Chatzy Madness Volume 397: Extreme Clown Jury

Jumpropeman: link
Gooper Blooper: It's not online any more, but my first experience with the meme-ness of Shrek is from before it was a meme to make fun of Shrek
Jumpropeman: link
Gooper Blooper: the guy who runs Dinosaur Dracula did a series of articles when Shrek 2 was new, looking at the absolute cavalcade of merchandise it spawned and how ungodly omnipresent the franchise was at its' peak
Gooper Blooper: it was called Shrek Crap
Jumpropeman: shrek green ketchup defined a generation
Gooper Blooper: twinkies with green filling, Shrek-themed Operation, Shrek-themed play-doh dentist
Gooper Blooper: you name it, the ogre was on it, it almost reached the mad heights of Pokemania
Jumpropeman: all it takes is one Shrek the Third
Gooper Blooper: I saw Shrek The Third in theaters and I remember thinking it was okay if not as good as the first two
Gooper Blooper: amazing how devastating it was
Jumpropeman: I saw it in theaters too, I don't remember the full context but I think I went with a church group my friend was part of
RubyChao: Saint Shrek
Gooper Blooper: I've never seen the fourth film and maybe I should remedy that sometime
Jumpropeman: I do recommend it. Not as good as the first two still but if Shrek the Third never existed I bet people would be like "yeah that was a good trilogy"
Mosey Sheep: I didn't like the fourth film at all :V
Jumpropeman: garsp!
Mosey Sheep: I hardly even remember 3, it was so mediocre
Mosey Sheep: 2, though...
Mosey Sheep: I rather enjoyed the second film
Jumpropeman: its been quite a while since I saw Shrek Forever After admittedly
Mosey Sheep makes a video ranking the Shrek films
Gooper Blooper: It's been ages since I've seen any of them, though I remember Shrek 1's plot well thanks to the "Shrek but" videos
Jumpropeman: make sure to watch Scared Shrekless
Jumpropeman: and Shrek the Halls
Jumpropeman: and the Shrek Thriller Night video that is separate from Scared Shrekless
Jumpropeman: NO, I'm supposed to be done with Shrek!
Mosey Sheep: I didn't know they did another Halloween one
Gooper Blooper: CKR revives her movie blog to review every Shrek film
Jumpropeman: I must lock this forbidden knowledge away
Gooper Blooper: Yeah I thought you'd be sick of him by now so I didn't bring him up again, but then you started it and so
Gooper Blooper: here we are
Gooper Blooper: talking about shrek
Mosey Sheep: Somebody once told me
Mosey Sheep: AND IT WAS YOU, JRM
Mosey Sheep: YOU TOLD ME!
Jumpropeman: ive been indoctrinated
Jumpropeman: it's not my fault ; w ;

--- 

Jumpropeman sees an old video titled "Every Time Batman Killed Someone" has been renamed to "Every Time Batman Ended Someone"
RubyChao: ahahahaaaaaaa
RubyChao: c'mon, at least make it intentionally ridiculous
Gooper Blooper: Every Time Batman Demonetized Someone
Mosey Sheep: Every time Batman sent someone into the long dark night

---

Jumpropeman: "Boorp's Balls is a skill game. You help Boorp to defend against Meck, who throws colored balls at him."
Jumpropeman: this is like an AI generated game

---

Jumpropeman: No pressure but what's your favorite sega console
RubyChao: Genesis
Jumpropeman: you will be spared

---

Two Weeks

Did you know F-Zero racers can go at normal speeds? It's possible, with the right equipment. Thanks to the ever-handy skills of Josephine's mother Celestia, the Blue Falcon was now street legal. It could drive along on an added set of wheels at a reasonable pace, or - when needed - tuck in the wheels and go right back to its' ludicrously fast ways.

So it was now that Josephine was cruising towards the Las Vegas Strip, her eyes shining with wonder and desire at the neon lights.

In the back seat, Gloria rolled her eyes, her face buried in a book about Las Vegas' history. "You know, Josephine, you got lucky last year. They say the house always wins."

"House didn't beat me."

"It will. You realize that these places couldn't stay in business if the odds were 50/50, let alone in your favor? Keep playing, and you're bound to lose."

"Only if I'm unlucky. And I feel like pressing my luck."

"Don't say I didn't warn you."

"C'mon, Gloria, loosen up."

"Hey, I'm just looking out for you."

"Ugh, I know, but..." Josephine sighed. "You know something? Everyone in our family has changed except you."

"What? What are you talking about?"

"Sarah found herself, and helped us change job classes. And since then, she's matured and grown a lot as a person. I've gained confidence in myself. Ariel's gotten stronger after being tempered by trials like The Society. Mom was freed from Tiamat and found her calling as a baker... and a mechanic, and a theme park owner... sheesh, she does a lot. And Dad... well, he was DEAD! But you're the same old stuffy boring Gloria."

"I resent that." Gloria huffed. "I opened my own library."

"You always wanted to do that. That's not a change."

"I became a summoner!"

"That hasn't changed who YOU are, sis."

"Well, so what? Maybe I like being boring." Gloria said, looking back at her book. "I mean, someone around here has to keep a cool head. You guys are rowdy enough, but this city is like a drug. Especially for you. This family needs a designated driver."

"That's Dad's job. C'mon - you're young, you're experienced, and you're frittering away the best years of your life doing nothing but reading!"

"Reading is fast becoming a lost art. Someone needs to preserve the traditions of the past."

"Okay, look. A couple years ago, Ariel took me to the ZFS King of Beasts to help me come out of my shell and stop caring so much about stupid shit like dress sizes and magazines. Now it's my turn to help someone."

They came to a stoplight. Josephine grimaced briefly at the line of traffic in front of her, but then took the opportunity to turn her head to look at Gloria, and jabbed a finger at her.

"You? You're gonna have fun in Las Vegas."

"I had fun last year."

"You didn't even scratch the surface of the Vegas experience. Well, no more. You're going to see the shows."

"Well, okay."

"And you're gonna gamble."

"Ugh... Must I?"

"And eat at the Heart Attack Grill."

"You wouldn't."

"I would. Gloria, you're getting the full Vegas treatment this year! And you can take that to the bank!"

"The only things I'll be taking to the bank after this are an IOU and raised cholesterol..."

Josephine shook her head, chuckling, and then heard someone honk their horn at her. She hurriedly looked back at the road and saw the cars moving, and the Blue Falcon lurched back into motion. With one hand on the wheel, the chemist flipped on the radio, looking for a station...

Chatzy Madness Volume 213: Big Bar Brawl 5 Edition

Del: morgan freeman why
Del: why are you in so many bad movies
BakedKomodo: his career peaked after the Dark Knight trilogy
Lost Tomwhere in Time: I think there comes a point
BakedKomodo: there was only one way to go after that
Lost Tomwhere in Time: in an old actor's life
Lost Tomwhere in Time: where you really just go
Lost Tomwhere in Time: "You know what? I'm Morgan Freeman. Fuck it."
M Sheep: okay, back
BakedKomodo: wb sheep
M Sheep: danke
Lost Tomwhere in Time: I mean, I'll be honest
Lost Tomwhere in Time: if I was Morgan Freeman
Lost Tomwhere in Time: I'd be doing this to troll the crap out of people
Lost Tomwhere in Time: It would be my singular purpose
Lost Tomwhere in Time: I'd deliberately go to the most arbitrary and ridiculous of stores, and purchase items at random
Lost Tomwhere in Time: just so people could hear me ask for these specific items
Lost Tomwhere in Time: I even have a similar plan in mind when I become an author
Fate Intruded: Is it to become Darth Vader?
Lost Tomwhere in Time: I'll have a strong and solid career of well rounded, well paced stories with solid and interesting characters
Lost Tomwhere in Time: and then
Lost Tomwhere in Time: suddenly
Lost Tomwhere in Time: I will start writing erotica
Lost Tomwhere in Time: but not just any erotica
BakedKomodo: Tom pls D:
Lost Tomwhere in Time: epic fantasy erotica
Fate Intruded: That works too. :v
M Sheep: I kind of want to see Morgan Freeman appear in a film
M Sheep: and not say anything
Lost Tomwhere in Time: six books of thoroughly well plotted, well written porn
Fate Intruded: Tom, that's an oxymoron. 8 0
M Sheep: a recurring character who shows up, but never speaks a word the whole thing
Lost Tomwhere in Time: that would be pretty brilliant, Sheep
Lost Tomwhere in Time: I'd never have thought of that
M Sheep: At most, you get a sigh like he's drawing himself up to say something
M Sheep: and then nothing
BakedKomodo: hahaha
M Sheep: so much tension in the audience, just waiting for one character to SAY SOMETHING

---

Bree: so um
Bree: rolling defenses for yonaka in spehss court
Bree: the results
Bree: are hilarious
Bree: that's all I'm sayin
RubyChao: kek
BakedKomodo: kek
Gooper Blooper: Yonaka rolls a 31 for everything except when bree joke rolled for Edea and got a 1 and a tails, Yonaka splattered by chocolate from hundreds of feet away somehow
Bree: lel
The Timeline Has Been Ruined: I hope sean's roll did it
Cornwind Evil: Yonaka splattered with chocolate
Cornwind Evil: It turns out she hates chocolate
Cornwind Evil: Hence making her the most evil villain in kobber history
Gooper Blooper: my gluttons descend upon yonaka like piranha
Harpy: Cian is disappointed with Yonaka for her shit taste in everything
Harpy: "I bet you even like that chocolate-flavored stuff. :I "

The City of Lights

Las Vegas. A metropolis of light, sound, and color, located in a seemingly bizarre location - the deserts and badlands of Nevada. Yet here life has flourished. Amongst this artificial paradise, ordinary people and extraordinary people intermingle. Casinos, hotels, malls and resorts light the city up at night, making it into a glitzy neon world different from anywhere else on the planet. And if it wasn't a crazy enough life here already, things are soon to get even wilder.

The kobbers are coming.

Are the people already here prepared?