The Rest Is Silence

Blade kept wishing that he would wake up and this would stop happening.

His boots echoed off the white tile as he made his way down the hospital hall. Reverberating voices around him from the staff as they milled about went into his ears and dispelled into formless muck he couldn't focus on. It was just another day for them. He approached the room he'd been told to visit, simultaneously trying to hurry and also trying to delay the inevitable, resulting in a stilted and stiff stride.

Blade stopped at the threshold, peering into the room. He saw Helios Canicco, head of the KOB Hospital, taking notes on a clipboard with a grim expression. Again, two clashing emotions filled Blade's head. He was relieved Helios had managed to appear in Las Vegas on such short notice, but he was also very concerned that he was present at all. Helios was one of the best doctors any Kobber had ever seen. The man was quite literally a miracle worker. So for his presence to be required this far from either Olympia or Agama was grim tidings indeed.

Blade put a gloved hand against the door railing to stabilize himself. He closed his eyes and took a deep, long breath. Helios looked over at him sympathetically and made a gesture with one hand. Blade's eyes cracked open and he took in Helios' hand beckoning at him. He sighed, shook his head, and stepped inside.

Together, the two of them looked at Sally Bishop.

Heavily swaddled in bandages, hooked up to a large beeping machine, and out like a light. It had been years since she had stepped in the ring, but Silence still had some fairly impressive muscles. They did her no good here, though, and the tall, strong woman had never looked smaller and more weak to her long-time friend. Her skin was pale and her chest slowly rose and fell with each slumbering breath.

Blade let out a choked noise. "G...grgh! Why... why couldn't I have been there... I should have been there."

Helios did his best to comfort Blade, placing a hand on the biker's back. When Blade flinched, Helios flinched in kind, but Blade calmed down enough to let Helios keep his hand there. "Don't blame yourself. You couldn't have known this would happen."

"...You're right. Blaming myself won't do anything." Blade fell silent for a time, his fists clenching and unclenching. "I should be blaming the rat bastard who did this to my best friend."

"I can at least tell you she's not in pain right now. I've made sure she can get all the medication she needs, and get lots of sleep. If anything else comes up, I'll let you know. A private detective has already offered to investigate the case and has hired help with boots on the ground as we speak."

"Private schmivate. They can investigate all they want, but I'm not sitting by waiting for them to figure this out." Blade gently placed his hand on top of one of Silence's hands, taking in a shuddering breath. "I'm... I'm gonna get this guy, Sally. You can... c-can count on me."

Blade removed his helmet to see Sally better, and tears dripped onto her hospital bed.

"Because we're friends." 

Title Reign

"Your winner, and still VEW Champion... SIIIIIIILENNNNNNNCE!"

Silence raised her arms in victory, standing over the fallen form of Regirock. It had been quite a match, but Silence had managed to come out on top once again. She soaked in the cheers and slowly made her way to the back, where Blade was waiting for her.

"Another fantastic title defense, Silence." Blade gave her a thumbs up, and she responded in kind.

---

Not much later, after Silence had gotten a chance to recover and take a shower, she and Blade were walking home under the neon glow of Vegas. Silence's apartment was nothing to write home about, but it suited them well enough and there was space for both of them.

"So, Silence... Have you been putting any thought into your successor?"

Silence nodded. She had been thinking about it for a while. At some point during the "kobber season", she was most likely going to drop the belt. She'd had a fantastic run so far, having defended successfully against most of the federation plus a few special guests. From December's "Christmas Carnage" PPV to February's "St. Valentine's Day Massacre" PPV, she'd come out on top again and again. But it couldn't last forever. The hard part was picking the right man - or woman - for the job. Silence's role as the face of VEW and her many intense victories (not to mention, of course, her status as the Big Bar Brawl champion) had given the belt an incredible amount of prestige for an indy fed. Whoever took the belt had to be good, real good.

As for that Brawl... she suspected that was another title she'd be losing in the summer, as well. No champion had ever successfully defended their trophy in the Brawl. ROB, Doomrider, General Cleft, and Mac Tonight had all returned the year after their victories for another crack, and all of them had fallen - Mac by Silence's own hand. She wondered if the next champion would take her out as well.

...It was funny. Silence had worked so hard to climb the mountain, and last year she'd done it. She'd won the Brawl, launched her federation, ruled over said federation, and even finally delivered justice to the scum that had mutilated her and sent her on this path in the first place. She'd conquered her fears and achieved her greatest life goals, all in one summer... but now, she would most likely spend this next summer falling back down to earth. Every title reign eventually ended in a loss, one way or another, after all.

But that was okay. Silence didn't mind too much. Nobody could ever take away what she accomplished in 2015, even if she jobbed in every match and Fite she participated in from now until she retired from wrestling. She was content. As for retirement... Silence had been doing rough physical brawling for eight years now. Six years in VEW, a year aboard the ZFS, and then a year here in Vegas participating as both a kobber and a VEW wrestler. Silence knew all too well what happens to a wrestler who stays in the business too long. There was a time when she wouldn't have cared that much, but now that she had her sister back... and a best friend to stick with... she didn't want to ever wind up in that position. No, she would get out of the business in a couple more years, probably. Maybe do something a bit less strenuous, like work as a trainer or a coach. And she could make a mean brownie!

But as nice as that all sounded... Silence wasn't ready to retire. Not yet. She had a fire inside her, a burning determination to succeed. It was the part of her she drew on for her biggest victories. Her showdown with Cauren, when the giantess towered over her and many other people would have crumpled to the ground in despair. Her bloody Extreme Rules match with Sasha Banks, a small but wily opponent who had made Silence a bleeding wreck by the end of their fight. The showdown with The Black Mage atop Luxor, with her friends sharing her rage at a horrible human being. Every time it seemed Silence was down and out, she'd rise up one more time with that fire powering her. And the fire was still burning, even now. It had been five months since she'd last seen most of the kobbers, and she was itching to return to the battlefield, having been consistently unable to show up whenever something DID happen, like the fights that OOO guy she'd heard about kept getting into.

Someday, maybe even soon, she would lose. Her reigns would come to an end, work or shoot. And someday she would stop fighting and settle down.

But Silence was not the sort of girl to go down without a good fight.

Chatzy Madness Volume 225: OOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAUGH

WorkDel: i just pledged $125 on a kickstarter for plastic space dwarves because i am a maniac

---

Jumpropeman: there's a guy on deviantart who has his own mac tonight costume and wears it to do strange things
sprtgh: JRM I'm sorry but I can only imagine a guy dressing up as Mac Tonight, breaking into people's houses, and then doing nothing but serenading them on their pianos

---

Harpy: i had to tell my dog to stop being adorable

---

Revanchist: I went for pizza. I caved to the booby lady's earnest face and chatting of Tolkien while spaghetti cooked, and now I am eating that instead, fresh from the takehome tin and the paper bag.
Revanchist: MY WILL IS WEAK
Revanchist munches with mourning but secretly pleased recollection

---

Cornwind Evil: It's a CRIMSON incubus
Cornwind Evil: It has some vampire like traits but it is not, technically, a vampire
Cornwind Evil: It's alive for one
Jumpropeman: you're not alive til you tried my momma's goulash

---

Gooper Blooper: important reminder:
Gooper Blooper: Gust and Blade in ZFRP: important characters that developed and grew over the course of a season, interacting with other characters and gaining depth
Gooper Blooper: Gust and Blade in their source material
RubyChao: zfrp.txt
Harpy: lel

Chatzy Madness Volume 213: Big Bar Brawl 5 Edition

Del: morgan freeman why
Del: why are you in so many bad movies
BakedKomodo: his career peaked after the Dark Knight trilogy
Lost Tomwhere in Time: I think there comes a point
BakedKomodo: there was only one way to go after that
Lost Tomwhere in Time: in an old actor's life
Lost Tomwhere in Time: where you really just go
Lost Tomwhere in Time: "You know what? I'm Morgan Freeman. Fuck it."
M Sheep: okay, back
BakedKomodo: wb sheep
M Sheep: danke
Lost Tomwhere in Time: I mean, I'll be honest
Lost Tomwhere in Time: if I was Morgan Freeman
Lost Tomwhere in Time: I'd be doing this to troll the crap out of people
Lost Tomwhere in Time: It would be my singular purpose
Lost Tomwhere in Time: I'd deliberately go to the most arbitrary and ridiculous of stores, and purchase items at random
Lost Tomwhere in Time: just so people could hear me ask for these specific items
Lost Tomwhere in Time: I even have a similar plan in mind when I become an author
Fate Intruded: Is it to become Darth Vader?
Lost Tomwhere in Time: I'll have a strong and solid career of well rounded, well paced stories with solid and interesting characters
Lost Tomwhere in Time: and then
Lost Tomwhere in Time: suddenly
Lost Tomwhere in Time: I will start writing erotica
Lost Tomwhere in Time: but not just any erotica
BakedKomodo: Tom pls D:
Lost Tomwhere in Time: epic fantasy erotica
Fate Intruded: That works too. :v
M Sheep: I kind of want to see Morgan Freeman appear in a film
M Sheep: and not say anything
Lost Tomwhere in Time: six books of thoroughly well plotted, well written porn
Fate Intruded: Tom, that's an oxymoron. 8 0
M Sheep: a recurring character who shows up, but never speaks a word the whole thing
Lost Tomwhere in Time: that would be pretty brilliant, Sheep
Lost Tomwhere in Time: I'd never have thought of that
M Sheep: At most, you get a sigh like he's drawing himself up to say something
M Sheep: and then nothing
BakedKomodo: hahaha
M Sheep: so much tension in the audience, just waiting for one character to SAY SOMETHING

---

Bree: so um
Bree: rolling defenses for yonaka in spehss court
Bree: the results
Bree: are hilarious
Bree: that's all I'm sayin
RubyChao: kek
BakedKomodo: kek
Gooper Blooper: Yonaka rolls a 31 for everything except when bree joke rolled for Edea and got a 1 and a tails, Yonaka splattered by chocolate from hundreds of feet away somehow
Bree: lel
The Timeline Has Been Ruined: I hope sean's roll did it
Cornwind Evil: Yonaka splattered with chocolate
Cornwind Evil: It turns out she hates chocolate
Cornwind Evil: Hence making her the most evil villain in kobber history
Gooper Blooper: my gluttons descend upon yonaka like piranha
Harpy: Cian is disappointed with Yonaka for her shit taste in everything
Harpy: "I bet you even like that chocolate-flavored stuff. :I "

Chatzy Madness Volume 212: We All Know Blade's Going To Die

Aurora: i really don't want mac to win
RubyChao: if blue had gotten in
RubyChao: would that still be a better winner than mac
Aurora: yes, Blue would be better
Aurora: because Mac would be free
Aurora: i just want him to be free from this cheeseburgerless brawl hell

---

Gooper Blooper: >​I'm thirty chatlogs behind in chatzy madness
RubyChao never talks again to slow things down
Del: hahaha

(As of this writing I am now nearly fifty chatlogs behind)

---

Gooper Blooper: I don't even begin to consider "dork" as an insult any more since all the users and characters described as such are great
Draco: I'm pretty sure I'm NOT a dork.
Lying Cat joined the chat
Lying Cat: LYING.
Lying Cat left the chat
Gooper Blooper: sorry draco
Gooper Blooper: it knew
SteelKomodo: lel
Del: u got owned draco
Draco: D:

---

Cornwind Evil: Going into review moe
Gooper Blooper: >​review moe
Gooper Blooper: I hope chatzy-senpai notices me today

---

Cornwind Evil: I actually had a dream about the Big Bar Brawl
Cornwind Evil: But all I remember was looking at a list of placements and remembering where Ash was
Gooper Blooper: did you win
Cornwind Evil: ​He got 9th
Jumpropeman: that's... pretty good!
RubyChao: better than last year
Gooper Blooper: making top ten gets more and more impressive each year since the brawl keeps getting bigger
Gooper Blooper: Wids got 11th in 2011 and it meant she finished in the bottom half
Gooper Blooper: If she placed the same, had she entered this time, it would have looked pretty damn good
RubyChao: reminder: the entirity of BBB2 fits into the top half of BBB5
Jumpropeman: if Ash got 9th, that would be the highest placed Cornwind's ever been
Gooper Blooper: THIS TIME WILL BE DIFFERENT etc

Chatzy Madness Volume 207: Why Am I Watching A Music Video About A Pig

RubyChao: so who wants to know a fun fact about labyrinth of touhou 1
iKomodo: Me
Gooper Blooper: what did those crazy hus do this time
RubyChao: the final boss of the expansion has probably one of the best names for the final boss of a too-hard game
RubyChao: namely, the boss before him is the Serpent of Chaos
RubyChao: but the final boss is just literally named "WINNER"
RubyChao: (spoilers: he tends to do it a lot)
Gooper Blooper: WINNERWINSLOL
iKomodo: Hahaha

---

Bree: despite the name, #Ruined has substantially improved my enjoyment of everything it applies to

---

Draco: Since JRM is overworked, I will not participate in any Fites.
Draco challenges over 9000 people.
Jumpropeman: *cancels Brawl to write all the Draco fites*

---

Jumpropeman: My greatest Brawl fear is not getting a champion to come back next year
Jumpropeman: because you could say the current champion is the strongest of the strong since the champion of last year loses next year, but right now its Mac so you can't say that BUT IT WORKED BEFORE
Draco: Mac will never lose again.

---

Bree: what
Bree: blue is here
Bree: when did that happen
Blue: Now.
Bree: but it didn't even say you entered the chat
Blue: I... don't know.
Jumpropeman: she's been undercover this whole time
Blue: Aparently I'm a ninja.

---

Blue: I went ice skating.
Blue: And fell on my ass.

The City of Second Chances

-MANHATTAN, NEW YORK-

-TRIDENLAND-

"I can't believe we're shutting down Tridenland..." Sarah moped.

"Oh, don't be so melodramatic, dear!" Celestia said, waving a hand dismissively. "We just can't be in two places at once! It will still be open on a limited basis, just as more of a family fun stop than a full amusement park."

It was true - caught between either leaving the park for yet another summer or ignoring her friends at the King of Beasts, Celestia, ever the businesswoman, had decided to take a third option and make Tridenland into a franchise, with a new location opening in Las Vegas. Manhattan's Tridenland would remain open, but it was not as popular as it was in its' early years, perhaps due to the memories of Zoofights fading and becoming less fresh. Now it would be a smaller, more laid-back experience, with many of the biggest rides being either decommissioned or moved to the new location.

Competing for dollars in Las Vegas was risky, to be sure, but the possible payoff was massive. Celestia mused over this fact as she watched a team of WarMechs led by Skeiron, Mecha-Sarah, and Buzzsaw dismantle a roller coaster for parts while Isotope surveyed the scene and acted as a lookout. She laughed quietly to herself. A big risk for a big payout... that definitely sounded like Vegas, all right.

Celestia looked away from the demolition and took a look at her daughter. Sarah had always had a bit of a healthy, cheery glow about her when happy, but now she seemed to be like that all the time, even when outwardly she could be glum, or bored, or even asleep. And Celestia knew why.

When Alex had popped the question, Sarah's initial quiet response had, predictably, given way to her old giddy excitement, and she'd spent the entire next day vibrating with joy as she told and retold the events of the day before to her family and many of her friends. That initial rush had faded, but a storm of emotions continued to swarm through the little white mage long after the fact.

The wedding was planned for June, currently, and there was still much to be done, but Celestia had been happy to take care of much of the minutiae, and the family as a whole wasn't jonesing for a massive, extravagant affair with dozens of third parties to pay thousands to - especially since Celestia herself could do the catering. No, this would be a simple wedding to plan, if not still fancy in person.

After all, a wedding in the glitziest place on the planet between two people who really, really, REALLY enjoyed sweets wasn't exactly going to be a muted, quiet one.

Chatzy Madness Volume 195: Utsuho Goes Fishing

Harpy: "The spider goat is purely a creation of science. Outwardly it’s no different from your typical goat. However, the spider goat does have spider DNA in it. That’s right the spider goat creates milk that contains golden orb spider silk.
Scientists refine the spider goat’s milk and then the extracted silk is used to make highly resistant products such as fishing line wire, body armor, surgical sutures and parachutes. It is located in Utah State University. This farm is actually part of a larger research facility at USU that focuses on animal husbandry and genetics."
Harpy: david step your game up
Sabercrow: David only spins silk when it's comedically appropriate
SteelKomodo: what
Del: hahaha
Harpy: like water to wine, david turns milk to silk
Sabercrow: He can also do the wine thing, and combined they're great at parties
Harpy: his kids complain when its obvious their cereal bowls are filled with threads

---

RubyChao: the cake from mario 64 ds
RubyChao: but WITH TOUHOUS
RubyChao: (nah it's prob. not on purpose but it sure does remind me of that)
ivel: at least it's not the cake from Mario RPG
Harpy: Bundt?
ivel: mhm
Harpy: don't give me ideas to have him be a boss in RP, ivel
Harpy: he will lose
Harpy: he will lose ​horribly
ivel: please do the thing
Harpy: it's a OHKO if sarah's there
Harpy: unless the cake gets bigger somehow to make it more of a pain to actually eat it
Harpy: still a OHKO if sarah's there
Harpy: unless its
Harpy: A SPICY CAKE
iKomodo: The thing?
Harpy: he wants me to RP a goddamn cake as a villain
Harpy: :U
Gooper Blooper: eat the cake, sarah
Harpy: gooper no
iKomodo: Hahaha
Harpy: the cake is eviler and bigger than ever
Harpy: SAMMY'S TRAPPED IN THERE
Its Not Me: rip cake
Gooper Blooper: >​implying sammy won't be able to eat her way out
iKomodo: rip in peace
Harpy: "FUCK I JUST ATE AT THE CHICKEN WING PLACE NOW YOU GOTTA DO THIS YOU FUCKIN SUCK"
Harpy: Bundt will prolly be a BBP thing, since he wouldn't really fit in any of my other plots :U
Harpy: well.. it
iKomodo: Koopa puts up an advertisement. "Eat at Scoopa Koopa's... then try dessert at the Bonus Boss Pavilion with a free voucher! And by 'free', I mean with anything over $15."
RubyChao: CASSANDRA SUMMONS BUNDT TO TRY AND DEFEAT GLUTTONY WITH A CAKE SO BIG
RubyChao: EVEN HE CAN'T EAT IT
Harpy: Gluttony easily wins
Harpy: you can't stop him from eating giant cakes no matter how big it may be

Chatzy Madness Volume 194: Kobberitis

Molasses Sheep: I'm the worst at actually playing vieogames the way you are supposed to play them
Molasses Sheep: Team composition? But I like this one's design and this one's dialog!
RubyChao: hahahaha
Molasses Sheep: And then I force the team to fit
RubyChao: i can just imagine you picking your touhous that way, sheep
Molasses Sheep: this is literally how I play all my RPGs
Molasses Sheep: I will literally go out and grind and over level instead of just swap my dang team members
Molasses Sheep: BECAUSE WHAT IF I MISS GOOD DIALOG FROM *insert character here*
Molasses Sheep: But, this also why all my Pokemon teams are awful
Molasses Sheep: I generally hold on to like the ten first guys I catch in the game
Molasses Sheep: and that's just my team
Molasses Sheep: I HOPE YOU LIKE ZIGZAGOONS AND PELLIPERS
Molasses Sheep: I just slam the square into the round hole until something breaks

---

Gooper Blooper: oh, spy, you'll be glad to know
Gooper Blooper: when working on chatzy madness this afternoon I came across Del posting a text-to-speech website people played with for a bit
Gooper Blooper: I made one of the voices do a reading of Kanye's Dead Zone
Spynosaurus: Goops
Spynosaurus: You're the best
iKomodo: Oh lawd
iKomodo: "inhale my dong enragement rapper"
Gooper Blooper: the character limit was 250 so it had to be done in two dozen parts but I did it anyway
Spynosaurus: Holy shit Goops xD
RubyChao: how was it
Gooper Blooper: not bad
Gooper Blooper: pretty good dramatic pause on "kanye west was at my door"
Gooper Blooper: when "rubychao" was spelled correctly, he actually pronounced it right (though I still mentally say "ruby kay-oh"
Gooper Blooper: I was really thrown for a loop when I heard it pronounced "chow" ingame
Gooper Blooper: like, you don't call the other guy "chows zero" so what's the deal
RubyChao: goops has been pronouncing it wrong for how long now
RubyChao: goops pls
Gooper Blooper: since I got Sonic Adventure 2 Battle
Gooper Blooper: so I think about thirteen years now
iKomodo: Man, goops
RubyChao: damn
iKomodo: i have to admit, I feel good now knowing my pronunciation of Chao was correct all along
iKomodo: ...but wait, didn't SA2 have the Chao Garden?
RubyChao: it did
RubyChao: but it was never spoken in-game
Gooper Blooper: yeah it did
iKomodo: ah
iKomodo: what about Omochao?
iKomodo: did he speak?
Gooper Blooper: He did, and he said his name I think
RubyChao: yeah but i bet goops ignored him :V
Gooper Blooper: but I just somehow missed it
iKomodo: ...you shoulda twigged then :U
Gooper Blooper: It was later, around Sonic Heroes or something, where he said "omochow" and I was like "wait what did you just say"
Gooper Blooper: I remember I used to have a second "I know this is wrong but I can't stop pronouncing it" problem
Gooper Blooper: For whatever reason, in the early-mid 2000s I pronunced mage as "modge". I have no idea why. If I was pulling directly from "magic" (like how I got kay-oh from "chaos") I would have said "madge" but I didn't
RubyChao: RED MODGE
RubyChao: WHITE MODGE
RubyChao: BLACK MODGE
Gooper Blooper: then I just somehow managed to switch to "mayge"
Gooper Blooper: yes, chao
Gooper Blooper: exactly
RubyChao: i think i have a couple things i always pronounce wrong
RubyChao: a couple 2hu names
Gooper Blooper: Goopsmom has told me that I'm historically bad at pronouncing
Gooper Blooper: This is because I learned words by reading them, not by hearing them spoken or sounded in a dictionary
Spynosaurus: Well ah pronounce it MAGLE
Spynosaurus: . . . I botched the JBL nooo

Character Musings: The Sound of Silence

My thought process for making new characters is a bit different depending on whether I'm adapting a character from another medium into RP or if I'm making an original character. If it's the former, I start with the character and consider what I could mold them into and what they would do. If it's the latter, I start with a concept I want to roleplay, and then build a character that lets me try that concept.

Silence accomplishes two things. Firstly, I wanted a character that fought with sheer brute force instead of fancy weapons (Widow Maker, Kauket, Dr. Bulgrave) or magic (the sarahkin). Additionally, I wanted to try writing a major character that couldn't speak. Silence was just what I wanted - there's nobody else like her on my roster.

Silence was, as I've mentioned before, inspired by a couple of real-life wrestlers I've seen here and there on YouTube and whatnot, those being Kane and Jessicka Havok. I bring it up again because of a little cutting room floor: Silence's initial design had a lot more black clothing and she wore a gas mask instead of a leather mask. This, however, made her look way too much like Havok so I swung the pendulum more towards Kane. The red mechanical eye is my attempt at giving Silence something neither of her inspirations possessed.

Normally in the world of wrassling, people like Silence are the bad guys. After all, if you took Silence and placed her amongst the "Divas" of WWE, she would be by far the tallest, heaviest, and strongest. She's more than twice the size of the most successful girl on their roster, AJ Lee. When you have such enormous statistical advantages over your opponents, of course you'd be the villain. You're the odds that have to be overcome. But that's where the magic of ZFRP comes in. Silence is an ordinary human with absolutely no special powers. For all her height and muscle, her opponents are monsters and aliens with guns and magic. In a lot of fights, she's actually the underdog, and it's suddenly easy to make her sympathetic and someone to root for.

Silence was originally supposed to be more rough around the edges, as befitting her appearance, but she revealed herself to be a big softie pretty quick. She makes friends surprisingly easily for someone who can't properly communicate with them. Although she is rather rough-and-tumble, there are plenty of people in ZFRP who love a good fight, so that's not a huge barrier either.

I wanna mention Blade here, too. There are a lot of things in ZFRP I don't see coming, and when I came up with the idea of Blade returning as a regular to be Silence's manager, I was surprised at myself for digging him back up from his relatively minor role in Season 2. Blade helps Silence communicate, which I felt was important. I didn't want a cop-out on the "silent character" idea, so I had even gone so far as to make Silence illiterate so she couldn't just write her thoughts, but she still needed some way to help get people's attention and announce her intentions, and it made sense for a wrestler to have a manager anyway. So instead of a new character, out comes Blade. I think the idea of Silence being "normal" made him a great fit - the Storm Bikers' plot in Season 2 was all about the concept of "normal" and how the kobbers could so easily disrupt the lives of normal thugs.

Silence hasn't yet had too much of a chance to really develop in RP, as she took a sort of hired-gun role in Season 4 - instead of having stories happen to her, she simply joined in on plots whenever I felt like using her. She's on tap to get some development this year, though, mostly in the form of people finally uncovering her past. It's taken me a long time to iron out the kinks, and I still don't have everything, but I finally have some form of backstory for her planned that I think is acceptable, unlike last year where I didn't know what my own character's deal was. All you Silenceamaniacs out there can find out for yourself this summer.

Chatzy Madness Volume 151: Magical Gays Shoot Off Into Space

Deled: saint pepsi has a track called Mac Tonight
Deled: #Ruined

---

Deled: back
Deled: time to continue with con "massive nerd" rad

---

SteelKomodo: what have i missed?
Harpy: something is happening
Harpy: as in
Harpy: CW's "something" plot
Harpy: its like trying to guess what's in the mystery box

---

(Cornwind attempts to explain an attack)

The Anti-Rapadoo Brockle Snar: Here, a very crude reference picture
RubyChao: you weren't kidding
The Anti-Rapadoo Brockle Snar: I cannot draw
The Anti-Rapadoo Brockle Snar: Even stick men
The Anti-Rapadoo Brockle Snar: I leave it to GB

---

Harpy: suck eggs osaal, you giant fucking heel full of feces

Chatzy Madness Volume 143: Mikey Barfs Up A Balloonicorn

Cornwind Evil: You know, I just realized just what happened in the Sleepy Hollow story
Cornwind Evil: There was no Headless Horseman
Cornwind Evil: Ichabod was scared off by the guy he was competing with for the hand of a girl
Draco: !!!!!
Draco: The Headless Horseman industry is ruined! D:

---

RubyChao: my ecology final is today so i'm going to channel my inner ariel
LazyBree gives Melody

---

RubyChao:  welcome to hell

---

Dacro joined the chat
SteelKomodo: ey harps
SteelKomodo: i mean draco
SteelKomodo: damn it why do you have to use Harpy's old text colour D:
Dacro: Because I am mobile.
SteelKomodo: oh ok
Dacro: I understand the confusion though. Harpy is almost as pretty as I am

---

RubyChao: i feel i succeeded on my ecology final
RubyChao: got in touch with my inner ariel
RubyChao: now i just need to find my inner josephine
RubyChao ponders how to improve the look of his booty

---

iKomodo: WELP
Jumpropeman: they are going all out
Gooper Blooper: And the game still isn't even out yet
Jumpropeman: I can't wait to buy all his playsets and toys!
iKomodo: They are pushing Beck like... Who is the WWE pushing right now?
fd: John Cena
fd: Then, now, forever
RubyChao: Beck Cena
RubyChao: SK's beck vote was more spot on than expected
iKomodo: Also they want full English voice acting
Jumpropeman: I'm hoping for some Mega Man 8 quality voice acting
Gooper Blooper: yu mus wecova all da enewgy immediatwy, m-megaman
iKomodo: If that happens, JRM, I will personally hold you responsible
Jumpropeman: the 15 dollars i contributed would probably match the voice acting budget for Mega Man 8 at least

Chatzy Madness Volume 141: Big Bar Brawl 4 Edition

Draco: Dudemanguy combines the strength, speed, and agility of a dude, a man, and a guy!
RubyChao: THE STRENGTH OF A DUDE
RubyChao: THE SPEED OF A MAN
RubyChao: THE INTELLIGENCE OF A GUY

---

iDel joined the chat
iDel: I declare today to be Butts day
iDel: increase the amount of butts and butt gags in RP by 200% k thanx

---

RubyChao: >​pasta says "to be continued"
RubyChao: >​last actually updated in october 2013
RubyChao: rip in peace

---

RubyChao: "Each person who could would control fusion energy differently. What would you do with it if you could steal it away? The ultimate vehicle? The ultimate weapon? Or, maybe, the ultimate magic? Well, I want to revive the Blazing Hell. I'll melt the Earth away!"
RubyChao: utsuho please
RubyChao: (to be fair that's a quote from when she was a villain)
SteelKomodo: D:
RubyChao: pitbros talking about girlfriends
RubyChao: "Mine once turned into a giant!" "Mine tried to destroy the world." "...I think you can keep her."
SteelKomodo: XD

---

Gooper Blooper: "I'm going into a fight to the death against fucking everything."
Gooper Blooper: bbb.txt

---

RubyChao: chrome recognizes "donuts" and "doughnut" but not "donut"
RubyChao: ok then

What Happens In Vegas

-LAS VEGAS, NEVADA-

Life was good for Blade, at least by his standards.

It had been a year and a half since his escape from Manhattan. He had broken out of prison during a citywide crisis when dragons had attacked, led by a maniacal knight on a single-minded mission. Long story.

But the long and short of it was that here he was, clear across the country, ready to begin anew. It was here he had settled in among the nightlife. His history of petty crimes didn't follow him here, and he had a fresh start. Perhaps he was interested in turning over a new leaf, or perhaps he was just paranoid of running into a kobber, but whatever the reason, he'd kept clean since his arrival.

That didn't mean he didn't still skirt around the darker edges of urban life, though. Hell, he was in Las Vegas, a city notorious for dark dealings, nearly as much as Manhattan when it had been at its worst a few years back. Gambling, weapons dealers, black markets, bootlegs, drugs, and ladies who promised a fun time were par for the course here.

So it was that Blade was watching one of the oldest scams in the book play out before his eyes.

"Step right up, all who dare! Anyone is welcome to challenge my client!" a small man wearing a top hat waved his cane enthusiastically, addressing the crowd of onlookers Blade formed a small part of. "Just forty dollars to try your luck, and a prize of two hundred if you score a victory!" Two scruffy men in front of Blade looked at each other.

"I hear this Balrog guy is a total pushover."

"Yeah, a dude in his fifties knocked him out last weekend!"

"Didn't it used to be twenty dollars to enter?"

"He must be losing too much money, heh. What a joke. I'm going in."

Blade knew all about this little carnival trick. A tough guy would invite adventurous tourists an opportunity to test their mettle, and during his initial arrival, would take a fall and get a reputation for being a pushover. Then, after the word had spread, the price of entry would shoot up and the tough guy would quit playing around, fleecing would-be heroes before moving to another city to start all over again. He watched, rolling his eyes as the scruffy guy paid the barker and stepped into the ring.

Cutting Room Floor 5

Here's some stuff I forgot to talk about in the last post!

-Browny was almost introduced early twice. I had an introductory post all written up where he dove into the bar to use it as cover, then headshotted a thug before noticing all the people behind him and awkwardly introducing himself. He was introduced for real a few days later during one of the first 2012 season events.

-The other possible Browny introduction is far weirder and goes farther back. He almost showed up during the 2011 season when Cornwind sent that giant alien to the bar. He would have appeared unannounced during the fight and shown a friendliness towards Zephyrus, and afterward Celestia would appear and reveal that Browny was actually a drastically upgraded Skeiron. However, I decided to keep Skeiron in his current form with his limited dialogue and love of bread.

-Speaking of Skeiron, he almost became a tagalong fanboy of Starscream, but wound up being one of sorts for Zephyrus instead when Starscream took like two weeks to recover after his Fite Yer Mates victory.

-The Necronomitron was going to lurk in the shadows for the whole tournament, then there'd be a Fite yer Mates event or something similar where a bunch of bargoers fought him. This was scrapped for two reasons: One, Air Man challenged Necro to a fight. Two, the RP Explosion rapidly made the Necronomitron small fry (and a hero).

-Who remembers this snippet from Hephaestus last year?

("FOOLS, I HAVE CAPTURED THE GIRL, AND SHALL USE HER TO-"

"Get back in thine jar, swit, or I shalt be forced to inject you into that pig I keep in the corner. It has Down's Syndrome.")

Yes, Hephaestus had somehow acquired a small, powerless fragment of Mr. Evil Midnight and was keeping him for (I'm guessing) experimental purposes.

At the end of my introductory post for the Tiamat event, after introducing all those bad guys, a pig with Down's syndrome was going to pop into existence, flying high in the air above the city, then squeal a squeal of challenge. LordPig would have had all the abilities of the Lord, but vastly weaker (although nearly as durable).

I removed LordPig for two reasons: I didn't want any Lord-related drama of any kind to taint the event, and I didn't want Cornwind to feel like I was making fun of him or something, bringing back everyone's villains and then doing this to his.

-Blade was supposed to be the important Storm Biker, what the hell :psyduck:

GB Crew Board Meeting

(I wanna do one too!)

A mantis. A white mage. A black mage. Several robots, a steampunk scientist, a horde of unruly bikers... it was quite crowded and chaotic in the small meeting room. A boombox desperately tried to keep the peace with relaxing elevator music.

Okay, people. People, can we bring this meeting to order?

"You quit freakin' staring at me, Bulgrave."

"Or else what, Project 28?"

"I'll sic Sarah on you."

"Ooh, a girl in a wheelchair. Pardon me while I wet myself, Project 28."

"Leave my daughter out of this."

People.

 "Gooper is right. Can we settle down, please?", asked a girl wearing a green hood and brown dress.

"Who the hell are you?"

"Don't talk to my daughter like that!"

"What, another one? How many freaking kids did you pop out, anyway?"

"Four," Celestia said coldly.

"Where are the other two?"

They said they couldn't make it. Sick, I think.

"Bah, whatever. Let's get started."

"For once I'm agreeing with Dr. Bullshit. Let's get this over with."

Yes, lets. Okay, first item on the agenda... the Storm Bikers wanted to air a grievance?

"Damn right. We want assurances that we won't be killed off."

"This is the first steady job I've ever held!"

"I DON'T WANNA DIE"

Will you calm down?!

"WHY DID THE BIKER HAVE A SNACK AFTER BEING FIRED? BECAUSE THE PINK SLIP WAS A LOAF OF BREAD."

Listen, you guys are villains. Villain characters have a pretty poor record of survival at Zoofights. If you want to live, I suggest a Heel Face Turn.

"Fuck that noise! I ain't pulling a Celestia, and the boys won't either."

"YEAH!"

"Stop discriminating against the working villain, you ass!"

"WE'LL SUE"

Uuuugh.

"So when is the fight happening, anyway?"

Don't know. I want to see if we can reach Erebus first. It'd be nice to have Eshe or Erebus or Pech or even Antoinette onboard, and I know Tornado is aching to match bikes with Doomrider.

"That fire-headed mutant's bike is far inferior to Cyclone."

Yes, yes, heard it a million- Sarah, what are you doing.

"Just having a snack."

"Heh heh. Good ol' little sis."

Put that away, there's no eating in the meeting room.

"I hope you brought enough donuts for everybody."

"She didn't even bring enough donuts for herself! Pfffft hahahaha-"

"Am I ever going to get to do anything else?"

Please have patience, Electra. There are an awful lot of you and I don't know if-

"So i have been THINKING......... about a SUGESTOIN to improve the RP......."

"Oh for fuck's sake what is he doing here"

"What am I looking at?"

Jeff, go away.

"The RP has too many WORDS and SAYINGS! Ther should be more short posses like in the goog old days that I was there for."

Jeff, that ship has sailed. Big character rosters and subplots everywhere in this bitch.

"god DAMMMMMMNNNNNNNNN"

Yeah, whatever. Does anyone have any other issues they'd like to address?

"I was thinking about adding a moral to our subplots."

A moral? Sarah, this isn't Aesop's Fables or a Saturday morning cartoon. This is Zoofights RP!

"That doesn't mean we can't use our positions to help educate!"

"Uh, you got a little frosting on your cheek there, kid."

"Thanks, Electra. Eheheh..."

What exactly did you have in mind, Sarah?

"I was thinking clean energy."

...What?

"You know, going green! We could have the bikers switch to electric bikes, and outfit the slums with LED bulbs, and-"

"Advocate steam power and you've got my support."

"Sarah, this is ridiculous. And green technology sucked in the 90s, anyway. Also Dr. Bozo supports it and you'll never catch me on board with any plan of that bastard."

"I'm also in favor of eating, breathing, and playing Sintendo games."

"Oh, FUCK YOU."

"Can I at least tell people to recycle?"

Sarah, I don't think we need any morals in our- DON'T YOU GIVE ME THOSE EYES.

STOP.

STOP THAT.

MEETING ADJOURNED, MEETING ADJOURNED!

The Changing of the Gang - Part Three

Skeiron locked onto the bikers and prepared to fill them with lead and lasers. He'd gotten into plenty of scrapes like this on his regular city patrols, and didn't expect Blade and his gang to be any different.

Blade saw Skeiron's slightly dented eyes light up, and he quickly leaped backward towards his bike, still clutching his trusty lead pipe. In one swift movement, Blade got onto his bike and hit reverse, swerving around a nearby building and out of sight. Skeiron ignored the other bikers and chased after the one who'd attacked him. Gale waved over his fellow yellow-wearing biker Gust, while the red-clothed bikers Tornado and Hurricane exchanged a few words, glancing at the WarMech as it stomped towards Blade's hiding place.

All four biker henchmen saw the lead pipe strike Skeiron again as soon as he reached the corner of the building. Then the robot let loose with his weapons at last, but Blade roared forward on his bike and dodged the attacks, speeding just out of range. Skeiron swung his body around, trying to lock on to the pesky biker.

Gust and Gale urged their bikes forward. Gust's bike slammed into Skeiron hard from his left side, sending him staggering. Gale was next, lunging out with his own lead pipe (rustier than Blade's) and managing a dent. Skeiron spun on one leg from the force of the impact, before activating his jetpack and rising into the air.

"Shit!" Hurricane yelled. "We can't reach the damn thing!"

"YOU can't," Tornado shot back as he pulled out a pistol. "I got it covered."

Tornado began firing at Skeiron as the WarMech tried to aim at the bikers, which were all zipping around on their bikes. Tornado was a good marksman - he was still driving around, but every so often he'd casually point his gun at his enemy and squeeze off a shot. A few bullets dinged Skeiron's armor, and one actually embedded in his armor. However, the bullets couldn't get past the Ultralisk plating installed over Skeiron's body, unlike the pipe shots.

At last, Skeiron connected with his laser on Gust, who yelled as his arm was burned and he lost control of his bike. The motorcycle tilted and skid, crashing into Hurricane's bike and leaving both gang members in a heap on the ground with their rides.

Blade, meanwhile, was forming a plan. Even though Manhattan wasn't his usual turf, he knew the layout pretty well from reconnaissance missions, and knew that the Excite Bikers had set up a series of ramps and platforms to do mad tricks on when they weren't making a ruckus. Hopping off his bike, he walked over to the collection of ramps, half-pipes, and metal boxes and began to haul them around.

Skeiron swung his body and embedded the street with bullets. One dinged off Gale's helmet, and the frightened biker quickly sped off to seek shelter. Tornado grit his teeth and aimed carefully as Skeiron turned to face him, still hovering in the air.

One instant, Skeiron's eye was glowing, a laser about to shoot into the red biker's chest.

The next instant, Skeiron was stumbling back, kicking his legs and blaring a warning siren. Tornado had managed to shoot out his laser eye, and the bullet was stuck, preventing regeneration.

Things only got worse for Skeiron as Blade returned to the fray, using wheelies to jump from rooftop to rooftop. The leader of the bikers urged his machine forward, and drove clear off the roof of the nearest building. Blade reared back with his lead pipe and swung, knocking Skeiron out of the air and sending him to the road with a teeth-grinding shearing of metal. Blade touched down, his motorbike's powerful shocks absorbing most of the impact. Blade and Tornado climbed off their bikes and approached the downed mech.

His gears were grinding together roughly, his weapons were all offline (at least for now), and he could barely lift himself to face his opponents, but Skeiron remained resolute. He took one slow step towards the two bikers. Another. Another.

Blade grinned under his helmet, and beckoned the WarMech closer. He reached behind him into a storage compartment on his bike, and if the scene of a heavily damaged WarMech struggling to keep fighting against two opponents in the city streets wasn't deja-vu inducing enough...

"Come on then, ya fuckin' toy. I've got a present for ya..."

Tornado, realizing Blade's intentions, quickly backed away. The leader of the bikers pulled out a small black object, yanked it to remove a piece, and tossed the rest at Skeiron's feet before quickly backing up.

The grenade exploded, kicking up dust and smoke and obscuring Skeiron from view. Blade shielded his eyes and waited patiently, his lead pipe twitching in one hand.






(2)

When the smoke cleared, all that remained of Skeiron was a pile of twisted, maimed wreckage and what was probably one of his feet.

KO

Blade dusted himself off. "Well! Guess that settles that. Come on, Tornado, let's round up the others and get a move on.

Tornado laughed as he got on his bike. "You still got it, boss!"

"Damn straight!"

The two bikers high-fived and puttered off to assist Gust and Hurricane.

-CELESTIA'S LAB-

"UNIT SKEIRON IS ONLINE."

"Oh, Skeiron, Skeiron, Skeiron. You really do take after Zephyrus, don't you?"

Celestia sighed and patted the chassis of her creation. Skeiron looked down at her.

"SKEIRON TO CELESTIA. SKEIRON TO CELESTIA. YOU ARE SHRINKING."

"No, Skeiron, I just had to put your consciousness in the ED-209 body until I can get around to building a new WarMech body. What happened, anyway?"

"THIS UNIT GOT ITS ASS KICKED."

"So I gathered."

"REQUESTING ASSISTANCE."

"How about you tell me about the ones who took you out?"

Skeiron proceeded to relate (in ridiculously detailed and obsessive fashion) the appearance and mannerisms of the bikers while Celestia took occasional notes, nodding.

"Hmm. They could be anywhere in the city. They could be doing anything to anyone, too. In my experience, the gangs of this city are quite unpredictable. At least I'm confident they won't find the lab. It's not like this is Sarah's house or anyth-"

Celestia froze and slowly put her hand to her mouth.

"Oh god. Skeiron, I think we'd better start this hunt sooner rather than later. My daughters aren't safe."

Celestia went to her toolbox and produced her staff. Skeiron stomped a foot in anticipation.

"Let's move."

The Changing of the Gang - Part Two

Excite Red had been lucky. He'd managed to reach the old garage he and his lackeys liked to hang out in, and had been able to escape with his life. There was safety in numbers.

Now, as he and what few of his compatriots remained roared off into the distance, Blade and his red-wearing top two associates Tornado and Hurricane stood over the crumpled bodies of several of Excite Red's men. Blade took out a dirty rag and wiped his trusty lead pipe clean of blood.

"Well, boys? Looks like the city's ours."

Tornado looked confused. "What about that 'guardian', boss?"

"Oh yeah. Heard a few things about that guy. Got any details?"

A biker in yellow walked over. "I do, boss."

"Spill it, Gale."

"They say the Guardian used to be a kobber-"

"I know that already! What about his powers, his abilities?"

"I hear talk some people say he's got a fine machine gun. And if you hurt him, he heals himself right before your eyes!"

Blade crossed his arms. "Normally I'd say you're exaggeratin'. But I know how fucked up those kobbers are. Listen, those freaks are tough, but get one alone and sheer numbers will take 'em out, believe-"

Blade was interrupted by a whoosh of jet engines.

"HE'S HERE!" Gale yelled as he scrambled for his bike.

Blade smacked his free palm with his lead pipe. "C'mon out then, 'Guardian'."

Whirring mechanical footsteps betrayed the guardian's appearance. Skeiron the WarMech turned a corner and stared at Blade and his gang.

"THIS UNIT DETECTED A DISTURBANCE."

Skeiron stomped forward, moving not towards Blade but to one of the downed Excite bikers. the WarMech leaned over the corpse, studying it carefully in Scan Mode. Gale edged over to Blade and leaned in.

"Whatta we do, boss?"

Blade's eyes smiled as he readied his lead pipe. "I thought you'd never ask."

Tornado leaned in on Blade's other side. "You sure about that? This thing looks like trouble."

"Do I ever turn tail from trouble? Bring the sucker on. Time to put it in its place. This is no city for heroes. Not anymore."

As Skeiron obliviously scanned the bodies, Blade crept up behind him and raised his pipe...






(1)

...And with the sound of a small-time blog villain once again proving to be more than meets the eye, Blade FLOORED Skeiron with a single swing from the pipe. The WarMech landed in a crumpled heap atop the body of a green Excite biker, leaking mechanical fluid.

"Hah!" Blade swung his pipe around in his hand like a parade baton. "Some guardian."

Gale raised one finger. "Uh, boss?"

"What?"

"Remember that thing I said about him healing right before yer eyes?"

"Yeah, it was bullshit after all. Look at him, he's-"

Standing up.

"Uh..."

Skeiron ran a scan on his internals. All seemed basically functional, but that blow would take a while to fully recover from - his stance was unsteady, and his walk limping, but all weapons were online, as well as his flight boosters and - most importantly - the humor module. Skeiron straightened up as best as he could and belted out the awesome 90s action hero line he'd been practicing in private for weeks.

"THIS UNIT BELIEVES IT IS TIME TO TOAST SOME BREAD."

"I told ya, boss."

"SHUT UP AND KILL IT!"

The Changing of the Gang - Part One

For years they had had an agreement. You stay in your district of the city, we stay in ours.

Maybe it was because of the new, grittier atmosphere that seemed to fall over the city on New Years Day. Maybe Blade had grown some ambition.

Maybe it was Maybelline.

But whatever the reason, the Excite biker gang, long the only bikers in Manhattan, were now on the backpedal from an invasion by the Storm Bikers of Brooklyn.

Excite Red chanced a quick look over his shoulder. They were still there. Five of them. These five were the highest-ranked members of Blade's gang. Two wore yellow, two red. Leading them was Blade himself, clad in green. And they all rode matching-color bikes.

Red thanked his lucky stars that his bike was faster. Blade's men were more physically powerful, and their bikes were almost an extension of their body, even in combat. Red had a chance if he could get to where his lackeys were - they'd have a numbers advantage. Alone, however, all he could do was run.

---

Blade's shining eyes glared out from under his helmet. The Excites were always cowards. They only picked a fight when they knew they could win. Blade hated people like that. For a long time now he'd considered the Excite gang beneath him. Not worthy of his time.

But with the new decade came new challenges. Anyone could see that crime had gone up in the city - not to the point of a living hell, for sure, but you used to be relatively safe walking home at night. Generally your biggest worry was running into that idiot who girly-ran while shrieking about how he was a vampire. Nowadays, however, you were less likely to be accosted by 80's references and more likely to just get mugged. Probably they'd learn a hard lesson in reality when the pack of crazy supermen who watched Zoofights came rolling back into the city, but until then it was open season. Blade had heard rumors that a few of the "kobbers" as they were called stayed behind, with one even specifically going after the punks and gangs. Crime may have risen elsewhere in the city, but in Manhattan it was surprisingly low.

Blade loved a challenge.

But if he wanted to face this defender, he's have to sweep out the rabble and set up shop here. That was why he was driving full throttle towards the terrified Excite Red.

Blade reached down at his side with one hand and felt the large lead pipe he kept hooked onto his bike. He couldn't wait to use it.

---

(MINOR CHARACTERS WOOO. Blade didn't even make an appearance last year, but he was referred to by one of his lackeys when Excite Red went too far out of bounds in his attempts to escape Sarah the first time they met. The Excite Bikers, meanwhile, were one of the very, VERY few villains of ZF6 to escape death (they died during the Tiamat fight, but that was only their shadow clones). Here, the two groups are serving as a deep and complicated metaphor. >_>

I'm not certain if this is a one-shot or not. In case it's not obvious, I fucking love Streets of Rage. For me, Streets of Rage 2 in particular is very nostalgic and very 90s, and its urban, violent, and over-the-top settings and characters lend themselves well to Zoofights.

In other news, I FINALLY finished Final Fantasy Tactics after not playing it much in the last several weeks. A very entertaining game, although I had to apply some headcanon to make sense of the ending.)