Thursday, December 31, 2015

Chatzy Madness Volume 225: OOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAUGH

WorkDel: i just pledged $125 on a kickstarter for plastic space dwarves because i am a maniac

---

Jumpropeman: there's a guy on deviantart who has his own mac tonight costume and wears it to do strange things
sprtgh: JRM I'm sorry but I can only imagine a guy dressing up as Mac Tonight, breaking into people's houses, and then doing nothing but serenading them on their pianos

---

Harpy: i had to tell my dog to stop being adorable

---

Revanchist: I went for pizza. I caved to the booby lady's earnest face and chatting of Tolkien while spaghetti cooked, and now I am eating that instead, fresh from the takehome tin and the paper bag.
Revanchist: MY WILL IS WEAK
Revanchist munches with mourning but secretly pleased recollection

---

Cornwind Evil: It's a CRIMSON incubus
Cornwind Evil: It has some vampire like traits but it is not, technically, a vampire
Cornwind Evil: It's alive for one
Jumpropeman: you're not alive til you tried my momma's goulash

---

Gooper Blooper: important reminder:
Gooper Blooper: Gust and Blade in ZFRP: important characters that developed and grew over the course of a season, interacting with other characters and gaining depth
Gooper Blooper: Gust and Blade in their source material
RubyChao: zfrp.txt
Harpy: lel

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Chatzy Madness Volume 224: Shimmer Barf Watch

Harpy: i'm old enough to pretend to drink mead and enjoy it

---

Gooper Blooper: ruined
Harpy: hahaha bimp

---

Good Job, Tragic Pony: I am at the sad pony doctor

---

(during Drown Yer Mates 5)

SteelKomodo: ​"Lily has absconded with Sonia to who knows where to do who knows what."
SteelKomodo: ​*EYEBROWS*
Harpy: ​they're playing board games in their underwear
Gooper Blooper: ​PARTYYYYY
Harpy:  also notice how none of the actual people who are good at drinking is winning
Gooper Blooper: ​The odds of these two being the finalists was ridiculously low, they got third-last and second-last in the popular vote
RubyChao: ​the upset is real
Harpy: ​so basically the tractor gods just wanted to flip us off
Harpy: ​i'm betting goops accidentally won this one :U
Harpy: ​THERE NOW THAT I SAID IT IT WON'T COME TRUE
RubyChao: ​MARY IS AN UNSTOPPABLE MONSTER

---

Harpy: words are important

---

RubyChao: so how about that small town sports sundown-
RubyChao: oh wait
RubyChao: he's dead

---

RubyChao: question
RubyChao: is Abedebe just misunderstood? :V
Neo Gooper: no
RubyChao: oh okay
RubyChao commences punching

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Christmas Warmth



Christmastime. A magical time of hopes, dreams, and family. Of love, and togetherness, and sharing. Of gifts and shining baubles and starlight. Even here, in far-off Corneria, the legend of Christmas had spread. The streets were alive with lights and glitter, and a massive tree in the center of town was decorated with lights. A shining star glittered at the top. The tree could be seen from almost anywhere in town, from the third story of the inn to the snowy streets below.

Her eyes gazed up at the tree. It was magical. The snow, the decorations, the excitement coming off of the people that walked by. She could feel their energy. They were all focused on something or another, most of it planning - plans for a family visit, plans for a special dinner, plans for the perfect gift. They were shopping, most of them, and as the night continued, more of them were heading towards home instead of another shop. Home, to their own smaller decorated trees, to their family, to food and a soft warm bed.

She wondered what it was like.

Saturday, December 19, 2015

Chatzy Madness Volume 223: I Am A Bitchin' Horse

RubyChao: gonna finish my book
RubyChao: bbs
Gooper Blooper: *chao comes back in two minutes* "that was a good book"
RubyChao: back
RubyChao: i was like two chapters from the end
Gooper Blooper: Exactly, a minute per chapter

---

SteelKomodo: hahaha Anthony
SteelKomodo: I like this guy
SteelKomodo: "Oh, I'm clearly in over my head... YOLO!"
Jumpropeman: he ain't much, but he ain't gonna stand by and let people be dicks!

---

Jumpropeman: "[color=GWAHAHA]"
Jumpropeman: I'm really bad at typing my color names sometimes
Gooper Blooper: hahaha
Gooper Blooper: I've had a similar situation where Celestia's "medium purple" and Rex Maximilion's "medium blue" somehow turn into just "medium"

---

Jumpropeman: I remember a time when I was the guy who barely went on plots
Gooper Blooper: you're a mover and shaker these days, frand
Gooper Blooper: Deckplot was the turning point IMO
Jumpropeman: I think I went on more plots in the last two weeks then I did all of 2011 :V
Jumpropeman: for some reason I thought it was a smart idea to go from "only dayplots" to "year long megaplot with tons of events"
Jumpropeman: it worked :V
SteelKomodo: :U
RubyChao: kek

Friday, December 11, 2015

Chatzy Madness Volume 222: srspost

Jumpropeman: *leaves a pineapple in chatzy*
Jumpropeman left the chat
Cornwind Evil: -eats the pineapple-

---

RubyChao: wow the SA paywall is down already
RubyChao: what is this
Del: lowtax is a generous god

---

N Goat: Sheeplot thing is still happening. Just don't expect to blown out the water by the depth of content or anything
N Goat so bad at talking up his plots
N Goat: GO IN WITH THE LOWEST EXPECTATIONS POSSIBLE

---

RubyChao: >​playing FFV
RubyChao: "you can't get to the library anymore"
RubyChao sinks to knees
RubyChao flops over

RubyChao: etc, etc

---

Jumpropeman: there's like some insane party next door
Jumpropeman: just repetitive bass all day since 4

(later)

Jumpropeman: so, I found out about that "party"
Jumpropeman: my neighbors across the street have their little daughters playing outside to really loud Kidz Bop
Gooper Blooper: what a party

Thursday, December 3, 2015

Chatzy Madness Volume 221: Prolate Spheroid

RubyChao: "In the TF Prime episode Orion Pax, part 2, there's a brief shot where the Autobots are missing numerous bits from their bodies. Ratchet has it worst, because he has no face, only a highly unsettling pair of eyes and two rows of teeth floating in the dark void between his neck and helmet."
RubyChao: spoopy
SteelKomodo: 2spooky
RubyChao: "Near the end of "The Mechanic", Batman's mouth suddenly wrenches open and his eyes dilate, going in opposite directions, which lasts a good second or two. Unsurprisingly, this was an AKOM-helmed episode."
SteelKomodo: BATMAN PLS
RubyChao: "All of the various versions of the Super Mario Bros. cartoon had their fair share of... problems.
There's the one-off Indiana Jones parody who has no face for the entirety of the episode. Given the lack of reactions from the other characters over this fact, it's probably an error too.
There's no 'probably' about it; careful viewers can observe one of Indiana Joe's eyes briefly appearing in one shot."

SteelKomodo: I think SMW had it worst
SteelKomodo: i think by that time they'd just gotten sick of drawing this fat plumber
SteelKomodo: and on top of that the saturday morning block of NBC was getting killed off by the network
SteelKomodo: so they weren't getting the funding they needed
SteelKomodo: and by christ did it show
RubyChao: "There were also episodes where there were more than four turtles in one shot like in the very first episode (like the one scene in "Turtle Tracks" that had two Raphaels running on the roof), as well as plenty scenes that had more than one turtle with the same colored headband or scenes where one turtle would be speaking with the wrong voice."
SteelKomodo: well, that's what happens when you design all your protags as pallete swaps
SteelKomodo: at least Extreme Dinosaurs had different species [smug] ​
RubyChao: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v622/super_llama/SFII_deejay.jpg
RubyChao: http://smg.photobucket.com/user/super_llama/media/SFII_bacon.jpg.html
SteelKomodo: DiC definitely stands for "Do it Cheap" :U

---

Dacor: This is why Draco doesn't go to amusement parks. There's always overpriced food or the lines are too long or some abominable bastard of magic and science is trying to devour everything.

---

RubyChao: how large is watchlin? still watch size?
Neo Gooper: TV size
RubyChao: alrighty
Ultimate Ruined: The TV
Ultimate Ruined: The TV is on
RubyChao: it's on channel ​SIX SIX SIX
Ultimate Ruined: Rap Rat Video Board Game (1992) Average Rating: 1.50/10 4 Ratings
Neo Gooper: I'm spooked
Jumpropeman: I thought it was just on UPN
Jumpropeman: which would be even worse
RubyChao: does Rap Rat air on Channel 666
RubyChao: this is important to know
Neo Gooper: Channel 666 has all your favorite spooks
Neo Gooper: We got lost episode marathons every weekend
Jumpropeman: >​UPN isn't even airing these days
Jumpropeman: wow, I hadn't even noticed
Neo Gooper: don't miss Mr. Bear's Cellar, new episodes each week
Neo Gooper: And, of course, Candle Cove and its' fifteen spinoffs
Jumpropeman: it was just always that channel I never stopped on
Neo Gooper: rip upn

Saturday, November 28, 2015

Chatzy Madness Volume 220: My Curiosity Got The Better Of Me

Gooper Blooper: link
Bree: teaaaaaa
Bree: everyone's big on tea at the SDM
Bree: during the offseason sean is going to become a tea connoisseur
Bree: identify the brand and purchase date by smell alone

---

Jumpropeman: la cucaracha!
Jumpropeman: la cucaracha!
Jumpropeman: something something spanish words

---

M Sheep: ​That Widow Maker vs Spitfire fight was pretty cool though​
Gooper Blooper: ​Reminder that Stag Beetle and The Scorpion also wound up rolling dual 20s in their final battle
Jumpropeman: ​Sara and Sarah need a rematch so they can do the same​
M Sheep: ​TIME IS A CIRCLE​
M Sheep: ​WHAT HAS SHALL BE AGAINNNNN​
Gooper Blooper: ​they roll dual 1s instead and bounce off each other with a cartoon sound effect
Bree: ​but what cartoon sound effect, goops​
Jumpropeman: POMF
M Sheep: BONK
Gooper Blooper: probably this one
Draco: ​Sara and Sarah bounce off each other and accidentally switches bodies in a zaaaaaaaaaaaaany accident! Then they swap outfits and nobody notices.

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Chatzy Madness Volume 219: Don't Google That

Jumpropeman: Ven's hands and mine could star in a sitcom about a pair of roommates who are just so different it's WACKY
Jumpropeman: "Ven's hands! I told you to clean that dirt from under your nails!" "And I told you to do garden work!" "BUT MY NAILS WOULD GET DIRT UNDER THEM!" "Where do you think the dirt under mine came from?" *laugh track*

---

Bree: oh my gawd seaport hime is in the bar ​and the panda is in hawaii​
Bree: I have been the architect of my own suffering
Bree: w-why
Bree wilts

---

RubyChao: today i learned
RubyChao: there is a specific booru tag for "too many cats"
RubyChao: "Tag to be used when there are at least six cats in the image, especially if there are too many to count."
WorkDel: hahaha
WorkDel: there should be more tags like that

---

Guest over: Wait what What WHAT ​WHAT​ did you say, Youtube? o_o
King's Quest is back?
Guest over stares childhood in the face
Guest over begins to sob, torn between RP and Insane Puzzles
Guest over shakes Chao

Guest over: WHY IS THERE NOT MORE ​TIME

---

Saberwulf: "A whistle-blower anonymously published a highly sensitive report obtained from an Australian spy agency on the website 4chan, but his document was soon automatically deleted after it failed to gain much attention. Those 4chan users who did view the document dismissed it as 'fake and gay'."
Saberwulf: I love the internet

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Chatzy Madness Volume 218: Maximum Overcute

(The battle against Greed, a massive 500-foot blob of treasure and goo, begins and everyone begins throwing tons of characters at it)

RubyChao: small srspost
Gooper Blooper: my post will take a bit
Gooper Blooper: it's... not gonna be small :V
Harpy: mine wasn't small either so uh
Harpy: just imagine alex calling sarah
RubyChao: i don't have very exciting nuclear options
Harpy: "HONEY, WHERE'S MY ULTIMA WEAPON D: "
RubyChao: ​then the alliance shows up in the technodrome and CW's life is complete
Harpy: "i've fought bigger"
Harpy: this is 500 ft tall
RubyChao: she's exaggerating
Harpy: well unless she's talking about THE WORLD DEVOURER
RubyChao: that too
RubyChao: the end was way bigger and okuu fought it :V
Jumpropeman: The Tower and The End show up for maximum oversized villain battle
Harpy: that'd be great but 2much
Jumpropeman: *does some math*
Jumpropeman: The Tower's sword was as big as a city block, which is about 250x600 feet long or so, and the Tower was bigger than his sword
Jumpropeman: and his head was in the clouds
Harpy: so about 1000+ feet tall
Jumpropeman: my listed height for him was "pretty fucking big"
RubyChao: yeah he was really distracted during that fight
RubyChao: dohohohohohohoh
Jumpropeman: The Tower and End show up to fight Greed... realize they are all villains and just destroy the world
Jumpropeman: rest of RP is Oversized Villain RP
Jumpropeman: their plot battles are pretty short because they just squish the opponents and get back to drinking

---

Del Wing: Its time to yiff some dicks
Del Wing rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 40
Gooper Blooper: A moderate amount of dicks yiffed
Del Wing: 40 of them

---

(re: Saralex wedding)

Harpy: who is even officiating this. WHO IS THE PRIEST
Draco: Rebecca's a ship captain. She can do it! (^_^)/
Gooper Blooper: I was thinking the same thing, I don't think we ever decided on a priest
Harpy: technically captains can't officiate it
Harpy: i was thinking amity for pure shits and giggles
Gooper Blooper: I remember mentioning Reimu and I think she's doing pitsuho's
Harpy: Reimu just took a vaycay anyway
Gooper Blooper: Kisha maybe? Since she showed up in Vegas?
Harpy: Kisha could work again
Draco: Father Squid, if he's not dead.
Harpy: "Sweet Axanon's beard, I have to do this? Oh god, I LEFT MY PRIEST OUTFIT AT HOME"
Draco: Side note: aren't White Mages called Priests in some games? Have Ariel do it.
Harpy: in some games yes
Gooper Blooper: They're called Priests in, of all games, the original FFT :V
Harpy: Kisha is shoving the God of Gods so far away
Gooper Blooper: stupid mental image
Draco: !!!
Harpy: "but whyyyyyy" "BECAUSE YOU DID DUMB STUFF AT THE LAST ONE"
Gooper Blooper: Kisha needs an outfit, Sarah gives her that Devout costume that was too small for her
Draco: Draco can do it. He's a church official in his own religion. =V
Gooper Blooper: >​Draco officiating Sarah's wedding
Gooper Blooper: so many fat jokes
Draco: ;p
Gooper Blooper: "do you, alex, take this blob"
Harpy: Alex just glares at Draco the entire time
Harpy: do NOT ruin this for Sarah
Draco: ^_~
Harpy: very stupid image: one of the many cakes is brought out
Harpy: xavier is missing
Harpy: where is he
Harpy: XAV WHY ARE YOU IN ONE OF THE CAKES
Harpy: AAAH CAKE EVERYWHERE
Gooper Blooper: nicky-poo pops out of another cake
Harpy: Ursula is embarassed
Harpy: they are fully clothed
Harpy: not naked
Harpy: fortunately
Harpy: or unfortunately, if you're Stella
Gooper Blooper: "awww"

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Chatzy Madness Volume 217: Samoa Dinosaurs

RubyChao: so basically, today you learned that if you ever break kisume's bucket she will come at you in a berserker rage
RubyChao: so don't do it
Slash: -pulls out cell phone-
Sarah? Keiran? Sweetnik? Glass? -darn. They're all out. :U Hmm. Nerique? Christine? Cyborg-Mecha-Jesus? Elohim?
Bree: is she going to get a new bucket that is triple-reinforced
Bree: and magically enchanted with durability
RubyChao: call tenshi
RubyChao: also probably
Slash: Yes. Call Doctor Tenshi. :D
RubyChao: she's definitely toughing up the next bucket
Jumpropeman: My problem with Courier using the Fat Man in RP isn't that he's lobbing around mini-nukes, its that he can ever justify using the sparse ammo for it >:I you gotta horde that shit man, like Elixirs in Final Fantasy or literally every one-time-acquisition TM in Pokemon games up to the most recent Generations
Bree: Dr. Tenshi arrives on scene, says "welp," throws her hands up
Bree: "THIS ONE'S BEYOND ME FOLKS"
Bree: "that's a lot of knives, I think he's dead, sakuya"
RubyChao: "I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker!" "This is exactly what we need a doctor for." "YEAH WELL NOT THIS DOCTOR"
Bree: "did you kill him, did he insult your cooking"
RubyChao: oh my god
RubyChao: that is so awful and yet so funny
Bree: what is :U
RubyChao: tenshi assuming the knives were from sakuya :V
Slash: Reasons to keep those Air Force Base raiding kids on your side? Missiles and fat men ammo.
Slash: F' freeee, JRM.
Slash: FREEE
Bree: well huge barrages of knives are sakuya's thing
Gooper Blooper: "Behold my weapon, the Fat Man!" "That's... that's Anthony's corpse"
Jumpropeman: XD

---

Harpy: sumireko
Harpy: is my new other favorite touhou
Bree: so many favorite hus
Harpy: please main her in 2016
Harpy: as i wield Yuyus
Harpy: yuyuyuyuyu
Jumpropeman: soon I shall be able to remember her name
Jumpropeman: Sumireko
Jumpropeman: Sumireko
Jumpropeman: Sumireko
Gooper Blooper: It takes time
Jumpropeman: *Sumireko jumps out of the screen and kills me*
Gooper Blooper: Harpy: please main her in 2016
Gooper Blooper: well y'know
RubyChao: at least it's not Shinmyoumaru or Minamitsu
Gooper Blooper: I haven't had any Season 6 newcomer ideas yet
Gooper Blooper: soooo

Friday, November 6, 2015

Chatzy Madness Volume 216: Poop Plot

RubyChao: who wants to know my absolutely terrible voltorb nickname
Bree: me
RubyChao: DIEode
RubyChao: written exactly like that
RubyChao: it's 5spooky
Bree: hahaha

---

U Pig joined the chat
Delcation: its m sheep's final form!

---

Bree: so you possibly maybe know about my insane phobia of bugs, just any kind of bug at all
Bree: especially wasps and bees
Bree: seriously I'm terrified of them beyond all reason
U Pig: I did not
Bree: so I was heading back inside after we went to the grocery store today and I walked through the grass and almost nearly stepped on a bee
Bree: and by that I mean my foot was like a full twelve inches away from that bee but it was there and in existence so normally I'd flip out and hastily retreat
U Pig: Ah
Bree: but I swear to god I stopped and said "oops, sorry bikker"
Bree: and then just went on in
U Pig: Ahahaha
Bree: and then I got inside and realized
Bree: oh my god
Bree: how was I not terrified
Delcation: #Ruined
Bree: is #ruined a substitute for therapy?
Bree: WHO KNEW
U Pig: Well, I didn't see that coming
U Pig: Well, uh, huh
U Pig: that is interesting
Bree: I'd still be terrified if it was flying around me or something, #ruined can't work miracles
Bree: but hey, your dumb bee mutant made the bee silly and that meant I wasn't scared of it
Bree: neat
Bree: I thought you should know :U

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Neo Kobbers: Behind the Scenes

And so my biggest plot yet - and quite probably my biggest plot ever - has come to a close. Tackling the nuts and bolts behind this one is going to be difficult simply due to the sheer size, but I'll give it the old college try. First, I'll review each and every one of the "official 25" Neo Kobbers, going over their creation and also including some backstory notes that give a little more depth to why each of these characters joined the Neo Kobbers (much of this material was never mentioned on the forum, and a lot of it is being made up here!). Then, I'll go over all of the events and talk about them and the cutting room scraps associated with them.

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Chatzy Madness Volume 215: The Unlucky Number Show

Flying Buttresses sits, stern and imposing, the most dignified of gothic architecture.

---

Harpy: i should prolly look at more scenes from BD now
Gooper Blooper: scenes from ​a hat​ bravely default
Harpy: i'd definitely play Whose Line with anybody in RP
Jumpropeman: I would to, provided I get to be Ryan Stiles
Gooper Blooper: it's the game where the plot's made up and the tractor doesn't matter
Harpy: is ven Colin, JRM
iKomodo: Who's Bar Is It, Anyway?
Jumpropeman: Ven is Laura Hall and Linda Taylor
Jumpropeman: you know that guy likes writing songs for his characters :P
Harpy: i'm prolly one of the rotating guests :U
Jumpropeman: you're Kathy Greenwood, because Girl :V
Harpy: kek
iKomodo: Who would I be, I wonder?
Harpy: i imagine you as a Jeff Davis
Harpy: and Del is Brad
Jumpropeman: the real question is
Jumpropeman: who is Drew Carey
Flying Buttresses: But who is Spy
Gooper Blooper: Widow Maker
Gooper Blooper: ...*applies as the answer to both questions*
Jumpropeman: Spy feels the most Colin to me
iKomodo: Hahaha
Cornwind Evil: I am Steve Colbert
Cornwind Evil: Who appeared on the show once and never did again
Cornwind Evil: He was not the right improv fit
Cornwind Evil: Demonstrated when he played the rap game
Cornwind Evil: And instead of doing a rap based on the scenario, he just attempted an improvised rap in general

---

The Timeline Has Been Ruined: All together now
The Timeline Has Been Ruined: POOR JONESY
iKomodo: POOR JONESY
RubyChao: POOR JONESY
Jumpropeman: JOOR PONESY
The Timeline Has Been Ruined: jesnoy

Monday, September 21, 2015

Chatzy Madness Volume 214: 70 Days Behind, But The Tenshiola Buildup Is Still Relevant

RubyChao: spy: go look in srs
Dongs: I'm on mobile but I'll try to fumble over there
Dongs: NO
Dongs: NOT YOU
RubyChao: he's heeeeeeeeere
Dongs: F​UCKING MONOPOLY MAN
Dongs: ARGLEBLARGLE

---

Harpy: mental image time: ​Alex wakes up, Sarah's snoozing next to him
Harpy: ​MANY CUDDLES WERE HAD
Gooper Blooper: That needs to be canon immediately

---

Gooper Blooper: here's something that's always amused me
Gooper Blooper: when JRM uses "fite" as a verb
Gooper Blooper: like, when it's in the narration
Donga: I can't spell fight anymore
Donga: Its only fite
Gooper Blooper: this stuff transcends fighting, it can only be called fiting

---

Donga: End of the year
Donga: Last post of Season 5
Donga: "sunflower is alive"

---

Jumpropeman: "Did you know "...that the air strike fires Christmas shaped white glass shards, most likely a reference to C. S. Lewis' book The chronicles of NanaBatman, where three huskies attempt to kill the main characters with Christmas tree shaped missiles?""
Jumpropeman: "Disguise Kit - "The diguise kit is your first weapon or should i say kit unless u start with your enternal reward but u dont't.""
Jumpropeman: TF2 Wiki's wall of shame is amazing
Gooper Blooper: hire that man for an FYM guest write
Jumpropeman: "Essential Accessories - "But, it is a pity that from a suit coins, as don't fall inMonday Night Combat""
Jumpropeman: "Half-Zatoichi - "The Half Zatoichi is further proof that the Demoman is a time-traveling wizard. Although versions of the blade come in "Genuine" quality, the blade appears to be brand new. Obviously, the Demoman must have acquired it from the past.""

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Chatzy Madness Volume 213: Big Bar Brawl 5 Edition

Del: morgan freeman why
Del: why are you in so many bad movies
BakedKomodo: his career peaked after the Dark Knight trilogy
Lost Tomwhere in Time: I think there comes a point
BakedKomodo: there was only one way to go after that
Lost Tomwhere in Time: in an old actor's life
Lost Tomwhere in Time: where you really just go
Lost Tomwhere in Time: "You know what? I'm Morgan Freeman. Fuck it."
M Sheep: okay, back
BakedKomodo: wb sheep
M Sheep: danke
Lost Tomwhere in Time: I mean, I'll be honest
Lost Tomwhere in Time: if I was Morgan Freeman
Lost Tomwhere in Time: I'd be doing this to troll the crap out of people
Lost Tomwhere in Time: It would be my singular purpose
Lost Tomwhere in Time: I'd deliberately go to the most arbitrary and ridiculous of stores, and purchase items at random
Lost Tomwhere in Time: just so people could hear me ask for these specific items
Lost Tomwhere in Time: I even have a similar plan in mind when I become an author
Fate Intruded: Is it to become Darth Vader?
Lost Tomwhere in Time: I'll have a strong and solid career of well rounded, well paced stories with solid and interesting characters
Lost Tomwhere in Time: and then
Lost Tomwhere in Time: suddenly
Lost Tomwhere in Time: I will start writing erotica
Lost Tomwhere in Time: but not just any erotica
BakedKomodo: Tom pls D:
Lost Tomwhere in Time: epic fantasy erotica
Fate Intruded: That works too. :v
M Sheep: I kind of want to see Morgan Freeman appear in a film
M Sheep: and not say anything
Lost Tomwhere in Time: six books of thoroughly well plotted, well written porn
Fate Intruded: Tom, that's an oxymoron. 8 0
M Sheep: a recurring character who shows up, but never speaks a word the whole thing
Lost Tomwhere in Time: that would be pretty brilliant, Sheep
Lost Tomwhere in Time: I'd never have thought of that
M Sheep: At most, you get a sigh like he's drawing himself up to say something
M Sheep: and then nothing
BakedKomodo: hahaha
M Sheep: so much tension in the audience, just waiting for one character to SAY SOMETHING

---

Bree: so um
Bree: rolling defenses for yonaka in spehss court
Bree: the results
Bree: are hilarious
Bree: that's all I'm sayin
RubyChao: kek
BakedKomodo: kek
Gooper Blooper: Yonaka rolls a 31 for everything except when bree joke rolled for Edea and got a 1 and a tails, Yonaka splattered by chocolate from hundreds of feet away somehow
Bree: lel
The Timeline Has Been Ruined: I hope sean's roll did it
Cornwind Evil: Yonaka splattered with chocolate
Cornwind Evil: It turns out she hates chocolate
Cornwind Evil: Hence making her the most evil villain in kobber history
Gooper Blooper: my gluttons descend upon yonaka like piranha
Harpy: Cian is disappointed with Yonaka for her shit taste in everything
Harpy: "I bet you even like that chocolate-flavored stuff. :I "

Sunday, August 16, 2015

Chatzy Madness Volume 212: We All Know Blade's Going To Die

Aurora: i really don't want mac to win
RubyChao: if blue had gotten in
RubyChao: would that still be a better winner than mac
Aurora: yes, Blue would be better
Aurora: because Mac would be free
Aurora: i just want him to be free from this cheeseburgerless brawl hell

---

Gooper Blooper: >​I'm thirty chatlogs behind in chatzy madness
RubyChao never talks again to slow things down
Del: hahaha

(As of this writing I am now nearly fifty chatlogs behind)

---

Gooper Blooper: I don't even begin to consider "dork" as an insult any more since all the users and characters described as such are great
Draco: I'm pretty sure I'm NOT a dork.
Lying Cat joined the chat
Lying Cat: LYING.
Lying Cat left the chat
Gooper Blooper: sorry draco
Gooper Blooper: it knew
SteelKomodo: lel
Del: u got owned draco
Draco: D:

---

Cornwind Evil: Going into review moe
Gooper Blooper: >​review moe
Gooper Blooper: I hope chatzy-senpai notices me today

---

Cornwind Evil: I actually had a dream about the Big Bar Brawl
Cornwind Evil: But all I remember was looking at a list of placements and remembering where Ash was
Gooper Blooper: did you win
Cornwind Evil: ​He got 9th
Jumpropeman: that's... pretty good!
RubyChao: better than last year
Gooper Blooper: making top ten gets more and more impressive each year since the brawl keeps getting bigger
Gooper Blooper: Wids got 11th in 2011 and it meant she finished in the bottom half
Gooper Blooper: If she placed the same, had she entered this time, it would have looked pretty damn good
RubyChao: reminder: the entirity of BBB2 fits into the top half of BBB5
Jumpropeman: if Ash got 9th, that would be the highest placed Cornwind's ever been
Gooper Blooper: THIS TIME WILL BE DIFFERENT etc

Thursday, August 6, 2015

Chatzy Madness Volume 211: Fat City

Draco: 1. #Mac Tonight
2. #Mac Tonight
3. #Mac Tonight
4. #Mac Tonight
5. #Goomy
RubyChao: *draco is banned from the forum*
Draco: Thank goodness! Freed from Parseeplot at last! ='D

---

RubyChao: this okuu tho
Cornwind Evil: That a new picture?
Cornwind Evil: As in recently done?
iKomodo: :3
Jumpropeman: chao is on the cutting edge of touhou pics
Aurora: uploaded a day ago
Cornwind Evil: Make sure you save that for the wedding
HELL OR HALLELUJAH: hahaha that utsuho pic
HELL OR HALLELUJAH: #Ruined

---

Wulfout 4: Oh hey, VS does sell DDD bras
Wulfout 4: And they're on sale
Wulfout 4: What the hell, why are the A cup bras 70 fucking dollars
Jumpropeman: I found it
Jumpropeman: The Dedede bra
Aurora was timed out
Jumpropeman: Harpy was forced out by its majesty
Aurora joined the chat
Jumpropeman: Harpy was also lured back by its majesty
Indan Chief Cursing Sleep: But she returned to dote upon its glorious majesty-
Indan Chief Cursing Sleep: JRM bested me.

---

M Sheep: Ash is very plot-proactive
M Sheep: He's got to nab them quests
Jumpropeman: he was a very good foci for all of Cornwind's involvement, and he gets involved in the more usual way than someone like Sine who is all crafty like a fox
M Sheep: Crafty like a fox with superweapons

---

HELL OR HALLELUJAH: Hahahah sakuya
HELL OR HALLELUJAH: Taking charge of sean
HELL OR HALLELUJAH: Sean goes "yes, ma'am" on automatic
Bree: and dimitri also says "yes, ma'am" just to make fun of sean

Thursday, July 30, 2015

Chatzy Madness Volume 210: Chao's Books Edition

RubyChao: "I looked at the clock. It still read 7:06, unchanged regardless of the good hour or two I spent in this nightmare. The digital display started to flicker, and to my astonishment, read 6:66. Now I knew. 7:06 is 6 minutes after 6:60, which then makes 6:66."
RubyChao: i like how it has to spell it out
RubyChao: as if we wouldn't get it otherwise
Harpy: there is no such thing as 6:60

---

Gooper Blooper: I love headphones
Gooper Blooper: not as much as DJ Candy though
Harpy: i love mine man, they're the best
RubyChao: headphones are A+
RubyChao: I THINK I LOVE THEM MORE THAN DJ CANDY (yeah i probably don't, kek)
Harpy: also when's the funeral for the headphones :U

---

M Sheep: As amusing as I would find Junko recoiling from the twin pillars of holyness around her, let me try and make Junko act like a well-adjusted person for half a second
M Sheep: JUST HALF A SECOND, JUNKO
M Sheep: >​Sakuya pries Junko off the tile.
M Sheep: I also love this sentence
M Sheep: just by it's use of "pry" instead of some other word
Bree: I mentally pictured it like using a spatula to pry up a dropped pancake from a floor
M Sheep: ahahaha
M Sheep: yess
Bree: except there are no spatulas involved
Bree: but junko manages to resemble that lonely, dropped pancake
Bree: so desolate
Bree: so forgotten
Bree: so inedible

---

M Sheep rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 21
M Sheep: ...
M Sheep just gesticulates at number, speechless
M Sheep as mouth hangs open in a disgusted manner

Cornwind Evil: The tractor giveth and it taketh away and it giveth when oneth leasteth expectedeth
M Sheep: Attwater... eats the heck out of that sundae?
M Sheep: and here i was hoping for Attwater to roll a one and have a sugar based heart attack

---

SteelKomodo: "Now that you've seen Superman lick a mob of strange women into unconsciousness"
SteelKomodo: there's a rare sentence

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Chatzy Madness Volume 209: This Is Our Son, Garbage

RubyChao: so my dream gave me a line that seems like it could have been ripped right out of wulf's old rp
iKomodo: Oh?
RubyChao: "Captain Jaxx Tantra of the USS Murderwolf"
iKomodo: Hahaha

---

WHAT A LOVELY DAY: Oh god mom has discovered siri
WHAT A LOVELY DAY: Fml
RubyChao: rip

---

RubyChao: "brain: why would you buy another game when you already have a plenty of those you haven't played yet
heart: VIDYA GAME"

RubyChao: how true

---

Harpy: to sum up this plot: save monarch by BEATING HIM UP
Gooper Blooper: My second favorite kind of save-the-character plot
Harpy: whats the first
Gooper Blooper: First favorite is when one half of a pairing or pairing-to-be is kidnapped/endangered and the other half leads the charge to rescue them
Gooper Blooper: wuv
iKomodo: wuv
WHAT A LOVELY DAY: Tru wuv
Gooper Blooper: kek
WHAT A LOVELY DAY: Haha
iKomodo: kek

---

(Concerning lots of characters attending the Machina Monarch battle)

Gooper Blooper: I know all about how tough it is to manage characters so I'll rotate like I did for Pestus
Jumpropeman: that's basically what I was thinking
RubyChao: send bulgrave for the final fight
RubyChao: THE ULTIMATE STEAMPUNK CLASH
Gooper Blooper: okay but if I do that Viola is totally still there, just in the background cheering for tenshi
RubyChao: well duh
Gooper Blooper: she's getting a front row seat
RubyChao: viola sits on a keystone made specifically for her
RubyChao: but tenshi only does it because she needs a cheerleader
RubyChao: that's it
Gooper Blooper: that's it, that's all, she just likes having a cheerleader
Gooper Blooper: "oh and since you're a cheerleader, here's a cheerleading outfit to wear while you cheer my name"
Gooper Blooper: "because cheerleaders need cheer outfits, that's all"
RubyChao: how skimpy is it
Bree: viola's cheerleader outfit is black and purple
Gooper Blooper: Not skimpy at all
Gooper Blooper: at first
Gooper Blooper: gotta acclimate her

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Chatzy Madness Volume 208: Jedi Squidward

WHAT A LOVELY DAY: POST DARN YOU
Bree: who me?
Bree: or wulf :U
Saberwulf: I'm workin on it
WHAT A LOVELY DAY: BOTH
WHAT A LOVELY DAY: I NEED PAIRINGS
Bree: same
WHAT A LOVELY DAY: Hnnnnng
Bree: del is a pairing whore
Bree: ​it's okay del, so am I​
Bree: ​we need to start a support group​
Harpy: *cancels Xavier pairings*
Harpy: I'M HELPING :U
Gooper Blooper: >​The AI from Huge Dork Pairing #1 meets the AI from Huge Dork Pairing #2
Gooper Blooper: Honestly I should have seen it coming

---


Gooper Blooper: and now
Gooper Blooper: goopy attempts to play minesweeper
Gooper Blooper: because kek
Harpy: goopy plz D:
Gooper Blooper: *clicks once, half the board clears*
Gooper Blooper: well then
Harpy: ... #accidentalgodclick
Gooper Blooper is blown up
Harpy: nooo

---

Gooper Blooper: "Sean didn't think about much for a while."
Gooper Blooper: just three big things
WHAT A LOVELY DAY: Awwwwww yeeeeeeee
Bree: lel

---

RubyChao: i picked up and decided to reread a 500 page book two days ago
RubyChao: finished it this morning
Gooper Blooper: chao.txt
RubyChao: fun fact: i've mentioned it before
RubyChao: but i literally can't read slow
RubyChao: i don't know how to explain it but i always read things fast
Gooper Blooper: RubyChao: Life In The Fast Lane
RubyChao: if it takes extra time that's rereading

Friday, July 10, 2015

Chatzy Madness Volume 207: Why Am I Watching A Music Video About A Pig

RubyChao: so who wants to know a fun fact about labyrinth of touhou 1
iKomodo: Me
Gooper Blooper: what did those crazy hus do this time
RubyChao: the final boss of the expansion has probably one of the best names for the final boss of a too-hard game
RubyChao: namely, the boss before him is the Serpent of Chaos
RubyChao: but the final boss is just literally named "WINNER"
RubyChao: (spoilers: he tends to do it a lot)
Gooper Blooper: WINNERWINSLOL
iKomodo: Hahaha

---

Bree: despite the name, #Ruined has substantially improved my enjoyment of everything it applies to

---

Draco: Since JRM is overworked, I will not participate in any Fites.
Draco challenges over 9000 people.
Jumpropeman: *cancels Brawl to write all the Draco fites*

---

Jumpropeman: My greatest Brawl fear is not getting a champion to come back next year
Jumpropeman: because you could say the current champion is the strongest of the strong since the champion of last year loses next year, but right now its Mac so you can't say that BUT IT WORKED BEFORE
Draco: Mac will never lose again.

---

Bree: what
Bree: blue is here
Bree: when did that happen
Blue: Now.
Bree: but it didn't even say you entered the chat
Blue: I... don't know.
Jumpropeman: she's been undercover this whole time
Blue: Aparently I'm a ninja.

---

Blue: I went ice skating.
Blue: And fell on my ass.

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Chatzy Madness Volume 206: One Skeleton On Red

(Sean and Sakuya are in the arcade, and Sean has found a Touhou machine)

Zombree: I'm kind of imagining sean at player character selection like "...I can play as you?"
Zombree: sakuya's like "yep"
Zombree: then he picks reimu instead because playing as your girlfriend in a vidya feels dirty

(later)

Zombree rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 21
Zombree: w-what
Zombree: what
Zombree: ​what​
Zombree: ​what​
Zombree: SAKUYA, STOP SUDDENLY BEING GOOD AT VIDEO GAMES
RubyWright: sakuya wins by accident
RubyWright: "I SWEAR I'M NOT USUALLY THIS GOOD"
Del: hahaha
Zombree: also stay tuned for season 6 when sakuya comes back as a bleach-blonde
Zombree: (not really)
Zombree: I decided to have her fret about it totally on a whim because the color looks so... grey in a lot of art
Zombree: sometimes it's more white or blue or white-blue-grey or something
Zombree: but
RubyWright: *checks danbooru on a whim*
RubyWright: *finds blondekuya*
RubyWright: thanks artists
RubyWright: thartists
Zombree: show
Zombree: pls
Del: pls
RubyWright: warning: emphasis on ​TITS
Zombree: boobiez
Lemons joined the chat
Zombree: sakuya has huge... lemons
Del: sakuya dresses as the above, sean constantly stammering the whole time
Zombree: hello lemonven
Zombree: I'm surprised there hasn't been more stammering with the way she ​is​ dressing
Zombree: it's not THAT level of sexy but
Del: he's too polite
Del: and/or shy
Zombree: I predict that if sakuya ever dresses like the above, it's because she's annoyed sean isn't paying enough attention to her tits
Zombree: "WHY ELSE WOULD I OWN THESE SHIRTS"
SteelKomodo: #Boobs
Del: "uh, y-you have w-wonderful boobs and, uh, um, uh, oh god"
Del: "Smooth moves, pal."
Zombree: that was the day sean learned that dimitri's amazing AI powers can't prevent sean from getting awkward boners
Zombree shot
Zombree dies
Zombree (again)

Del: the awkwardest boner
Lemons: ​Oh, oh! Speaking thereof. :U Make it the Boner King that kisses her in random cameo if she does succeed. ​
Zombree: kek
Del: DID SOMEONE SAY
Del: THE BONE KING
Del changed name to SKELETON KING
SKELETON KING: I HAVE RETURNED
Zombree changed name to Risbun
Risbun: sir joining the kobbers chatroom is not advisable
SKELETON KING: TO GAMBLE AWAY MY WEALTH AND GET CRUNK
Risbun: sir you have no wealth you already lost all of it
SKELETON KING: THEN WHY ARE YOU HERE RISBUN
Risbun: because I have to follow you everywhere sire
SteelKomodo: hahaha
SKELETON KING: THAT IS TRUE
SKELETON KING: I DID MAKE THAT ROYAL DECREE
SKELETON KING: WELL I CAN FIX THIS
SKELETON KING: I SHALL GAMBLE YOU AWAY
SKELETON KING: ONE SKELETON ON RED
Risbun: ...that is an excellent plan sire
Risbun: how may I assist
SKELETON KING: (THE PLAN IS THAT I SHALL LOSE YOU IN A GAME OF CHANCE, THEN YOU STEAL THEIR MONEY AND RETURN TO ME)
RubyWright: amazing
SKELETON KING: (IT IS FLAWLESS)
RubyWright: this needs to be in a chatzy madness
Draco: I will buy Risbun for five dollars in quarters and a steak sandwich.
Lemons: Veovis: Excepting, of course, your stage whisper could use some work. :v But yes. Flawless.
SKELETON KING: ACCEPTED, STRANGE DRAGON
Draco: Risbun, go help Donkey Kong clean the gutters or I'll turn you into a bottle of Fanta.

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Rejected Characters Depot III

It's time for another roundup of characters from the Rejected Characters Depot! Some of them graduate to Fite Club appearances, some make cameos or get a mention, and some never leave this page, but all of these characters have one thing in common: they were meant to be a significant regular character in my stable. But not everyone can hit the big time. Here's a look at some characters who missed the cut.

Chatzy Madness Volume 205: Sextuple No

Sore Bree: >​Ven's barpost
Sore Bree: >​"manly muscle"
Sore Bree changed name to Priscilla
Priscilla: YOU BASTARDS I'M NOT HERE YET
Priscilla: this manly hunk of manmeat BETTER BE AROUND WHEN I GET HERE
Van Wyrda: We're trying to lure you out. :U

---

Jumpropeman: I think my sister might have missed the point of a bachelorette party by saving pictures of it on her ipad that she lets her baby daughter use
Inhale: wow

---

Van Wyrda: I was half expecting a fellow like this in Vegas by now, Del mate. : u
SteelKomodo: #Skeletons
SteelKomodo: we were long overdue for that particular hashtag :U
Inhale: ill think about it :P
SteelKomodo: Ostarion in Vegas? :U
Inhale: yesssss
Inhale: lets gamble risbun
RubyChao: ostarion wins a body back ONE BONE AT A TIME
Van Wyrda: Ride your electric scooter around the lobby. Throw bone die at roulette. :v Learn to ride a bike before the other medievals can manage. ​kidnap post​
Inhale: hahaha
Jumpropeman: What is Ostarion's favorite dice games?
Jumpropeman: BONES
Inhale: roll the bones

---

Jumpropeman: in my dream last night Ruby Chao wrote a book about his friend, a shy black-haired deaf girl, and I wanted him to write a book about me so I dressed as the girl and chao was trying to suss out that I was not actually her by doing deafness tests, but I still had my mustache and beard while in disguise. When I finally admitted I was in disguise I told him why and he told me he wrote a book about me already, but in the dream my name was Isaac for no reason so that's why I didn't know the book was about me because I forgot my name was Isaac

---

Jumpropeman: Jasper almost had a companion character named Owen the Owlbear who would carry him around and serve as a bouncing point for angryness

---

Jumpropeman: ​fun fact: Hector's booty game is stronger than Vector's​

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Chatzy Madness Volume 204: Survivor Edition

Jumpropeman: also, I promised this picture quite a while back, but here it is
Jumpropeman: Silence hangs like a curtain:


Brinehammer: Nice
SteelKomodo: hahaha
I Lust for Robot Death: good work jrm
I Lust for Robot Death: you're doing god's work
Gooper Blooper: that's gold
Gooper Blooper: thank you

---

Jumpropeman: who is Dick-King Smith, and I hope that name is not indicative of his work
Gooper Blooper: kek
SteelKomodo: lemme throw some names at you
SteelKomodo: Babe the Sheep Pig
SteelKomodo: the Fox Busters
SteelKomodo: ...also, whoops, i put the hyphen in the wrong place
Jumpropeman: yup, I know Babe alright
SteelKomodo: he wrote the book that film was based on
SteelKomodo: edited, it's meant to be Dick King-Smith
Jumpropeman: that's better. I don't think I'd want to read a book called Babe by a man named Dick-King :V
SteelKomodo: hahaha
SteelKomodo: yeah, we brits are weird
SteelKomodo: Spotted Dick, anyone?
Gooper Blooper: spotted dirk
Gooper Blooper: striped sephine
Jumpropeman: I know there's a fish named Slippery Dick that younger me and my brother chuckled at in an aquarium

---

Draco: BBL. Getting a haircut.
Draco: ​Getting them ALL cut actually.

---

RubyChao: ERRANDS LORD has been vanquished... ​for now
Cornwind Evil: We RPers are good for dealing with villains named Lord
Jumpropeman: except the Lord of the Dance
Jumpropeman: we never did overcome Michael Flatley
Decent for now: ​Yet​. Don't give up hope, JRM.
Gooper Blooper: IT'S NEVER TOO LATE FOR ​CRISP​ KOBBERS

Friday, May 22, 2015

Chatzy Madness Volume 203: I Will Not Fuck With Time

(HK-47 shoots the head off Robot Devil)

Brilliant Kid: I love how everyone's ignoring the droid assassination in the bar
Harpy: alex just cleaned up
Harpy: it happens
Jumpropeman: another day, another decapitation
EH: Spy noticed. But after Mann vs. Machine, he's used to robots getting shot in the face.
RubyChao: ​okuu was too busy making goo-goo eyes at pit
RubyChao: (seriously she probably was taken aback but didn't want to get into another fight just this early)
Draco: Parsee noticed, but her brain is still loading words beyond chocolate milk.
Jumpropeman: nobody liked that devil anyway, bring in the next robot deity and we'll see how that goes
Orothicarn: OKAY
Jumpropeman: NO VEN I KNEW YOU'D DO THIS

---

Harpy: oh shit that reminds me I should probably add THE PRODUCER to the villain list
Gooper Blooper: The Producer is already on the villain list - oh, you mean your profiles :V
Jumpropeman: I want to be a producer, with a big show on broadway~
Harpy: yes
Orothicarn: THE PRODUCER?! ​WE'RE KILLING GEORGE LUCAS?!​
Orothicarn is actually down for this
RubyChao: yes
RubyChao: (no)
Harpy: I know just who to use, too
Gooper Blooper: George Lucas lost his mind and became obsessed with waifish magical girls
Orothicarn: It explains a lot. 8U
Jumpropeman: The Producer and his uncanny ability to use the produce aisle against you
Jumpropeman: "YOU CAN'T EAT ANY OF THIS! HA HA AH!"
Orothicarn: NOT THE TOMATOESSSSSSSSSS

---

Harpy: waiting for Kevvy's reaction to Producer pic
Harpy: ...
Harpy: *Goopy's reaction to Producer pic
Harpy: I CALLED GOOPY KEVVY WHAT THE FUCK
RubyChao: MAGICAL GOOPY
Gooper Blooper: hahahahaha

---

Cornwind Evil: Hold on, Ven is editing his post
Jumpropeman: *commits it to memory just in case*
Jumpropeman: *feasts on possible unintentional spoilers*
Jumpropeman: *dines on the raw product of the mind before its thrown to the dogs known as the censors and editors *
Jumpropeman: *GROWS FAT ON THE SUCCULENT- okay im done*

Monday, May 18, 2015

Chatzy Madness Volume 202: Jarritos, Poderosa Refresco

Bree: in other news I want to tell you guys the brief but dramatic story of Mexican Soda
Bree: are you ready
RubyChao: yes i am
Jumpropeman: tell us of Mexisoda
Bree: right, the Tale of Mexican Soda
Bree: so there's a Mexican brand of soda that I happen to like. it's sold in the "Latin foods" section of the local stores
Bree: I first tried it at Blue's because her mother has dated several Hispanics so naturally they tend to have a lot of Hispanic foods and beverages around the house
Bree: I usually buy two-liter bottles of the fruit punch flavor and it's ​fucking delicious​ and I usually drink it in about a day
Bree: it's just so damn good
Gooper Blooper: What's the soda's name?
Reading review pages: Is it one of the Jarritos, or another kind? -eyes own drink-
Bree: yes, Jarritos
Reading review pages: They're good.
Bree: hell yeah
Reading review pages finishes off his Mandarina
Bree: and it's a rare treat since it costs more than other sodas at the store so I basically inhale it
Gooper Blooper: inhale my soda enragement american
6 HOURS TIL KEVVY: dios mio
Bree: I get fruit punch flavor but we were at the store about three months ago
Bree: (this story is Bree's version of the Ron Paul sign)
Bree: no wait more than three months
Bree: like sometime last year
Gooper Blooper: (oh god)
Bree: december probably
Bree: anyway
Gooper Blooper: (RON PAUL SIGN UPDATE: it's still up)
Jumpropeman: when will they replace it with Rand Paul is the question
Bree: we were there and I asked for some Jarritos but they didn't have any two-liter bottles and I asked my mom "can I get a small bottle, I want to try a new flavor"
Bree: she said sure
Bree: this soda, it only comes in two sizes, at least as far as I can tell
Bree: there's two-liter bottles with normal plastic twist caps like any ordinary bottle of soda
Bree: and then there's the above-pictured 12.5 oz glass bottles with bottlecaps
Bree: so I got a small bottle of one of those in the Lime flavor
Bree: so I take this soda home and the next day I wanna drink it and I go "mom where's the bottle opener?"
Bree: she's like "oh we don't have one"
Bree: I'm like "wat, but I bought this drink with a bottlecap"
Bree: she just "welp"s at me and suggests opening it with the scissors
Gooper Blooper: lel
Bree: my mom: best parent
Jumpropeman: oh lawd
Bree: 100% safe plan
Bree: I try it but I'm a wuss so I don't try too hard because I'm afraid of horrifically murdering myself
Bree: so I give the thing to my mom and I'm like "mom open this pls :<"
Bree: she makes a valiant effort but no dice
Jumpropeman: is Jarrito spanish for "impossible to open"
Bree: next she attempts to pry off the bottlecap with the back end of a hammer
Bree: another fail
Bree: the soda is returned to the fridge
6 HOURS TIL KEVVY: i think it sounds like the spanish tried to condense a dorito in a jar
Bree: the bree drinks something else that day
Gooper Blooper: I'm reminded of that one atari screw
Bree: now we made numerous trips to the store but we never bought a bottlecap opener because ????????????????????????​????????????????????????​???
Bree: mostly because we never seem to have room in the budget for frivolous things like "a bottle opener for that ​one​ soda that's ​still in the fridge​"
Bree: I kept being like "mom? bottle opener?" and she's like "money is tight and they're like four bucks"
Bree: it's not that we're so broke we don't have four dollars, but once we've paid the bills and gotten groceries, we don't have much left and it's usually left unspent as "emergency money"
Bree: i.e., if something important comes up before mom's next paycheck
Bree: aaaaaanyway
Jumpropeman: you should just take that bottle and break it on the counter, pour the glass/drink mixture in a cup and enjoy
Gooper Blooper: yeah it does seem a bit frivolous unless you're gonna buy bottles like that a lot
RubyChao: that's not hardcore enough jrm
RubyChao: you EAT the bottle
RubyChao: soda and all
Bree: today we went to this new thing they did, a Women's Expo which honestly had nothing to do with women but it was just an excuse to walk around and get free stuff
Gooper Blooper: oh god
6 HOURS TIL KEVVY: >​you eat the bottle
6 HOURS TIL KEVVY: oh welp
6 HOURS TIL KEVVY: anyway gluttony.txt
Bree: predictably I went and promptly decided I hated it because it was really fucking crowded and noisy and there was lots of standing in lines which I hate because my fibromyalgia means I'll be exhausted in like ten minutes of standing around
Bree: I basically went to a few booths with Blue and my mom, ate a bunch of free cheese cubes, and then went and sat in the car (nowhere to sit at the expo) for like an hour
Bree: Blue joined me after like half an hour
Bree: the amount of people, crowds, noise, etc. and people being rude was really making Blue super anxious and pissed and stuff so she had to throw in the towel despite wanting all the free shit
Bree: whereas I didn't give a damn about the free shit because it's all pointless free shit like magnets and pens
Bree: like, sure it's free but I just don't really need a magnet or a pen so whatever
Bree: more on the expo later if you want, but anyway
Bree: one of the freebies we did pick up
Bree: was a bottle opener!
Bree: a miniature bottle opener!
Jumpropeman: macgyver a bottle opener out of the pens and magnet
Bree: and it's also a flashlight and a tape measure because WHY NOT
Gooper Blooper: knew it
Bree: no seriously, it's a bottle opener/flashlight/tape measure thingy
iKomodo: Yaaaaaaay
6 HOURS TIL KEVVY: amazing
Bree: so we get home and I'm like "okay mom"
Bree: "​give me the bottle opener​"
Bree: "it's time to do this"
Bree: my mom: "shit I was just playing with it, where'd I put it"
iKomodo: D:
6 HOURS TIL KEVVY: goddamn it
Bree: "MOM EVERYTHING IS SITTING ON YOUR BED HOW DID YOU LOSE IT"
Bree: we search for like three minutes, spoilers it somehow ended up under mom's butt
Gooper Blooper: noooooo
Gooper Blooper: oh okay
6 HOURS TIL KEVVY: oh
6 HOURS TIL KEVVY: ...buttsephine.txt
Gooper Blooper: bottle opener pls, breemom's butt is not a bottle
Jumpropeman: buttle opener
Bree: so I march into the kitchen and grab the soda and attack it with the bottle opener
Bree: there's an audible hiss but the bottlecap does not come off
6 HOURS TIL KEVVY: just imagining bree
Bree: pause
Bree: reattempt
6 HOURS TIL KEVVY: getting into an RPG battle with a bottle
Bree: the edge of the bottlecap bends but the bottlecap doesn't come off
Gooper Blooper: this fucking bottle
6 HOURS TIL KEVVY: boss level bottle
RubyChao: oh my god
Bree: at this point I, predictably, bring it to my mom again because now I'm sure something hideously painful will happen if I keep trying
iKomodo: D:
Bree: I'm a wuss and a coward and my mom opens all the difficult things :U
Bree: so I give it to my mom and for the record my mom doesn't know how to use a goddamn bottle opener because she used it backwards
Bree: but I don't usually use one either so I figured maybe I was wrong and she was right
Jumpropeman: this is painful to read
Bree: anyway she tries, nothing happens
Bree: tries again, nothing happens
Bree: tries again
Bree: ​the bottle opener breaks​
Jumpropeman: Most Frustrating Bottle 2015
Gooper Blooper: I'm waiting for the-there it is
6 HOURS TIL KEVVY: ...
RubyChao: WOW
Bree: I'm like "OH MY GOD THIS CHEAP PIECE OF SHIT"
Bree: she says "well it was free swag"
6 HOURS TIL KEVVY: boss level bottle
Gooper Blooper: no, you already said that, harpy - this is Final Boss Level Bottle
iKomodo: D:
6 HOURS TIL KEVVY: last day of october, everybody has to fucking try to break open this bottle
iKomodo: Wow, this goddamn bottle
Bree: of course it broke, there were hundreds of people there and they had to have enough for all of them so obviously this bottle opener was mass produced plastic garbage
6 HOURS TIL KEVVY: everybody seems to roll ones against it
Bree: but GOD DAMN IT I WANT MY FUCKING SODA
Bree: it's been in the fridge literally for months
Bree: like a solid four months just fucking sitting there because I can't fucking open it
RubyChao: why did i just imagine bree going the nuclear option
Bree: I AM GOING TO DRINK THIS SODA, GOD DAMN YOU
RubyChao: pulls out a goddamn hacksaw
RubyChao: takes it to the bottle's neck
RubyChao: hacksaw breaks
Bree: I ":< :< :< :< :<" at my mom and she carefully reassembles the snapped bottle opener and tries again
Bree: and again, and again
Bree: I'm like "get rid of the plastic bit, just use the metal bottle opener part"
Bree: (which was encased in a plastic handle which is what snapped)
Bree: so she tries once and then twice with that method
Bree: I try to explain she should turn it around because maybe she's using it backwards and she's turning the bottle opener in configurations it was never intended for
Bree: like how do you not understand what I mean when I say backwards, mother
Bree: so then I have to show her
Jumpropeman: an ancient evil has been sealed within Bree's Jarrito bottle and the holy seals are keeping it shut
6 HOURS TIL KEVVY: JRM plz
Bree: and in one last, mighty effort
Bree: the bottle is opened
Bree: AND NOW I'M FUCKING DRINKING IT.
Bree: it's not bad. :U
iKomodo: YISSSSSSSSSS
6 HOURS TIL KEVVY: jesus fuck
Bree: that is the tale of Mexican Soda
iKomodo: hahaha :U
6 HOURS TIL KEVVY: i was tempted to just get you a bottle opener because fcukin
6 HOURS TIL KEVVY: but there was no need
Gooper Blooper: the moral of the story is always buy soda with plastic caps, holy fuck
Gooper Blooper: like why do those metal caps even still exist
6 HOURS TIL KEVVY: but i like those tiny glass bottles of coke
Jumpropeman: what a shaggy dog of a bottle
6 HOURS TIL KEVVY: so some fallout chars can have some form of a currency, goops :U
Gooper Blooper: Atari Screw has nothing on Lime Jarrito

Friday, May 15, 2015

Chatzy Madness Volume 201: He Has No Cereal

iKomodo: Pingases
RubyChao flails and dies from the vulgarity

---

RubyChao: brilliant kid is back
0 Still Errors The Chatzy: WAIT WHAT
RubyChao: look on the forum
0 Still Errors The Chatzy: HOW DID I MISS THIS

---

(GB is playing Pokemon TCG Online)

Gooper Blooper: I'm torn between two fairy decks
Gooper Blooper: one of them is supposed to be really good for a theme deck, but the other one has clefable
Borealis Harpy: the one with syvleon
Gooper Blooper: That's the clefable one :V
Borealis Harpy: take it
Borealis Harpy: ​GET THE CLEFABLE
Borealis Harpy: BE THE SAMMY/KEVVY

(later)

Gooper Blooper: okay so when the Sylveon deck gets rolling it's a beast
Gooper Blooper: Eevee has an ability that lets you automatically evolve it to Sylveon by giving it a Fairy Energy, and Sylveon's attack does 50 and that jumps to 100 if you use it more than once in a row
Gooper Blooper: Clefable doesn't hit very hard but can switch around pogeys to make your opponent have something useless in the active slot and can make itself invincible to Pokemon that do 30 or less a hit
Gooper Blooper: The deck's biggest problem is a bunch of weak grass Pokemon they tossed in, when I'm stuck with bellsprout and shroomish (there aren't even any breloom in this deck) I'm in trouble
Gooper Blooper: oh, and the absolutely useless Slakoth
Gooper Blooper: this has to be one of the shittiest cards I've ever seen
iKomodo: Haha
Gooper Blooper: this fuckin guy
Borealis Harpy: YAWN
Borealis Harpy: *both are asleep*
Borealis Harpy: like, why
Gooper Blooper: because he sucks
Gooper Blooper: and look at that retreat cost
RubyChao: oh my god
Gooper Blooper: I mean everything about the card makes perfect sense but
Gooper Blooper: but it sucks so bad


Friday, May 8, 2015

Chatzy Madness Volume 200: The Best of Chatzy Madness II

Beardwind Beard: Dagnabbit I remember when two people had to be in the same ROOM to trade!
Beardwind Beard: And they needed a CORD!
Gooper Blooper: yeah, it sucked

---

SO MUCH BLOOD: "I hope Hunico has replaced Sin Cara in his everyday life as well as in WWE. Like, the original Sin Cara comes home to find his wife having dinner with Hunico. Every picture of Sin Cara in the house has Hunico heads glued over them."
SO MUCH BLOOD: Internet pls

---

Del is Confuse: "Hostages were being held in the center of the room, and the Riddler gave us the "What has a million eyes but can't see, and a million ears but can't hear?" Frostguy says, "Fuck this." and builds an igloo around the hostages, and NOLAD answers, "ANSWER: A FIELD OF CORN AND POTATOES. DISCOBOT'S TURN. WHO IS A ROBOT AND LOVES TO DANCE?""
Del is Confuse: goon games
Del is Confuse: (NOLAD is a disco robot)
RubyChao: is the answer "NOLAD"
Del is Confuse: yes
Del is Confuse: the riddler refused to answer so Nolad won
SteelKomodo: XD

---

OutgimmickedSpy: NOW WHO WANTS TO DATE SKURVY?
Gooper Blooper: Skurvy X Mirror
Gooper Blooper: it will never lie to him
OutgimmickedSpy: The Mirror Never Lies (But I Lie With It~)
Gooper Blooper: l-lewd
OutgimmickedSpy: No Goops, that's The Table Never Leis
SteelKomodo: XD

---

Daniel Bryan Is A Farm: "With all WWE's terrible luck this week, I reckon Cena dropped dead directly after Raw and Vince is now going to Weekend at Bernie's him."
Harpy: lawdy
SteelKomodo: D:
SteelKomodo: here's hoping not
Gooper Blooper: Control ded cena with a system of wires from the rafters
Gooper Blooper: like how they puppet King Ghidorah's heads

---

M Sheep joined the chat
RubyChao: SHEEP :D
Gooper Blooper: rare sheep appearance
Harpy: sheeeeeeep
Harpy: *holds out arms in a hug* sheeeeep
Harpy: *sinks head in wool* sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee​eeeeeeeeezzzzzzz
Gooper Blooper: is it wise to hug The Sheep
M Sheep: Who has two thumbs, and doesn't ever get what he wants done?
SteelKomodo: Ey sheeeeep
M Sheep: THIS GUY
RubyChao: no but she's gonna do it anyway

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Chatzy Madness Volume 199: Chatzy Pls

This special mini-edition of Chatzy Madness in which every punchline is "x pls" is sponsored by Bree.

Attempting to compile every time anyone said "x pls" would be a Sisyphean task, so instead for this special Chatzy Madness, 30 names - users, characters, etc - have been searched for in my nearly 1000 chatlogs with Windows Search and a sample has been taken.

Let the pleading begin.

---

Harpy: *looks at barchives*
Harpy: *giffany made it*
Gooper Blooper: Made it on the villain list? Of course she did, she kidnapped two regulars
Harpy: the description should have totes been "oh mah gawd murderous girlfriends are just so kawaii desuuuu~"
Gooper Blooper: updated villains list
RubyChao: bwahahaha goops pls
Harpy: oh my god he actually did it
Harpy: thank ye goops
Harpy: thoops
Gooper Blooper: kawaii uguu yandere
Harpy: >​uguu
Harpy: aaaaaaaaaa

---

I Am Del: today begins the redemption of tak-sin apparently
I Am Del: when curnweend arrives
I Am Del: coincidentally, there's a rainbow outside my window
I Am Del: GAY JOKES ARE STILL FUNNY RIGHT GUYS
I Am Del: GUYS
I Am Del: GUYS
I Am Del: guys
I Am Del: :<
SteelKomodo: del pls

---

Cornwind Evil: And now you know why Ash knows so much modern pop culture
iKomodo: WELP
Jumpropeman: that really was bugging me to be honest so I'm glad to know the full skinny now
Cornwind Evil: Until he was 16, our Earth was his
Cornwind Evil: Xaxargas came out in 2020
Banjo KazooBree: Xaxargas: "Mom...Dad...I'm gay."
Banjo KazooBree: "I'M DATING JEWEL MAN AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME"
iKomodo: Bree pls
iKomodo: BREE PLS
Banjo KazooBree pls
Del: sk's pls fall on deaf ears

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Chatzy Madness Volume 198: The Whitest of Them All

Hruppyp-n-ghi: Here we go; the classic ZFRP argument. :v You know it's true.
Hruppyp-n-ghi: Though to be fair, most of the ones there -are- buxom. :U We need a Silence figure instead. Draco, have you an Edit handy? :v
Aurora Harpy: well when all your enemies are dead regardless of curves or stength... :U
Hruppyp-n-ghi laughs wickedly at harps' assertion and griiiiiiiiiiiiins until Del bans him
RubyChao: on one side, suho and sephine
RubyChao: on the other side, yuugi and silence :V
Aurora Harpy: in the middle: Kevvy
RubyChao: *kevvy and tenshi
Tableter: Kenshi and tevvy
Gooper Blooper: apparently the actual best body is a tall one - the other two tower over the poor girl in the middle
Hruppyp-n-ghi: Hehhehhh.

---

☯✞follow for more soft goop✞☯ joined the chat
RubyChao follows

Draco: We don't want'cher "soft goop" around here, bub. BI

---

Seth Rollins Wearing Pantyhose joined the chat
Gooper Blooper: Occasionally CW's username reflects not what Seth Rollins is doing, but what Cornwind himself is doing. I doubt this is one of those times.
Hruppyp-n-ghi: Nope. CW's reflecting Daredevil wearing panty hose.
Seth Rollins Wearing Pantyhose: See? Pantyhose
Seth Rollins Wearing Pantyhose: Okay so it's an appropriation of this costume
Seth Rollins Wearing Pantyhose: But it still looks like pantyhose to me on some level
Gooper Blooper: I like it. It's like an upside-down ninja.
Draco: Was he burned with acid? "No, I just find masks to be terribly comfortable. I think they'll be all the rage in the future."
Gooper Blooper: Maybe it ​is​ pantyhose, but characters can turn weird clothing choices into gold
Gooper Blooper: see also: Solid Snake in general, Ramza's assless chaps
iKomodo: Hahaha
Draco: So...yeah...lookin' for Buttercup, Daredevil? You gonna go fight Prince Humperdink?
Aurora Harpy: assless chaps <3
Gooper Blooper: workin it
Draco: Sarah starts throwing dollar bills.
Gooper Blooper: she just slides the money into the straps
iKomodo: XD
Aurora Harpy: the ass no one thought they needed
iKomodo: Oh god
iKomodo: now I have a mental image of Dirk noticing it
iKomodo: and having a mental struggle with himself
iKomodo: "dat butt... IT'S NOT JO! yet dat butt..."
Gooper Blooper: ​Josephine staring as well
Tableter: This looks like my cue to go sleep!
Tableter: :P
Gooper Blooper: kek

Saturday, April 25, 2015

Chatzy Madness Volume 197: Which Witch Is Which

Aurora Borealis: A dead giant would be good for studying anatomy and weak point, a live one good for behavior
Aurora Borealis: Under lock and chain, due to OH GOD WHAT IF IT GETS MAD AND PUNCHES ME
The things: PAAwUUNCH
SteelKomodo: lel
The things: One of these days, Alice, one of these days- wham, pow, straight through the moon-
Naw. CW doesn't like punchin' ladies. :x It's gentlemanly of him. He may refrain as he likes.
:f I like lady warriors too much not to punch lady warriors. It's its own variant of disrespect in my book. :S Eh.
The things: Joan of Arcadia gets no street cred if there isn't legitimately someone defeated, I suppose the logic is. -shrug- They can achieve. They do achieve. So I shan't impede them from achieving by failing to be an impediment in the way until such time as they overcome and vanquish me to the yield or the death, on my troth as knight?
The things is of muddled coffeeless mind
SteelKomodo: mmhm
Blue was timed out
The things: Mind you; I am very much against hitting ladies that cannot or will not hit back. :/ That's unequal. Just as I'm all for watching Silence trounce guys that think they can punch as hard as her. >​) It would be just as bad, though, if Silence attacked a civvy guy or goyl that wouldn't fight back.
That's the aspect I tend to focus on, not the gender mannerism- NO
BLUE
WHY
Aurora Borealis: Aurora will zap anyone who is gonna hurt her or her friends. Or her books :|
Aurora Borealis: No touchy the bookies without permission, thank ye
The things: But boooks
-watches nerdy girls of all stripes and sizes gravitate towards them, a certain Touhou in the lead-
Aurora Borealis: "Ask first! This is a library, not a book fair or a giveaway! :|"

---

RubyChao: who wants
RubyChao: a horror comiiiiic *jazzhands*
Del: meeee
Aurora Borealis: Nnnnooo
RubyChao: enjoy

---

Gooper Blooper: I saw your blog harpy
Gooper Blooper: it was cure
Gooper Blooper: *cute
Boreas: Goopy has seen the blog
Boreas: IT WAS CURE
Boreas: I HAVE CURED GOOPY'S ILLS
Boreas: WITH A BLOGPOST
Gooper Blooper: the only way to make a blog cure is if white mages are in it
Boreas: *stuffs Boreas in a white mage outfit*

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Chatzy Madness Volume 196: Fred Must Paint the Wall

(Plans to play together in World of Warcraft)

Spy Must PAINT THE WALL: I just had the stupidest idea of us all just being Death Knights named after Kongs. The DK Krew
SteelKomodo: hahaha
Spy Must PAINT THE WALL: Just go into dungeons
Spy Must PAINT THE WALL: And post the lyrics as we appear in formation
SteelKomodo: Del is obviously Lanky
Spy Must PAINT THE WALL: "SO WE"RE FINALLY HERE" "PERFORMING FOR YOU" "IF YOU KNOW THE WORDS YOU CAN JOIN IN TOO" "dear lord there's 3 of them"
SteelKomodo: no style, no grace, but a funny face
Del: for sure
Bree: only if I can be candy kong
Bree: hey bb check out my hawt apetits
Bree: I'm the sexiest monkey you'll ever lay eyes on
Bree: and I'm totally a monkey

---


Spy Must PAINT THE WALL: This will be my chatzy background every day
Spy Must PAINT THE WALL: On a daily basis I will be greeted by Fred Flintstone's smiling face, the bright blue skies, and a wall that needs to be painted
Spy Must PAINT THE WALL: The game was released in 1991, Fred
SteelKomodo: hahaha
Spy Must PAINT THE WALL: Its been 25 years
Spy Must PAINT THE WALL: And you're still painting that wall
Spy Must PAINT THE WALL: Why are you only one quarter of the way done
Spy Must PAINT THE WALL: How are you still smiling
Spy Must PAINT THE WALL: Is this the second coat? Or maybe the hundreth?
Spy Must PAINT THE WALL: Your family hasn't seen you in years, Fred. You're still just painting that wall
Spy Must PAINT THE WALL: They miss you


Spy Must PAINT THE WALL: Fred no put the bowling ball down
Spy Must PAINT THE WALL: He's your friend, he deserves better than this
Spy Must PAINT THE WALL: Even if he steals your cereal on a daily basis

(later)

Spy Must PAINT THE WALL was timed out
iKomodo: There goes spy
Gooper Blooper: he has to GET TO THE BOWLING ALLEY BEFORE IT CLOSES
iKomodo: XD

Friday, April 17, 2015

The City of Second Chances

-MANHATTAN, NEW YORK-
-TRIDENLAND-

"I can't believe we're shutting down Tridenland..." Sarah moped.

"Oh, don't be so melodramatic, dear!" Celestia said, waving a hand dismissively. "We just can't be in two places at once! It will still be open on a limited basis, just as more of a family fun stop than a full amusement park."

It was true - caught between either leaving the park for yet another summer or ignoring her friends at the King of Beasts, Celestia, ever the businesswoman, had decided to take a third option and make Tridenland into a franchise, with a new location opening in Las Vegas. Manhattan's Tridenland would remain open, but it was not as popular as it was in its' early years, perhaps due to the memories of Zoofights fading and becoming less fresh. Now it would be a smaller, more laid-back experience, with many of the biggest rides being either decommissioned or moved to the new location.

Competing for dollars in Las Vegas was risky, to be sure, but the possible payoff was massive. Celestia mused over this fact as she watched a team of WarMechs led by Skeiron, Mecha-Sarah, and Buzzsaw dismantle a roller coaster for parts while Isotope surveyed the scene and acted as a lookout. She laughed quietly to herself. A big risk for a big payout... that definitely sounded like Vegas, all right.

Celestia looked away from the demolition and took a look at her daughter. Sarah had always had a bit of a healthy, cheery glow about her when happy, but now she seemed to be like that all the time, even when outwardly she could be glum, or bored, or even asleep. And Celestia knew why.

When Alex had popped the question, Sarah's initial quiet response had, predictably, given way to her old giddy excitement, and she'd spent the entire next day vibrating with joy as she told and retold the events of the day before to her family and many of her friends. That initial rush had faded, but a storm of emotions continued to swarm through the little white mage long after the fact.

The wedding was planned for June, currently, and there was still much to be done, but Celestia had been happy to take care of much of the minutiae, and the family as a whole wasn't jonesing for a massive, extravagant affair with dozens of third parties to pay thousands to - especially since Celestia herself could do the catering. No, this would be a simple wedding to plan, if not still fancy in person.

After all, a wedding in the glitziest place on the planet between two people who really, really, REALLY enjoyed sweets wasn't exactly going to be a muted, quiet one.

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Chatzy Madness Volume 195: Utsuho Goes Fishing

Harpy: "The spider goat is purely a creation of science. Outwardly it’s no different from your typical goat. However, the spider goat does have spider DNA in it. That’s right the spider goat creates milk that contains golden orb spider silk.
Scientists refine the spider goat’s milk and then the extracted silk is used to make highly resistant products such as fishing line wire, body armor, surgical sutures and parachutes. It is located in Utah State University. This farm is actually part of a larger research facility at USU that focuses on animal husbandry and genetics."

Harpy: david step your game up
Sabercrow: David only spins silk when it's comedically appropriate
SteelKomodo: what
Del: hahaha
Harpy: like water to wine, david turns milk to silk
Sabercrow: He can also do the wine thing, and combined they're great at parties
Harpy: his kids complain when its obvious their cereal bowls are filled with threads

---

RubyChao: the cake from mario 64 ds
RubyChao: but WITH TOUHOUS
RubyChao: (nah it's prob. not on purpose but it sure does remind me of that)
ivel: at least it's not the cake from Mario RPG
Harpy: Bundt?
ivel: mhm
Harpy: don't give me ideas to have him be a boss in RP, ivel
Harpy: he will lose
Harpy: he will lose ​horribly
ivel: please do the thing
Harpy: it's a OHKO if sarah's there
Harpy: unless the cake gets bigger somehow to make it more of a pain to actually eat it
Harpy: still a OHKO if sarah's there
Harpy: unless its
Harpy: A SPICY CAKE
iKomodo: The thing?
Harpy: he wants me to RP a goddamn cake as a villain
Harpy: :U
Gooper Blooper: eat the cake, sarah
Harpy: gooper no
iKomodo: Hahaha
Harpy: the cake is eviler and bigger than ever
Harpy: SAMMY'S TRAPPED IN THERE
Its Not Me: rip cake
Gooper Blooper: >​implying sammy won't be able to eat her way out
iKomodo: rip in peace
Harpy: "FUCK I JUST ATE AT THE CHICKEN WING PLACE NOW YOU GOTTA DO THIS YOU FUCKIN SUCK"
Harpy: Bundt will prolly be a BBP thing, since he wouldn't really fit in any of my other plots :U
Harpy: well.. it
iKomodo: Koopa puts up an advertisement. "Eat at Scoopa Koopa's... then try dessert at the Bonus Boss Pavilion with a free voucher! And by 'free', I mean with anything over $15."
RubyChao: CASSANDRA SUMMONS BUNDT TO TRY AND DEFEAT GLUTTONY WITH A CAKE SO BIG
RubyChao: EVEN HE CAN'T EAT IT
Harpy: Gluttony easily wins
Harpy: you can't stop him from eating giant cakes no matter how big it may be

Sunday, April 12, 2015

Prison Break

-MANHATTAN, NEW YORK-

"This is officer CX-1 DA300. I need backup! Repeat, I need backup!" Browny said urgently, clutching his communicator like a lifeline. "Someone! ANYONE!"

Around the corner, it was utter chaos. Rioting prisoners overturned tables, ripped signs off of walls, and set fire to anything flammable. A refrigerator, its' door ripped off, was thrown and slid down the hall past Browny, who wisely made a tactical retreat.

As Browny advanced towards a quiet-looking hallway, he was forced to change direction again when he heard the crackling of electricity - and the shouts from two security guards to someone to "hold fire". But they didn't hold fire, instead unleashing a loud crack of lightning, electrocuting the men. As Browny retreated again, he heard the attacker laugh, delighted.

Another route... this one also trouble. Browny shrunk back as he saw two shadows cast by people around the corner. One, judging from what appeared to be a hat, was an officer. The other...


"Go on, son. Just try it." the figure drawled.

The officer fired his gun.

The other man didn't even flinch. He laughed, and there was a sudden movement, followed by the sound of the officer collapsing.

Browny once more ducked away, finally finding a safe spot inside a supply room.

"I don't understand..." Browny thought to himself. "Who are these people? We don't have anyone with those powers in this prison... that's what the kobbers are for. But the kobbers aren't here. Where did they come from? Who could they-"

It was then that Browny figured it out. There was only one prisoner in this compound that could possibly warrant this magnitude of an escape. Only one prisoner that could have these kind of connections. One that he'd gotten the kobbers' help dealing with, two and a half years ago...

 And then Browny's luck ran out, when a man opened the door, saw him, and charged. The last thing Browny saw before shutting down was a swinging foot wreathed in flames.

-MANHATTAN, NEW YORK-
-BROWNY'S OFFICE-
-TWO DAYS LATER-

"I thought you had that bastard under lock and key!"

"We did." Browny sighed. "Unfortunately, that prison break was of a magnitude higher than anything we've seen since the dragon attack in November 2012. We weren't prepared, at all. And to no one's surprise, when we finally got everything under control, he was among the unaccounted for."

Electra groaned, hand on her forehead. "Ugh... So what are you doing sitting in your office? Shouldn't you be tracking him down?"

"I've been forebade to."

"What?!"

"There is solid evidence that they escaped to Las Vegas, Nevada. However, the police force there has prohibited outside investigation into the case, and is claiming they will handle it. If you want my opinion, I think a large portion of them have been bought off or are being suppressed. I hear my former coworker Theodore is there, and there's no way he would fall to corruption, but his division doesn't seem equipped for this level of threat. Hopefully he doesn't run into trouble.

Now, I called you here for more than to just share the news. I can't abandon my responsibilities here, so it's up to you."

"Me? Why me?"

"You knew him better than anyone else in this city, and you have a connection to the kobbers. You're the perfect woman for the job."

"Heh... All right, Browny, I'll bite."


"This time, though... don't expect to make an arrest."

Saturday, April 11, 2015

Chatzy Madness Volume 194: Kobberitis

Molasses Sheep: I'm the worst at actually playing vieogames the way you are supposed to play them
Molasses Sheep: Team composition? But I like this one's design and this one's dialog!
RubyChao: hahahaha
Molasses Sheep: And then I force the team to fit
RubyChao: i can just imagine you picking your touhous that way, sheep
Molasses Sheep: this is literally how I play all my RPGs
Molasses Sheep: I will literally go out and grind and over level instead of just swap my dang team members
Molasses Sheep: BECAUSE WHAT IF I MISS GOOD DIALOG FROM *insert character here*
Molasses Sheep: But, this also why all my Pokemon teams are awful
Molasses Sheep: I generally hold on to like the ten first guys I catch in the game
Molasses Sheep: and that's just my team
Molasses Sheep: I HOPE YOU LIKE ZIGZAGOONS AND PELLIPERS
Molasses Sheep: I just slam the square into the round hole until something breaks

---

Gooper Blooper: oh, spy, you'll be glad to know
Gooper Blooper: when working on chatzy madness this afternoon I came across Del posting a text-to-speech website people played with for a bit
Gooper Blooper: I made one of the voices do a reading of Kanye's Dead Zone
Spynosaurus: Goops
Spynosaurus: You're the best
iKomodo: Oh lawd
iKomodo: "inhale my dong enragement rapper"
Gooper Blooper: the character limit was 250 so it had to be done in two dozen parts but I did it anyway
Spynosaurus: Holy shit Goops xD
RubyChao: how was it
Gooper Blooper: not bad
Gooper Blooper: pretty good dramatic pause on "kanye west was at my door"
Gooper Blooper: when "rubychao" was spelled correctly, he actually pronounced it right (though I still mentally say "ruby kay-oh"
Gooper Blooper: I was really thrown for a loop when I heard it pronounced "chow" ingame
Gooper Blooper: like, you don't call the other guy "chows zero" so what's the deal
RubyChao: goops has been pronouncing it wrong for how long now
RubyChao: goops pls
Gooper Blooper: since I got Sonic Adventure 2 Battle
Gooper Blooper: so I think about thirteen years now
iKomodo: Man, goops
RubyChao: damn
iKomodo: i have to admit, I feel good now knowing my pronunciation of Chao was correct all along
iKomodo: ...but wait, didn't SA2 have the Chao Garden?
RubyChao: it did
RubyChao: but it was never spoken in-game
Gooper Blooper: yeah it did
iKomodo: ah
iKomodo: what about Omochao?
iKomodo: did he speak?
Gooper Blooper: He did, and he said his name I think
RubyChao: yeah but i bet goops ignored him :V
Gooper Blooper: but I just somehow missed it
iKomodo: ...you shoulda twigged then :U
Gooper Blooper: It was later, around Sonic Heroes or something, where he said "omochow" and I was like "wait what did you just say"
Gooper Blooper: I remember I used to have a second "I know this is wrong but I can't stop pronouncing it" problem
Gooper Blooper: For whatever reason, in the early-mid 2000s I pronunced mage as "modge". I have no idea why. If I was pulling directly from "magic" (like how I got kay-oh from "chaos") I would have said "madge" but I didn't
RubyChao: RED MODGE
RubyChao: WHITE MODGE
RubyChao: BLACK MODGE
Gooper Blooper: then I just somehow managed to switch to "mayge"
Gooper Blooper: yes, chao
Gooper Blooper: exactly
RubyChao: i think i have a couple things i always pronounce wrong
RubyChao: a couple 2hu names
Gooper Blooper: Goopsmom has told me that I'm historically bad at pronouncing
Gooper Blooper: This is because I learned words by reading them, not by hearing them spoken or sounded in a dictionary
Spynosaurus: Well ah pronounce it MAGLE
Spynosaurus: . . . I botched the JBL nooo

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Chatzy Madness Volume 193: Five Nights At Friendlies

ivel: I just got Chao in a phone app
ivel: "Giant Hero Chao"
RubyChao punches a kaiju

---

RubyChao: bbl in like
RubyChao: ten hours
RubyChao: ...*five hours
RubyChao: not ten hours
RubyChao: i'm not coming back at 4 am

---

Gooper Blooper: goopschars don't do drugs
Draco: BREAK NEWS: Sarah arrested for using a performance-enhancing spell to win the martial arts tournament.
Cornwind Evil: Sarah knows martial arts?
Draco: She knows sumo? =V

---

Spy Ready To Party joined the chat
Spy With Legs Showing joined the chat
Spy With Legs Showing: HE
Spy Ready To Party: HAS
Spy With Legs Showing: NO
Spy Ready To Party: STYLE
Spy With Legs Showing: HE
Spy Ready To Party: HAS
Spy With Legs Showing: NO
Spy Ready To Party: GRACE
Spy With Legs Showing: THIS
Spy Ready To Party: SPY
Spy With Legs Showing: IS
Spy Ready To Party: A
Spy With Legs Showing: CHEATYFACE

---

Harpy: [2:02:14 PM] Ivelchild: Longtime RP partner problems
Us: Okay, this time we're going to develop this relationship slowly. Give it some good, tense buildup.
Us: (two days later)
Us:Well, I guess they're married now.


Friday, April 3, 2015

Chatzy Madness Volume 192: The Lonely Ditto

Draco: Conrad and Ellie are settling in for a 5-day anime marathon, but his mother and some of her friends unexpectedly drop in to visit. He must manipulate the doors and monitor security cameras to keep them from getting in and showing Ellie his baby pictures.
SteelKomodo: hahaha
Worlds Shortest Spy: Oh god no xD
Five Nights at Jonesyhaus: perfect
Draco: He has to hold them off until 6 PM, at which point Gezora calls Happy Hour and they withdraw.
Cornwind Evil: I can't see Jonesy leaving if she encountered a closed door
Five Nights at Jonesyhaus: she'd see it as a challenge
Five Nights at Jonesyhaus: or shout through it
Five Nights at Jonesyhaus: "ARE YOU TWO WATCHING CARTOON PORN AGAIN"
Gooper Blooper: 5 Nights At Celestia's: As Celestia, keep your daughters from getting into your bakery storeroom and eating all your baked goods.
RubyChao: the sixth night adds the surprise challenge by upgrading it to your daughters and husband
RubyChao: the seventh night, they all bring their friends
Gooper Blooper: Alex and Dirk may appear as well
RubyChao: no one has ever beaten the seventh night
SteelKomodo: lolz
SteelKomodo: Dirk is just there for the butts
Gooper Blooper: The seventh night looks less like Five Nights At Freddy's and more like a high level in Defend Your Castle
Harpy: top lel

---

Something Something Dark Side: Hello, Ruby.
Something Something Dark Side: Hello, Harps.
Something Something Dark Side: Hello, Draco, Goops, CW, Ven.
Something Something Dark Side: Ignore that last one. I'm still waking up.

---

RubyChao: back
RubyChao: with chocolate
Harpy: *CHOCOLATE INTENSIFIES*
Gooper Blooper: what kind of chocolate
RubyChao: hershey's bar
RubyChao: ordinary chocolate
RubyChao: plain but serviceable
Gooper Blooper: the old guard standby of chocolate
RubyChao: well
RubyChao: i had chocolate
Gooper Blooper: goddamn
Gooper Blooper: that was fast
RubyChao: i was hungry
Harpy: i still like the idea of a 2P hero that is overshadowed by-
Harpy: ruby ate that chocolate bar
Gooper Blooper: one of us
Harpy: AT SARAH SPEED
Gooper Blooper: chao
RubyChao: looks about right

Sunday, March 29, 2015

Chatzy Madness Volume 191: Go Away, Letty

RubyChao: i had a horrible dream last night
RubyChao: where it was STILL SNOWING
SteelKomodo: ey rc- D:
RubyChao: (it wasn't that bad but oh god if i woke up and it was snowing all over again)
Kogasa: fak u snow

(later)

RubyChao: ...i opened the window
RubyChao: aaaand it seems to be snowing
SteelKomodo: D:
SteelKomodo: DDDD:
RubyChao: well apparently my dream wasn't too far off the mark

---

Gooper Blooper: Yesterday afternoon I was using my tablet, and it's a Kindle Fire so Amazon puts ads on the wakeup screen
Gooper Blooper: Yesterday the Amazon Store's ~Free App of the Day~ was none other than Five Nights At Freddy's 2. Despite not downloading the game, looking up anything about the game, or doing anything else Freddy-related at all, I wound up having a FNAF-themed nightmare. Apparently his ugly mug on the ad was all it took, which is bizarre
Gooper Blooper: And the dream wasn't exactly accurate, either
RubyChao: well, it is a horror game! :V
Gooper Blooper: Instead, I was with Goopsbro in a house similar to the one I used to live in before I moved in 2006 (this house was the one I grew up in and is permanently burned into my mental images of house interiors)
SteelKomodo: D:
Gooper Blooper: So it was the two of us in a familiar yet unfamiliar house, and we were in a room that was like his room in said house but not really
SteelKomodo: oh god not freddy
SteelKomodo: Goops was not Ready for Freddy
Gooper Blooper: And we had to watch out for freddyesque toys and the like that were hiding around the house
RubyChao: sk pls
Gooper Blooper: Like they weren't Freddy, but they were like something you'd see in a spinoff, they had a similar "art style"
RubyChao: my original character Bleddy
Gooper Blooper: freddy whiterock
SteelKomodo: oh god
Gooper Blooper: So we're on a bed in the room, and it's well-lit in the room but nighttime if you looked out the window, and a Not-Freddy Toy falls from a shelf above the bed into my lap
SteelKomodo: Not Freddy pls
Gooper Blooper: And at first it doesn't do anything but being out in the open makes it start to "wake up". I shove it into a bucket and clap a lid over it, but the toy starts vibrating violently and is about to break out, and me and goopsbro just kind of take it in stride as if it's an actual video game
Gooper Blooper: So we're just like "fuck, we have to start over" and Goopsbro gets up off the bed and hits the light switch, which works as a reset button and ends the "scene"
RubyChao: well that's one way to solve the problem, lel
SteelKomodo: lel
Gooper Blooper: Next thing I remember I'm in the same building, but alone this time, fumbling through a darkened room towards a lamp
Gooper Blooper: I have a very strong feeling I'm being watched, but I get to the lamp, turn it on, and fumble around a bit more without incident, though it feels like there's more Not Freddies hanging around the corners (btw, I think the initial Not Freddy was rabbitlike, like a cartoon easter bunny or Buster from Tiny Toons but with the freddy eyes))
SteelKomodo: oh god
SteelKomodo: not-bonnie pls
RubyChao: 2spooky
Gooper Blooper: >​go to amazon front page
Gooper Blooper: "new for you: five nights at freddy's 3"
Gooper Blooper: amazon, now is not the time
RubyChao: get ready for freddy
SteelKomodo: AMAZON STAHP