GB's Game Reviews, 2023-2024 Edition

What a year for gaming it's been for me! I'm used to playing games only in limited fits and starts during the warmer months of the year, as ZFRP ends up consuming a lot of the time I'd otherwise be using to play. However, things were different this time. For the first time in a long time, I found the energy and motivation to keep playing new games continuously throughout Season 13 of RP, and as a result of that (plus other factors like continued trips to Funspot and playing several compilations full of quick new additions to the blog) I played dozens of games this year. In fact, this might be an all-time record for me!

It felt good to get my bad experience with Mechstermination Force out of my system in last year's post, so I will be including a few more reviews in this post of games I played but didn't finish if I have something to say about the experience, positive or otherwise. (Xenoblade fans, I am sorry.) This time the reviews are in roughly the order I played the games, so things kind of hop around at times, but at other times you'll see a bunch of Mario, Sonic, or TMNT games clustered together as I stuck with a franchise for a bit.

With that out of the way, I hope you enjoy the largest GB game review blogpost ever!

A Flood Of Quickie Game Reviews

It's been a long time since I last posted any opinions of video games I've played on this blog. Funnily enough, I stopped not long before Jumpropeman launched The Game Hoard and became the de facto game reviewer of the community. He does a fantastic job at it and I couldn't compare... but after four years, I've decided to dig through the games I've beaten since the beginning of 2017 and share my thoughts on them. As a caveat, some of these memories are quite old, and I also skipped some games I just don't have much to say about. Let's get right to it.

GB's Vidya 2016: Year In Review

You guys know the drill by now! Every year I give a short review to every video game I beat in the past twelve months, ranking them from least favorite to most favorite as I try to find my favorite video game of the year. Two years ago I played only a handful of games, and last year I played a whole bunch but many of them were small, quick games played more for the blogpost than anything else. This year I focused on "major" games - only nine titles are represented (I have combined two of them into one entry, so there are eight reviews here), but the majority of them were long games I had to sink a lot of hours into. With three Pokemon games, two Ace Attorney games, and another RPG on top of that, I spent a lot of time gaming this year - just not on a lot of different games!

First, lemme just give a shoutout to last year's winner, Robot Arena 2. Just as I was finally tiring of it, I found another mod that completely overhauls the game, introduces a bunch of real-world robot opponents, and basically just breathes new life back into a well-worn game. I still mess around with this game almost daily, if only for a few minutes. Definitely deserved that win last year if I'm still playing the dang thing.

Let's get started.

GB's Vidya 2015: Year In Review

It's that time again! Every year I make a sequel to my 2012 "100 Games" series by reviewing every single vidya I beat that year. As usual, the only qualification for a game to make the list is that I completed the main objective. Sometimes legit, sometimes I cheese it, whatever - if I saw the end, I put it on the list and talk about it.

After last year's disappointingly short list, I knew I had to step up my gaming. I pulled it off, and this year's list is three times the length of last year's, clocking in at 15 titles. This is, however, still inferior to 2013's 21-strong roster.

Longtime readers will know the drill - I've ranked these games in a rough order from worst to first, but as usual I'm not that great at ranking, although I enjoy doing it - I can usually figure out the worst game and the best game pretty quickly, or at least make tiers, but ordering within a tier is not easy and can often change on a whim. Suffice it to say I consider everything I beat this year save the bottom-ranked game to be at least decent, and the bottom game was at least not offensively bad!

The crop this year is even more old and obscure than usual - 13 of the 15 games are over a decade old, and many of them are over two decades old. I hope to include some more mainstream titles next time, but I do prefer talking about games people don't know about, since you can only write "super mario 64 was a good game" so many times before people stop caring, y'know? Anyway, on with the show.

GB's Vidya 2014: Year in Review

Ouch. I didn't beat too many games this year. Nonetheless, I'm doing my yearly wrapup, ranking, and review!

I only finished five games all year, and two of them were disqualified for reasons you'll soon see. However, I beat two other games very late last year - so late that they missed the last writeup - so they are being added to this year's list, bringing me back to five games. Without further ado, here's the games I beat this year and my opinions on them!

Honorable Mentions: Pokemon Emerald and Crystal
Systems: Game Boy Advance and Game Boy Color
Developer: Game Freak
Publisher: Nintendo
Genre: RPG
Date Beaten: April 18 and April 22, 2014

Why are they honorable mentions? Because I can't really count them - I technically never beat Pokemon Emerald or Crystal until this year, but I had already beaten the near-identical Ruby, Sapphire, and Gold versions. I generally consider all of those near-identical "versions" to be the same game, so Ruby, Sapphire, and Emerald together are all "Pokemon GBA Hoenn" while Gold, Silver, and Crystal are all "Pokemon GBC Johto". Remakes like FireRed and LeafGreen are separate, however, so Omega Ruby will have its time at bat next year.

My Crystal run was a pure nostalgia run, although the ability to speed up play with the emulator made grinding bearable. The highlight of the run was finding a shiny Skarmory and adding it to the team. Later in summer I returned to Crystal and beat Kanto, capping things off with a nice fight against Red.

The Emerald run was... unconventional, thanks to the game being wrung through Pokemon Randomizer. You can get all the details about the upside-down world Ariel was thrust into here.

Chatzy Madness Volume 164: Pokemon XY Edition and Sarah Madness

Five Nights at Dels: Five Nights at Jonesy's: BOOZE GUNS BUTTS BOOZE GUNS conrad BOOZE BUTTS GUNS
Draco: Five Nights at Draco's: you better have your entrails cleaned up by morning or you're fired.
Draco: We aren't paying a Health Department fine 'cause you don't know how to close a door.
SteelKomodo: Five Nights at Dirky's: Closed >:I

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Superman 64 joined the chat
Superman 64: Guess which game I bought today
Gooper Blooper changed name to Pac-Man 2600

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(Harpy is hatching Cleffa eggs in Pokemon Y)

Harpy: THE LAST CLEFFA IS HATCHING
Harpy: Lax Cleffa
Harpy: really
Superman 64: The last cleffa is now in captivity
Superman 64: the universe is at peace

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Superman 64: my niece looks like Nana of the Ice Climbers in her winter coat

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Harpy: SECOND SWABLU EGG, GET
Harpy: carla's gonna have some nicely toned legs after this
Pac-Man 2600: josephine's biked like 7000 miles on her bike on route 7
Pac-Man 2600: her butt remains large
SteelKomodo: Dirk: Nah, all the biking's toned it~
Pit: Dirk, do you ever think of anything else?!
Dirk: You want the honest answer? :U
Pac-Man 2600: GOT IT
Pac-Man 2600: I got the scale
Pac-Man 2600: (no josephine not that one)
Harpy: okay now let's weigh the feebas
SteelKomodo: XD
Harpy: last swablu characteristic: nods off a lot
Harpy: bet that's not even good ivs
Harpy: *turns up nose*
Pac-Man 2600: I have four feebas eggs
Pac-Man 2600: let's see what I get
Superman 64: I'm betting you are going to get
Superman 64: Four Feebas
Pac-Man 2600: surely you jest
Pac-Man 2600 bikes heavily
Superman 64: *Egg hatches* Hi is Febas

Chatzy Madness Volume 162: Josephine's Good End

Deletons: i'm prob gonna run dungeon world at 5pm or something your time
Saberwulf: 5 PM my time's in 5 minutes
Deletons: huh
Deletons: uh
Deletons: fuck
Deletons: I CANNOT PLAN THINGS
Deletons: 6pm wulf time then
Deletons: fuck it we're doing it live
Deletons: DOING IT LIVE
Mobilewulf joined the chat
Deletons: oh
Mobilewulf: Five seconds after I said that my router died
Mobilewulf: WELP

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Draco: What would Blade call his original character?
RubyChao: Bblade
RubyChao: you stutter

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SpookKomodo: Dirk gonna conquer Josephine's landmass someday
SpookKomodo: (del told me to type this please don't kill me)
2Goopy: XD
2Goopy: careful dirk there's a lot to conquer, bring provisions
SpookKomodo: Oh, he'll bring provisions, all right
SpookKomodo: most of them chocolatey
2Goopy: hell yeah
2Goopy: note: josephine is absolutely going to vegas
2Goopy: I mean how could she not
RubyChao: High Rollersephine
RubyChao: hits the jackpot
RubyChao: buys the casino
RubyChao: starts raking in all the dough
RubyChao: good end

GB's Vidya 2013: Year In Review

Last year I made the twenty-one post series "GB's 100 Games", wherein I gave short writeups of 100 games I had beaten that I considered to be good or better. Since then, I've beaten over a dozen more video games. I've decided to make a sequel of sorts to 100 Games in the form of a "Year In Review" that gives writeups on every game I beat this year. In addition to that, I'll be putting the games in a rough ranking. Remember, the game can be released in any year, and I can first acquire the game in any year - as long as I first finished the game in 2013, it qualifies for the list.

First, however, to get them out of the way...

Unranked: A Horde of Atari Games
Trying to place all the new Atari 2600 games I played this year would be far too difficult. It's hard enough ranking such old games alongside modern ones as it is - with this many, it'd just be a pain and the list would be littered with them, so they all get shoved here.

Games in bold were played on an actual Atari 2600 with a cartridge. Games in italics were played on my Atari Flashback plug-and-play system.

Atari Climber - A game similar in some respects to Donkey Kong. You must climb from the bottom of the stage to the top, avoiding hazards and scoring points.

Atlantis - You control three cannons and try to shoot down flying ships that want to bomb your city. The cannons cannot aim or move, so timing is literally everything. Nice graphics for the 2600.

Demon Attack - A very similar game to Phoenix. Demon Attack is a static shooter in which you fight wave after wave of "demons". They come in many shapes, but they mostly behave the same.

Dragonfire - In this medieval quest, you alternate between two screens. The first screen is about jumping over and ducking under fireballs to reach a castle. Once there, you gather treasure for points while dodging the attacks of an angry dragon.

Off the Wall - I've never been good at Breakout-type games. Off the Wall is not an exception.

Secret Quest - One of the rare games on Atari that cries out for instructions. I can't give this Zeldaesque game a fair shake because I didn't know what to do a few levels in.

Space Jockey - Space Jockey is hurt by technical limitations - only three enemies are onscreen at once, making the game far too dull. A difficulty option to make the enemies move randomly may help your experience somewhat.

Video Checkers - Not sure how I'm supposed to win. The computer seems to counter my every move. Then again, I don't play much checkers.

Video Chess - Same problem - the computer consistently outfoxed me even on the lowest difficulty. I played chess a lot back in elementary school, and I don't remember being this bad at it.

Yar's Revenge - One of the strongest Atari games I've played. Yar's is more complicated than most Atari games, but it can be figured out pretty quickly, and it's a lot of fun. Once upon a time I had a Game Boy Color version of this game, but I wasn't any good at it and wound up selling the cartridge in a yard sale.

The Sarahkin Invade Your 3DS

Have you been up at night wishing that Ariel Sierra could make cameo appearances in your vidya? Don't worry, I won't tell anyone.

Thanks to a few afternoons of messing around in the Mii Maker, ol' Unca Goops  is here with a special gift: Six Miis based on ZFRP! All four of Celestia's kids are present and accounted for, but sadly the Mii Maker is quite limited in terms of non-standard humans so Celestia herself is impossible to make. Bringing the roster to six are two extra characters - one you'd expect and one you wouldn't!

To use these codes, grab your 3DS, open the Mii Maker, and find the option to get QR codes under the sharing settings. Then point the 3DS at your screen. The Miis should appear on your system.

EDIT: Click "Read More" for mugshots of the Miis.

GB's 100 Games: 50-46

Poop jokes, tanooki tails, robot deathmatches and the best damn photography game ever await you as we return to GB's 100 Games!

Additionally, I think a much better spot to place Mario 64 and Sunshine would be somewhere around here, maybe a tad higher.

GB's 100 Games Intermission: The Bad Game Awards

With 100 Games having reached the halfway point, I'm taking a break from it to shed some light on the opposite end of the spectrum: Games that sucked.

There are many ways a game can suck. Terrible music, poor controls, glitches and bugs interrupting or interfering with gameplay, and most importantly a game that is boring, too easy, too hard, or poorly designed. The existence of Big Dumb Vidya Games not only in my collection but on the list of 100 proves a game can have some blemishes - significant blemishes - and still earn high marks. But if a game is not fun, it has failed as a game.

A game can also be bad by association. If your expectations are high based on the past of the series or the developers, and the game falls short, you may think of it as a "bad game" even if it's not bad. It could be mediocre, or even good, but it was not able to match your expectations. This has happened to me a couple of times.

So with that in mind, let's review three games in three categories: The game that most disappointed me, a game that's so bad it's good, and the outright worst thing I've ever put in a video game system.

GB's 100 Games: 75-71

DOES EVERYBODY KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?

VIDYA TIME!!

Okay yeah, on reflection I definitely ranked Mario 64 and Mario Sunshine too low. But it's not like Mario had trouble finding his way onto this list, so whatever. Away we go with yet another batch of five games in the ongoing GB's 100 Games series. Over a fourth done, folks...

What Have I Become, Act II

Consider, if you will, a most interesting set of circumstances.

Two summers ago I roleplayed as a female character from the world of Final Fantasy. Another user's character took interest in mine, and eventually confessed their feelings. This character was a young idiot-hair-donning male with fair ability in both physical combat and magic. He was a friendly sort, and liked to eat stupid amounts of food. His design was based on his appearance in a video game that came out one decade after the one our setting took place in. Due to my characters interacting with this character so frequently, I grew to strongly like the character and enjoyed his appearances, and he became my favorite character in the user's roster.

I had been interested in the character's most prominent video game for a while, but it was Zoofights RP that led me to eventually make the purchase with my Christmas money. Because RP ruins everything, but it also makes you want to try new things.

Fast forward one year.

Last summer I roleplayed as a female character from the world of Final Fantasy. Another user's character took interest in mine, and eventually confessed their feelings. This character was a young idiot-hair-donning male with fair ability in both physical combat and magic. He was a friendly sort, and liked to eat stupid amounts of food. His design was based on his appearance in a video game that came out one decade after the one our setting took place in. Due to my characters interacting with this character so frequently, I grew to strongly like the character and enjoyed his appearances, and he became my favorite character in the user's roster.

I had been interested in the character's most prominent video game for a while, but it was Zoofights RP that led me to eventually make the purchase with my Christmas money. Because RP ruins everything, but it also makes you want to try new things.

"What is it?"
"Aside from being a 3DS game? I dunno. Help me flip it over."

"OH MY GOSH IS THAT-"
"Well, well, well. Look who's finally back in the business."
"Ooh, I should tell Mom about this! She'll be so happy for him!"
"In what way~?"
"WIDOW MAKER STOP THAT"
"Hahahahahahahaha-"

Chatzy Madness Volume 29: Snowmen With Shark Teeth

SteelKomodo: so an arrogant, andro, bisexual, Lawful Evil Merfolk prince and his Pirate Eidolon walk into a bar
SteelKomodo: wat happen
TheDeleter: terrible things
TheDeleter: or great things
TheDeleter: a thousand of each
SteelKomodo: pfffft

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TheDeleter: http://sphotos-c.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/61658_561491930531505_280393624_n.jpg
SteelKomodo: Snowmen with Shark Teeth
SteelKomodo: It's Official: The BBC have finally run out of ideas.
SteelKomodo: "Fuck it, just give snowmen shark teeth and hope someone has an irrational phobia of it."

BLAST PROCESSING

So I got a 3DS for Christmas and [insert FrogDrugs here]

That 3D effect, man, it's something else.

My other gifts this year included Super Mario 3D Land, Mario Kart 7, Ghost Trick, and Seek and Destroy in the gaming department, and a book about Godzilla, a chocolate bar, and little tiny Robot Wars pullback toys in the not-gaming department.

My poor mom fell into the "Flavored" trap, though - I also received a pack of marshmallow snowmen that are "chocolatey coated". Nooooooo

My brother made out like a bandit - he got a case for his electric guitar, a giant amp for said guitar, Rocksmith (which is also for said guitar - have you guessed his favorite instrument yet?!) Skyrim, and a laptop. And some Old Spice. Even with my limited budget, I got him a damn television (only paid ten bucks and it works like a dream!). But the best thing about his haul is that laptop. Not only does he love it, it means he has much less reason to take the desktop computer from me, meaning I'll hopefully be able to participate in more Zoofights RP next year without getting stranded on iPod and being unable to keep up with everyone else posting like mad.

Viva la commercialism!