GB's 100 Games Intermission: The Bad Game Awards

With 100 Games having reached the halfway point, I'm taking a break from it to shed some light on the opposite end of the spectrum: Games that sucked.

There are many ways a game can suck. Terrible music, poor controls, glitches and bugs interrupting or interfering with gameplay, and most importantly a game that is boring, too easy, too hard, or poorly designed. The existence of Big Dumb Vidya Games not only in my collection but on the list of 100 proves a game can have some blemishes - significant blemishes - and still earn high marks. But if a game is not fun, it has failed as a game.

A game can also be bad by association. If your expectations are high based on the past of the series or the developers, and the game falls short, you may think of it as a "bad game" even if it's not bad. It could be mediocre, or even good, but it was not able to match your expectations. This has happened to me a couple of times.

So with that in mind, let's review three games in three categories: The game that most disappointed me, a game that's so bad it's good, and the outright worst thing I've ever put in a video game system.

Baa

Alex

Alex why

The Best of Zoofights Forum Spambots

I've got a few choice tapogre posts from last year saved on my computer that were deleted off the forum by Gravitas. Allow me to share.

First, here's an argument held in the topic where the infamous TRAMADOL made its first appearance.

Honk on Honk Bag: But what are TRAMADOL's abilities? How would it stack up against Ned Killy?

RedSpy: Nothing could stack up against Ned Killy. A giant, pissed off fish who does anything to win and has a whole arsenal of weapons? He earned his position of champion of Zoofights IV.

Gooper Blooper: Ned Killy is nowhere near as affordable or effective. Ned Killy no chance.

#TRAMADOL

Gezora: Gezora can't believe its found such a bargain. Gezora will pour TRAuMADOL Slammers all around!

Gentleman Draco: Ned Killy doesn't stand a chance against Traumadol. He's from Australia, right? Well, Australia is populated mostly by criminals and criminals are not to be trusted, therefore Zoofights would not give them access to the best surgineers for Ned Killy. Meanwhile, Traumadol is "U.S. Licensed" and thus has big money backing him up. His speed is also greatly superior to Ned Killy's! "Fast overnight shipping" versus...what? 20 km/h? 30? Traumadol has the speed and endurance to cross an entire continent in just a few hours! "Free prescription included" also means he's smarter; if he's giving out prescriptions, he must be a doctor, right? Finally, he's got Ned Killy beat in the stealth department. "Discreet unmarked packages" give him the ability to hide in plain sight; you wouldn't know you were looking at him until you were already dead.

#TRAMADOL all the way!

RedSpy: When I said Ned Killy would win, I forgot his latest upgrades.

He is now frontman of Ned Killy and the Kings of Beasts, his body replaced with that of a rockstar. What are rockstars known for doing?

POPPING PILLS

Ned Killy will seem to win the fight against our proud new contestant via consumption, only to overdose on Tramadol and die for it. It'll be like Steamcrab vs. Reanimamut or Drillz vs. Hyperpotamus, the victorious pill bottle bursting right through Ned Killy's now humanoid gut.

Tramadol is truly the future godbeast of Zoofights. It will make From Hell, Seanet, Elohim, and Gamma Constrictor wet their pants with terror. God help us if this . . . beast is ever released to the public.