Wednesday, January 1, 2020

Chatzy Madness Volume 355: Shimmer Contacts God and Patchouli Backfills Her Own Existence

Jumpropeman: is it possible
Jumpropeman: to hate chewbacca
Jumpropeman left the chat 19 hours ago
Kong Squad joined the chat 18 hours ago

Kong Squad: No
Kong Squad: It's not possible to hate Chewbacca
Brinehammer joined the chat 16 hours ago
Brinehammer: I hate Chewbacca 😈
Working Del joined the chat 10 hours ago
Working Del: can't believe the brine heel turn
Working Del left the chat 10 hours ago
Jumpropeman joined the chat 3 hours ago
Jumpropeman: brine why

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MobileDraco: "Jumpropeman: anyone? anyone? Pressure Cooker? anyone?" <- Did we ever get these thoughts?
Jumpropeman: I never did play Pressure Cooker after that
Jumpropeman: perhaps it was too much
Jumpropeman: pressure
MobileDraco: You can play it for me next month.
Jumpropeman: finally, the person who wants to hear about pressure cooker!
MobileDraco: I so do. ;o;
Jumpropeman: I don't like the look of that pig on the right
Jumpropeman: i go to look up pressure cooker again and keep finding atari's gold mine of oddities

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Jumpropeman: what if for christmas
Jumpropeman: I gave Sheep
Martian Sheep: No
Jumpropeman: rifftrax Rollergator
Martian Sheep: Huh
Jumpropeman: have I baffled you with this reasonable idea
Martian Sheep: I'm thoroughly baffled.
Tori: What if
Tori: girls

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Tori: gonna test out this weighted blanket-
Tori: WHERE THE FUCK IS THIS JINGLING COMING FROM
Martian Sheep: LOOK OUT HARPY
Tori: SANTA ITS NOT FUCKING CHRISTMAS YET
Martian Sheep: IT'S THE ICE CREAM BUNNY
Tori: cease
Martian Sheep: HE'S COMING FOR YOU
Tori: i already ate ice cream you piece of crap
Draco: ALMOST CHRISTMAS MEANS IT WASN'T CHRISTMAS

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Martian Sheep: God, I'm just
Martian Sheep: silent laughter tears is my response to the absolute madness that is the end of this second short
Martian Sheep: That they used a bunch of the last short's ending footage in this one
Martian Sheep: has turned this into a surreal time loop
Martian Sheep: Same shots of an elf trying to put a head on a doll
Martian Sheep: and failing
Martian Sheep: same shots of the skunk sanding something down
Martian Sheep: Same militaristic march music
Martian Sheep: same footage of an elf lifting up a rifle and cocking it
Tori: Uh
Tori: im concerned now
Tori: What is happening
Martian Sheep: Christmas, Harpy
Martian Sheep: Christmas is happening.
Sporp: What the heck
Tori: This sounds more sinister

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RubyChao: my nintendo switch wishlist is currently three games
RubyChao: who wants to know what it is :V
Monday Sheep: Is it: F-Zero, Touhou, Metroid?
RubyChao: f-zero, ace attorney, metroid
RubyChao: i am a simple man
RubyChao: i did have bravely on there
RubyChao: but then we got bravely announced!
RubyChao: so that was neat
Monday Sheep: Very neat
Monday Sheep has never played it
RubyChao: you should
RubyChao: see why it gets into rp so much
Jumpropeman: you do have the hardware for it now
Monday Sheep: It's for the Wii, right
RubyChao: what about you, sheep?
Monday Sheep: I only run on the Apple Pippin.
Monday Sheep: Oh, you meant what I want to see on the Switch!
RubyChao: indeed!
RubyChao: i can't monopolize all wishlisting :V
Monday Sheep: hmm
Monday Sheep: Paper Mario is probably at the top of the list
Monday Sheep: Metal Gear
RubyChao: METAL GEAR!?
Monday Sheep: Night in the Woods was on Switch, so how about a sequel on this list of ridiculous asks?
Jumpropeman: Day in the Forest
RubyChao: Twilight in the Jungle
Monday Sheep: Donut County sequel?
Monday Sheep: Donut Tri-State Area
Monday Sheep literally looked at Steam right now to remember what I actually like
Jumpropeman: make it Donut Country
Jumpropeman: the name I kept calling it by mistake
Monday Sheep: Can I just ask for Kentucky Route Zero to release the last chapter of their game already?
Jumpropeman: wow
Jumpropeman: they seriously aren't done?
Monday Sheep: Furthermore, a blatantly impossible ask, I would love to see a completed D4: Dark Dreams Don't Die
RubyChao: "Initial release date: January 7, 2013"
RubyChao: Wew.
Jumpropeman: my wishlist: Bug Fables 2. I'M READY FOR THE NEXT ONE ALREADY, CHOP CHOP

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RubyChao: so goops
RubyChao: if odyssey ever has a child
RubyChao: will they be named
RubyChao: Odyssey2
Gooper Blooper: Odyssey II: Son Of Odyssey

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Tori: *police sirens over cold weather*
Jumpropeman: you commited poke-crimes harpy
Jumpropeman: no one is meant to have a maractus that powerful

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(JRM gives Harpy a tin of Pokemon cards for Christmas)

Jumpropeman: i have no idea if those are recent packs but you like zoroark at least :V
Tori: these are older packs
Tori: but i don't mind 'em
Jumpropeman: im like a grandma trying her best
Jumpropeman: "you like those pokey men right?"
Tori: burning shadows: steel energy, seviper, sophocles, RIBOMBEE
Jumpropeman: my mind briefly processed sophocles as a pokemon
Gooper Blooper: wild SOPHOCLES appeared
Jumpropeman: sophocles does kinda look like a shroomish
Jumpropeman: https://i.imgur.com/XFqHtXEg.jpg
Draco: MYTH CONFIRMED

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Tori: *immediately puts dinos on desktop, one barely clings on while a raptor looks like he's swimming upside down'
Tori: "that sorta works until it doesn't"
Tori: ivel fuggin blew on my dino until it fell in the garbage
Tori: ass
Gooper Blooper: the Attack Pack Gallimimus is not the best at standing, no
Tori: the raptor fell, the galli was
Tori: hangin in there, baybee
Jumpropeman: more like
Jumpropeman: made to be attacked pack
Gooper Blooper: basically yes :V the galli is a good victim dino
Jumpropeman: it was immediately attacked by ivel after all
Jumpropeman: you know what they say though
Jumpropeman: every dinosaur is someone's favorite
Gooper Blooper: that's why we're cutting half the fossil record in the next installment of paleontology
Gooper Blooper: we just don't have enough resources to keep track of them all
Tori: we're actually going to fucking make up some dinosaurs
Jumpropeman: but dont worry, T-rex aint going anywhere
Jumpropeman: we're even giving the t-rex a new subspecies

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Tori: my back hurts
Tori: *withers into an old lady to be RPed by jrm in about 10 years*

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RubyChao: because i like thinking of minor background details that never come up in rp:
RubyChao: honoka's sister is pretty good at english but not easily-used-constantly-as-main language like honoka, her mom is Okay at it but don't expect her to hold sustained conversation about esoteric concepts with rare words
RubyChao: and honoka's dad is completely monolingual
RubyChao: now u know
Jumpropeman: that's good! That's how you get a more robust character who can have more organic reactions to stimuli!
RubyChao: thanks!
RubyChao: i'd say that honoka was actually on the level of her sister when she first moved to olympia a few years ago - pretty good at english but still not comfortable with it as her main language
RubyChao: complete immersion in a city with a different main language was what improved it to the point where you basically can't tell it wasn't a starting language for her
Jumpropeman: that's pretty similar to how Niftu dropped the volus quirk of calling people by their planets, such as Earth-clan
Jumpropeman: you can only talk to so many humans before you just start calling them people :V
Gooper Blooper: Nowadays Honoka is totally natural at speaking English with one exception - for whatever reason she is incapable of saying "Fight on!" and it instead reverts to excited Japanese
RubyChao: eheheheheheh
Jumpropeman: no one has the heart to tell her
Gooper Blooper: "Repeat after me. 'Fight on!'" "FAITO DAYO" "Fight on!" ""FAITO DAYO" "ah, screw it"
Draco: So you're saying that Sumi and Honoka's Mom aren't going to be chatting any time soon?
Gooper Blooper: yes
RubyChao: correct
Draco: Fair enough.

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Monday Sheep reads Cats reviews...
Monday Sheep: "I felt the light inside me slowly fading." says one review.
Jumpropeman: sounds like its gonna be great!
Jumpropeman: im tired of all this light in my soul
Monday Sheep: I expect this film will have a cult following of sorts several years from now
Monday Sheep: ...
Monday Sheep: SEVERAL years from now.
Jumpropeman: prepare for the ironic memes in 2025

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Jumpropeman: this reminds me
Jumpropeman: cirno's a cat now
Jumpropeman: I updated my character profiles today!
Jumpropeman: *dances in the empty chatroom since no one can tell me it's wrong*
Maroon Sheep entered for the first time
Maroon Sheep: YOU'VE GOT THAT WRONG!
Maroon Sheep: Or maybe not
Maroon Sheep: What do I know, anyway?
Jumpropeman: you're no Lord of the Dance. You're not even a Duke of the Dance BI

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Jumpropeman: this was in my recommended today

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(Harpy plays Pokemon Black 2)

Tori: Let me see my fossil mom damn it
Tori: *tori complains in the background*
Tori: She would call lenora the fossil mom huh
Tori: dumb dino buff
Tori: would totally be a mix of amazed and distressed about the whole fossil switcharoo thing in swoosh
Tori: “HIS ASS TOO FAT FOR HIS TINY TORSO”
Draco: Rude :I
Tori: Alternatively: “this is how some dudes fuckin think a thick girl looks like. Dumbasses”
Jumpropeman: i mean
Jumpropeman: you saw that gijinka
Tori: i did but i need
Tori: a reminder
Jumpropeman: future best girl
Draco: I believe in her.
Tori: “Oh shit she’s hot”
Tori: i’d say thats tori but lets face it
Tori: thats me
Jumpropeman: I'll find a way to RP her somehow
Draco: I just realized the other day that Dracovish is just that rear dinosaur half with a fish on the tip of the tail.
Tori: InGen exists
Tori: i has
Jumpropeman: i mean, that works for regular dracozolt
Jumpropeman: but what purpose could they have for cute girl with thighs like tree trunks
Gooper Blooper: at last, JRM joins the thicc side via Dracozolt
Jumpropeman: gooper's been desperate for me to abandon the string beans
Jumpropeman: even mega drive and game gear are string beans :V
Gooper Blooper: game gear too lazy to eat
Gooper Blooper: patchouli is jealous
Jumpropeman: she has a high metabolism
Jumpropeman: because she goes through the batteries fast
Draco: Game Gear is a sweet pea and I will not tolerate slander against her.
Draco: What y'all are saying right now though is okay.
Jumpropeman: the main reason I can't use Dracozolt Gijinka isn't explaining her existence
Jumpropeman: it's that she'd have no duo dynamic!
Jumpropeman: because all my characters have one these days
RubyChao: what about
Draco: So what you're saying is she'd have to make friends with someone.
RubyChao: her own split personality
Tori: Tori needs friends.
Jumpropeman: she'll just hang out with this Dracovish Gijinka
Maroon Sheep looks in chat
Maroon Sheep concern rises

Draco: They became friends when they bumped into each other buying the same pants.
Draco: HI SHEEP
Draco activates the Tractor Beam.
Draco rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 15
Maroon Sheep rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 1
Maroon Sheep bursts into flames

MSheeps Nightmare D20 Campaign: Damn it Draco I told you to stop using that in an atmosphere
Tori: I thought it’d be a girl at the end of a half dragon body
MSheeps Nightmare D20 Campaign: The friction causes problems
Draco: You can't tell me what to do! You're not my REAL captain! >:U

---

Maroon Sheep: is cramping up penning THOUGHTFUL and HEARTFELT holiday cards.
ToriPines: i'll write them for you
ToriPines: *says girl bad at saying things on cards*
Jumpropeman: just buy some prebaked holiday sentiments at Hallmark!
Maroon Sheep: NEVER
Maroon Sheep: unless I run out of time or get too tired or don't care.
Maroon Sheep: :I

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Gooper Blooper: I like how many people put Jurassic World Evolution on their steam wishlist
Gooper Blooper: I will pretend it's my fault
Draco: It's your fault.
Jumpropeman: the only reason Jurassic World Evolution isnt on my wishlist
Jumpropeman: is I just got it on Xbox through Xbox Gold
ToriPines: bless
Jumpropeman: and at this rate, it was inevitable I got it this year
Jumpropeman: since we'll all be claimed by it I guess

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ToriPines joined the chat
ToriPines: Blhfdh
Jumpropeman: well put

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Gooper Blooper: So I have a Character Battle story to share, because someone who wasn't GameFAQs just did one and the results are... interesting
Gooper Blooper: IGN Japan did a video game character popularity contest, with matches decided via Twitter polls
Draco: Neaty.
Gooper Blooper: First round four characters, all rounds after that single elimination, and these are the highlights:
Gooper Blooper: In round 1, Mario advanced by defeating Ryu from Street Fighter, Cloud, and Sonic
Gooper Blooper: Characters seemed to be grouped under a vague theme most of the time and I think that one was classic mascots or something
ToriPines: I cant believe cloud is dead
Gooper Blooper: Kirby, Link, Female Inkling, Bayonetta, Pikachu, and Solid Snake also escaped their four-ways
Gooper Blooper: There was an interesting match between four indie characters that have all been in RP
Gooper Blooper: Shovel Knight, Cuphead, Jacket, and Sans
RubyChao: i actually expected raymoo
Gooper Blooper: Sans won that match
Gooper Blooper: Raymoo was in fact in the bracket though
Gooper Blooper: and in her first match, she faced two people I don't know and
Gooper Blooper: Jill Stingray.
ToriPines: Did jill win
Gooper Blooper: Jill won
ToriPines: yeaaaaa
RubyChao: JILL
ToriPines: *abandons reimu to her fate*
RubyChao: this is ok
Gooper Blooper: In the second round, Kirby beat the Inkling, Mario took out 2B, Bayonetta lost to someone who I'm pretty sure is Dante from Devil May Cry, Snake beat that guy from The Witcher, and Pikachu beat someone I don't recognize

(Note: I was wrong and "Dante" was actually a character from Detroit: Become Human)

Gooper Blooper: Jill's second opponent was Sans
Gooper Blooper: Jill obliterated him with 72 percent of the vote
Draco: :O
Draco: Jill 💗
Gooper Blooper: Quarterfinals and semifinals. Kirby defeats Mario on his side of the bracket, then topped that by also beating whoever won between Link and Dante to advance to the championship
Gooper Blooper: On the other end of the bracket, Pikachu fought someone I can't make out on the little icon thing on the bracket, probably beat them, while Jill was left with Solid Snake
Gooper Blooper: She beat him too.
Gooper Blooper: Then she beat Pikachu.
RubyChao: JILLLLL~
Gooper Blooper: Which means that THIS was the tournament final
RubyChao: did jill win
RubyChao: or is kirby a bartender now
Draco: Poyo
Gooper Blooper: The winner was Kirby, but he only won 53% to 47%
Gooper Blooper: No shame in that loss
Gooper Blooper: I think this whole thing does a good job of showing how much momentum Valhalla has managed to build up even in Japan
Gooper Blooper: Jill wouldn't have lasted five seconds at GameFAQs and we all know it
RubyChao: of course not
RubyChao: she's not 90s enough
Draco: She's not a Tetris block either.
Draco: Not as flat as Tenshi.

---

Jumpropeman: pop quiz: same game or not?
Jumpropeman: as far as I can tell they are
Morag Sheep: I return
Morag Sheep: like a terrible night to have a curse.
Jumpropeman: slaying yourself didn't stick
Morag Sheep: It never does.
Draco: Wow. Those are amazing game covers.
Jumpropeman: perhaps they thought people didn't realize the amount of horse on offer and put out the second cover with a horseshoe on the cover to cement it
Jumpropeman: or maybe the second one came out first and confused people since it promised paws and claws, neither of which a horse wields
Jumpropeman: based on the progress of the rider in the background, the Paws & Claws version came first
Jumpropeman: but based on the woman in the front's height, she's grown much taller since Paws & Claws!
Jumpropeman: as in, she became taller in the Paws & Claws cover
Jumpropeman: clearly the horses are in a time warp, hence the name Friends FOREVER

---

Jumpropeman: https://youtube.com/watch?v=HFFgepMA6mg
Draco: lol
Draco: SNOM
Morag Sheep: People seem to really like Falinks.
Jumpropeman: its a pretty different Pokemon concept

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(I introduce Stella Hoshii from VA-11 Hall-A as a potential RP character)

Jumpropeman: ok cat boomer
Jumpropeman: goop gonna rp the entire valhalla cast
Jumpropeman: sei confirmed to exist, we're in best timeline
Morag Sheep: At last, the true hero cat appears.
Gooper Blooper: The true hero cat is Fore.
ivel: I thought it was Maple

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Now Bulgraves Mortal Enemy: THERE
Now Bulgraves Mortal Enemy: Everyone has been gifted something
Now Bulgraves Mortal Enemy: Even GB got a small thing
Now Bulgraves Mortal Enemy: Because bribing people to be your friends always works IT'S CHRISTMAS
N Goat: GB was gifted southern Ontario.
Now Bulgraves Mortal Enemy: Considering that's where my city is and most of Canada hates it, they'd probably give it to him if they could

---

Jumpropeman: christmas 3 days away
Jumpropeman: couldnt find a three day version of this though
Jumpropeman: so remember to loop it
Draco: I'll put it in the ticker tomorrow.
Now Bulgraves Mortal Enemy: He threatens to fire him
Now Bulgraves Mortal Enemy: He doesn't want to be an elf to begin with
Now Bulgraves Mortal Enemy: Methinks he didn't think this threat through
Draco: Elf practice didn't prepare him for disgruntled employees.

---

Manic Eats The Tree Again: I'm just glad that online shopping has greatly simplified Christmas shopping
Manic Eats The Tree Again: I dunno if you were around during the Tickle Me Elmo and Furby days...
Jumpropeman: most of us would have been the target demographic for elmo and furby
iKomodo: I vaguely remember furby
iKomodo: i had a furby baby and it was the most awful thing
Jumpropeman: a few furbies graced my house over the years
Jumpropeman: I still have a toy version from mcdonalds or some such
Jumpropeman: that I mostly keep because you can make it go cockeyed
Manic Eats The Tree Again: I was thankfully out of it
Manic Eats The Tree Again: I remember the Furby year
Manic Eats The Tree Again: Jay Leno had two people on his show
Manic Eats The Tree Again: And he tried to get them to win a Furby
Manic Eats The Tree Again: By dumping it along with several other megahot gifts of years past in a barrel of eggnog
Manic Eats The Tree Again: Whoever pulled the Furby out of their eggnog barrel first won
Deletons: Oh Jesus
Manic Eats The Tree Again: (He did just give them two fresh undamaged Furbies after all the chaos)
Jumpropeman: were they bobbing for furbies or just reaching in
Manic Eats The Tree Again: They were allowed to use their arms
Brinehammer: When I worked at Walmart two older ladies got in a fistfight over a tickle me Elmo on Black Friday. There was blood in the aisle.
Deletons: Old lady blood in the aisles
iKomodo: Elmo has resulted in bloodshed
iKomodo: this never would have happened with cookie monster

---

Jumpropeman: i bet spam emails would catch more people if they promised small reward amounts like 10 bucks instead of 250,000,000

---

Jumpropeman: "Xyra got just wanted she wanted for Christmas: She wanted to come home and see if you were going to give her your DOG on the double-sure you were going to have another cute moment with her, you know, to make up for the [insert that old TV show feeling you had when you saw that role model buddy from high school] and everything is going fine until [yawn] she unzips her jeans"
Gooper Blooper: So THAT'S what JRM wants for Christmas
ToriPinesPogeys: woah, xyra smut already?
Manic Eats The Tree Again: Is that Talk To Transformer again?
ToriPinesPogeys: damn, TtT, calm your AI tiddies
Gooper Blooper: I'll get right to work on the Xyra X Rachel special
ToriPinesPogeys: *hot sexy jazz music plays*
Jumpropeman: "Shimmer had to spend Christmas with Ken as her fiancee. She couldn't believe Ken was sleeping with another man.
Soon it was announced she had joined a church, though she refused to be baptized. She left school to travel the world in search of spiritual fulfillment. During this time she contacted God about a story she had read in the newspaper. It was about a drowning woman, and her adoptive mom had married a man her family could not respect, and her father, she thought, was the same man."
Gooper Blooper: it's actually just them playing video games together with the rest of nerd club
Jumpropeman: my favorite line is the one about God
ToriPinesPogeys: ...UH
Gooper Blooper: Shimmer searches for spiritual fulfillment
ToriPinesPogeys: first off
Gooper Blooper: then just calls up god himself to ask a question
Jumpropeman: yo god, I was reading the paper
ToriPinesPogeys: you know what, i don't even know where to start
RubyChao: "Hibiki planned to stay with Honoka for Christmas, and once it was over, he would be stuck with it!
So anyway, he left the last year of his life for a Christmas break that year, and went off to Europe on an adventure to explore, recreate, and research the locations of countless peoples and sights!
"Wow, where the hell did that friend of mine go? Why do I have this feeling that someone took him away?"
"I'm not sure…I guess I can say that he left you with Honoka," Hiashi said."
RubyChao: BIKKIE'S GONNA DIE D:
ToriPinesPogeys: so kanade can be the star? yes
Jumpropeman: "Hibiki didn't believe in Santa Claus until she had been accepted by the witch: "I wasn't able to see him because I was so small," she said."
ToriPinesPogeys: ...what does that have to do with anything
ToriPinesPogeys: i understand nothing
RubyChao: At the start of Kanade's Christmas concert, 『Kage Kyoushitsu』 is showed on the school's broadcasting tower.
「Huh? (I don't remember anything)?」
As soon as the speakers switched to the "Kage Kyoushitsu", the pair closed their eyes while not noticing the enormous budget for radio stations.
While walking to the station, we watched other students participating in their special concerts.
Normally, students would gather to watch another student perform. After all, it is only natural that they would receive a nice review.
RubyChao: so
RubyChao: kanade's high school years
Jumpropeman: Santa's like a magic eye picture
Jumpropeman: you gotta stand the right distance away
Gooper Blooper: It was a big crowd and they were all standing in front of her blocking her view
Gooper Blooper: For Christmas, Frost got a heart-shaped tree to decorate with himself. In typical Frost fashion, he refused to make a wreath of balloons.
"It was an easy call," Frost said. "Why not go for it?"
In 2012, Frost threw a Super Bowl Halftime Show at midfield of Halas Hall in Tampa, which he liked better than most places in the U.S. He remembered the wording of the question as "Can you put a heart on a football?" and mentioned that although his brothers are dressed as superheroes, he's more of
Gooper Blooper: typical frost fashion
RubyChao: give me another chaoacter to TTT
Gooper Blooper: Patchouli
Jumpropeman: Voyd didn't get Kaede anything for Christmas!
The denial doesn't stop there. Kaede tries to be open about it, but it does nothing to resolve the issue. She learns that the Ramseys aren't her father (whom she never met) but had contact with him online and they had watched a movie together in 2001 and she falls for him.
Jumpropeman: Kaede's relationship with Gordon Ramsey is complicated
ToriPinesPogeys: lkjgadfljg
ToriPinesPogeys: my god
RubyChao: Now that she understood the true meaning of Christmas, Patchouli 【Gensokyo】—『Alice Einzbern』—was no longer merely a character that sat on my desk as a game reference, but also a person I could truly know. It was her godly power that formed the order to hunt her. If she released this power, she might be able to backfill her own existence.
But—
"No, not yet. The nameless goddesses still haven't fully fallen."
RubyChao: is this patchyplot 2020
Jumpropeman: Theodore's Christmas cookies are shaped just like a yellow magic star and traditionally red.
That isn't much of a surprise, given that the Star Wars logo was designed by Adolf Hitler's cousin, Fritz Werfel, in 1937.
Ironically, however, the Texas holiday was created in 1939 by the Texas Historical Commission to help recapture the First City of Austin.
Dallas current Mayor Mike Rawlings says the plaque reads: "It was created to remember those who lost their lives and the heroism that was part of the war effort"
Jumpropeman: none of these sentences feel connected
Gooper Blooper: goddamn, those two results are going places
Gooper Blooper: Patchy vs The Nameless Goddesses, let's do this
RubyChao: i love the phrase "backfill her own existence"
RubyChao: it feels like it should mean something
RubyChao: yet it doesn't
Gooper Blooper: Plague told me his favorite Christmas was the Christmas of 2003, because that year, he and his wife, Natalia, were preparing to send their son, Thomas, to college. He was at home, alone, cradling his wife's sleeping baby, when "trouble" came knocking. Plague's wife, Natalia, whom he calls "my best friend" and "our baby sister," was pushing an eight-month-old boy on a stroller. As she did so, a shard of glass from an 8-inch-long "gate-crasher
Gooper Blooper: this cuts off right at the good part
Jumpropeman: Blasto had to make sure his Christmas was just like Die Hard.
Just like Die Hard, he decided to ski with his kid brother to discover his every strength.
And that included his absolute worst trigger finger, the fifth on his ring finger.
A potential thumbs up was impossible for an hour and a half.
Gooper Blooper: ouch
Jumpropeman: Plague's got the start of a drama right there
Jumpropeman: time to make that his backstory
Jumpropeman: I also feel like Plague's children multiply in the course of that telling
Manic Eats The Tree Again: In the first dimension Joy and Neeko visited the Robot Heart in which there was a heart of another dataoid. They saw a Vagabond, a machine with eyes, a long blade, and the Heart part of the Vagabond. They also saw one of those blade heads that Ryvius used before his final fight with the Funbox. They also saw a computer-generated image of Sol's Vagabond; and a "forever coming" message from Ydayah; which they were able to read.
Joy also saw Merane in the
Manic Eats The Tree Again: ....the what?
Manic Eats The Tree Again: That's it?
Gooper Blooper: They usually cut off suddenly, yeah, CW
RubyChao: "Check it out, Plague!" Futo waved her arms. She had a boomerang stick on her shoulder and offered it to the hot-headed youth.
"Oh, of course," Link muttered, pulling his sword from the saddle. "You know the people back home like to make fun of me...and with this, I can make my job that much easier. Especially if they're the ones who elected them."
"So, what is it you're doing here?" "You can tell all of that by the way they greeted me."
RubyChao: this one is great
Gooper Blooper: That dialogue is either me trying to RP at 1 AM or a transcript of those engrish people from Symphogear having another conversation about what was repoarded
Jumpropeman: "Ho fucking ho everyone" Niftu began with a scowl, and braced for the punch to the gut.
"If you say so, Lieutenant!" Novem added with a reassuring grin. She leaned over to yank off one of the helmet-clad officers' pigtails. She grinned when another agent snagged his tail with her own.
"Hee hee..." She jerked her chin toward the rolling boat as the day wore on, and Jormungandr pulled her and her Hecto in closer.
She was drunk
Jumpropeman: niftu has pigtails confirmed
Manic Eats The Tree Again: After so many attempts to win the Big Bar Brawl, Dawn finally comes out of the woods to find that almost everyone has decided to join her. Almost, as in will be wiped out. Dawn thinks that she'll win just like she won last time by good luck, but she knows that she needs to try again. She thinks back on the good times she's had while camped out with Dawn and Jason on the scenic country road to the water. She remembered that they'd both saved a kid that they had set on fire, and there they'd said that it was a lucky break
Manic Eats The Tree Again: This sounds...almost happen-able.
Jumpropeman: "She remembered that they'd both saved a kid that they had set on fire"
Jumpropeman: that's the most plausible part
Manic Eats The Tree Again: Dawn: THIS IS WHY I SAID I SHOULD GIVE YOU HANDS.
Manic Eats The Tree Again: Dawn: TOO MANY ISSUES YOU TRY AND SOLVE WITH LASER
RubyChao: "FAITO DAYO" shouted Honoka, equipping Symphogear to fight.
Earlier in the day, if all went according to plan, this all-night gamble had brought forth the beloved girl, Honoka, and the Labrys, the peaceful girl, Syline. But that gamble did not come true. The boy , Yuri Katsuki, along with the two, the grass boy and the weather boy, Makoto Nikaido, had gathered together there because of different reasons. There was one thing they wanted to discuss but could not.
RubyChao: it's gibberish but
RubyChao: >labrys
Gooper Blooper: This Christmas, Rexy the Tyrannosaurus Rex got an entirely new look for the holiday season and we're gonna take a look at his new look as well as get some special reactions from all the different members of the team!
First, we bring you some fan art of the T Rex out on display:
Meanwhile, we've got some more previews of the new holiday costumes featuring Rexy! We also have some movie character designs, so check them out if you've been itching to see some or all of them!
So, let's get to the holiday costumes,
Gooper Blooper: rexy sold out
Jumpropeman: I wish I could see those outfits
Gooper Blooper: there are
Gooper Blooper: so many variants of this joke
Gooper Blooper: on google images
RubyChao: It was just another day on the subway when Hibiki said, "You could teach me to ride!" The two of them riding around the station, along with Hibiki's 18-month-old daughter, hugging each other with whole-hearted hugs, staring at the next cars, enjoying the sounds of the trains and saying the sun is shining. Though they used to be close-knit little friends, the two had been strangers for so long that they were no longer a compatible couple.
As Ibara snoozed, Hibiki looked at her a little awkwardly.
RubyChao: so if ibara is her childhood friend
RubyChao: who did hibiki have the kid with?
Gooper Blooper: Honoka
Gooper Blooper: duh
RubyChao: well, guess i know what the citrus duo will do when they cameo in season 15
Jumpropeman: *rolls Elliott a few times*
Jumpropeman: >Eliot
Jumpropeman: THEY BROKE THE RULE
Gooper Blooper: Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,
Featuring some of my new favorite holiday songs. Christmas is nigh,
Come and get the big ol' gifts, ya'll got some time to spend.
All throughout the hallways,
I have been collecting and sorting the presents.
Now I need to open them up to find them all,
And make sure they're big and sweet enough for my love.
I wish you the best of luck, and a merry Christmas!
Jumpropeman: "Elliott had to stop Christmas from coming! But how? You know…by tucking the dummy up in the futon? That's kind of sneaky, especially since it's the same one I had for Halloween.
Aah! I couldn't stay mad at this man for too long, and I was just about to act like a good girl and get some presents out of this epic fantasy novel of a man, when a sudden sting of desperation caught my eye. "
Jumpropeman: >epic fantasy novel of a man
Gooper Blooper: Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,
The vile shadow of Satan was hissing like the devil.
Gooper Blooper: There was more but
Gooper Blooper: it's perfect as is
Manic Eats The Tree Again: "and saying the sun is shining"
Manic Eats The Tree Again: Raw: But the ice is slippery-DON'T DO THAT.
Gooper Blooper: heading to bed, nite
RubyChao: As the webpage finished loading, Yohane gasped in shock.
"Hey!" she said, turning and waving to her family.
"Everyone, this is Yuuko-chan, the Founder of the country of Japan! Here are the message she just sent! One hundred fifty zettai rinne! We stand at the bifurcation of happiness and misfortune. You are cursed! Any passphrase required?" The message, printed in English, was almost illegible. Yohane gasped again, overwhelmed.
RubyChao: >almost illegible
RubyChao: YOU GOT THAT RIGHT.
Manic Eats The Tree Again: Erdrick had a plan to get back into the RPer's good graces. I had been working on the spy story for several months. My partner and I had created a fully functional spy network that we could use to steal any information. Unfortunately we were caught. Unfortunately that was the start. We had grown a second team to take down Weyland-Yutani and it was nearly impossible to build the second team without not being caught. Our plans took a nose dive and we lost everyone on that team. Our real goal was to defeat the other Remnant Faction we'd
Manic Eats The Tree Again: The plan was to confuse you so much you forget why you want him out of RP
Brinehammer joined the chat
Manic Eats The Tree Again: Aggie petitioned the group to be un-banned entirely. The Georgia State University chapter of the American Association of University Professors agreed, and the issue was litigated on several occasions before it was settled in late 2002.
This sort of symbolic action is all too common. The Campaign to Protect F-18s has been at work and donating money to prevent a ban on the F-18 by spending over $1 million. EFF has come out for the F-18, and in fact filed an amicus brief on behalf of other fighters trying to overturn the MRO and
Manic Eats The Tree Again: The Kobbers may have forgotten her, but Blackbird had not forgotten Gust, and he knew that these two were a match made in high heaven. The two stood in one frame of battle. Blackbird let the last moves land before falling to his knees, exhausted from having pushed his way back up to the second level.
Gust was to kill him, but Blackbird didn't have his katana. His arms folded into his chest, he held up the last of his mana, and looked upon his one-time friend. He let out a sigh. The Viking had

---

ivel: thanks Chao whenever you're on :U
ivel: he got me a game called Virgo Versus the Zodiac
ivel: his note was amusing so I have to share it
ivel: ivel,
i've literally never heard of this game before so don't blame me if it sucks!!
Best Wishes,
Chao

MobileDraco: Chao is all heart.

---

Jumpropeman: link

---

ProfessorPines: >pelipper
ProfessorPines: hi
ProfessorPines: did you catch that with a master ball?
Maypole Sheep entered for the first time
ProfessorPines: ...
Maypole Sheep: :I
ProfessorPines: i'm going to die for my sins

---

Jumpropeman: I tried to get RainbowDash an Eiscue shirt for Christmas as a thanks for Pokemon Swoosh
Jumpropeman: but I was opening the packaging to wrap it today
Jumpropeman: and it is not Eiscue at all
Jumpropeman: it is two nacho chips
Jumpropeman: one is holding up the other at knifepoint
Gooper Blooper: mistakes were made
Jumpropeman: one says "Whoa! Let's TACO bout it friend!" and you can barely read the black text on dark blue
Jumpropeman: and the other says "I'm NACHO friend!"
Spymultaneous: That
Spymultaneous: That sounds like the opposite of a mistake
Spymultaneous: That sounds like a BBB10 entrant
Jumpropeman: spy no
Jumpropeman: someone erase his memory
Gooper Blooper: I was actually going to say the same thing
Gooper Blooper: give her that shirt in June and she'd enter the chips for sure
Jumpropeman: I will try to get an exchange, she doesn't know what it will be but she saw the chip shirt
Jumpropeman: and agreed she didn't want it :v
Gooper Blooper: I have overestimated the quirkiness of the JRMsisters
Jumpropeman: the main reason she cited was the illegibility of the black on dark blue
Jumpropeman: so it might not be the joke
Spymultaneous: Okay, that's amazing
Spymultaneous: It isn't that the shirt's bad. It's that you can't properly see the meme magic
Jumpropeman: I can't even show the design to you all
Jumpropeman: because the site
Jumpropeman: does not have the design on it
Jumpropeman: im shocked they even got the size right considering how bad they failed
ivel: that is impressive
Jumpropeman: if anything its worse the size is right
Jumpropeman: because now clearly it's not some mixed up order or something
Jumpropeman: like we got someone else's or whatever
ivel: you could have
ivel: more people can have the same size :U
Jumpropeman: same size, relaxed fit, and the background color that WOULD have worked for Eiscue
Spymultaneous: Its just
Spymultaneous: Nachos instead
Spymultaneous: Well JRM
Spymultaneous: You know what?
Spymultaneous: I GUESS THAT'S NACHO SHIRT, HUH!?
Gooper Blooper: link
Maypole Sheep: CUTE
Jumpropeman: if that was on the shirt
Jumpropeman: RainbowDash would keep it
ProfessorPines: dog

---

Maypole Sheep: Finally tried out Wandersong after
Maypole Sheep: A LONG TIME
Maypole Sheep: It's cute
Maypole Sheep: and miraculously scratches the Paper Bug itch!
Jumpropeman: does it feature bugs made out of paper?
Maypole Sheep: No...
Maypole Sheep weeps

---

Christmas Eve-il: I'll just be calling it the Xbox SX
Jumpropeman: I'm waiting to see what other sites go with
Deletons: They called the fourth Xbox the Xbox sex
Jumpropeman: xbox is super horny
Jumpropeman: xbone, xbox sex
Jumpropeman: and i mean
Jumpropeman: sexbox is ready and waiting

---

Gooper Blooper: "There were dozens of Santa hotline commercials in the ‘80s, but this was by far the strangest. For starters, this “Santa” definitely locked up the real one and took his place. (Notice how Mrs. Claus seems to be signaling for help during her brief appearance?)
I don’t know how you go through the trouble of fabricating a set that features an elf-manned nuclear control panel and forget Santa’s wig. Did they run out of money? They should’ve prioritized before buying that blinking map of the United States. And what kind of room are they even in? It looks like they threw a bunch of Christmas junk into one of those stark lofts from perfume commercials.
Oh, and when they cut to shots of various kids enjoying Santa’s Christmas stories, THEY’RE IN THE SAME ROOM. They’re literally calling Santa while standing in his own damn call center! I guess Santa’s closing line — “Christmas is near, and so am I!” — was meant to be taken literally?"

Gooper Blooper: From Dinosaur Dracula

---

Marrow Sheep: Oh that reminds me
Marrow Sheep: I just checked out a Nero Wolfe book
Marrow Sheep: Let's see, it's called "Too Many Women"
Christmas Eve-il: Remember
Christmas Eve-il: The police
Christmas Eve-il: Shall receive
Christmas Eve-il: NO SANDWICHES!!!!!!!
Marrow Sheep thunderclap
Gooper Blooper: >Too Many Women
Gooper Blooper glances at RP
Gooper Blooper tosses Stella Hoshii onto the pile of women already so tall we had to take out a roof

Gooper Blooper: this is fine
ProfessorPines: look if i could RP some of these dude gym leaders in RP i would
ProfessorPines: the sword exclusive rock gym leader's hot

---

Christmas Day-il: The Enormous Crocodile
Christmas Day-il: It's about a crocodile
Jumpropeman: whaaaaaat
Christmas Day-il: Not only is it enormous but it dearly wants to eat people. Specifically, children.
Christmas Day-il: Another crocodile tries to talk him out of it. He doesn't listen and goes off to eat children
Jumpropeman: #NotAllCrocs
Christmas Day-il: He runs into several other jungle animals along the way and tries to eat them as well, or generally is just an asshole to them
Christmas Day-il: So he goes into the city and tries to disguise himself as a seesaw to trick children into climbing on him so he can eat them
Christmas Day-il: But one of the jungle animals runs out and yells IT'S THE ENORMOUS CROCODILE and all the kids run away
Christmas Day-il: The crocodile tries several more plans, each one thwarted by one of the jungle animals he hassled showing up and blowing his cover
Christmas Day-il: And finally the elephant shows up and goes "THIS HAS GONE ON LONG ENOUGH WE WILL NOW FIX THE PROBLEM FOR GOOD."
Christmas Day-il: So he grabs the crocodile by the tail with his trunk and starts spinning him around
Christmas Day-il: Faster and faster
Christmas Day-il: Until he's a blur
Christmas Day-il: Then he throws him
Christmas Day-il: .....and he flies out of Earth's orbit
Christmas Day-il: Flies through space
Christmas Day-il: And crashes into the sun
Christmas Day-il: Where he is sizzled up like a sausage per Dahl's last line
Christmas Day-il: THE END
RubyChao: classic dahl
festivel: OR IS IT
Jumpropeman: Dawnephant
Christmas Day-il: Why they didn't do this before the crocodile actually tried to eat kids is a question for the ages
festivel: jrm almost killed me
RubyChao: Good.
festivel: I laughed and then coughed
Harpy: dawnephant
Christmas Day-il: Dawn: I DON'T THROW EVERYTHING INTO THE SUN!

---

Christmas Day-il: Zeldoten being dwarf-stout keeps throwing me off.
Christmas Day-il: I keep picturing her as her earlier drawn self
Christmas Day-il: The one that was hanging upside down doing thievery
RubyChao: it keeps throwing dawn off, too
RubyChao: when zeldoten lands so hard the shockwave sends dawn off olympia
Jumpropeman: that's back when she got your goat
Christmas Day-il: Dawn: -falling- I take comfort that that sort of impact probably broke every bone she had.
Christmas Day-il: Dawn: Wait no, she has plenty of padding.
Gooper Blooper: I bet it's actually a case of saying something so often it becomes true
Gooper Blooper: the more Dawn says Zeldoten is heavy the bigger she gets

---

Gooper Blooper: >Pitohui's Steam collection includes a touhou game, Railroad Tycoon, and Valhalla
Gooper Blooper: chao, we have ruined this man
RubyChao: yes, i am doing my best to corrupt him hopelessly
Gooper Blooper: in further corrupting news, his wishlist includes Shovel Knight, A Hat In Time, and Bog Flerbles
Harpy: blog furbies?
Gooper Blooper: bug fables
Harpy: boog feebles
RubyChao: borg friebles
Gooper Blooper: oh, and iconoclasts
Gooper Blooper: the under-the-radar chao ruined
RubyChao: so much music
RubyChao: so much

---

Draco: Merry Christmas from Best Squid.
Merry Sheep: "Merry Christmas from Best Squid"
Merry Sheep: Gezora?
Gooper Blooper: Me?
Merry Sheep: The Calamari Wrestler?!
RubyChao: You?
Draco: Captain You is not a squid. :I
RubyChao: you never know! with how nautical she is, what if her great-great-great-grandfather was Octodad?
Merry Sheep: Calmaramon?
RubyChao: she's DEAD sheep
RubyChao: you have to let go
RubyChao: you have to let go
Merry Sheep: If I had let go any faster, she would have been Ranamon.
Draco: I'll correct myself: SECOND-best squid. Ranamon didn't send holiday greetings.
Gooper Blooper: Sheep wasn't the one who had trouble letting go
Draco: Here you go, Sheep.
Merry Sheep: That's a cute Grumblemon
Gooper Blooper: it's cool though, we just pulled her out of the recycling bin and having been humbled by her loss and inspired by the final battle of Curseplot, she's a protagonist now
Draco stamps that as canon.
Merry Sheep: I actually didn't notice-NOOOOO-didn't notice Mercurymon at first
Draco: Me neither. I was busy focusing on the good Digimon and didn't notice him until you said something about bringing back Ranamon because she's cool.
Merry Sheep: I'm about certain that, given the slant of my writing, Ranamon returning would end up a "You got what you wanted but you lost what you had" situation :I
Merry Sheep answers way too seriously
Draco: And I'm about certain that we'd still love her because she'd try to be evil and fail adorably.
Merry Sheep: 8I
Draco: B3
Gooper Blooper: someone else adopts her instead
Merry Sheep: :::::I
RubyChao: i love how disgruntled mercurymon is at being the tree
Draco: Yamame adopts Ranamon and she joins DracRP in Season 11 after I kill off my entire cast.
Merry Sheep lies down
Merry Sheep: Ranamon returns
Merry Sheep: but as Grumblemon's nose.
Draco: Canon.

---

Jumpropeman: im happy to see ive sent you deeper into redlettermedia
Merry Sheep: I do enjoy sifting through media which might be described as "substandard".
Merry Sheep: I do hasten to add that I do actually like films and books that aren't awful drek
Jumpropeman: since when
Merry Sheep: There's just a lot more of the latter out there
Jumpropeman: it took me starting a website to shake my "only plays bad games" reputation

---

Jumpropeman: when you :D wrong
RubyChao: >that picture
RubyChao: the bread fumes got to her
Jumpropeman: necessary viewing for draco
RubyChao: plot twist: it's Yohane's one and only supernatural power in RP
RubyChao: if you remove her hair meatball she can respawn it
Jumpropeman: elite hacker yohane
RubyChao: the start of her journey...
MobileDraco: L33T HAX

---

ChampionTori: honestly don't know the champion situation in zfrp aside from "viola did a gym romp!"
GB V10: Viola is the champion of the united states
RubyChao: she won't be
ChampionTori: you make her sound like she's the president.
ChampionTori: and that's hilarious.
RubyChao: no, harpy
RubyChao: that's Eggerman.
ChampionTori: SHUT
ChampionTori: I KNOW

---

MobileDraco: I'm amazed there's a good Grinch game. Can he be in Smash now?
MobileDraco: And it looks like Beauty and the Beast games were all terrible.
Jumpropeman: The grinch stole any possible good elements from them to make his game fun
Jumpropeman: link
Marten Sheep: No.

---

Monterrey Sheep: Picked up the first part of Digimon: Data Squad
Monterrey Sheep: because I am weak
Jumpropeman: what's that?
RubyChao: the best season
RubyChao: that's what
Monterrey Sheep: But, given one's tendency to write what you know, I haggled a couple dollars off the already discounted price.

---

Jumpropeman: link
MobileDraco: Xyra is canon.

(later)

Gooper Blooper: that augmented reality xyra is something special, JRM
Gooper Blooper: now she can hang out with you while you play xbone
KWANZAAropeman: which I am doing right now :V

---

Cold Spap (Spymultaneous) joined the chat
Cold Spap: I AM SHOWING UP TO WISH YOU ALL
Cold Spap: BOTH HOLIDAYS AT ONCE
Cold Spap: BUCKLE UP FUCKERS ITS TIME FOR NEW CHRISTMAS
NewPhoneDel: Hewwo
Cold Spap changed name to New Christmas
New Christmas: Oh no I already got hewwod
Jumpropeman: oh yeah Spy?
Jumpropeman: well I'm gonna hit you with
Jumpropeman: some mothafuckin
Jumpropeman changed name to KWANZAAropeman
New Christmas: Oh shit!!!
KWANZAAropeman: KWANZAA
New Christmas changed name to New Christmas Wii
KWANZAAropeman: I hope you got your Purpose in mind today
KWANZAAropeman: I see chatzy now has a new years skin
KWANZAAropeman: which is just doing Kwanzaa dirty

---

RubyChao: here is a picture of hibiki
Gooper Blooper: chao speaks the truth, that is indeed a picture of hibiki
Gooper Blooper: and some other chick
Jumpropeman: they got honoka's hair color wrong
RubyChao: jrm beat me to it because in canon that is hibiki's best friend and closest confidant and all that
RubyChao: and i was going to say "it's their version of honoka"
Draco: link
Gooper Blooper: pffft
Jumpropeman: perfect
RubyChao: Accurate.
Gooper Blooper: faito dayo more like foodo dayo
Draco: Wait, I made it better.
Gooper Blooper: XD

---

iKomodo: Time for the new decade
iKomodo: ONORE DIKEIDOOOOOOO
iKomodo: Happy new decade, y’all
iKomodo changed name to DecadeModo
NewPhoneDel joined the chat
DecadeModo: Hi bro
NewPhoneDel: Happy new yappy
DecadeModo: First meme post of 2020
ivel: not for us yet ;P
DecadeModo: Enjoy what you have left of 2019 :P
NewPhoneDel: Dongs
DecadeModo: Butts
NewPhoneDel: Hehehe
DecadeModo: So we start as we mean to go on :P

(later)

RubyChao: hey del
NewPhoneDel: Hi
RubyChao: how's the new decade
RubyChao: is it shiny
NewPhoneDel: It's magenta
RubyChao: acceptable
NewPhoneDel: Nobody will get that reference lol

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