Chatzy Madness Volume 355: Shimmer Contacts God and Patchouli Backfills Her Own Existence

Jumpropeman: is it possible
Jumpropeman: to hate chewbacca
Jumpropeman left the chat 19 hours ago
Kong Squad joined the chat 18 hours ago
Kong Squad: No
Kong Squad: It's not possible to hate Chewbacca
Brinehammer joined the chat 16 hours ago
Brinehammer: I hate Chewbacca 😈
Working Del joined the chat 10 hours ago
Working Del: can't believe the brine heel turn
Working Del left the chat 10 hours ago
Jumpropeman joined the chat 3 hours ago
Jumpropeman: brine why

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MobileDraco: "Jumpropeman: anyone? anyone? Pressure Cooker? anyone?" <- Did we ever get these thoughts?
Jumpropeman: I never did play Pressure Cooker after that
Jumpropeman: perhaps it was too much
Jumpropeman: pressure
MobileDraco: You can play it for me next month.
Jumpropeman: finally, the person who wants to hear about pressure cooker!
MobileDraco: I so do. ;o;
Jumpropeman: I don't like the look of that pig on the right
Jumpropeman: i go to look up pressure cooker again and keep finding atari's gold mine of oddities

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Jumpropeman: what if for christmas
Jumpropeman: I gave Sheep
Martian Sheep: No
Jumpropeman: rifftrax Rollergator
Martian Sheep: Huh
Jumpropeman: have I baffled you with this reasonable idea
Martian Sheep: I'm thoroughly baffled.
Tori: What if
Tori: girls

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Tori: gonna test out this weighted blanket-
Tori: WHERE THE FUCK IS THIS JINGLING COMING FROM
Martian Sheep: LOOK OUT HARPY
Tori: SANTA ITS NOT FUCKING CHRISTMAS YET
Martian Sheep: IT'S THE ICE CREAM BUNNY
Tori: cease
Martian Sheep: HE'S COMING FOR YOU
Tori: i already ate ice cream you piece of crap
Draco: ALMOST CHRISTMAS MEANS IT WASN'T CHRISTMAS

A Merry Mega Christmas

-OLYMPIA MALL-

"So 'Mega Christmas' is actually a thing, huh?"

Xyra nodded at the confused Sumireko. "Yeah. A lot of Olympia's businesses push it as the ultimate version of Christmas. It gets a lot of backlash for being super commercialized, even more than regular Christmas since it's purely a company-invented holiday. Like Black Friday. But kids think it's cool and a lot of corporations will frame their charity donations and toy drives as being part of it, so it sticks around."

Sumireko shook her head with a small smile. "Heh... Olympia feels like a slice of the future sometimes."

"...So, here we are, huh? Another year over, another fleet of enemies defeated... off to prepare for next year's adventures. It's different this time, though."

Sumireko and Xyra turned at the voice, seeing Dolby approaching the group and looking wistful. Sumi waved at her friend. "Different? What's different about it now, Dolby?"

"There's less than two weeks left in 2019. That means there's less than two weeks left of the decade. The New Tens, Sumi... it's ending. A whole decade of stuff happening, including the entirety of the Kobbers' history so far. The 2010s will become part of history forever... and one day, I'm gonna reminisce about it." Dolby looked around the mall with a vaguely sad smile. "I'm a nostalgia elemental... but this is the first time I've ever actually been around for the turn of the decade. It's a little scary."

"Don't be afraid!" Xyra put a reassuring hand on Dolby's shoulder. "I don't remember my life before I became Xyra. Seanet had nothing to tell me about it... but it's okay. I've got you guys now. And so this is basically MY first new decade, too. We'll face it together, alright?"

"..."

Dolby smiled at the reassuring face of her friend and nodded. "Right. Let's head into 2020 with our heads high."

"Yeah! And look out for new adventures!" Sumireko cheered, pumping a fist.

"As energetic as ever." Dolby laughed a bit as Sumi hopped around eagerly, ready to continue their last-minute Christmas shopping. The three of them walked on together, deeper into the mall. They were the only members of Nerd Club here today. Tokiko and Rachel had both long finished their shopping. Tokiko's dislike of large crowds and Rachel's careful planning of the holidays meant both had taken care of business weeks ago, but Xyra and Sumireko were rather more flakey and had to get a few more things before they were finished buying gifts. As for Dolby, she'd finished her shopping, but her love of the mall kept her coming back anyway.

A disturbance in the middle of the mall caught their attention, especially when they spotted a certain bartender they knew very well. Jill Stingray, clad in a red-and-green elf costume, stood next to the big comfy chair of a rather unconventional-looking Mall Santa, a redhead that the nerds didn't recognize.

Dolby blinked. "...Jill? Is that YOU?"

"Oh my god, what are you wearing." Xyra covered her mouth to suppress a giggle.

Chatzy Madness Volume 351: The Curse Finale Edition

Jumpropeman: you know
Jumpropeman: Permakill would be a good name for a Kobber villain...
Jumpropeman: *rewrites my 2020 plot*
Gooper Blooper: any character he successfully damages is permakilled
Gooper Blooper: this can't possibly go wrong
Jumpropeman: so he's just Gregg
Gooper Blooper: I thought Gregg only normal killed
Jumpropeman: true, true
Jumpropeman: BUT
Jumpropeman: "In Conker's Bad Fur Day, Gregg has green shoes. However, In L&R, his shoes were changed to purple, along with his robe having a slight dark blue tint."
Jumpropeman: CLEARLY
Jumpropeman: Green Shoes Gregg permakills
Jumpropeman: and we only met Purple Shoes, Slight Dark Blue Tint Gregg
Gooper Blooper: I hope that wiki tells us about Gregg's personality
Ripple: I died to gregg?!?
Jumpropeman: the conker wiki does not appear to indulge in personality lists
Jumpropeman: "Gregg is very short (which Conker points out in the game when he dies for the first time) and speaks with an English accent. He despises cats (which have nine lives) and the Undead alike. Despite being the (or perhaps "a"?) Grim Reaper, Gregg is less than frightful."
Jumpropeman: however it is a fan of parenthetical statements

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Jumpropeman: why is doremy your least favorite hu goops
Modded Sheep: She knows what she did!
Jumpropeman: her last name is sweet
Jumpropeman: how can anyone hate her!
Gooper Blooper: Doremy is my least favorite hu because I regularly see her in a Yukari-esque holier-than-thou trolling role, AND the majority of that time she is focused specifically on going after Sumireko because of the whole "Sumi dreams to visit Gensokyo" thing and Doremy is all about that kind of stuff
Gooper Blooper: Now, those two things alone would be a rough tie with Yukari, but
Gooper Blooper: Yukari is cuter
Jumpropeman: but Doremy is covered in balls!
Modded Sheep: That IS true...
Modded Sheep: She IS covered in balls, Goops...
Modded Sheep: You CAN'T deny that she's covered in balls...
Modded Sheep has no idea who Doremy is

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RubyChao: you want me to edit my post to take out my stuff for your team, draco?
RubyChao: cause i'm cool with that
Gooper Blooper: As long as Yohane's attack is still "hacking" because I've already written that part
Jumpropeman: it's not just hacking
Jumpropeman: it's wheezing too!
RubyChao: i mean
RubyChao: yohane's attack options are basically
RubyChao: -Hacking
RubyChao: -Flopping
RubyChao: -Throwing Her Hair Meatball Somehow
RubyChao: so i think you're good

Chatzy Madness Volume 340: The Big Boob Brawl

Jumpropeman: that's a quality xyra picture
Gooper Blooper: I got a folder fulla them
Gooper Blooper: a xyra for every situation
Gooper Blooper: Stay tuned for Xyraplot when Project Scarlett shows up to kill and replace her
IDelneth Delkin: I cant believe the next Xbox is gonna be in zfrp
Bree: meiling's wife is gonna kill xyra and wear her skin?

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Bree: "Black Clover - An exotic imports shop selling various knickknacks from far-flung countries, mostly Asian and African. Always smells like incense. Try the magic stones, which they like to call "Magic Stones", for a good luck charm!"
Bree: I hope you portray this store as being as hackneyed as the anime of the same name
Bree: because hina's shop does sell incense and "magic stones" also
Gooper Blooper: in that case it will be such a bad store you have no idea
Bree: yay! XD
N Goat staring into the middle distance
RubyChao: think of it this way, sheep
RubyChao: it could be worse
RubyChao: it could be
RubyChao: Store Art Online

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Jumpropeman: aww sugar
Jumpropeman: post lost
Jumpropeman: clicked that very helpful print view option no one would ever use
N Goat: Has everyone been cursed tonight?!
Gooper Blooper: gotta print my RP
N Goat: I'm going to print out my next post and mail it to you guys, okay?
Gooper Blooper: it'll take a national park's worth of trees and enough ink to drain every squidkid in Inkopolis but we'll make it happen

Chatzy Madness Volume 335: Cowboy Carrots With Gray Cowboy Hat And Gray Cowboy Bandana

Jumpropeman: to get into the Easter spirit, I've naturally been watching tons of horror related content on the Nightmare Expo youtube channel
Jumpropeman: apparently
Jumpropeman: someone threw a crab at Hungrybox for winning at a Smash Melee competition recently
ivel: wat
Jumpropeman: a real crab too
Jumpropeman: dead at least
ivel: guess they were feeling crabby

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Jumpropeman: now this
Jumpropeman: is my kind of horror
M Sheep: Jrm, why
M Sheep: and now I've learned that this guy tried to pitch a show of this to adult swim.
M Sheep lies down
Jumpropeman: It sure is a great club sheep
Jumpropeman: I can get into this right here :)
M Sheep: Some of the elements going on here I do actually really like and think one could mine a lot creatively from it.
M Sheep: Other elements
M Sheep: Oi
Jumpropeman: i like this video just for its oddity, but the others didnt really capture me because its often a mishmash
M Sheep: From what little I've looked at, that one was the better viewing experi-
M Sheep: hold everything
M Sheep: this
M Sheep: madman
M Sheep: looking at some thing for adult swim he put together and there's a section in here where he sampled the song from Fun In Balloonland
M Sheep is having a very surreal experience at the moment
M Sheep: THIS
M Sheep: But maybe don't watch more than thirty seconds, for the sake of sanity.
Jumpropeman: >rated 1.2/10 on IMDB
Jumpropeman: ah, so this is another one of your treasures, is it
M Sheep: It's an odd one. Part footage of a parade with voiceover by a woman who may be very, very deep in her cups, part kind of home movie-esque where a kid and some other kids talk to balloon peo-
M Sheep: There's nothing I can say, no way to frame this movie where it sounds like a sane or enjoyable movie experience.
M Sheep: When Rifftrax did Rollergator, they equated it with Fun In Balloonland
Jumpropeman: wow
M Sheep: Having seen both, I would actually state on the record that Rollergator is the marginally more entertaining experience because, at the very least, while you can't follow what's happening because there is no script and all the dialogue is drowned out by an endlessly looping banjo track, there's always stuff happening onscreen. Fun In Balloonland takes its time to do anything.
M Sheep: NOW HERE'S SOME CONTENT WITH REAL TASTE
Jumpropeman: I really want to watch Rollergator now
M Sheep: The whole thing used to be up on Youtube, but no longer.
M Sheep: You might have to go to Rifftrax and purchase a vod.
M Sheep: Only other thing I can immediately think of is look at the online Pluto Tv's Rifftrax channel schedule and see if it's in rotation.
Jumpropeman: surely someone is selling the real deal
Jumpropeman: like a dvd with a printout cover or something
M Sheep: Amazingly, there's a single copy you could buy off the Walmart website for like fifty bucks if that tickles your fancy.
M Sheep: I have no idea how that's a thing
Jumpropeman: you know
Jumpropeman: I don't think
Jumpropeman: it is
Jumpropeman: tickling my fancy
M Sheep: There are a lot of places trying to sell this garbage for over forty dollars.
Jumpropeman: Rare, untouched Rollergator, mint condition
M Sheep: Cheapest for a physical copy turns out is 24.95 on Amazon. Cheapest overall is 9.99 digital video on Rifftrax; no idea if you can turn their commentary off.
Jumpropeman: i probably wouldn't mind the commentary
M Sheep: Honestly.
M Sheep: You might as well be able to hear something other than banjos.
M Sheep: To be unnecessarily fair, you do strain to hear things from the beginning but the banjo doesn't become an omnipresent companion until at least a few scenes in.
M Sheep: Chatzy Madness 911: Sheep's Been Talkin' 'bout That Rollergator Again
Jumpropeman: a day without rollergator is... well, that's hardly a day at all!

A New Era Dawns

"Good Evening. This is Slow Weather Jamz, your source for 24/7 weather coverage in, on, and around Olympia. Stay with us, and stay informed.

Here's your weather forecast for Tuesday, April 16."

All across Olympia, restaurants and homes and vehicles alike heard the sounds of the local forecast begin on their TVs and radios. It may be above the clouds, but there was still plenty to talk about regarding Olympia's weather. Temperature and wind speed, for starters, not to mention the city was subject to artificial rain at certain preplanned times to keep the decorative plants watered and to make the city feel a little more 'natural'. Of course, nothing about Olympia was natural. This city was schemed up in a board meeting years ago, and built from the ground up to one day be a flying spectacle. At last, that day had come.

But was the world ready for this? Had Olympia's time come too soon? Or was it time for the people of Earth to step forward into a bold new age of interplanetary alliances?