Chatzy Madness Volume 307: Suffer, Small Nerd

MobileDrac: Pretty sure my wrap up will be "Zeldoten steals Rifa's bouquet and eats it."

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ivel: I'll try to play Neverwinter Nights in the offtime to see what Deekin can do again
ivel: there is one thing I didn't get to show off~
Draco: His chainsawchucks?
ivel: well now that you ruined it, no :I
Draco: ^n^

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RubyChao: i'm finally awake again which is nice

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Cornwind Evil: Okay JRM
Jumpropeman: yo
Cornwind Evil: Do you know what you have made me do?
Cornwind Evil: All your biggening, all your madness?
Cornwind Evil: For the first time, in my life...I have bought a Dr. Pepper
MobileDrac: WHAT
Jumpropeman: yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Cornwind Evil: JUST TO SEE WHAT YOUR CRAZINESS IS ALL ABOUT
Cornwind Evil: And it is sitting right next to me ready to be opened
Cornwind Evil: You want proof? ONE SECOND
Jumpropeman: cornwind no
Jumpropeman: you don't need to mail me an envelope full of it
Jumpropeman: i believe you

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RubyChao: hi
SteelKomodo: sup
RubyChao: working on epilogues
RubyChao: someday i will run out of answers to "sup" and then what, sk
RubyChao: then what
SteelKomodo: then I'll think of something else to say :P

Chatzy Madness Volume 232: What Are These Blinking Lights

Deletons: So i just watched a mugen video
Deletons: Where it was robotnik from sonic 1
Deletons: In his drill car
Deletons: Ai control
Deletons: Survival mode
Deletons: 8 wins
Ivy Dragon: O_o
Deletons: They just could not deal with that determined crawl along the floor
Deletons: Finally, liu kang from mortal kombat 1 did a weird super that took off like 80% health, and then pinged robotnik with a fireball for the win
Deletons: He got the promotion
Ivy Dragon: Amazing.
Deletons: It was glorious
Ivy Dragon: I'm watching one like it right now. This is amazing.
Deletons: All those fancy ais cant deal with robotniks simple plan of attack
Ivy Dragon: Jill got wrekked
iKomodo: 2Robotnik4U
iKomodo: Liu Kang would indeed be worthy of PRRRRROMOTION
iKomodo: ...were he not dead right now :U
iKomodo: #RaidenDidNothingWrong

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Once and Future Vengeance: If I try to main a skinny Hutt next year, will there be general revolution?
Cornwind Evil: Isn't fat a sign of prestige among Hutts?
RubyChao: sarah becomes their leader
RubyChao: dohohohohoh
Once and Future Vengeance: Actually, yes.
Cornwind Evil: So you'd need a reason why this Hutt would want to be skinny
Cornwind Evil: The only real difference was that minor EU villain, whatshisface
Once and Future Vengeance: We learn this from a Hutt that is both anemic, albino, and has a metabolism disorder that almost keeps him as skinny as a human, in the EU novels. It's later restated several dozen times. :u
Once and Future Vengeance: However, I was thinking less ModernLukeTime hutts, and more Ancient Empire Wore Armor And Personally Fought Hutts. 8u
Gooper Blooper: ​alex in a slave leia outfit
Ivy Dragon: :O
Ivy Dragon will RP as Simon the Killer Ewok next year.
Comet Warwitch: why
Gooper Blooper: It's very old, barely-canon RP, but during the fourth Zoofights Jabba the Hutt was someone's RP character on Something Awful
Gooper Blooper: He was Gezora's pal and they ran the bar together
Cornwind Evil: This guy was explicitly said to be "all muscle and fire" instead of flabby fat like most Hutts
RubyChao: reminder that someone in ZFV played mother brain
RubyChao: I MURDERED SOMEONE ELSE'S RP CHARACTER
Gooper Blooper: and she had special one-eye shutter shades

Chatzy Madness Volume 166: Iiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeecccc​kkkkkkkkkghu

RubyChao: Pages in category "Five Nights at Freddy's"
The following 14 pages are in this category, out of 14 total.
RubyChao: is it worth even looking at these pastas
RubyChao: probably not
RubyChao: "After that, I went to Pirate Cove. But, when I saw Pirate Cove, the "Out of Order" sign was replaced by: 'Digger'. I saw Foxy on the ground. He was lying in a puddle of blood. I also saw a message on the curtain saying this: 'Digger is after you.' I got really creeped out. Then, I saw the time. It was...666 A.M.?? It only went to 5 A.M."
Tableter: Wow
Bree: yes, that's the first thing I'd think if I saw it was "666 A.M."
Tableter: Fucking terrible
Bree: it only goes until 5!
Bree: not "THAT'S NOT EVEN A REAL TIME"
SteelKomodo changed name to Patman Post
Patman Post: TERRIBLE
Patman Post changed name to SteelKomodo
RubyChao: "When the head director brought all the animators to view the episode, he told the one animation group who were animating the last bits to bring the finalized version, but they did not respond. He went to their cubicles, and when he got there they were all dead with blood stains on the alleged tape. The hospital was called and they were sent to the emergency room as soon as possible but it was too late; they died of unknown causes. But we still had the tape so we decided to watch it in their honor and their hard work they put into it."
SteelKomodo: probably not the smartest move :U
Bree: nobody in any creepypasta ever does anything smart
SteelKomodo: tru that
RubyChao: "'DO NOT PLAY THIS VERSION OF EOSD, IT HAS BEEN KNOWN TO CAUSE EXTREME HARM. DELETE THIS FOLDER PERMANENTLY! DO NOT PLAY, THIS IS A SERIOUS MESSAGE.' After I reread the message in confusion, I simply tilt my head back and laughed, thinking to myself, the game isn't really that hard!"
SteelKomodo: spy.txt
RubyChao: "Then it cut to a normal episode of Foster's before the VCR exploded in sparks. Oddly enough, however, while the VCR was totally destroyed, the tape remained intact. I could show it to you, but I've locked it in an impenetrable safe."
RubyChao: did i ever show you guys
RubyChao: the Zelda CD-I creepypasta
RubyChao: "The next scene was the "Condemned" board. But instead, it was written 'YOU ARE Condemned', there were claws marks and lots of blood around the bricks and over the soil. Mario comes up, faceless, with white and black clothes, holding his bread box, which was blank."

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RubyChao: the worst kind of vidya loss
RubyChao: is the one that's your own fault
Gooper Blooper: aw

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RubyChao: one of the truest posts i ever saw on tumblr was "Pokemon that break free after three shakes are why I have trust issues"

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RubyChao: *skims through 3DS*
RubyChao: *Rusty's Real Deal Baseball has shown up*
RubyChao: :I
Gooper Blooper: HE TOLD OKUU HE WOULD BE BACK

thank

"So! *clap* What's everyone thankful for this year?"

"Why, my lovely wife, of course."

"Dirky~"

"Jo-Jo~"

"Stretch pants. Oof."

"...I might as well chip in with the required 'family'."

"I'm thankful for everybody!"

"Wonderful! And yes, I agree, Ariel. It's always important to remember family. Where would we be without each other?"

"Not filled with Ireland's entire stock of potatoes?"

"No, silly! Well, that too. Hope everyone has room for dessert!"

"Fuck."

"Oh boy!"

"BECAUSE THE DESSERT WAS A LOAF OF-

...

CELESTIA, THE DESSERT IS PIE."

"It's always pie!"

"YOU HAVE RUINED THIS UNIT'S JOKE. HOW COULD YOU."

"Skeiron, you can't even eat. Why are you here?"

"THIS UNIT IS THANKFUL."

Skeiron bowed his body, accidentally smacking the table in the process. "THANK."

"...Well, he's trying!"

Thanksgiving 2013: The Day Celestia Intensified

Chatsephine joined the chat
Chatsephine: Glurrrrrrrg.
CleverMantis: Evening, sunshine. Whaddya thankful for?
Chatsephine: I'm thankful for antacid
CleverMantis: hahahahaha
Chatsephine: If you think Mom went all-out LAST year, that's nothing compared to the effort she put in now that the whole family is back together
Chatsephine: An endless sea of potatoes
Chatsephine: There's no way turkeys can naturally reach that size
CleverMantis: Sounds like a hell of a time. Too bad I couldn't be there.
CleverMantis: What's everyone else thankful for over there? I'm curious.
Chatsephine: Gloria's thankful she doesn't have any jeans in her wardrobe
Chatsephine: Ariel's thankful she's not a vegetarian
Chatsephine: Sarah's thankful for Alex again
Chatsephine: Mom is, of course, thankful for our family's good health. Dad is thankful for all of us.
Chatsephine: This is a wild shot in the dark, but I think Skeiron's thankful for loaves of bread.
CleverMantis: Are you thankful for Dirk? Eh?
CleverMantis nudges Josephine across the Internet
CleverMantis: Eh?
CleverMantis: Eh?
Chatsephine: Yes, yes, I'm grateful for dirky okay
CleverMantis: >dirky
Chatsephine: YES I KNOW
CleverMantis: hahahahahaha
CleverMantis: I love it.

Chatzy Madness Volume 28: The Rolan Jesus

GB: So our FOUR MIGHTY HEROES are now on Floor 90 of the third bonus tower
SteelKomodo: woot!
GB: You may remember that the eightieth floor of every tower has a dragon miniboss
GB: The first tower had Bahamut, the second had Ice Dragon
GB: The third tower's dragon is just called Dragon
SteelKomodo: boo-ring
GB: I'm like "Really?"
GB: He died in three turns
Toothpaste: Its name was actually Draven
SteelKomodo: XD
GB: Taking six meteors to the face is hazardous to your health
Toothpaste: It didn't die. It just let you win
GB: (thanks pit)
SteelKomodo: (woot!)

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GB: I just realized something
GB: When Paper Mario TTYD first came out I was amazed by the Bowser sidescrolling segments
GB: I thought "they should do a whole game like this"
GB: THEY DID
SteelKomodo: IT WAS CALLED SUPER PAPER MARIO
SteelKomodo: =D
Harpy: ahahah
Harpy: yes

Thanksephine

 "Can you picture it, sis? Just close your eyes and imagine it."
"Sarah, please-"
"A feast for the eyes, nose, AND mouth! Mom's world-famous Thanksgiving dinner!"
"She's not world-famous."
"Not yet!"
"Sarah, can you please calm down, you're going to make me-"
"C'monnnn, sis! It's Thanksgiving! The one day of the year completely and totally devoted to food! Stop being a wet blanket and imagine with me!"
"Fiiiiiine."

Josephine sighed and closed her eyes.

"Can you smell it?"
"Smell what, exactly?"
"The turkey. Smell the turkey, sis."
"Sarah this is stupid-"
"Smell it!"

Josephine scrunched up her face, and old memories of their mom's Thanksgiving dinner began to resurface.

Every year, the whole family looked forward to Celestia's Thanksgiving meal. She always prepared top-quality meals no matter her resources, but on Thanksgiving she truly brought her A game. Celestia loved to cook for her family, and this was where it truly showed. Turkey roasted to perfection. Potatoes whipped into a heaping fluffy cloud. Homegrown vegetables. And, Sarah's favorite part of all, the pies.

Yes, pies. She'd come up with an idea for a family tradition: Every year, they would vote on what kind of pie would follow the meal. However, while Sarah and Josephine voted for chocolate pie, Gloria and their father supported pumpkin pie and Ariel wanted apple.

Most mothers would have them flip a coin or draw straws. Celestia instead made all three. And it had never mattered how much any of them had eaten - when those pies came out, there was no leaving the table until at least one slice from one pie had been conquered. Of course, Sarah's preferred method was nabbing a slice from each of the three pies, and Josephine had pulled off that stunt more than once in her childhood.

It had been so long, it felt like. For obvious reasons, the tradition came to an end when Celestia left to provide for her family under Tiamat. And while Celestia had considered bringing it back last year, she had ultimately felt too much heartbreak at the thought of a Thanksgiving dinner without her husband at the table. But this year would be different. It was Sarah who'd floated the idea to her mother in private during a quiet night at the hospital. Celestia, newly empowered by the fall of Garland, had agreed almost immediately, and the other girls eagerly signed on, ready to experience a down-home holiday tradition they'd been unable to celebrate for a full decade.

And so it would all come back. The turkey, the potatoes, the side dishes, the pies. The hot, sweet, steaming pies. The pies filled with rich, indulgent filling made with love...

"Josephine?"
"...Chocolate fudge with chocolate chip cookie crust..."
"Josephine!"
"GAH!"
"So it worked! You imagined it!"
"Yeah, I sure did, and thanks to you I'm starving! And I just got up an hour ago, too!"
"Don't worry, we can watch the parade to pass the time!"
"But I was gonna shop for- Ugh, I can't go shopping now, I'll wind up buying a bunch of food."
"Oh well! Don't worry, you can shop later!"
Sarah plopped down on her couch, patting the seat next to her. "Hurry, it's gonna be on soon!"
"...Sarah."
"Mmyes?"
"Did you seriously do this just because you wanted someone to watch the parade with you?"
"No! That's ridiculous!"
Sarah hopped back up and gave Josephine a hug.
"I did it because I wanted you to watch it with me."

Josephine blinked.

And returned the hug.

Happy Thanksgiving

I have had the mental image of Alex doing the same "giddy glee" pose Sarah uses for a long time now, and I've finally capitalized. Anyway!

Thanksgiving, befitting its place on the calendar, has always been the awkward middle child of the three big holidays the end of the year brings. Halloween stands out by virtue of being so different. Christmas overshadows everything else. Thanksgiving kind of gets lost in the shuffle, but nonetheless I have some memories of it.

The number one Thanksgiving memory for me is the yearly agony of having to wait so long for Thanksgiving dinner. It took longer to prepare - far longer - than a normal dinner, and of course we couldn't ruin our appetites with snacks. The result was having to wait several hours longer than usual for a meal - but at least the uniqueness of it made it all worthwhile.

Closely following this is, of course, the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. I didn't know why Thanksgiving managed to stand alongside the Fourth of July as one of only two major holidays so closely associated with parades, but I didn't mind. When it came to watching the show, I cared about one thing and one thing only - the floats. Huge inflatable representations of my favorite cartoon characters, larger than life, right there on TV. The floats with costumed characters and crazy productions were cool, too. I was mesmerized, and whenever they cut away to one of the concert numbers or other non-float things, I got annoyed. The one float I always looked forward to the most was the Garfield float.

Truly a thing of beauty. I remember the year they retired this float. I watched the parade, desperately awaiting the arrival of one of my beloved childhood icons, and he never showed up. I was very upset. And also like seven years old, you gotta understand. Fortunately they replaced him with a new float, but I preferred the old one because the new one stood upright, and the bipedal characters were always tilted way forward. Old Garfield was right-way-up. He knew the score. 

Aside from the parades and some foggy memories of visits to the houses of various uncles, I have few memories of Thanksgiving. However, I do associate the cartoon A Pup Named Scooby-Doo with Thanksgiving, and I'm pretty sure that's because Cartoon Network held a marathon of it one year on turkey day and I flipped back and forth between it and the parade. I associate Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends with the Fourth of July and The Twilight Zone with New Year's Day for the same reason.

Batten down the hatches - two days from now the Christmas juggernaut steps up its game. We got our first major snowfall of the year this morning, so I'm in the right frame of mind. Christmas music, here I come!