Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Chatzy Madness Volume 31: Crazy-Ass Jam of Knights

SteelKomodo: You know how Goops can't look at any FF stuff without shoehorning his RP into it?
TheDeleter: yeeeaaaaah?
SteelKomodo: Yeah, turns out i shouldn't be one to talk
SteelKomodo: http://www.bigbadtoystore.com/bbts/product.aspx?product=SYC10011&mode=retail
TheDeleter: pffft
SteelKomodo: Read the description for this and kept thinking "no, this is wrong"
TheDeleter: IT'S NICKYPOO
Gooper Blooper joined the chat
Gooper Blooper: A traitor to Edenia, Rain becomes a servant of Shao Khan, participating in the latter’s invasion of the Earthrealm, however he later defects from Khan’s forces, endeavoring to defeat Taven and Daegon with the longer-term intention of defeating Blaze to gain the latter’s immense power. A master of water and lightning, Rain boasts an arsenal of signature moves including the Shocking Orb and the Water Blast.
Gooper Blooper: hold on, I can fix this
Gooper Blooper: A traitor to Edenia, Rain becomes a servant of Shao Khan, participating in the latter’s invasion of the Earthrealm, however he later defects from Khan’s forces, endeavoring to defeat Taven and Daegon The Lord of the Night with the longer-term intention of defeating Blaze to gain the latter’s immense power marrying Stel-Stel. A master of water and lightning, Rain boasts an arsenal of signature moves including the Shocking Orb and the Water Blast wielding a fragment of Christopher Ravensky's sword and dropping fuckin' lightning bolts on people, yo.

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RedSpy: Ey guys :​D
Gooper Blooper: There you are
Gooper Blooper: The Spy posts in Chatzy when you least expect it
RedSpy: I was Isaacing
Gooper Blooper: oh god, still? It never ends
RedSpy: I bought the expansion
RedSpy: When the remake comes out I'm buying that
RedSpy: Help I've lost all control of my life
Gooper Blooper: You should have seen me and Pokemon back in the early to mid-2000s
Gooper Blooper: I was fucking married to those damn things
Gooper Blooper: "Spy, what are you doing?" "Playing Binding of Isaac." "It's four o'clock in the morning. Why on earth are you playing Binding of Isaac?" "Because I've lost control of my life."
Saberwulf: Speaking of buying lots of video games, I actually used to own basically every version of the Deus Ex Series
Saberwulf: No reason, I just ended up with like every system version of all three games
Gooper Blooper: That's happened to me before. It's like "why do I have so many games in this series"
Gooper Blooper: For me it's Mario Party, because my brother kept buying the new one every year
Saberwulf: Haha, Mario Party
Gooper Blooper: And so we now have Mario Parties 1 through 8
Gooper Blooper: hootenanny
Saberwulf: I own 2 MPs, the first gamecube one and the original
Gooper Blooper: The fifth one is my favorite
Gooper Blooper: Playable Boo is boss
Saberwulf: Playable boo sounds kickass
Gooper Blooper: http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a135/Kracko/PimpBoo.jpg
Saberwulf: Hahahahaha yessss
Gooper Blooper: "Where Lady Bow at?"

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Gooper Blooper: I just realized that Sarah was supposed to go back to Levia when the season ended, but instead she's been in the city for We Serve Food Here Miss and Thanksephine
Gooper Blooper: So fuck it, she's in Manhattan till Christmas
Gooper Blooper: There, canon fixed
Saberwulf: Woooo

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Saberwulf: For some reason I feel like doing something horrible to David but I don't know what
Gooper Blooper: Not David! D:
Gooper Blooper: Maybe he could lose his fortu- no wait
Gooper Blooper: Oh, he could get cut in ha- no
Saberwulf: Yea yeah, I know. But I want something that'll last
Gooper Blooper: Tries to slither through a pipe to channel his snake DNA, gets stuck
Saberwulf: I already have one thing planned, but that's not until next year
Gooper Blooper: Spends three months as a pipe with one foot poking out one end and his head poking out the other
Saberwulf: Though that really is more on Chet than David
Saberwulf: David in a blanket
Gooper Blooper: "this chafes like fuck, you know"
Saberwulf: New from Palazoos
Saberwulf: Or however the shit you spell that
Gooper Blooper: Palazzos
Saberwulf: You are a wizard

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Gooper Blooper: okay
Gooper Blooper: I've been waiting to do this until the Chatzy had people in it
Gooper Blooper: Today is December 3, which means Club Nintendo has replaced that damn Solitaire with something else on offer
Gooper Blooper: TIME TO SEE WHAT IT IS
SteelKomodo: WOOT
RedSpy: ITS SOLITAIRE
Gooper Blooper: okay here we g-od dammit
Gooper Blooper: Brain Age Sudoku
Gooper Blooper: :I
SteelKomodo: XD
RedSpy: Pfffffft

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RedSpy: Also, how's 4 Lokos of Light?
Gooper Blooper: Heroes of Light wrapped up last week, spy
 RedSpy: So wait, I think I missed it
RedSpy: Who was last boss?
Gooper Blooper: Think wayyyyy back to the first blog post I ever did before I started doing chatzy updates
Gooper Blooper: I snarked that even though the whole town was turned to stone, the guy who lets you save your game was fine (because game mechanics)
Gooper Blooper: The final boss was Guy Who Saves Your Game
RedSpy: XD
Gooper Blooper: Also he's got a pet fox
Gooper Blooper: I got to fight the fox too
Gooper Blooper: it knows Firaga
Gooper Blooper: firefox
RedSpy: Is his name Grand Wizard Go'gl Kh-Rom?
Gooper Blooper: His name is Adventurer and the fox's name is Faithful Fox
TheDeleter: ooh
Gooper Blooper: That was his excuse for being deep in dungeons when you gotta save right before a boss
Gooper Blooper: Because he was also an explorer/adventurer

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Saberwulf: Oh, in a completely random thing: Some guy said my outfit was awesome today which made me feel great
TheDeleter: gratz i guess
Gooper Blooper: haha
Saberwulf: I guess cardigans are cool now
SteelKomodo: pffft
TheDeleter: sadly yes they are
TheDeleter: more and more every day the young try to look like the old
Saberwulf: Not complaining, honestly. The 50's dressed swank as hell
Gooper Blooper: well if you don't like it, you'll just have to make your OWN fashion line
Gooper Blooper: with blackjack and kobbers
Saberwulf: Pffffhahaha
TheDeleter: my fashion line would consist of baggy t-shirts, whatever jeans i felt like throwing on at the moment, and hair that lies between "carefully messed up" and "you didn't brush that at all did you"
TheDeleter: shoes also maybe?
SteelKomodo: ^
Saberwulf: That was actually high fashion for men before Hipsters came around
Saberwulf: Also with a wool cap and big sunglasses
Saberwulf: in the middle of summer
Gooper Blooper: DEADLY EFFICIENT

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Gooper Blooper: RON PAUL UPDATE: RON PAUL signs are still up
Gooper Blooper: RON PAUL
SteelKomodo: PON RAUL
RedSpy: RAN POUL
Gooper Blooper: I bet he runs again in 2016, then they can just leave the signs up for four years
TheDeleter: RONOR

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Saberwulf: So I guess Time's Person of The Year voting is up. Now the thing with PoY is that even horrible people can win, as HITLER already did, since it's less about doing good and more about just being really influential during that year. Still, I voted no for a bunch of Wall Street fat cats, that genocider Assad, the previous chairman of communist China, etc.
Saberwulf: Oh look, Chris fucking Christie is a choice
Saberwulf: really
Saberwulf: Really Time
TheDeleter: in our culture of people becoming famous for fuck all, actual influential people are hard to come by
Saberwulf: Oh god, Kim Jong-Un is winning
Saberwulf: Though I'm guessing that's a hack because he has 3 million votes
Saberwulf: Hahaha what? Undocumented Immigrants is considered a person?
SteelKomodo: XD
Saberwulf: I can kind of understand Mars Rover, but really?
Saberwulf: "The Higgs Boson"
TheDeleter: wow
Saberwulf: He's just so elusive
SteelKomodo: I read that as Higgs Bison
TheDeleter: where are you higgs
TheDeleter: we need you man
SteelKomodo: "Yes, yes, I'm on the Person of the Year vote."
SteelKomodo: "My father got on the Person of the Year vote, too, and you don't hear me whining about it."
TheDeleter: hahaha
Saberwulf: Yeah, there's no way that Jong-Un vote isn't rigged to shit. Mohamed Morsi will win
TheDeleter: he might have just told his people to go vote for him
TheDeleter: the joke is communism and despots
Saberwulf: They don't have internet in NK
TheDeleter: seriously?
TheDeleter: well shit shows how much i know

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TheDeleter: i'm gonna go play some brutal legend methinks
TheDeleter: that'll be cool
TheDeleter: bbs, jack black's self-insert fanfic
SteelKomodo: XD

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TheDeleter: i found my google docs!
TheDeleter: i forgot these existed entirely
SteelKomodo: woot!
TheDeleter: wait, shit, it's terrible fanfic
TheDeleter: past me why do you suck so much
RedSpy: XD
SteelKomodo: XD:

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TheDeleter: Yo Crazy-Ass jam of knightz is struttin all up in tha Evivish woods. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Suddenly, yo ass hear a cry like a hoe fo' help, muthafucka! A fair maiden runs up onto tha path ahead of you, pursued by a beastly ogre, muthafucka! What will yo ass do?
Pimp Knight: no :P
Blue Knight: oh god
Pimp Knight: um
BadassMuthafuckinBlackKnight: AW SHIT, AN OGRE
TheDeleter: (gizoogle is amazing)
BadassMuthafuckinBlackKnight: Pimp, gimme some power-up
BadassMuthafuckinBlackKnight: I'm gonna wreck it
Pimp Knight: Sure thing, homie.
Pimp Knight: (how do I do this D: )
TheDeleter: (it just happens)
BadassMuthafuckinBlackKnight: Use your Pimpslap ability
Pimp Knight: (ah)
Pimp Knight: sure thing
Pimp Knight: PIMPSLAP
TheDeleter: A colossal pimp slap grantz tha black knight +1 ta whatever he likes!
Blue Knight: Well, while you two are doing that, I'll focus on some sort of barrier between the ogre and maiden
Blue Knight: um, lessee
BadassMuthafuckinBlackKnight: Alright, I'm gonna put that +1 ta wreckin' that ogre with my big muthafuckin' axe!
TheDeleter: Alrighty, that's gonna be a die roll, roll me 1d6 goops!
Blue Knight: I got a two
BadassMuthafuckinBlackKnight: And +1 for sciency shit
BadassMuthafuckinBlackKnight: Since you're the brain
Blue Knight: I shall be a wonderful distraction
TheDeleter: A wall of gin n juice rises up between tha fair maiden n' tha ogre, muthafucka! Blue Knight loses 1 die!
TheDeleter: Black knight, what yo ass gonna do?
BadassMuthafuckinBlackKnight: While Ogre over there's distracted by the barrier, I got to "axe" him a question
BadassMuthafuckinBlackKnight: 3 on the dieroll, with my usual Wreck Shit bonus and the help of the Pimphand, means a 5!
Pimp Knight: Hey, sweetcheeks! Stick behind me and you'll be juuuuust fiiiiine!
Blue Knight: (In this magical land, Dirk is actually successful)
Pimp Knight: (yes XD)
TheDeleter: (got a 5 on the Ogre roll with a +1 to clubbing things) Sadly, despite yo' dunkadelic thug-life combat abilitizzle, yo ass fail ta wound tha ogre, muthafucka! Instead, tha ogre angrily swings his club at yo ass n' hitz yo ass fo' 1 damage, muthafucka! Yo Ass may spend a die ta call bullshizzle on this!
BadassMuthafuckinBlackKnight: (Crap, brb, gotta walk dogs)
TheDeleter: aw shit
Pimp Knight: (D: )
TheDeleter: well at least we established this thing works
Blue Knight: excellent timing
BadassMuthafuckinBlackKnight: (Screw the world sometimes)
TheDeleter: in a mechanical sense
BadassMuthafuckinBlackKnight: (Still, though, this is stupid amounts of fun)
Pimp Knight: indeed
TheDeleter: eh we'll do another session another time
TheDeleter: getting attached to your character is discouraged
BadassMuthafuckinBlackKnight changed name to BMBK
Pimp Knight changed name to SteelKomodo
Blue Knight changed name to Gooper Blooper

Gooper Blooper: Wh-what's wrong with forming character attachments?!
Gooper Blooper: I totally have all the material I need to make Blue Knight my main in ZFRP 3
TheDeleter: hahaha
Gooper Blooper: I'll never forget our trials together
Gooper Blooper: that time I made a wall of gin n' juice
SteelKomodo: >:/
TheDeleter: pffft

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SteelKomodo: oh god wat D:
SteelKomodo: "...Really?" "Yeah."
SteelKomodo: oh my god I am actually laughing
TheDeleter: new bar plot - pit finds a belt of gender chancing, becomes rouge, i am shot for having such a terrible idea
SteelKomodo: ...D:<
SteelKomodo shoots del.
TheDeleter dies

BMBK: XD WAT

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Gooper Blooper: I am engrossed in the deep and meaningful storylines of Game Boy Donkey Kong and Super Mario 3D Land
Gooper Blooper: they speak to me

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Gooper Blooper: http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kayleightompkins/default/pokemon-cake--large-msg-134768294933.jpg
SteelKomodo: ohai James

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SteelKomodo: i just transcribed recoome's epic wrestler speech from DBZA and rann it through Gizoogle
SteelKomodo: brace yourself
SteelKomodo: "Vegeta. Yo ass be thinkin dat just cuz yo ass is tha pimp of all Saiyans, yo ass is tha dopest there be at what tha fuck you do. Well, let Recoome rap somethang, brutha - you ain't no Wolverine, n' you ain't gotz what tha fuck it takes ta step up ta a gangbangin' five time champion, muthafucka! Yo ass see, Vegeta, you sit there n' brag bout how tha fuck tha Saiyans is tha mightiest warriors up in allll tha universe yo. How tha fuck they’re da most thugged-out ruthless. Well, peep where they is now - dead, muthafucka! Yo ass rap bout yo' legends, n' yo' warrior race, n' yo' pride yo, but dat don’t mean a thugged-out damn muthafuckin thang ta dis man, muthafucka! Because tha name’s RECOOME, muthafucka! And it rhymes wit DOOM, muthafucka! And you’re gonna be hurtin all too soon!"
TheDeleter: amazing
SteelKomodo: thank you :3

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SteelKomodo: you hear a knock on the door
SteelKomodo: you open it
SteelKomodo: the door is spiders
RedSpy: Covered in spikes
RedSpy: Spikers
SteelKomodo: oh god D:

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RedSpy: Man wanna know what pisses me the fuck off
RedSpy: Ice Age
RedSpy: Its getting history backwards god damnit
SteelKomodo: indeed it is D:<
RedSpy: It went Continental Drift ->​ Dinosaurs ->​ Some ice ->​ Holy fuck tons of ice
RedSpy: If you look at the movie series its a complete 180
SteelKomodo: well, i'll be danged

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Gooper Blooper: I'm okay, but I have discovered a Christmas tragedy
Cornwind Evil: People have already discovered fruitcake GB
Gooper Blooper: no that's not it
Gooper Blooper: See, I have a friend who loves music
SteelKomodo: XD
Gooper Blooper: All kinds of music
Gooper Blooper: Like, he's got a thousand CDs and shit
Gooper Blooper: So I decided to get him a gag gift
RedSpy: Please tell me
RedSpy: You didn't make him a Belieber
Gooper Blooper: I was at this thrift store and I found "A Redneck Christmas"
SteelKomodo: EVEN WORSE D:
Gooper Blooper: Southern-fried versions of all your favorite Christmas carols
TheDeleter: hahahahaha
TheDeleter: that sounds like something Del'd buy
TheDeleter: also awful
Gooper Blooper: Unfortunately, I forgot that thrift stores are basically big garage sales
SteelKomodo: yep
Gooper Blooper: Meaning the merchandise is not expertly monitored
Gooper Blooper: There was nothing inside the jewel case
Gooper Blooper: :<
SteelKomodo: D:
Cornwind Evil: A tragedy? This is a blessing in disguise!
Gooper Blooper: So I bought a CD case for 3 dollars
TheDeleter: buy something else and put the cd in the case
TheDeleter: like, buy something good and then prank him with it
RedSpy: That . . . really bites
TheDeleter: yeah, the ripping off bites, but making use of the rip-off would be so sweet
Gooper Blooper: That... is actually a possible thing
Gooper Blooper: "Oh god dammit a Redneck Christmas, serious- OH SWEET"
Gooper Blooper: But that of course leaves the question as to what the heck I put in there
Cornwind Evil: It reminds me of the time I bought a game my sister wanted and put it in a clothes box.
TheDeleter: pfft
Gooper Blooper: Thanks to the magic of recycling I once got a present inside a box labeled "FISH STICKS 20 COUNT"
TheDeleter: maybe i should try that with an Xmas gift for SK :P
Gooper Blooper: Well now he's expecting it
Gooper Blooper: you blew it
SteelKomodo: yeah del
SteelKomodo: :I
TheDeleter: i did
TheDeleter: i totes blew it
Cornwind Evil: Do it anyway
Cornwind Evil: He'll be surprised you did
Cornwind Evil: ....OH DAMN IT
SteelKomodo: what
Gooper Blooper: dammit cw
TheDeleter: but now he'll be expecting me to do it and not do it and then expect the unexpected and argh
TheDeleter: i'll just buy him gangnam style
SteelKomodo: yeah, i'm confused- NO D:

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