Chatzy Madness Volume 328: I Say Lego Hitler And The Boys Come Running

derp: help, i can't get kazoos out of my head
derp: but i got a wrapup done
derp: fifty million more to go
derp: ...just need to make 'em short and sweet, unlike this one :U
ivel: I'll help, Harpy
ivel: this helps right
derp: no
ivel: you didn't even watch :I
derp: jiopdffjkp
derp: the urge to livereact is real
ivel: do it
derp: IVEL YOU BASTARD
derp: "don't run, jump, or dance while playing the kazoo"
derp: bitch you can't tell me what to do
derp: YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD
derp: "YEOW- oh hai :)'
derp: um
derp: ?!??
derp: "Waita minute. who ARE YOU"
derp: me after seeing all these fuckin new chars in ZFRP
Draco: I had a traumatic experience today though. While I was out shopping, one of the stores I was in played a "Cars for Kids" radio ad. D:
derp: klfjdfjhfg
Gooper Blooper: an old foe returns
derp: I MUST KEEP WATCHING THIS VIDEO SO I CAN PURGE THAT THOUGHT FROM MY MIND
derp: extreme kazooing
derp: THIS GUY IS VERY EXCITED ABOUT FRIENDS AND FUN AND SPECIAL FRIENDS
derp: AND UH
derp: I AM MILDLY CONCERNED
derp: "I LIKE TO PRETEND"
derp: yeah bud me too
derp: i just pretended an hour ago
derp: i am being kazooed in my general direction
derp: what even is my life right now
derp: i'm more than just afraid now
derp: pleasetakethispretendspiritawwayfromme
derp: i'm not yer pardner
derp: PAL
derp: >:U
Draco: Okay.
derp: "you're my special friend"
derp: skldjglkdfgjlkfdjgldf
derp: BUTWHYTHO
derp: i should not be reacting like this to a freakin 3 minute video
derp: should be specially reserved for kaijus
ivel: no, you shouldn't
ivel: you should react like this to a 30 minute one.
derp: ivel made me break taboo and you'll make me-
derp: no
Draco: Anywho, I'll see y'all later. ^_^
derp: nooo draco come baaaaa-
derp: YOU'RE MY SPECIAL FRIEND
derp: ivel
derp: i will not lie
derp: this is something a younger me would have unironically enjoyed
derp: unfortunately i'm an adult and have some measure of self-awareness and i'm suffering a bad case of embarassment
derp: 100% cheese
derp: plot twist: i kinda liked the last song.
derp: kill me now
ivel: I'm still not sure if this is cheese or haunted video
derp: i mean
ivel: I think the latter though :U
derp: you could watch the 30 minute video and find out!
ivel: or both
ivel: implying I'm not, dear
ivel: I'm 13 minutes in
derp: ivel in deep
ivel: to be fair, it could be a cheesy haunted video
derp: this video is going to haunt me forever
derp: speshul frand

---

Bree: crash bandicoot skill report: I fucking suck
Bree: turns out nostalgia doesn't help you play video games

Chatzy Madness Volume 327: Dolphin Paddler Edition

peter no: "Bonnie often wished he was a normal rabbit, instead of a six-foot tall, one ton robot that looked a bit like a rabbit. For a start, he wouldn't smell of weed and alcohol. He'd smell of the morning dew, and maybe rabbit poop sometimes. Sure, he'd risk myxomatosis or being eaten by a fox, but that horrible, prolonged death seemed preferable to another minute alongside Freddy Fazfuck."
peter no: A line from an abandoned blogpost I've got

---

Harpy: *tries to type np*
Harpy: *sends out a message saying "no" instead*
Harpy: i have ruined lives with these hands.

---

Moniter Sheep: Del, are you seriously telling me there's going to be another Bubsy game?
Moniter Sheep: What a time to be alive
Draco: That's, what, the fifth sign of the apocalypse?

---

Moniter Sheep: Fite:>Longtime fans of Fite Island might wonder what the island does between its bloody battles to the death,
Moniter Sheep: I, for one, assumed it was working on diversifying its portfolio.

---

Jumpropeman: >Dracula at the concert
Jumpropeman: this is it, the moment like 8 separate video games have prepared me for
Jumpropeman: I must kill Dracula once more
Draco: How many times must we teach you this lesson, old man?! D:< *beats up Dracula*

---

RubyChao: BETHESDA BUGS, 2003: sometimes this character walks funny
BETHESDA BUGS, 2007: these two guards are walking inside each other
BETHESDA BUGS, 2011: this dragon has clipped into whiterun castle and killed 15 plot-essential NPCs
BETHESDA BUGS, 2018: we fucking deleted the whole game

Chatzy Madness Volume 234: Bubsy Edition

RubyChao: guys
RubyChao: i found insomnia cookies nearby
RubyChao: "nearby" in this case is "twenty blocks away" but THAT'S CLOSE ENOUGH

---

Etrohus: [8:38:19 PM] Ivelchild: I knew Tony Hawk 5 was bad but
[8:38:21 PM] Ivelchild: "Some players found it crashing so hard they had to log out and create entirely new Xbox accounts"
[8:38:29 PM] Ivelchild: HOW DO YOU FAIL THAT BAD
[8:38:30 PM] HarpyKuro: dear god
[8:38:34 PM] HarpyKuro: what
iKomodo: WHAT
Etrohus: this game needs jesus
Etrohus: [8:39:52 PM] Ivelchild: "The day one update was 7.7 gigabytes. The entire install from the game disc was only 4.6 GB"
Etrohus: YES IT DOES NEED JESUS

---

Gooper Blooper: "God f***ing damnit this f***ing match. f*** Undertale and its fans. f*** Mass Effect 3 for not stopping this, and its dumb fanboys for not shutting up about X-stats. Melee should've had this, but now it's down by thousands for no f***ing reason."

(Yes, Undertale continued winning GameFAQs matches)

---

Draco: What kind of girl does Hussie like? Chubby librarians who own flying saucers? ;V
Etrohus: i doubt patchy would be much interested in a guy like etrohus
Draco: Too awesome?
Gooper Blooper: patchy's true love is books
Etrohus: ^
Etrohus: he may crush on her but she will be forever unattainable
Etrohus: ​jake marshall, on the other hand
Draco: Jake Marshall totally has a chance with Patchy?
Etrohus: etrohus may have a chance with jake marshall, if jake marshall were relevant in 2017 :U
RubyChao: >​marshall
RubyChao: >​2017
RubyChao: i got some bad news
Etrohus: i did say if
Draco: ​We all know Patchy's One True Love is Gloria with Librarian Glasses.
RubyChao: ​confirmed

Chatzy Madness Volume 233: Garden Croppa Carrot-Lagann

Gooper Blooper: So uh
Gooper Blooper: went shopping today, as mentioned
Gooper Blooper: I bought a bunch of food, and Goopsbro...
Gooper Blooper: Well, he, uh...
Deletons: Did you buy a skeleton
Jumpropeman: did you get Pikmin cards
Gooper Blooper: ​He bought a Wii U on impulse
Jumpropeman: wow
The Spykertaker: DAMN
Deletons: Oh woah
The Spykertaker: Wait, hold on
Pretty Demon Etrohus: ​looks like i'll have to add him :U
Gooper Blooper: Skeletons are hard to find in late november
The Spykertaker: DAMN
The Spykertaker: Thanks Ron
Deletons: Thats only slightly less good than a skeleton
Jumpropeman: ​just like I did way back :V​
Jumpropeman: 10/10 would impulse buy again
Gooper Blooper: He got the Smash/Splatoon bundle and also bought Mario Maker
iKomodo: Man, goopsbro
iKomodo: that's a hell of a buy
Pretty Demon Etrohus: i'm going to beat him up
Pretty Demon Etrohus: except not really
Pretty Demon Etrohus: PLAY ME IN SMASH, GOOPS

---

RubyChao: i saw The Martian today!
Pretty Demon Etrohus: how was it?
RubyChao: it had no biollante and no metal slug martians
RubyChao: 0/10, would not recommend

---

Pretty Demon Etrohus: apparently this is a very tense movie about potato salad

Chatzy Madness Volume 74: I Happen to Have Large Buns

Gooper Blooper joined the chat
Harpy: shingeki no goops
RedSpy: Goops x Bee
RedSpy: Goops x Bagel
RubyChao: why are you attacking gooper D:
Harpy: because he's trying to muscle in on my cookie empire

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Harpy: WHEELERS PLEASE STOP

---

RubyChao: "there is zero rotational motion in this picture. every single one of the dots is oscillating on a straight line"
SteelKomodo: Woah, that's freaky
SteelKomodo is hypnotised.

---

RubyChao: "My vitamins melted into one vitamin 0___o" "they’re called vitafusion what do you expect"

---

Gooper Blooper: i posted the link to the poll on Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga's facebook pages
also Cody Rhodes, Wal Mart, Nintendo of America/Canada/Australia​ etc
then i got a message saying i was under investigation for spamming ...
i think i just got facebook banned
Gooper Blooper: gamefaqs user please
Cornwind Evil: God, that just sticks out
SteelKomodo: XD
Cornwind Evil: Justin Bieber, Wal-Mart...and Cody Rhodes
Cornwind Evil: Not John Cena or Daniel Bryan or Triple H, Cody Rhodes
Gooper Blooper: IF ANY WRESTLER CAN TURN THIS MATCH AROUND IT'S CODY
Saberwulf: pfff
Saberwulf: They are seriously hellbent on that poll
Cornwind Evil: WITH HIS MARVELOUS MOUSTACHE

Chatzy Madness Volume 70: Courage the Cowardly White Mage

Chatsephine joined the chat
Chatsephine: <3
Chatsephine left the chat

---

Saberwulf: Going to Comic-Con has a 95% chance of happening
Saberwulf: I am very excited because of this
Saberwulf: You can see the excitement pouring from my text
The Deleter: it is palpable
The Deleter: also nice one, hope you have a good time and if you don't then punch an anime and make up for it
SteelKomodo: ey wulf, have a good time!
Saberwulf: Seriously though, excited as fuck. My friend just has to make sure her parents are okay with it and then we're totally good. Though she's adamant on paying for her ticket and bus fare and I'm just like you son of a bitch I'm gonna buy you something that costs like $200 to fuck with you
Saberwulf: ANGRILY GENEROUS
SteelKomodo: aw yiss
The Deleter: revengenerous
Saberwulf: The kindest Raiden
SteelKomodo: XD

Chatzy Madness Volume 69: Free Bags of Children

Harpy: anyway, i'm kind of scared of that whole giant group at Facility H, so I'm trying to find a more pacifistic way of handling it
Harpy: finally, Carlos does something else
Gooper Blooper: Don't worry Harpy
Gooper Blooper: I'm raising the stakes appropriately
Gooper Blooper: If they bring an army, so do we
Harpy: then I imagining Ariel lifting giant steaks
SteelKomodo: ...eeeek
Gooper Blooper: MIGHTY ARIEL
Gooper Blooper: Can Ariel lift a steak so big even Josephine cannot eat it
Harpy: Alex might be able to help a bit with that
Harpy: the army I mean, not the steak
Gooper Blooper: what, not both?

---

Cornwind Evil: It's time for more 'Weird Dreams With Cornwind'
SteelKomodo: oh boy D:
Cornwind Evil: In MMO's, you are given quests to do stuff
SteelKomodo: of course
Cornwind Evil: So I dreamed that real life had something where every year we were given quests
Cornwind Evil: And last year (in the dream) I did some quests for some weirdo I will call Mr. Centipede. That was not actually his name but it is what I will call him.
Harpy: if we were given quests every year, I would clearly do quests for Sir Pantsalot
Cornwind Evil: Anyway, the idea is since its a new year the quest givers will have new reQuests
Cornwind Evil: It is a world of quests
SteelKomodo: queeeeests
Cornwind Evil: But not The World Of Quest
SteelKomodo: Poor Quest :P
Cornwind Evil: Anyway, Mr. Centipede wants the EXACT SAME THINGS as last year
Cornwind Evil: Which I think was some apples and a bag of potatoes
SteelKomodo: ...what a jerk D:<
Cornwind Evil: Anyway it's one of those weird dreams where you alternate between observing/directing events and being in them
SteelKomodo: i've had those
Cornwind Evil: Anyway, once I get the things I go inside Mr. Centipede's house
Cornwind Evil: And basically it's a nightmare Wonderland
Cornwind Evil: And its weird.
Cornwind Evil: The thing that comes into my head is 'Jesus Christ I'm going to die.'
Cornwind Evil: Not in a 'Mr. Centipede is dangerous and wishes me harm' sense
Cornwind Evil: But in a 'Dear god I am doing favors for an alien or otherdimensional being who is trying to pretend to be human to blend in and getting WAY TOO MANY THINGS OFF AND WRONG' way
Cornwind Evil: 'And he is going to shoot me because he doesn't understand how things work or something'
Cornwind Evil: That's the part I really remember. That Mr. Centipede wasn't just incredibly weird, but something pretending to be human
SteelKomodo: eek D:
Cornwind Evil: It's probably from me interacting with M Sheep a lot
Cornwind Evil: He's fond of those sorts of things
SteelKomodo: I was gonna say this sounds very much like something Sheep would come up with :P
Cornwind Evil: This has been more 'Weird Dreams With Cornwind'
SteelKomodo: indeed it has
Harpy: welp

---

Harpy: holy shit that is a tiny elf
SteelKomodo: IT IS SO TINY

Chatzy Madness Volume 68: Did He Just Shit Out Savings

Spy OMac: http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mqs2ogpvaa1sxudx7o1_1375235729_cover.jpg
Gooper Blooper: I remember that. I think that's Sonic Heroes' manual
SteelKomodo: yes, it is
Gooper Blooper: eggman the feminist
Harpy: that sounds
Harpy: odd to see in the same sentence together
Harpy: does that mean he does activist work while he's busy not trying to take over the world?
Harpy: or does he want to take over the world so that women can finally have equal rights?
Gooper Blooper: hahaha, the VGCW wiki found the image and is using it to say that Eggman supports the WVGCW
Spy OMac: Eggman founded the Society
Gooper Blooper: The Practice breaks up because Wily's a chauvinist with only one female robot master
Spy OMac: And that was a DLN anyway

---

Harpy: [1:10:38 PM] Sir Gareth Ivelchild III: I need to somehow get a sound to play on my phone when it's done charging so I could edit said sound to change it to Medic saying "Fully charged!"
Gooper Blooper: HAHAHAHAHA
SteelKomodo: XD
Harpy: i hope he gets the cracklin uber sound with it
Gooper Blooper: phone lights up a bright blue
M Sheep: You get a phone call, and it just screams 'Medic! MEDIC!' over and over
M Sheep: and over
M Sheep: again
Harpy: [1:15:06 PM] Sir Gareth Ivelchild III: it could be Scout saying "Need a Dispenser here" with the sound of a frying pan constantly playing
[1:15:12 PM] Sir Gareth Ivelchild III: that would be the worse

Chatzy Madness Volume 67: Taylor Swift Chat

SteelKomodo: I thought CW would be asleep
SteelKomodo: but he's posting XD
GB Hazard: Cornwind never sleeps
GB Hazard: he's always watching
SteelKomodo: ...is he
SteelKomodo: GABEN?
GB Hazard: No way
GB Hazard: Cornwind would never have booked Red to fight Ganon
SteelKomodo: XD
GB Hazard: Instead it would be "You're fighting a main eventer! A current champion! One of the most beloved VGCW characters ever!"
GB Hazard: Red comes out
GB Hazard: TOO BAD, WALUIIIIGI TIME
RedSpy: PFFFFFFFFT

---

SteelKomodo: hmm, what to give...
SteelKomodo: what do I give to one of the Sarahkin, who can be said to have almost everything D:
Harpy: a book
RedSpy: Give her a tribble
Harpy: we are not reliving that, Spy
GB Hazard: spy pls
SteelKomodo: NO spy
SteelKomodo: go back into that corner

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RedSpy: Now we need Oceanus and Construct 8 to strike up a friendship, die in a fite, and get rebuilt as Construct O

Chatzy Madness Volume 63: Carla in the Bank

SteelKomodo: did you plan for CW to enter or somethin? Because I was going to, then I caught up with Chatzy and wasn't sure
RubyChao: oh well i didn't really plan for anyone in particular to enter to enter, but he apparently wants to
RubyChao: but i mean if you want to challenge that's a-ok in my book
SteelKomodo: I'll think about it
Harpy: rock paper scissors CW for it
Harpy: "i want my chars killed" "NO I WANNA GET MY CHARS KILLED"
SteelKomodo: XD

---

SteelKomodo: so I decided to download the old forums and unzip them
SteelKomodo: ahahahahaha it'll take forever
Gooper Blooper: Yes it will
Gooper Blooper: 8 GB of madness
SteelKomodo: I WANT TO GET OFF MR. GOOPS WILD UNPACKING D:

---

Gooper Blooper: ZF forums will live forever
Gooper Blooper: in our hard drives
Gooper Blooper: In addition, I also have them saved on a USB stick as well as on my hard drive and in the Dropbox cloud. I'M READY FOR ANYTHING
SteelKomodo: Dangerously Mad-Prepared

That Goddamn Sheep

Have you been wondering what that crazy sheep has been up to since Zoofights ended? (Because you just KNOW he's going to resurrect again)

Wonder no more!

Also, on GameFAQs, turns out Ramza went down without much of a fight. Bad Alex! BAD Alex! No Black Legend!

Rivalries Are Rumbling

A couple weeks ago GameFAQs latest tribute to Legend of Zelda popularity contest started up and... it's been very, very by the book. The hardcore guys on there who closely follow every contest are annoyed because there hasn't been a single upset or close match yet even though there have been over two dozen matches. I filled out a prediction form and I've only gotten one match wrong so far (thought DK would lose in Round 1 - underestimated the power of a decent rivalry).

Coming up tomorrow at noon New York Time is the third-to-last match of the first round, between Siegfried/Nightmare (Soul Calibur) and Ramza/Delita (Final Fantasy Tactics). Now I mentioned this before when I previously blogged about this contest, but it bears repeating because goddamn.

This character.

This character.

I could buy and play Final Fantasy Tactics, beat the shit out of it, rack up 500 hours of playtime, it wouldn't matter. I can never, ever associate this character with anything but You-Know-Who the You-Know-What, and if the storyline of the game sets him up with a love interest I'd just be like "no that's incorrect sir" and pair him with a generic You-Know-Who named You-Know-What. And I would pretend the sprite is several pixels shorter or something, I dunno. And the healing items are sweets instead of potions.

This warped mentality also applies to Air Man. I'd be expecting him to apologize profusely every time he successfully hit Mega Man. They are TAINTED BY RP FOREVERMORE.

Rivalry Rumble?!

Hide yo kids, hide yo wife, and hide yo husband because here comes video game website GameFAQs with another one of their popularity contests!

Since 2002, GameFAQs has run one or two of these things a year - winner-take-all popularity polls between brackets full of video game characters or games themselves. This year's event is the Rivalry Rumble - 64 teams of two characters, and each team is a "rivalry". Friendly and unfriendly rivalries alike are included.

The contest starts November 2, but until then people can go through the bracket and predict who they think will win each match. Best predictors win prizes, so if you've got a GameFAQs account, give it a whirl.

Here's some of the notable rivalries that will be competing!

Mario and Bowser: When it comes to hero/villain rivalries, this has always been a top one for me. In a lot of Mario games it's a pretty simple good guy/bad guy thing, but there's a notable exception: the Mario RPGs, especially the Paper Mario series (my favorite game series of all time, by the way). In Paper Mario and its sequels, Bowser is given a great deal of characterization, becoming a truly likable and well-rounded character in comparison to the one-dimensional endboss he was in the NES days. This is one rivalry I wouldn't mind seeing go all the way.

Kirby and Meta Knight: I think Kirby and King Dedede might have been the better choice for a straight-up "rivalry" (especially considering Brawl in the Family, heh), but this is still a strong pairing. Also, looking at previous GameFAQs character contests, Meta Knight is more popular than Dedede, helping to boost the tag-team's strength. Their bracket placement is interesting - they could go out in round 1 to the Resident Evil tag-team of Jill Valentine and Nemesis, or they could make it all the way to Mario and Bowser. I'm predicting they'll pass one round but not two.

Sonic the Hedgehog and Dr. Robotnik: One of the ultimate rivalries in video gaming, at least back in the 90s when Sonic was beloved. Some people on GameFAQs were wishing that Sonic had paired up with Knuckles or Mario instead. I think this is a good rivalry, though, and unless Kirby does something amazing he's on a crash course to face Mario in the Sweet 16.

Sub-Zero and Scorpion: Niiiice! Here's a rivalry that treats both characters as roughly equals. Both sides have fans and both can be seen as the "good guy" depending on how you look at it. I've always loved the Mortal Kombat ninjas. I've predicted for them to win twice, although they could possibly go even farther if they really apply some REAL ULTIMATE POWER.

Pokemon Trainer Red and Pokemon Trainer Blue: If there was any justice, this pairing would win the contest, or at least make the finals. When you think "video game rivalry", you probably think Pokemon Red and Blue. "Gary" is in your face the whole game, battling you a total of eight times with a team that goes from nothing to a squad of six juggernauts, just like you. And at the end of the game, you defeat Lance and you think it's all over, but no - BLUE GOT THERE FIRST. The "Champion after Elite Four" thing is so obvious nowadays that newer Pokemon games don't even pretend it's a surprise, but back in the day this probably caught some folks off guard. Any way you slice it, this was an awesome rivalry, and I hope it does well.

Link and Ganondorf: The smart money on winning the whole shebang is on these guys. If you're not familiar with GameFAQs contests, here's a quick tip: Link is revered like a god. He has won more contests than every other character combined. Last year they held a bonus poll on Christmas Eve - Link vs. Santa. Link won. He beat Santa on Christmas Eve. Gah. And Ganondorf, while nowhere near as popular, has done well for himself in the past. I have pegged these two to win, even though it's a pretty dull rivalry and I never saw what was so great about the Zelda series.

Phoenix Wright and Miles Edgeworth: I take back the Red/Blue thing, this is the best rivalry in gaming. The Ace Attorney series is one of my favorites, and the superb writing and character development makes these two some of the most lovable and fascinating characters around even if you don't ship them with each other as some are wont to do. They even snagged a 1-seed! However, I doubt they'll win their division, let alone the contest. I selected for them to win a single match, but I hope they can win more.

Ramza and Delita: I've never played Final Fantasy Tactics and I don't know who Delita is but I'm backing this pairing anyway because ALEEEEEEX. I hope the idiot hair is visible in the match picture :3

BJ Blazkowicz and Adolf Hitler: Thank you, Wolfenstein 3D. This contest is the first GameFAQs contest to allow "historical characters" in addition to the usual "must have originated in a video game" characters. This gave us three entrants we wouldn't have otherwise: Zeus (paired with Kratos from God of War), Dracula (paired with Alucard from Castlevania), and... Adolf Hitler, who was brought in pretty much just for the sheer novelty of having Adolf Hitler on GameFAQs' front page with an option to vote for him. Will people vote for Hitler? His opponents are Sora and Riku of Kingdom Hearts fame, so I'm doubting it...

I may pick out a few more rivalries to talk about another time.