Welcome to the Next Level

(Co-written with Jumpropeman.)

You hear talk about "man caves". Side rooms or basements that are stuffed with the hobbies of a guy with disposable income. Well, ain't no rule says a woman can't have a cave too, right? And so, over the past few years, that was exactly what had happened at the home of Meredith and Rachel, AKA Mega Drive and Nomad.

Mega Drive opened the door and stepped into the room, taking a moment to just breathe it all in. This refinished basement was a shrine to Sega. Shelves were lined with hundreds of games for every Sega system (with the Genesis unsurprisingly the most prominent). Merchandise of Sega characters also dotted the shelves, with Sonic the Hedgehog getting a whole section to himself where all of his games and merch was concentrated. Original Sega store displays and posters went up anywhere there was space. Sega arcade cabinets were here as well. For space reasons, there was a multicade that could play dozens of Sega arcade originals, but for nerd reasons, there were also a couple of genuine OG cabinets as well, including a The Lost World: Jurassic Park pinball machine. A place of honor was given to Periscope, a 1966 electro-mechanical arcade machine that was accompanied by a plaque proudly stating that it was Sega's very first game. Rachel had bought it for Meredith for Christmas 2024. That darn red-hooded nerd had always been trying to top herself, getting Meredith more extravagant and obscure Sega gifts each year, and Mega was at a bit of a loss as to how Rachel could possibly top this one next holiday season.

Meredith put a hand to her chin in thought as she looked over the Genesis games, almost reaching for a curious-looking one called Socket, then looking over at one called Chuck Rock, and then her eyes settled on a familiar favorite - Toejam and Earl. "Ah, it's so hard to choose sometimes..." she mumbled to herself. "Do I play something I don't have much experience with, or do I stick with an old faithful?"

"I have a suggestion!"

Meredith jumped a bit in surprise and turned to see Rachel had slipped into the room. "Ah, Rachel! Do you? That would be nice. I could use some help settling on something to play."

"I'm always ready to give my Sega Princess a helping hand." Rachel said softly, coming in close and hugging Meredith. "Come, let's get you to the royal couch." Rachel grinned and swept Meredith off her feet, Meredith letting out a "WHOOP!" of excited surprise as the most athletic girl in Nerd Club managed to heave her up in a princess carry. Rachel's grin turned a bit cocky as she did a couple reps with Meredith, lifting her up and down like a barbell and making her blush deeply. "You make excellent weight training." Rachel said as she stepped towards the couch, bowing her head to smooch Mega on one cheek. Meredith was lowered gently onto the couch, then Rachel stood in front of her and started rooting around in her Nomad robe for something.

"Oh, are we playing on Nomads today?" Mega asked, her cheeks still pink.

"Nah, not today. But I've got the perfect game for us to play on the big screen!" Rachel pulled out a generic plastic game case, then opened it and produced a blank Genesis cart. Instead of a label, it simply had a piece of masking tape across the front with "SOR2" written on it in marker. She stuck it in the Genesis and plopped down on the couch next to Meredith, both of them soon holding controllers. The Streets of Rage 2 title screen appeared on Meredith's large CRT television, the nerd brightening.

"Ah! A classic for sure! And the perfect co-op game to unwind with!"

"You bet! This one's a little special, though."

Mega was about to ask what was special about it, only for the character select screen to make it abundantly clear. This version of SOR2 had new playable characters. Axel, Blaze, Max, and Skate were gone, and had been replaced with... Meredith, Rachel, Gale, and Sumireko!

"Oh my goodness!" Meredith gaped in surprise, moving her cursor around to flip between the girls and admiring their sprites. They looked quite accurate, right down to the fact that all four girls were cute squishy nerds instead of muscular street toughs.

"It's us and our best friends, heading out to deal with Mr. X." Rachel said, looking quite proud of herself. "I'm no hacker, but I got some help from the rest of Nerd Club to make this happen. Ready to play?"

Meredith wasted no time in selecting herself as her playable character, looking giddy as Rachel did the same. "Absolutely!"

"Oh, and can't forget." Rachel reached into her cloak again and pulled out a big bag of chocolate-covered pretzels and a couple cans of soda. "Gotta have some game fuel, right?" She placed the bag in between the two of them and handed Meredith a soda, Rachel popping the tab on hers and Meredith crunching down on a pretzel as battle commenced on the STREETS OF RAGE.

Talk To Transformer, Volume 2

I made some more. Or rather, the AI generated some more.

The theme this time is that I tried every line twice (or more), because you get completely different results every time even if the prompt is exactly the same. Enjoy.

---

"Okay, fine." Dana sighed. "You want to know the story of how I lost my arm? I'll tell you the truth. This is how. I fell down a rabbit hole for a while." She paused, as she realized how much she hated to say that; she knew exactly what it meant. She had spent most of her time on Earth-2, and the others who worked there, trying to prevent the Second Impact from happening. She'd lost every other limb she had, and was no good with the pain. It always made her want to scream. She'd been at school for only two months, and had only managed to stay alive because a boy named John was nearby. She had barely survived the night the ship crashed; her mother had been killed, her brother injured, and John's friends were gone and didn't know where she was. One of the few members of her class was being driven to the nearest diner near the wreckage. She had learned how to make

(A surprisingly dark and tragic story about how Dana lost her arm. And everything else.) 

---

"Okay, fine." Dana sighed. "You want to know the story of how I lost my arm? I'll tell you the truth. This is how. I had all my friends in the world, and I had my friend at the wedding. Well, that ended badly. I was talking to the guy at the reception the night before, and the day before. He didn't understand me, which meant nothing to me. He was like "she wants a kid," or I was just mad that I was too old to have kids like I wanted. But then the very next day I just started crying, crying, crying. And she was there the whole time. And when I'd stop just to cry in my sleep I'd say, "'Baby, what are you crying for?' And he'd say 'Awwww! She can't have that!'" Now that I have my arm back and am working at the restaurant, and have even come back to my parents, and we were both at the wedding, the thing I have going for me right now is that all my friends are coming

(...Dana, you didn't answer the question. Good to hear you got your arm back though.) 

A New Era Dawns

"Good Evening. This is Slow Weather Jamz, your source for 24/7 weather coverage in, on, and around Olympia. Stay with us, and stay informed.

Here's your weather forecast for Tuesday, April 16."

All across Olympia, restaurants and homes and vehicles alike heard the sounds of the local forecast begin on their TVs and radios. It may be above the clouds, but there was still plenty to talk about regarding Olympia's weather. Temperature and wind speed, for starters, not to mention the city was subject to artificial rain at certain preplanned times to keep the decorative plants watered and to make the city feel a little more 'natural'. Of course, nothing about Olympia was natural. This city was schemed up in a board meeting years ago, and built from the ground up to one day be a flying spectacle. At last, that day had come.

But was the world ready for this? Had Olympia's time come too soon? Or was it time for the people of Earth to step forward into a bold new age of interplanetary alliances?

Chatzy Madness Volume 321: Lethal Ham-Inflicted Injuries

B.C.: I still feel like trash
Gooper Blooper joined the chat
B.C.: hi goops

(I PM Harpy a commission I had just finished for her.)

B.C.: My sickness has been cured
Gooper Blooper: XD
B.C.: no not really but i want to show this pic so bad

---

Renais: cheng'de plot: one mantid tells an entire army to fuck off
Gooper Blooper: who would win
Gooper Blooper: a massive evil army
Gooper Blooper: one mantis goil
Renais: DR. GOOPY'S MEAN MEME MACHINE
Draco: Getting dropped like Wids' last girlfriend.
Renais: i'm so proud of that line more than anything
Renais: its the stupid shit i'm most proud of
Draco: It's probably going in the ticker tonight.
Renais: forget the fact that i did MGM and had an epic ending
Renais: "dumped on the ground like WM's last girlfriend" gives me the giggles
Renais: 100% Giggle Girl
Draco: Excellent. :3

---

MobileDraco: https://imgur.com/Khm59Yl
City of Beasts Toinette: zfrp.gif

A Nerd Club Christmas

-DECEMBER 24, 1999-

-MANHATTAN, NEW YORK-

"I do not very much enjoy Christmas."

It was Christmas Eve, and here a child with messy black hair hid under her sheets, grumbling to herself while peering at a book with a flashlight.

"Mother and father do not listen to me. I am certain I just got frilly girly things again. I bet they're pink."

The girl known as Viola Brown sighed, her cheeks puffing out. Long has she wanted to run away from home, start her own life where no one would make fun of her for liking the occult. She'd go far away and change her name. Viola was nice, but Brown was much too plain. Maybe something like... like...

She looked down at the book she was reading again. The Official Pokemon Handbook. She'd read it cover to cover many times, but she always came back for more. The pages were open to the two-page spread devoted to Gastly, Haunter, and Gengar, and she stared at those pages with wide, wistful eyes.

"I wish I could be a Pokemon Trainer. They get to go wherever they want and have adventures. Pokemon would not judge me."

Her eyes fell to the list of attacks the Pokemon could learn. The words "Night Shade" drifted over her vision.

"...Nightshade..."

Chatzy Madness Volume 316: BRONTO BURT

Bree: https://twitter.com/qikipedia/status/993717130192457729
SteelKomodo: a bootyload is two whole buttloads :P
MobileDrac: Dirk knows an exact bootyload on sight.
SteelKomodo: canon
Del: https://twitter.com/rorvk/status/995823113723146241

---

Jumpropeman: "Hi, giant gross rabbit, I think video games should not be gatekept by weird tricks"
RubyChao: jumpropetom
Jumpropeman: Vince is right you know
Jumpropeman: Springtrap IS a giant gross rabbit
Spy Fights Heat Unproductively: He really is
Jumpropeman: oh hi spy!
Jumpropeman: I know a trick to fighting heat
Jumpropeman: you gotta Beat the Heat with the Digibeat! (All Summer!)
ivel: I don't think Spy will fit in the freezer
RubyChao: spy lives
ivel: oh :U
RubyChao: For Now
Jumpropeman: that ephemeral DigiBeat commercial shows the importance of the preservation of the most ephemeral pieces of media
Jumpropeman: how else would I be allowed to sing this song in public without having a source to cite
Gooper Blooper: >ephemerial media preservation
Jumpropeman: who knows how many "Next time on" style of commercials have disappeared into the air waves for all eternity
Gooper Blooper: in honor of jumpropeman's exsquisite taste
Gooper Blooper: rachel's in the bar
Jumpropeman: how can she be in the bar
Jumpropeman: when she's already in our hearts
Spy Fights Heat Unproductively: JRM no
Gooper Blooper: *links it again*
MobileDrac: Do people even like Rachel?
MobileDrac hides his cosplay.
Jumpropeman: *posts, ignoring Rachel*
Jumpropeman: *has turned his back on the Rachel universe*
Gooper Blooper: witness JRM's willpower to not have his characters glomp rachel every time she appears
Gooper Blooper: He doesn't have Gysel anymore to shower her with compliments, what will he do?!?!
Jumpropeman: Shimmer is currently shackled to her bed to keep her away from Rachel
Jumpropeman: barpost
Jumpropeman: I could only resist so long
Gooper Blooper: the sweet siren song of dear rachel called to JRM

(later)

Gooper Blooper: barpost
Gooper Blooper: I feel like JRM's going to point to this post and go "this is why I love Rachel"
Jumpropeman: *deletes chatzy message I was in the middle of writing* NO
Gooper Blooper: *JRM hides Rachel plush behind back*
Jumpropeman: and I swear
Jumpropeman: while Tomi and Rachel might not fite in Brawl
Jumpropeman: I won't NECESSARILY avoid her with all my cast :V
Jumpropeman: it just might happen
Jumpropeman: randomly
Jumpropeman: or she kills all my guys who knows
Gooper Blooper: She kills all of your entrants except Tomi to inflate her kill count
Gooper Blooper: Rachel sets a record for most KOs
Jumpropeman: Rachel kills 70 people before making it to the end
Jumpropeman: where Mac Tonight wins again somehow
Gooper Blooper: Or JRM does one of those "popular character is KOed by a heel-type entrant" things

---

PalaModo: Time for half-asleep rambles with SK
PalaModo: so what the heck was with that Babe film
PalaModo: and who greenlit the shit with that duck because they needed a punch in the stomach
Jumpropeman: the guy who made Mad Max
Jumpropeman: which explains a surprising amount

Assembly

-ZFPD BUILDING-

Donuts were the finest food to ever be invented. On this, Officer Patricia Wagon was absolutely certain. She didn't care if cops and donuts was a stereotype - they were delicious, dammit, and nothing would keep her from her daily donut. But as she finished eating her treat and washed it down with a sip of black coffee, her eyes drifted over her mug to the girl sitting across from her nibbling worriedly on a toaster pastry with one hand while scanning the Hoku Lewa Times newspaper she clutched in her other hand. The girl looked like an overwound toy, ready to snap if the slightest thing went wrong... even though so far things had been smooth sailing.

Of course, Patty suspected she knew why.

"Are you going to be ready for this?"

"AAAGH!" Denise Marmalade flung her newspaper into the air in a panic, though she miraculously didn't throw her pop-tart. "What?! Now?! OKAY!" She opened her mouth wide-

"Wait, wait, hold on-"

Denise promptly shoved the entire rest of her pop-tart into her mouth, and promptly began choking on it. Patty groaned, put down her coffee, and slipped behind her coworker for the Heimlich maneuver. Once the artificial incident was over with, Patty spun Denise around and put her hands firmly on her shoulders.

"You're too tense, Denise. You need to calm down."

"B-but the kobbers are coming! They're coming in less than ten days! Some of them are already HERE!"

"I know. And there will be incidents, and there will be trouble, and there will be stress. I get it. But you have to take it easy and not act like it's the end of the world. This happens every year! I've read all about it, Browny's told me stories, it's crazy compared to other places but here it's nothing new. So just try and take it one day at a time, alright?"

"A... a-alright. Thanks, Officer Wagon."

"Please. We're coworkers!" Patricia patted Denise on the shoulder and gave her a friendly smile. "Call me Patty."

Chatzy Madness Volume 307: Suffer, Small Nerd

MobileDrac: Pretty sure my wrap up will be "Zeldoten steals Rifa's bouquet and eats it."

---

ivel: I'll try to play Neverwinter Nights in the offtime to see what Deekin can do again
ivel: there is one thing I didn't get to show off~
Draco: His chainsawchucks?
ivel: well now that you ruined it, no :I
Draco: ^n^

---

RubyChao: i'm finally awake again which is nice

---

Cornwind Evil: Okay JRM
Jumpropeman: yo
Cornwind Evil: Do you know what you have made me do?
Cornwind Evil: All your biggening, all your madness?
Cornwind Evil: For the first time, in my life...I have bought a Dr. Pepper
MobileDrac: WHAT
Jumpropeman: yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Cornwind Evil: JUST TO SEE WHAT YOUR CRAZINESS IS ALL ABOUT
Cornwind Evil: And it is sitting right next to me ready to be opened
Cornwind Evil: You want proof? ONE SECOND
Jumpropeman: cornwind no
Jumpropeman: you don't need to mail me an envelope full of it
Jumpropeman: i believe you

---

RubyChao: hi
SteelKomodo: sup
RubyChao: working on epilogues
RubyChao: someday i will run out of answers to "sup" and then what, sk
RubyChao: then what
SteelKomodo: then I'll think of something else to say :P

Chatzy Madness Volume 290: KON'NICHIWA ALAN-KOUHAI

Brave Caterer: fun fact: Sumi is a shopkeep in my army of ghosties
Bree: yayyy sumi
Brave Caterer: the sprite looks too much like Sumi to let it slide
Bree: her goods are the most esoteric you'll find anywhere! buy now!!!
Draco: Sumi's prices are esoteric.
Brave Caterer: unfortunately, since she's a phantom, that means she died somewhere along the line
Brave Caterer: probably a peaceful death, with all her esoteric friends around her
Brave Caterer: Rachel cries at her bedside, and the one thing she says is
Draco: She died of old age in the Brawl.
Brave Caterer: "Y-you neeerd"
Brave Caterer: because Sumi said something completely dorky before she passed

---

Jumpropeman: Kamen Rider Hime meets the queen
Draco: JRM actually read my blog. Usually he just posts funny memes and hopes they're accurate. ;o;
Jumpropeman: the latest Kamen Rider Hime
Draco: JRM: See? Fits perfectly. I can't believe you don't read my blog you're so on-point.

---

Cornwind Evil: Sine gives Zeldoten the ultimate test
Cornwind Evil: Go through Aladdin's Cave of Wonders
Draco rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 8
Draco: Nope. Fail.
Draco: She got killed before stepping in.
Cornwind Evil: I'm reminded of a joke from the Mark Maid comic Irredeemable
Cornwind Evil: Where the Superman expy, who has turned evil, gathers up all his old villains and says he wants to team with them to do evil
Cornwind Evil: And to show he trusts them, he's given them all a switch that when pressed, activates a machine that will deactivate his powers
Cornwind Evil: Cue all the villains pressing their switches all at the same time
Cornwind Evil: It was, of course, a trick/trap
Cornwind Evil: Not-Superman: Wow. I didn't even finish my SENTENCE.
Draco: HA.
Phone: No matter how hard I press the button. ...
Draco: lel
Cornwind Evil: So I picture that with Sine, Zeldoten, and the Cave
Cornwind Evil: Sine: You can't touch anything bu- "INFINDEEELLLLSSSS!" Wow, I didn't even finish my sentence.
Draco: Sounds about right. 🙂
Phone: All the Cave of Wonders wants is true love, obedience, and a little lube before people get handsy. Why is that so wrong? Dirty thieves in all the wrong holes, grabbing whilly nilly.
Jumpropeman: go to bed
Phone: I would be glad to, but work.
Jumpropeman: they'll understand if you tell them what happened
Phone: I made bad, lewd jokes and my friend said go to bed, boss.

---

Draco asked a question: Ready for RP?
Chatzy closed the question after 3 responses:
Ready for RP?
No    1         Off-RubyChao
Draco stahp    1         Cornwind Evil
Yes    1         Gooper Blooper
Draco: Mixed results. Can't tell if people are ready for RP.
Gooper Blooper: Come May 1, people will bumble their way onto the forum and posts will happen
Gooper Blooper: ready or not, here we all come

Digital Ink

-GOLDEN SAUCER LIBRARY-

-SOME TIME BEFORE THE MOVE TO KUWAHAWI-

"THAT WAS FREAKING GREAT."

Rachel smacked the mystery novel onto the counter, Gloria looking down at it and then back up at the red-hooded girl. "I'm, uh, glad you enjoyed it."

"Got any more in this series?" Rachel asked, leaning in. "I gotta know what happens next! Is there another big heist? What happened to that other guy? There's so much more this verse could do!"

"Well..." Gloria's eyes shifted and peered diagonally upward as she twiddled her fingers. "I'm afraid that's the last book."

Rachel's jaw dropped. "NO WAY! You're kidding, right? This series was balls-out awesome! It can't be over already!"

"Afraid so. I believe we have a few other books by the same author, though..."

"Eh... I'll go look them up myself."

"Be my guest."

Gloria watched as Rachel approached the card catalog.

And walked right past it, plopping down in her chair and pulling out her smartphone. Gloria gulped nervously and tugged at her robe's collar, and something in the rafters of the library moved.

"Why did you lie?" Yamame asked quietly, dropping slowly out of the shadows while hanging upside-down. "That series has two more books in it."

"Yeah, but... but..."

"HOLY SHIT, GLORIA." Rachel came running back up to the counter, waving her phone around. "There's two more books in that series! You're holding out on me! Gimme."

Gloria slouched, looking defeated. "I can't."

"And why not?"

"Because... well, look more closely." Gloria sighed, gesturing at Rachel's phone. The younger nerd looked at her phone curiously, peering at the details of the page she'd pulled up. A look of understanding dawned on her face. "Ohhhhhh. They're digital only."

Gloria buried her face in her hands. Yamame frowned and dropped to the floor, standing up next to her girlfriend. "Is it really that big a deal?"

"Yes." Gloria huffed. "It's just not the same without a real, physical, wonderful book in your hands, is it?"

Yamame thought about it. "I do like it when I read a 'real' book... it feels better. But you're still overreacting."

Rachel shrugged. "I don't care as long as it's good." She tapped on her phone a couple times and spoke to it. "There's your three bucks, you highway robbers. Book! Now!"

"Look at it this way. It's good for people to read, right? No matter how they do it, they're still reading."

Gloria nodded slowly. "I guess you're right, Yamame."

"Good! All better then? Then let's get over this and have an-"

"Oh boy."

"EXTREME BOOK CLUB!"

Yamame shot out a line of webbing and began swinging from the ceiling while headbanging. Rachel stared for a moment and then joined in, thrashing on an air guitar. Gloria looked back and forth at the two before shrugging and beginning to dance in place.

"YEAH COOKIE"

"Pffffffff-"

Gloria blushed and looked sternly at Rachel - but did not cease her wiggling. "C'mon, Rachel, you've heard her call me that dozens of times by now."

"It hasn't gotten old yet!"

The summoner sighed. These two could be a real handful... but she didn't want either one to vanish from her life.

Kuwahawi, Here We Come!

Come along and ride on a fantastic voyage...

Dolby smiled and bobbed her head, listening to her tunes as she looked carefully around her room one last time to make absolutely sure she wasn't forgetting anything important. Not only did she have three big suitcases packed with personal items, but she was using herself as suitcase number four, having shoved all the nostalgia into her body she could comfortably carry. Perusing her depleted rack of cassette tapes one more time, she opted to grab one last blank tape and cram it into her mouth to join the rest.

"Dolby, it is time to depart." Odyssey droned from behind her. He carried only a single small case of items - his arcade machines were being shipped to Kuwahawi Island separately.

"Yeah, I think I'm set." Dolby nodded, smiling at her friend and turning her music down. "I still can't believe you're coming to Kuwahawi. I really thought I'd be the only Nostalgia Elemental to follow the Kobbers."

"Las Vegas is my home, and I will miss it. And when this is over, I will enjoy being back home." Odyssey's pupils flicked back and forth, looking at the ransacked state of Dolby's room as she had taken tons of her personal belongings and packed them up. "But I believe your desire to see more of the world is not without merit, and the opportunity to introduce these natives to arcade gaming is one I do not wish to miss. It shall be a worthwhile endeavor."

"Man, this place is gonna feel empty with you two gone."

Dolby and Odyssey turned to see Zenith, Sinclair, and Noir standing in the hallway, crowded around the entrance to Dolby's room. It had been Sinclair who had spoken, and he lowered his camera-like head. "We'll miss you."

"Come back safe, all right?" Zenith said, stepping in close. "I'll keep these two in line in the meantime."

"And when you get back," Noir piped up, "we can throw ourselves a little shindig!"

Zenith chuckles. "Sounds like a plan. In the meantime, have fun. We'll make sure to keep you in mind with music and games while you're gone."

Dolby grinned and hugged Zenith. "Thanks! Don't worry - we might get scuffed up a bit-"

"Might?" Sinclair laughed. "It's the kobbers! And you even said you want to fight in that Brawl they do every summer!"

"Hah, yeah! So we WILL get scuffed up. And probably worse. But we'll come back in one piece, just you wait and see!"

Odyssey began to move to the hall. "I shall miss you all as well. When you next see me, I shall have made arcade history."

Dolby followed Odyssey, and Sinclair came after them - it was he who would drive them to the airport. And as the waving Zenith and Noir vanished in the rear-view mirror and Odyssey and Sinclair made small talk, Dolby held up her smartphone and stared at her wallpaper, depicting her and her two best friends. Soon, she would finally see them again.