(Re: the lone Rocket Grunt in Kanto in Pokemon GSC)
Miao: Chanda woulda just whooped that rocket's ass without a pokemon battle
Miao: "defeat me, you must, to find the truth!"
Miao: Chanda takes out her wrench, adjusts it so the middle part spews out flames
Miao: "Keep wastin' my time and see what happens, punk."
Miao: grabs him, points the flames towards him
Miao: she takes power grid repairs seriously
---
Draco: https://youtube.com/watch?v=cgOx7HXKgqk
Jumpropeman: radical!
Draco: I'm pretty sure it's canon.
Jumpropeman: that is how Clownpiece will win Blood Ball (which is Blood Bowl with baskets)
Draco: Double canon.
---
Midnight Sheep: "Earl, a rotund yellow alien wearing shorts and shades but no shirt to speak of"
Midnight Sheep: And yet, to speak of the lack of a thing...
Midnight Sheep: Is that not to speak of the thing itself?
---
(JRM is playing Yakuza, on the hunt for an infamous minigame...)
Jumpropeman: you know I'm looking for that karoake game
RubyChao: jrm; the karoke place is over in the lower right area of Kamurocho
RubyChao: iirc it's on the rightmost of the main vertical streets
Jumpropeman: ah good! I am close by!
Jumpropeman is stopped by a Palm Reader substory
Jumpropeman: karaoke will have to wait
RubyChao: the most Kobber thing about Kiryu
RubyChao: is that every time he just plans to go around town he gets into a variety of wacky situations and also fights
Miao!: noticed that when i moved my routine to the working bathroom on the other side of the house
Miao!: i
Miao!: stopped doing those
Miao!: i need to move them back, the facial stuff at least
RubyChao: for a second, harpy
RubyChao: i thought you meant that every time you crossed the house you got into a variety of wacky situations
Miao!: if that happened every time i'd probably have high blood pressure issues
Miao!: or cry because of sad MAGIC stuff
Miao!: or something
(later)
Jumpropeman plays darts drunk in Yakuza
Jumpropeman: how did I lose
festivel: don't drink and dart
(later)
Jumpropeman: "Substory 47: Crisis on the Crapper"
Jumpropeman: alright yakuza
Miao?: getting those corpse party elements in there
Jumpropeman: time to show me how bathroom problems become a street brawl
RubyChao: jrm has gradually been learning one of the most satisfying things about yakuza
RubyChao: that being
RubyChao: if you meet a jerk, 99 times out of 100 they will eventually challenge Kiryu to a fight
RubyChao: solely so that you can enjoy throwing them around
Jumpropeman roped into Pocket Circuit car races before I can even finish bathroom quest
Gooper Blooper: oh god, Sidequest Pileup
RubyChao: that's also yakuza in a nutshell
RubyChao: you will have all sorts of side things available at any given time
RubyChao: that's why there's a postgame mode of just "run around and do the stuff"
Jumpropeman: the funny thing is
Jumpropeman: for bathroom quest
Jumpropeman: I just had to walk like ten feet to the left to get to the item box
Jumpropeman: but even that got interrupted :V
(later)
RubyChao: i like how
RubyChao: even if jrm tells me which chapter of yakuza kiwami he's on
RubyChao: i have no idea how far along he'll be
RubyChao: as in how close to the end
RubyChao: because who knows how much side content he'll bump into
Jumpropeman: chao, it is very important I get this plush sparrow in the crane game! the crime family drama can wait!
Miao?: oh geez
Gooper Blooper: From the sound of it he could finish Yakuza in twenty minutes if he didn't keep getting roped into bumper cars and javelina herding minigames
RubyChao: that's pretty accurate
Miao?: that sound like real sidequests and i want them
RubyChao: don't forget bumping into majima
Jumpropeman: i'd probably not care about the sidestories and amusements if they weren't so entertaining
---
Draco: Controversial Opinion: VTubers
RubyChao: *SCREAMS LOUDLY*
---
Cornwind Evil: -fighting a bunch of woodland hunters-
Cornwind Evil: Good job! Kill their leader!
Cornwind Evil: -Leader is half a mile away hiding in a crypt-
Cornwind Evil: Lousy leader
Draco: LOL
Draco: He leads from the rear.
---
Draco: Akinator's stupid. He apparently does not know Game Gear. :I
Jumpropeman: clearly his magic is flawed
Draco: Indeed.
Jumpropeman: either that or Game Gear was too lazy to submit herself to his database
Jumpropeman: she'll GET to it :I
Draco: He didn't know Saturn either, but that's not surprising.
Jumpropeman: Saturn keeps submitting her name but Akinator says it doesn't accept fake entries ;p
Draco: Oddly, his guess was Filia, so...um...either I'm answering the questions badly or they're practically twins.
Jumpropeman: the truth comes out, she's the Sega Star version of Yohane
Draco: It's canon. ;-;
Draco: Worst timeline.
---
Jumpropeman: I had a dream where Joe Biden was a water type gym leader so when he assumed office he did his first big speech from his gym. It had a big pool like they kind they keep whales and dolphins in at Sea World and to introduce his policy plan he had Mei from Overwatch ride in on a Tentacruel
(later)
Gooper Blooper: hot damn that Biden dream from JRM, I hope we get that in real life :V
Miao?: that sounds like some Gen 5 gym sheenanigans
Miao?: but wouldn't he be the champion
Miao?: oh god
Miao?: biden's wallace
Jumpropeman joined the chat
RubyChao: hi jrm!
Jumpropeman rides in on a tentacruel
Gooper Blooper: that just reminds me of when Swoosh was first announced and everyone joked that the queen would be champion
Miao?: we stan queen leon
Midnight Sheep: No terribly interesting dreams on this front
Jumpropeman: i have had multiple dreams about me bringing back characters from season 2 who do not exist
Midnight Sheep: One did take place on the backdrop of some desert planet that also, coincidentally had mountain sized pugs that could be seen in the distance
Jumpropeman: almost as if my mind is trying to tell me about a Season 2 character I had that I've suppressed
Jumpropeman: but I just can't remember who
Miao?: time to throw satoshi at you in the brawl
Midnight Sheep: Pugs factored heavily into the planet's culture
Miao?: :)
Jumpropeman: the latest "fake Season 2 character" was a cute girl in comfy winter clothes whose thing was saying "So I was thinking..." to start her sentences. I was immediately endeared to her when she said "So I was thinking... why does no one talk about Super Bowl 1? The Super Bowl is a super huge deal but no one ever talks about the first one!"
Gooper Blooper: That
Miao?: is that a harpchar?
Gooper Blooper: actually sounds like a fun gimmick character
RubyChao: that is a very good question, jrm
Miao?: *vain as fuck*
Gooper Blooper: just a small cute girl swaddled in a big jacket who occasionally pipes up with seinfeldian observations
---
(Pokemon LeafGreen Randomizer)
Miao?: >surskit learned milk drink
Miao?: w
Miao?: uh
---
Jumpropeman: somebody made a map of which characters are playable in which parts of Brawl's Subspace Emissary and I feel like they have no graphical design background based on the mess it is
Dobile Mel: OOOOOF
Dobile Mel: That hurts to look at
festivel: dear god
RubyChao joined the chat
RubyChao: oh it can't be that bad- oh my god.
RubyChao: those look like fucking
RubyChao: circuit board cables
festivel: YOU WERE WARNED
---
Midnight Sheep: https://youtube.com/watch?v=CuF6xdOU4IM
pizza o’ clock: How is this thing not a noise complaints magnet
RubyChao: because who doesn't love the miser brothers
---
Gooper Blooper: Yeehaw! How y'all doin' now?
Midnight Sheep: Hello, Goops
Miao?: *slaps knee* Well I reckon I'm doin' mighty fine, Gooperino!
Midnight Sheep begins to slowly shut door, avoiding eye contact with Harpy
Miao?: look i have to be true to character
Miao?: which is why I boip back at jrm
Midnight Sheep draws blinds
Miao?: you know you love it :V
Midnight Sheep turns off lights
---
Gooper Blooper: 5:50
Gooper Blooper: fantastic.
Jumpropeman: and here I thought Eggette was the bratty one
Gooper Blooper: That's been the joke the whole time
Gooper Blooper: Celestia took in a couple of little shits and made them into good upstanding folks
Jumpropeman: she has that power
Gooper Blooper: I'm still entirely too proud of the "Eggette taunts MALP Alex by blowing bubbles in her soda" thing
Gooper Blooper: I hadn't thought about blowing bubbles in a drink in like two decades
Jumpropeman: that means you're drinking wrong
Jumpropeman: I remember suddenly remembering I am capable of blowing spit bubbles
Jumpropeman: can't say I do it much after the revelation
Gooper Blooper: I used to drink from a straw all the time and now I almost never do, which is probably the issue
Jumpropeman: next time you get fast food
Jumpropeman: do what you must do
---
Jumpropeman: "Lavinrac from the upcoming game Carnival Rhythm! She’s a feudal demon Lord who loves the taste of human flesh!"
Jumpropeman: yup, that's exactly the character I pictured reading the description
Gooper Blooper: I look forward to her RP debut
---
Jumpropeman: https://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/2646493
Gooper Blooper: If Missy wasn't a thing, Mona might have gotten the shovel knight push instead
Gooper Blooper: https://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/3133739
Jumpropeman: Missy (Shovel Knight) - 1
Jumpropeman: a crying shame
Gooper Blooper: she's got plenty of Pixiv art, particularly thanks to one specific artist who drew her a whole bunch
Jumpropeman: gotta love that kind of artist
---
Gooper Blooper: I did give it a fair go and tried to catch Lugia legit
Gooper Blooper: two attempts, 40 ultra balls, and 20 great balls later, I said screw it and master balled it
Miao?: i mean at least you weren't me with only a poke ball to catch a moltres
Miao?: not emulated.
Miao?: i reset so many times i found a shiny (and killed it)
Gooper Blooper: I found out online afterward that due to weird-ass gen 2 capture mechanics, the Heavy Ball is extremely good at catching Lugia, but I didn't have any of those anyway
Miao?: this was leaf green btw.
RubyChao: isn't the heavy ball one of the broken ones?
Gooper Blooper: No, it works correctly! But instead of using a multiplier, it ADDS to the formula. This makes it worse than an Ultra Ball for heavy Pokemon with medium-to-good catch rates, but it's useful on Snorlax and really good on Lugia, who was by far the heaviest legendary in Gen 2
Gooper Blooper: The Moon Ball, meanwhile, is supposed to be 3x effective if used on a pogey that evolves with a moon stone, but it was misprogrammed and instead only applies the multiplier if the Pokemon evolves with a Burn Heal
Gooper Blooper: naturally this means it is just a poke ball :V
festivel: ...that is a heck of a mistake
RubyChao: and then there's the fast ball
RubyChao: which worked on exactly three pokemon
Miao?: gee i wish the randomizer fixed that
RubyChao: and the love ball, which supports gay rights
Gooper Blooper: The Fast Ball is supposed to work well on Pokemon that are "fast". This was coded as Pokemon that have a chance of fleeing, but it's useless against the legendary beasts because it only actually applies the multiplier for the first three Pokemon listed in the data as having a flee chance
festivel: welp
Gooper Blooper: those pogeys are Grimer, Tangela, and Magnemite
Jumpropeman: well
Jumpropeman: i never knew grimer was so shy
Gooper Blooper: I think I see why most people stopped using apricorns when Pokeballs were invented.
RubyChao: "In Pokémon Gold, Silver, and Crystal, while it is intended to be more effective against Pokémon of the opposite gender, due to a glitch it has an 8× catch rate modifier against Pokémon of both the same species and gender as the player's active Pokémon, having a 1× modifier otherwise."
Jumpropeman: I somehow knew in my heart to not bother with the special balls back in the GSC days
Miao?: damn
Miao?: kurt really sucked at it, huh.
Jumpropeman: hey
Gooper Blooper: The Lure Ball works fine at least! 3x effective if the pogey was fished up with a rod, simple and works
RubyChao: it didnt help that the special balls were literally
RubyChao: 1 per day
Jumpropeman: if Kurt labelled them Gay Ball or Grimer & Tangela & Magnemite Ball instead
RubyChao: so you couldn't stockpile them
Jumpropeman: he'd be a genius
---
Jumpropeman: alrighty
Jumpropeman: I think its time
Miao?: to boip?
Jumpropeman: to meet a dear friend on the green
Gooper Blooper: yessssss
Miao?: wot
Gooper Blooper: he's playing pebble beach
Miao?: nice
Gooper Blooper: it's craig stadler time
Jumpropeman: "I'm Craig Stadler, and it's a great day for golf!" *freezes in place during slow load times*
RubyChao: it's such a great day he wants it to last forever
festivel: such a GREAT day for golf
Gooper Blooper: IT'S A GREAT DAY FOR RACING
Jumpropeman: accidentally skipped a Stadler appearance
Gooper Blooper: oh no!!
Jumpropeman: so he just flashed on the screen and disappeared
Jumpropeman: the ghost of stadler
Jumpropeman: it's me vs. stadler vs. some lady named mcguire
Jumpropeman: mcguire literally hit immediately into a sand trap, then wedged it into another sandtrap
Gooper Blooper: let's pretend she's bambietta basterbine
Jumpropeman: oh my god
Jumpropeman: she got a third sandtrap
Jumpropeman: stadler I get you want to look good
Jumpropeman: but don't nerf the competition so hard
Gooper Blooper: easily the worst thing about Pebble Beach is that Craig Stadler isn't playable
Gooper Blooper: Oh, that reminds me - I realized something last month and had Chao go check for me
Jumpropeman: you wouldn't be able to handle his power
Gooper Blooper: A year or two ago I gave him a complete set of old-school golf trading cards
Gooper Blooper: I told him to go flip through it
Gooper Blooper: The set has both Craig Stadler AND Greg Norman
RubyChao: no silver neelsen tho
Jumpropeman: so there's this caddie in mom jeans who joins me during the golf
Jumpropeman: if you go to the options and turn her off, you instead get a map of the hole you're on, but you can't have both
Gooper Blooper: You want a map AND two sprites on screen at once?! The Sega Saturn can only do so much!
Jumpropeman: reading the manual online
Jumpropeman: and it describes Stroke Play as "This is a friendly (or not so friendly) competition between you and a friend or three."
Jumpropeman: I'm gonna murder my friend in Pebble Beach Golf Links
Gooper Blooper: Craig Stadler's Fighting Golf
Jumpropeman: "Watch A Game"
Jumpropeman: "Watch Craig Stadler take on the competition"
Jumpropeman: well
Gooper Blooper: (I like how Game Hoard hasn't reviewed very many sports games, but when it does review a sports game, it's ALWAYS either winter sports or golf)
Jumpropeman: I know what mode I'm picking
Gooper Blooper: https://youtube.com/watch?v=d2COuwDtxiw
Jumpropeman: I was reflecting on how often golf comes up
Gooper Blooper: Kirby's Dream Course
Gooper Blooper: What The Golf
Gooper Blooper: 100ft Robot Golf
Gooper Blooper: "wait, it's all golf?" "Always has been"
RubyChao: link
Jumpropeman: in the Skins Play and Match Play modes, there is an option called Use Stadler
Jumpropeman: oh baby, I'd never use you
Jumpropeman: really though he will step in and make the shot for you
Jumpropeman: "The limit is 18 times per round"
Jumpropeman: so stingy, Pebble Beach
Gooper Blooper: XD
Gooper Blooper: oh god that got me good
Gooper Blooper: you get to be graced with Craig's presence, but only 18 times
Gooper Blooper: why is this game so wonderful
Gooper Blooper: Not necessarily GOOD
Gooper Blooper: but wonderful
Jumpropeman: "Larry Bundy Jr
4 months ago
Any video game where a Walrus offers golfing tips is great in my books!"
Gooper Blooper: ELLO YOU
Jumpropeman: "Stads’ wardrobe allowed him to be able to go directly to the bowling alley from the golf course every time, with no worry for dress code violations."
Gooper Blooper: "Just in case you forget about Craig Stadler, here’s a few motivational quips by Craig Stadler."
Gooper Blooper: "This is my aesthetic when I'm middle aged."
Jumpropeman: Watch A Game isn't as great as I thought, Craig is too quiet during it
Jumpropeman: he's got no one to praise or critique I guess, besides Three Sandtraps McGuire
Gooper Blooper: the real meat and potatoes is the hole intros your first time through
Gooper Blooper: he's got hot tips and tricks for every single one
Gooper Blooper: "of the dozens of games featuring a digitized craig stadler, this is my favorite"
Jumpropeman: I couldn't hear his Hole 5 tips because he just starts mumbling the end
Jumpropeman: "mbmrmbrParmbmr"
Gooper Blooper: XD
Gooper Blooper: well now I need to go listen to that again to confirm
Gooper Blooper: (yes, again, because a couple months back I watched all 18 hole intros)
Jumpropeman: on youtube I can make out the tips more clearly
Jumpropeman: he seems to taper off in volume on the saturn system
RubyChao: Saturn, why!?
RubyChao: Why would you hide his voice!?
Jumpropeman: im worried about turning my volume up too high, those between hole mambas get pretty loud
Jumpropeman: alright, think I found a good volume
Jumpropeman: I understood his Hole 7 intro completely
Gooper Blooper: didn't notice until now that the Hole 5 intro flourish syncs with him popping up
Gooper Blooper: love it
(later)
Jumpropeman: Craig Stadler critiqued his own shot =o "Hmmm, that made my shot a little rougher"
Jumpropeman: it's a pun too because he's in the rough :V
Jumpropeman: "The next shot is too difficult, I'm going to have to lay up"
Jumpropeman: I don't like this Craig, you're so hard on yourself ; w ;
Jumpropeman: Craig saying he needs to touch up his play on the next hole when he's kicking everyone's butt... Like, literally everyone, he's winning the tournament that has at least 12 players
Jumpropeman: you can individually set how many times you call in Craig Stadler to play for you and the screen for it is glorious
Jumpropeman: and so, as I log out, I leave you with his visage
(later)
Jumpropeman: since Pebble Beach's golf course has some short holes where you can drive right to the putting green, you can conceivably just give an entire turn of play to Craig for an easy birdie
Jumpropeman: he'll always assure you he can make the putt or do a good drive too so
Jumpropeman: Calm and Supportive Craig Stadler Wins Golf For You
Jumpropeman: not Caring and Supportive, we could only be so lucky
Gooper Blooper: Wonderful
Jumpropeman: besides, your adversary can also deploy their own Stadler
Jumpropeman: his D&D alignment is True Neutral
---
pizza o’ clock: Happ nu ear
pizza o’ clock: ...needs work
Jumpropeman joined the chat
Dobile Mel joined the chat
RubyChao joined the chat
RubyChao: hey folks
Dobile Mel: Happy new year
Jumpropeman: yo
Dobile Mel: Thank you for ten years of crazy shit and fun times
RubyChao: ten fuckin' years
RubyChao: imagine how wild it would have been to tell any of you in 2011
Jumpropeman: insanity
RubyChao: "hey, you're gonna be going strong after ten years"
RubyChao: "with no zoofights"
Dobile Mel: Yeah I would have laughed
RumKomodo: happy new year ya fuckin' clowns
RumKomodo: :D
Dobile Mel: I assumed I would have dropped out or something before then but here we are
Jumpropeman: I would be like "who is this red teardrop baby telling me about RP"
RumKomodo: same
---
RubyChao: link
pizza o’ clock: Hahaha
pizza o’ clock: ...get these characters in the anime
pizza o’ clock: right this second
Jumpropeman: I think there was a nintendo power vhs advertising Diddy Kong Racing where Diddy Kong broke up with his human girlfriend to go racing
pizza o’ clock: The fuck
pizza o’ clock: I don’t understand 90’s nintendo
RubyChao: *dolby smacks SK*
Jumpropeman: here it is at 3 minutes in
---
Midnight Sheep: This is all anyone needs to know about Brand New Animal
---
RubyChao: HAPPY 2021
Miao?: HAPPY NEW YEAR FOR YOU EAST COASTERS
Gooper Blooper: THERE IT IS
MobileDraco: Happy New Year!!! (in three hours)
festivel: and there's the fireworks
Gooper Blooper: GOOD RIDDANCE 2020, YOU WERE PRETTY LAME
Gooper Blooper: let's try this "new decade" thing again, for real this time
MobileDraco: Dracoplot 2020 was pretty okay though
Jumpropeman: enjoy 2021
RubyChao: wait
RubyChao: friends
RubyChao: it is finally the year 2021
RubyChao: we must make sealab real!
Jumpropeman sits in a chair and barely animates
---
Gooper Blooper: off to bed, nite frands
RubyChao: night!
Jumpropeman: goodnight!
Jumpropeman: happy new year!
Jumpropeman: don't party TOO HARD
Gooper Blooper: link
Jumpropeman: yer outta control D:
---
MobileDraco: Counting down to 2021 in Animal Crossing.
Jumpropeman: gosh, you're the only one wearing a mask!
Jumpropeman: how inconsiderate of the others ;p
Jumpropeman: that penguin is looking dapper and the alligator and monkey are pretty fly at least
Jumpropeman: looking at the island map and dang does it look nice and tidy
MobileDraco: Happy New Year!!!
Jumpropeman: Happy New Year!
Jumpropeman: to you AND regular Draco!
MobileDraco: Thanks!
---
Jumpropeman: link
Draco: A picture of Tenshi?
Gooper Blooper: she short
Jumpropeman: smol
Jumpropeman: "As captain of the Holy Knights, Charlotta is an exceptional warrior in constant battle with the greatest foe of all: an inferiority complex. After being saved by the holy knights, she worked herself to the bone to become their captain. She possesses a calm, steadfast personality, but she is quickly infuriated when the subject of her height comes up. Although proud in her position as captain, Charlotta nonetheless frets constantly about her undignified lack of physical stature, even going so far as to silently leave the knights in a quest to find something, anything, to make her taller."
Jumpropeman: "Hobbies : Training
Likes : Kids' meals, high places, tall people
Dislikes : Stairs, things on top of tall shelves"
Draco: She needs to make a wish on the Dragonballs to be five inches taller.
Jumpropeman: i do hope her good ending is her getting two inches taller and acting like it's a huge difference
202Ivel: lel Draco
RubyChao: that reminds me of how Frieza's wish in one of the movies was just to be five centimeters taller
RubyChao: when asked by his underling why not more, he explained you don't want it to be obvious
Midnight Sheep: Surely that has to be Abridged
Midnight Sheep: SURELY
RubyChao: Sheep.
---
Midnight Sheep: The Watch tv show based on some of Terry Pratchett's works is actually going to start to come out very soon after spending years in limbo
Midnight Sheep: 'Inspired by' might be better wording
Midnight Sheep: I don't believe it's based off any one book, and there's been some notable changes
Midnight Sheep: There's been some controversy and many very cynical takes on the show from people in the know, but I was still very curious until I saw one detail in the trailer that finally broke me
Midnight Sheep: Discworld You see Vimes drinking a few times through the trailer in that barely functioning anti-hero sort of way. In the books, Vimes is a once-alcoholic, who keeps a bottle of his favorite poison of choice in the bottom drawer of his desk as a permanent test. This is the metaphor of Vimes' place in the narrative in the Watch novels and of his own arcs within them. As an officer, Vimes is tested in each book. To follow the restraints of the law or leverage his position of power to circumvent it to what be wants. Always, Vimes is pulled in two in the books, with the temptation always there to give into his cynicism and darker impulses.
Midnight Sheep: I'm oddly depressed after seeing that trailer :V
Midnight Sheep visibly deflating
RubyChao: is it everything you never wanted
Midnight Sheep lies down
Midnight Sheep: Too depressed to even read this Thunder Fox review
Midnight Sheep: with its off-putting Dreamworks Eyebrow winking at me.
Jumpropeman: you make it sound like you're missing out on something by not reading about Thunder Fox
Midnight Sheep: I've never heard of it. Maybe it could be one of those hidden gems JRM talks about; finally unearthe-
Midnight Sheep: "Were I not playing Thunder Fox for the purposes of review, it is very likely that I would quickly forget about it entirely."
Midnight Sheep sinks deeper into the Earth
Gooper Blooper: XD
(It took literally days for Sheep to work up the energy to read this review.)
Midnight Sheep: It's time to force myself to read this Thunder Fox review
Midnight Sheep: ...
Midnight Sheep: Yes
Midnight Sheep: ......
Midnight Sheep: Really
Midnight Sheep: going to read this now
Midnight Sheep: ...............
Midnight Sheep: Yes
Jumpropeman: you only must read it once sheep
Gooper Blooper: Sheep, if you can read all those porn games, you can read about this generic arcade shooter
Gooper Blooper: just keep telling yourself "at least it's not porn"
Midnight Sheep: "Rather than giving a name to the enemy forces, there’s a “storm for terrorism” sweeping over the globe"
Midnight Sheep: Going to need a bigger umbrella.
Midnight Sheep: "and “the evil power of invasion” has its forces attack by land, sea, and sky"
Midnight Sheep: All you need to know is someone is doing something!
RubyChao: but what if sheep... LIKES the porn games
Gooper Blooper: I'm pretty sure we've established he doesn't
Midnight Sheep: "or by swinging something like the rocket launcher as an equally effective bludgeon"
Midnight Sheep: It becomes especially effective when the volatile ordinance inside goes off
Midnight Sheep: "As such, most action becomes incredibly mindless"
Midnight Sheep: Much like myself as I lurch through this review of a game so blandly mediocre, there's hardly anything to sink into to make a joke about
Midnight Sheep: "Like so many parts of the game, this technically adds to the experience, but with so little energy and in a way that doesn’t test the player in an interesting way"
Midnight Sheep: This game is like a fine dinner of air
Gooper Blooper: holographic meatloaf again
oops: wh
Midnight Sheep: "The first boss has an interesting idea of having to get grenades from enemy soldiers to deal damage to a tank"
Midnight Sheep: I can't believe they got Vulcan Raven for this
Midnight Sheep: "it seems fairly likely the multiplayer session will have been more about what you two talked about during the game rather than the action on-screen"
Midnight Sheep: Slap that tagline on the box!
Midnight Sheep: "Thunder Fox is a strange kind of bad."
Midnight Sheep: Our lead minds are puzzled and disturbed
Midnight Sheep: Clearly, this game should have been part of the Haunted Hoard
Midnight Sheep: Because what they did to what should have been high-octane action is pure horror
Midnight Sheep: "Ah yes, that classic arcade game with the guns and the muscular shirtless guys! Such a memorable arcade hit… I… uhh… What were we talking about again?"
Midnight Sheep: I feel asleep...
Midnight Sheep left the chat
---
Jumpropeman: little nightmares is free on xbox gold, so now I can play it after buying it on pc
MobileDraco: Yay
MobileDraco: Now review a fangame but make it Patrons only.
Jumpropeman reviews First Fantasy
Midnight Sheep: Review...
Midnight Sheep spins wheel
Midnight Sheep: Pyre.
Midnight Sheep: Every slot on the wheel says Pyre.
Midnight Sheep: How about that.
202Ivel: oh nope
Jumpropeman: ivel just cancelling the Pyre wheel
202Ivel: it landed on a microscopic spot called "Another weird adult game"
Jumpropeman: good idea ivel
Jumpropeman: I have at least like seven in my Game Key Pile
202Ivel: clearly you need to save those for a Valentine's week ;U
Jumpropeman: I was thinking more Adult Game August
Gooper Blooper: you've seen Week Of Love, now get ready for Week Of Lewd
Gooper Blooper: Goopsbro has informed me that the PSPlus PS5 free game for January is... Maneater :V
202Ivel: yup!
Jumpropeman: one game I was sent is AHEGAL which has actual naked women on its steam page
Gooper Blooper: that name
---
Jumpropeman: it is our god-given right to complain about video games
MobileDraco: Kirby Super Star ruined Kirby forever.
Gooper Blooper: Kirby was great until Kirby's Dream Land came out, that ruined him
Gooper Blooper regurgitates the Rhydon Game Freak joke
Jumpropeman: Kirby should have stuck to not copying powers
Jumpropeman: spitting things out has so much more potential!
MobileDraco: Kirby should have stuck to being in Smash.
Jumpropeman: Kirby should ride a harley davidson and drink whiskey
MobileDraco: Yeah!
---
Miao?: hi jump kick is basically "IF I DON'T MISS YOU FUCKED BOI"
Gooper Blooper: hi jump kick is "savestate before using" :V
Miao?: ha
Miao?: thats the strat :V
MobileDraco: lol
MobileDraco: Name the Pokemon with Hi Jump Kick "Savescum"
Gooper Blooper: I like how Hi Jump Kick just kept getting more and more extreme with every gen
Gooper Blooper: Gen 1: 85 base power, if you miss you take 1 HP damage
Gooper Blooper: Gen 2: crash damage is 1/8 the damage it WOULD have done
Gooper Blooper: Gen 3: crash damage is HALF the damage it would have done
Miao?: thats a guaranteed death
Gooper Blooper: Gen 4: base power rises to 100
Gooper Blooper: Gen 5: base power rises to a ludicrous 130, and crash damage is half the user's HP no matter what
Miao?: yep, thats gen 5, though it looks like it was 1/4th HP
Miao?: when i missed
Gooper Blooper: after that they were finally satisfied and stopped fucking with it
MobileDraco: lol
---
Jumpropeman: Im canceling my free amazon prime I got for christmas
Jumpropeman: and its like "Wait! You'll lose these benefits!"
Jumpropeman: and I click to see them, first thing on the page? A discount on a Trump hat
Jumpropeman: thanks for making it easy to quit
pizza o’ clock: Kek
pizza o’ clock: You had one job, amazon recommendations
pizza o’ clock: and you fucked it up
---
The Deleter: https://youtube.com/watch?v=aegAuQ2_xhA
Jumpropeman: what a strange man nintendo invented
The Deleter: He's great
---
Gooper Blooper: link
oops: nice
Draco: A picture of Oda, Nobu, Scars, Pudge, and Grovebu
Draco: Pudge is the one in the cow costume. It's her new PJs.
---
Draco: Be back in a bit. Gotta nuke West Virginia.
oops: please leave delaware and maryland out of this, thank you
Midnight Sheep: They've had it too good for too long.
---
Jumpropeman: you know what was weird
N Goat: Yes
Jumpropeman: putting down 2021 instead of 2020 today
N Goat: Oh
Jumpropeman: we're on the other side now
N Goat: The weirdness I was thinking of was the many shapes of fungus
Jumpropeman: that's not weird
Jumpropeman: that's wonderful
N Goat: weirdful
Jumpropeman: that reminds me of Bay Bolete, my rejected 2019/2020 character who would appear without prompting in RP with the single sentence post "There's a mushroom on the bar" and it would turn out it's a fungus whose toadstools manifest when it intersects with our perceivable plane, but it's actually a sixth or so dimensional being we can't accurately perceive
Jumpropeman: it wouldn't be able to talk, you'd just be informed your character somehow gained the knowledge as if they were spoken to
N Goat: Oh, I see
Jumpropeman: IM GONNA RP FUNGUS ONE DAY SO HELP ME
N Goat: I PROBABLY WILL TOO
Gooper Blooper: Been a while since the last JRM Rejects blogpost... but it's also been a while since the last GB Rejects blogpost, and if he's anything like me it's because The Curse and Salvagers made it easy to slap in a reject for a brief appearance so they technically aren't rejected
Jumpropeman: my problem is I remember my rejects so sporadically
Jumpropeman: I've been slapping them in rp just so they don't escape completely
Jumpropeman: slapping them in chat I mean
Jumpropeman: the whole point is they aren't in RP :V
Gooper Blooper: gotta keep track of your rejects so you can remember to tell us you thought about roleplaying as Amelia Bedelia for a few seconds in 2018
---
Draco: link
Jumpropeman: Sumi leaving RP
RubyChao: the show i have on just used the word "esoteric"
RubyChao: and of course
RubyChao: immediately thought of salami
Jumpropeman: too bad she's gone
Draco: Yep. She got snapped.
RubyChao: just
RubyChao: like
RubyChao: ME
RubyChao left the chat
Draco: D:
---
Jumpropeman: add Beffica from Bugsnax to the list of "is that Edea's voice again?" characters
---
RubyChao: link
Jumpropeman: honoka could have the higher body count with just one day of poisoned bread!
Cornwind Evil: Presented: an episode about Honoka
---
Gooper Blooper: link
oops: but why
Draco: Blessed ;o;
Draco: Ascending the lovely ladies and that other one of Valhalla to the level of The 'Bob? A miracle. ;-;
---
Cornwind Evil: "I rented Blast Corps once and that game has one built-in save slot. To erase it and start over, you have to hold the start button on console power-up, but there was no way to know this without the manual. So when I played it, all the levels were beat already. For those who don't know, the goal in each Blast Corps level is to blow up buildings that are blocking the path of a (slow) runaway vehicle. Once you do that, you are free to re-enter any level and clean up any remaining buildings and find the collectables. So the game I got to play was just a bunch of levels missing 90% of their buildings with no goals, objectives, or instruction ever presented."
---
oops: since i want this character to play off of MAGIC, who is a kitsune who has to actually study things to transform into them unless she wants things to go wrong, I think they could get away with hearing or seeing basic things off a reference and boom, they can change whatever parts they want
oops: with the drawback that if the reference is in any way flawed, so is the transformation
oops: like, if he sees a ref pic of Pitohui with absurdly long legs, he's going to shift his legs into a very awkward, probably very wrong leggy pitohui
oops: damn i spoiled the gender, oops
Hooded Pitohui: Oh, now that sounds like a very workable angle. So, in theory, they could get a basic reference, but they have an incentive to get a full view if they can at all, to minimize the risk of getting it wrong.
RubyChao: so this one
oops: basically!
oops: researching is too much effort, lets just google the first ref pic and do it-
oops: also those legs hurt me
oops: emotionally
oops: also i just realized the tanuki could end up with yaoi hands and that's either hilarious or terrifying
oops: also he can't turn parts of his body into materials nor can he copy inanimate objects like MAGIC can
RubyChao: so
Midnight Sheep: oh no
oops: he has restrictions
RubyChao: this will definitely happen, right?
RubyChao: he will turn into yuugi with 20ft legs
oops: that's just someone's horrible fanart that got traction and thats the first thing he sees
oops: those legs will be powerful, but unbalanced
oops: i can't say "just like a baby giraffe" because how the fuck would i know
---
Jumpropeman: every time I checked the nintendo news today they were removing something else. DsiWare, the Lego City games, the Netflix app
Jumpropeman: I'm scared to check again
Gooper Blooper: A PLANNED OBSOLESCENCE HAS FALLEN INTO THE RIVER IN NINTENDO CITY
Gooper Blooper: HEY!
Draco: Next they'll remove your credit card so you can't not buy the newest Shovelware. Now That's Dancing 7 for the DSi anyone? ;V
Jumpropeman: it's called shovelware for a reason! I need to use my shovel for something!
Jumpropeman: otherwise it'll get dusty
RubyChao: jrm
RubyChao: they are removing
RubyChao: Games
RubyChao: no more nintendo games
RubyChao: enjoy the old ones
Jumpropeman: makes my goal both easier and harder
Gooper Blooper: the next Nintendo system will only play Super Mario Brothers 1 and, for a limited time only, Super Mario World
Draco: You can still play Doom though.
---
Jumpropeman begins planning on how to make a high stakes Musical Chair plot
Gooper Blooper: Koala Princess flailing into the bar in a panic because we gotta save the musical chair league
Jumpropeman begins planning high stakes Duck Duck Goose plot
Draco: Blasto returns in..."Duck Duck MURDER"
---
Jumpropeman: mildly concerned that Furmins, in the console section that usually says PS3, Ps Vita, or PS4 just says
Jumpropeman: NONE
Jumpropeman: all capitals
Jumpropeman: Furmins is for NOTHING
Jumpropeman: NO ONE gets to play
Gooper Blooper: Terrifying.
---
Cornwind Evil: I finally caught up on One Piece
Cornwind Evil: Where are you, JRM
Jumpropeman: my house
Jumpropeman: but also chapter 710, dressrosa
Midnight Sheep: I can't believe JRM lives in Dressrosa.
Jumpropeman: ive been a living toy the whole time
Cornwind Evil: Oh geeze you haven't even gotten into the first of the explosions there
Cornwind Evil: I use explosions as an allegory
Jumpropeman: cornwind- okay
RubyChao: yeah what cornwind means here is dressrosa has A Lot Of Big Moments
Cornwind Evil: It might also depending as your future assessment be literal, but who can say except you, in the future.
RubyChao: and you have yet to reach them
RubyChao: rather than a literal one
Jumpropeman: The Allegory of the Explosion
Midnight Sheep: The title of JRM's memoirs?
Cornwind Evil: ...wait Chao where are you
Jumpropeman: his house
Cornwind Evil: IN ONE PIECE, SMARTARSE
Midnight Sheep: I can't believe Chao lives on Longring Longland
Jumpropeman: yes he is in one piece
RubyChao: me?
Cornwind Evil starts adding stairs to the staircase.
---
RubyChao: look at this big dumb nerd
RubyChao: look at her.
Its About CATS: NERD
Gooper Blooper: If people's size was based on how nerdy they were, Sumireko Usami would be a kaiju
---
Jumpropeman: this image is labelled "Everyone going to Pfizer for their Covid vaccines"
Gooper Blooper: oh no
Gooper Blooper: JRM found that guy
RubyChao: oh god that guy
RubyChao: is there no way to block an individual account's results
Gooper Blooper: I tried, using DA's new tag block, but it doesn't work. You have to do like a google search and include a minus symbol and then their username
Mid Sheep: You know what
Mid Sheep: I'm not going to ask
RubyChao: oof.
Jumpropeman: surprisingly, they attribute every character to the proper copyrights in the notes
RubyChao: that's the problem, jrm! :V
Draco: Ugh.
Jumpropeman: i usually don't search devart for fanart compared to other sources so now I have a reason to avoid it more :V
Gooper Blooper: I found Inch High Private Eye
Gooper Blooper: Towards the bottom, under Minerva Mink. If you see a pig, you've gone too far
Mid Sheep: Chatzy Madness Volume 8 1/2: If You See A Pig, You've Gone Too Far
Draco: Going to bed. Later, gang.
Gooper Blooper: nite draco
RubyChao: later drac
Mid Sheep: Seeya
Jumpropeman: make sure to go to pfizer with everyone else
Jumpropeman: Inch High on his flying fart cloud I see
Jumpropeman: I like how near the top left there's just a bunch of legs where the artist didn't crop characters correctly
Gooper Blooper: I like how some of the characters are so small you can't tell who they are, even with the picture's absurd resolution
Gooper Blooper: check out the very bottom right
Gooper Blooper: imagine if all the characters were that small
Jumpropeman: its so confusing on how they select who they redrew, who they use official art of, and who they grab a random t-posing 3D model of
Jumpropeman: why use a Patrick Star video game model instead of regular art for example
Gooper Blooper: because it matches their artistic vision of exactly how Patrick would look when getting his covid vaccine
Jumpropeman: he's t-posing to make it easier to inject his arm
Gooper Blooper: seymour skinner is gonna t-pose his way to the end of the pandemic and don't you forget it
RubyChao: and also while in bangor, maine, at the boston public garden, singing a super sentai theme song...
Jumpropeman: I'm glad all 8 versions of Lucille Ball showed up so she won't get covid at any place in life
Gooper Blooper: XD
RubyChao: holy shit goops i found the solution
RubyChao: if you block the user outright it hides all results from them in search
RubyChao: it works!!
Gooper Blooper: Oh!
Gooper Blooper: Excellent, I need to try that with a few troublesome uploaders
Jumpropeman: man, if only I know that back in the day
Gooper Blooper: What happened to me another time was, I was looking for Lord Dominator pictures and I got five hundred zillion character profiles
RubyChao: so, ZFRP-
Gooper Blooper: because this one guy is doing a massive crossover and approximately half of his villains count Lord Dominator as a friend or ally so she's tagged in the description
RubyChao: so, ZFRP-
Gooper Blooper: I got around him by including "-biography"
Jumpropeman: link
RubyChao: seductive.
Jumpropeman: late night calls with Giggle
Gooper Blooper: rockin that hella jeff porkchop mouth
Jumpropeman: link
Jumpropeman: "Inch High actually stands 4 7/8" tall"
Jumpropeman: YOU FOOL
Jumpropeman: YOU MESSED UP THE ONE IMPORTANT DETAIL
Gooper Blooper: was all set to copy-paste that XD
Mid Sheep left the chat
RubyChao: rename him Five Inch Private Eye
Jumpropeman: sheep wasn't having it
Gooper Blooper goes on a mad blocking spree
Gooper Blooper: thank you chao
RubyChao: HE'S OUTTA CONTROL
Jumpropeman: the most awkward part of Inch's childhood was hoping he'd grow to be the exact size of his name
---
(Chao is watching Sword Art Online. He is unable to convince Sheep to join him.)
RubyChao: i love how this is literally just
RubyChao: all the other characters stand around while kirito saves the day
RubyChao: it's peak SAO
RubyChao: oh my god he just turned back into original kirito, nevermind, NOW it's peak SAO
Mid Sheep: oh dear
Mid Sheep: Well, I'll just have fun over here
Mid Sheep: NOT watching SAO
RubyChao: BURN WITH ME
Mid Sheep: The FuryChao
---
pizza o’ clock: “WELCOME TO YOUR DOOM” “okay”
---
RubyChao: "I love how, in basically any game, given enough time, optimal gameplay evolves to a point where the protagonist's actions make absolutely no sense at all in-universe and would make any other character in the world go completely insane watching the dude zip through objects, manipulate spacetime and distort the very fabric of existence to reach the end faster."
---
Jumpropeman: i played Five Nights at Freddys 2 today and let me tell you, that enragement child can certainly inhale something
202Ivel: lel jrm
Gooper Blooper: "hello"
Gooper Blooper: "hi"
Gooper Blooper: *laughter intensifies*
---
Brinehammer joined the chat
Brinehammer freezes and then stares directly into the single camera.
Brinehammer slowly backs out of the room without turning around.
---
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