A New Era Dawns

"Good Evening. This is Slow Weather Jamz, your source for 24/7 weather coverage in, on, and around Olympia. Stay with us, and stay informed.

Here's your weather forecast for Tuesday, April 16."

All across Olympia, restaurants and homes and vehicles alike heard the sounds of the local forecast begin on their TVs and radios. It may be above the clouds, but there was still plenty to talk about regarding Olympia's weather. Temperature and wind speed, for starters, not to mention the city was subject to artificial rain at certain preplanned times to keep the decorative plants watered and to make the city feel a little more 'natural'. Of course, nothing about Olympia was natural. This city was schemed up in a board meeting years ago, and built from the ground up to one day be a flying spectacle. At last, that day had come.

But was the world ready for this? Had Olympia's time come too soon? Or was it time for the people of Earth to step forward into a bold new age of interplanetary alliances?

Assembly

-ZFPD BUILDING-

Donuts were the finest food to ever be invented. On this, Officer Patricia Wagon was absolutely certain. She didn't care if cops and donuts was a stereotype - they were delicious, dammit, and nothing would keep her from her daily donut. But as she finished eating her treat and washed it down with a sip of black coffee, her eyes drifted over her mug to the girl sitting across from her nibbling worriedly on a toaster pastry with one hand while scanning the Hoku Lewa Times newspaper she clutched in her other hand. The girl looked like an overwound toy, ready to snap if the slightest thing went wrong... even though so far things had been smooth sailing.

Of course, Patty suspected she knew why.

"Are you going to be ready for this?"

"AAAGH!" Denise Marmalade flung her newspaper into the air in a panic, though she miraculously didn't throw her pop-tart. "What?! Now?! OKAY!" She opened her mouth wide-

"Wait, wait, hold on-"

Denise promptly shoved the entire rest of her pop-tart into her mouth, and promptly began choking on it. Patty groaned, put down her coffee, and slipped behind her coworker for the Heimlich maneuver. Once the artificial incident was over with, Patty spun Denise around and put her hands firmly on her shoulders.

"You're too tense, Denise. You need to calm down."

"B-but the kobbers are coming! They're coming in less than ten days! Some of them are already HERE!"

"I know. And there will be incidents, and there will be trouble, and there will be stress. I get it. But you have to take it easy and not act like it's the end of the world. This happens every year! I've read all about it, Browny's told me stories, it's crazy compared to other places but here it's nothing new. So just try and take it one day at a time, alright?"

"A... a-alright. Thanks, Officer Wagon."

"Please. We're coworkers!" Patricia patted Denise on the shoulder and gave her a friendly smile. "Call me Patty."

Kuwahawi, Here We Come!

Come along and ride on a fantastic voyage...

Dolby smiled and bobbed her head, listening to her tunes as she looked carefully around her room one last time to make absolutely sure she wasn't forgetting anything important. Not only did she have three big suitcases packed with personal items, but she was using herself as suitcase number four, having shoved all the nostalgia into her body she could comfortably carry. Perusing her depleted rack of cassette tapes one more time, she opted to grab one last blank tape and cram it into her mouth to join the rest.

"Dolby, it is time to depart." Odyssey droned from behind her. He carried only a single small case of items - his arcade machines were being shipped to Kuwahawi Island separately.

"Yeah, I think I'm set." Dolby nodded, smiling at her friend and turning her music down. "I still can't believe you're coming to Kuwahawi. I really thought I'd be the only Nostalgia Elemental to follow the Kobbers."

"Las Vegas is my home, and I will miss it. And when this is over, I will enjoy being back home." Odyssey's pupils flicked back and forth, looking at the ransacked state of Dolby's room as she had taken tons of her personal belongings and packed them up. "But I believe your desire to see more of the world is not without merit, and the opportunity to introduce these natives to arcade gaming is one I do not wish to miss. It shall be a worthwhile endeavor."

"Man, this place is gonna feel empty with you two gone."

Dolby and Odyssey turned to see Zenith, Sinclair, and Noir standing in the hallway, crowded around the entrance to Dolby's room. It had been Sinclair who had spoken, and he lowered his camera-like head. "We'll miss you."

"Come back safe, all right?" Zenith said, stepping in close. "I'll keep these two in line in the meantime."

"And when you get back," Noir piped up, "we can throw ourselves a little shindig!"

Zenith chuckles. "Sounds like a plan. In the meantime, have fun. We'll make sure to keep you in mind with music and games while you're gone."

Dolby grinned and hugged Zenith. "Thanks! Don't worry - we might get scuffed up a bit-"

"Might?" Sinclair laughed. "It's the kobbers! And you even said you want to fight in that Brawl they do every summer!"

"Hah, yeah! So we WILL get scuffed up. And probably worse. But we'll come back in one piece, just you wait and see!"

Odyssey began to move to the hall. "I shall miss you all as well. When you next see me, I shall have made arcade history."

Dolby followed Odyssey, and Sinclair came after them - it was he who would drive them to the airport. And as the waving Zenith and Noir vanished in the rear-view mirror and Odyssey and Sinclair made small talk, Dolby held up her smartphone and stared at her wallpaper, depicting her and her two best friends. Soon, she would finally see them again.

Two Weeks

Did you know F-Zero racers can go at normal speeds? It's possible, with the right equipment. Thanks to the ever-handy skills of Josephine's mother Celestia, the Blue Falcon was now street legal. It could drive along on an added set of wheels at a reasonable pace, or - when needed - tuck in the wheels and go right back to its' ludicrously fast ways.

So it was now that Josephine was cruising towards the Las Vegas Strip, her eyes shining with wonder and desire at the neon lights.

In the back seat, Gloria rolled her eyes, her face buried in a book about Las Vegas' history. "You know, Josephine, you got lucky last year. They say the house always wins."

"House didn't beat me."

"It will. You realize that these places couldn't stay in business if the odds were 50/50, let alone in your favor? Keep playing, and you're bound to lose."

"Only if I'm unlucky. And I feel like pressing my luck."

"Don't say I didn't warn you."

"C'mon, Gloria, loosen up."

"Hey, I'm just looking out for you."

"Ugh, I know, but..." Josephine sighed. "You know something? Everyone in our family has changed except you."

"What? What are you talking about?"

"Sarah found herself, and helped us change job classes. And since then, she's matured and grown a lot as a person. I've gained confidence in myself. Ariel's gotten stronger after being tempered by trials like The Society. Mom was freed from Tiamat and found her calling as a baker... and a mechanic, and a theme park owner... sheesh, she does a lot. And Dad... well, he was DEAD! But you're the same old stuffy boring Gloria."

"I resent that." Gloria huffed. "I opened my own library."

"You always wanted to do that. That's not a change."

"I became a summoner!"

"That hasn't changed who YOU are, sis."

"Well, so what? Maybe I like being boring." Gloria said, looking back at her book. "I mean, someone around here has to keep a cool head. You guys are rowdy enough, but this city is like a drug. Especially for you. This family needs a designated driver."

"That's Dad's job. C'mon - you're young, you're experienced, and you're frittering away the best years of your life doing nothing but reading!"

"Reading is fast becoming a lost art. Someone needs to preserve the traditions of the past."

"Okay, look. A couple years ago, Ariel took me to the ZFS King of Beasts to help me come out of my shell and stop caring so much about stupid shit like dress sizes and magazines. Now it's my turn to help someone."

They came to a stoplight. Josephine grimaced briefly at the line of traffic in front of her, but then took the opportunity to turn her head to look at Gloria, and jabbed a finger at her.

"You? You're gonna have fun in Las Vegas."

"I had fun last year."

"You didn't even scratch the surface of the Vegas experience. Well, no more. You're going to see the shows."

"Well, okay."

"And you're gonna gamble."

"Ugh... Must I?"

"And eat at the Heart Attack Grill."

"You wouldn't."

"I would. Gloria, you're getting the full Vegas treatment this year! And you can take that to the bank!"

"The only things I'll be taking to the bank after this are an IOU and raised cholesterol..."

Josephine shook her head, chuckling, and then heard someone honk their horn at her. She hurriedly looked back at the road and saw the cars moving, and the Blue Falcon lurched back into motion. With one hand on the wheel, the chemist flipped on the radio, looking for a station...

Chatzy Madness Volume 199: Chatzy Pls

This special mini-edition of Chatzy Madness in which every punchline is "x pls" is sponsored by Bree.

Attempting to compile every time anyone said "x pls" would be a Sisyphean task, so instead for this special Chatzy Madness, 30 names - users, characters, etc - have been searched for in my nearly 1000 chatlogs with Windows Search and a sample has been taken.

Let the pleading begin.

---

Harpy: *looks at barchives*
Harpy: *giffany made it*
Gooper Blooper: Made it on the villain list? Of course she did, she kidnapped two regulars
Harpy: the description should have totes been "oh mah gawd murderous girlfriends are just so kawaii desuuuu~"
Gooper Blooper: updated villains list
RubyChao: bwahahaha goops pls
Harpy: oh my god he actually did it
Harpy: thank ye goops
Harpy: thoops
Gooper Blooper: kawaii uguu yandere
Harpy: >​uguu
Harpy: aaaaaaaaaa

---

I Am Del: today begins the redemption of tak-sin apparently
I Am Del: when curnweend arrives
I Am Del: coincidentally, there's a rainbow outside my window
I Am Del: GAY JOKES ARE STILL FUNNY RIGHT GUYS
I Am Del: GUYS
I Am Del: GUYS
I Am Del: guys
I Am Del: :<
SteelKomodo: del pls

---

Cornwind Evil: And now you know why Ash knows so much modern pop culture
iKomodo: WELP
Jumpropeman: that really was bugging me to be honest so I'm glad to know the full skinny now
Cornwind Evil: Until he was 16, our Earth was his
Cornwind Evil: Xaxargas came out in 2020
Banjo KazooBree: Xaxargas: "Mom...Dad...I'm gay."
Banjo KazooBree: "I'M DATING JEWEL MAN AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME"
iKomodo: Bree pls
iKomodo: BREE PLS
Banjo KazooBree pls
Del: sk's pls fall on deaf ears

The City of Second Chances

-MANHATTAN, NEW YORK-

-TRIDENLAND-

"I can't believe we're shutting down Tridenland..." Sarah moped.

"Oh, don't be so melodramatic, dear!" Celestia said, waving a hand dismissively. "We just can't be in two places at once! It will still be open on a limited basis, just as more of a family fun stop than a full amusement park."

It was true - caught between either leaving the park for yet another summer or ignoring her friends at the King of Beasts, Celestia, ever the businesswoman, had decided to take a third option and make Tridenland into a franchise, with a new location opening in Las Vegas. Manhattan's Tridenland would remain open, but it was not as popular as it was in its' early years, perhaps due to the memories of Zoofights fading and becoming less fresh. Now it would be a smaller, more laid-back experience, with many of the biggest rides being either decommissioned or moved to the new location.

Competing for dollars in Las Vegas was risky, to be sure, but the possible payoff was massive. Celestia mused over this fact as she watched a team of WarMechs led by Skeiron, Mecha-Sarah, and Buzzsaw dismantle a roller coaster for parts while Isotope surveyed the scene and acted as a lookout. She laughed quietly to herself. A big risk for a big payout... that definitely sounded like Vegas, all right.

Celestia looked away from the demolition and took a look at her daughter. Sarah had always had a bit of a healthy, cheery glow about her when happy, but now she seemed to be like that all the time, even when outwardly she could be glum, or bored, or even asleep. And Celestia knew why.

When Alex had popped the question, Sarah's initial quiet response had, predictably, given way to her old giddy excitement, and she'd spent the entire next day vibrating with joy as she told and retold the events of the day before to her family and many of her friends. That initial rush had faded, but a storm of emotions continued to swarm through the little white mage long after the fact.

The wedding was planned for June, currently, and there was still much to be done, but Celestia had been happy to take care of much of the minutiae, and the family as a whole wasn't jonesing for a massive, extravagant affair with dozens of third parties to pay thousands to - especially since Celestia herself could do the catering. No, this would be a simple wedding to plan, if not still fancy in person.

After all, a wedding in the glitziest place on the planet between two people who really, really, REALLY enjoyed sweets wasn't exactly going to be a muted, quiet one.

Chatzy Madness Volume 186: Hunger Games Simulator Edition

Crinwnd Evil joined the chat
Crinwnd Evil: This is me rtrying to type without my glasses on
Harpy: you did pretty well typing that out without your glasses
Tableter: You're close
SteelKomodo: not bad!
Crinwnd Evil: I have to virtually presses my head to the screen to see
Harpy: nearsighted, farsighted, or astigma- okay so it sounds like severe nearsightedness
Harpy: disclaimer: I am not an eye doctor
Crinwnd Evil: Bearsifghted U Belecve
Harpy: I SUFFER FROM BEARSIGHTEDNESS
Harpy: ALL I CAN SEE ARE BEARS
SteelKomodo: oh lawd

---

Gooper Blooper: meanwhile, checked twitch to see what, if anything, was on Bazza's channel
Gooper Blooper: Someone is playing a Scribblenauts game
Gooper Blooper: He attempted to solve a puzzle by creating Hulk Hogan (who is in fact in the game) and gave him a saxophone
Harpy: lel
Gooper Blooper: Unfortunately, when he tried to place an american flag behind Hogan he took the flag and killed an NPC with it, causing a game over
Harpy: welp
Gooper Blooper: chat explodes into "NEW WORLD ORDER" and "HULK TURNED HEEL"
Breetannia: lel
SteelKomodo: XD
Gooper Blooper: god dammit scribblenauts
Gooper Blooper: he had to give a scientist a "fellow member of the scientific community" to talk with, so he typed in "smart CM Punk" and a little CM Punk wearing a grad cap appeared
Gooper Blooper: it worked
SteelKomodo: XD
Harpy: amazing

---

SteelKomodo: so um
SteelKomodo: remember in an old blog post years ago
SteelKomodo: where I came up with the title "Sky Sharks"?
Gooper Blooper: literally zoofights 1

---

Breetannia: Dirk, the day after Pitsuho wedding: "...hey bro, do you think she'll lay eggs, or do it the conventional way?"
Breetannia: Pit: DIRK PLS
SteelKomodo: XD
RubyChao: goddammit dirk
Gooper Blooper: All signs indicate okuu is doing the latter, but then it turns out the big dramatic PUSH PUUUUSSSHH scene is just to lay a really big egg
RubyChao: "...So do we have to wait an extra month, now?"
Cornwind Evil: Well that was a great thing to come back to
Gooper Blooper: Cornwind, master of timing
Breetannia: #timing
SteelKomodo: #Timing

The GB Ensemble: MinorPalooza

The old Ensemble was getting too clunky to manage, so I'll be abandoning it in favor of the Character Profiles topic on our forum. Here are the profiles of minor characters that I did not deem worthy of inclusion in the main post.

-Characters listed on the forum post (look there for their profiles)-

Ariel Sierra - Activist and archer
Baltan and Kauket - Alien duo sent to study another planet
Barbon - 2012 replacement bartender
Beheeyem - Fite Club owner and operator
Biollante/The Martian - A giant monster with the mind of a once-scorned zoofighter
Browny - High-tech cop tasked with cleaning up the streets
Celestia Canicco - Mechanic, baker, loving mother, people tend to compliment her patoot
Clippy - Well-meaning but mostly unhelpful "bar assistant"
Construct 8 - Sarah and Alex's bodyguard
Dr. Bulgrave - Former mad scientist struggling to cope with advances in technology
Electra - Queen of Manhattan's nightlife and owner of what was once Barbon's bar and Fite Club
The Four Fiends - Evil demigodlike monsters that sought the elemental crystals
Garland the Chaotic - A powerful Mysidian knight/summoner with a grudge against Sarah's family
The Great Conehead Brigade - Three horny idiots in armor
Gloria Encarta - Powerful summoner, lover of books
Helios Canicco - A miracle returned him to his wife
Hella Jeff/Sweet Bro - Non-euclidean humanoid druggies
Josephine Bouteille - Self-conscious chemist who learned to embrace herself thanks to Ariel and Dirk
Marlin the Magnificent/New Marlinnium - Former foe of Widow Maker
Mercutio Ferros - Hammer-wielding paladin who worships the goddess Zienna
Missingno - Friendly Eldritch Abomination
Mr. X - Scummy crime boss who abused loopholes and poisoned the environment for profit
Myriam Scuttlebutt - Investigative reporter who likes to hide under boxes
Sakura Atari - Chew toy of the universe, or at least M Sheep's universe
Samhain - A fun-loving Halloween spirit who only appears in October
Sarah Triden - Happy-go-lucky white mage with a blast furnace digestive system
Sheryl - Southern-fried WA-7 droid who is protective of her diner
Shroud - Mysterious wanderer who knows much about Ardea
Silence - Mute, mask-wearing woman built like a truck
Sir Periwinkle - A misogynist knight who kidnapped Josephine for an arranged marriage
Skeiron - Accidentally sentient WarMech unit with a love of levity
The Storm Bikers - A normal gang caught up in an oddball plot
Stormtrooper Squadron - The incompetent but lovable security force of the ZFS
The Swarm - Widow Maker's collection of arthropod pets
Thurg - A follower of Mercutio, also a beastmaster lacking in basic sentence structure
TYP-E - A high-level authority on the ZFS
Tyra Flare - A follower of Mercutio, also a stealthy ninja assassin
Viola Nightshade - Creepy goth girl Pokemon trainer
Widow Maker - A genre-savvy eight-foot mantis with wit as sharp as her claws
X-Demolition/Constructor X - Overly theatric robot construction duo

The GB Ensemble Royal Rumble - Part 8: Finale

"Ladies and gentlemen, at this time I'd like to thank everyone who's stuck with us through the ups and the downs and the creamy middles of the Barbon's Fite Club and Tavern Royal Rumble!"
"Brought to you by Waluigi's Taco Stand."
"And Pleasure Motors!"
"And Liberty Medical."
"And Colgate as well!"
"Better burn off all these sponsors now, seeing as there's only four people left in this clusterfuck."
"That's right, and with no more entrants these four are all we'll be seeing from here to the end! Who's going to take home the championship belt and the big cash prize?! BAH GAWD I'm pumped!"
"Just don't sweat on me or anything, geez."

The GB Ensemble Royal Rumble - Part 7

The arena is silent. The crowd has largely fled. What few remain watch helplessly or cower in fright. It is quite obvious at this point that Mr. X was not supposed to be here, and that he was fully intending on getting his revenge, and silencing Ariel forever.

The petrified archer stares into the madman's gun barrel. Her white magic was not strong enough to stop point-blank bullets, and there was no time to try a distraction with Blink. Her mother and anyone else who could save her were incapacitated. Mr. X grinned cruelly, one finger curled around his gun's trigger.

In a burst of sparks, a burst of laser energy sent Mr. X's gun flying. Once Ariel processed what just happened, she cast Blink and scurried away. Mr. X, meanwhile, growled and turned to face the source of the attack.

"Who-?!"

"OHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"

The GB Ensemble Royal Rumble - Part 6

"I CAN'T SEE SHIT!"
"ME NEITHER! WHAT'S GOING ON IN THERE? Ugh... Folks, if you're just joining us, this is the Barbon's Fite Club and Tavern Royal Rumble. We've seen twenty-four of the thirty contestants enter, and just barely two of them escalated their battle to the next level and tried to blow up the whole ring. The pure white is finally starting to fade and I think my retinas are nearly done oozing down my face so let's see what all's left in the ring!"

The ring is filled with unconscious people. Electra has been blown backwards and is hopelessly tangled up in the ropes. Celestia is in a similar position. Gust is face-down in one part of the arena, while The Necronomitron lies in one corner, its tentacles quivering uncontrollably. Widow Maker is still unable to see, and is clinging for dear life to the body of Marlin the Magnificent, who is flying in large, lazy circles thirty feet above the ring.

"Is that everyone?"
"Where's that blue-assed piece of shit that wandered in as the 24th entry?"
"Oh yeah, Hella Jeff.

...Where IS he?"

BZZZZZZZ

The GB Ensemble Royal Rumble - Part 5

"Well, folks, it has certainly been a night to remember here at Barbon's Fite Club and Taver-"
"Why do you keep repeating the full name every five entrances?"
"We earn a commission for promoting the club. I'm doing MY part! OHOHOHO!"
"...Right, yes. Well, Barbon's Fite Club and Tavern has certainly paid host to a fight tonight the patrons of Barbon's Fite Club and Tavern will never forget, especially as they continue to visit Barbon's Fite Club and Tavern and are reminded of the Barbon's Fite Club and Tavern Royal Rumble each time they look at the hallowed walls of Barbon's-"
"I... don't think it works that way."
"Fuck."
"And remember, our sponsors tonight include Silph! Yes, Silph Company, for all your Pokemon-catching needs!"
"Not to be confused with the daemonette in Accounting."

The GB Ensemble Royal Rumble - Part 4

"Well, ladies and gentlemen, we are here tonight at Barbon's Fite Club and Tavern, currently scared out of our goddamn minds."
"It's chaos here tonight! Entry 15, Tiamat, has eliminated four competitors with barely any effort!"
"Easy enough to understand - she's a hundred feet tall and has six heads and powerful wind magic. How do you stand up against that? You don't. Not in a Rumble."
"At this time we'd like to thank our many sponsors for tonight's entertainment, including Sharp-Dressed Sturge, home of the new Bouteille Boutique line of clothing for generously proportioned ladies! OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"
"Anyway, the buzzer has just rung, but nobody is coming out."
"Guess they aren't interested in fighting Tiamat, and I don't blame 'em! OHOH-"
"Wait, hold on, someone's theme just started. Who is that?"

The GB Ensemble Royal Rumble - Part 3

"And we are BACK. We're coming to you LIVE at Barbon's Fite Club and Tavern, bringing you up-to-the-second coverage of the Royal Rumble, which itself is brought to you by Marrowmunch, crunch into a Marrowmunch now in feed bag size!"
"It's also brought to you by McMechos, home of the Double Triple Bossy Deluxe, a burger that would probably win this rumble if it forced the participants to eat it."
"For those just joining us, we have seen nine of the thirty entrants in the rumble, and two have been eliminated - and don't look now, but I think a third is about to follow!"

Skeiron and Gloria each grasped one of Constructor X's feet.

"READY?"
"Yeah!"
"HEAVE!"

The construction mecha was still propping himself up by his hands after having been nearly eliminated by Garland, and now the summoner and WarMech aimed to shove his feet to the floor to finish the job. Wisps of steam began to leak from his soles, and Gloria realized what was happening just in time.

"NULFIRE!"

A protective red shield blipped into existence around the two partners, allowing the fire bursting suddenly from Constructor X's jet feet to wash over them harmlessly. Both the mage and her robot ally pushed and struggled, Skeiron making more headway for obvious reasons. Constructor X felt himself starting to slip, and dug in with his claw, trying to prevent being shoved off.

Cleptopod, still perched on a top rope, saw the struggle and decided to help eliminate a troublesome-looking contestant. Carefully, he aimed and threw his drill missile, which whirled through the air and slammed into the claw arm of Constructor X, knocking it out from under him. With less of a grip on the ground, the mecha was shifted more easily by Skeiron and Gloria...

The GB Ensemble Royal Rumble - Part 2

"Welcome back to the Royal Rumble! We are seconds away from the arrival of the sixth entrant!"
"Still haven't seen anyone worthy of winning this."

Garland continues to press forward, attacking Little Brother again and again, a smirk beginning to form underneath his helm.

"BIG BROTHER! HELP!"
"ON MY WAY!"
"What-"
Big Brother, having recovered from the Thunder spell, runs over Garland in his haste to aid his brother. The two damaged machines leap into the air and fuse together.

"MORPH BROTHERRRRS... CONSTRUCTORRRRRRR X!!"

BZZZZZZZ

The GB Ensemble Royal Rumble - Part 1

(IMPORTANT NOTE: The following story is non-canon and includes appearances from characters that are dead, presumed dead, or do not formally exist yet in ZFRP. Thank you.)

"OHOHOHOHOHOHOHO! Good evening, sports fans from around the globe!"
"It might be a good evening if I hadn't been roped into this."
"Oh hush now, this is gonna be great!"
"If I wanted to see a bunch of sweaty imbeciles punching each other I could do that from home."
"Come on, where's your spirit of adventure?"
"I think you killed it."
"ANYWAY!-

-We are coming to you LIVE from the newly rebuilt Barbon's Tavern and Fite Club, which has decided to ring in its' return in grand style!"
"Do tell."
"I'd love to, but for details of tonight's entertainment, we must turn to the referee."
"I should have known sarcasm would flit right over your malformed head."

Cutting Room Floor 7: Garland Edition

ColorChange: Question for Goops: is there a cutting room floor for the Garland fight?
GB: There is quite a bit of stuff that got left out
GB: Partly because of general circumstances not coming up
GB: And partly because so much insane shit was happening at once I just had no time
ColorChange: Ah
ColorChange: Show us D:
GB: Well
GB: The biggest thing that didn't happen is based off this foreshadowing from the bar
GB: 2 months ago - Mystery Knight slays the Great Ahriman of Earthgift Shrine
7 months ago - Scrap Metal Dug Up by Dr. Unne - Believed to be a Piece of the Legendary Omega
14 months ago - Infamous Scarmiglione Found Dead Outside Hellfire Chasm
3 years ago - Mysterious Purple Tentacle Washes up on Beach
5 years ago - Phantom Train Off the Rails - Mystery Challenger Derails the Fearsome Ghost
8 Years Ago - Graveyard Desecration - Corpses Litter Corneria Cemetery, Sword Marks on Local Grave
SteelKomodo: CORNERIA NO D:
SteelKomodo: WHERE'S STAR FOX WHEN YOU NEED THEM
SteelKomodo: (i may have made this joke before)
GB: See, Garland didn't kill Sarahdad
ColorChange: Wait, didn't we fight a few of those summons?
GB: We did
GB: But look at the last line
GB: This is from after we fought the summons, when Zeph and Gloria were doing research in the bar
ColorChange: . . . I don't like where this is going ;A;
GB: Garland didn't kill Sarahdad
GB: But he might have killed a necromancer along the way
SteelKomodo: ;^;
ColorChange: . . . Oh god what
ColorChange: No no no no no that's too sad
TheDeleter: well
GB: The idea was that he would go to the gravesite, summon the necromancer, and kill Zombie Sarahdad so he could summon Sarahdad
TheDeleter: that's terrible
GB: (It would probably have been the necromancer from Castle Crashers)
SteelKomodo: in the words of Orson Wells, "Why, that's terrible!"
GB: But due to having literally no time to write anything long like that during the fight Garland just beat the shit out of the girls instead
ColorChange: Ouch
GB: Next, here's a few unused summons Garland did not bring into any fights
GB: http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a135/Kracko/Zoofights/Golem.png
GB: http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a135/Kracko/Zoofights/Odin.png
GB: http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a135/Kracko/Zoofights/Rubicante.png
GB: http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a135/Kracko/Zoofights/SteelGiant.png
ColorChange: Oh fuck the All-Father
SteelKomodo: aw shit, I could have had Saxton Hale deck Odin in the face
SteelKomodo: "Don't you know you've been replaced by the globe-encompassing power of AUSTRALIAN CAPITALISM?!"
GB: At some point, Electra was going to do this: http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a135/Kracko/Zoofights/ElectraCharge1.png
SteelKomodo: she still needs to do that
SteelKomodo: swear to god
GB: There's also this guy: http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a135/Kracko/Zoofights/GreenNinjaFFTMugshot.png
SteelKomodo: NINJAS =D
GB: This ninja was going to be working for Garland as an assistant
GB: maybe
ColorChange: RAIN YOU FIEND
GB: In truth I was confused about what his alliance would be
GB: I think at one point he was actually a concerned Mysidian coming to warn people about Garland, but he's one of those weird Japanese types who only gives up information if you prove yourself worthy
GB: So yeah, didn't know what to do with him and I had more than enough characters running around anyway, so he got dropped
ColorChange: I was going to have this be Zephyrus' swan song, but with Antoinette already dying I figured it'd end up just feeling like a repeat. So I axed it.
ColorChange: Oceanus would've lived to see the fight's end if he didn't deal with the fearsome foot of the tractor.
GB: Also, there is a major villain possibility for Browny if he ever does anything prominent again
ColorChange: So I had to emergency-draft Wheatley for a slow speed boat chase
ColorChange: . . . I read that as Browny being a major villain
SteelKomodo: ^
SteelKomodo: D:
GB: I saw that wording too. No, he doesn't have it in him
ColorChange: So now instead of Zephyrus becoming a corpse, he becomes a mechanic
ColorChange: Lets hope he can figure out how to fix a deadbro!
GB: He dropped off later in the year because people kept joining the police force and I wanted to do things with all of them together
ColorChange: D: Browny
GB: Browny was also very difficult to make a strong character out of, it seemed like
GB: He's so formal

Where We Stand

So Erebus recently did a thing where he basically listed off all his characters and his current thoughts on them and where they're going. I liked this idea so I'm doing it too!

I had kind of wanted Widow Maker to remain in baby form for longer, but alas various fites and plotline requirements forced her to grow up fast. I know the baby has her fans, so don't fret - eventually I'm sure she'll slip up in the arena or out in the city, and we will once more be graced with her baby form in all of its baffling cuteness. I'm glad the mantis finally got her plot thread - her never getting a real one was something that bugged me last year, especially since the plot I had planned for her got scuttled due to... outside circumstances.

Writing Sarah without Alex has been less of a challenge than I'd anticipated. I once said that with Alex gone I would retire Sarah because there wasn't enough to her character beyond the pairing, but I feel that's been proven false by this year. Alex and I were going to collaborate a little on a proper explanation from the knight himself on why he's been gone and will remain gone, but she's been too busy I suppose.

I think Celestia is really starting to come into her own now. For too long she was used almost exclusively as a robot-fixing plot device, not really getting a chance to do much else. Lately, though, she's been making more appearances and doing more interesting things with her technology, and her current connection to Pit and his alter ego is certainly entertaining. I believe she's risen up to equal footing with Widow Maker and Sarah.

Skeiron was pretty active in the first chunk of this year, playing a role in the biker plot and pirate adventure, but he's done little more recently. Last week I downgraded Skeiron to the Secondary Characters section in the Ensemble to reflect his lesser role (I think Josephine has passed him in importance as well). I like the rivalry he's built with Artemis. Skeiron usually doesn't get that sort of character interaction.

I've got a good idea of how to use Browny. The one-night post office adventure is an example of what I think Browny'd be good at - he'd wander into the bar with a police case, and people could assist him and/or Samson with the job. Simple, one-night encounters and battles, the sort of plot Jumpropeman says he likes. Good to just jump right in with.

Clippy has been quiet recently, but I have a few ideas of what to possibly do with him. I can't retire the character yet - third place in the Big Bar Brawl deserves better than that!

Making Sarah's sisters unique was a great idea. Josephine is fun to write and a nice contrast to Sarah and it's nice just knowing that Sarah's sisters are seeing the same sort of benefits she is from abandoning some of their old world's values and traditions that no longer apply in Manhattan. The main thrust behind Gloria and Ariel as well as Electra is that they have fairly interesting lives just like the kobbers, but only know the bar through friends/family (Sarah, Celestia, and Widow Maker). Sort of a "but that's a story for another day" thing. You don't know everyone's story in real life, so it stands to reason the RPverse would also have minor characters that are still interesting, it's just their lives happen "offscreen", if you follow.

If you were curious as to what's become of The Swarm, I'm not certain myself. Best guess is that they're holding down the fort at Widow Maker's summer home. When Del posted that the Beer Garden Frogs had all died and were replaced by their offspring, that made me look up praying mantis and stag beetle ages. Regardless, tarantulas can live for decades so at least those are fine.

In case anyone is wondering about Gust, M Sheep is preparing a sendoff for the character. As always, it's amazing to think what the whim of the tractor can accomplish. If Gust hadn't gotten a string of good rolls, he would have gone down like a bitch just like all the other bikers, and the Dr. Bulgrave plot may have ended very differently. Gust was instrumental in making the villains of that plot more likable and less "BLARG I AM THE DARKNESS THAT CRAWLS IN THE HEARTS OF MEN". He was an ordinary guy wrapped up in events he only sort of understood, and he met a lady along the way. As for the good doctor himself, he is essentially retired, but due to him still being alive, one never knows when he could cameo.

While our current very small player base practically requires everybody to manage a stable of characters to keep the place from being a ghost town, I still definitely don't need any more dudes. I've got at least one more character I've considered bringing in a few times, but the roster is just too crowded, even with Bulgrave and Gust out of the way. Maybe Sarah and pals will go on a family vacation...

Character Debuts

The GB Ensemble now has dates for when every major and secondary character first appeared. Because people care about when I started pretending to be a WarMech.

I'll also post the dates here in a timeline format:

August 15, 2010: The ZF5 bonus match between Widow Maker and Marlin the Magnificent is announced.
May 30, 2011: Hella Jeff demands to know where the nanchoes are.
June 9, 2011: Four white mages make their first appearance to surgineer Widow Maker.
July 1, 2011: Jumpropeman bets the Five-Mantis Band on Cash Cow.
July 3, 2011: The Necronomitron awakens.
July 12, 2011: Sweet Bro makes his first appearance.
July 14, 2011: The Nostronomitron is born.
July 30, 2011: WarMech-1 appears, communicating to Tiamat about finding Sarah.
July 31, 2011: Biollante appears in rose form.
August 1, 2011: The WarMech Leader is introduced.
August 3, 2011: WarMech-3 says his first line.
August 15, 2011: The Martian and Biollante combine into Biollante's final form to combat the Lord.
August 31, 2011: Marilith attacks the bar.
September 9, 2011: The first of Kraken's multiple attempts to accomplish something. Anything at all.
September 16, 2011: Cagnazzo crosses the ocean.
September 17, 2011: Lich's first line.
October 9, 2011: Shuma-Gorath pranks Oceanus by dumping live tarantulas on him. Sarah gathers up a few to give to Widow Maker as a get-well gift.
October 14, 2011: Zephyrus gives Widow Maker two beetles as gifts.
March 2, 2012: 'Unit 1' appears in a blog post.
March 22, 2012: Dr. Bulgrave makes his debut in the blog post "Origins".
April 15, 2012: The Storm Bikers drive out the Excite Bikers from Manhattan.
May 8, 2012: Browny makes his first forum appearance to arrest Blade.
May 16, 2012: Dr. Bulgrave introduces himself to the Storm Bikers.
May 24, 2012: Sarah is reunited with Josephine.
June 12, 2012: Clippy leaves Widow Maker's PC for the first time.

The GB Ensemble (Updated July 31)

This post is a database of all of my characters, items they've collected, locations I've added to the Zoofights RP-verse, and food and drink I've contributed to the bar. As the stylish gif above says, this page is Under Construction, and will be edited to stay up to date with new information from blog posts or RP. See the title of the post for the date it was last updated.