper Blooper: Don't put it past him
Gooper Blooper: YOU SAID YES
Bree: I forgot that he had my address when I said yes :I
M Sheep: He's air dropping a cheesecake on Bree

---

Gooper Blooper: I'm gonna show you guys the PM Chao sent me when he saw who I decided to enter into DYM
Gooper Blooper: "SUMI SUMI SUMIRKEO SUMIREKO USAMIIIII SALAMI SUMI!!! SUMIIIII!!! i will GLADLY AND GREATLY use sumi!! Sumi. SUMI! I GET TO WRITE NERD"

---

Draco: Hmm. Should I post something I may not be able to finish this year?
Jumpropeman: you mean like a REALLY big hoagie?

---

Bree: del went to bed but y'know, I bet the kapaku (new DLC faction) and the morgawr hate each other
Bree: not that the morgawr don't hate all the other factions already in the game itself but
Bree: kapaku be like "volcanoes!" morgawr be like "ocean!"
Jumpropeknack: Team Magma and Team Aqua
Gooper Blooper: so when's groudon and kyogre
Gooper Blooper: dammit
ivel: I was about to say that too jrm
Bree: exactly
Black Witch: when's rayquaza

---

Gooper Blooper: Chuckster with the best contributions
Jumpropeknack: what about a level where a bunch of guys stand around and throw you instead
Gooper Blooper: And you have to figure out which way they should throw you
Gooper Blooper: IT'S A PUZZLE
Black Witch: that puzzle is suffering.
Draco: The Flickster: a pine tree looking guy who flicks you in whatever direction he thinks you told him to go.

---

Draco: link

---

Draco: "Aren't we all related to the Omnimom?" <- Sorry, Beach Episode. There's an even bigger religion brewing.
Black Witch: battle of gods
ivel: Super Omnimom God?
Bree: hail omnimom
Bree: the three traits of omnimom
Bree: momnipotent - higher than omnipotent, it's the ancient primal power that all moms tap into when their child is in danger
Bree: momniscient - the ability of moms to always, ALWAYS know no matter how hard you try to lie or keep a secret from them
Bree: they will Know
Bree: momnibenevolent - there is no greater love than the omnimom's love
Black Witch: MAGIC, with her hand halfway into the cookie jar, immediately takes it out and scrams
Gooper Blooper: Celestia ascends to godbeast
Gooper Blooper: after adopting her 100th child
Draco: "But I'm already your daughter," Ariel claims. The liar.
Black Witch: that sounds like an advertisement you'd find on a Kobber-related website
iKomodo: but does she keep the booty
Black Witch: "you are the 100th daughter adopted by Celestia today! click here for your prize!"
Bree: no, she gains
Bree: the omnibooty
Black Witch: EXTRA
Black Witch: THICC
Bree: it's the booty from which all other booties are descended
Black Witch: well that's awkward :U
Black Witch: ariel lacks the booty

---

Black Witch: *stares*
Black Witch: *hides horribly tragic backstories of my characters away from everyone*
Black Witch: "hey i like stacy" "thanks she turned into a ba'al"
MobileDraco: D;
ivel: I knew nobody could make food THAT good naturally
Black Witch: ivel no
Black Witch: i can't turn my chars into ba'als to make them godlike cooks
Black Witch: that's depressing
Black Witch: "hey i like brandon" "thanks he has depression and anxiety"
MobileDraco: "Hey, I like Dia." "Thanks, she's marrying Gino." "Yay. :3"
Jumpropeknack: "Hey, I hate Knack" "Thanks he... oh."
Black Witch: "hey, i like dolby" "thanks, she's got a fake disease that makes her weak around new technology and she was made by a shitty mom."
MobileDraco: "Hey, I like Deb." "Liar."
Black Witch: sorry for lying
Black Witch: I mean
Black Witch: HEY, I LOVE DEB
RubyChao: "Hey, I like Miu" "thanks she was emotionally abused as a kid"
RubyChao: alternatively
RubyChao: "Hey, I like Jackal!" "thanks he will accomplish nothing, ever"
MobileDraco: "Hey, I like DeMonde." "Thanks, she's a single mom with a special daughter who tries hard every day to graft scorpion tails to mutants."
Black Witch: "hey, i like starla" "thanks but i hardly gave her much of a character"
ivel: "Hey, I like Starla." "Who?"
MobileDraco: lol

---

Jumpropeknack: imagine if pornhub faded to black

---

Jumpropeknack: "In a interview Sakurai was disappointed that he had to censor panties and palutena"
Jumpropeknack: Sakurai wanted his waifu sexier is all
Jumpropeknack: why you gotta hate ratings board
Gooper Blooper: sakurai pls
Draco: Ratings Board pls

---

Gooper Blooper: JRM needs to be Jumpropeknack again
Jumpropeman changed name to Jumpropeknack
Gooper Blooper: thank you
Jumpropeknack: sorry
Jumpropeknack: as penance, I will loop Little Willy til the end of plot
Gooper Blooper: XD

(later)

Jumpropeknack: Knack 3: Knack to the Past
Jumpropeknack: Knack 3: Knack Attack
skellivel: Samurai Knack
skellivel: gotta get Knack, Knack to the Past Samurai Knack
Jumpropeknack: Knack 3: Knick Knack Patty Whack
Jumpropeknack: Knack 3: Please God Buy Our Game
Gooper Blooper: XD
Blep Cat: knack 3:
Blep Cat: n-now with
Draco: Knack 3: There's A Knack 1 and 2?!
Blep Cat: m-sheep's
Blep Cat: plot warehouse
Jumpropeknack: The Mother was actually through the window in Knack 2 I couldn't go through
Blep Cat: The Mother is behind the glitches
Blep Cat: you go too far and you start to see the stories that never end
Jumpropeknack: curious, I checked the Knack 2 message board on gamefaqs
Jumpropeknack: where all the recent topics are about the glitches :V

---

Blep Cat: Rifa and Kirby best buddies
Blep Cat: ...no wait
Blep Cat: Rifa and Fairy Queen best buddies
Blep Cat: ...don't ask why I like Fairy Queen
Gooper Blooper: they look a lot alike
Blep Cat: i like Fairy Queen a lot.
Blep Cat: "my god so cut- OH GOD SHE'S GIVING ME THE EVIL EYE WHAT IS SHE GONNA DO TO RIBBON"
ivel: I prefer Dairy Queen
Gooper Blooper: I probably wasn't going to use her, but Fairy Queen is in my 2019 folder
Blep Cat: *grabs Goops*
Blep Cat: *SUPLEX*
Blep Cat: mine
Gooper Blooper: She's all yours :V
Blep Cat: YET ANOTHER ADDITION TO THE NERD CREW-
Blep Cat: th-the Planeswardens?
Blep Cat: yeah planeswardens

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Gooper Blooper: https://i.imgur.com/Gw2xHiR.jpg
RubyChao: I N F I N I T E S U M I R E K O

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Bree: picturing phoenix mad at being rekt by black shadow again but also low key relieved black shadow didn't think him worth killing this time
but also mad about it like
"bitch doesn't think I'm a threat???"
"I'm his fuckin rival???"
black shadow rollin out like "for me it was tuesday"
"h8ers gonna h8"
it's called dark million u think I'm keepin track biatch?
black shadow is now a gangsta my new headcanon
Bree: chao replied "just add a gold chain and it fits"

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Blep Cat: >opens bag of googly eyes
Blep Cat: OH GOD THEY'RE EVERYWHERE