RubyChao: evil entities are not known for their spelling
Harp-e: plzz
Harp-e: ruby play the super metroid instead of creepypasta
Harp-e: :U
SteelKomodo: ben pls go home
SteelKomodo: you're drunk
RubyChao: ben attempts to harass the kobbers in 2014
RubyChao: is limited by the fact that he's a statue
Harp-e: Widow Maker crushes the hell out of his logic
Harp-e: widow maker for first lady
RubyChao: logic is so crushed that he just explodes entirely
SteelKomodo: lolz
---
RubyChao: "The more times I hit him, the more crumpled he looked, and after about seven hits, Koops spun around once and bursted into shreds of paper. Once the battle was over, Mario appeared to be back in Rougeport, standing on the gallows (the place where they hang people.), and Goombella was missing from my party. The town had a darker tone to it, the colors were darker, and when you try to talk to people, it doesn't work. In fact, you could walk through the people."
SteelKomodo: D:
RubyChao: TERRIFYING
RubyChao: "Not sure what to do, I walked up to Luigi and tried to interact with him. Upon clicking the A button... Mario fell down to the ground dead. Not gory, just the usual game over animation, with the game over music."
Gooper Blooper: Chao I'm scarred for life, I hope you're happy
Gooper Blooper: That was the illustrations of Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark in text form
RubyChao: i am happy, as video game creepypastas give me POWEEEEER
RubyChao hulks up and turns into SuperChao
---
Gooper Blooper: One of my favorite things about this Godzilla playset I bought is the tagline on the back of the box. It says "Save the city!"
Gooper Blooper: this is funny because the "military" that comes with the set consists of two helicopters, two jets, and a boat
Gooper Blooper: against Godzilla
Gooper Blooper: um
SteelKomodo: so long
Gooper Blooper: And then there's Muto
Gooper Blooper: And I don't know much about Muto but from looking at him I don't think he's going to save anything either
SteelKomodo: probably not :U
RubyChao: RIP the city
RubyChao: died of godzilla
---
RubyChao: ORIGINAL THE GAME
RubyChao: DONUT STEAL
Gooper Blooper: *googles ORIGINAL THE GAME based on the url*
Gooper Blooper: "- 3 different worlds, one Castle and a lot of levels!
- Different enemies
- Perfect music
- Jump on platforms
- Bob character with more then 20 different movements
- Search for hidden items"
Gooper Blooper: Let's go over these one at a time. According to one of the reviews...
Gooper Blooper: When you go in the castle you instantly go to a Star Select screen. The "worlds" are three different stars in Bob-Omb Battlefield
Gooper Blooper: Can't figure out what the "lot of levels" could be
Gooper Blooper: "Different enemies" - there's only one enemy type and it can't kill you
Gooper Blooper: "Perfect music" - Can't say. The review says the track that plays is new
Gooper Blooper: "Jump on platforms" - yeah okay sure, "Bob character with more than 20 movements" - He can move and jump, none of Mario's other abilities
Gooper Blooper: "Search for hidden items" - One of the three missions is an 8 Red Coins mission, so I guess that's the hidden items
Gooper Blooper: lel
RubyChao: i still love how jumping on platforms is an exciting new feature
---
RubyChao: "The SA-X jumped at Samus with its screw attack. It sawed Samus in half. The timer stopped. One half of Samus fell forward, and the other fell back. Slight drips of blood came from Samus's dead body."
RubyChao: kobber jobber
Gooper Blooper: god dammit samus
Gooper Blooper: she's even worse of a jobber in these pastas
SteelKomodo: D:
RubyChao: pastasamus is actually other m samus
RubyChao: she's not authorized to live
---
Gooper Blooper: proof edea is the fifth sarahkin
Gooper Blooper: part 1
Gooper Blooper: part 2
Gooper Blooper: part 3
Harp-e: holy shit
Harp-e: Edea is pure sarah
Gooper Blooper: also note what we haven't said much about until now
Gooper Blooper: her glorious idiot hair
---
RubyChao: Bowser knows everything he needs to win except when he doesn't
---
RubyChao: "The backdrop was World 8, and Bowser was in the title screen. His skin was darker and more reddish, and his eyes were pure white. The music sounded like Giygas. Instead of New Super Mario Bros. U, the title said "Bowser's Vengeance". Zack was very horrified by this point but continued."
Harp-e: dude
Harp-e: seriously
Harp-e: fucking shut the game down
---
Harp-e: I'll be ready in about 10 minutes
Harp-e: *actually plays panel de pon for those minutes*
---
RubyChao: oh god i just had a mental image about the pit rpg
RubyChao: tell y/n
SteelKomodo: y
SteelKomodo: much y
RubyChao: pit defeats the final boss i.e. the villain trying to destroy the world
RubyChao: rushes back to the kidnapper's lair to save okuu
RubyChao: meets her outside free as a bird with one foot standing on a pile of defeated kidnappers
RubyChao: "Where were you?"
SteelKomodo: XD
SteelKomodo: "Um... trying to save you?
RubyChao: "Oh, thanks! I saved myself just fine, don't worry~"
SteelKomodo: "...Well! Good to know~"
---
RubyChao: >trying to watch an anime episode
RubyChao: >the subtitles are 5 seconds beyond the dialogue
RubyChao: whyyyy
---
Saberwulf: Oh god the Space Dandy OST got released
Saberwulf: It's... It's beautiful
Saberwulf: My god Stardust Pipeline is five fucking minutes long
Saberwulf: It's amazing in full holy shit
SteelKomodo: you're gonna gush about it until our ears fall off, aren't you
Saberwulf: MAYBE
Draco: Not if we gush you first! >BV
Draco shanks Saberwulf with a cane of candy.
Saberwulf changed name to Dedberwulf
Draco: Beiberwulf?
Dedberwulf: Dedberwulf
Dedberwulf rattles bones
SteelKomodo: Skeleberwulf
Draco: Ooooooh! It's Cap'n Bones! Got any puzzles for us! :V
Dedberwulf: Captain Bones is Del's gig, I'm just a lowly skeleton in a barrel
Dedberwulf awaits adventurers dumb enough to open barrel
Draco: It'll be Scooby Doo and John Cena opening the barrel.
SteelKomodo: lolz
RubyChao: dammit draco
RubyChao: don't spoil my plans that next year i'll be rping Cena and Scooby as buddy cops
---
Gooper Blooper: This is my 600th chatzy log
Gooper Blooper: we use this thing a lot
RubyChao: we do
---
RubyChao: "one day silver was in the ruins of alph completeing his unown colection but then on the pokegear the radio was doing this strange music and unowns were surrounding him. he barley figured out that they spelled LEAVE. he ran and relized that the music was going in a endless loop. he relized that the was trapped. he was falling apart. he took a photo and died. many days later gold found his pokegear and there was the picture. silver was sheading blody tears and only his head was remaining."
RubyChao: this is the entire story
Gooper Blooper: I was just about to ask if it was
Gooper Blooper: Starting with "one day" made me think so
Gooper Blooper: our RP has a long way to go
RubyChao: we need to get that guy to tell us how to improve our writings
---
Dedberwulf: Shit, I can't think of a name for an auto-translator
Dedberwulf: Chet has one clipped to his ear but I can't come up with a brand name
RubyChao: Transatron
Dedberwulf: pff
Gooper Blooper: BabelFish 2000
SteelKomodo: Babeltron
Gooper Blooper: LotsAndLotsOfTrans
Dedberwulf: AKA my recent writing
Dedberwulf rimshot
Harp-e: TRANSLaction
Gooper Blooper: lel
---
RubyChao: "This is a creepypasta about Mario Kart Wii. Warning: Contains an insane amount of Neon Genesis Evangelion references and at least a few Sonic.exe references."
RubyChao: quality
RubyChao: "Well, that was different, but not too far off from most online creepypastas. There was the obvious "Characters speaking things that weren't originally in the game" cliché. All in all I didn't really enjoy this creepypasta, as it felt rushed. 3.5/10."
RubyChao: "So I see my things will go unrealized. Fuck this shit, fuck you SOG, and I'm fucking done with you."
SteelKomodo: D:
Gooper Blooper: one person didn't like it
Gooper Blooper: TIME TO RETIRE FOREVER
---
SteelKomodo: I'm watching people watching a documentary about bones
---
RubyChao: "When I got to coolrom.com, I found a new emulator for nes called JNES, it was given a massive 5/5 rating which is hard to get to with a new emulator so I decieded to download it, I unziped it and extracted it. When I loaded it up it already had a game installed on it, it was called SMW.exe, with my smartness I clicked it. It came up with an error message, Error, UPDATE 6.66 REQUIRED!, it had only download as an option, i though this was weird but i had to do it as only days from next gen."
Gooper Blooper: "update 6.66"
Gooper Blooper: brb looking for reaction image
SteelKomodo: Damn it satan stop messing with our classic video games
Gooper Blooper: found one
RubyChao: beautiful
SteelKomodo: Amazing
---
RubyChao: "Then lightning flased, and a shadow of luigi could be seen. Hanging in the air. Then a message box popped up saying: Congradulations! You have won the game. You killed mario and luigi. Its all your fault adam."
Gooper Blooper: that might be the best quote yet chao
Gooper Blooper: he's trying so goddamn hard to spook
RubyChao: hey goops you haven't heard what happened next
RubyChao: "When I woke up, I took the game, and drove out to the store. When I arrived, there were cop cars and ambulances. In the morning, the store burned down and killed my friend in the blaze. But when we got inside we saw somthing horrifing. In the back storage room, my boss hung himself out of guilt that all of his employes died. They found the man that day. He stood trial without any lawyer. His only defence was I warned you Adam. Its all your fault. he was sentenced to life in prision."
Gooper Blooper: never sleep again
---
Dedberwulf: Look at this dumb toad
RubyChao: that sure is a toad
Dedberwulf: It's so genetically unique, Humans have more in comman with bats than this fucker has with other amphibians
---
RubyChao: "The link, however, had me a bit confused. Several comments on the link said not to download it. I foolishly disregarded them and downloaded it."
RubyChao: creepypasta_protagonists.txt
Gooper Blooper: Horror protags in general, really
---
Gooper Blooper: game boy color FMV
Gooper Blooper: that music though
SteelKomodo: What
Gooper Blooper: woh neffa ben somuch thun
---
Del Redux: why is wulf ded
Gooper Blooper: another wulf character is going to be grandiosely killed off only to return in even more spectacular fashion
Dedberwulf: Draco stabbed me
Gooper Blooper: par for the course
SteelKomodo: D:
Dedberwulf: At this point the only character that could die is David, and if he gets killed he'll immediately walk back into the room and brush his corpse under the rug
RubyChao: rip in advance chet
Dedberwulf: "Ya missed, you git!"
RubyChao: but what does he do when people trip over the david-corpse-shaped-lump
Del Redux: pretend it's the cat
Dedberwulf: "Oi, your shoe's untied mate"
---
Del Redux: THE KING HAS BEEN MODDED BACK IN
SteelKomodo: I KNEW THEY'D DO IT SOMEDAY
Gooper Blooper: I CALLED IT
SteelKomodo: OUR RIGHTFUL KING HAS RETURNED ETC
SteelKomodo: I CALLED IT FIRST GOOPS AAAAAA
Gooper Blooper: SKELETON NIGHT
Del Redux: RETURN OF THE SKELETON KING
RubyChao: HE LIVES
RubyChao: HE SHALL TAKE YOUR BONES
Gooper Blooper changed name to Rafiki
Rafiki: the king
Rafiki: has returned
Rafiki changed name to Gooper Blooper
---
Draco: Like it or not, it's time for the Kobber Report!
Dedberwulf: woo
Draco: Good news to begin with: Kobber survived with only minimal damage!
Waddler-D: Hey Draco and... Kobber?
Dedberwulf: The people rejoice
Draco: Kobber is my Pathfinder character, Waddler.
Draco: Bad news: he earned himself a little title: Kobber the Impotent. He went three for three trying to penetrate monsters' spell resistance.
RubyChao: named for the kobbers which is the collective name of half our RP characters
Dedberwulf: pfff
Harp-e: can't even penetrate shit man
Draco: His contributions consisted primarily of casting buffs on the fighters while staying out of harm's way.
Harp-e: ...i could make a dick joke but uh
Draco: It's already been made for you.
Harp-e: i know, such a dick
Draco: He did have two sterling moments though: the boss didn't have Spell Resistance so Kobber was able to rain Magic Missiles on him (he would've used a Lightning Bolt but a monk jumped in his firing path).
Draco: The other moment came when the party was attacked by a slime. Kobber started casting a Summon spell during the surprise round and on his turn summoned a Fire Beetle in the slime's path. Not only did the Fire Beetle land a big hit (5 whole damage) but it also forced the slime to use its attack on it instead of on valuable party members.
Draco: A brief memorial service was held for Clicky the Celestial Fire Beetle after the session.
RubyChao: clicky ;-;7
Draco: Because it was a Celestial Fire Beetle, it sort of counted as a Paladin and used a Smite on the slime. He was a noble soul.
---
Dedberwulf: I'm currently making a GURPS character for a game, and she's a giant asshole sellsword with terrible manners
Dedberwulf: "Ye olde fuckwads"
---
Harp-e: i apparently can't stop making characters worth a damn so i need to play every tabletop RPG imaginable
Waddler-D: Uh oh, Harpy's going mad with creativity!
Dedberwulf: Haha
Harp-e: i've been like this ever since I made terrible fanfiction
Harp-e: i have since gotten better
Waddler-D: You're definitely not running fanfic quality stuff from what I've read. Definitely enjoyable stuff!
Dedberwulf: ^
Harp-e: hahaha we don't talk about my fanfictions here
Harp-e: because they are nonexistent
Harp-e: :I
Harp-e: also wulf you can't say that because now i'll have to say this
Harp-e: WULF'S WRITING BLOWS LIKE A GOOD...UM...EXPLOSION
Harp-e: i was going to make a really dirty joke but then uh
the poop says everyone is awesome
the poop: Could you deny the poop?
RubyChao: go write pitsuho fanfiction
RubyChao: you know you want to :U
Harp-e: don't tempt me
RubyChao tempts you
Harp-e: this is awkward, poop
Harp-e: usually poop shit, i don't talk to shit
Harp-e: if I do that, chao, I'm gonna end up doing it during a stream and then waddler will destroy me
RubyChao: it will be a sacrifice we have to make
Draco: I wrote a Pitsuho fanfic. It was Star Wars Episode 1 but with all ZFRP and pop culture people.
Draco: (Utsuho is Anakin and Pit is Sebulba.)
RubyChao: utsuho becomes Darth Raven
RubyChao: attempts to blow up the earth, accidentally blows up the moon instead
Draco: Utsuho spends three movies whining about people from Moga Village, then blows up Sarah's home planet.
Harp-e: sarah flies up and destroys her
Harp-e: you can't just destroy her planet like that
Harp-e: you destroyed her sweets stash
Draco: Utsuho's mom, Gezora, is killed by black mages.
Draco: And in the thrilling climax, Utsuho fights her son, Zephyrus, for the evil Emperor Custard Kitten's enjoyment.
RubyChao: the family tree was very confusing
Harp-e: the shit is this
Draco: Bloopa Fett captured Han Poseilo and took him to Jabba the Draco.
Draco: (Bet you thought it was gonna be Sarah the Hutt.)
---
RubyChao: "Just one year after the murders of 8 Year old Tails The Fox, 10 Year Old Mega The Hedgehog, 14 Year Old Sneaky The Hedgehog and 12 Year Old Joshua the hedgehog."
RubyChao: RIP original the characters
---
Belinda: https://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mb6htkdPKX1rr6m5r.png
Del Redux: thanks wikipedia
Del Redux: "Hey boss, I can't come to work today..."
"Johnson, you better have a damn good excuse this time or you're sacked!"
"I broke my dick, boss."
Del Redux: thanks imgur
---
Spainting: We were on Badwater Basin in TF2
Spainting: I was at his house, suggested he switch to Heavy and take out the protest sign
Spainting: Then march forward, doing nothing but spam No and Boo
Spainting: This ended with a five-heavy train of protesters constantly marching forward before being utterly wrecked by the enemy team
Spainting: A Scout bodyguarding them all
Spainting: A Demoman on the enemy team trying a counter-protest
SteelKomodo: XD
Spainting: It was amazing. Half the team, just waddling pacifist heavies
---
Del Redux: i'm going to post the game
Del Redux: gonna do it
Del Redux: here i go
Del Redux: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Del Redux spends 5 episodes powering up
---
Belinda: 4 u, ruby
RubyChao: i did not know i needed this in my life
---
RubyChao: Fun Metroid Fact:
RubyChao: i am quite sure metroid prime may have a record for fewest starting gear items
RubyChao: that or metroid 1/zero mission, actually
Gooper Blooper: What gear do you start with?
RubyChao: Prime gives you a few gear items to play around with at the beginning but you lose them after an explosion while escaping the pirate ship
SteelKomodo: ah
RubyChao: so your REAL starting gear is the Power Suit and Power Beam
RubyChao: and that's it
RubyChao: (Echoes did the same start with some gear and then lose it, as well as explaining how you recollect it later on)
Gooper Blooper: The NES version gives Samus her suit, a beam that travels about three feet in front of her, and half an energy tank
RubyChao: >half an energy tank
RubyChao: i think it wins
Gooper Blooper: Yes, half. You start the game damaged.
Gooper Blooper: I guess there was turbulence
RubyChao: she jobbed at landing
---
RubyChao: my playing super metroid can be summed up in nine words
RubyChao: "oh wait, i was supposed to go there instead"
---
Belinda: i am back with a milkshake
RubyChao: yaaay
RubyChao: what flavor
Belinda: chocolate
RubyChao: excellent
RubyChao: anyhow in echoes you start with some gear but then in a cutscene the Ing (main villains) steal it
SteelKomodo: Damn it ing
RubyChao: and in fact you have to beat up the Item Guardians later on to get it back
RubyChao: Bomb Guardian, Jump Guardian, etc
Belinda: fart guardian
RubyChao: wow harpy
RubyChao: wow
Gooper Blooper: delicious chocolate milkshake
Gooper Blooper: *slow*
Belinda: i claim this milkshake in the name of Harpykin
SteelKomodo: Milkshake Guardian
Belinda: samus faces off Sarah for the milkshake
Gooper Blooper: Samus drinks the milkshake as the powerup jingle plays
SteelKomodo: Lolz
Belinda: suddenly gets a milkshake beam
Belinda: "but my ice beam does the same job"
Belinda: wins against ridley by using milkshake beam and he ends up fat and sluggish
Draco: Samus battles Sarah, runs out of power before battle ends.
Belinda: you cannot defeat sarah
SteelKomodo: You can't kill the Sarah
SteelKomodo: The Sarah will live on
SteelKomodo: (a cookie for anyone who gets the reference)
Gooper Blooper: Garland tried to kill the Sarah
Gooper Blooper: he failed
Gooper Blooper: and he was stricken down to the ground
SteelKomodo: Yissss
SteelKomodo: \m/
Gooper Blooper: (by a train)
Draco: Sarah then suplexed the train.
SteelKomodo: It was Gloria that did that, actually :U
Gooper Blooper: Gloria summoned it but she never suplexed it
Gooper Blooper: I think Zephyrus is the only kobber to suplex a train
Draco: Sarahkin have Maxed-out jobs, all switch to Dancer like Mom was, switch back after seeing the uniform.
Gooper Blooper: "eep!"
SteelKomodo: Pfffft
SteelKomodo: Pit, meanwhile, picked up an entire walking battleship and slammed it about like a cartoon
SteelKomodo: i think that's a one-up if nothing else [smug]
RubyChao: utsuho suplexed a crab three times her size! that's...
RubyChao: probably below both, honestly :V
Belinda: no sarah should switch to the cute performer outfit
Draco: Including the bunny ears? =p
Belinda: yes
Draco: Yessssssssssssss
Gooper Blooper: CAKE IN THE CROSSFIRE
Draco: READY, AIM, DEVOUR
Gooper Blooper: I think it was mentioned in chat when this happened that Utsuho suplexed Huge Hermit and the two of them had a new thing to bond over
SteelKomodo: :3
RubyChao: and bond they did
Gooper Blooper: bonding intensified
Gooper Blooper: sdfhdsf
SteelKomodo: Hbwuh
Belinda: dlsfkjal?
Gooper Blooper: squee
RubyChao: also the real question to be answered in 2014 will be
RubyChao: if pit and utsuho team up what can't they lift
Gooper Blooper:
RubyChao: pfffffft
SteelKomodo: Lolz
SteelKomodo: ...I want to see that now
RubyChao: "SHE'S JUST... TOO... HEAVY...!"
Gooper Blooper: Sarah just standing there, confused and embarrassed
SteelKomodo: "WHYYYYYYY D:"
Belinda: alex can lift up sarah
Belinda: and carry her bridal style
Gooper Blooper: gotta carry her over the threshold- dammit 2slow
RubyChao: yeah but alex has the power of love on his side
RubyChao: i mean pit and utsuho do too but it's a different application
---
RubyChao: "The TV exploded, and as sooon as that, I woke up. I was actually 74 years old. I was rotting, I was melting. Everything was melting from my point of view. I then exploded and I actually felt it. As soon as that, I was in a grave. I was still rotting. I then woke up in the grave, and I was not 74 anymore. I was back my normal age. I eventually found a way to break out of the grave, and I ran home."
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