We Serve FOOD Here, Miss

Snow was lightly falling this early December eve, and two young and rather short women were on their way to pick up some fast food.

But this was no ordinary burger run.

"Sarah, this is utterly ridiculous. They aren't even going to know what you're talking about."
"C'mon, Josephine, don't be such a wet blanket! I have to try, at least! I gotta know!"
"Half of that was probably gibberish."
"But we don't KNOW that!"
"Uuuugh. Sarah, sometimes you're just plain crazy."
The two sisters entered McMechos, greeted by its' garish oranges and browns. "Y'know," Josephine mused, "I heard these restaurants use orange because it makes you hungry, so you'll order more. Pretty sinister stuff."
"Well, I'm starved, so it must be working! How about you?"
"This is why I ate before we left. I'm glad I got Morgana to email me those recipes. They're not quite as good as her stuff, but it's close enough."

The man at the register didn't look the sort to be working there. He was tall and fairly strong-looking, with a fine mustache.

"Welcome to McMechos. Can I help you two?"
"...Barbon?!"
"Yep. It's me." Barbon sighed.
"Why are you working here?!"
"The bad weather is making construction slow. X Demolition's managed to get the basic building up but a lot of wiring and details are slowing the process. So I have to work here to make ends meet."
"That's weird. Gezora was rich. You should have had tons of money from bartending the King of Beasts."
"Maybe if you guys had actually shown up a bit more often..."
Sarah's face fell. "Aw... Poor Barbon."
"Nah, don't worry about me. This is far from the lowest I've stooped for cash. It's really not that bad a job."
"Okay, if you say so... All right. *ahem*"
"Here we go. Sorry about this, Barbon."
"I'll take a double triple bossy deluxe, on a raft, 4-by-4 animal style, extra shingles with a shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease, make it cry, burn it, and let it swim."
"...We serve food here, miss."
"Sarah, I told you this was a dumb idea-"
"Wait, wait, hold on." Barbon pulled out a book from under the counter titled Fast Food Lingo for the New Employee. "Let's see here..."

"'Animal Style' means you want a double burger with everything.
'On a Raft' means you want toast instead of buns.
'Light Axle Grease' is light butter. 'Make It Cry' is extra onions.
'Shimmy and a Squeeze'... uh... Butter and mayo. So I guess the axle grease implies extra butter."

"This is fucking disgusting, you know that, right, Sarah?"

"...No, I guess you don't know that. Go on, Barbon."

"Okay, 'Burn It' is easy - you want it grilled... I think 'Let It Swim' implies deep-fat frying...
'Bossy' means all-beef patties. 'Extra Shingles' means extra cheese.
'Deluxe' means you want everything, but you already ordered everything with Animal Style so I guess this doubles it?" Barbon scratched the back of his head and pulled out a calculator while Josephine paled.
"Okay, the 4-by-4 and Double Triple are throwing me off... how many patties is this thing?"

Barbon worked the numbers for a minute.

"Okay, so you want a burger with 24 grilled all-beef patties, 24 layers of everything with extra onions, 24 extra slices of cheese, and all of that on 14 slices of toast with extra butter and mayonnaise.

And the whole thing has to be deep-fat fried."

"I AM READY." Sarah bellowed, taking a seat with a determined look on her face.
Josephine's legs quivered, and she staggered back like she'd been shot.
Barbon tilted the brim of his McMechos hat forward to cover his eyes.

"Coming right up.

God have mercy on my soul."

-20 MINUTES LATER-

"OH MY GOD-" Josephine covered her mouth, her face turning white.

"Here you go, Sarah. One double triple Bossy deluxe."

"Thank youuu~"
"Sarah, if you actually eat that thing without throwing up, I... I-I-"
"Wanna bet on it?"
"I don't think I want to bet when your life is at stake here."
"I'll be fine!"
"B-but... It..."

-HALF AN HOUR LATER-

(18)

"Best.

Burger.

EVER.

I have to remember the recipe to show Alex sometime!"

"I. I just.

I don't even know.

Let's just go home."