With 100 Games having reached the halfway point, I'm taking a break from it to shed some light on the opposite end of the spectrum: Games that sucked.
There are many ways a game can suck. Terrible music, poor controls, glitches and bugs interrupting or interfering with gameplay, and most importantly a game that is boring, too easy, too hard, or poorly designed. The existence of Big Dumb Vidya Games not only in my collection but on the list of 100 proves a game can have some blemishes - significant blemishes - and still earn high marks. But if a game is not fun, it has failed as a game.
A game can also be bad by association. If your expectations are high based on the past of the series or the developers, and the game falls short, you may think of it as a "bad game" even if it's not bad. It could be mediocre, or even good, but it was not able to match your expectations. This has happened to me a couple of times.
So with that in mind, let's review three games in three categories: The game that most disappointed me, a game that's so bad it's good, and the outright worst thing I've ever put in a video game system.
Biggest Disappointment: Paper Mario Sticker StarGenre: Action-Adventure
System: Nintendo 3DS
Developer: Intelligent Systems
Publisher: Nintendo
Released: November 11, 2012
Sticker Star's a good game on its' own merits, and it sticks out like crazy compared to the other two excretions further down. But, being a Paper Mario game developed by the same team that brought the absolutely magnificent Thousand-Year Door to life, I expected to be able to offer far higher praise than that. Although I had not yet finished Sticker Star in time for it to be ranked on the 100 Games, now that I have I'm not even sure I'd be able to place it due to how much it let me down. In case you're wondering, while I was not impressed with the gameplay mechanics it was the last stage, ending, and the complete and utter destruction of the past three games' lovingly crafted characterization of major Mario characters that proved the real deal-breaker. When the credits rolled, I felt empty instead of fulfilled, and I have never been more disappointed in a game.
BUT! I'm not here to leave such dark thoughts as the principal part of this entry. While Sticker Star is the most disappointing game I've played, it is in all honesty quite far from the worst.
Now, I've played my share of bad games. Not a ton, but some. Every so often my "this is a Big Dumb Vidya Game" sense backfires on me. And in the late 90s and early 2000s I ran into a string of licensed junk that gave me a rude awakening from all the pleasant gaming I'd had from quality Genesis titles like Toy Story, The Jungle Book, and The Lion King. But I'll come back to that...
It's also possible for a game to be so bad it's funny.
Best Worst Game: The Great Waldo SearchGenre: Hidden-Object
System: Sega Genesis
Developer: Radiance
Publisher: THQ
Released: 1992
In this game you play as a magnifying glass, and your job is to find both Waldo and one of Wizard Whitebeard's magic scrolls. Also available in each stage are pickups to increase your score, clocks to give you more time to find Waldo and the scroll, and Waldo's dog Woof, if spotted, will take you to a simple bonus game where you control Woof on a magic carpet as he catches bones. There are even bonus challenges that instruct you to find other things in the level, like a red hat or a man with three legs. And every time you play, Waldo, Woof, and the scroll are in different places. So far so good, right? Seems like pretty fair stuff for a Where's Waldo game.
Each level is half the size of a standard Waldo two-page spread. Cut it in half lengthwise and there's your stage. Actually, might wanna make it one-third.
There are only five levels in this game. The Great Waldo Search is one-fourth the content of a real Waldo book for a higher price (at least when it was new).
Here is a guy who beat the entire game on "Expert" in three minutes. He wasn't even speed running (although he doesn't play the Woof bonus game). Look how well-hidden Waldo is.
If you can beat a game on its highest difficulty in three minutes without abusing glitches, there's a problem.
Great Waldo Search is my pick for Best Worst Game because even though it's terrible, my brother and I found it to be a laugh riot. Between the funny-sounding announcer, goofy Reading Rainbow-style animation, silly music, and the ludicrously short length of the game, we had a thousand in-jokes revolving around Great Waldo Search.
THQuality, I'll miss you.
Finally, it's time to present my pick for Worst Game. I may have played worse games than this technically, but I'd only put up a game here that I had a fair amount of experience with. And I think the hour or two I wound up sinking into this one is more than enough.
Worst Game Ever: NickToons RacingGenre: Racing
System: Game Boy Color
Developer: Software Creations
Publisher: Hasbro
Released: 1999
The first inkling that this is going to suck (if you weren't already certain from looking at the box that this game was likely not developed with the greatest of care) is that the Angry Beavers have the wrong names. Norbert is called Daggett and Daggett is called Norbert. With dedication like that I sure do expect great things from NickToons Racing!
In Nicktoons Racing, all the characters play identically. There are over a dozen tracks, but since none of them have any obstacles they all feel similar. There is a single power-up that makes your sprite flash without noticeably affecting your speed or anything else. The backgrounds take Copy and Paste to new heights: Thrill as you drive by Spongebob's house a dozen times per lap!
Also, you can just hold down the A button and your character will deflect off the walls. You can win races by just holding the button down and occasionally turning a little to avoid getting turned around completely. Glitches will sometimes award you first place for coming in second. Considering how little game is here it's amazing how many different ways Software Creations screwed up.
Unlike the other two games covered here, which were gifts, I actually bought NickToons Racing with my own money expecting a good time. How wrong I was.
Several years later, around 2004, I successfully sold it at a yard sale for a dollar. I expect the next year they sold it at their own yard sale for 50 cents. I might see it in a free box this summer.
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