Chatzy Madness Volume 397: Extreme Clown Jury

Jumpropeman: link
Gooper Blooper: It's not online any more, but my first experience with the meme-ness of Shrek is from before it was a meme to make fun of Shrek
Jumpropeman: link
Gooper Blooper: the guy who runs Dinosaur Dracula did a series of articles when Shrek 2 was new, looking at the absolute cavalcade of merchandise it spawned and how ungodly omnipresent the franchise was at its' peak
Gooper Blooper: it was called Shrek Crap
Jumpropeman: shrek green ketchup defined a generation
Gooper Blooper: twinkies with green filling, Shrek-themed Operation, Shrek-themed play-doh dentist
Gooper Blooper: you name it, the ogre was on it, it almost reached the mad heights of Pokemania
Jumpropeman: all it takes is one Shrek the Third
Gooper Blooper: I saw Shrek The Third in theaters and I remember thinking it was okay if not as good as the first two
Gooper Blooper: amazing how devastating it was
Jumpropeman: I saw it in theaters too, I don't remember the full context but I think I went with a church group my friend was part of
RubyChao: Saint Shrek
Gooper Blooper: I've never seen the fourth film and maybe I should remedy that sometime
Jumpropeman: I do recommend it. Not as good as the first two still but if Shrek the Third never existed I bet people would be like "yeah that was a good trilogy"
Mosey Sheep: I didn't like the fourth film at all :V
Jumpropeman: garsp!
Mosey Sheep: I hardly even remember 3, it was so mediocre
Mosey Sheep: 2, though...
Mosey Sheep: I rather enjoyed the second film
Jumpropeman: its been quite a while since I saw Shrek Forever After admittedly
Mosey Sheep makes a video ranking the Shrek films
Gooper Blooper: It's been ages since I've seen any of them, though I remember Shrek 1's plot well thanks to the "Shrek but" videos
Jumpropeman: make sure to watch Scared Shrekless
Jumpropeman: and Shrek the Halls
Jumpropeman: and the Shrek Thriller Night video that is separate from Scared Shrekless
Jumpropeman: NO, I'm supposed to be done with Shrek!
Mosey Sheep: I didn't know they did another Halloween one
Gooper Blooper: CKR revives her movie blog to review every Shrek film
Jumpropeman: I must lock this forbidden knowledge away
Gooper Blooper: Yeah I thought you'd be sick of him by now so I didn't bring him up again, but then you started it and so
Gooper Blooper: here we are
Gooper Blooper: talking about shrek
Mosey Sheep: Somebody once told me
Mosey Sheep: AND IT WAS YOU, JRM
Mosey Sheep: YOU TOLD ME!
Jumpropeman: ive been indoctrinated
Jumpropeman: it's not my fault ; w ;

--- 

Jumpropeman sees an old video titled "Every Time Batman Killed Someone" has been renamed to "Every Time Batman Ended Someone"
RubyChao: ahahahaaaaaaa
RubyChao: c'mon, at least make it intentionally ridiculous
Gooper Blooper: Every Time Batman Demonetized Someone
Mosey Sheep: Every time Batman sent someone into the long dark night

---

Jumpropeman: "Boorp's Balls is a skill game. You help Boorp to defend against Meck, who throws colored balls at him."
Jumpropeman: this is like an AI generated game

---

Jumpropeman: No pressure but what's your favorite sega console
RubyChao: Genesis
Jumpropeman: you will be spared

---

Chatzy Madness Volume 378: A Fine Dinner Of Air

 (Re: the lone Rocket Grunt in Kanto in Pokemon GSC)

Miao: Chanda woulda just whooped that rocket's ass without a pokemon battle
Miao: "defeat me, you must, to find the truth!"
Miao: Chanda takes out her wrench, adjusts it so the middle part spews out flames
Miao: "Keep wastin' my time and see what happens, punk."
Miao: grabs him, points the flames towards him
Miao: she takes power grid repairs seriously

---

Draco: https://youtube.com/watch?v=cgOx7HXKgqk
Jumpropeman: radical!
Draco: I'm pretty sure it's canon.
Jumpropeman: that is how Clownpiece will win Blood Ball (which is Blood Bowl with baskets)
Draco: Double canon.

---

Midnight Sheep: "Earl, a rotund yellow alien wearing shorts and shades but no shirt to speak of"
Midnight Sheep: And yet, to speak of the lack of a thing...
Midnight Sheep: Is that not to speak of the thing itself?

---

(JRM is playing Yakuza, on the hunt for an infamous minigame...)

Jumpropeman: you know I'm looking for that karoake game
RubyChao: jrm; the karoke place is over in the lower right area of Kamurocho
RubyChao: iirc it's on the rightmost of the main vertical streets
Jumpropeman: ah good! I am close by!
Jumpropeman is stopped by a Palm Reader substory
Jumpropeman: karaoke will have to wait
RubyChao: the most Kobber thing about Kiryu
RubyChao: is that every time he just plans to go around town he gets into a variety of wacky situations and also fights
Miao!: noticed that when i moved my routine to the working bathroom on the other side of the house
Miao!: i
Miao!: stopped doing those
Miao!: i need to move them back, the facial stuff at least
RubyChao: for a second, harpy
RubyChao: i thought you meant that every time you crossed the house you got into a variety of wacky situations
Miao!: if that happened every time i'd probably have high blood pressure issues
Miao!: or cry because of sad MAGIC stuff
Miao!: or something

(later)

Jumpropeman plays darts drunk in Yakuza
Jumpropeman: how did I lose
festivel: don't drink and dart

(later)

Jumpropeman: "Substory 47: Crisis on the Crapper"
Jumpropeman: alright yakuza
Miao?: getting those corpse party elements in there
Jumpropeman: time to show me how bathroom problems become a street brawl
RubyChao: jrm has gradually been learning one of the most satisfying things about yakuza
RubyChao: that being
RubyChao: if you meet a jerk, 99 times out of 100 they will eventually challenge Kiryu to a fight
RubyChao: solely so that you can enjoy throwing them around
Jumpropeman roped into Pocket Circuit car races before I can even finish bathroom quest
Gooper Blooper: oh god, Sidequest Pileup
RubyChao: that's also yakuza in a nutshell
RubyChao: you will have all sorts of side things available at any given time
RubyChao: that's why there's a postgame mode of just "run around and do the stuff"
Jumpropeman: the funny thing is
Jumpropeman: for bathroom quest
Jumpropeman: I just had to walk like ten feet to the left to get to the item box
Jumpropeman: but even that got interrupted :V

(later)

RubyChao: i like how
RubyChao: even if jrm tells me which chapter of yakuza kiwami he's on
RubyChao: i have no idea how far along he'll be
RubyChao: as in how close to the end
RubyChao: because who knows how much side content he'll bump into
Jumpropeman: chao, it is very important I get this plush sparrow in the crane game! the crime family drama can wait!
Miao?: oh geez
Gooper Blooper: From the sound of it he could finish Yakuza in twenty minutes if he didn't keep getting roped into bumper cars and javelina herding minigames
RubyChao: that's pretty accurate
Miao?: that sound like real sidequests and i want them
RubyChao: don't forget bumping into majima
Jumpropeman: i'd probably not care about the sidestories and amusements if they weren't so entertaining

---

Draco: Controversial Opinion: VTubers
RubyChao: *SCREAMS LOUDLY*

Chatzy Madness Volume 356: Resting :D Face

(Re: new ZFRP setting)

MobileDraco: Let's go to Appalachia so I can do Fallout plots revolving around game-breaking glitches.
Tori: dear god, going to a setting where things are completely not what they seem
Tori: so feywilds
Jumpropeman: problem is we'd have to pay 100 dollars to make new topics for the setting
Tori: JRM PLEASE
MobileDraco: 100 a year, thanks

---

Jumpropeman: *scrolling through youtube recommended*
Jumpropeman: "THE OFFICIAL L&S LABOR AND DELIVERY!!"
Jumpropeman: I do not know why Youtube wants me to watch a woman give birth
Jumpropeman: or why they would feel it must be marked official
Jumpropeman: so tired of those fake L&S child delivery videos!
MobileDraco: D8

---

Jumpropeman: I
Jumpropeman: rented Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 from the family video
ivel: enjoy!
Jumpropeman: til death do us blart is within my grasp
Jumpropeman: they also had a bunch of random games dirt cheap like the last visit where I bought such hits as Smurf dance Party
Jumpropeman: mainly bought a bunch of kinect games no one was touching now that I have one
Jumpropeman: got animal crossing amiibo festival and some amiibo used to play it
ivel: nice
ivel: I liked amiibo festival honestly
Jumpropeman: they split them up to sell them separately but it still came out less than if you bought it near launch
ivel: I didn't like the animal crossing amiibo flood but :U
Jumpropeman: they were in a 2.99 box but didn't actually cost that for some reason
Matter Sheep: Hmmm. I see.
Matter Sheep: Hope you Blart.
Jumpropeman: blart was a buck for a five night rental
Jumpropeman: they were just happy someone took it
Jumpropeman: I was even talking about wanting to rent Paul Blart 2 at the register before CKR wandered off and found it
Jumpropeman: she wanted to rent Joker but they don't have it yet :V

Chatzy Madness Volume 355: Shimmer Contacts God and Patchouli Backfills Her Own Existence

Jumpropeman: is it possible
Jumpropeman: to hate chewbacca
Jumpropeman left the chat 19 hours ago
Kong Squad joined the chat 18 hours ago
Kong Squad: No
Kong Squad: It's not possible to hate Chewbacca
Brinehammer joined the chat 16 hours ago
Brinehammer: I hate Chewbacca 😈
Working Del joined the chat 10 hours ago
Working Del: can't believe the brine heel turn
Working Del left the chat 10 hours ago
Jumpropeman joined the chat 3 hours ago
Jumpropeman: brine why

---

MobileDraco: "Jumpropeman: anyone? anyone? Pressure Cooker? anyone?" <- Did we ever get these thoughts?
Jumpropeman: I never did play Pressure Cooker after that
Jumpropeman: perhaps it was too much
Jumpropeman: pressure
MobileDraco: You can play it for me next month.
Jumpropeman: finally, the person who wants to hear about pressure cooker!
MobileDraco: I so do. ;o;
Jumpropeman: I don't like the look of that pig on the right
Jumpropeman: i go to look up pressure cooker again and keep finding atari's gold mine of oddities

---

Jumpropeman: what if for christmas
Jumpropeman: I gave Sheep
Martian Sheep: No
Jumpropeman: rifftrax Rollergator
Martian Sheep: Huh
Jumpropeman: have I baffled you with this reasonable idea
Martian Sheep: I'm thoroughly baffled.
Tori: What if
Tori: girls

---

Tori: gonna test out this weighted blanket-
Tori: WHERE THE FUCK IS THIS JINGLING COMING FROM
Martian Sheep: LOOK OUT HARPY
Tori: SANTA ITS NOT FUCKING CHRISTMAS YET
Martian Sheep: IT'S THE ICE CREAM BUNNY
Tori: cease
Martian Sheep: HE'S COMING FOR YOU
Tori: i already ate ice cream you piece of crap
Draco: ALMOST CHRISTMAS MEANS IT WASN'T CHRISTMAS

Chatzy Madness Volume 353: The Big Fat Flumpus! I'll Put Salt On His Grapefruit.

Jumpropeman: people make fun of Pokemon characters for saying "An egg appeared! We don't know how it happened!" but they're probably just avoiding telling these child protagonists the pokemon are boning
Draco: Most likely, yes.
harpydoodle: "let me tell you about the pidgeys and the beedrills..."
Jumpropeman: they need to add a stork pokemon
Jumpropeman: so they can be how babies are mad
ivel: >mad
ivel: babies are fed up with storks carrying them around
Jumpropeman: i mean
Jumpropeman: babies seem pretty pissed after they're born
Draco: DeMonde just tells Shimmer that babies are made by moms in a hot forge for nine months after the dad provides them with raw materials.
harpydoodle: there's so much i can say on that
harpydoodle: but i won't
Jumpropeman: "Ewww, I thought they just had sex!"
Jumpropeman: even if Shimmer didn't know how babies were made before, she became pretty good friends with Meiling soooo...
harpydoodle: welp
harpydoodle: fair
Draco: "Nope. Forges. Parents only have sex when they want to annoy the neighbors. At least, that's what my neighbors apparently do."

---

Jumpropeman: "a Chef’s hat traditionally has 100 folds. This is said to represent the number of different ways a chef knows how to cook eggs"
Jumpropeman: "Hushed silence as a mysterious chef steps into the kitchen with 101 folds.
Tears begin to stream down the faces of the cookstaff, seemingly unable or unwilling to move or speak.
Tears stream from the new chef’s eyes as they open their mouth, but what comes forth is only a high-pitched buzzing, louder and louder.
Every egg for a hundred and one miles begins to shudder and crack of its own volition"
Galar Blooper: final boss 2020
RubyChao: gordon ramsay returns
Draco: He was THE KING IN YELLOW all along!

---

harpydoodle: >watching a video with ivel about google feud where the prompt was "what body parts can you ____"
harpydoodle: >one answer is "fill with bees"
ivel: another is "use in soccer"
ivel: which I understand what it means
ivel: but
ivel: it sounds much different
RubyChao: *Dr. Bees vibrates intensely*
harpydoodle: "there's a surprising lack of BEES in here-"
RubyChao: wait
RubyChao: you know what i realized?
ivel: there's a lack of BEES?
RubyChao: Queen Sectonia
RubyChao: is a bee
ivel: oh
harpydoodle: dr. bees betrayal incoming
RubyChao: who's ready for Dr. Bees to be my main character for Goopplot
harpydoodle: I'M SCARED
Galar Blooper: but what if Dr. Bees saves us all instead
harpydoodle: bee jesus...

Chatzy Madness Volume 352: Moida Da Bum

Draco: Time to start writing a huge boss fight post to rival King Dice finale.
RubyChao: wow draco
RubyChao: that's a really early start on the Deb boss fight
RubyChao: good enthusiasm!
Draco: There's a lot of her to kill. Gotta get started early.
Jumpropeman: I'm not saying it's equal in importance or impressiveness to the finale of Curse plot, but I DID just beat Santa Clause 3: Escape Clause for GBA so...
Draco: :D
Draco: I can't wait to read the review.
Jumpropeman: you will actually have to wait
Jumpropeman: and don't worry, I already played Pilotwings
Draco: If I have to wait, then I'm rioting and demanding you give Limbo of the Lost a better rating.
Jumpropeman: *makes a new lowest rating and gives that to Limbo of the Lost*
Draco: (; yes

---

Jumpropeman: holy
Jumpropeman: crap
Jumpropeman: we live on a planet where this happened
Jumpropeman: a wrestling event featured actual undertale content
Multi Sheep: I'm actually speechless
Draco: Best timeline.

---

Jumpscareman: another dunkey vid has helped me discover the worst merch store on the planet: The one for Kanye West's new Jesus is King album
Jumpscareman: for 240 DOLLARS, you can wear this disaster
Jumpscareman: or maybe you'd rather wear this 20 dollar sock
Phreak: What a disaster
Phreak: ...but why
Jumpscareman: maybe shorts with an extremely stretched Jesus face instead for 100 bucks?
Phreak: Do i want jesus on my leg?
Phreak: no
Jumpscareman: or 60 for TWO ORBS
Jumpscareman: on purple!
Phreak: Wow.
Phreak: who would even wear that
Jumpscareman: people blinded by the cult of personality
Phreak: So Prawn
Phreak: or ivan
Phreak: ...tsurubami to troll
Jumpscareman: the Curse uniform people refused to wear actually had a stretched out lobster image on it and the words PRAWN IS KING
Phreak: disaster
Jumpscareman: The Curse just thought Plague got a crosspromotion deal with Red lobster when he showed it to em
Phreak: blurg
Phreak: disgusting
Jumpscareman: *checks*
Jumpscareman: okay, the Curse Membership Kit did NOT include any expert level foreshadowing
Phreak: Lel
Jumpscareman: goop coulda totally put in a ten dollar red lobster gift card or something
MobileSpooko: wao
Jumpscareman: but nope
Jumpscareman: instead it had 3D glasses as its weird inclusion
Jumpscareman: "-The current issue of The Curse's newsletter (you'll get a new issue every month!)"
Jumpscareman: the October issue must have been depressing
Jumpscareman: or conversely
Jumpscareman: uplifting to motivate people for the big push
Phreak: Highlight that dinosaur collection
MobileSpooko: Chompette's handlers wrote the newsletter.

Chatzy Madness Volume 350: Your Cat Is Lame And So Is Your Hair

Draco: Is it too late to add Gyaos to the Curse?
RubyChao: draco you fool
RubyChao: you can't just enter gyaos like that!
RubyChao: enter his good twin Soayg
Draco: His brother, SPACE Gyaos?
RubyChao: is it actually just Space Gyaos
Draco: Yes. Harpy would vouch for Space Gyaos being a real thing.

---

RubyChao: so when we go back in time for season 11
RubyChao: is that when i introduce the Retro Curse
Draco: Yes.
Draco: It's Dolby leading an army of hipsters with laser guns.

---

RubyChao: who wants
RubyChao: a fun fact
Jumpropeman: i do if its redeemable for fun bux
RubyChao: it is!
Jumpropeman: !!!

---

Mulberry Sheep: Rv and L
Mulberry Sheep: Hunting Method: Bad
Gooper Blooper: and then for curse finale
Gooper Blooper: V and _
Mulberry Sheep: Just you wait!
Mulberry Sheep: They'll become RP Ending Godbosses someday!

---

Cornwind Evil: When Jeanne gets an icon, Goops has gone too far
Jumpropeman: we're safe since she and Chompette's handlers have no images
MobileDraco: Goops, draw Jeanne and Chompette's groupies.
Gooper Blooper: I did consider drawing Slade for Brine when she was described in plainclothes earlier but if I draw her and he kills her off I'd be sad
Gooper Blooper: so if she survives the season maybe I'll do just that
Waluigi laughs nervously, sweats
Gooper Blooper: SEE
Jumpropeman: what's gonna happen
Jumpropeman: they'll remove their hats
Jumpropeman: revealing they too are wearing super crowns
Jumpropeman: they were Chomps as well the whole time
Gooper Blooper: The whole "handful of shrapnel left" thing was admittedly partly to try and ward off a post-Reaper srspost from Brine of Chompette crying because her friends are all dead
Waluigi gallons of sweat
Gooper Blooper: oh nooooooooooo
RubyChao: don't worry, goops
RubyChao: i will take on the sin for you
RubyChao has Colonel Bogey kill them in golf

Chatzy Madness Volume 335: Cowboy Carrots With Gray Cowboy Hat And Gray Cowboy Bandana

Jumpropeman: to get into the Easter spirit, I've naturally been watching tons of horror related content on the Nightmare Expo youtube channel
Jumpropeman: apparently
Jumpropeman: someone threw a crab at Hungrybox for winning at a Smash Melee competition recently
ivel: wat
Jumpropeman: a real crab too
Jumpropeman: dead at least
ivel: guess they were feeling crabby

---

Jumpropeman: now this
Jumpropeman: is my kind of horror
M Sheep: Jrm, why
M Sheep: and now I've learned that this guy tried to pitch a show of this to adult swim.
M Sheep lies down
Jumpropeman: It sure is a great club sheep
Jumpropeman: I can get into this right here :)
M Sheep: Some of the elements going on here I do actually really like and think one could mine a lot creatively from it.
M Sheep: Other elements
M Sheep: Oi
Jumpropeman: i like this video just for its oddity, but the others didnt really capture me because its often a mishmash
M Sheep: From what little I've looked at, that one was the better viewing experi-
M Sheep: hold everything
M Sheep: this
M Sheep: madman
M Sheep: looking at some thing for adult swim he put together and there's a section in here where he sampled the song from Fun In Balloonland
M Sheep is having a very surreal experience at the moment
M Sheep: THIS
M Sheep: But maybe don't watch more than thirty seconds, for the sake of sanity.
Jumpropeman: >rated 1.2/10 on IMDB
Jumpropeman: ah, so this is another one of your treasures, is it
M Sheep: It's an odd one. Part footage of a parade with voiceover by a woman who may be very, very deep in her cups, part kind of home movie-esque where a kid and some other kids talk to balloon peo-
M Sheep: There's nothing I can say, no way to frame this movie where it sounds like a sane or enjoyable movie experience.
M Sheep: When Rifftrax did Rollergator, they equated it with Fun In Balloonland
Jumpropeman: wow
M Sheep: Having seen both, I would actually state on the record that Rollergator is the marginally more entertaining experience because, at the very least, while you can't follow what's happening because there is no script and all the dialogue is drowned out by an endlessly looping banjo track, there's always stuff happening onscreen. Fun In Balloonland takes its time to do anything.
M Sheep: NOW HERE'S SOME CONTENT WITH REAL TASTE
Jumpropeman: I really want to watch Rollergator now
M Sheep: The whole thing used to be up on Youtube, but no longer.
M Sheep: You might have to go to Rifftrax and purchase a vod.
M Sheep: Only other thing I can immediately think of is look at the online Pluto Tv's Rifftrax channel schedule and see if it's in rotation.
Jumpropeman: surely someone is selling the real deal
Jumpropeman: like a dvd with a printout cover or something
M Sheep: Amazingly, there's a single copy you could buy off the Walmart website for like fifty bucks if that tickles your fancy.
M Sheep: I have no idea how that's a thing
Jumpropeman: you know
Jumpropeman: I don't think
Jumpropeman: it is
Jumpropeman: tickling my fancy
M Sheep: There are a lot of places trying to sell this garbage for over forty dollars.
Jumpropeman: Rare, untouched Rollergator, mint condition
M Sheep: Cheapest for a physical copy turns out is 24.95 on Amazon. Cheapest overall is 9.99 digital video on Rifftrax; no idea if you can turn their commentary off.
Jumpropeman: i probably wouldn't mind the commentary
M Sheep: Honestly.
M Sheep: You might as well be able to hear something other than banjos.
M Sheep: To be unnecessarily fair, you do strain to hear things from the beginning but the banjo doesn't become an omnipresent companion until at least a few scenes in.
M Sheep: Chatzy Madness 911: Sheep's Been Talkin' 'bout That Rollergator Again
Jumpropeman: a day without rollergator is... well, that's hardly a day at all!

Chatzy Madness Volume 334: Leather Daddy Murderer

Jumpropeman: Earth Defense Force is one of those game series where I have no idea where to start
ivel: I never played them but I've seen gameplay
ivel: I'd just say whatever one you want seems to be right
Jumpropeman: Blaster Master is the same
Jumpropeman: clearly the right choice would be the game with the cute plant girl, but that's Blaster Master Zero 2
Jumpropeman: I'd RP her
ivel: Harpy said she has nice melons
ivel: lewd
ivel: bad Harp
ivel: she told me to send that too
Jumpropeman: you should see the fanart
Harpy: i'd like that-
Jumpropeman: link
Harpy: excellent
Jumpropeman: link
Draco joined the chat
Harpy: hi!
Jumpropeman: !ih
Draco: Hello
Draco: Wow. She's got nice melons.
ivel: hi Harpy
ivel: at least I spoilered that :U
Draco: I'm allowed to not spoiler things.
Draco: Or am I?
ivel: you're not
Jumpropeman: I do think the flower pot head is cute too
Jumpropeman: she's a pot head
Harpy: lel
Draco: 😲

---

Jumpropeman: some commercials say "tell your doctor if you've been somewhere fungal infections are common"
Jumpropeman: and I wonder what those places are like
RubyChao: presumably, the Mushroom Kingdom

---

RubyChao: so
RubyChao: ivel
Harpy: SO
RubyChao: when are you debuting Neptune for the Brawl?
ivel: when Harpy doesn't
Harpy: <<
Harpy: i did consider neptune for this setting.

Chatzy Madness Volume 332: GarfieldEATS

Jumpropeman: *Rings the Fallout 76 bell* New news: despite claiming all post release DLC will free and only cosmetics would be microtransanctions, there are now stat boosting outfits available only for a limited time, including the Silver Shroud outfit
RubyChao: MR. HOWARD SAYS THE RIDE NEVER ENDS
Jumpropeman: you think he keeps the development team locked in a bunker where they can't see the feedback from the rest of the world
Gooper Blooper: oh good, it had been a few weeks since I'd heard about a fallout 76 fuckup
Jumpropeman: also
Jumpropeman: apparently
Jumpropeman: the outfits now have lost their buffs
Jumpropeman: so if you bought it for the buffs
Jumpropeman: sucks for you :V

---

Gooper Blooper left the chat
Draco: Tsk. Barely missed Goops.
Jumpropeman: I'm still missing goops
Jumpropeman: but he'll be back tomorrow
Draco: Or will he?!
Draco: >=D
Jumpropeman: did you cut his brakes too?
Draco: Even better: I rearranged his Garfields.
Jumpropeman: you've taken things too far, draco
Jumpropeman: i mean, murdering a guy is one thing
Jumpropeman: practically a prank really
Jumpropeman: but you're destroying a man's soul
Bree: no no, he only rearranged the garfields. he didn't damage or take them
Bree: that would have been truly heinous
Jumpropeman: we'd have a regular Garfgate scandal on our hands then
Jumpropeman: or Gatefield perhaps?
Draco: I'm not a monster.
Jumpropeman: To celebrate the 45h anniversary of the Watergate Scandal, the hotel had some fun changes: "In addition to the room 214 makeover, hotel guests receive room keys that read "No Need to Break-In," while the hotel's main phone number refers back to the original break-in date (844-614-1972). Rather than hold music, hotel callers hear speeches by President Richard Nixon. And in each room are pencils engraved with the message, "I stole this from the Watergate Hotel.""
Draco: lol

---

Gooper Blooper: 53 hours in on Disgaea 5
Gooper Blooper: this is a long goddamn game
Bingo Champion: suffer
Bingo Champion: nerd

---

Jumpropeman: "Fallout 76 Player Banned After 900 Hours For Having Too Much Ammo"
Draco: Saw that. Even Bethesda can't believe someone would spend time playing Fallout 76.

Assembly

-ZFPD BUILDING-

Donuts were the finest food to ever be invented. On this, Officer Patricia Wagon was absolutely certain. She didn't care if cops and donuts was a stereotype - they were delicious, dammit, and nothing would keep her from her daily donut. But as she finished eating her treat and washed it down with a sip of black coffee, her eyes drifted over her mug to the girl sitting across from her nibbling worriedly on a toaster pastry with one hand while scanning the Hoku Lewa Times newspaper she clutched in her other hand. The girl looked like an overwound toy, ready to snap if the slightest thing went wrong... even though so far things had been smooth sailing.

Of course, Patty suspected she knew why.

"Are you going to be ready for this?"

"AAAGH!" Denise Marmalade flung her newspaper into the air in a panic, though she miraculously didn't throw her pop-tart. "What?! Now?! OKAY!" She opened her mouth wide-

"Wait, wait, hold on-"

Denise promptly shoved the entire rest of her pop-tart into her mouth, and promptly began choking on it. Patty groaned, put down her coffee, and slipped behind her coworker for the Heimlich maneuver. Once the artificial incident was over with, Patty spun Denise around and put her hands firmly on her shoulders.

"You're too tense, Denise. You need to calm down."

"B-but the kobbers are coming! They're coming in less than ten days! Some of them are already HERE!"

"I know. And there will be incidents, and there will be trouble, and there will be stress. I get it. But you have to take it easy and not act like it's the end of the world. This happens every year! I've read all about it, Browny's told me stories, it's crazy compared to other places but here it's nothing new. So just try and take it one day at a time, alright?"

"A... a-alright. Thanks, Officer Wagon."

"Please. We're coworkers!" Patricia patted Denise on the shoulder and gave her a friendly smile. "Call me Patty."

A Gross of Bootleg Pokemon Figures

If you've spent any time looking for Pokemon stuff on eBay, you've seen them. Bootlegs. Shipped out of Hong Kong in most cases, cheap bootleg stuff is copious on eBay, and Pokemon in particular is a VERY popular target. It doesn't help that Tomy charges frankly ridiculous amounts for their little officially licensed figurines. Of course there'd be a market for cheap bootlegs when a legit two-inch figure costs upwards of eight bucks to acquire! Naturally, these figures are smaller, poorly painted, often off-model, and made of cheaper materials, but that's the tradeoff you make when dealing with bootlegs.

For too long I've wanted to get my hands on some of these beautiful disasters. At long last, I have. They were being sold in 24-count bags for the pittance of $1.60. That meant each individual figure was a mere 6.66 cents. Ominous, but I can't deny the bargain! So I bought six bags.

A full gross of Pokemon figures for under ten dollars. Was it worth it? Let's find out.

Chatzy Madness Volume 283: Mr. Nutrient

RubyChao: *checks ivel's steam profile for reasons*
RubyChao: >​he's friends with youmu
RubyChao: lucky D:

---

N❜Yasunna: "Once again, there are some subtle aspects I wish weren't lost when this Pokemon evolves, since Toxapex sort of trades "sad goth medusa child" for "devil ghost in a cactus igloo""
Beautiful Chickadee: i'm the devil ghost in a cactus igloo
Gooper Blooper: oh good, I'm not the only one reading Bogleech's Pokemon reviews
Gooper Blooper: he hates Gallade but aside from that I line up with him an awful lot
Beautiful Chickadee: unreasonable gallade hate
N❜Yasunna: yoooooooooo
N❜Yasunna: I don't remember how I found them
RubyChao: but what does he have against gallade
N❜Yasunna: but I agree a lot too
N❜Yasunna: especially on Lucario
RubyChao: it's so evil :<
N❜Yasunna: not as strongly as him though
Gooper Blooper: Lemme go check the review again to refresh
Gooper Blooper: His dislike of Gallade seems to stem largely from what makes Gallade so popular in the first place
Gooper Blooper: That being it seemed like pandering to the Gardevoir fan club by giving them a male version so they can pretend male Gardevoirs don't exist
RubyChao: rip
RubyChao: can't argue with that, i suppose
N❜Yasunna: I think the one thing that bothers me about Gallade's design is that waist
Gooper Blooper: but yeah Lucario is his least favorite of all
N❜Yasunna: its like he swallowed an ostrich egg and it got stuck
Gooper Blooper: weird design choices being the main thrust of that, not so much the fact that it's really obvious fanservice bait
RubyChao: to be fair, i might be biased towards Gallade since i've ruined him for myself for years
N❜Yasunna: he's the only person on earth who agrees with me that giant inexplicable spikes are not justification for a steel typing
Gooper Blooper: I never liked Gallade's waist either, I remember in some drawings of Gallade I did long ago I adjusted it to look more natural, like a giant bellbottom
Gooper Blooper: I think so too tho!
N❜Yasunna: a trio has formed!
Gooper Blooper: also bogleech gave Beheeyem a perfect score
Gooper Blooper: so that's nice
N❜Yasunna: we all make mistakes
RubyChao: *jrm immediately - kek
Gooper Blooper: :>​I
Gooper Blooper: oh god I fucked that up and it looks creepy
Beautiful Chickadee: goopy is horrified that he has a nose now
ivel: Harps pls
RubyChao: it looks hilarious

---

Beautiful Chickadee: my dog begs for pizza
Beautiful Chickadee: but no dog
Beautiful Chickadee: i am more hungry than you

Chatzy Madness Volume 279: Aggie In Strangvia

Orrie Cather: funnily enough, despite my position being eliminated soon, they really gussied up the office and turned the desk back to facing people instead of away
Gooper Blooper: they're gonna sit the robot at the desk and he'll wave at everyone
RubyChao: well hey, Robot was designed for that, after all
Orrie Cather: ive been RPing machines that help old people
Orrie Cather: and now one takes my job
Orrie Cather: not sure if that's irony

---

RubyChao: "Its title character is a young woman named Skye who lives in a fantasy realm searching for her mother. She does not use firearms, but can perform magic using Skittles candies, as well as use her staff as a melee weapon, though it also becomes an energy weapon when used in conjunction with the Skittles."
RubyChao: ah, product placement
Gooper Blooper: SKITTLES
RubyChao: "A 300-page script, by lead writer and designer Andy Wolfendon, was written and submitted to Mars, which only asked to change a joke, utterances of "damn" and "remove all the snakes from the game." When Braswell asked for clarification, they said that there could be snake-like creatures, but no actual snakes."
Gooper Blooper: That's a weird one. I guess they just hate snakes
BEFRIEND CLEFFA: skittles!
RubyChao: fun fact
RubyChao: skittles removing lime was one of the greatest betrayals in maria's life
BEFRIEND CLEFFA: it is the biggest betrayal of my life
BEFRIEND CLEFFA: and i will never forgive them for it
BEFRIEND CLEFFA: i will gorge on kit kats instead :I
Draco: Lime was a good Skittle.
RubyChao: not the best tho
RubyChao: that will always be grape
Draco: True facts

---

Draco: "I would like a Brgrgr with a side of personal space, please. ( ⚆ _ ⚆ )" is still my favorite line.
Gooper Blooper: edea was very excited okay
Draco: ​It's a shame Edea left for Eternia. Parsee was going to order more Brgrgrs in the off-season.
Draco: ( ⚆ _ ⚆ )
Gooper Blooper: noooo
Draco: Fortunately Stacy is the best chef ever.

Chatzy Madness Volume 278: Some Meaty In My Cheesy

Slam Jammin Japan asked Chatzy to choose between he and he. Chatzy chose: he
Slam Jammin Japan asked Chatzy to choose between has and has. Chatzy chose: has
Slam Jammin Japan asked Chatzy to choose between no and no. Chatzy chose: no
Slam Jammin Japan: choose style, style
Slam Jammin Japan: fuck

---

Del: i feel bad because i kept dunking on shantae for being a game for people who like midriffs

(later)

PhoneDel: The Shovel Knight ruse was a distaction
PhoneDel: I has the Shantae

---

Sora: i somehow want to go ice scating
Sora: ...
Sora: skating.
Nero Wolfe: gross
Gooper Blooper: I'M THE SCATMAN

---

Nero Wolfe: if I can't use it on my lap, NO ONE CAN
Gooper Blooper: "I'm mildly inconvenienced! TIME TO NUKE ALL MY DATA"

---

Sora: sarah
Sora: *holds up a white mage*

Chatzy Madness Volume 275: Alola Edition

RubyChao: i actually tried to search "mizuki" on danbooru recently before i remembered that oh right that's not her canon name

---

Lucy Pevensie: >​"Ships December 29th-January 25th"
Lucy Pevensie: >:I
Lucy Pevensie: >​Expedited shipping: "$48 to get it sooner!"
Lucy Pevensie: ​>:I
RubyChao: MERRY CHRISTMAS
RubyChao: HO HO HO HO

---

Lucy Pevensie: did a bit of Christmas shopping, most of it wasn't really discounted for the holiday but once I got the discounted ones I just said "Screw it" and bought some others too :P
Lucy Pevensie: unrelated but wouldn't it be funny if you totally PM'd me your address on the forum some time?
Brinehammer: Nice! I still need to shop, sooner or later. I believe it though. If you're ever in Ohio, swing by!
Lucy Pevensie: Whenever Self-Driving cars get big you bet I'm taking cross-country road trips while I'm sleeping in the front seat

---

Lucy Pevensie: "Richard Nixon admitted in later life that he dreamed of becoming a rapper, saying "I have often thought that if there had been a good rap group around in those days, I might have chosen a career in music instead of politics.""
Lucy Pevensie: I'd kill to hear Nixon rap

---

Gooper Blooper: remember when I played Pokemon White and my team slowly filled up with bug types
Gooper Blooper: it's happening again in Moon
ivel: sounds about right
Gooper Blooper: Half the team is bugs
Gooper Blooper: two more ​look​ like bugs but aren't actually bugs
Gooper Blooper: the odd one out is a misdreavus because Viola
ivel: something about your team really
ivel: bugs me

---

RubyChao: another thought i had while looking at alolan desks and the computers on them
RubyChao: it's actually really cool that you can see the progress of technology over the past twenty years both in a meta and in-game context when it comes to pokemon
RubyChao: compare what we see of computers in gen 1 to gen 7
RubyChao: and of course what gen 1 and gen 7 look like :V
Gooper Blooper: What really hammered it in for me was some of the enemy trainers
RubyChao: the ones with smartphones, right :V
Gooper Blooper: specifically, ​the tourists carrying their tablets everywhere
Gooper Blooper: ...yes :V
RubyChao: ​reminder that one of them was literally named Mariah, that was too perfect
Gooper Blooper: but yeah, one of them starts going on about apps and I'm like "we've come a long way from 'It's a SNES!'"
RubyChao: Better get going!
Gooper Blooper: I know it doesn't get the love Fat Science Guy does
Gooper Blooper: but pokemon wouldn't be complete without the little nintendo console ad in the player's room
RubyChao: yep
RubyChao: i mentioned this already, but one of the things i was most looking forward to finding out was "did Fat Science Guy make his obligatory appearance"
RubyChao: i was very happy when i found out he did
Gooper Blooper: TECHNOLOGY BLOWS ME AWAY

Chatzy Madness Volume 274: Gen ‘The 150,000‘ Gar

RubyChao: "Temperatures are said to be in the excess of 620 degrees Celsius. Entire beaches reduced to glass. Plant life burnt off the face of the earth. All that remains of Kanto is that single, flying object. To this day, it never stops moving, and with my eyes adjusted to the eternal light of the fires, I can make out a barely-outlined winged object."
RubyChao: okuu, why?!
Draco: She just wanted to have fun in the sun. ;-
Harpy: bad end TH11 okuu
Draco: My other eye got blind.

---

ivel: http://youtube.com/watch?v=nckB1GRol-E
RubyChao: so goops, if zenith met hecatia
RubyChao: would his first reaction be to play that ad
Gooper Blooper: it was even in las vegas
Gooper Blooper: incredible

---

Harpy: i had a dream where spy posted his wrapups
Harpy: and somehow
Harpy: someway
Harpy: one of his characters trusted a superweapon/great magical artifact/whatever the fuck to Sine
RubyChao: >​trusted it to sine
Harpy: and then in the next post it clarifies that he was trusting it to some squidlady with the same name
Jumpropeman:haha

---

Jumpropeman: maybe now that Sarah's retired, people will stop dumping bodies on her lawn
RubyChao hurls the corpse of Kasumi on Sarah's lawn

---

Jumpropeman: if I had done lightning bolt society finale before Spectrumplot finale
Jumpropeman: I would have tried to work in a Lightning Bolt Society quote during the Identity part
Jumpropeman: maybe two so they could still be pairings
Jumpropeman: ​or a Woppy quote :V
Gooper Blooper: "Those who dress up as trees..." "And those who forsake clothes entirely."
Harpy: i laughed
Jumpropeman: XD

Chatzy Madness Volume 254: Pikapurp

ThermalChao: AAAAAAA
ThermalChao: hi

---

Normal Guy Carlos: i take other people's shit and then add onto them like i'm adding 20 crab claws to this sarah drawing
Normal Guy Carlos: (i'm not)
Gooper Blooper: perfectly normal sarahcrab

---

(Concerning Dimension's Hasp, a world in RP of cut/unused/retconned/rumored content in video games)

ThermalChao: i wonder
ThermalChao: could i get away with creepypasta stuff here
ThermalChao: because it's
ThermalChao: ​JUST A GLITCH
Jumpropeman: ​return of K. Rool Country? :V​
ThermalChao: sadly no
ThermalChao: k. rool country did not use the phrase just a glitch
Jumpropeman: ​DEAD UTSUHO​
Jumpropeman: just post entirely in spanish
Gooper Blooper: I believe that creepypasta stuff would only qualify if it genuinely ​was​ "just a glitch"
Gooper Blooper: which it never was, it was evil
ThermalChao: blast, foiled again
ThermalChao: there goes my chance to set up my next Spooky Scary entrant
Gooper Blooper: it's a little early for that :V
ThermalChao: because if spoopyfite happens i'll probably just enter more creepypasta, sorry :V

---

Normal Guy Carlos: this is the dumbest thing i've done yet
Normal Guy Carlos: i have no idea i just know "pikablu" and just made a thing
Jumpropeman: there was this thing
Jumpropeman: which started the pikablu rumors
Jumpropeman: even though its pinkish-purple
Normal Guy Carlos: pikapurp
Normal Guy Carlos: doesn't have the same ring
Normal Guy Carlos: that's obviously marill to me
Normal Guy Carlos: :U
Jumpropeman: Purpachu
Jumpropeman: Pinkachu
Jumpropeman: link
Normal Guy Carlos: canon
Jumpropeman: look at this damn thing
Normal Guy Carlos: plz
Jumpropeman: looks like the bootleg version of an actual pokemon
Normal Guy Carlos: bootlegs
Gooper Blooper: As someone who was around for Pikablu
Gooper Blooper: As far as I recall, it was simply a nickname for Marill before GSC got localized
Gooper Blooper: So Pikablu and Marill are identical
Normal Guy Carlos: ...
Jumpropeman: Pikablu is in Bill's Garden with Togepi
Jumpropeman: duh
Gooper Blooper: You could easily swap in that pink thing though
Jumpropeman: and the other PokeGods
Normal Guy Carlos: why must you ruin me, goops
Normal Guy Carlos: nah i kid
Gooper Blooper: lel sorry :V
Jumpropeman: and it says PIKAPURP
Jumpropeman: in the raspiest manly voice
Normal Guy Carlos: THE DREAM IS DEAD
Jumpropeman: http://vocaroo.com/i/s1FXmwyyWqxp
Normal Guy Carlos: i'm dead
Normal Guy Carlos: someone's gonna need to continue this plot and it's not me
Normal Guy Carlos: i'll be here
Normal Guy Carlos: dead
Jumpropeman: Pikapurp takes a sip from its beer while sitting in a lawnchair on the porch
Jumpropeman: "Gonna fix the car later, mhm"

Chatzy Madness Volume 247: Thành Viên Dóng Góp

M Sheep: "Sarah is short. We all know this".
M Sheep: Thank you for the reminder, narration

---

Jumpropeman: *tries to disable automatic updates on Raven's Cry*
Jumpropeman: the only options are "Always keep this game up to date", "only update when I launch this game" and "High priority- always auto-update this game before others"
Jumpropeman: they REALLY don't want you to have to suffer unpatched Raven's Cry
EclipseChao: but
EclipseChao: but be brave guy ;_;

---

EclipseChao: GB: Oh, JRM's gone for good I think
EclipseChao: a thousand keks
EclipseChao: (reminder that the end of 2012 was the deadliest bullet that we somehow dodged)
EclipseChao: okuu no
iKomodo: Pit: WHERE DID YOU LEARN THAT LANGUAGE >:I
iKomodo: SteelKomodo: what a shallow, materialistic fucking jackass
iKomodo: You'll never guess whom I said this about
EclipseChao: yourself?
EclipseChao: dirk?
EclipseChao: JRM?
EclipseChao: the major?
iKomodo: Nope
iKomodo: Rabbit from Winnie the Pooh
EclipseChao: wow, whadda choice
iKomodo: I was watching the Winnie the Pooh thanksgiving special at the time
iKomodo: and it occurred to me just how much of a jackass this one character is when I saw how he condescends to everybody and never learns from his mistakes
iKomodo: like, fuck that guy

---

EclipseChao: "Although the No Limit Soldiers were packaged as a face stable, they failed to connect with the mostly Southern WCW audience. In Master P's first and only appearance on WCW Television, (against the suggestion of the bookers and other wrestlers) he bullied heel wrestler Curt Hennig by rejecting a present he gave to Silkk The Shocker (a custom made cowboy hat) and then assaulting him with a birthday cake. This was perceived as a heel action by the fans and produced a lack of reaction due to confusion because Hennig was a hated heel, but being bullied by a group of people promoted as faces."
Bree: "assaulting him with a birthday cake"
Bree: what even
Bree: how even
Bree: honestly that sounds awesome
iKomodo: I keep thinking of classic Sooty or Chuckle Brothers when I read that
iKomodo: y'know, the old custard pie in the face routine

(later)

A Bit Less Blind: I see Chao is examining WCW stupidity again
A Bit Less Blind: Yes, the No Limit Soldiers vs the West Texas Rednecks are one of the biggest tone deaf moments, though they have competition for like 40 other moments
EclipseChao: i still reread Why WCW Went Out Of Business when i'm on the train sometimes
EclipseChao: it makes for very entertaining reading material

---

Harpy: at this bookstore
Harpy: i got an old cookbook for 3.50
Gooper Blooper: neat
Harpy: 204 recipes to make in 30 minutes
Harpy: ...no, you don't make all of them at once
Harpy: unless you're celestia

Chatzy Madness Volume 240: Bubsy's Back Edition

Draco: Why does this remind me of this chat?

---

(Regarding the final boss of Pokemon TCG 2)

GarnetChao: "Okay, you've gotta hear his motive rant.
'Pokemon cards are to be used solely to fight and win! It is under this philosophy that I have founded Team GR! What's the point in collecting cards if they are not useful in battle? They must be used, I say! I have rescued the cards from those pathetic hoarders on your island. I have invented new ways to battle, putting those wasted cards to use! This is the ultimate form of devotion towards Pokemon cards! They are not meant to be stashed away like our foes do to them! Only one with the utmost respect for cards can be the master of them. I will never be defeated by a simpleton who merely collects them! But the time has come! Have a seat, and I shall destroy you in a fiery duel!'
...So it's... the whole game was the old TCG argument of Players Vs Collectors the whole time?!"
Artsifter: So wait, how does this change Goops' explanation of the game-events, Chao? .__. Is the warring country Players, then?
GarnetChao: it still fits
GarnetChao: the warring countries of players and collectors :V

(And, below is the speech the villain gives after you win, which never got posted to Chatzy.)

"What in the... I've lost... How could I have been defeated in a card battle against you... twice? Yet I had insurmountable fun in those duels... How could this be? My heart... it's still beating so fast! I've never had such fun playing the Pokemon card game before! This is the first time I've ever lost playing the Pokemon card game. Do you remember what I said before? 'Cards are only meant to be used.' I thought cards were only useful when they brought power to a deck. Now I see differently... they're all to have fun. Even when collecting! Now matter how you use your Pokemon cards, you must enjoy yourself! You made me realize this during our card battles! Gloria... thank you very much! I give my word that we shall stop stealing cards from innocent people. Pokemon cards ought to be in the hands of people who love them. If I've learned anything from my cards, it's the value of friends. Here, take the insignia of my friendship now!"

---

HOLY SHIT: http://youtube.com/watch?v=sPbtlFVV3X0
Jumpropeman joined the chat
Jumpropeman: i heard
Jumpropeman: my calling