Chatzy Madness Volume 368: Somebooioop Once Told Me

Jumpropeman: new desktop wallpaper y/n
Draco: Fred dabbing or the screenshot?
Bree: new forum avatar
Jumpropeman: the screenshot
Jumpropeman: it would be cruel to pick just one
Draco: Answer: yes.
Jumpropeman: I appreciate that wilma is the only one dabbing in a different direction
Draco: Til dab do they part.
Jumpropeman: I can't post a screenshot of my desktop because it's spoiler city
Jumpropeman: the spoiler being that dabbing Fred Flintstone is the secret boss of the Salvagers
Bree: you keep spoilers on your desktop?
Bree: I keep my spoilers in my chao
Bree: I said, making a joke and hoping that chao gets the joke
RubyChao: i can confirm i am a Spoiler Storage Unit
Jumpropeman: I bet chao keeps open tabs for his spoiler storage
Draco: Yeah, Chao asks me for plot spoilers sometimes, like how Yohane is going to use a TE pill to destroy Don Karnage or how Sanae is going to fist fight the moon.
RubyChao: i don't
RubyChao: that eats memory
RubyChao: i use notepad files
Bree: chao keeps open tabs because he believes all tabs should be open
Bree: he's a staunch activist for free-range tabs
Draco: Does he yodel to get more tabs?
RubyChao: not that you know of
Bree: no, his parents asked him not to
RubyChao: that's illegal, after all
Bree: he lures the tabs with free books
Draco: Gasp!
Bree: yeah he's caught like eleven tabs of patchouli fanart
Bree: the bait's really effective on 'em

---

Draco: I found this trying to find something more sinister but I want to find a use for it in RP.

---

Magnified Sheep screaming into the night as he tries to make the planets converge and create a plot event

---

pizza o’ clock: I don’t think I have a salvager character
Ghengis Jenga: It's chick and stew isn't it sk :U
pizza o’ clock: FAKE NEWS
Gooper Blooper: No no
Gooper Blooper: It's only ONE of them
Gooper Blooper: for drama
RubyChao: i've got it
RubyChao: Chick is a Salvager
RubyChao: but Stew
RubyChao: is Dark Matter
Draco: My Salvager is Claire, because Clownpiece is keeping her.
Gooper Blooper: Stew is just Chick's Dark Star counterpart

Chatzy Madness Volume 367: BLA STO

Marten Sheep: how do I keep from entering Motormer into a race he might actually do well in...
Marten Sheep enters Basu on foot
Marten Sheep: perfect

---

Season1Draco: Read Chatzy Madness, tempted to try writing some rhyming dirty talk for Big Bobby and Panty later.
SteelKomodo: DRACO PLS
Del: i forbid
Del: veto
Del: veto!!!
Season1Draco: Veto the veto? Okay.

---

Must Sheep: "Marten Sheep: "Jumpropeman: you know what stinks"
Marten Sheep: boiled cabbage"
Must Sheep: This was not worth being in a Chatzy Madness
Must Sheep: I demand better jokes
Must Sheep: From me :I
ANCHOR SHOT: Sheep telling himself to git gud

---

Must Sheep: "Something almost seemed to...inhale."
Must Sheep: FREDDY HELP!
Del: let me guess
Del: you want me
Del: to go find your fucking head
Cornwind Evil: "no i know where it is the lord shoved it up your fucking ass."
Must Sheep: FREDDY!
Cornwind Evil: "no he did-"
Cornwind Evil: -The Lord shoves Bonnie's head up Freddy's ass-

---

Jumpropeman: new drink for the bar menu
Ghengis Jenga: Oh no
Ghengis Jenga: Airport Juice
Jumpropeman: you were so caught up in what you were doing you forgot all about it

Assembly

-ZFPD BUILDING-

Donuts were the finest food to ever be invented. On this, Officer Patricia Wagon was absolutely certain. She didn't care if cops and donuts was a stereotype - they were delicious, dammit, and nothing would keep her from her daily donut. But as she finished eating her treat and washed it down with a sip of black coffee, her eyes drifted over her mug to the girl sitting across from her nibbling worriedly on a toaster pastry with one hand while scanning the Hoku Lewa Times newspaper she clutched in her other hand. The girl looked like an overwound toy, ready to snap if the slightest thing went wrong... even though so far things had been smooth sailing.

Of course, Patty suspected she knew why.

"Are you going to be ready for this?"

"AAAGH!" Denise Marmalade flung her newspaper into the air in a panic, though she miraculously didn't throw her pop-tart. "What?! Now?! OKAY!" She opened her mouth wide-

"Wait, wait, hold on-"

Denise promptly shoved the entire rest of her pop-tart into her mouth, and promptly began choking on it. Patty groaned, put down her coffee, and slipped behind her coworker for the Heimlich maneuver. Once the artificial incident was over with, Patty spun Denise around and put her hands firmly on her shoulders.

"You're too tense, Denise. You need to calm down."

"B-but the kobbers are coming! They're coming in less than ten days! Some of them are already HERE!"

"I know. And there will be incidents, and there will be trouble, and there will be stress. I get it. But you have to take it easy and not act like it's the end of the world. This happens every year! I've read all about it, Browny's told me stories, it's crazy compared to other places but here it's nothing new. So just try and take it one day at a time, alright?"

"A... a-alright. Thanks, Officer Wagon."

"Please. We're coworkers!" Patricia patted Denise on the shoulder and gave her a friendly smile. "Call me Patty."

Kuwahawi, Here We Come!

Come along and ride on a fantastic voyage...

Dolby smiled and bobbed her head, listening to her tunes as she looked carefully around her room one last time to make absolutely sure she wasn't forgetting anything important. Not only did she have three big suitcases packed with personal items, but she was using herself as suitcase number four, having shoved all the nostalgia into her body she could comfortably carry. Perusing her depleted rack of cassette tapes one more time, she opted to grab one last blank tape and cram it into her mouth to join the rest.

"Dolby, it is time to depart." Odyssey droned from behind her. He carried only a single small case of items - his arcade machines were being shipped to Kuwahawi Island separately.

"Yeah, I think I'm set." Dolby nodded, smiling at her friend and turning her music down. "I still can't believe you're coming to Kuwahawi. I really thought I'd be the only Nostalgia Elemental to follow the Kobbers."

"Las Vegas is my home, and I will miss it. And when this is over, I will enjoy being back home." Odyssey's pupils flicked back and forth, looking at the ransacked state of Dolby's room as she had taken tons of her personal belongings and packed them up. "But I believe your desire to see more of the world is not without merit, and the opportunity to introduce these natives to arcade gaming is one I do not wish to miss. It shall be a worthwhile endeavor."

"Man, this place is gonna feel empty with you two gone."

Dolby and Odyssey turned to see Zenith, Sinclair, and Noir standing in the hallway, crowded around the entrance to Dolby's room. It had been Sinclair who had spoken, and he lowered his camera-like head. "We'll miss you."

"Come back safe, all right?" Zenith said, stepping in close. "I'll keep these two in line in the meantime."

"And when you get back," Noir piped up, "we can throw ourselves a little shindig!"

Zenith chuckles. "Sounds like a plan. In the meantime, have fun. We'll make sure to keep you in mind with music and games while you're gone."

Dolby grinned and hugged Zenith. "Thanks! Don't worry - we might get scuffed up a bit-"

"Might?" Sinclair laughed. "It's the kobbers! And you even said you want to fight in that Brawl they do every summer!"

"Hah, yeah! So we WILL get scuffed up. And probably worse. But we'll come back in one piece, just you wait and see!"

Odyssey began to move to the hall. "I shall miss you all as well. When you next see me, I shall have made arcade history."

Dolby followed Odyssey, and Sinclair came after them - it was he who would drive them to the airport. And as the waving Zenith and Noir vanished in the rear-view mirror and Odyssey and Sinclair made small talk, Dolby held up her smartphone and stared at her wallpaper, depicting her and her two best friends. Soon, she would finally see them again.

Chatzy Madness Volume 231: The 'Bob

Del: so wulf and i had an argument about space jam
Del: and it actually made me go look up some basketball terminology and the positions and stuff
Del: this was combined with an episode of the We Hate Movies podcast which was on space jam, where they talk about what the ideal looney tunes/space jam basketball team should be
Del: i think too hard about things!
Del: anyway allow me to present my findings
RubyChao: did you know
RubyChao: it took me literally years to learn space jam has something after the credits
Del: oh yeah it does
Del: it's in the worst place for it to be
Del: anyway
Del: so the line up in the movie is taz as center (although it doesn't say but it's the only position left so yeah), lola as small forward, daffy as power forward, bugs as point guard, and michael as their coach
Del: this is a pretty bad starting line up if you disregard the fact that they're cartoons and can do anything so
Del: shit im wrong, jordan's their shooting guard i think?
Del: which is his role in actual basketball so
Del: that's like the only correct thing about the team
Del: here's who you want
SteelKomodo: oh lawdy
Del: so center is meant to be beefy and big and defensive and they get really tall players to do it
Del: since none of the looney tunes are really tall you want foghorn leghorn
Del: hes big and beefy he's gonna be bouncing everybody
Del: also, he's southern
Del: so king of racist trash talk
Del: get that psychological edge yo
SteelKomodo: lolz
Del: your power forward is meant to set up plays and be quick and get all over the court
SteelKomodo: well i've watched a bit of the Looney Tunes show, and Foghorn in that is taller than even Bugs
SteelKomodo: so yeah, makes sense
Del: daffy's a slow shitheel, get wile e coyote in there
Del: he's got determination, he's scrappy
Del: he's versatile
Del: you want that
Del: point guard needs to not only direct the play but also be the best ball handler and be able to coach in the field
Del: if jordan wasn't their shooting guard i'd say use him
Del: but you can offload the directing and coaching to him
Del: and use fucking road runner
Del: how are you not using road runner
Del: he's literally the fastest you put him here
Del: and then bugs is the small forward because he's quick, he's jordan's equal essentially, and also he can piss people off and try and get them to foul him
SteelKomodo: so lemme round this up
SteelKomodo: Foghorn, Will. E, Road Runner and Bugs?
Del: you could swap bugs out for taz actually
SteelKomodo: i notice you didn't touch Taz- oh
Del: taz is probably the more aggressive option
Del: but you want someone with a cool head in a match with the stakes that space jam has got
Del: taz is gonna lose it at some point and it's not an if, it's when
Del: bugs can keep it together
Del: i mean the alternative is fuck positions, you're cartoons, just wire up some explosions and stuff
SteelKomodo: which is clearly what happened at the climax :U
Del: conversely, don't let elmer fudd, yosemite sam, porky or tweety near the court, they're useless
Del: like tweety is smaller than the ball wtf
Del: anyway
Del: you may resume your scheduled programming
SteelKomodo: man, i can't believe you seriously thought this over
SteelKomodo: like, jeez man, that's a lot of thought over a shitty basketball movie :P
Del: well the alternative is to think about everything else that's wrong with the movie
Del: it's a defense mechanism
SteelKomodo: oh ok lol
harpiano: well it was made to distract kids, who are not the best at critical thinking at that particular point in life
Draco: So wait people still talk about Space Jam?
harpiano: apparently so?
Draco: Sweet.
Del: the space jam website still exists
Del: also harpy's right
Del: it's an advertisement for Michael Jordan and basketball
SteelKomodo: holy shit this is 90's as all hell
SteelKomodo: i feel like i've gone back in time
SteelKomodo: and it's as slow to load as it was in the 90's!
Del: "daffy eat the eggs"

Chatzy Madness Volume 229: Lunchables Wiki

RubyChao: >​find cool halloween collab for all the touhous ever
RubyChao: >​somehow they completely forgot utsuho, to the point where i checked their list of characters and it goes right from Rin to Koishi
RubyChao: me right now
RubyChao: (also aya was dressed as pit and if only it had been utsuho, dammit)
SteelKomodo: lel
SteelKomodo: all the lel
Redspycameo: LEL in a CELL
Redspycameo: The all vampire VEW PPV
SteelKomodo: hahaha

---

A Weapon To Surpass Metal Gear: *starts round of Isaac*
A Weapon To Surpass Metal Gear: *boss 1 is Rag Man, who has homing shots and constantly-reviving mooks*
A Weapon To Surpass Metal Gear: Ed why do you hate me
A Weapon To Surpass Metal Gear: Why did you ever think this was a good idea

---

(Nora, a Season 5 antagonist who was spared, is killed by her superior, who is revealed to be Alocyn, a minor antagonist from Season 3)

Gooper Blooper: *starts reading brine post*
Gooper Blooper: oh dear
A Weapon To Surpass Metal Gear: Yessss Brineplot
Gooper Blooper: Really impressed that Season 3 stuff is coming back, Alocyn and Aevar's stuff was similar to Julius in that we got a brief glimpse but there was clearly a lot more that could be done
Brinehammer: Hey guys. Who's ready to punch Alocyn in the face.... next year?!
Gooper Blooper: next yearrrrrrrrr
Gooper Blooper: she's had it coming for quite a while
Brinehammer: Whole centuries!
A Weapon To Surpass Metal Gear: punching people who deserve it is like half of Undyne's hobbies!
Brinehammer: I have a bunch of plans for one-off battles, fights, quests, all the usual... ​Plus, like Aevar, Alocyn can keep coming back from the dead until she can't, so instead of just laughing evilly behind some walls or whatever, there'll be plenty of chances to wreck her shit/have her wreck shit.​
A Weapon To Surpass Metal Gear: ​Yessss
Gooper Blooper: srspost
RubyChao: ​oh god, rip nora
RubyChao: ​ASH DID IT ALL FOR NOTHING
Gooper Blooper: ​get dunked on, ash
Brinehammer: ​I... yeah, I didn't want to rain on his parade, but the second Nora escaped from Earth she was a dead woman. That's also why Ton never said goodbye to Mary- they tried to leave as fast as they possibly could.​
RubyChao: ​at least Ton and Roger are still alive, i hope they show next year... as more than corpses
Gooper Blooper: On the flipside, FV will probably throw a dang party :V
RubyChao: kek
RubyChao: chanting "DING DONG, ​NORA IS DEAD​"
Brinehammer: ​They weren't going to- Koplot really was supposed to just be one season and then over/done with- but now? They loved Nora, and Alocyn killed her. They're definitely coming back for revenge.​
RubyChao: ​awww yeah
Gooper Blooper: ​Confirming that Mary will be back next year, in completely unrelated news
Gooper Blooper: ​another six months of energy drinks and sameface awaits you
RubyChao: ​reminder that nobody realized mary was KOed due to sameface
iKomodo: ​Ash needs to git gud
Gooper Blooper: ​He did. How do you think Christine got pregnant?
Gooper Blooper pushed down stairs

Character Musings: Dangerously Genre Savvy

The Sarahkin weren't always my "signature" characters. In the first two seasons of RP, they shared this distinction with another character - the one responsible for this blog's name and logo, Widow Maker the giant praying mantis.

Wids was born in 2010. Major Failure was taking time off from the final battles of Zoofights in order to get married and go on a honeymoon. To help fill the gap, people began holding mini-Zoofights with underpowered Zoofights rejects. I recall "Vuvuzebra" in particular, a zebra with a vuvuzela for a mouth. Just beautiful. Anyway, I wanted to join in, so I submitted some crude sketches and character profiles for two quasi-Zoofighters that would go at it while the Major was away.

When trying to think of monsters, I considered animals Major Failure had never used. The first one to come to mind was a marlin. From this, Marlin the Magnificent was created. Marlin had drills in place of his front fins, a jetpack on his back, and a reinforced snout to make for a devastating battering ram.

For Marlin's opponent, I went with one of my favorite animals, which had never been used in Zoofights - a praying mantis. I made the mantis female, as female mantids are known for being bigger and stronger than males. She received nails on her claws, an invisibility cloak, and a rear-mounted gun that shot black widow spiders. The resulting creature was named Widow Maker and given high intelligence but low defense.

Voting was a landslide in favor of Widow Maker, but Marlin kept it reasonably close when someone drew fanart of him. I ran the tractor upon voting's end and Widow Maker was the winner. The resulting fight was crudely illustrated but pretty good in terms of action, I felt, and ended with Widow Maker decapitating Marlin and piloting his corpse into Ourobouros, the tournament's villain, in order to make her escape.

The following April, Widow Maker resurfaced for the final Zoofights tournament. Initially wearing a cloak to hide her identity for a big reveal right before the tournament began, Widow Maker was a rare sight in the bar early on. I wasn't too comfortable with roleplaying yet, so she spent her time on the sidelines and was very heavily focused on discussing the tournament and the fighters, hanging around The Betting Corner and lamenting her luck as one monster after another lost after she bet on them.

Then ONE VOTE happened (see Sarah's Character Musings for details), and Widow Maker began making more frequent appearances after her release from the hospital. After the Big Bar Brawl, when roleplaying began to truly take off on the forum, Widow Maker became a fixture of the place and one of the most common sights. She was also a baby.

You see, for the first Big Bar Brawl, Widow Maker entered with a weapon given to her by Sine, who felt that Widow Maker could channel her frustration over never winning a bet into an arena win for herself. The weapon, a swordlike thing from the Devil May Cry series, seemed "off", and I decided this meant it contained dark energies. Jumpropeman, in the BBB1 preshow, expanded even further on this and made the weapon outright hostile. After Widow Maker began attacking with it during the Brawl, it began possessing her, and halfway through the fight Widow Maker went on a killing spree and allowed the darkness to consume her completely, becoming a towering nightmare I named "Widow Colossus". Widow Colossus became the first ever Big Bar Brawl godbeast, adapting a long-standing tradition from Zoofights. Fortunately for the Brawl, Alex was able to put Widow Colossus down.

Now for the weirdest part. When Widow Colossus was destroyed, emerging from the remains was a little baby Widow Maker. I adapted this into Widow Maker's abilities - when she is killed, she respawns, but she doesn't come back as her usual self - she comes back as a baby. To return to normal, she had to "gain experience" - either through winning Zoofights bets or winning RP fights. After enough victories, she was restored to an adult body, this time without any nails in her claws or guns stuck to her butt, leaving her a mostly-natural giant mantis.

Baby Widow Maker has all of Widow Maker's intelligence but very little combat ability, and she also cannot fly. In later seasons Babby Wids was something of an inconvenience, but in the very dialogue-heavy Season 1 she had lots to do no matter her current size, and she wound up returning to baby form a second time later in the season.

Wids' most famous trait is her genre-savviness. She seems to be aware she is in a roleplaying forum, or at least is really good at recognizing cliches, tropes, and stereotypes. Any antagonist that acts too stereotypical around Widow Maker is sure to get interrupted and shut down. Wids sometimes seems utterly fearless, and very little fazes her. But that wouldn't be true all of the time...

Widow Maker, despite being a very important character in the first season, never had a proper plot of her own. She almost got one when Marlin the Magnificent returned, given a new head and new weapons by World Creature Wars, but that plotline was scuttled when Cornwind started a new, significantly bigger-in-scope plot on the same night. Widow Maker managed to get "New Marlinnium", as he was now called, on her side to help fight the greater menace, who wound up permakilling New Marlinnium by disintegrating him. Marlinnium later made a handful of cameos in the underworld.

So anyway, since Wids never got a plot, my plan for Season 2 was to craft a large one for her. I decided I wanted the normally stoic Wids to feel fear, and the best way to get her to fear an enemy was by making it personal. I introduced Dr. Bulgrave, a mad scientist who was one of the people responsible for creating Widow Maker in the first place and subjecting her to the horrors of a Zoofights tournament. I'll go into detail on Bulgrave more another time, hopefully, but suffice it to say that merely seeing him triggered traumatic flashbacks in Widow Maker, forcing her to lean on others for help.

After Season 2, Widow Maker mostly vanished from view, but she made returns in seasons 3 and 4. In Season 3, she reappeared for one more crack at the Big Bar Brawl, and in Season 4, she returned as Gloria's "secret weapon" after an overwhelming influx of plots forced Gloria to take a break and return to Manhattan for a week or two.

Widow Maker began life as one of the Zoofights "talking head"-type characters, used pretty much as an avatar to let me discuss Zoofights in-universe. But with the help of the RP Explosion, she became her own character, making friends, going on adventures, and developing a following - and becoming quite fun to RP, especially when there's a logical misstep or cocksure villain for her to tear into. Her returns are always met with positivity, and as Harpy once said, "Nobody keeps it real like Widow Maker". I'm always very happy when a character is a success!

Widow Maker is set to return in a limited role once again in Season 5, this time because of one of the Neo Kobbers - Spitfire, another giant mantis. Widow Maker and Spitfire have been planned to meet since 2013, and at long last the two of them will go head to head in Las Vegas.

Chatzy Madness Volume 118: Mo' Pairings, Mo' Problems

SteelKomodo: um
SteelKomodo: i'm playing with the correlation diagram thing again
Harp: why
SteelKomodo: help D:
SteelKomodo: i don't know
Harp: stahp
RubyChao: oh god sk
RubyChao: what horrors have you unleashed
SteelKomodo: well I got this
SteelKomodo: (this will not affect RP at all I swear)

---

Deld Away: oh boy homestuck music
Deld Away: you guys really are a buncha nerds
Deld Away is screaming at the kettle

---

Cornwind Evil: My god, the metaphor in Animal Farm is so thick I'm becoming dumber.
Gooper Blooper: two legs better

---

Saberwulf: this is the fucking coolest thing
SteelKomodo: that's weird as hell D:
Del, Marine in the City: ART(?)
Saberwulf: ART(!)
Del, Marine in the City: ART(?!?!)
Harp: biology(.)
SteelKomodo: Animation(!!!)

Chatzy Madness Volume 117: Cenamazing

M Sheep: Like, oh hey, a robot that orders coffee, that's funny because robots and no actual way to drink it, right?
Gooper Blooper: not with sheep around it's not
M Sheep: No, turns out, that's mildly concerning, and EYE WIRES AND EXISTENTIALISM
Gooper Blooper: In truth, Sheep, you do comedy excellently, it's just it never stays comedy
Gooper Blooper: Purnima is hilarious when she's not dangerously unhinged or being so depressed and sad you want to hug her
RubyChao: exactly!
M Sheep: Well, how about anime sparkles, that's a funny trope!
RubyChao: jack was funny until it turned out the reason he didn't act like a robot was terrifying
M Sheep: and then Purnima happened
M Sheep: I'm literally the Riddler in that one story where he tries to go clean and then finds out he can't stop leaving clues
Gooper Blooper: you can only go clean when Sheeplot ends
Draco: Sheep, make DnD4 Purnima so you and I can form an adventure team to rival Harpy, Cornwind, and Del. BU
Gooper Blooper: it's like the old cop getting dragged back for one last case, except it's the same case every time
M Sheep: THIS. YEAR.
M Sheep: Totally going to happen you guys
Gooper Blooper: "found some more files on the old sheep case" "just when I thought I was out that bastard pulls me back in"
lel: M sheep I believe in you
Gooper Blooper: \o/

---

he bigger boo: Guy just scarfed my Espeon
the bigger boo: Then switched in a Dragon while it used nothing but Fairy-type moves
the bigger boo: I think that's the opposite of what you wanted to do guy D:
Del: lol
SteelKomodo: lolz
the bigger boo: . . . Aaaaaand another guy disconnects
the bigger boo: When he tries to Earthquake my Solrock
the bigger boo: With his Lunatone
SteelKomodo: wtf
the bigger boo: You know, the near-identical Pokemon that both have Levitate
the bigger boo: At least Solid Solrock prevails over Liquid once again
SteelKomodo: lolz
Del: solid solrock
Del: liquid lunatone
Del: revolver ohsawott
Del: vulcan murkrow, psycho mantine
SteelKomodo: ekans dilos
Del: decoy octillery
Del: solid snivy
SteelKomodo: yissss

Thanksgiving 2013: The Day Celestia Intensified

Chatsephine joined the chat
Chatsephine: Glurrrrrrrg.
CleverMantis: Evening, sunshine. Whaddya thankful for?
Chatsephine: I'm thankful for antacid
CleverMantis: hahahahaha
Chatsephine: If you think Mom went all-out LAST year, that's nothing compared to the effort she put in now that the whole family is back together
Chatsephine: An endless sea of potatoes
Chatsephine: There's no way turkeys can naturally reach that size
CleverMantis: Sounds like a hell of a time. Too bad I couldn't be there.
CleverMantis: What's everyone else thankful for over there? I'm curious.
Chatsephine: Gloria's thankful she doesn't have any jeans in her wardrobe
Chatsephine: Ariel's thankful she's not a vegetarian
Chatsephine: Sarah's thankful for Alex again
Chatsephine: Mom is, of course, thankful for our family's good health. Dad is thankful for all of us.
Chatsephine: This is a wild shot in the dark, but I think Skeiron's thankful for loaves of bread.
CleverMantis: Are you thankful for Dirk? Eh?
CleverMantis nudges Josephine across the Internet
CleverMantis: Eh?
CleverMantis: Eh?
Chatsephine: Yes, yes, I'm grateful for dirky okay
CleverMantis: >dirky
Chatsephine: YES I KNOW
CleverMantis: hahahahahaha
CleverMantis: I love it.

This Is Canon: Miscellaneous RP Fun Facts

This post contains various little details and things I've thought of concerning my RP characters that never (or almost never) came up in day-to-day roleplaying. Some of it has been stated in Chatzy before, but this post serves as a more permanent place. There's also some Cutting Room Floor-esque behind-the-scenes stuff.

Widow Maker's Game Room 5: Robot Legions

"And we're back! It's been a while, but I'm here with another game review. Today we're going to be delving into the fascinating world of Xbox Live Indie Games. It has a reputation for being a terrible service full of short, lame, copycat bugfests, but any platform with this few barriers for entry is going to require some sifting to get to the good stuff. First up from the indies is Robot Legions. With me today as my special guest is Celestia Canicco, mother of a thousand roleplay characters."

"So this is that Xbox 360 all the kids are playing these days? Where's the cartridge slot?"
"It uses discs."
"Ohhh!"
"How you can be such a whiz at robotics and yet such a dullard at modern trends is beyond me."

Widow Maker's Game Room 4: Growl

"Denizens of the web! I'm Widow Maker, this here is my special guest Ariel Sierra, and today we're reviewing Growl for the Sega Genesis."

"So when do I get to plug my new campaign?"

"Later."

"Aw."

Widow Maker's Game Room 3: A Week of Garfield

"So, who's up for a video game? I sure am. With me today is a new special guest - my morality pet and close friend, the marshmallow with the most, Sarah Triden!"

"Hi, everyone! Widow Maker, what game are we playing?"

"We're going to be looking at A Week of Garfield for the NES."

"I love Garfield!"

"I know you do, that's why I invited you! I'll let you take the helm for our first play."

"Yayyyy!"

Widow Maker's Game Room 2: Rolan's Curse

"It's time for another trip to the Game Room with your favorite giant mantis, and today I'm not alone. For this and all subsequent reviews I'll be inviting a special guest to join me. Today's guest is Josephine Bouteille of Sarahkin fame. Say hi, Josephine."

"Um, hello."

"That's the spirit.

We're going to be reviewing Rolan's Curse, an ancient Game Boy cartridge crafted by Sammy in 1990."

"Rolan... Why does that name sound familiar?"

"Doesn't ring a bell with me."

"Weird. Oh well. So uh, who's the 'Rolan' in Rolan's Curse?"

"It's the name of the country the game takes place in. It's been cursed by Barius, a demon king. Cliche as hell."

"Cliche for you, very realistic for me."

"Mysidia got this a lot?"

"Oh yeah. Bozo knights and dragons every other week. Most of them didn't get far."

Widow Maker's Game Room 1: Golden 20-in-1

 "The video game industry is in an odd phase. Some think there might be another video game crash. 'There's too many sequels,' people say. Or 'The big companies are suffocating the little guys' or 'The game prices are too damn high!'

Personally, I think modern controllers use entirely too many buttons. Not that I enjoy that waggle nonsense either.

My point is, why whine about the present when there's about sixty billion video games available from the past? I'm here in my personal Game Room - the largest room of my humble Florida home - and I've got myself surrounded by cartridges from all sorts of crusty old systems nobody gives a damn about these days. Join me as I dig through the pile in search for what every gamer desires: a game that isn't shit.

And by the way: We'll be focusing on more obscure titles. Nobody wants to read about fucking Super Mario Brothers 3 again.

Today's game is... lessee here... Howsabout 'Golden 20-In-1"? Hot damn, twenty games in one! That's one way to get this thing started on the right foot.

What Have I Become, Act II

Consider, if you will, a most interesting set of circumstances.

Two summers ago I roleplayed as a female character from the world of Final Fantasy. Another user's character took interest in mine, and eventually confessed their feelings. This character was a young idiot-hair-donning male with fair ability in both physical combat and magic. He was a friendly sort, and liked to eat stupid amounts of food. His design was based on his appearance in a video game that came out one decade after the one our setting took place in. Due to my characters interacting with this character so frequently, I grew to strongly like the character and enjoyed his appearances, and he became my favorite character in the user's roster.

I had been interested in the character's most prominent video game for a while, but it was Zoofights RP that led me to eventually make the purchase with my Christmas money. Because RP ruins everything, but it also makes you want to try new things.

Fast forward one year.

Last summer I roleplayed as a female character from the world of Final Fantasy. Another user's character took interest in mine, and eventually confessed their feelings. This character was a young idiot-hair-donning male with fair ability in both physical combat and magic. He was a friendly sort, and liked to eat stupid amounts of food. His design was based on his appearance in a video game that came out one decade after the one our setting took place in. Due to my characters interacting with this character so frequently, I grew to strongly like the character and enjoyed his appearances, and he became my favorite character in the user's roster.

I had been interested in the character's most prominent video game for a while, but it was Zoofights RP that led me to eventually make the purchase with my Christmas money. Because RP ruins everything, but it also makes you want to try new things.

"What is it?"
"Aside from being a 3DS game? I dunno. Help me flip it over."

"OH MY GOSH IS THAT-"
"Well, well, well. Look who's finally back in the business."
"Ooh, I should tell Mom about this! She'll be so happy for him!"
"In what way~?"
"WIDOW MAKER STOP THAT"
"Hahahahahahahaha-"

Chatzy Madness Volume 33: Ozonic the Freshener

SteelKomodo: I've been pronouncing Dr. Seuss wrong all this time
SteelKomodo: apparently, it's German, so it rhymes with "voice"
SteelKomodo: but that sounds too weird for me, like the noise a character in a YouTube Poop might make
Saberwulf: Soyss
SteelKomodo: yes, like that
Saberwulf: "For tha last time, Scorp—I don't want any a'ya Soyss Boygas!"
Saberwulf: All I can think of is Joe
SteelKomodo: XD
RedSpy: SOYSS SOYSS SOYS
Saberwulf: Soysslent Green

---

TheDeleter: btw me and bus agreed that Del and Eshe started a band and invented Vampire Metal and lived happily ever after
Gooper Blooper: DelEsheious
TheDeleter: you heard it here folks

Chatzy Madness Volume 32: A Gorillion Jimmies

RedSpy: iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiii
RedSpy: . . . Fucking controller
RedSpy: Stop sitting on my keyboard
SteelKomodo: SPY NO D:
TheDeleter: woah there maurice
RedSpy goes to run ONE errand and look what happens
Saberwulf: Hahahahaha
SteelKomodo: lolz
TheDeleter: pffft

---

TheDeleter: lately I've been seeing which of the trivia questions on my advent calender can be answered with "YOUR MOM"
SteelKomodo: same with my shitty jokes
TheDeleter: about 60% success rate so far
TheDeleter: "What traditionally goes on top of the Christmas tree?" "YOUR MOM"
TheDeleter: "Who helps Santa make the toys?" "YOUR MOM"
SteelKomodo: XD
TheDeleter: "What do people do underneath mistletoe?" "YOUR MO- err..."
SteelKomodo: XD:
TheDeleter: "What transport does Santa use for delivering gifts?" "YOUR MOM"
Saberwulf: pff
TheDeleter: I know, it's childish, but i can't help but try
SteelKomodo: true that

Chatzy Madness Volume 29: Snowmen With Shark Teeth

SteelKomodo: so an arrogant, andro, bisexual, Lawful Evil Merfolk prince and his Pirate Eidolon walk into a bar
SteelKomodo: wat happen
TheDeleter: terrible things
TheDeleter: or great things
TheDeleter: a thousand of each
SteelKomodo: pfffft

---

TheDeleter: http://sphotos-c.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/61658_561491930531505_280393624_n.jpg
SteelKomodo: Snowmen with Shark Teeth
SteelKomodo: It's Official: The BBC have finally run out of ideas.
SteelKomodo: "Fuck it, just give snowmen shark teeth and hope someone has an irrational phobia of it."