peter no: "Bonnie often wished he was a normal rabbit, instead of a six-foot tall, one ton robot that looked a bit like a rabbit. For a start, he wouldn't smell of weed and alcohol. He'd smell of the morning dew, and maybe rabbit poop sometimes. Sure, he'd risk myxomatosis or being eaten by a fox, but that horrible, prolonged death seemed preferable to another minute alongside Freddy Fazfuck."
peter no: A line from an abandoned blogpost I've got
---
Harpy: *tries to type np*
Harpy: *sends out a message saying "no" instead*
Harpy: i have ruined lives with these hands.
---
Moniter Sheep: Del, are you seriously telling me there's going to be another Bubsy game?
Moniter Sheep: What a time to be alive
Draco: That's, what, the fifth sign of the apocalypse?
---
Moniter Sheep: Fite:>Longtime fans of Fite Island might wonder what the island does between its bloody battles to the death,
Moniter Sheep: I, for one, assumed it was working on diversifying its portfolio.
---
Jumpropeman: >Dracula at the concert
Jumpropeman: this is it, the moment like 8 separate video games have prepared me for
Jumpropeman: I must kill Dracula once more
Draco: How many times must we teach you this lesson, old man?! D:< *beats up Dracula*
---
RubyChao: BETHESDA BUGS, 2003: sometimes this character walks funny
BETHESDA BUGS, 2007: these two guards are walking inside each other
BETHESDA BUGS, 2011: this dragon has clipped into whiterun castle and killed 15 plot-essential NPCs
BETHESDA BUGS, 2018: we fucking deleted the whole game
---
RubyChao: so
RubyChao: because of the sale
RubyChao: i now own
RubyChao: Hyperdimension Neptunia vs. Sega Hard Girls
Dr. Demento: good
Jumpropeman: excellent
Jumpropeman: maybe one day I'll dust off my special edition of it
Draco: Woot
Draco: Too bad you can't buy people FF14 subscriptions. I would give JRM some more time with Ingrid.
pizza time: Aaaargh
pizza time: indigestion woke me up
Jumpropeman: SK rises from his grave!
Jumpropeman: hi man
Jumpropeman: sucks to hear
pizza time: So Whassup
Draco: Hi SK.
Draco: Welcome back....TO HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELL
Draco: It's the infectious madness of JRM'S BIRTHDAY!
Draco: He gets the gift of six months of rest before having to do more RP!
Jumpropeman: it's just what I always wanted!
RubyChao: link
Draco: Is that you, JRM? Are you a...Star Citizen?
Jumpropeman: draco continues his quest to spread the word of FMV games
Jumpropeman: thanks for the gift, drac!
pizza time: Happy birthday, jrm!
Jumpropeman: thanks dude!
Jumpropeman: chao
Jumpropeman: finally
Jumpropeman: I've been waiting for the day I'd get that North Korea game :V
RubyChao: state-mandated fun.
Jumpropeman: thanks friend
Jumpropeman: I will enjoy it within safe outlined parameters
RubyChao: friendship is an illusion, there is only the state
RubyChao: (you're welcome!)
Jumpropeman: don't be silly Chao
Jumpropeman: the state is your friend
Jumpropeman: your father
Draco: You're welcome, Comrade Ropeman.
Draco: Now play the Glorious Leader's Video Game Bestseller Revolutionary Title Call of Duty Best Edition Plus Plus.
Draco: Game he made himself so all the people of Glorious People's Republic of North Korea can celebrate forevermore.
---
(Re: Smash Ultimate)
SteelKomodo: WHAT THE FUCK
Dels at Work: HAHAHAHAHA PIRANHA PLANT
SteelKomodo: I'M LAUGHING
SteelKomodo: FUCK YOU GRINCH LEAK BELIEVERS
mobilevel: PIRANHA PLANT???
Gooper Blooper: I cannot possibly think of a better way to tell every single leak, everywhere, to get fucked than by going "OH YEAH? HERE'S PIRANHA PLANT"
Dels at Work: everyone's dead kirby
Dels at Work: everyone?
Dels at Work: yes kirby, everyone
---
Munster Sheep: When burgers that are not a mess to eat become the standard experience across the dining world
Munster Sheep: then humanity will have truly entered a golden epoch
---
Gooper Blooper: If it wasn't obvious the meme would be long dead six months from now I'd absolutely consider doing a Grinch Plot where he heads a gang called The Grinch Leak consisting of everyone from the leak who isn't in Smash
RubyChao: same :V
---
Harpy: ivel marry me
Harpy: right now
ivel: okay :U
Harpy: just fuckin do it
ivel: I do
Harpy: I LOVE HOW NON-HESITANT YOU ARE
ivel: of course :U
Harpy: is a ring pop a suitable replacement for a wedding ring
Gooper Blooper: XD
ivel: for me, yes
ivel: just don't expect me not to eat the ring
---
Harpy: i'm working on my sumi cosplay for next year
---
Gooper Blooper: I saw people on GameFAQs talking earlier that the site dodged a bullet by not having a character contest at the height of FNAF's popularity
Gooper Blooper: Imagine Freddy Fazfuck memeing his way to the top
Jumpropeman: dongs would be inhaled to an unprecedented degree
Draco: lel
RubyChao: ahahahaha
---
Jumpropeman: "And best of all, quarter water is forever safe now."
Jumpropeman: Keahi's wrap-up: dumping all the quarter water in a toxic landfill
Draco: >:I
Draco: How dare you poison that toxic landfill?
---
Jumpropeman: Detective Pikachu has a revolutionary new idea for fiction: rather than the adult telling the kid not to go investigate potentially dangerous stuff only for the kid to do so anyway, the adult realizes doing so won't stop him so he supports the kid as best he can
Jumpropeman: of course, this is after he does the expected "DON'T GO INVESTIGATIN" for the first case :V
---
Brinehammer: Twice now a less than good Angel has won for me, lol
RubyChao: congrats, dude :D
MobileDraco: Scylla is a perfect angel. Don't know what you're talking about. ;V
---
Jumpropeman joined the chat
Harpy: boip!
Jumpropeman: I can't believe I was boiped before I could boip!
Harpy: you shoulda boiped faster
---
Harpy: godzilla v megalon is basically a tag match nobody informed the kaiju about
Harpy: the introductory fight of the Kaiju Wrestling Foundation
Harpy: federation
Harpy: my bad
Harpy: can't remember words ivel said
ivel: only me specifically though
Harpy: aside from "I love you" and... others
ivel: like "you're a dork"
Harpy: i was thinking something else but yes you do say that a lot
Harpy: what baffled me was the complete lack of introduction to these star players
Harpy: like "who are you people, why should i care"
ivel: or "Do not pursue Lu Bu"
Harpy: also the ugliest prop i have ever seen
Harpy: i hate that boat so goddamn much
Harpy: how is he controlling it
Harpy: how is he paddling
Harpy: god it looks so stupid
Gooper Blooper: link
Harpy: ivel was like "hey gino's gonna ride that" and i was like "if you do that i will come over to your house and kill you"
ivel: thank you Goops
Harpy: jiopffgughkop THIS BOAT ANGERS ME SO MUCH
Draco: I've actually got the MST3K Godzilla vs Megalon episode on DVD before that box set got pulled because they forgot to get the rights to Godzilla vs Megalon. X)
Harpy: SO MUCH HATE
Draco: When that set was rereleased it came with a different movie in its place. Reptilicus, I think.
ivel: welp
Draco: So if you already had that set, you could buy the replacement movie separately.
Harpy: this fucking boat will haunt my dreams
Draco: That boat... XD
Harpy: it'll be in race yer mates
Harpy: and i swear i will scream
Draco: It should've been in last year.
Gooper Blooper: it doesn't work as well in our new setting but it's not too late, quick, someone use the dolphin paddler in their wrapups
Harpy: "here lies harpy: can't handle my sweet dolphin bote"
ivel has Prinnynaut ride it into the sunset
---
Gooper Blooper: valhalla update
Harpy: ...zfrp.jpg
Draco: *Allison
Jumpropeman: amen Dorothy
M Sheep: Now there's an image
Gooper Blooper: I'm gonna have a lot of fun RPing as Jill. She's my kind of character and fits ZFRP so perfectly it's absurd
---
Harpy: i was trying to watch The Return of Godzilla
Harpy: but amazon prime didn't have it
Harpy: netflix didn't have it
Harpy: so uh
Harpy: i had to pretend i knew shit about pirating
Harpy: :U
Harpy: torrenting rather
Draco: Bummer.
Harpy: and while that happened i just decided to watch Gammera [sic] the Invincible
Gooper Blooper: they typoed it once and now it's too late and the movie is called that forevermore
Harpy: aw darn i may have lost the best bits of my live watching in space chatzy
Gooper Blooper: You sent me a PM of the whole thing, harpy, check your sent messages
Harpy: GOOD THING I DID THAT
Draco: yay :D
Harpy: Brandon Carter: "RUSSIANS"
Brandon Carter: even in 1950, the russians are to blame
Harpy: clearly the best comment ever made
Harpy: thanks me
Gooper Blooper: just wait until Return Of Godzilla when the Russians strike back
Harpy: also included: me being irrationally angry about high heels and how a guy drinks his coffee
Harpy: "Brandon Carter: flirting in the 50s is some shit
Brandon Carter: "buttery clothes"
Brandon Carter: i'm sorry what
Brandon Carter: WELL RIDE HARD
Brandon Carter: how many times will these people say things that i could make lewd jokes about"
ivel: I'd say the most irrational is your hatred of that boat
ivel: IT DID NOTHING WRONG
Harpy: THAT BOAT EXISTED IN MY GENERAL DIRECTION
Harpy: THATS WHATS WRONG
Gooper Blooper: what we need is for someone in high heels to pilot the dolphin paddler
Harpy: dfjklflgjgklj
Harpy: NOOOOOOO
Jumpropeman: gamera is invincible?
Jumpropeman: damn, and I thought almost drowning him in a fite was inaccurate :S
Jumpropeman: *edits him to win every brawl he entered*
Draco: No, Gammera is invincible. Gamera is very much killable.
Jumpropeman: does Gammera have really nice legs
Harpy: depends on your POV
Draco: He's got legs longer than a street.
ivel: depends on what you're into, jrm
Harpy: will ruin your model train set
Draco moans "Lionel coin bank" mindlessly.
ivel: L̶̡͟I̢Ò͡͡Ń̡E͠͡L̕ C̷̡O̷I̸͝N͞ B̛A̸̶̢C̛K̛ ̷̢͜LI̷̢O͝NE̶Ĺ͝ ͞C̡͞Ơ̵I̸N ̀B́͘͜A̡͞N̡̢͡K L̷͏I̵̧ÒN̢̕E͠L ̷C͡O̧ÌN͏͘ ͝B̸͜A͏̸͟N̴K̸҉
Draco bleeds Certificates of Authenticity.
---
Draco: http://youtube.com/watch?v=kQllBwL8gZc
ivel: I liked watching that show
Gooper Blooper: It was a favorite of kid goopy
Gooper Blooper: I just really loved garfield in general
Harpy: i remember absolutely nothing!
RubyChao: when's garfplot
Gooper Blooper: probably never, but if it ever happens every event should be based on a different shitty garfield mobile game
Gooper Blooper: with garfield kart being the finale of course
Harpy: noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Jumpropeman: it would have nine events so we can kill garfield nine times
Jumpropeman: garfmegaplot
Harpy: *softly, megalomania plays*
Jumpropeman: i don't think I ever saw that garfield theme song
Jumpropeman: I always saw the one where the fun never ends
Gooper Blooper: That's the one they adopted for the second season onward, yeah
RubyChao: harpy
Gooper Blooper: and since this cartoon started in the 80s, most of us missed when they used this version
RubyChao: the eighth incarnation of odio:
RubyChao: Odie
Harpy: ye-
Harpy: *grabs knife*
Harpy: DON'T DO THIS TO ME, CHAO
Harpy: DUER CAN'T BE NICKNAMED ODIE, WE'RE NOT READY
ivel has Gino call Duer "Odie" from now on
Harpy: gino doesn't have the basis down
ivel: and? :U
Harpy: i'll end you
Draco: Garplot featuring Felix the Cat
---
Harpy: *shuffles awkwardly back into space chat to sperg at the void*
Harpy: and now i'm done sperging at the void
Draco: How was the void?
Harpy: it was okay
Harpy: lonely, but its the void so
Harpy: just watched The Return of Godzilla
Draco: Cool. That's a good one. :)
Harpy: solid 7/10
Harpy: can't fucking believe i laughed at the end tho
Harpy: i'm a terrible person
Harpy: the music didn't sound triumphant, sounded more like we're breaking up with Godzilla in the middle of a soap opera because we loved Mothra more. (or at least, i did.)
Draco: PFFFT XD
Gooper Blooper: "Brandon Carter: whAT HTE UFCK IS THAT" Harpy's reaction to Shockirus is pretty on point
---
Rogue Optimus Keyframe: Im sharing my strong smash opinions online
Rogue Optimus Keyframe: Such as
Rogue Optimus Keyframe: "I think it would be cool if Rayman got in"
Rogue Optimus Keyframe: And then going to sleep
Rogue Optimus Keyframe: New Splatoon lore
Rogue Optimus Keyframe: There's a bear out there
Jumpropeman: the statue must be true to life
Rogue Optimus Keyframe: I guess we needed a new threat after dealing with octopus north korea
Jumpropeman: Bear Russia
Rogue Optimus Keyframe: Brussia
Mitosis Sheep: Bears are real?!
Rogue Optimus Keyframe: Yes
Brinehammer: No. Don't believe the pro-bear media.
Jumpropeman: the only real bear is the Koala
Rogue Optimus Keyframe: Don't believe Off the Hook's lies
Rogue Optimus Keyframe: Bears are real
---
ivel: "It’s great to dream about your favorite character joining the battle and I appreciate your passion, but please try to stay on topic when replying to tweets and refrain from flooding us, and other users, with requests when we're not specifically asking for feedback. Thank you!" It sucks that he had to tweet this out, because really
Everyone is Dead: i love this because it's "never ask me for anything ever again" basically
ivel: yup
MobileDraco: Wow. Twitter more like Shitter
VAMPIRE COAST: the final smash brothers direct. sakurai sits in his chair like normal. nothing is wrong but something is terribly wrong.
Everyone is Dead: the fact that he had to tweet this in english kinda sucks because it implies the complaining and requests got bad enough for him to do that?
VAMPIRE COAST: "hello," he says. "For this final direct, i wanted to do something very special for all smash brothers fans across the world."
Everyone is Dead: but that's basically what that tweet is
VAMPIRE COAST: an unknown nintendo salaryman is dragged into view by two yakuza, kicking and screaming. blissfully, sakurai brings out a disc
VAMPIRE COAST: "this is the master copy of super smash brothers omega. and unbeknownst to you all, i have infused it with dark power. a power that needs sacrifice"
VAMPIRE COAST: the yazuka shoot the salaryman in the head. his blood splatters over the disc. on the art, mario's eyes glow an acidic green
VAMPIRE COAST: sakurai begins to laugh
VAMPIRE COAST: im tired
Everyone is Dead: oh fuck D:
---
Draco: Budget Okuu
RubyChao: gotta say that budget okuu is a really cute pic
Draco: She's going to be just like Okuu too except short, smart, and not hungry.
ivel: still a burd?
Draco: Still a burd!
---
Jumpropeman: gooper profiles: "She has an artificial arm and doesn't like to talk about why." *revs up the Shimmer engines* TOO BAD LADY
---
Meiosis Sheep: JRM epilogues: I thought for sure the satellite was going to be one of the sentient, football-obsessed satellites from that that webcomic-thing I think Del linked a ways back.
RubyChao: football 17776 and car boys were both highlights of 2017
Jumpropeman: this particular satellite is based on an old LEGO toy I had, but the comparisons were inevitable I realize
---
RubyChao: tindeck update:
RubyChao: it's alive over three months past when it was supposed to die
RubyChao: good work??
Jumpropeman: it's so dead they can't even bother to take it down
Jumpropeman: it's like asking a corpse to bury itself
---
RubyChao: "The Moon Ball in Pokémon Gold and Silver is supposed to be good at catching Pokémon that evolve with a Moon Stone. Since only a select few species evolve this way, this alone makes it too absurdly specific to be useful. What really makes it useless is that the developers goofed and instead made it have a higher catch rate on Pokémon that evolve with a Burn Heal (read: no Pokémon), essentially making it a glorified Poké Ball. The remakes fixed this."
Jumpropeman: watch
Jumpropeman: Gen 8 is gonna add so many pokemon that evolve with burn heal
Draco: Maybe that Burn Heal is for the sick one the Moon Ball just got.
Jumpropeman: then you'll wish you had the old moon ball
RubyChao: imagine curing your pokemon with a burn heal
RubyChao: and then suddenly it's evolving
Draco: Into a Shuckle.
Jumpropeman: since fire pokemon can't be burned, it would be an interesting way to evolve a fire pokemon into a non-fire type
---
FLUFFY: tomorrow i'm cravin dunkin
FLUFFY: or maybe sarku
FLUFFY: or something
FLUFFY: time for me to eat a boigah?
FLUFFY: then to chop my hair off >:3
Bree joined the chat
Bree: eyyyy dufes
RubyChao: hi bee
FLUFFY: thats an awkward time to join!
Bree buzzes around Chao
Bree: every time is an awkward time to join with you fuckers
FLUFFY: WELL
---
N Goat: Tonight on HxH: An Octopus' Emotional Journey
N Goat: I actually really liked this episode
Draco: Can we quote you on that?
N Goat: Talk to my publicist
Draco calls a javalina.
Mackerel Sheep joined the chat
Draco: Hi Sheep.
Draco: Can we quote N Goat on that?
Mackerel Sheep: Quote 'im on whatever you like, so long as I get my paycheck
---
Jumpropeman: "McDonald’s Canada weighs in on whether or not Ronald McDonald will be in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate"
Jumpropeman: "Hi Chris. Although seeing Ronald McDonald battle other characters in Smash Bros would be pretty neat, he will not be making an appearance in the new game as of right now."
Jumpropeman: >as of right now
Jumpropeman: McDLC confirmed
Mackerel Sheep: Unless the DLC is
Mackerel Sheep: HAMBURGLED
Jumpropeman: D'= *discards Ronald moveset I was making*
Mackerel Sheep: Listen, I'm just saying I wouldn't trust Mayor McCheese to oversee something this important
Mackerel Sheep: I mean, who even voted for the guy?
Mackerel Sheep: I sure didn't.
Jumpropeman: I prefer the stability of the Burger King Kingdom monarchy
Jumpropeman: the real missed opportunity with Burger King's pocket bike racer was not getting characters like Sir Shakesalot involved
---
Jumpropeman: a game developer sent me their game on steam, and it's one of those deliberately hard types. However, I am beginning to suspect that the developer has not actually beaten their own game
RubyChao: go on
Draco: o mai~
Jumpropeman: See, on the global achievement stats, there's an achievement for beating each level. No one has the achievements for beating the last levels, and only I have the achievements for a few of the last ones. Where I begin to share achievements with people is at the Alps level and earlier, and coincidentally, the game's youtube page has level beaten videos all the way up to the Alps by the developer
Jumpropeman: I sent a message to the developer pointing out I might be the only one to beat levels like Area 51 and Egypt and I'm on the forest level. Their reply? "hahaha the Alps level is hard!"
ivel: welp
M Sheep: Hmm
RubyChao: woooow
Gooper Blooper: That does sound ominous yes
Gooper Blooper: If ever there was a time for you to review a game without beating it, it would be a game that may be literally impossible to complete
M Sheep: Gives sort of the impression of shadiness
Draco: I...would hesitate to review this game.
RubyChao: what's the game?
Jumpropeman: Slingshot Explorer
ivel: just saw this review sending the site's link to Aeronaut
ivel: "Due to the opinions of the players, the level of difficulty has been reduced, which maybe was too high XD"
RubyChao: "Due to the opinions of the players, the level of difficulty has been reduced, which maybe was too high XD. It remains a difficult platformer, but now it is more accessible."
RubyChao: 2slow
ivel: :U
Jumpropeman: "You will need hours, hours and hours to finish it, as well as a lot of skill."
Jumpropeman: part of this description is a lie
Jumpropeman: the difficulty is literally random
Gooper Blooper: you only need hours and hours, not hours hours and hours
Draco: I mean, taking out the spike pit and leaving the bear trap and wrecking ball to get to the bathroom is technically more accessible.
Jumpropeman: that's the current level I'm on
Gooper Blooper: I don't know what's going on but it sure looks like a lot
Gooper Blooper: legends tell of a game that had random "either you win or you lose" gameplay that JRM ripped apart so thoroughly no traces remain
Gooper Blooper: but ancient whispers say it involved a ball that needed to be caught
Gooper Blooper: Oh, speaking of The Game Hoard, I was doing some cleaning earlier today
Gooper Blooper: and I found goddamn Dracula Crazy Vampire
Jumpropeman: are you ready to get C-c-c-c-cCRAAAAZY
Gooper Blooper: I thought I sold it over a decade ago, but no
ivel: plot twist: you did
ivel: it found its way back
Gooper Blooper: j-just like the cursed venonat
ivel: no traces remain of the person you sold it to...
ivel: 😱
---
RubyChao: oh hey
RubyChao: draco has a new avatar
RubyChao: it's good!
N Goat: I'LL BE THE JUDGE OF THAT
N Goat: Lemme just...
N Goat: open a new tab
N Goat: navigate to the forum
FLUFFY BIRB: welp
N Goat: Let's see, now what thread did Draco post in last
N Goat: Buh buh buh
N Goat: Probably not the tabletop subforum
FLUFFY BIRB: i, too, need a new avie
ivel: nah, it probably was
ivel: you should check
N Goat: oh
N Goat: yeah
N Goat: It looks good, Draco
MobileDraco: Thanks.
MobileDraco: The Teacups avatar was good, but we're moving on.
N Goat: We can never move on from
N Goat: Teacups
ivel: who's Teacups? I've already moved on
ivel: ;U
N Goat: >FLUFFY BIRB: i, too, need a new avie
N Goat: I'LL BE THE JUDGE OF THAT
ivel: you know who should be your new avatar, Harps
N Goat: Lemme just...
N Goat: open a new tab
N Goat: after closing that one
N Goat: navigate to the forum
FLUFFY BIRB: who should it be
N Goat: This
ivel: Sheep plz
FLUFFY BIRB: sheep i will cut you
N Goat: link
FLUFFY BIRB: i will hunt you down, sheep
FLUFFY BIRB: how could you hurt me this way
N Goat: link
MobileDraco: Gasp
N Goat: https://imgflip.com/i/2meb55
N Goat hangs up keyboard
N Goat: I can't allow this to hurt anyone, ever again
ivel: not even your characters?
FLUFFY BIRB: I
FLUFFY BIRB: I HATE THIS SO MUCH
FLUFFY BIRB: BUT I'M LAUGHING
FLUFFY BIRB: this is basically ivelavatar.jpg
MobileDraco: Amazing. ;o;
FLUFFY BIRB: edit it to say "WE'RE AT THE BEST PART OF RP, HARPY"
FLUFFY BIRB: then ivel can use it as an avatar or something
FLUFFY BIRB: then i can be terrified.
MobileDraco: @w@
FLUFFY BIRB: oh no
MobileDraco: Seatopia did us a favor destroying that toy. They sent Megalon to the surface to ensure no more would be made.
FLUFFY BIRB: they did.
FLUFFY BIRB: the only good thing they did.
N Goat: for ivel
---
Jumpropeman: Schnee is German for snow and it is the superior word for it
Jumpropeman: just imagine a bunch of kids running outside screaming SCHNEEEEEEEEEEEE
---
Dels at Work: i really wanna like
Dels at Work: watch vs megalon
Dels at Work: and gamera vs guiron back to back
Dels at Work: just take in the pure cheese
Dels at Work: "They started making my nose and they couldn't stop!"
SteelKomodo: "I know, don't laugh! They made me in a hurry!"
---
Gooper Blooper: just when I thought I'd seen everything in combat robots
Gooper Blooper: this fucking thing showed up
Jumpropeman joined the chat
Gooper Blooper: not him
Draco: Wow. Those robots are HUGE.
birb.: WHAT A FUCKIN BULLY
birb.: WOW
Gooper Blooper: They're 250-pounders, same weight class as Battlebots
birb.: bullied into submission
Draco: Mammoth just looks TALL.
birb.: and menacing.
Gooper Blooper: Mammoth apparently lost a match later when one of their
opponents drove inside them and they couldn't reach to push them out
Draco: That's amazing.
birb.: bulli has been bullied.
Draco: Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
birb.: BUFFALOMAN!
---
Gooper Blooper joined the chat
birb.: hi ho goop
Gooper Blooper: hello friends
Gooper Blooper: have I got a story for you
birb.: oh?
Gooper Blooper: The GameFAQs character battle just had one of the best matches I have ever seen in all my years of following it
F-Chao GX: hi goopy!!
birb.: *pauses son of godzilla*
birb.: *rubs hands together*
birb.: *and also layers herself with blankets because fuck it's cold*
Gooper Blooper: The match in question was Tifa Lockhart (Final Fantasy 7) vs Mega Man X
birb.: oh god
Gooper Blooper: Match started at 7 PM yesterday, they were even for a minute and then MMX took the lead
F-Chao GX: Eager.jpg
Gooper Blooper: He held the lead firmly until the wee hours of the morning, when Europe began to wake up
Gooper Blooper: As it turns out, Mega Man characters always do much worse in the wee hours when Europe wakes up, because Mega Man is incredibly unpopular there for whatever reason
Gooper Blooper: GameFAQs keeps track of demographics in poll voting with a map, and Tifa was shown to have commanding leads in countries across the pond
F-Chao GX: mega wrecked
Gooper Blooper: Most of GameFAQs' userbase is American, but that Europe vote is enough to swing a close match
Gooper Blooper: This morning, Tifa took the lead and began to build a lead of her own, getting about 200 votes up on X
birb.: maybe they don't hate X.
birb.: they just like tiddy more.
Gooper Blooper: Around noon, everything just stops. Tifa and X are deadlocked, Tifa clinging to a very slowly shrinking lead as X very very slowly chips away at it as more and more Americans vote in the poll and tip things back towards him
Gooper Blooper: Suddenly, X gets a rush of votes and propels into the lead. Board 8, the GameFAQs contest discussion board, puts out feelers to see what's going on
Gooper Blooper: A rally for Mega Man X had appeared on the Mega Man subreddit
Gooper Blooper: Not to be outdone, someone else slaps up a rally for Tifa on the Final Fantasy subreddit
birb.: the rallies are real
Gooper Blooper: So now they're both rallying, but the demographics favor X. Europe's votes are running low as the day grows late there, and it seems likely Tifa can't mount a comeback
Gooper Blooper: Enter a user named "ExThaNemesis", who I've seen on Board 8 since roughly the Cretaceous Period
birb.: pffft
Gooper Blooper: He laments there are so few places to rally FF characters since GameFAQs is basically their stronghold already
F-Chao GX: this gonna be good
Gooper Blooper: "Where could one go to rally for Tifa?" he asks. Someone jokingly answers "Try GameFAQs, I hear they like final fantasy"
Gooper Blooper: Then someone, tongue planted firmly in cheek, suggests
Gooper Blooper: the hentai subreddit
birb.: i knew tiddy was involved
F-Chao GX: oh shit
Gooper Blooper: Ten minutes later someone has posted a rally on the hentai subreddit
F-Chao GX: OH SHIT
birb.: oh my god
MobileDraco joined the chat
birb.: *grabs a seat for draco and also popcorn
Gooper Blooper: They then proceeded to post rallies on r/rule34 and a few other... kinky corners of reddit
MobileDraco: wot
birb.: *COUGH*
birb.: woa
Gooper Blooper: gamefaqs madness, draco
F-Chao GX: >a few other kinky corners
F-Chao GX: go on
birb.: chao no
F-Chao GX: chao yes
birb.: CHAO NO
F-Chao GX: CHAO ALWAYS YES
Draco teleports home for gamefaqs madness.
Gooper Blooper: #lewd: r/futanari, complete with a related picture of Tifa
birb.: I WILL SUBJECT YOU TO-
F-Chao GX: bwahahahahahaaaaaa
birb.: ...
ivel: Chao yes :U
ivel: wow
birb.: oh my sweet mother of jesus
F-Chao GX: but
F-Chao GX: we have to know
F-Chao GX: did it work?
birb.: i made a noise vaguely similar to a godzilla thing
Gooper Blooper: Tifa was back in the lead in less than thirty minutes.
birb.: while laughing
birb.: not sure
F-Chao GX: AHAAHAHAHHAAHAAAA
birb.: how that happened
Gooper Blooper: raise your dongers
Draco: LOL
Draco: No.
birb.: don't think with your heart, think
birb.: with your dick!
Gooper Blooper: Then MMX took the lead back.
birb.: oh
Gooper Blooper: Then Tifa took it again
Gooper Blooper: With thirty minutes to go they were locked in a tie
ivel: I'm sure she did on those subreddits
F-Chao GX: i can't wait to hear the clincher
Gooper Blooper: Incidentally, since you have to vote on every match and three other matches were happening, the other matches felt the effects of the rallies as well
Draco: lel
Gooper Blooper: KOS-MOS got a slight bump against Ryu, but the real weird part was that the porn rallies also helped Tails and Amaterasu
Gooper Blooper: draw your own conclusion
birb.: i have an image ready to go
birb.: they have good taste
ivel: oh god
ivel: Harpy no
Gooper Blooper: Quote from ExThaNemesis: "Whoever suggested we rally the hentai subreddit, you're a f***in' genius."
Draco: Only a slight bump? Did the hentai boards not realize KOS-MOS is a robot LADY or is Ryu just that good?
Gooper Blooper: Quote from a user named paulg: "Well, I think we know where to rally for Bowser when he goes up against Kirby in 24 hours."
birb.: everybody has a boner for ryu, draco
birb.: asduifdiojgdfko
birb.: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Draco: Dang. D:
Gooper Blooper: Yeah, I don't get it either but KOS-MOS benefited the least of the four characters losing :V
Gooper Blooper: Bowsette boost is real
ivel: there was probably another subreddit involved for those two
ivel: to be fair
birb.: leave kirby alone.
birb.: : , (
Gooper Blooper: The final half hour of the match consisted of Tifa slowly increasing her lead until she was too far out of reach for MMX to make up the ground in the time he had left
Gooper Blooper: And thus Tifa's boobs were victorious and she advances to Round 4 to face Luigi
ivel: good
birb.: well
F-Chao GX: beautiful
Gooper Blooper: As an added bonus, guess who was really, really, REALLY UPSET
F-Chao GX: blaaaack
F-Chao GX: turtleeeeee
Gooper Blooper: Good ol' Black Turtle erupted in hatred and bile, yelling about basement-dwelling neckbeards being the reason Tifa won
Gooper Blooper: and calling ExThaNemesis a hypocrite because he didn't like the Draven and Undertale rallies but helped spearhead this one
birb.: i mean
birb.: ??!!??!
Draco: Man, piss off, Black Turtle.
birb.: anyway my reaction
Gooper Blooper: There's a difference between "nudge a close match in favor of your gal" and "bring in thousands of people to turn a jobber into a champion"
Draco: Palutena pls
birb.: and also this
Gooper Blooper: And last but not least
Gooper Blooper: Tifa's final vote total
birb.: >69
birb.: nice
F-Chao GX: A+
Gooper Blooper: ten minutes before the poll closed her lead was 69, too
Draco: Wow. Just over a hundred vote difference.
Gooper Blooper: And so ended one of the best matches I've seen in years
Gooper Blooper: it had everything
Gooper Blooper: lead changes, comebacks, turtle salt, and boobs
(later)
Pirate Booty: that gamefaqs story might have been the most interesting the gamefaqs character polls have ever been
Pirate Booty: Thanks goops
M Sheep: It was certainly a modern day epic
---
birb. changed name to goat.
Jumpropeman: baa
goat.: baaaa
goat.: there was not enough goats in my RP
goat.: i am
Jumpropeman: baaaaa humbug
goat.: slightly disappointed
goat.: I'll think of a goat kaiju then we'll be gucci
---
(Re: Godzilla vs Hedorah)
RIP Netgear: couch is cozier than chair so i’m just waiting for dad to get back so i can be baffled at a godzilla movie
Gooper Blooper: gotta see dat smoggy boi
RIP Netgear: the fact that you said that means this movie is automatically cursed
---
Gooper Blooper: I've been out of the Pokemon TCG for a while, I don't think I have anything more recent than Crimson Invasion
Gooper Blooper: I'll probably end up with some cards for Christmas from somebody though
Jumpropeman: ah yes, Crimson Invasion, when Pokemon TCG tried communism
Gooper Blooper: :V It was actually the set where they introduced Ultra Beasts
RIP Netgear: Time to dump a ton more cards in your box goops
Jumpropeman: having every booster pack contain all the commons while only the rich got the holos was controversial though
---
Gooper Blooper: I used to be part of a forum that had a like/dislike system and back then it was jolly good fun but it wouldn't have worked on a forum like ours even if the feature wasn't broken
Jumpropeman: what we could've done
Jumpropeman: instead of vote on fites
Jumpropeman: you just like or dislike the vote post
Jumpropeman: Brawl voting would be a mess though
Gooper Blooper: Fite Yer Mates: Facebook Edition
Gooper Blooper: "Like this post for Puddlenaut, dislike for Kisha"
RIP Netgear: I hate
Gooper Blooper: "if likes outnumber reblogs than RainbowDash wins the brorl"
N Goat: It's going to be her year
---
Gooper Blooper: When I was a toddler, Goopsmom apparently had big plans for me
Gooper Blooper: "he's gonna be real smart and he's gonna do great in school and he's not gonna be like those kids that play video games all the time"
Gooper Blooper: "no vidya in this house"
RubyChao: whoops
Draco: Something went wrong with the plan.
derp: w
derp: WOW
derp: UM
Gooper Blooper: What went wrong was that despite my age I was still old enough to figure out how to play Space Invaders on her 2600, I guess she figured I wasn't going to try?
Gooper Blooper: Then when it broke I was super upset and she knew I had to get a new console
Gooper Blooper: So I got a Genesis for my fourth birthday and the rest is history
Draco: Awwwww
derp: major keks
Gooper Blooper: I mentioned last August that Goopsmom got into playing Pac-Mania because we saw Pixels
Gooper Blooper: she's still fucking playing pac-mania.
Gooper Blooper: every day.
ivel: aw
RubyChao: hahahahahaaaaaa
Gooper Blooper: This is the new Ron Paul Sign Update, Goopsmom Is Still Playing Pac-Mania
Gooper Blooper: her last high score was on the fourth of july but she won't quit, she won't surrender
derp: i mean
derp: would you?
ivel: yes.
derp: I know YOU would, ivel
---
Jumpropeman: *random cirno vid in my recommended videos*
Jumpropeman: youtube's catching on
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