Friday, April 18, 2014

Ariel's Pokemon Randomizer Adventure

Pokemon Randomizer is a Java-based application that scrambles around data in Pokemon rom files to create a new and unique experience - changing which Pokemon appears where, what their stats are, their abilities, their movesets, and more. It also features extra bonuses such as the ability to turn off trade evolutions and the ability to catch every Pokemon without trading - since, when playing an emulated version of Pokemon, trading is impossible. It works with every mainline Pokemon game from the first five generations. For this run, I'm using Emerald.

With her big sis Josephine occupied in Kalos, it fell to Ariel to become a Pokemon League Champion in the region of Hoenn. But, carrying over from her brutal 2013, Ariel might just be in over her head in the upside-down world of Pokemon Randomizer.

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-Ariel begins her journey in the town of Littleroot. After meeting Professor Birch's son Brendan, she ventures onto Route 101 to try and find the professor himself. He is being attacked by a Zigzagoon and asks Ariel to help with one of the three Pokemon in his bag. Ariel is faced with a choice between Abra, Bagon, and Geodude. She chooses Bagon and the battle begins. Zigzagoon's only move is Gust, while Bagon is equipped with Poison Fang and Absorb. Poison Fang makes quick work of the raccoon thing.

-Ariel gets to keep Bagon and names it DRACO. Her mother Celestia who is unnamed gives her a pair of running shoes. She ventures forward and soon encounters Brendan, who challenges her with Geodude. DRACO uses Absorb for a super-effective blow, but Geodude's Liquid Ooze ability damages DRACO instead of healing him. Ariel loses to Brendan, but succeeds on her second attempt.

-With Pokeballs in tow, Ariel starts looking for Pokemon. On Route 101, she finds a wild Lairon and manages to catch it. Lairon knows Dizzy Punch, Take Down, Overheat, and Counter. Lairon is named METALHEAD.

-On the route she faced Brendan, Ariel adds a Slowpoke (PATRICK) and Natu (GYPSY) to the team. After leveling up a few times, she moves on to Route 102.

-Youngster Calvin, the first real enemy trainer in the game, sends out a level 5 Deoxys. Ariel seems to have no answer for Deoxys and its' devastating Rock Slide attack. DRACO manages to poison it with Poison Fang, but his Drizzle ability hurts more than it helps when Deoxys reveals it also knows Thunder, which is 100% accurate in rain. METALHEAD is the only surviving member of the team when Deoxys falls to poison and levels up several times as a result.

-In the grass nearby, Ariel encounters a Celebi. After a difficult battle, Celebi is caught, named SIREN, and added to the team. Celebi has high defensive stats and knows Conversion, Icy Wind, Sky Attack, and Frenzy Plant. SIREN quickly usurps DRACO and METALHEAD to become team leader.

-With her new partner in tow, Ariel clears out the other trainers on the route, who use such Pokemon as Regirock and Dragonite.

-Ariel stops in Petalburg to help a kid named Wally catch his first Pokemon. Ariel's father Helios Norman lends Wally a Zigzagoon to help him. The game nearly breaks when Ralts fights back with Fury Attack instead of just using Growl, and when Zigzagoon tackles it, it gets poisoned from Ralts' new Poison Point ability. Zigzagoon gets Ralts into the capture range, but faints from poison. Wally sends out a blank space, then throws his ball and catches Ralts.

-Outside Petalburg Woods, the team reaches six Pokemon strong as a wild Nidoking is caught and named FONZ (a Twitch Plays Pokemon reference). His Attack stat is off the charts and he knows Brick Break, but he is slow and not particularly good at taking hits. FONZ levels up very quickly and soon becomes a team leader alongside SIREN.

-Inside the woods, a wild Milotic is caught and named HARPY. HARPY's Special Attack is high, but unlike Nidoking she doesn't have any powerful special moves to exploit it yet. She instead knows two powerful physical attacks - Iron Tail and Cross Chop. HARPY replaces the unused GYPSY.

-Ariel faces her first Evil Team Grunt, a member of Team Aqua. He uses a Ledyba. METALHEAD is KOed on the switch-in when Ledyba gets in a critical hit Brick Break.

-Ariel takes on the first gym in Rustboro. Roxanne's final Pokemon is a Parasect with Hyper Beam. Fortunately, Parasect's Attack stat is awful, making Hyper Beam do only middling damage. Bagon claims victory with a Poison Fang. Ariel is rewarded with a badge and a TM containing Mimic.

-In the grass east of town, Ariel runs into a wild Mewtwo. Her attempts to catch it end in failure due to Mewtwo's low catch rate (Celebi's catch rate, for the record, is a very reasonable 45 rather than the usual legendary 3).

-Ariel saves Peeko the Wingull from an Aqua Grunt using a Tangela. With Peeko safe, Mr. Briney offers to take Ariel south to Dewford.

-Before reaching Dewford, Ariel runs into Brendan again. His team now includes Grumpig in addition to Geodude. Grumpig is slowly worn down by a couple different Pokemon. SIREN makes short work of Geodude.

-In Dewford Town, Ariel acquires an Old Rod. Due to the game's randomization, the Old Rod grants a new Pokemon in every area in the game - fishing in Dewford gives Rattata, east of Dewford is Stantler, and north is Meditite. Ariel catches a Stantler, which has high Attack, Special Defense, and Speed stats as well as the moves Bounce and Astonish, and names it BLITZEN. BLITZEN joins the party, replacing PATRICK, who had become useless once FONZ joined the team and offered a much better fighting move than PATRICK's risky Hi Jump Kick.

-HARPY learns Block. BLITZEN learns Slack Off.

-Ariel spreads her activist agenda when she changes the "trendy phrase" at Dewford to WORLD CARE.

-Ariel takes on the second gym and defeats Brawly's team of Walrein, Wigglytuff, and Electabuzz. He gives her a TM containing Hydro Pump. HARPY cannot learn it.

-HARPY is taught Flash to allow Ariel to navigate the cave north of Dewford and deliver a letter to Steven Stone, who is deep inside. Ariel catches a Marshtomp while in the cave and names it SO I HERD. Steven gives Ariel a TM that he says contains Steel Wing. It instead holds Eruption. Eruption is taught to HARPY, replacing Block and finally giving her a special move to use that monstrous Special Attack on.

-After taking care of that errand, Ariel and Mr. Briney sail to Slateport. Ariel battles the trainers on the beach, two of which own Mew. Using the Old Rod on the beach results in an appearance from Zapdos, which Ariel doesn't try to catch due to catch rate.

-It's worth noting that a glance at the stats screen reveals FONZ and SIREN need far less experience to gain a level than the rest of the team, explaining why they level up so quickly. On another note, Ariel has over 75 Pokemon registered as Seen in her Pokedex at this point, which is more than twice what a player playing the ordinary game would have seen. The randomizer works wonders for fixing the recurring species variety issue with Pokemon games. Despite having seen Zigzagoon twice (in the game's first battle and again when Wally used one), it is not registered in the Pokedex.

-Ariel storms the Beach House and leaves with a dozen bottles of soda. PEPSIMAAAAAAN

-Ariel attempts to deliver the Devon Goods but is interrupted by Team Aqua. One of the grunts has a Latios which appears to possess frighteningly high offensive stats, but it is downed quickly before it can wipe out any Pokemon.

-While navigating the grass underneath Cycling Road, Ariel catches a Crawdaunt and names it AQUARIUS. AQUARIUS joins the party, replacing DRACO who had fallen behind and was in over his head considering all the fully evolved and legendary Pokemon being thrown around. This makes the current party Celebi, Nidoking, Milotic, Lairon, Stantler, and Crawdaunt.

-Brendan is encountered a third time. His Grumpig has vanished, replaced by two other Pokemon, but his Geodude has evolved into a Graveler. Ariel wins easily.

-AQUARIUS learns Hydro Pump from the TM after seeing that his Special Attack is incredibly high but his moveset is devoid of special moves. He also learns Astonish from a TM. SIREN learns Hi Jump Kick after leveling up.

-Ariel reaches Mauville City and easily defeats Wally, who claims he has a Ralts but sends out a Wailord instead - the third Wailord encountered so far. AQUARIUS and SIREN team up to defeat it. Rather than challenge the gym, Ariel instead takes some time to battle the many, many trainers that are on all four sides of Mauville to get AQUARIUS up to speed with the rest of the team. AQUARIUS' low experience curve, like FONZ and SIREN, makes it easy.

-Ariel reaches 120-plus Pokemon registered in her Pokedex as "Seen".

-A move tutor in Vendanturf who originally taught Fury Cutter teaches Meteor Mash to METALHEAD, giving him a very powerful STAB move to add to his arsenal. It replaces Counter.

-A Dragonair is caught with the Old Rod outside the Winstrate house and named OGOPOGO. It has a good ability (Intimidate) and a good moveset (Earthquake, Dig, Ember, and Hyper Voice) but its stats aren't impressive and it's only level 9 so it stays in the PC.

-While battling the trainers in Wattson's gym, HARPY learns Crunch over Cross Chop. AQUARIUS attempts to learn Milk Drink but Ariel declines. Rock Smash is taught to SIREN over Hi Jump Kick since FONZ has Fighting attacks covered. BLITZEN learns Iron Defense. One of the trainers uses an Unown. It is in the U form and knows Drill Peck.

-Wattson is easily dispatched - his team of two Shuppet, a Natu, and a Flareon poses no threat at all to the team. Of note is Flareon's absolutely insane Special Defense - it actually survived AQUARIUS' Hydro Pump, albeit barely. Ariel is rewarded with her third badge and a TM containing Pound. FONZ learns Pound over Razor Wind, because seriously Razor Wind is so awful.

-Twitch Plays Pokemon exhibits further power over the adventure when a Kabutops and Venonat are caught, but neither joins the party. FONZ forgets Pound for Strength without ever having used Pound once, then learns Dig by level-up. He now has a seriously formidable moveset and has firmly established himself as a premier pogey.

-Another encounter with Unown makes it clear that all Unown know Drill Peck and nothing else. Ditto is apparently in the same boat, knowing only Rage.

-FONZ's attempt at taking down a Qwilfish almost ends in disaster when Qwilfish reveals it knows Earthquake. Fortunately, FONZ just barely manages to survive the hit and deal a KO.

-Ariel drives off Team Magma at the top of Mt. Chimney. Team Aqua asks whose side Ariel is on. Considering both teams are eco-terrorists, Ariel being chosen for this adventure suddenly works even better than it already had.

-Ariel leaves Mt. Chimney for Lavaridge Town, but not before stuffing her backpack with tons of Lava Cookies in a "sarahkin moment".

-Flannery goes down without too much of a fight - her team consists of Ariados, Swampert, Ninjask, and Zigzagoon. Ninjask was able to last a while, causing trouble with Charm and Grasswhistle, but posed little offensive threat.

-Ariel gets the Go-Goggles from Brendan and ventures into the desert, grabbing the Root Fossil inside Mirage Tower. Hilariously, she then encounters a wild Lileep in the desert. She catches him, names him NERIDA, and adds him to the team, replacing BLITZEN. NERIDA has good Special Attack and Special Defense but awful Defense. He knows Psychic, Astonish, and Hidden Power.

-Ariel gets the Root Fossil revived. It's a Zigzagoon. She names it H8ER and lets it sit in the PC.

-In gym battles, Ariel experiments with NERIDA's Hidden Power. It deals super-effective damage to a Beautifly and neutral damage to a Feebas, which seems to confirm it's a Rock-type attack.

-A Kakuna is encountered that knows Tri Attack and Slack Off. Not a bad moveset for something with such low stats.

-Helios Norman is Ariel's next challenge. He puts up a tremendous fight, fainting METALHEAD, but ultimately fails to defeat FONZ, NERIDA, and SIREN despite his Color Change Poliwhirl, Dig Feebas, and other such terrors. Upon winning, Ariel is given a TM containing Water Sport. Aside from Hydro Pump and Eruption, the TMs have been frightfully bad in this run.

-In a moment of lucidity, the name pun for "Winstrate" is finally understood after eleven years. God dammit, GameFreak.

-En route to Fortree, Ariel storms into the Weather Institute and kicks out Team Aqua. She is given a Snorlax as a reward. Snorlax has great Special Attack but pitiful Special Defense. Ariel names him "UR MOM" for some reason and dumps him in the PC.

-NERIDA learns Surf. HARPY and AQUARIUS are both capable of taking the HM as well, but Ariel holds off due to the need to also have Waterfall and Dive on the team. METALHEAD learns Fly, forgetting Quick Attack.

-Ariel reaches Fortree City, a city of treehouses with an emphasis on connecting with nature and living green. Ariel has to take a cold shower from the excitement.

-Steven Stone reappears to give Ariel a Devon Scope. It is used on what looks like a Kecleon but what turns out to be a Quagsire. SIREN defeats it.

-Another "Kecleon" is encountered and revealed to be a Staryu. Staryu is caught. It has good Special Attack and Special Defense and really high HP.

-Winona, the sixth gym leader, is challenged and defeated. Her team of five includes a Slugma (easily dispatched by NERIDA) and her ace in the hole, a level 33 Pidgey (also taken out by NERIDA).

-Now with the ability to use Fly, Ariel has METALHEAD take her back to Rustboro to get the Experience Share, which is given to NERIDA. He is currently the weakest team member, but Ariel believes he'll become a powerful ally if she can get him to level 40, which would make him evolve into Cradily. With no knowledge of Cradily's stat spread, however, it's a gamble - NERIDA's current moveset is solid, but only for a Special Attack-based Pokemon.

-Ariel begins slowly making her way to Lilycove. It's a very long walk filled with trainer battles, so the going is slow. METALHEAD faints several times due to unexpected Ground and Fighting-type attacks.

-Further experimenting with NERIDA's Hidden Power makes it even more obvious it's Rock type.

-After many battles and numerous level ups, Ariel makes it to Lilycove and immediately visits the Move Deleter to remove Flash from HARPY's moveset. It is replaced with Surf. AQUARIUS also learns Surf over Astonish. With the Move Deleter available, Ariel plans to replace two of the three Surfs with Dive and Waterfall when she acquires those HMs - assuming the three Surfers she owns are compatible with the other HMs...

-Brendan is STILL insulting Ariel and acting as if he's a better trainer. Ariel wipes the floor with him. He still hasn't evolved his Graveler.

-Ariel goes to Mt. Pyre, but is too late to stop the theft of the Red and Blue Orbs. She instead picks up a Magma Emblem and uses it to go to Team Magma's base on the Jagged Path.

-While exploring Magma's hideout, Ariel catches a Pinsir that has Drizzle as an ability and Hydro Cannon as a move. She names him STAG and presses onward.

-Maxie releases Groudon, then is defeated by Ariel in a battle.

-Examining STAG in the PC reveals good offensive stats and very high Defense, but pitifully low Special Defense and Speed. Ariel decides to keep her current team as-is.

-Ariel's next stop is the Team Aqua hideout, which is a simple and quick affair. After taking out all the grunts, she grabs the Master Ball before leaving.

-Ariel acquires the Super Rod, having missed the Good Rod completely.

-Ariel arrives in Mossdeep City. First stop is the Gym, where she takes on Tate and Liza. The double battling leaders start off with Gengar and Crawdaunt, which make a nasty combination - Gengar's stats and movepool have made him into a bulky annoyer that uses Ingrain and Stun Spore to irritate his opponents before striking both at once with Razor Wind. Crawdaunt is able to last irritatingly long as well from a combination of Milk Drink and Hyper Potions from the leaders. Once Crawdaunt was finally disposed of, the rest of the team went down quickly.

-Ariel visits the Space Center, where Team Magma is attempting to steal fuel for the center's rockets. The phrase "LOAD THE SPACESHIP WITH THE ROCKET FUEL" comes to mind, immediately followed by "Too soon".

-NERIDA reaches level 38. Ariel gives him two Rare Candies to make him finally evolve. It turns out evolutions in this game maintain similar base stat ratios instead of reshuffling them - NERIDA still has good Special Attack, great HP and Special Defense, mediocre Attack and Speed, and bad Defense. The team now consists of Lairon, Celebi, Nidoking, Milotic, Crawdaunt, and Cradily.

-Steven offers to team up with Ariel in a 12-Pokemon Double Battle. The resulting contest is one of the most exciting fights she's had yet. Notably, Steven's Pokemon are not randomized - he has a Metang, Aggron, and Skarmory, just as he should, and they didn't use any moves they couldn't normally learn (Metang knew Reflect, Light Screen, Psychic, and Metal Claw, Skarmory knew Steel Wing, and Aggron knew Solar Beam, which despite being an odd move choice is totally possible). Ariel chooses METALHEAD, HARPY, and NERIDA for the battle. Tabitha's Flygon is the most dangerous of the group, with high defenses and a powerful Rolling Kick that easily defeated METALHEAD and Aggron. Metang also faints during the fight and HARPY is brought to low health, but Skarmory finished off Maxie's Wobbuffet to claim victory.

-Ariel gets Dive from Steven and teaches it to HARPY (deleting Surf at the Move Deleter first).

-A Cooltrainer attacks Ariel with a Rayquaza. It knows both Blizzard and Thunder and has great Special Attack, making it capable of one-shotting everything Ariel has except possibly Lairon. Ariel manages to beat it, but not without a few Pokemon fainting. Ariel makes a quick stop at Sootopolis to heal the team and register the area on her map to enable flying there, then begins her search for Team Aqua's stolen submarine.

-An unspeakably annoying battle with a fisherman (whose gimmick, funnily enough, is that he's very calm) ensues. His only Pokemon is a Poliwag. It faces off with METALHEAD and uses Mega Drain, which allows it to heal enough after one Dizzy Punch to just barely survive a second. It then uses Powder Snow to freeze him. After several turns of trying to break free, Ariel gives up and uses a Lava Cookie. Poliwag promptly freezes METALHEAD a second time. Fortunately, it used Perish Song the turn before, meaning Ariel simply had to switch out to HARPY to wall the Powder Snow barrage until Poliwag fainted from its own move.

-After entirely too much wandering, Ariel finds the undersea cavern and takes on Team Aqua and Strength puzzles. She discovers Kyogre in the deepest part of the cave, and is challenged to a fight by Archie, Team Magma's leader. Archie's team is unevolved but nonetheless dangerous - he has the now-dreaded Poliwag and knows enough to switch out after using Perish Song, and his level 43 Shroomish scores a 1-hit KO when it surprises METALHEAD with Dig.

-Somewhere around this point, Ariel finds a TM with Ice Beam inside. It is immediately taught to AQUARIUS, replacing Triple Kick and finally giving him something besides Water moves to use his monstrous Special Attack on.

-Maxie brings Archie and Ariel to the surface, forcing the Team Aqua leader to behold what he has wrought by awakening Kyogre. Ariel is told to "not say anything" by the humiliated and frightened eco-terrorist leaders. Ariel keeps a stoic face, but you can tell that internally she's doing a handstand and wiggling her feet while saying "I told you so" in a singsong voice.

-Our heroine commands METALHEAD to fly to Sootopolis, whereupon she sees Kyogre and Groudon locked in combat. After a brief meeting with Wallace, she sets out for the Sky Pillar.

-On the way to the Sky Pillar, Ariel is beset upon by a horde of swimmers who don't seem concerned about the impending environmental disasters. The team levels up.

-After making a brief pit stop at Pacifidlog to heal, Ariel enters the Sky Pillar, climbs to the top, and wakes up Rayquaza. She rides METALHEAD back to Sootopolis to witness Rayquaza essentially yelling at Groudon and Kyogre to shut up or so help me I will turn this car around. It works. Archie and Maxie flee in shame, laughing crazily at having wasted their lives on pointless terrorism. Steven gives Ariel her last HM, Waterfall. It is taught to AQUARIUS, replacing Hydro Pump.

-The eighth gym is finally available. Ariel lays out all of the trainers first to gain experience, but Juan is a total pushover, as four of his five Pokemon are unevolved. Only his lead, a Heracross, could have posed a threat, but it was quickly downed by a Sky Attack from SIREN. The rest of his team, which included Shroomish, Gulpin, Squirtle, and Shellder, is disposed of effortlessly.

-Ariel fights a couple more trainers before reaching Evergrande City, which is the smallest city in the history of anything, seeing as it consists of a Pokemon Center and nothing else. The entrance to Victory Road is here, though. After a moment's hesitation, Ariel gathers her courage and enters the cave.

-It is quickly established that Ariel is Victory Road's bitch when she faces off with Wally for the third time. His Wailord is gone, replaced with an eclectic team of Pokemon of various strength. Halfway through the battle, FONZ is knocked out when Wally's Sharpedo tanks a Brick Break and retaliates with Counter. A Breloom attempts to Sheer Cold METALHEAD, but fails. Then Wally sends out his final Pokemon and ace in the hole, a level 45 Registeel. Registeel's Attack is monstrously high and his typing gives him resistances to nearly every attack on Ariel's team, especially with FONZ down and out. Registeel proceeds to sweep the team, handing Ariel her first ever defeat.

-Ariel immediately challenges Wally a second time. This time, FONZ is kept healthy for the final showdown with Registeel. Although Registeel manages to deal 3/4 of FONZ's health with one Tri Attack, FONZ strikes back with Brick Break, revealing that to get its' high HP, Attack, Special Defense, and Speed stats, Registeel had to give up Defense, making it a glass cannon. Registeel is knocked out and Ariel moves further into the cave.

-It doesn't get much easier. Victory Road is a long, harrowing gauntlet, and Ariel frequently has to stop to heal. Worse, Flash becomes required partway into the dungeon, and HARPY is forced to learn the otherwise-useless attack once again, this time overwriting Iron Tail. Early on in the cave, METALHEAD reaches level 40. Ariel uses her last two Rare Candies to get him to 42 so he can finally evolve into Aggron.

-Ariel finds a TM containing Rollout. AQUARIUS levels up and learns Spark, replacing Quick Attack and FINALLY giving the team an Electric-type attack.

-Victory Road is full of tricks and surprises among the trainers. The fifth member of the Winstrate family is no pushover, using a team of mostly fully-evolved Pokemon led by a tanky Machamp. Even his Igglybuff knew Super Fang to instantly halve SIREN's HP. Multiple Pokemon throughout the cave know Counter and Mirror Coat to catch sweepers off guard, and Guillotine and Fissure both make appearances. AQUARIUS knowing both Surf and Waterfall winds up being useful when Surf's PP is drained from a Grudge.

-At long last, Ariel emerges from Victory Road and staggers into the Pokemon Center. After healing and buying a bunch of items, she realizes she's probably underleveled (the team varies from 38 to 43), considering how difficult Victory Road was. There are two water routes Ariel never explored due to riding Mr. Briney's ship the one time she had to travel through them, so she decides to head to those routes to get some much-needed experience points.

-Ariel enacts her plan, easily defeating Pokemon over ten levels lower than her team and earning some decent EXP for it. After beating all the trainers, she returns to Lilycove and gets the Move Deleter to erase all the HM moves she no longer needs now that she's able to Fly to the Pokemon League. HARPY forgets Flash and Dive, AQUARIUS forgets Waterfall, and SIREN forgets Rock Smash.

-A stop at Lilycove Department Store to check out the randomized TMs bears a bounty. Powerful moves like Blast Burn, Thunderbolt, and Leaf Blade are available, and Ariel gleefully purchases them (including multiple Leaf Blade TMs, hippie that she is). AQUARIUS forgets Spark to learn Thunderbolt. HARPY relearns Surf. AQUARIUS, HARPY, and NERIDA all learn Leaf Blade (NERIDA forgets Hidden Power to do this). SIREN learns Blast Burn.

-Ariel makes a quick stop in Fallarbor Town to use a Heart Scale she acquired while looking for the undersea cavern. Most of her team was acquired at a low level and didn't evolve (evolving re-scrambles level-up moves), meaning there's not much to see. The exceptions are METALHEAD and NERIDA, who as an Aggron and Cradily have a whole slew of new moves to choose from. NERIDA's are nothing special, but Ariel finally strikes gold with METALHEAD, who gets to learn ExtremeSpeed over Dizzy Punch.

-While in Fallarbor, the Meteor is returned to Dr. Cosmo, who gives Ariel a TM for Shadow Punch as thanks. SIREN learns the move.

-The team is still a bit underleveled, but everyone is at least level 40 now and their movesets have vastly improved. Ariel feels confident enough to take a swing at the Elite Four. She flies back to Ever Grande, shows off her badges to the gatekeepers, and ventures inside.

-First up is Sidney, who leads with a Smeargle followed by a Poliwag. Just as Ariel is getting complacent, Sidney sends out a Rayquaza. Rayquaza's moveset - Eruption, Water Spot, Blizzard, and Needle Arm - is devastatingly powerful, and tears through Ariel's team like butter. AQUARIUS is unable to get off a much-needed Ice Beam and is outsped and OHKOed with Needle Arm. Eventually METALHEAD is able to wear down Rayquaza, although Ariel lost half her team and one of her two Max Revives in the process. Sidney's final two Pokemon, a Baltoy and a Magnemite, are easily taken out. Ariel wins, but the cost was high (entirely due to that goddamn Rayquaza) and she burns through a significant chunk of her items to get everyone back on their feet and healthy.

-Phoebe leads with an Armaldo who nearly knocks out AQUARIUS with Twineedle, but the rest of her team - Electrode, Krabby, Raticate, and Snubbull - poses little threat. Ariel wins with a full team.

-Glacia's entire team is fully evolved - Scizor, Politoed, Tentacruel, Misdreavus, and Entei. Ariel was saved by poor movesets - Scizor did nothing but use Charge repeatedly as SIREN took it out with two Blast Burns and Entei's strongest move was Quick Attack. Misdreavus would have posed a threat, as it could use a Swords Dance/ExtremeSpeed combo to sweep, but METALHEAD tanked the blows and struck it down with Meteor Mash. Tentacruel knew Submission, Mimic, and Assist.

-Drake seems like a joke at first, with a frail Jynx and then a Metapod (a freaking level 53 Metapod), but things get serious when he sends out Qwilfish, who's able to knock out two Pokemon before Ariel realizes it probably doesn't have Earthquake this time and uses FONZ to subdue it with Dig. Drake's next Pokemon, a Hitmonlee, is nearly as dangerous - it's extremely tanky and although its moves are weak (Powder Snow, Icy Wind, and Arm Thrust), they manage to deal significant damage, hitting weak spots and lowering Speed. Drake's final Pokemon is another Misdreavus, who repeats the Swords Dance/ExtremeSpeed technique Glacia's Misdreavus used.

-Ariel revives the fallen Pokemon and heals up, then saves and barges into the champion's lair.

-Wallace is not fucking around - he leads with a goddamn Zapdos. As suicidal as it would normally be to make a Milotic fight a Zapdos 14 levels higher than it, HARPY is able to win because Zapdos lacks punch to its' attacks (Twineedle and an Assist-powered Signal Beam). Next out is Dugtrio, who Harpy OHKOs with Surf. AQUARIUS tags in to take down a Spearow with Thunderbolt, although Spearow's Grudge saps AQUARIUS of all of Thunderbolt's PP afterward. Suicune is out next, but is one-shotted by a Leaf Blade from NERIDA. Wallace then sends out yet another fucking Misdreavus, who promptly uses the Swords Dance/ExtremeSpeed combo. METALHEAD is an old pro at taking out Misdreavuses (Misdreavii?) by now, so it poses little threat. Wallace sends out his final Pokemon, a level 58 Crawdaunt. It's built to last, with Yawn and Recover in its moveset, but for offensive ability it only uses Wrap. After several turns, the false AQUARIUS falls to FONZ, and the battle is over.

-To Brendan's shock and surprise, Ariel is not, in fact, a loser and HAS, in fact, beaten the Champion. He stammers out a "congrats" as the victorious little activist that could struts into the Hall of Fame.

-ARIEL'S TEAM-

HARPY (Milotic) lv42
HP: 162
Attack: 78
Defense: 56
Special Attack: 144
Special Defense: 54
Speed: 107
Nature: Mild
Hold Item: BlackGlasses
Moveset: Surf, Crunch, Eruption, Leaf Blade

AQUARIUS (Crawdaunt) lv42
HP: 145
Attack: 75
Defense: 51
Special Attack: 159
Special Defense: 58
Speed: 49
Nature: Mild
Hold Item: Mystic Water
Moveset: Surf, Ice Beam, Thunderbolt, Leaf Blade

SIREN (Celebi) lv42
HP: 153
Attack: 97
Defense: 123
Special Attack: 75
Special Defense: 69
Speed: 117
Nature: Calm
Hold Item: Nothing
Moveset: Frenzy Plant, Sky Attack, Blast Burn, Shadow Punch

FONZ (Nidoking) lv43
HP: 109
Attack: 183
Defense: 72
Special Attack: 86
Special Defense: 79
Speed: 39
Nature: Relaxed
Hold Item: Soft Sand
Moveset: Dig, Brick Break, Rock Tomb, Strength

NERIDA (Cradily) lv44
HP: 168
Attack: 54
Defense: 33
Special Attack: 127
Special Defense: 121
Speed: 75
Nature: Mild
Hold Item: Nothing
Moveset: Leaf Blade, Surf, Psychic, Bite

METALHEAD (Aggron) lv44
HP: 156
Attack: 134
Defense: 58
Special Attack: 68
Special Defense: 126
Speed: 86
Nature: Gentle
Hold Item: Silk Scarf
Moveset: Meteor Mash, Fly, ExtremeSpeed, Overheat

Those natures. Maybe Ariel and her team were high the whole time. AQUARIUS just swaggering up to her like "Take it easy, tiny activist girl. Want a hit?"

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