M Sheep: "Sarah is short. We all know this".
M Sheep: Thank you for the reminder, narration
---
Jumpropeman: *tries to disable automatic updates on Raven's Cry*
Jumpropeman: the only options are "Always keep this game up to date", "only update when I launch this game" and "High priority- always auto-update this game before others"
Jumpropeman: they REALLY don't want you to have to suffer unpatched Raven's Cry
EclipseChao: but
EclipseChao: but be brave guy ;_;
---
EclipseChao: GB: Oh, JRM's gone for good I think
EclipseChao: a thousand keks
EclipseChao: (reminder that the end of 2012 was the deadliest bullet that we somehow dodged)
EclipseChao: okuu no
iKomodo: Pit: WHERE DID YOU LEARN THAT LANGUAGE >:I
iKomodo: SteelKomodo: what a shallow, materialistic fucking jackass
iKomodo: You'll never guess whom I said this about
EclipseChao: yourself?
EclipseChao: dirk?
EclipseChao: JRM?
EclipseChao: the major?
iKomodo: Nope
iKomodo: Rabbit from Winnie the Pooh
EclipseChao: wow, whadda choice
iKomodo: I was watching the Winnie the Pooh thanksgiving special at the time
iKomodo: and it occurred to me just how much of a jackass this one character is when I saw how he condescends to everybody and never learns from his mistakes
iKomodo: like, fuck that guy
---
EclipseChao: "Although the No Limit Soldiers were packaged as a face stable, they failed to connect with the mostly Southern WCW audience. In Master P's first and only appearance on WCW Television, (against the suggestion of the bookers and other wrestlers) he bullied heel wrestler Curt Hennig by rejecting a present he gave to Silkk The Shocker (a custom made cowboy hat) and then assaulting him with a birthday cake. This was perceived as a heel action by the fans and produced a lack of reaction due to confusion because Hennig was a hated heel, but being bullied by a group of people promoted as faces."
Bree: "assaulting him with a birthday cake"
Bree: what even
Bree: how even
Bree: honestly that sounds awesome
iKomodo: I keep thinking of classic Sooty or Chuckle Brothers when I read that
iKomodo: y'know, the old custard pie in the face routine
(later)
A Bit Less Blind: I see Chao is examining WCW stupidity again
A Bit
Less Blind: Yes, the No Limit Soldiers vs the West Texas Rednecks are
one of the biggest tone deaf moments, though they have competition for
like 40 other moments
EclipseChao: i still reread Why WCW Went Out Of Business when i'm on the train sometimes
EclipseChao: it makes for very entertaining reading material
---
Harpy: at this bookstore
Harpy: i got an old cookbook for 3.50
Gooper Blooper: neat
Harpy: 204 recipes to make in 30 minutes
Harpy: ...no, you don't make all of them at once
Harpy: unless you're celestia
Showing posts with label Spambots. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Spambots. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 19, 2016
Friday, May 16, 2014
Chatzy Madness Volume 130: More Like Lame Fuel
Bree: so what exactly is the BBB
Mario Tractor Baseball: The Triple B: all characters enter, one character leaves
Harpy: basically its where we sacrifice our characters to Jumpropeman and vote on the ones that have the highest chance of survival
Harpy: its also the contest that CW claims he will win every year, then loses
Mario Tractor Baseball: Last
Mario Tractor Baseball: Freaking
Mario Tractor Baseball: Place
Harpy: he has the most amount of votes last year, then he lost to a bard distracting his character with french anthems
Bree: that's amazing
Cornwind Evil: THIS YEAR WILL BE DIFFERENT
Harpy: good freakin luck CW
Harpy: even all the luck in the world won't save you
Harpy: FROM LAST PLACE
Harpy: OHOHOHOHO
Mario Tractor Baseball: Skurvy with a sea shanty version of France
Cornwind Evil: THIS. YEAR. WILL. BE. DIFFERENT.
Bree: I'm torn. part of me wants CW to win the BBB this year just to see the sheer all-consuming JOY on CW's face
Bree: part of me wants to win the BBB so I can laugh at him
Cornwind Evil: I'm well aware of the odds.
Bree: FOREVER
Cornwind Evil: Oh god
Cornwind Evil: I would NEVER live that down
Draco: He used all his luck on Daniel Bryan at Wrestlemania.
---
Del MK 2.0: meanwhile, on marvel heroes
Del MK 2.0: i punched kingpin until he fell over
Draco: And then New York fell into the sea during the ensuing earthquake.
Del MK 2.0: he's fat you see
Draco: Yes.
Del MK 2.0: ANYWAY
---
Bree: I hope you are nauseated and/or delighted by the Commander's very creative rant at the end
Bree: some of those are literally pulled from Shakespeare
Gooper Blooper: beautiful
Del MK 2.0: bree's posts are worth the wait
Del MK 2.0: (gaben)
Bree: fact: my favorite is "sheep-biting" because oh my god, that mental image
Bree: "spoon-faced" is a close second
M Sheep joined the chat
Gooper Blooper: that fucking timing
M Sheep: I have been summoned
---
Bree: BLAUGH
Bree: think I swallowed a fly just now
Draco: You shouldn't eat flies without ranch.
Bree: bastard was taking a swim in my mountain dew
Bree: get out of my mountain dew
Bree: it's fucking diet anyway, nobody likes that shit but me
Gooper Blooper: Game Fuel
Draco: More like Lame Fuel. Diet Dew won't give you that get-up-and-go like regular Dew will.
Gooper Blooper: do the doo
Draco: More like do the poo. Diet Dew doesn't have that crisp refreshing taste that makes Mt. Dew a national treasure in the Republic of Jerry's Backyard.
---
SteelKomodo: right now in SR4 - Carol is running around naked through the streets of Steelport
SteelKomodo: wielding a giant hentai tentacle as a weapon
RubyChao: carol no D:
Mario Tractor Baseball: The Triple B: all characters enter, one character leaves
Harpy: basically its where we sacrifice our characters to Jumpropeman and vote on the ones that have the highest chance of survival
Harpy: its also the contest that CW claims he will win every year, then loses
Mario Tractor Baseball: Last
Mario Tractor Baseball: Freaking
Mario Tractor Baseball: Place
Harpy: he has the most amount of votes last year, then he lost to a bard distracting his character with french anthems
Bree: that's amazing
Cornwind Evil: THIS YEAR WILL BE DIFFERENT
Harpy: good freakin luck CW
Harpy: even all the luck in the world won't save you
Harpy: FROM LAST PLACE
Harpy: OHOHOHOHO
Mario Tractor Baseball: Skurvy with a sea shanty version of France
Cornwind Evil: THIS. YEAR. WILL. BE. DIFFERENT.
Bree: I'm torn. part of me wants CW to win the BBB this year just to see the sheer all-consuming JOY on CW's face
Bree: part of me wants to win the BBB so I can laugh at him
Cornwind Evil: I'm well aware of the odds.
Bree: FOREVER
Cornwind Evil: Oh god
Cornwind Evil: I would NEVER live that down
Draco: He used all his luck on Daniel Bryan at Wrestlemania.
---
Del MK 2.0: meanwhile, on marvel heroes
Del MK 2.0: i punched kingpin until he fell over
Draco: And then New York fell into the sea during the ensuing earthquake.
Del MK 2.0: he's fat you see
Draco: Yes.
Del MK 2.0: ANYWAY
---
Bree: I hope you are nauseated and/or delighted by the Commander's very creative rant at the end
Bree: some of those are literally pulled from Shakespeare
Gooper Blooper: beautiful
Del MK 2.0: bree's posts are worth the wait
Del MK 2.0: (gaben)
Bree: fact: my favorite is "sheep-biting" because oh my god, that mental image
Bree: "spoon-faced" is a close second
M Sheep joined the chat
Gooper Blooper: that fucking timing
M Sheep: I have been summoned
---
Bree: BLAUGH
Bree: think I swallowed a fly just now
Draco: You shouldn't eat flies without ranch.
Bree: bastard was taking a swim in my mountain dew
Bree: get out of my mountain dew
Bree: it's fucking diet anyway, nobody likes that shit but me
Gooper Blooper: Game Fuel
Draco: More like Lame Fuel. Diet Dew won't give you that get-up-and-go like regular Dew will.
Gooper Blooper: do the doo
Draco: More like do the poo. Diet Dew doesn't have that crisp refreshing taste that makes Mt. Dew a national treasure in the Republic of Jerry's Backyard.
---
SteelKomodo: right now in SR4 - Carol is running around naked through the streets of Steelport
SteelKomodo: wielding a giant hentai tentacle as a weapon
RubyChao: carol no D:
Saturday, April 19, 2014
Chatzy Madness Volume 124: I'm So Sorry, But I Lack A Dong
Jumpropeman: http://i.imgur.com/kVG60cH.jpg
---
Del: we've found a racist cave
Del: it won't let skeletons in
Del: or minotaurs
Saberwulf: Picket it
SteelKomodo: with picket signs
Saberwulf: Refuse to give up your seat on the river boat
Cornwind Evil: But it let in the girl with blonde hair and blue eyes
SteelKomodo: that is a ham-handed reference if ever I saw one, CW :U
Del: a racist lecherous cave
Cornwind Evil: It's actually because it was warded with time-based protection and the girl had time powers so the wards ignored her
Draco: It let in Sailor Moon? =D
---
RubyChao: ""I’m Gonna Be A Star" is the fan-derived title of the first song of the second episode of the second season of Donkey Kong Country. This musical number delves deep into many themes, such as how our culture perceives fame and fortune to be the definition of success. And yet, despite the fact that television exists in a world full of talking apes, the movie they star in is only ever screened to the actors themselves, which raises a good question: Just how would they become famous? On an island which only has less than 20 inhabitants DK, Cranky, and Diddy are already well known by everyone, including their mortal enemies. Perhaps this implies the existence of further worlds outside of Kongo Bongo in the Donkey Kong Country universe, but unfortunately the show failed to expand upon this lore before it was ultimately cancelled, leading to much speculation among the fans."
---
RubyChao: oh yes goops were you here when i mentioned what game the escape tourian/pirate mothership theme was remixed for
RubyChao: it was remixed into metroid prime 2 as the theme for when you're escaping dark aether after killing emperor ing (and fighting dark samus)
Gooper Blooper: gotta escape before it blows up brother
Gooper Blooper: the marks need that escape sequence
RubyChao: fun fact in that one samus actually sort-of causes it to blow up for a change
RubyChao: rather than just "well shit i didn't mean for zebes to go kaboom"
Gooper Blooper: things just happen to explode around samus
Gooper Blooper: In retrospect, maybe teaming her with Okuu wasn't such a great idea
SteelKomodo: Pfffft
RubyChao: there's a reason the space pirate ship in the Ridleyplot blew up
SteelKomodo: Okuu pls
RubyChao: spoiler alert: any pirate bases visited in 2014 have a ~99% chance of exploding post-plot
SteelKomodo: lel
Gooper Blooper: I'd be disappointed if they didn't!
RubyChao: an evil planet is located near ardea
RubyChao: the kobber solution is to send samus, reasoning that planets have a high chance of exploding when she visits them
Gooper Blooper: If Samus had been around in 2011 the Rafflesia fight may have gone very differently
---
Del: we've found a racist cave
Del: it won't let skeletons in
Del: or minotaurs
Saberwulf: Picket it
SteelKomodo: with picket signs
Saberwulf: Refuse to give up your seat on the river boat
Cornwind Evil: But it let in the girl with blonde hair and blue eyes
SteelKomodo: that is a ham-handed reference if ever I saw one, CW :U
Del: a racist lecherous cave
Cornwind Evil: It's actually because it was warded with time-based protection and the girl had time powers so the wards ignored her
Draco: It let in Sailor Moon? =D
---
RubyChao: ""I’m Gonna Be A Star" is the fan-derived title of the first song of the second episode of the second season of Donkey Kong Country. This musical number delves deep into many themes, such as how our culture perceives fame and fortune to be the definition of success. And yet, despite the fact that television exists in a world full of talking apes, the movie they star in is only ever screened to the actors themselves, which raises a good question: Just how would they become famous? On an island which only has less than 20 inhabitants DK, Cranky, and Diddy are already well known by everyone, including their mortal enemies. Perhaps this implies the existence of further worlds outside of Kongo Bongo in the Donkey Kong Country universe, but unfortunately the show failed to expand upon this lore before it was ultimately cancelled, leading to much speculation among the fans."
---
RubyChao: oh yes goops were you here when i mentioned what game the escape tourian/pirate mothership theme was remixed for
RubyChao: it was remixed into metroid prime 2 as the theme for when you're escaping dark aether after killing emperor ing (and fighting dark samus)
Gooper Blooper: gotta escape before it blows up brother
Gooper Blooper: the marks need that escape sequence
RubyChao: fun fact in that one samus actually sort-of causes it to blow up for a change
RubyChao: rather than just "well shit i didn't mean for zebes to go kaboom"
Gooper Blooper: things just happen to explode around samus
Gooper Blooper: In retrospect, maybe teaming her with Okuu wasn't such a great idea
SteelKomodo: Pfffft
RubyChao: there's a reason the space pirate ship in the Ridleyplot blew up
SteelKomodo: Okuu pls
RubyChao: spoiler alert: any pirate bases visited in 2014 have a ~99% chance of exploding post-plot
SteelKomodo: lel
Gooper Blooper: I'd be disappointed if they didn't!
RubyChao: an evil planet is located near ardea
RubyChao: the kobber solution is to send samus, reasoning that planets have a high chance of exploding when she visits them
Gooper Blooper: If Samus had been around in 2011 the Rafflesia fight may have gone very differently
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Catilyn, the Chatzy Enigma
Catilyn joined the chat
Catilyn: Hello
Catilyn: good night
SteelKomodo: Um, hello
Gooper Blooper: HERE COMES A NEW CHALLENGER
TheDeleter: uh
TheDeleter: hi
SteelKomodo: What
TheDeleter: caitlyn i told you, i quit playing league of legend weeks ago
TheDeleter: you can't take me back
Catilyn: Here
TheDeleter: i'm over you
TheDeleter: dota treats me right
SteelKomodo: XD
Catilyn: picture
TheDeleter: you probly won't get that
Catilyn: cool
TheDeleter: oh?
Catilyn: yeah
Cornwind Evil: And we're suddenly in Moonside in Earthbound
Catilyn: So much.
Gooper Blooper: We've had quite a few mysterious guests, but never one quite this incoherent
Draco: BOING
Catilyn: Hello
Gooper Blooper: ...You think it's a bot?
SteelKomodo: Mebbe
Catilyn: you take can
Catilyn: me too
Gooper Blooper: you can't get ye flask
Draco: Do you hate the Lannisters?
Catilyn: flushing mi
Draco: What level are you?
Catilyn: see Catilyn?
TheDeleter: where the hell is jumpropeman
Draco: Run Catilyn run
Catilyn: yes ?
Gooper Blooper: JRM does Fite Yer Mysterious Chat Guests
Catilyn: Not
TheDeleter: what do you want catilyn
Cornwind Evil: Wait, is this Rainbow Dash?
Catilyn: Hey
Draco: Is it the Batman?
Catilyn: no
TheDeleter: i think catilyn only responds to certain keywords
TheDeleter: like her name, and questions
Catilyn: Homework?
Gooper Blooper: She needs to join the forum and do automated RP
Catilyn: sister2?
Gooper Blooper: Would still somehow wind up in a pairing
TheDeleter: yeah okay, she's a bot
Draco: Catilyn, if you can understand us, say "Apple"
Catilyn: april and Chris ?
Gooper Blooper: > apple
Gooper Blooper: > april
Gooper Blooper: SO CLOSE
Catilyn: hey
Draco: HEY
TheDeleter: maybe she's a barret fan
Gooper Blooper: #HEY
TheDeleter: ~Hey
Cornwind Evil: INSURGENTS
Draco rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 19
Catilyn: OMG
Cornwind Evil: NOT A BIT NERVOUS
Draco: omg
Gooper Blooper: LITTLE BIT FURTHER TO GO
Catilyn: funny
Draco: FUNNY?
TheDeleter: well whoever coded her made her know acronyms
Draco: (I'm trying to speak its language.)
Catilyn: cats ?
Catilyn: Yes.
Draco: Cats! Good.
Catilyn: Puppy cute
Draco: And fuzzy.
Draco: (I think it likes you, Goops.)
TheDeleter: goops are you noting this down, we need to record this for science and history
Catilyn: I love you?
TheDeleter: woah shit
TheDeleter: goops you were right
TheDeleter: we've gotten to the shipping phase already
Catilyn: Lol
Cornwind Evil rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 6
Gooper Blooper: amazing
SteelKomodo: XD
Catilyn: lol
Draco: I think it wishes to breed.
Catilyn: youlolrof me
Gooper Blooper: this is gonna be one hell of a chatzy madness
SteelKomodo: Right, going to bed now
Gooper Blooper: goodnight SK
SteelKomodo: don't forget to vote on Monster Mash!
Draco: Madness? THIS...IS...CHATZY!
Draco rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 13
Gooper Blooper rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 1
Gooper Blooper: DERP
SteelKomodo: Night, all, stay cool!
SteelKomodo left the chat
Gooper Blooper: Caitlyn's gone too
TheDeleter: damn it i can't do anything without premium rooms and stuff
Gooper Blooper: came on to me and then left
Draco: Later, SK.
Draco: I'm sorry, Goops. There's other bots in the sea.
Gooper Blooper: ONLY FIFTY CENTS A DAY, DEL
Draco: Like Tramadol.
TheDeleter: okay, caitlyn must have either been a) an amazingly terrible bot or b) one of us doing an ARG thing with a dedication the like of which the world has never known
Gooper Blooper: M-maybe it's like when Sarah got cold feet and teleported away
Gooper Blooper: *forever alone*
TheDeleter: and none of us have the skillz or patience for b) so it must be a)
Draco: You're probably right.
Draco: Next time of Draco's Story: a wild village of Tapogres?! How can this be?!
Catilyn: Hello
Catilyn: good night
SteelKomodo: Um, hello
Gooper Blooper: HERE COMES A NEW CHALLENGER
TheDeleter: uh
TheDeleter: hi
SteelKomodo: What
TheDeleter: caitlyn i told you, i quit playing league of legend weeks ago
TheDeleter: you can't take me back
Catilyn: Here
TheDeleter: i'm over you
TheDeleter: dota treats me right
SteelKomodo: XD
Catilyn: picture
TheDeleter: you probly won't get that
Catilyn: cool
TheDeleter: oh?
Catilyn: yeah
Cornwind Evil: And we're suddenly in Moonside in Earthbound
Catilyn: So much.
Gooper Blooper: We've had quite a few mysterious guests, but never one quite this incoherent
Draco: BOING
Catilyn: Hello
Gooper Blooper: ...You think it's a bot?
SteelKomodo: Mebbe
Catilyn: you take can
Catilyn: me too
Gooper Blooper: you can't get ye flask
Draco: Do you hate the Lannisters?
Catilyn: flushing mi
Draco: What level are you?
Catilyn: see Catilyn?
TheDeleter: where the hell is jumpropeman
Draco: Run Catilyn run
Catilyn: yes ?
Gooper Blooper: JRM does Fite Yer Mysterious Chat Guests
Catilyn: Not
TheDeleter: what do you want catilyn
Cornwind Evil: Wait, is this Rainbow Dash?
Catilyn: Hey
Draco: Is it the Batman?
Catilyn: no
TheDeleter: i think catilyn only responds to certain keywords
TheDeleter: like her name, and questions
Catilyn: Homework?
Gooper Blooper: She needs to join the forum and do automated RP
Catilyn: sister2?
Gooper Blooper: Would still somehow wind up in a pairing
TheDeleter: yeah okay, she's a bot
Draco: Catilyn, if you can understand us, say "Apple"
Catilyn: april and Chris ?
Gooper Blooper: > apple
Gooper Blooper: > april
Gooper Blooper: SO CLOSE
Catilyn: hey
Draco: HEY
TheDeleter: maybe she's a barret fan
Gooper Blooper: #HEY
TheDeleter: ~Hey
Cornwind Evil: INSURGENTS
Draco rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 19
Catilyn: OMG
Cornwind Evil: NOT A BIT NERVOUS
Draco: omg
Gooper Blooper: LITTLE BIT FURTHER TO GO
Catilyn: funny
Draco: FUNNY?
TheDeleter: well whoever coded her made her know acronyms
Draco: (I'm trying to speak its language.)
Catilyn: cats ?
Catilyn: Yes.
Draco: Cats! Good.
Catilyn: Puppy cute
Draco: And fuzzy.
Draco: (I think it likes you, Goops.)
TheDeleter: goops are you noting this down, we need to record this for science and history
Catilyn: I love you?
TheDeleter: woah shit
TheDeleter: goops you were right
TheDeleter: we've gotten to the shipping phase already
Catilyn: Lol
Cornwind Evil rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 6
Gooper Blooper: amazing
SteelKomodo: XD
Catilyn: lol
Draco: I think it wishes to breed.
Catilyn: youlolrof me
Gooper Blooper: this is gonna be one hell of a chatzy madness
SteelKomodo: Right, going to bed now
Gooper Blooper: goodnight SK
SteelKomodo: don't forget to vote on Monster Mash!
Draco: Madness? THIS...IS...CHATZY!
Draco rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 13
Gooper Blooper rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 1
Gooper Blooper: DERP
SteelKomodo: Night, all, stay cool!
SteelKomodo left the chat
Gooper Blooper: Caitlyn's gone too
TheDeleter: damn it i can't do anything without premium rooms and stuff
Gooper Blooper: came on to me and then left
Draco: Later, SK.
Draco: I'm sorry, Goops. There's other bots in the sea.
Gooper Blooper: ONLY FIFTY CENTS A DAY, DEL
Draco: Like Tramadol.
TheDeleter: okay, caitlyn must have either been a) an amazingly terrible bot or b) one of us doing an ARG thing with a dedication the like of which the world has never known
Gooper Blooper: M-maybe it's like when Sarah got cold feet and teleported away
Gooper Blooper: *forever alone*
TheDeleter: and none of us have the skillz or patience for b) so it must be a)
Draco: You're probably right.
Draco: Next time of Draco's Story: a wild village of Tapogres?! How can this be?!
Friday, July 6, 2012
The Best of Zoofights Forum Spambots
I've got a few choice tapogre posts from last year saved on my computer that were deleted off the forum by Gravitas. Allow me to share.
First, here's an argument held in the topic where the infamous TRAMADOL made its first appearance.
Honk on Honk Bag: But what are TRAMADOL's abilities? How would it stack up against Ned Killy?
RedSpy: Nothing could stack up against Ned Killy. A giant, pissed off fish who does anything to win and has a whole arsenal of weapons? He earned his position of champion of Zoofights IV.
Gooper Blooper: Ned Killy is nowhere near as affordable or effective. Ned Killy no chance.
#TRAMADOL
Gezora: Gezora can't believe its found such a bargain. Gezora will pour TRAuMADOL Slammers all around!
Gentleman Draco: Ned Killy doesn't stand a chance against Traumadol. He's from Australia, right? Well, Australia is populated mostly by criminals and criminals are not to be trusted, therefore Zoofights would not give them access to the best surgineers for Ned Killy. Meanwhile, Traumadol is "U.S. Licensed" and thus has big money backing him up. His speed is also greatly superior to Ned Killy's! "Fast overnight shipping" versus...what? 20 km/h? 30? Traumadol has the speed and endurance to cross an entire continent in just a few hours! "Free prescription included" also means he's smarter; if he's giving out prescriptions, he must be a doctor, right? Finally, he's got Ned Killy beat in the stealth department. "Discreet unmarked packages" give him the ability to hide in plain sight; you wouldn't know you were looking at him until you were already dead.
#TRAMADOL all the way!
RedSpy: When I said Ned Killy would win, I forgot his latest upgrades.
He is now frontman of Ned Killy and the Kings of Beasts, his body replaced with that of a rockstar. What are rockstars known for doing?
POPPING PILLS
Ned Killy will seem to win the fight against our proud new contestant via consumption, only to overdose on Tramadol and die for it. It'll be like Steamcrab vs. Reanimamut or Drillz vs. Hyperpotamus, the victorious pill bottle bursting right through Ned Killy's now humanoid gut.
Tramadol is truly the future godbeast of Zoofights. It will make From Hell, Seanet, Elohim, and Gamma Constrictor wet their pants with terror. God help us if this . . . beast is ever released to the public.
First, here's an argument held in the topic where the infamous TRAMADOL made its first appearance.
Honk on Honk Bag: But what are TRAMADOL's abilities? How would it stack up against Ned Killy?
RedSpy: Nothing could stack up against Ned Killy. A giant, pissed off fish who does anything to win and has a whole arsenal of weapons? He earned his position of champion of Zoofights IV.
Gooper Blooper: Ned Killy is nowhere near as affordable or effective. Ned Killy no chance.
#TRAMADOL
Gezora: Gezora can't believe its found such a bargain. Gezora will pour TRAuMADOL Slammers all around!
Gentleman Draco: Ned Killy doesn't stand a chance against Traumadol. He's from Australia, right? Well, Australia is populated mostly by criminals and criminals are not to be trusted, therefore Zoofights would not give them access to the best surgineers for Ned Killy. Meanwhile, Traumadol is "U.S. Licensed" and thus has big money backing him up. His speed is also greatly superior to Ned Killy's! "Fast overnight shipping" versus...what? 20 km/h? 30? Traumadol has the speed and endurance to cross an entire continent in just a few hours! "Free prescription included" also means he's smarter; if he's giving out prescriptions, he must be a doctor, right? Finally, he's got Ned Killy beat in the stealth department. "Discreet unmarked packages" give him the ability to hide in plain sight; you wouldn't know you were looking at him until you were already dead.
#TRAMADOL all the way!
RedSpy: When I said Ned Killy would win, I forgot his latest upgrades.
He is now frontman of Ned Killy and the Kings of Beasts, his body replaced with that of a rockstar. What are rockstars known for doing?
POPPING PILLS
Ned Killy will seem to win the fight against our proud new contestant via consumption, only to overdose on Tramadol and die for it. It'll be like Steamcrab vs. Reanimamut or Drillz vs. Hyperpotamus, the victorious pill bottle bursting right through Ned Killy's now humanoid gut.
Tramadol is truly the future godbeast of Zoofights. It will make From Hell, Seanet, Elohim, and Gamma Constrictor wet their pants with terror. God help us if this . . . beast is ever released to the public.
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