Chatzy Madness Volume 258: Big Bar Brawl 6 Edition

MeleeChao: ​>​music meister interested in praline
MeleeChao: ​i've got a bad feel about this scoob

---

M Sheep: ​Still getting over Attenborough​
Jumpropeman: ​Attenborough seemed a very Zoofights-y thing to do so I just rolled with the idea when it came to me :P
SteelKomodo: ​...is it crazy to say I wanna see him outside this?
SteelKomodo: ​like, maybe narrating stuff that happens in SRS RP?
The betting corner returns!?: ​Oh my god yes
M Sheep: ​Soar the Eagle snags a new hire to the team!​
Jumpropeman: ​"Here we see Dewnine engaging in a playful romp with Aggie. Notice how its slobber swings from its mouth every so briefly before freezing into icicles" *nature documentary music for 2 minutes as the camera watches Dewnine drool up close*​
SteelKomodo: ​hahahaha

---

Gooper Blooper: ​>​Ceneric's Cuties
Gooper Blooper: ​THE GREATEST ALLIANCE SINCE ARIEL AND MOOSH
M Sheep: ​Somebody get on drawing Ceneric's Cuties in Charlie's Angels poses​

---

SteelKomodo: ​"Josephine and Mika get in an impromptu wrestling match there on the ground"
SteelKomodo: ​Dirk's nose explodes with blood loud enough to startle Pit. "HOLY CRAP DIRK YOU OKAY"
Jumpropeman: first KO of the Brawl is Dirk
Jumpropeman: and it hasn't even started yet
Gooper Blooper: "Calm down, Dirky, at least wait until I cross off that bingo square!"

---

MeleeChao: there's 13 feeds
MeleeChao: and in a plot twist
MeleeChao: it turns out Alan Anderson is helping to bankroll the brawl this year
MeleeChao: THE COUNCIL WAS BEHIND IT ALL ALONG
MeleeChao: ...okay that joke was a stretch, sorry
Jumpropeman: The Council storms the Brawl with a plesiosaur, a kaiju with scissors for a nose, and some Modern Dinosaurs like crocs and komodo dragons

Cutting Room Floor 7: Garland Edition

ColorChange: Question for Goops: is there a cutting room floor for the Garland fight?
GB: There is quite a bit of stuff that got left out
GB: Partly because of general circumstances not coming up
GB: And partly because so much insane shit was happening at once I just had no time
ColorChange: Ah
ColorChange: Show us D:
GB: Well
GB: The biggest thing that didn't happen is based off this foreshadowing from the bar
GB: 2 months ago - Mystery Knight slays the Great Ahriman of Earthgift Shrine
7 months ago - Scrap Metal Dug Up by Dr. Unne - Believed to be a Piece of the Legendary Omega
14 months ago - Infamous Scarmiglione Found Dead Outside Hellfire Chasm
3 years ago - Mysterious Purple Tentacle Washes up on Beach
5 years ago - Phantom Train Off the Rails - Mystery Challenger Derails the Fearsome Ghost
8 Years Ago - Graveyard Desecration - Corpses Litter Corneria Cemetery, Sword Marks on Local Grave
SteelKomodo: CORNERIA NO D:
SteelKomodo: WHERE'S STAR FOX WHEN YOU NEED THEM
SteelKomodo: (i may have made this joke before)
GB: See, Garland didn't kill Sarahdad
ColorChange: Wait, didn't we fight a few of those summons?
GB: We did
GB: But look at the last line
GB: This is from after we fought the summons, when Zeph and Gloria were doing research in the bar
ColorChange: . . . I don't like where this is going ;A;
GB: Garland didn't kill Sarahdad
GB: But he might have killed a necromancer along the way
SteelKomodo: ;^;
ColorChange: . . . Oh god what
ColorChange: No no no no no that's too sad
TheDeleter: well
GB: The idea was that he would go to the gravesite, summon the necromancer, and kill Zombie Sarahdad so he could summon Sarahdad
TheDeleter: that's terrible
GB: (It would probably have been the necromancer from Castle Crashers)
SteelKomodo: in the words of Orson Wells, "Why, that's terrible!"
GB: But due to having literally no time to write anything long like that during the fight Garland just beat the shit out of the girls instead
ColorChange: Ouch
GB: Next, here's a few unused summons Garland did not bring into any fights
GB: http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a135/Kracko/Zoofights/Golem.png
GB: http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a135/Kracko/Zoofights/Odin.png
GB: http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a135/Kracko/Zoofights/Rubicante.png
GB: http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a135/Kracko/Zoofights/SteelGiant.png
ColorChange: Oh fuck the All-Father
SteelKomodo: aw shit, I could have had Saxton Hale deck Odin in the face
SteelKomodo: "Don't you know you've been replaced by the globe-encompassing power of AUSTRALIAN CAPITALISM?!"
GB: At some point, Electra was going to do this: http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a135/Kracko/Zoofights/ElectraCharge1.png
SteelKomodo: she still needs to do that
SteelKomodo: swear to god
GB: There's also this guy: http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a135/Kracko/Zoofights/GreenNinjaFFTMugshot.png
SteelKomodo: NINJAS =D
GB: This ninja was going to be working for Garland as an assistant
GB: maybe
ColorChange: RAIN YOU FIEND
GB: In truth I was confused about what his alliance would be
GB: I think at one point he was actually a concerned Mysidian coming to warn people about Garland, but he's one of those weird Japanese types who only gives up information if you prove yourself worthy
GB: So yeah, didn't know what to do with him and I had more than enough characters running around anyway, so he got dropped
ColorChange: I was going to have this be Zephyrus' swan song, but with Antoinette already dying I figured it'd end up just feeling like a repeat. So I axed it.
ColorChange: Oceanus would've lived to see the fight's end if he didn't deal with the fearsome foot of the tractor.
GB: Also, there is a major villain possibility for Browny if he ever does anything prominent again
ColorChange: So I had to emergency-draft Wheatley for a slow speed boat chase
ColorChange: . . . I read that as Browny being a major villain
SteelKomodo: ^
SteelKomodo: D:
GB: I saw that wording too. No, he doesn't have it in him
ColorChange: So now instead of Zephyrus becoming a corpse, he becomes a mechanic
ColorChange: Lets hope he can figure out how to fix a deadbro!
GB: He dropped off later in the year because people kept joining the police force and I wanted to do things with all of them together
ColorChange: D: Browny
GB: Browny was also very difficult to make a strong character out of, it seemed like
GB: He's so formal

Chatzy Madness Volume 3: Still the Best 199X

RedSpy: Hey guys, knock knock
Saberwulf: Who's there?
RedSpy: SONIC 06
Saberwulf: aaaaggghhhhh

---

Saberwulf: We almost had this exact conversation in the tabletop chat
TheDellEater: we did
TheDellEater: and then we envisioned Erebus with a beard and it was GLORIOUS
Saberwulf: He has pet hawks in his beard
SteelKomodo: Why was I not there to see it XD
Saberwulf: ave dominus hawks
RedSpy: Beardebus
Jumpropeman: Erebeard
Gooper Blooper: When Erebus is about to enter a room, he ave dominus knocks
TheDellEater: you're all fired
Saberwulf: Oh god, everything is repeating itself
Saberwulf: I told you all
Saberwulf: I told you
Gooper Blooper: Warhammer legos are called Ave Dominus Blocks
Saberwulf: Pfff
RedSpy: Erebus once played the guitar
RedSpy: He Ave Dominus ROCKS!
TheDellEater: Now I have a mental image of erebus trying to make a little land raider out of lego
Saberwulf: Dross has literally used pretty much that exact joke like three times
Gooper Blooper: At Wall Street, Erebus follows the Ave Dominus Stocks
Saberwulf: Spacceeee rrrroooccck
TheDellEater: "Where the warp is that one piece, I swear I saw it earlier"
SteelKomodo: When he goes clothes shopping, he buys Ave Dominus Socks
Jumpropeman: Erebus went to the school of Hard Ave Dominus Knocks
RedSpy: But did you know
RedSpy: when his feet are cold
RedSpy: He wears Ave Dominus Socks?
SteelKomodo: too late Spy, I already made that joke :P
TheDellEater: you're all terrible
Saberwulf: He cooks dinner in an Ave Dominus Crock
TheDellEater changed name to NotAnOtherMReference
SteelKomodo: thank god
SteelKomodo: no-one wants to reference that game
Jumpropeman: He recently came down with a case of Ave Dominus Pox
NotAnOtherMReference changed name to TheDeleter
RedSpy: On his bagel he spreads Ave Dominus Lox
RedSpy changed name to The Baby
The Baby changed name to RedSpy

Cutting Room Floor 5

Here's some stuff I forgot to talk about in the last post!

-Browny was almost introduced early twice. I had an introductory post all written up where he dove into the bar to use it as cover, then headshotted a thug before noticing all the people behind him and awkwardly introducing himself. He was introduced for real a few days later during one of the first 2012 season events.

-The other possible Browny introduction is far weirder and goes farther back. He almost showed up during the 2011 season when Cornwind sent that giant alien to the bar. He would have appeared unannounced during the fight and shown a friendliness towards Zephyrus, and afterward Celestia would appear and reveal that Browny was actually a drastically upgraded Skeiron. However, I decided to keep Skeiron in his current form with his limited dialogue and love of bread.

-Speaking of Skeiron, he almost became a tagalong fanboy of Starscream, but wound up being one of sorts for Zephyrus instead when Starscream took like two weeks to recover after his Fite Yer Mates victory.

-The Necronomitron was going to lurk in the shadows for the whole tournament, then there'd be a Fite yer Mates event or something similar where a bunch of bargoers fought him. This was scrapped for two reasons: One, Air Man challenged Necro to a fight. Two, the RP Explosion rapidly made the Necronomitron small fry (and a hero).

-Who remembers this snippet from Hephaestus last year?

("FOOLS, I HAVE CAPTURED THE GIRL, AND SHALL USE HER TO-"

"Get back in thine jar, swit, or I shalt be forced to inject you into that pig I keep in the corner. It has Down's Syndrome.")

Yes, Hephaestus had somehow acquired a small, powerless fragment of Mr. Evil Midnight and was keeping him for (I'm guessing) experimental purposes.

At the end of my introductory post for the Tiamat event, after introducing all those bad guys, a pig with Down's syndrome was going to pop into existence, flying high in the air above the city, then squeal a squeal of challenge. LordPig would have had all the abilities of the Lord, but vastly weaker (although nearly as durable).

I removed LordPig for two reasons: I didn't want any Lord-related drama of any kind to taint the event, and I didn't want Cornwind to feel like I was making fun of him or something, bringing back everyone's villains and then doing this to his.

-Blade was supposed to be the important Storm Biker, what the hell :psyduck:

The Death Toll

Because I like useless statistics and because why not, it's time to count up how many times each of my characters has been killed!

Widow Maker - 3
- Sliced in two vertically in the Big Bar Brawl by Alexander Triden
- Bisected by the Lord
- Bisected by Urkrathos' chainsword

Wow, Widow Maker gets cut in half a lot.Yesterday's death at the hands of Urkrathos is the first time someone besides Elohim revived her, which means it's the first time she's avoided baby form.

Sarah - 2
- Gunned down during the Terminator Squadron fight
- Soul eaten by Atma

Sarah managed to go a seriously long time before her first death, but it did eventually come. She also came VERY close to dying after defeating Draco in Fite Yer Mates, but only just hung on.

Celestia - 0 (!!!)

I think Celestia might be the only major character of the 2011 season to never be killed. Everybody else I can think of either lost a Fite or died in RP. Rebecca could possibly count, although she didn't appear too often. After her you have to go down to characters like the Kirby Brigade and the Five-Mantis Band to find people who weren't killed at some point.

Skeiron - 4
- Crushed by Devastator
- Destroyed by Jaxx in the Fite Week Rumble
- Ripped to pieces by the Servitor shadow clone
- Blown up by Blade

Skeiron seems to die or be severely crippled very easily. I think it's because I can play fast-and-loose with him since he feels no pain and can just be rebuilt by Celestia.

The Martian/Biollante - 3
- Necronomitron - defeated by Zephyrus in FYM
- Nostronomitron - shot down by Celestia during the WarMech fight
- Biollante - Roasted by WarMechs

I'm not certain how many of these can be considered deaths. The Martian and Biollante have never needed outside help to recover from injury.

Hella Jeff - 2
- Destroyed by ROB in the Big Bar Brawl
- Killed by Doomrider in Fite Yer Mates

Hella Jeff also lost to Ironichide in FYM, but this was before losing a Fite was pretty much guaranteed death. I portrayed him as just really FUBAR instead.

Villains - 10
- Marilith - Destroyed by Alexander Triden
- Cagnazzo - Obliterated by a group effort from the bar
- Lich - Taken out during the Tiamat event
- Tiamat - Her death capped off the Tiamat event
- The Storm Bikers - Gale, Hurricane, and Tornado killed by Devil Ed, Doomrider, and Marcus
- The Projects - Projects 30, 31, and 32 murdered by Chet, Marcus, and Widow Maker

What's more notable are bad guys who manage to escape with their lives. So far that's limited to the Excite Bikers and some heel-face turns from Celestia, her Warmechs, Kraken, and the Martian.

The 2012 season has so far handed me two non-villain deaths. I expect quite a few more as we go through the summer - especially because I know my current perfect FYM record of 2-0 is not going to hold if I keep entering characters.

Zoofights 6 - The End

The tournament is over! And not a moment too soon!

Seriously, all you dufes on the RP forum were great, Zoofights is great, and the final was amazing and full of twists and turns, but I have been suffering from some nasty Ending Fatigue. Compare my voting posts from Round 1 to my votes from the last few rounds - I'm freaking exhausted. And the RP was fun but it's such a time sink. I'm looking forward to focusing on video games and the like - I got Kirby's Epic Yarn for my birthday a month ago and I still haven't even touched it!

Also, I am so sick of people not understanding why the RP Forum got so big. Do you realize that, since September, we've been getting two fights a month? In May, there were five fights. Since the alternative was abandoning the forum, I don't see why keeping our little clusterfuck in the bottom was such a problem. Hopefully we can just elect Jumpropeman as a mod and be done with it.

Concerning my character roster, now is the time to trim the field. I have a few ideas already:

-Widow Maker will return. She's built for Zoofights both literally and figuratively. Fun Fact: Even when not specified, most of my comments in the voting and battling threads can be easily read as Widow Maker. She's basically my argumentative side personified, which is exactly what you want in a "talking head".
-Sarah goes with Alex. Simple as that. Her return is dependent on his.
-Celestia, being closely linked with Sarah, probably will only return if Sarah does.
-And Skeiron is linked to Celestia. Oy. Might just have these two be relegated to cameo appearances.
-Done with Hella Jeff (unless there's some potential for a cameo)
-Done with Biollante (same as Jeff)
-I'll likely bring in at least one new character depending on the theme of the next tournament. What I'd like to do is just have this character and maybe Widow Maker for a while, and perhaps bring in Sarah later.

I actually don't use social media sites like some of the rest of you, but I'll still be checking Blogger every so often for updates from you all.

Most likely, today my more important characters will all be saying their final goodbyes and splitting up. Peace out, dufes.

The Best Laid Plans of Mantids and Men

I hope poor Zephyrus recovers from his memory loss soon. There was something special I'd wanted to do...

On a different note, and to make this post a little longer than one sentence, I've done a few posts now building up towards a certain date next week. Anyone figured out why yet?

RP Retrospective (Part 2)

Okay, let's finish up the look back at the characters I assumed roles for this past summer.

THE NECRONOMITRON
Now THIS was interesting to do. While Widow Maker was in the hospital, Sine Cosine gave her an unidentified package as a gift. With no description, I was free to make up what the contents were. I thought of several potential items, mostly weapons and such, but settled on a mysterious book with an emblem on the front that looked suspiciously like a certain Martian's eye...

The Necronomitron was the Loser's League incarnation of Zoofights III's Martian, but it was dropped from the roster and never mentioned again. With the passing of not only two more tournaments but also a universe reboot thanks to Croctopus, it was clear that this potential plot thread would never be picked up, so I came up with my own design for the Necronomitron - a possessed book with the Martian's tentacles. Since he was Brother Chucked in the official tournament, his personality was jealous, revenge-seeking, and tortured at his unfair elimination (he actually won his Round 1 fight but was sent to the Loser's League anyway). The result was a tragic sort of villain who had some good points about his frustrations, but he was going to go a little too far in getting his revenge.

My plan was to keep him in the shadows for a long time, and he would return at the climax of the tournament for an exciting fight. However, two things interfered. The first was Air Man's challenge to fight Necro in a Fite Yer Mates match, which forced him out of hiding much earlier than intended. The second was the RP Explosion - even if the Martian had been left alone, the plots soon went far beyond his scope, making him hardly a blip on the radar compared to some other peoples' villains.

And then the Martian lost his fight, which led to Air Man's survival and the Martian's Heel Face Turn, making him a heroic guardian who wound up sacrificing his life to keep the bar safe, only to merge with his pet Biollante in one of my stranger ideas. It was the first of several reformed villains I would be using...

THE FIVE MANTIS BAND
I like to use the things I win in bets at the Betting Corner. Although I don't always find a use for everything, other things see considerable action, such as the Supermarine Walrus plane, Sarah's shutter shades, and some of my unclaimed bets like the Golden Game Brute and Commodore 64. Widow Maker won five normal-sized, instrument-playing mantids from Jumpropeman after Neuromantis beat Cash Cow, and they became fringe joke characters that make an appearance every so often, usually to play a song. They haven't done much in recent weeks, but they're in talks to play at a certain ninja wedding...

CELESTIA
The Warriors of Light plot, like so many other things in RP-land, has grown much larger than my original vision for it. The original plan was for Sarah to find the four Warriors of Light and give them their crystals, then hold off a fleet of WarMechs before going to the Flying Fortress to defeat Tiamat and take home a ton of treasure. Then I considered making the final fight more exciting by including the other Fiends. And THEN they started attacking the bar separately, and now Tiamat is assembling minions from other people's plots and now it's four plots in one and the Tiamat battle is going to be the Bar's final boss. I just need to find the right day to do it.

Wait, none of this is about Celestia.

Celestia (Sarah's mother) got her start as a minion of Tiamat's. Her first mention was in a photo album of Sarah's - a black mage appears in some of the pictures, but is absent in all the more recent ones. My original implication was that she had died, but I left it ambiguous. Later, while looking up WarMech pictures, I found one that appeared to have a cockpit. Intrigued by the idea of a giant manned WarMech leading the others, I brought it into the story and decided to have Sarah's mother drive it. It was my intention from the start that she would survive and Heel Face Turn, making her the second reformed villain of mine.

Celestia is a pretty fun and diverse character to write for. Her experience with the WarMechs makes her a mechanical genius, and I like having my characters be capable of helping others in unique ways. Her motherly demeanor opens up possibilities for all sorts of pleasant mommy things and allowed her to befriend Little Walter. And, just like her daughter, every so often she winds up drunk...

SKEIRON
Another "happy accident", Skeiron is one of Celestia's WarMechs. He arose from a simple gag wherein one of her generic robots, WarMech-3, was aware of the fact that it was a doomed mook and was therefore trying to get in some memorable one-liners before getting killed and forgotten about. RedSpy mentioned he thought it was funny, and then... "Can we keep him?"

I used WM3 a few more times leading up to the match, showing that he wasn't interested in fighting. His pacifism saved him in the fight, when he was the only WarMech to survive. But then Cornwind Evil decided to kill him off instead, having Devastator stomp him to smithereens during the six-hour Lord marathon. I considered keeping him dead, since I was already managing three characters at once, but I opted to revive him a few days later, and he now shows up occasionally. The robot became a comedy character with the principal gimmicks of robospeak, not understanding popular culture but quoting it anyway, and (the crowd favorite) making as many jokes as possible despite only knowing one punchline. Much later he acquired the name Skeiron to reflect his fondness for Zephyrus, the only bar character to have really befriended him.

Annnnd this post is even longer than the last. Derp.