Chatzy Madness Volume 414: King K Rool Country Returns

Gooper Blooper: So I've had my yearly game review blog in progress since summer, so I could write reviews when the vidya I beat were still fresh in my mind, and this has also helped to make the workload of reviewing dozens of games in one post a lot more manageable
RubyChao: nice nice, goops!
Gooper Blooper: but despite the fact that I didn't need this padding, unless JRM posts a review of it before April, I will beat him to the punch and put up a review of the vidya JRM has said is his "I need a review up and I have ten minutes" ace in the hole
RubyChao: G A S P
Gooper Blooper: Slot Machine for Atari 2600
Diadem: oh shit
Gooper Blooper: it's happening
Jumpropeman: hahaha
Jumpropeman: i expect an in depth explanation of every symbol on the machine
Gooper Blooper: JRM reaching as far as he can for a Disaster Report

---

Jumpropeman: if you were trapped on a dessert island, how long until you eat the whole island and drown
LadySeychelles: depends on what the island is made of I guess
Jumpropeman: i watched that pizza video I mentioned the other day
Jumpropeman: the best part was the guy figuring out if the fire emblem characters have eaten it
LadySeychelles: I expect a lot of digging into medivel history
Jumpropeman: because all Smash Bros. Fire Emblem character appears in Engage, but they're spirits so they can't eat the game's pizza. You can however eat the pizza independently, then save it as leftovers, then during a battle you can merge with that character's spirit and eat the leftovers
LadySeychelles: ...
LadySeychelles: Honestly wasn't expecting that
Red Birb Del: this is a lot of work to get marth to experience pizza
LadySeychelles: Does marth LIKE pizza?
Jumpropeman: i don't feel like he would.
Jumpropeman: he likes hard bread and a glass of room temperature water
LadySeychelles: ouch
LadySeychelles: low opinon of Marth I c
Jumpropeman: he seems pretty basic hero type
MobileDraco: Marth is Basic
Jumpropeman: smash bros is adding more spirits in an update next year, which means its gonna be time for me to 100% it again soon

---

Gooper Blooper: I reread some RP from early this season today and Lanterby's angry rant against Wanze hits different now that Chao's avatar makes me imagine Padoru Lanterby doing it
RubyChao: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA
RubyChao: utterly undermined.
Gooper Blooper: instead of punching him, she did the padoru spin and smacked him with the sack
Diadem: he got
Diadem: sacked
LadySeychelles makes a sad wa-wa noise

---

RubyChao: reminder
RubyChao: Purple Francis is dead...
Josey Joestar: Don’t remind me
Josey Joestar: My life is so much less purple without him
Josey Joestar: Although I have to ask
Josey Joestar: Is there a Non-Purple Francis
Jumpropeman: once you've gone purple, you never go back

Chatzy Madness Volume 395: Is That Enough Shrek, Though?

Cornwind Evil: Playing Lunar Dragon Song and playing Final Fantasy 7 is the difference between eating a box of cookies that expired two years ago that you plucked from the back of a convenience store's shelves and eating a piece of wedding cake frozen after the wedding
Jumpropeman: playing one jrpg so close to another really puts into perspective how deep the failures were in lunar dragon song

--- 

Jumpropeman: link
Draco: How did you know what Par Seas is working on?

---

Draco: Sumireko is in the mobile game as an enemy.
Jumpropeman: cute- I mean... uh, terrifying?
Draco: I'm scared.

---

Jumpropeman: i didn't notice the Wiki Trawls chatzy madness tag before
Jumpropeman: but I'm glad it exists in case I ever get nostalgic about that sexy as hell Ms. Fieldmouse
Harpy: that's how you're going to get a fieldmouse dream
Gooper Blooper: I came up with it a year or two ago and retroactively added it to Chatzy Madnesses with notable wiki quoting segments
Gooper Blooper: We've gotten some incredible riffing material from those things so I wanted a tag
Gooper Blooper: g e n t l e _ b e a r
Jumpropeman: "Ms. Fieldmouse is ostensibly kind, unbearably beautiful, very attractive, insanely sexy and caring"
Jumpropeman: i love that build up to end with "caring"
Harpy: insanely sexy
Gooper Blooper: insanely caring
RubyChao: fieldmouse for rp
Harpy: pretty sure that's most of my cast described
Jumpropeman: too hot for rp, I say
Harpy: we have stella
Jumpropeman: you're right, cats eat mice...
Harpy: damn rite
Gooper Blooper: "Stella Hoshii is ostensibly kind, unbearably beautiful, very attractive, insanely sexy and caring" - last edit made by Sapphire Drachen
Harpy: sammy can't compete with that

---

RubyChao: "I never remember what my actual objective is in Metroid games. I just wander around until I find something new.
Adam will be like "You need to activate the generator in Sector 7 and clear the foliage from the turbines to proceed." and I'm like "Walk around using my latest upgrade on every inch of the map. Gotcha.""
RubyChao: me
Jumpropeman: "Metroid Fusion is too linear" "not if you don't pay attention to anything" *taps forehead*

Chatzy Madness Volume 357: We Respect Your Grinch Lust

Jumpropeman: ive been eager for the next madness
Gooper Blooper: because you knew it would have the alvin and the chipmunks wiki in it, right

(later)

Jumpropeman: "I really want to find me a woman who gets stuck in tight spaces in Alvin and the Chipmunks: the Squeakquel"
Jumpropeman: put this on my gravestone

---

Merit Sheep: "12 Games of Christmas: Adolescent Santa Claus"
Merit Sheep dread
iKomodo: Good
iKomodo: Oh dear
iKomodo: much dread
Merit Sheep: I will say
Merit Sheep: JRM's article on it is well constructed though

---

Jumpropeman: oh yeah cornwind
Jumpropeman: they updated River City Girls to have a marginally better secret ending!
Cornwind Evil: Well stomp on frogs and shove a crowbar up my nose.
Jumpropeman: give me a second, I don't have a crowbar on hand
Gooper Blooper: A+ Garfield reference CW
Cornwind Evil: The fact that GB recognized that reference kinda scares me
Gooper Blooper: It was one of my favorite strips back in the day
Gooper Blooper: Garfield at his most aggressively sarcastic

---

Jumpropeman: I went to family video again today, place is stripped dry
Jumpropeman: didnt buy anything except ice cream
Jumpropeman: the few games I'd still want to buy left hadn't discounted below 10 bucks
Jumpropeman: the shelves had 1: sports games 2: kinect/playstation move games and 3: Fallout 76 :V
Gooper Blooper: they're happy no one bought their freezer yet so they could still sell ice cream

---

Bree: snom? snom.
Tori: Appletun is so good
Draco: SNOM

---

Jumpropeman: oh no
Jumpropeman: I had forgotten that I had given Dracozolt Gijinka a name
Tori: HAHA
Tori: YOU ARE AS DOOMED AS I AM
Tori: i’m sorry for your loss

Chatzy Madness Volume 355: Shimmer Contacts God and Patchouli Backfills Her Own Existence

Jumpropeman: is it possible
Jumpropeman: to hate chewbacca
Jumpropeman left the chat 19 hours ago
Kong Squad joined the chat 18 hours ago
Kong Squad: No
Kong Squad: It's not possible to hate Chewbacca
Brinehammer joined the chat 16 hours ago
Brinehammer: I hate Chewbacca 😈
Working Del joined the chat 10 hours ago
Working Del: can't believe the brine heel turn
Working Del left the chat 10 hours ago
Jumpropeman joined the chat 3 hours ago
Jumpropeman: brine why

---

MobileDraco: "Jumpropeman: anyone? anyone? Pressure Cooker? anyone?" <- Did we ever get these thoughts?
Jumpropeman: I never did play Pressure Cooker after that
Jumpropeman: perhaps it was too much
Jumpropeman: pressure
MobileDraco: You can play it for me next month.
Jumpropeman: finally, the person who wants to hear about pressure cooker!
MobileDraco: I so do. ;o;
Jumpropeman: I don't like the look of that pig on the right
Jumpropeman: i go to look up pressure cooker again and keep finding atari's gold mine of oddities

---

Jumpropeman: what if for christmas
Jumpropeman: I gave Sheep
Martian Sheep: No
Jumpropeman: rifftrax Rollergator
Martian Sheep: Huh
Jumpropeman: have I baffled you with this reasonable idea
Martian Sheep: I'm thoroughly baffled.
Tori: What if
Tori: girls

---

Tori: gonna test out this weighted blanket-
Tori: WHERE THE FUCK IS THIS JINGLING COMING FROM
Martian Sheep: LOOK OUT HARPY
Tori: SANTA ITS NOT FUCKING CHRISTMAS YET
Martian Sheep: IT'S THE ICE CREAM BUNNY
Tori: cease
Martian Sheep: HE'S COMING FOR YOU
Tori: i already ate ice cream you piece of crap
Draco: ALMOST CHRISTMAS MEANS IT WASN'T CHRISTMAS

A Merry Mega Christmas

-OLYMPIA MALL-

"So 'Mega Christmas' is actually a thing, huh?"

Xyra nodded at the confused Sumireko. "Yeah. A lot of Olympia's businesses push it as the ultimate version of Christmas. It gets a lot of backlash for being super commercialized, even more than regular Christmas since it's purely a company-invented holiday. Like Black Friday. But kids think it's cool and a lot of corporations will frame their charity donations and toy drives as being part of it, so it sticks around."

Sumireko shook her head with a small smile. "Heh... Olympia feels like a slice of the future sometimes."

"...So, here we are, huh? Another year over, another fleet of enemies defeated... off to prepare for next year's adventures. It's different this time, though."

Sumireko and Xyra turned at the voice, seeing Dolby approaching the group and looking wistful. Sumi waved at her friend. "Different? What's different about it now, Dolby?"

"There's less than two weeks left in 2019. That means there's less than two weeks left of the decade. The New Tens, Sumi... it's ending. A whole decade of stuff happening, including the entirety of the Kobbers' history so far. The 2010s will become part of history forever... and one day, I'm gonna reminisce about it." Dolby looked around the mall with a vaguely sad smile. "I'm a nostalgia elemental... but this is the first time I've ever actually been around for the turn of the decade. It's a little scary."

"Don't be afraid!" Xyra put a reassuring hand on Dolby's shoulder. "I don't remember my life before I became Xyra. Seanet had nothing to tell me about it... but it's okay. I've got you guys now. And so this is basically MY first new decade, too. We'll face it together, alright?"

"..."

Dolby smiled at the reassuring face of her friend and nodded. "Right. Let's head into 2020 with our heads high."

"Yeah! And look out for new adventures!" Sumireko cheered, pumping a fist.

"As energetic as ever." Dolby laughed a bit as Sumi hopped around eagerly, ready to continue their last-minute Christmas shopping. The three of them walked on together, deeper into the mall. They were the only members of Nerd Club here today. Tokiko and Rachel had both long finished their shopping. Tokiko's dislike of large crowds and Rachel's careful planning of the holidays meant both had taken care of business weeks ago, but Xyra and Sumireko were rather more flakey and had to get a few more things before they were finished buying gifts. As for Dolby, she'd finished her shopping, but her love of the mall kept her coming back anyway.

A disturbance in the middle of the mall caught their attention, especially when they spotted a certain bartender they knew very well. Jill Stingray, clad in a red-and-green elf costume, stood next to the big comfy chair of a rather unconventional-looking Mall Santa, a redhead that the nerds didn't recognize.

Dolby blinked. "...Jill? Is that YOU?"

"Oh my god, what are you wearing." Xyra covered her mouth to suppress a giggle.

Chatzy Madness Volume 354: Borf Forfles

Jumpropeman: "Everyone talking about “baby Yoda” is jarring for me because I loved Yoda so much as a child my mom lied to me that the movie “Mac and me” was about “baby Yoda” and I was so fucking stupid I believed her even all the way through watching it."

---

iKomodo: First leaks of Pokémon Gun looking great
Draco: XD

---

Draco: The next Brinegirl.
Jumpropeman: seems perfectly accurate

---

(Immediately after a discussion about classic RP villain The Lord)

Muddled Sheep: link
Jumpropeman: not now noonsa
Gooper Blooper: sheeplot 2020 is just "Here's More Joke Enemies From Slayers"
Muddled Sheep: Noonsa is always relevant :I
Jumpropeman: Noonsa is hopefully not relevant to very recent chat
Muddled Sheep: ALWAYS relevant
Jumpropeman: o.o
Jumpropeman: meanwhile im over here trying to convince myself not to eat a pizza for some reason
Muddled Sheep: Would you eat in a house?
Muddled Sheep: Would you eat it with a mouse?
Jumpropeman: don't get me thinking about green eggs and ham again
Gooper Blooper: you'll make him cry!
Draco: Let's try hash browns and bacon instead.
Jumpropeman: I was dangerously close to making two characters from it RP characters. DANGEROUSLY.
Muddled Sheep: Dangerously cheesy?!
Jumpropeman: ONE OF THEM WOULD HAVE BEEN
Draco: Which two characters?
Muddled Sheep: Was it the French mouse :I
Gooper Blooper: one of them is, of course
Gooper Blooper: Joey
Muddled Sheep sounds of pottery toppling off the back of a donkey cart
Jumpropeman: https://youtube.com/watch?v=VurfnihEVl0
Jumpropeman: my favorite part of this scene: "He's a liar!" "If the man were a liar, his pants would be on fire. Those are clearly just scaredy pants."
Gooper Blooper: #TooLateForCurse
Jumpropeman: McWinkle is something interesting, in that he's a gruff, tough guy who does not get fed up with his bumbling sidekick's shenanigans
Jumpropeman: he's a very understanding bad guy
Muddled Sheep: He seemed a little fed up at the end of that scene
Jumpropeman: on some levels yeah
Jumpropeman: like, he's not completely permissive
Muddled Sheep: I see
Draco: How does Green Eggs and Ham have BAD GUYS?
Jumpropeman: I will not go further into a potential character analysis, I recognize this trap
Muddled Sheep: Trap???
Cornwind Evil: "Realizing they will not be able to raise enough money by legitimate means, Debbie convinces the other girls to engage in sexual activities for more money. They agree, but only if it is on their terms. From this point onward, the film abandons the central plot (leaving it unresolved whether Debbie ever makes it to Dallas)."
Cornwind Evil: Because, of course, this is vitally important.
Muddled Sheep: CW
Muddled Sheep: why
Jumpropeman: he fell for my trap!
Gooper Blooper: well, I mean, it's in the title!
Gooper Blooper: How can Debbie do Dallas if she's not in Dallas?!?!
Jumpropeman: there isn't even a character named Dallas
Jumpropeman: which feels like a missed opportunity
Draco: Deb made it to Dallas at least.
Muddled Sheep retreats back to the entirely different hell of post making
Jumpropeman: "Graham Silcock as “The other boy in the shower”"
Jumpropeman: holy
Jumpropeman: there are a lot of remakes, sequels, and spinoffs to Debbie Does Dallas
Jumpropeman: Debbie Does Dallas: The Revenge (2003)
Jumpropeman: "In 2001, Debbie Does Dallas: The Musical was created by Susan L. Schwartz for the New York International Fringe Festival.[16] In 2002 it was made into an Off-Broadway musical comedy of the same name.[17] Unlike the original movie, the musical did not contain any actual sex or nudity,[17] which caused some disappointment among people"
Jumpropeman: I am
Jumpropeman: not going down this particular rabbit hole
Jumpropeman: I'm going for that pizza
Cornwind Evil: I will, JRM
Cornwind Evil: Or rather I did
Cornwind Evil: And it is never confirmed if she ever made it to Dallas
Cornwind Evil: Who would have thought a pornographic film would care so little about its story premise.
Draco: Shocker, I agree.

Chatzy Madness Volume 329: Grandma Got Devoured By A Spino

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A Nerd Club Christmas

-DECEMBER 24, 1999-

-MANHATTAN, NEW YORK-

"I do not very much enjoy Christmas."

It was Christmas Eve, and here a child with messy black hair hid under her sheets, grumbling to herself while peering at a book with a flashlight.

"Mother and father do not listen to me. I am certain I just got frilly girly things again. I bet they're pink."

The girl known as Viola Brown sighed, her cheeks puffing out. Long has she wanted to run away from home, start her own life where no one would make fun of her for liking the occult. She'd go far away and change her name. Viola was nice, but Brown was much too plain. Maybe something like... like...

She looked down at the book she was reading again. The Official Pokemon Handbook. She'd read it cover to cover many times, but she always came back for more. The pages were open to the two-page spread devoted to Gastly, Haunter, and Gengar, and she stared at those pages with wide, wistful eyes.

"I wish I could be a Pokemon Trainer. They get to go wherever they want and have adventures. Pokemon would not judge me."

Her eyes fell to the list of attacks the Pokemon could learn. The words "Night Shade" drifted over her vision.

"...Nightshade..."

Chatzy Madness Volume 308: A Distinct Lack of Sephine

On Steam Wishlist-REVENGE: Miu tries to improve on Dawn's design 'just to show her she can'
RubyChao: she would
On Steam Wishlist-REVENGE: Creates my main 2019 villain Twilight
RubyChao: and/or attempt to sexually proposition her
Jumpropeman: miu would make a more sexually charged design than dirk i wager
On Steam Wishlist-REVENGE: Dawn: YOU JUST HAD TO USE THE ULTRON SCHEMATICS DIDN'T YOU.
RubyChao: miu and dirk collaborate and dawn's just like
RubyChao: "this is a sexbot design isn't it" "yep!"
On Steam Wishlist-REVENGE: Dawn: You just HAD to show you could TAME them, didn't you.
Jumpropeman: Dawn is no longer human
Gooper Blooper: Dawn was never human
On Steam Wishlist-REVENGE: Dawn: Such a design is unnecessary.
Jumpropeman: Gooper! How rude!
RubyChao: OR WAS SHE
RubyChao: DID JRM JUST REVEAL HER DARK BACKSTORY
Jumpropeman: *Faith piledrives gooper*
On Steam Wishlist-REVENGE: Dawn: The octopus is TECHNICALLY correct...
Jumpropeman: Faith: "HE'S MORE OF A SQUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID"
Draco: DeMonde teleports to where Zeldoten is and brings her back. She smacks both her and Dawn upside the noggin. "Play nice or I'm grounding zhe both of you." Then she goes back to making her own Hedorah or something IDK.
On Steam Wishlist-REVENGE: Dawn puts Miu in STEM to help her with Chaos' reformation/reformatting since she's SO GOOD with machines.
Jumpropeman: "Gooper Blooper is a larger than average Blooper who never displays much in the way of intelligence"
Jumpropeman: mariowiki is harsh to our good friend
RubyChao: that's cause they're blooperacists

---

On Steam Wishlist-REVENGE: Shining Force has a subtitle, much like The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring.
On Steam Wishlist-REVENGE: Subtitles can really add to something sounding epic
On Steam Wishlist-REVENGE: STAR WARS: THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK
On Steam Wishlist-REVENGE: TERMINATOR 2: JUDGEMENT DAY
On Steam Wishlist-REVENGE: KNACK 2: YES THIS EXISTS
On Steam Wishlist-REVENGE: So guess what the Shining Force subtitle is
Jumpropeman: KNACK 2 BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYy
ivel: STAR WARS EPISODE I: THE PHANTOM MENACE
ivel: :U
ivel: anyway I dunno
RubyChao: THE KING OF LIMBO
ivel: The Shining?
On Steam Wishlist-REVENGE: It is....SHINING FORCE: THE LEGACY OF GREAT INTENTION
Jumpropeman: gotta love the things that have nonsense subtitles
On Steam Wishlist-REVENGE: ....I think someone mighta have been confused over some Japanese kakana aspects
Jumpropeman: Croc: Legend of the Gobbos
Jumpropeman: holy shit man, I gotta know about that Gobbo legend
Jumpropeman: hold up guys, I might blow your mind with this hot take on Croc: Legend of the Gobbos
Jumpropeman: its not a game about the legend behind the Gobbos
Jumpropeman: no, Croc perhaps IS the legend of the Gobbos, for his bravery in collecting generic crystals
ivel: :O
Phone: You're rapidly losing my financial support, but go on
ivel: with this revelation, I need to go to bed to process this
Jumpropeman: Gobbos, by the by, appearing to be Tribbles with eyes
Jumpropeman: and naturally, Croc was raised by the Gobbos, who found him in the exact same way baby Moses was found in the Bible
Jumpropeman: "One day, Baron Dante and his band of villains known as the Dantinis invade Gobbo Valley and begin terrorizing the Gobbos, capturing them and locking them in steel cages. Amidst the chaos, King Rufus summons a magical yellow bird named Beany, who uses her magical abilities to transport Croc to safety"
Jumpropeman: why don't I own Croc
Phone: Final Fantasy 14-7, Return of the Unrepetent Subtitles
Draco: Because it might actually have decent gameplay.
Phone: I was gonna suggest the opposite to Draco's quip. 8u Ya got distracted with good games for a bit and lost your badsenses.
Phone: So is Dante more the Gaming Inferno, or the Devil May Crier
Jumpropeman: I was legitimately thinking of starting Fallout:New Vegas lately, but Ven is right. I've strayed from my roots. Time to look into playing Croc: Legend of the Gobbos instead

Chatzy Madness Volume 234: Bubsy Edition

RubyChao: guys
RubyChao: i found insomnia cookies nearby
RubyChao: "nearby" in this case is "twenty blocks away" but THAT'S CLOSE ENOUGH

---

Etrohus: [8:38:19 PM] Ivelchild: I knew Tony Hawk 5 was bad but
[8:38:21 PM] Ivelchild: "Some players found it crashing so hard they had to log out and create entirely new Xbox accounts"
[8:38:29 PM] Ivelchild: HOW DO YOU FAIL THAT BAD
[8:38:30 PM] HarpyKuro: dear god
[8:38:34 PM] HarpyKuro: what
iKomodo: WHAT
Etrohus: this game needs jesus
Etrohus: [8:39:52 PM] Ivelchild: "The day one update was 7.7 gigabytes. The entire install from the game disc was only 4.6 GB"
Etrohus: YES IT DOES NEED JESUS

---

Gooper Blooper: "God f***ing damnit this f***ing match. f*** Undertale and its fans. f*** Mass Effect 3 for not stopping this, and its dumb fanboys for not shutting up about X-stats. Melee should've had this, but now it's down by thousands for no f***ing reason."

(Yes, Undertale continued winning GameFAQs matches)

---

Draco: What kind of girl does Hussie like? Chubby librarians who own flying saucers? ;V
Etrohus: i doubt patchy would be much interested in a guy like etrohus
Draco: Too awesome?
Gooper Blooper: patchy's true love is books
Etrohus: ^
Etrohus: he may crush on her but she will be forever unattainable
Etrohus: ​jake marshall, on the other hand
Draco: Jake Marshall totally has a chance with Patchy?
Etrohus: etrohus may have a chance with jake marshall, if jake marshall were relevant in 2017 :U
RubyChao: >​marshall
RubyChao: >​2017
RubyChao: i got some bad news
Etrohus: i did say if
Draco: ​We all know Patchy's One True Love is Gloria with Librarian Glasses.
RubyChao: ​confirmed

Chatzy Madness Volume 230: Diaper Duty 2: The Eggs

Brilliant Kid: I went on a huge nostalgia tv bender like a year or so ago and ended up watching a bunch of scrap heap challenge and robot wars
SteelKomodo: oh lawdy
Brilliant Kid: And there was one episode of robot wars that featured one of the tean's websites and it was just hilariously dated and awesome
SteelKomodo: amazing
Brilliant Kid: The most dated thing I watched was 10 seconds of Pat Sharp's mullet in the intro to Funhouse. Somehow his hair was even worse than I remembered which is just amazing really

---

Gooper Blooper joined the chat
RubyChao: hello goopy
harpizza: ruby was wondering what was keeping you
harpizza: was it chocolate
harpizza: chatzy madness
harpizza: chatzy madness engraved into chocolate?
RubyChao: that sounds like some delicious chatzy madness
harpizza: chatzy madness about chocolate?
Jumpropeman: hi goopery bloopery
Gooper Blooper: hello frands
Gooper Blooper: Long story short I have some Offseason Projects I've been working on
harpizza: >​offseason projects
harpizza: SaRahPG is happening
Gooper Blooper: and one way to make myself do them is to go "Self, no chatzy until you make some progress"
Gooper Blooper: because chatzy destroys creativity unless it's ded
RubyChao: that's a policy i should take more often
RubyChao: because oh my god that's true
Gooper Blooper: *productivity, not creativity
Gooper Blooper: we're ALWAYS creative
harpizza: i dunno how i get my stuff done aside from bursts of inspiration
harpizza: if i'm inspired, no matter how distracted I get, it gets done
Jumpropeman: one way to make sure I would write fites is refusing to play computer games until all the ones in the pipeline are done
Jumpropeman: and staying away from chatzy was just a way to avoid distraction
Jumpropeman: every time I hear a boop I HAVE to read what someone said!
Jumpropeman: I might miss some prime memes

---

iKomodo: I'm pretty sure it's not news now but there's a third Sharknado movie and it's literally subtitled "Oh Hell No"
iKomodo: which I'm pretty sure was the world's reaction to learning there was a third one
iKomodo: Like apparently the Asylum is completely straight-faced about the movies it makes? But there's no way they're not aware of how dumb Sharknado is, considering the marketing
Gooper Blooper: Snakes On A Plane really did launch a dynasty, didn't it
iKomodo: It did
Gooper Blooper: Like I mean there were obviously silly-bad movies before then but SOAP really seemed to kick-start the genre
Gooper Blooper: lel the movie's acronym is soap
Jumpropeman: Asylum made Snakes on a TRAIN
iKomodo: ...oh fuck, there's gonna be a 4th one
iKomodo: July 2016
Jumpropeman: apparently its so bad its not a B Movie
Jumpropeman: its a Z movie
Jumpropeman: "Z movies are films that are low-budget that have qualities lower than B movies."
Jumpropeman: harsh much, wikipedia?
Gooper Blooper: skipped C and went all the way to Z
Gooper Blooper: And wikipedia is as stuffy and deadpan as they come, so when THEY diss you you know you fucked up
Jumpropeman: apparently there are C Movies, but they are like, cable tv B Movies
iKomodo: Ok so here's how it goes
iKomodo: the ending of Sharknado 3 is a cliffhanger
iKomodo: you vote on the outcome by tweeting with hashtags
iKomodo: and Sharknado 4 will be a direct continuation based on the outcome of voting
iKomodo: That's... kinda weird
Jumpropeman: what kind of cliffhanger could sharknado have
Gooper Blooper: Well, it's something different
Gooper Blooper: Obviously that the sharks aren't all accounted for yet or something
Jumpropeman: Sharknado 4: Sharkicane, or Tsharknami?
iKomodo: I really don't wanna spoil it
iKomodo: but lemme say it could make or break Sharknado 4, not that there was much to begin with
iKomodo: Also they actually use the word Sharkicane in the third one, jrm
Jumpropeman: oh wow
iKomodo: it's the hypothetical scenario where multiple Sharknados combine into a super-storm of teeth and bullshit
Gooper Blooper: sharkicane final boss 2017
Jumpropeman: I still havent' seen a single sharknado
iKomodo: I don't know if I should recommend it to you, jrm
iKomodo: knowing full well you'd watch scrambled cable porn because you're that kind of person
Gooper Blooper: As I recall, JRM doesn't relish bad movies the same way he does bad games, but I could be wrong
iKomodo: I mean, it's cheesy, over-the-top and hilariously dumb, but I think it's also consciously taking the piss out of itself
Gooper Blooper: Spy on the other hand would watch sixty minutes of a claymation jar of mayonnaise singing Pumpkin Hill and deem it the greatest thing he's ever seen
iKomodo: ...spy go watch sharknado
iKomodo: right now
iKomodo: i'll wait :P
Jumpropeman: I like bad movies, I just don't watch movies as much as I used to in general
Spapstablook: Goops
Spapstablook: How dare you slander me like that
Spapstablook: It'd have to have John Cena's theme layered over it too or I wouldn't even consider it
Jumpropeman: and SK please, I wouldn't watch scrambled cable pron. I have the internet to watch scrambled porn on
Spapstablook: Oh, and who could forget Flame Hyenard and the Delfino Plaza theme
Jumpropeman: oh god how have I not heard of Flame Hyenard til now
Gooper Blooper: BURRRRN
Spapstablook: Nah, my main villain next year is going to be sports injuries
Gooper Blooper: Sports Injuries attempts to sabotage The New Better Olympics

Christmas Warmth

-MYSIDIA-

-THE STREETS OF CORNERIA-

Christmastime. A magical time of hopes, dreams, and family. Of love, and togetherness, and sharing. Of gifts and shining baubles and starlight. Even here, in far-off Corneria, the legend of Christmas had spread. The streets were alive with lights and glitter, and a massive tree in the center of town was decorated with lights. A shining star glittered at the top. The tree could be seen from almost anywhere in town, from the third story of the inn to the snowy streets below.

Her eyes gazed up at the tree. It was magical. The snow, the decorations, the excitement coming off of the people that walked by. She could feel their energy. They were all focused on something or another, most of it planning - plans for a family visit, plans for a special dinner, plans for the perfect gift. They were shopping, most of them, and as the night continued, more of them were heading towards home instead of another shop. Home, to their own smaller decorated trees, to their family, to food and a soft warm bed.

She wondered what it was like.

Chatzy Madness Volume 172: Thunder Intensithighs

Harpy: so basically, kevin is going to be the sexiest girl ever

---

Harpy: >​isn't a pizzarito just a calzone
Harpy: *stares*
cookie pizza: . . . *stares at hands*
cookie pizza: What have I done

---

(Originally posted on December 23. GB's family traditionally opens presents on Christmas Eve.)

Goopy Claus: Goopsbro has finally completed his Christmas shopping
Goopy Claus: Goopsbro has yet to start his Christmas wrapping
Goopy Claus: Goopsbro lives on the edge

(later)

Goopmas: goopsbro comes out after 20 minutes of wrapping with two tiny presents
Goopmas: "I'm really bad at wrapping"

---

---

RubyChao: someday i should make backloggery
RubyChao: someday
RubyChao: SOMEDAAAAAY
RubyChao never makes a backloggery

Chatzy Madness Volume 170: Super Dragon Slayer Kevin

God Damnit: My friend's been playing World of Warcraft again lately, and it looks too awesome. Fuck, I think I'm getting back into it
Fluropeman: but spy, how will you have the time to play binding of isaac then?
God Damnit: I can play one of them with my feet

---

Tableter: butt

---

iKomodo: Knowing del, I don't think he'll ever finish X :U
RubyChao: quickly sk
RubyChao: finish it for him
RubyChao: "why yes you did earn 2 badges last night"
RubyChao: "you uh"
RubyChao: "sleepplayed"
iKomodo: Hahaha
Gooper Blooper: "why does my team suddenly have a greninja on it" "WELL UH"

---

Gooper Blooper: Beheeyem card status: 2/3
Gooper Blooper: Beheeyem is always a non-holo rare, meaning he's that card you pull from the booster and get disappointed because you didn't get a holo
Gooper Blooper: Beheeyem just can't catch a break

---

Harpy: ...
Harpy: did i just see my stylus that i thought i lost
Harpy: and lose it again
Harpy: oh there it is
Harpy: *glares at Clefairy doll* I'M WATCHING YOU
Gooper Blooper: clefairy plush finds harpy's lost things and places them where she can find them
Gooper Blooper: you got a friend in her
Harpy: it's a small pink stylus
Harpy: it blends in way too well with my clefairy

---

Del and Knuckles: I found new jonesy
SteelKomodo: oh lawd
Del and Knuckles: "Mom stop buying beauty things from the hub" "Nah, I'm bringing sexy back"
Saberwulf: Conrad sighs continuously for a week straight
Del and Knuckles: Jonesy best worst mom

---

Barpy: ivel and I were jokingly making goat noises and my bro is like "wtf are you doing"
Barpy: i told him we were summoning a goat

Chatzy Madness Volume 169: The Sarahkin Panty Raid

RubyChao: ...i just had a mental image
RubyChao: josephine doing scrooge mcduck style vault swimming
RubyChao: except it's half money and half chocolate
SteelKomodo: oh lawd
RubyChao: (dirk is reclining on an inner tube or something)
SteelKomodo: ...and now you've given me the perfect idea for Dirk's christmas present to her
RubyChao: yay!

---

RubyChao: ...
RubyChao: why are you telling me the TASK MANAGER is an unknown program, windows
SteelKomodo: D:

---

Gooper Blooper: "As reported several weeks ago, WWE originally had plans to make next year’s Royal Rumble elimination match a 40-man bout, but it was later confirmed that it will be a traditional 30-man match. As it turns out, WWE originally planned on capitalizing on the fact that the Royal Rumble is being held in Philadelphia next year by using a bunch of ‘ECW Originals’ in the match to get the number of competitors up to 40. The idea was later nixed and WWE executives decided to go with the regular 30-man match."
Gooper Blooper stares at massive half-finished Rumble
Gooper Blooper: fack
SteelKomodo: fuckery
RubyChao: well this just proves the GB Rumble is even better than the normal rumble
RubyChao: because it's 33% larger
Gooper Blooper: 33% cooler

---

Scholar Scowle: Go, magikarp!
Scholar Scowle rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 5
Scholar Scowle: Exactly as expected.

Chatzy Madness Volume 161: Dubstep Gnome Yacht

Harpy: http://i.imgur.com/d9WIzOr.jpg
Bree: d'aww
SteelKomodo: :3
Deletons: catte
Harpy: http://i.imgur.com/GDyXavOl.jpg
Deletons: harpy pls there is going to be a critical overload of catte
Deletons: i cant handle it
Harpy: as the resident cat lover here, I say
Harpy: LET THERE BE PUSSYCAT
2Goopy joined the chat
Harpy: THAT IS AN AWKWARD TIME FOR GOOPS TO WALK IN
RubyChao: hello goops
RubyChao: is it time for heroic tenshi
2Goopy: hello friends
2Goopy: teim 2 get spoopy, pokemon style
2Goopy: Operation Save The Spook
RubyChao: IT'S JUST LIKE DIRK RESCUING JOSEPHINE
RubyChao: tenshi: "No it's not."

---

RubyChao: i like how chatzy madness is chronicling my continued descent into despair and doom

---

Saberwulf: So apparently Kurt Russel's Escape From New York stunt double was named Dick Warlock
Tableter: What a kickass name
Cornwind Evil: I swear, people don't like the Ravenskys, but if I can ever make a movie about them by some miracle, I'm going to see if in the credits I can get all the stunt people who played the main characters listed right after the actor instead of a big block of names
Saberwulf: Speed Weed, Dick Warlock, all the classics
Harpy: *has a heart attack and dies*
Harpy: rip, died of ravensky overexposure
Saberwulf: By the way Speed Weed is a real person
Cornwind Evil: No one said you had to go SEE the movie Harpy
Saberwulf: They co-produce a few shows like Law & Order
Cornwind Evil: Though wouldn't that be hilarious? We lose touch, twenty-five years later Del's kids are like 'Hey dad we wanna go see this movie." "Okay." And then it turns out it's about the Ravenskys and Del is all like NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
iKomodo: That would be amazing
Saberwulf: It's the other film in the theater, alongside three romantic comedies and the 17th movie of my books, which has just made even more billions of dollars
Saberwulf dares to dream
iKomodo: They are soon followed by the movie version of my own novel, which has giant monsters in it
iKomodo: i worked on the special effects
iKomodo is probably more ambitious than Wulf is

(later)

Jumpropeman: *imagines his future*
Jumpropeman: *sees a fat seal slapping a keyboard*
Jumpropeman: everything seems to be in order :D
 Jumpropeman: it seems we also discussed fears in chatzy
Jumpropeman: *imagines his fears*
Jumpropeman: *sees a fat seal slapping a keyboard with a witch mask on*
Jumpropeman: D:

Chatzy Madness Volume 153: And Den Meat Boy Trew Her Hed

Harp: i found my reaction sound to any and all omnious, dangerous villains
SteelKomodo: oh?
Harp: [luigi noises]
SteelKomodo: ...which one is it?
SteelKomodo: it's made up of all different ones
Harp: all of them
SteelKomodo: wat
Harp: but mainly "mama mia" and "BLEH"
Gooper Blooper: Siren staring down giant villain, opens her mouth, stream of Luigi voice clips
Harp: ...
Harp: brb crying and laughing

---

Procedural Dels: here's some real honest-to-god lore from endless legend
Procedural Dels: one faction, the broken lords, are nanobot ghost vampire knights
Procedural Dels: one of their heroes, when he was alive, was basically the shittiest knight ever
Saberwulf: pff
Procedural Dels: instead of jousting, he'd pretend to be ill and then introduce a sympathetic girl with big boobs to his "lance"
Procedural Dels: eventually his dad got fed up, sat him on a horse and told him to joust you fucking waster
Procedural Dels: he got wrecked
Procedural Dels: and then he decided to be the best knight ever instead
Procedural Dels: and then i guess he died and became a nanobot vampire ghost knight
Procedural Dels: THE END
Saberwulf: Nanobot ghost vampire Conrad
SteelKomodo: XD
Procedural Dels: ahahahahaha
Procedural Dels: "Mom, I don't wanna joust!" "Conrad David Svilzerian, I'll break your fucking arms if you don't get out there right now!"
Saberwulf: Mama Jonesy layin' down the law
Saberwulf: Also holy shit there's no way his middle name is David
Procedural Dels: it is
Saberwulf: Yesssss
Procedural Dels: i decided that as of right now
Saberwulf: "You're named after a goat I found in the garbage"
Procedural Dels: "Gee thanks mom"
Saberwulf: At least it wasn't like "you're named after the bravest men I knew, Conrad Airman Alexthejanitor Svilzerian"

(later)

Delvasion: TheDeleter: but hooray at least little conrad officially exists now
-Saberwulf: Conrad David Svilzerian I think you mean
-TheDeleter: no joke, i did actually consider making his middle name david at one point
-TheDeleter: i didn't dismiss it, i just never thought about it again :P
-Saberwulf: David is a very narcissistic person
-Saberwulf: Well if you ever want to change it, David knows some people. One day he's Conrad David Svilzerian, next day he's David Conrad Svilzerian
Delvasion: FUCK
Gooper Blooper: Yeah I was gonna say the other day del
Gooper Blooper: Middle name David was the plan from the start
Delvasion: It was always his middle name
Delvasion: Plot twist
Delvasion: Never Forget

---

Vengeance, making lasagna: I'm still having trouble working out how a single kobber in a two-day period could travel several hundred miles between targets, murder three boss-level characters and three point two five thousand mooks, and still come home for dinner when *on* screen, the dread pirates could wreck at him so bad on their lonesome.
-blows raspberry-
Kobbers.
Gooper Blooper: Have you forgotten, FV?
Gooper Blooper: It's The Conservation of Ninjutsu. The more Razaans and pirates you toss in there, the faster they'll go!
Vengeance, making lasagna: That's a question I get posed more often than you'd think in-
Cornwind Evil: What GB said
Vengeance, making lasagna: oh.
Gooper Blooper: If this plot was just the real Razaan and Vanderdecken we'd be fucking screwed
Vengeance, making lasagna: -revises plans drastically-
Saberwulf: Obviously the Kobbers' soul coronas interacted so much over the years they all, through the conceptual realization of the "Kobber" title they foist upon themselves, unsticks them from reality which is why tiny magic ladies can fight godbeasts and not get exploded too hard
Saberwulf: Or I dunno maybe they're all Orks and the blood they spill makes them go faster
Delvasion: All kobbers are orks
Vengeance, making lasagna: Paint it all red, boys! Red! Crypt gray and omen black are right out! You must make it -DAKA!-
Delvasion: Now canon
Delvasion: Carol da meklady

Chatzy Madness Volume 99: IT'S ME, SHAGGY

SteelKomodo: http://steelkomodo.blogspot.com/2013/12/dirkmas-2-epilogue-presents.html
Harpy: DIRKYYY
SteelKomodo: yep
Jingle Dels: dirky~
SteelKomodo: #ShurikensAndLightning
Harpy: it rhymes with
Harpy: turkey
SteelKomodo: it does
Harpy: that is proof
Harpy: that dirk
Harpy: IS A CAT PERSON
Harpy: BECAUSE CATS LIKE TURKEY TOO
SteelKomodo: D:

---

Harpy: N-no
Harpy: someone
Harpy: either moved my chocolate or ate my chocolate
Harpy: the chocolate that goops gave me
Harpy: I HOPE IT GAVE THEM STOMACH ISSUES BECAUSE THAT WAS GIVEN WITH LOVE AND I WAS GONNA EAT IT
Harpy: GRRR SO MAD
RubyChao: D:
Harpy: and thus thats how I pouted about chocolate
Harpy: chocolate is serious business
SteelKomodo: D:
Harpy: no wait crisis averted, it was just that it was hard to see the chocolate since the packaging blended in with everything else
Harpy: chocolate tried to avoid its doom
Harpy: but there is no escape from me
RubyChao: sarah intensifies
Harpy: now this
Harpy: this is good chocolate

Chatzy Madness Volume 98: Sarah Cheesecake

Gooper Blooper: Harpy: damn, no goops
Harpy: i must tell him about this alternate universe full of alexes
RedSpy: pfffft
Harpy: after he defeated yursarsh, everybody started naming their bebbes after him and hoping they grow up to be big, strong knights
Gooper Blooper: ...
Gooper Blooper: >​big
RubyChao: alex's size was highly exaggerated in the legends
Gooper Blooper: The size given in the scrolls was in fact the length of his idiot hair
SteelKomodo: Lolz

---

Harpy: *just made a flower girl in a new steam game called Starbound*
Harpy: NOT MORE CHARACTERS GKJLGJ
Gooper Blooper: The Harpykin
SteelKomodo: :3
Gooper Blooper: An enormous, glorious throng of fantasy people

---

RubyChao: so if Spy is Shane and Goops is Vince
RubyChao: what does that make me
Gooper Blooper: uh
Gooper Blooper: The Rock?
Harpy: what
Gooper Blooper: Chao is the people's champion
RubyChao: can you smeeeeell what the chao is cooking
Harpy: I am more confoot than ever
Gooper Blooper: harpy is always confused by chatzy
RedSpy: We rustlemans now
Harpy: more confoot than a death god drinking snapture ready
Harpy: why is he even at the KoB anyway
Gooper Blooper: It's not like gods have never dropped by the KoB
Harpy: Muh ideaaz, they outta control
RedSpy: Because Wynaut
Gooper Blooper: Arceus stopped by for a few pints the other day, mumbling about "Banktide"

The Children Were Nestled All Snug in Their Beds

"Ahhhhh... Bliss. Pure bliss." Gloria announced happily to no one in particular.

She was alone in a large library.Rain gently pattered against the windows. Surrounding her were tall shelves of books. All in all, it was much like her library back home in Manhattan, complete with solitude. Except...

Except that the books were from all around the world, many of them hundreds of years old. Their quality was amazing given their age, but they still had that wonderful musty old-book smell. Best of all, even though they weren't all written in English, Gloria held in her pocket a shining gem called the Rosetta Stone, which allowed her to read any language. French, German, Japanese, Chinese, Latin, Lufenian... no book could escape her now.

She sank back into a large, comfortable recliner, put up her feet, popped a small chocolate in her mouth to suck on, and cracked open a bestiary of monsters written over five hundred years ago.