Chatzy Madness Volume 103: Deer Piss

(Draco makes a joke that was cut off by the scrolling chat by the time I got there)

Draco: Harpy would've found it funny.
Draco: If her humor glands hadn't been removed in that horrible taffy pulling incident.
Jumpropeman: unfortunately, only Tiny Spritzee is here tonight
Draco: And I doubt s/he's even really here and not off playing unicycle roulette.
Jumpropeman: s/he lives for high stakes unicycle roulette
Jumpropeman: its that kind of high risk lifestyle that gets your life dramatized in a 90 minute movie
Draco: Made-for-TV movie or SyFy (*shudder*) straight-to-VHS original movie?
Jumpropeman: more like History Channel Special where the real people talk over the events as they unfold
Draco: Ah.
Draco: Narration by Morgan Freeman or his cousin Lessgan?
Jumpropeman: Narration by Legolas
Jumpropeman: Has Legolas ever said more than a sentence at a time? Like, has he conversed with people? Or is he always just relaying information
Jumpropeman: freaking elves man

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Year Of GB joined the chat
RubyChao: gooooops
SteelKomodo: ey goops
Year Of GB: I am here for a little while
RubyChao: no you must stay forever
RubyChao tapes GB to the floor
Year Of GB: ONE ETERNITY LATER
SO MUCH BLOOD wraps Goops in the chains of eternity
SO MUCH BLOOD sucks Goops into the Book of Koridai

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RubyChao: ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ Give Investigations 2

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Year Of GB: Cleffa
Mario, Destroyer of Matter: ...omg Cleffa
Mario, Destroyer of Matter: I want to kidnap the mall
Mario, Destroyer of Matter: *them
Mario, Destroyer of Matter: how can I kidnap a mall
RubyChao: harpy confirmed for saturday morning cartoon villain
RubyChao: digs a trench around the mall
RubyChao: takes the whole thing

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Mario, Destroyer of Matter: sammy twerk
SteelKomodo: Yes, that is a thing
SteelKomodo: ...No, Dirk wasn't oogling, I swear
Jumpropeman: twerkquake incoming
SteelKomodo: OF ALL THE WAYS THE WORLD COULD END
FTD: Faster Than Del: the plan was to have sine twerk but she didn't even get past the first round SINE YOU USELESS LUMP
SteelKomodo: WE NEVER EXPECTED... THE TWERKQUAKE
FTD: Faster Than Del: HOW CAN I HUMILIATE YOU IF YOU DON'T PARTICIPATE
Jumpropeman: draw her as a pickle
Mario, Destroyer of Matter: Dirk oggling sammy's booty would make Carlos faint
SO MUCH BLOOD: At least Skurvy isn't there to twerk
SteelKomodo: "Not my fault your gal has a great booty!"
Cornwind Evil: I'll enter her in the next DYM
SteelKomodo: yiss
FTD: Faster Than Del: are carlos and sammy a thing, i didn't pay attention to shit this year
FTD: Faster Than Del: i am bad at rp
Mario, Destroyer of Matter: Nope, they're just good friends
Jumpropeman: those blogs made me think yes
FTD: Faster Than Del: ah cool
Mario, Destroyer of Matter: Carlos is just fainting because Sammy actually twerked
Year Of GB: dat sammy
SteelKomodo: Yep
Mario, Destroyer of Matter: she is
Mario, Destroyer of Matter: the twerkinator

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Draco: Is this a good Sarah reference pic?
SO MUCH BLOOD: Wait is Sarah wearing an inverted Celestia hat
Cornwind Evil: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT
Cornwind Evil: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO SARAH
Cornwind Evil: DID YOU SHOOT HER WITH A MAKEUP SHOTGUN SET ON 'WHORE'?
Draco: NO.
Draco: ......
Draco: Yeah. =3
Jumpropeman: That's post DC Reboot Sarah
Jumpropeman: All women must be sex objects in the New52
Year Of GB: the cutest ho
Year Of GB: *godfather theme*
SO MUCH BLOOD: No seriously, I think that's an inverse Celestia hat

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Year Of GB: Where'd Harpy go, she missed the end of DYM
RubyChao: she is linked to sammy
RubyChao: when sammy keeled over so did harpy
Year Of GB: Harpy is Sammy
Year Of GB: And yet Harpy has claimed she is Sarah
Year Of GB: Therefore Sammy is Sarah
Draco: Sarammy
SteelKomodo: "I AM NEITHER SARAH NOR SAMMY! I AM THE ONE WHO WILL DESTROY YOU!"

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Year Of GB: I can't say for certain who I'm entering into the BBB since a lot can change in five months but
RubyChao: i already know who i'm entering :V
Year Of GB: I've got a group of three that are current favorites
RubyChao: also if you don't enter gloria i will be Very Sad
RubyChao: The Saddest Chao
SO MUCH BLOOD: The Saddest Spy

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draco: I'll figure out how to record so we can all see the adventures of Captain Sarah someday.
Jumpropeman: this is all her origin story of how she got up to the ZFS near the end of the year
Year Of GB: "GOIN ON SPACE ADVENTURES ALEX BYE" "wait what"

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Cornwind Evil: Apparently, the commentaries that Uwe Boll makes on his flilms are really something
Cornwind Evil: They include
Cornwind Evil: Unironically claiming to be trying to invoke German Expressionism in House of the Dead ("Az you can see zis shot is very reminiscent of The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari")
Cornwind Evil: Going on a rant about Tara Reid's refusal to show her breasts in Alone In The Dark 2005, all but blaming the movie's failure on this.
Cornwind Evil: Boll getting more worked up about a cheeseburger arriving than anything about the movie in the Far Cry commentary.
Year Of GB: When I think Uwe Boll, I think art
Cornwind Evil: And finally his commentary for BloodRayne II: Deliverance where he inexplicably just stops halfway through the movie, with the remaining half of the track being the sounds of an empty room.
Year Of GB: Sounds like the commentary is exactly as good as the movies

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Year Of GB: "What is the Big Bar Brawl?"
Jumpropeman: that is beautiful goops :')
Year Of GB: Here's the site if you're interested

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Jumpropeman: Sarah should just use life on the captain
Jumpropeman: problem solved
draco: Cutscene death. No can do.
Year Of GB: "Cutscene deaths are doo-doo heads."
Jumpropeman: Sarah dancing after the captain's death though was a fitting tribute

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SO MUCH BLOOD: . . . Hey harpy, we're inverted :D
Mario, Destroyer of Matter: no u
SO MUCH BLOOD: No, really, you're usually green and I'm usually red
Mario, Destroyer of Matter: Oh well
SO MUCH BLOOD: Its fun :D
Draco: What? That's Harpy? I thought it was Chao. D=
Mario, Destroyer of Matter: HAHAHAH
Mario, Destroyer of Matter changed name to HarpyChao
HarpyChao: I TRICKED YOU GOOD, OH YES I DID
Draco: WHAT IS MY LIFE?
Draco muppet flails despondently.
SO MUCH BLOOD changed name to RubySpy
RubySpy: EACH OF US HAS ONE OF THE SEVEN PIECES OF RUBYCHAO
Draco: IB
RubySpy: YOU MUST PUT HIM BACK BY THE RELEASE OF THE NEXT CHATZY MADNESS OR HE DED SON
Draco: If I assemble the seven RubyChaos, do I get a wish?
RubySpy: No, but he lives to keep being your trainer!
Draco: Pffft. What do I care then?
Draco throws RubySpy and HarpyChao into the sea.
HarpyChao: Ruby, Sapphire, Diamond, Emerald, Aquamari- what
HarpyChao: I can fly you ass
HarpyChao: *flies awaaaaay*
RubySpy: And I can . . . uh . . .
RubySpy: ./checks script
RubySpy: What the hell do you MEAN I'm the giant judo rock!?
RubySpy: Nobody likes The Mountain!
RubySpy: Well I guess this makes me in a preeeeeeeetty bad situation
RubySpy sinks

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HarpyChao: the bear went over the mountain, the bear went over the mountain, the bear went over the mountain
HarpyChao: and whaddya think he saw?
HarpyChao: he saw dead people
Draco: Harpy knows my true form. BU
Draco changed name to Donkey
Donkey: Look at me! I'm Donkey from Shrek! =D
RubySpy: Pfffft
HarpyChao: so you're actually
HarpyChao: DOCTOR DOOLITTLE
Donkey: Ha ha! That's why I like you, Harpy! Always kiddin' around! We ought to be best pals! We'll ride bikes - well, I'm a donkey so I don't have feet to pedal with but I guess I got hooves and all - and we can tell 2spooky stories at a campfire and then in the morning when we're all wakey-upey I'm making everybody some delicious Donkey's Mama Recipe griddle cakes! Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm!
Donkey: Ain't that sound like a lotta fun? I think it does and not just because I said it but that's beside the point! WOO!
Donkey: Hippity hoppity hooooooooopity hoo! Dangit, Spy! Why you gotta be so quiet? Speak up and join in this invigorating conversation while we muse over our feelings and find dragons!
Donkey changed name to Draco
Draco: Help me. The spirit of Future Eddie Murphy is possessing me! I can't shut up! D=
Draco changed name to Donkey
Donkey: Woah nelly! Don't know what happened there! I think I might've been visited by one of them ghosts! Ghosts are CRAYZAY! They're always like "Boo! Spooky! Woo woo!" and I'm always like "AAAH! GHOST! SCARY! WOO!"
HarpyChao: HAHAHA
HarpyChao: oh god
RubySpy: PFFFFFFFFT

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Jumpropeman: freaking Amazon keeps e-mailing me about Cory in the House
Draco: Do you want a copy of Cory in the House, Jumpropeman?
Jumpropeman: damn skippy I do
Jumpropeman: but the price has skyrocketed lately
Draco: All the way to TWO DOLLARS.
Jumpropeman: I refuse to believe that the people who are selling it Used actually used it
Jumpropeman: honey, if I am buying Cory in the House, I'm buying it new
Jumpropeman: its a fucking collector's item
RubySpy: But what about Bee Movie
Jumpropeman: ive already experienced Bee Movie
Draco: I'll buy you two copies: one to play and one to open.
Jumpropeman: it pretty much made me who i am today
Draco: And one to not open too.
Draco: So three copiesl.
Draco: COPIES
Draco: .
Draco: WHAT IS MY LIFE?
Draco muppet flails sadly.
Jumpropeman: dont worry draco
Jumpropeman: no matter what happens
Jumpropeman: take comfort in knowing we'll always be ambivalent towards you

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drnksepihne joined the chat
drnksepihne: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH​HH
drnksepihne: WHO LIVS IN A PINEPLE UBNDER THSESEA
drnksepihne: ABLSORBNS ANSD YELW AN PORUOS ISSHE
drnksepihne: IFAN TUSCAL NONSAENSE BE SEOMEYHNI YOU WWISH
drnksepihne: THEN DROPE ONE THEED ECK AND FRLOERLEDADDFISH
drnksepihne: SPOPOGEBOBD SQUARSPINTS
drnksepihne: SOPNOGOB SPEATURENURS
drnksepihne: SPUTNOBUB SQIREPINS
drnksepihne: SPOSDNGEBIIIIIIIIIIIIIII​IIIIIIIIIIIIIIB SPRATBUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT​TS
drnksepihne: sd;ghsgjf
drnksepihne: v
drnksepihne left the chat

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FTD: Faster Than Del: Call of Pancakes Black Ops
FTD: Faster Than Del: sarah's favourite vidya
Gooper Blooper: Call of Pancakes: Modern Kitchenware

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Gooper Blooper: hey wulf
Gooper Blooper: how do you keep winning Drown Yer Mates
Saberwulf: Because my characters are drunks
Gooper Blooper: there must have been some magic in that old merchant hat we found
Saberwulf: New David Hat glows in the dark* (*may increase risk of all over cancer)

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Saberwulf: My pokemon teams consist of random pokemon and then the fire starter which I use to fight everything
Saberwulf: I am rad at pogeys
SteelKomodo: Pfffft
Attack on Del: wulf plays like i did when i was ten
Attack on Del: i'm not sure if he's wrong either
RubyChao: my pokemon teams are made intelligently with tons of decisions
SteelKomodo: Lolz
RubyChao: and by that i mean "ooh this one looks cool i'm gonna use it"
Attack on Del: i catch a shitton of stuff and then go "oh fuck what do i use"
Gooper Blooper: Charizard with Ember, Fire Blast, Fire Spin, and Cut
SO MUCH BLOOD: My Pokemon teams try to be hardcore
Attack on Del: and then cry
SO MUCH BLOOD: Then I melt into squeeing over how adorable they are
Attack on Del: because i can't afford enough pogeyballs

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Gooper Blooper: I like the alternate universe that Youtube Gmod and Source Film Maker videos have created where the TF2 classes no longer take anything seriously anymore and do the Garry's Mod Arm Flail everywhere as they continue to try and fulfill their mission objectives
SteelKomodo: So do I goops
SteelKomodo: so do i

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SteelKomodo: DEER PISS
SteelKomodo left the chat
Attack on Del: DEER PISS
Attack on Del left the chat
Proud Member of the 301+: DEER PISS to you too
Gooper Blooper: deer piss final boss 2014
Cornwind Evil: The ultimate boss when we finally end this ZFRPing thing is Sine's Perennial Last Place

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Jumpropeman: youtube jokes!
Jumpropeman: I got one: The comment sections is not good
Gooper Blooper: *laugh track*
RubyChao: IT'S JUMPROPEMAN
RubyChao shoots Jumprope Man to get his weapon
Jumpropeman: *drops giant Meat instead*
Jumpropeman: *meat begins rotating while hovering in the air*
RubyChao: so what was horrible about the comment section this time
Jumpropeman: everything :D
Jumpropeman: wakka wakka! *honks bicycle horn*
Gooper Blooper: *laugh track intensifies*

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RubyChao: holla holla no dolla
Jumpropeman: that picture confuses me so much
Gooper Blooper: I wonder how Chao stumbled upon the world's largest resource of pictures of reptilian characters giving bags of money to touhous
RubyChao: another chat
Jumpropeman: chao, you cheatin on us?
RubyChao: yes
RubyChao: i've been doing so from the very beginning
Jumpropeman: [crying]

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Jumpropeman: another winter break over :/
Gooper Blooper: :<
Jumpropeman: now i cant keep stalling on all the cool plans i had for winter break
Gooper Blooper: You'll be here in the summer, right
Jumpropeman: of course, you can't get rid of me that easily, except that one time when i did leave
Gooper Blooper: Good! Without you we have no convenient ways to kill our characters
Gooper Blooper: very important
Jumpropeman: death is a very important part of life! That is why you must experience it repeatedly to truly understand its importance
RubyChao: especially if you're samus or ariel or erebus
Gooper Blooper: that'll teach me to throw a tiny unarmored girl with mid-level white magic into the biggest plot in ZFRP history
RubyChao: ariel remains on earth for the entirety of 2014
RubyChao: is killed when earth blows up and we have to collect the dragonballs to wish it back

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Jumpropeman: why is the first google image result for Mac Tonight a picture from the Creepy Pasta wiki
SteelKomodo: I dunno JRM :U
Jumpropeman: is...
Jumpropeman: is there a Mac Tonight Creepy Pasta?
Jumpropeman: where's Chao when you need him
SteelKomodo: ...let's find out >:D
Gooper Blooper: Just checked by looking at the result
Gooper Blooper: It's only used on a talk page for a story called "Moon Face"
SteelKomodo: Ah
Jumpropeman: I should write one then
Jumpropeman: its the story of a guy who, no matter what he does, always ends up dying every year around July the 4th

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Cornwind Evil: Okay. A wrestler was having VISA issues, so he started doing this bit on the WWE webshows because he couldn't get on the main shows.
Cornwind Evil: It eventually got so popular it became his gimmick
Mallowing Out: should have gotten a mastercard
Gooper Blooper: *rimshot*
SteelKomodo: Lolz
Jumpropeman: oh lawdy wrassling
Mallowing Out: IT WAS RIGHT THERE, I COULDN'T HAVE NOT TAKEN IT
Jumpropeman: Even more Ultimate Warrior Sine
SteelKomodo: Wrasslin
Cornwind Evil: Basically, he gave out bad news. Which got to the point where it became his name (Bad News Barrett) and he got his own rising platform and hammer to randomly show up on shows and give out bad news.
Cornwind Evil: So I was thinking of how Sine lost to depression and ennui and...
Cornwind Evil: "MAY I HAVE SOME DECORUM, PLEASE?"
SO MUCH BLOOD: AHAHAHAHHAA YES
Cornwind Evil: "It's nice and warm in Canada for the year! But I'm afraid I've got some SAD NEWS!"
Gooper Blooper: This was my inspiration
Cornwind Evil: "That means when it gets cold again, all the melted water will freeze, and people will fall down!"
Attack on Del: well
Attack on Del: nice
Attack on Del: SAD NEWS EVERYONE
Cornwind Evil: *Sine bangs on the platform* "ORDER! ORDER! And that means, everyone has to watch where they walk!"
Cornwind Evil: #SadNewsSine
Gooper Blooper: You know how Sine sometimes is a bit of a wet blanket and says stuff like "Have you considered EVERY possibility before attacking Such and Such?"
Gooper Blooper: I imagine her still doing that, but this time she just rises out of the floor to do so

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Gooper Blooper: "Pardon me if I'm coming off as harsh here, but through these Mario Cartoons, we've seen DiC completely fail at showcasing proper depth, layering, proportions, coloring, keeping production material out of the shot, keeping characters on model, having characters mouth their own lines, counting things on-screen, and even mix up the simple directions of left and right. At this point I'm kinda surprised they DIDN'T misspell "Ketchup" on Yoshi's little jar in the corner. And I'm not talking about the possibly of them spelling it "Catsup" or anything."
Mallowing Out: yoshi what
Mallowing Out: stop
SteelKomodo: Ouch, that is harsh and true
SteelKomodo: DiC were not good animators

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SO MUCH BLOOD: "I hope Hunico has replaced Sin Cara in his everyday life as well as in WWE. Like, the original Sin Cara comes home to find his wife having dinner with Hunico. Every picture of Sin Cara in the house has Hunico heads glued over them."
SO MUCH BLOOD: Internet pls

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Jumpropeman: Sheila? =o
Gooper Blooper: Sheila is that princess character from Harpy's Juan blog story
Jumpropeman: of course she has an idiot hair
Jumpropeman: both of them do
Mallowing Out: She uses gel to keep hers up
Mallowing Out: she saw moving photographs of Alex and figured why not
Gooper Blooper: it's fashionable
Jumpropeman: New Villain who cannot be damaged by anyone with an idiot hair
Jumpropeman: Harpy's roster decimated
Gooper Blooper: (I gave the plant girl an idiot hair too I couldn't help myself)
Mallowing Out: Juan lacks one
Jumpropeman: for now
Mallowing Out: also I removed plant girl as a possibility, as I am a lazy fuck
Mallowing Out: nah, from the way he acts so far, he knows what he's doing
Gooper Blooper: ded plant
Mallowing Out: carlos reveals to have an idiot hair under his hat
Mallowing Out: the cycle continues
Gooper Blooper: don't forget lenny
Jumpropeman: Carlos has an idiot hair... on his chest!
Gooper Blooper: alex parallels forever
Mallowing Out: sadly alt alex died
Mallowing Out: his idiot hair was his downfall
Gooper Blooper: made him too much of an idiot

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Cornwind Evil joined the chat
Cornwind Evil: YES!
Cornwind Evil: YES!
Cornwind Evil: YES!
Cornwind Evil: YES!
Cornwind Evil: YES!
Cornwind Evil: YES!'
Cornwind Evil: YES!
Cornwind Evil: Turnip.
Cornwind Evil: YES!
Cornwind Evil: YES!
Cornwind Evil: YES!
Mallowing Out: turnip up