Old King Titty: Ten years in the aftermath of an attack caused by turning a United States satellite weapon against the nation, much of the country lays in ruins. The severe loss of industry, infrastructure, and capital to rebuild has taken the government from one of the most elite nations in the world to third-world status. This results in a weakened military and exposure to invasion, which comes in the form of a collective of South American governments called "The Federation" (the ones who were also responsible for bringing this on the US in the first place). After ten years of occupation by The Federation, what remains of the US special forces are brought together to become the "Ghosts", whose mission is to use whatever means necessary to defend the tattered remains of the US.
Old King Titty: They're going to lengths of odds-overcoming that would make John Cena embarrassed.
---
The Deleter: here's a tip for you folks
The Deleter: do not buy your wireless equipment from tp-link
The Deleter: they are, and i quote, all raging piles of excrement
---
Old King Titty: >asking chatzy
Saberwulf: fuck chatzy nobody ever listens to it
SteelKomodo: yeah, ever since he started drinking his advice has been useless
RubyChao: the only hope is an intervention
RubyChao: we've got to get chatzy off the bottle
---
Old King Titty: So I'm gonna play Badman, Knuckles, and Stave It Off
Old King Titty: All at the same time
Old King Titty: Never mind terrible idea mission aborted
SteelKomodo: XD
---
Saberwulf: man there are too many fucking people in Girls' Generation
Saberwulf: But at least it's not AKB48 who have 89 fucking band memebers
Old King Titty: ?????? What
Saberwulf: WHERE DO YOU FIND THAT MANY MILDLY ATTRACTIVE JAPANESE GIRLS WHO CAN SING
---
The Deleter: Harvest Moon is a child-friendly farming game. It's essentially a $50 FarmVille, but friends you haven't spoken to in years can't harass you, so it's a fair trade-off. Other advantages over FarmVille include the ability to get married, the ability to have a kid, and the ability to allow your loyal dog to maul someone to death five minutes in, thus ending the game.
Old King Titty: What D:
The Deleter: how is this in the game
The Deleter: i don't understand
Saberwulf: Farmers don't mess around
SteelKomodo: What
SteelKomodo: Why
SteelKomodo: why is that a thing D:
---
Saberwulf: Someone explain to me why I'm watching idol group music
Gooper Blooper: because you're saberwulf
Saberwulf: These girls can uprock like a motherfucker though
Harpy: wat
Gooper Blooper: hey harpy
Gooper Blooper: you always seem so confused after long absences from chatzy
Harpy: yes
Harpy: because i am multitasking
---
Gooper Blooper: ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ
Saberwulf: Well, at least they admitted they dun fucked up
The Deleter: they were making a huge update that would have added new heroes and shit
The Deleter: but clearly the holiday hats mode was more important
Saberwulf: gotta get dem hats
---
The Deleter: okay so i drew that in literally 5 minutes
The Deleter: SCORPION WITH CHAINSAW ARMS AND A STACHE
The Deleter: VS
The Deleter: PIGEON WITH A CHAINGUN FOR A HEAD
The Deleter: THEY'RE FIGHTING ON THE ROOF OF THE ALAMO
The Deleter: PLACE YOUR BETS
---
Gooper Blooper: old art
Puppy: Idiot hair even gets its own photo
Puppy: Awwww
---
Saberwulf: Operation drink tea has encountered a problem: why does this tea taste like licorice
Saberwulf: It's vanilla chai
Gooper Blooper: They slapped a new label on because it wasn't selling
Saberwulf: If there was soap left in it from when I washed it I'm gonna be pissed
Gooper Blooper: Peel the label off and despair
Puppy: ew
Puppy: we need more chai :<
Saberwulf: Yeah that tastes like whitewash, fuck
Gooper Blooper: more chai provided
Puppy: i approve, goops
---
Puppy: maybe later this week I should write down what the shit is happening in Augusta
Puppy: obvs. Sammy is writing a skateboard made of lightning
Gooper Blooper: I am definitely interested in any offseason worldbuilding
Puppy: *riding
Puppy: hahaha writing a skateboard
Gooper Blooper: especially if it involves Sammy doing things like that
Gooper Blooper: Obviously Mikey was the one who wrote the skateboard so Sammy could ride it
Puppy: "SAMMY PLEASE YOU'LL SHOCK THE CHILDREN" "but Caaaarlos, its AWESOME"
Gooper Blooper: shock the children FIGURATIVELY with MAD SKATING SKILLZ
Gooper Blooper: =O <-- the children
Puppy: jesus, I bet Siren would literally split herself in half to make a terrible pun
Puppy: "I'm not half the woman I used to be~" "...Siren, put yourself together before the UPS guy gets here... please."
Puppy: oh shit I still have to finish the siren story and my perception of Siren has changed SO MUCH
---
Gooper Blooper: grimdark plot 2014: Sarah gets diabetes
Gooper Blooper: this will never happen
Puppy: grimdark plot 2014: Sammy falls deathly ill
Puppy: she...she lost her radness
Gooper Blooper: nooooo D:
Puppy: "GO ON WITHOUT ME, CARLOS"
Old King Titty: Grimdark plot 2014: Zephyrus is radically out of shape for his comeback tour, tears both quads as he walks into the Fite Yer Mates arena
Puppy: "You can be not rad for a couple of days, come on." "BUT.. BUT THE SHAME! THE SHAAAAAAAME"
Puppy: "Radically out of shape"
Saberwulf: Grimdark plot 2014: Zephyrus has quads
Puppy: fat zeph or...very rusty zeph?
Saberwulf: Is actually a human in a suit made from tuna cans
Puppy: grimdark plot 2014: david no longer voted for best booty in bangok
RubyChao: grimdark plot 2014: oceanus develops arthrities
RubyChao: can no longer fold hands into fists
Puppy: jesus
Puppy: NOO
Puppy: D:
Gooper Blooper: Josephine/Celestia dethrones David
Puppy: THEN HOW WILL HE BROFIST SOPHIA
Saberwulf: We can fix that, just chop off his hands and put feet there!
Saberwulf: Now he can wear the shoes David and Jaxx bought him
Puppy: ...oh jesus
Saberwulf: Grimdark plot 2014: Feet turn out to be David's hooves, no longer has stately gams
Gooper Blooper: The megaplot of the year: Oceanus' stately new gams
Puppy: now I have to write about Mikey's trips to school during the winter
Gooper Blooper: dangit
Saberwulf: Cue long travel story with no ending
Puppy: wearing a coat of David's chest hair
Gooper Blooper: a thrilling treasure hunt for gams
Saberwulf: It's awkwardly warm!
Gooper Blooper: nobody can solve the first puzzle
Old King Titty: Grimdark plot 2013: The Eye of Argon drove Oceanus into such a depression that he wanted to end it all. Rivalry over, Gloria wins . . . but at what cost
Puppy: toasty and smells kind of like cheetoes
Saberwulf: Shockingly, the answer was butts
Puppy: *toot*
Saberwulf: Chat ashamed of self, eimplodes
Saberwulf: Eimplodes is like five times more dramatic than implodes
Puppy: grimdark plot 2014: everything is just a dream by Major Failure
Puppy: lawd
Burly Fellow: grimdark plot 2014: everyone dies and are dead
Saberwulf: grimdark plot 2014: Franco replaced with Todd's actor, General Hospital really thinks you'll go along with it
Gooper Blooper: A rule is added that all deaths are permanent, JRM makes everyone enter five characters in the brawl
Saberwulf: hahaha
Old King Titty: Grimdark plot offseason 2013
Old King Titty: Osh buys Gloria Bad Rats for Christmas
---
Gooper Blooper: I finally got Beat Hazard working again
Gooper Blooper: praise be to gaben
SteelKomodo: aw yiss
douk: Everyone quit, Goops has ascended to the top of the scoreboard
Harpy: i read that as "Google"
Harpy: i was like "wat"
Gooper Blooper: Goople Search
Saberwulf: Google Bloogle
Gooper Blooper: "trident" "DID YOU MEAN: triden"
Harpy: aah don't remind me
Harpy: post-alex levian history is haard
Gooper Blooper: "economics" "DID YOU MEAN: butts"
Harpy: ecobuttnics
Gooper Blooper: robuttnik
SteelKomodo: dirkonomics
Saberwulf: *skateboard kickflip as Seinfeld theme plays in back*
Gooper Blooper: thenineties.txt
douk: I read that as . . . well, not dirkonomics
Saberwulf: Oh god now I'm imagining Dirk in one of those 90's "how to rap" videos with all the awkward white people except it's for picking up women
SteelKomodo: XD
SteelKomodo: wulf what D:
Gooper Blooper: always bet on dirk
SteelKomodo: and spy what DDD:
SteelKomodo: Josephine bets on Dirk, I'll bet
SteelKomodo: *waggle eyebrows*
Gooper Blooper: Always.
Saberwulf: "With my patented Dirkonomics tape set, you'll be the next George Clooney in no time!" *cheesy fade to side with woosh noise* "Just send ten easy payments of nine ninety five to me, Dirk Pat, 666 Success Lane!"
Saberwulf: "Shipping and handling not included"
SteelKomodo: hahaha
SteelKomodo: also "666" is Dirk evil now?
Saberwulf: It's the sign of the devil, which is what you'll be once you buy these tapes. A devil in bed that is!
Gooper Blooper: He misheard when the realtor was telling him about the house and thought it was "Sex Sex Sex"
Saberwulf: *MIDI guitar solo*
SteelKomodo: pffffft
---
Gooper Blooper: Rich Boy trainer says "a first-class gentleman has to have first-class Pokemon"
Gooper Blooper: sends out level 15 psyduck
Saberwulf: so refined
---
douk: I . . .
douk: I don't even know anymore world
douk: ./just found a blog that gives social justice statistics and comments over pictures of Wario
Gooper Blooper: waa
SteelKomodo: #TooBad
RubyChao: what
douk: Half the posts are reasonable, statistics-based info and common sense
douk: The other half is people asking "WHY WARIO" and them just saying Wario quotes
Gooper Blooper: Sarahblog is pictures of sweets with encouraging captions that aren't related
RubyChao: social justice wriggle
Gooper Blooper: A chocolate cake with the caption "YOU'RE A GOOD PERSON"
RubyChao: for the acronym joke
Harpy: Social Justice Cirno
Harpy: STOP DE...DESCR...STOP MAKING FUNNA FAIRIES
SteelKomodo: Dirkblog was taken down three weeks after it started
SteelKomodo: only rumours persist of it now
Gooper Blooper: Dirk took it down himself after dating Josephine
Gooper Blooper: he had to scrub his net history
Gooper Blooper: Everything was "what if jo sees"
douk: Oshblog resembles Ryback's twitter
douk: #bigguybigtraps
Gooper Blooper: Ryback @Ryback22 15 Sep "@WormDude17 We all know Ryback Rules, but in your house CLEARLY Food Rules.
Gooper Blooper: shots fired
douk: Wheeler doesn't have a blog
douk: He has the last Angelfire domain
Harpy: oh lawd
Harpy: why
Gooper Blooper: image hosted by tripod
---
douk: The voice of the people
Gooper Blooper: I hear if you say something enough times, it becomes true
Gooper Blooper: fawful for mario kart 8
RubyChao: obviously they must combine campaigns
RubyChao: goku for mario kart 8
ben: gokawful
RubyChao: oh god it's that guy
RubyChao: he's the one who founded the forum
Gooper Blooper: imagine: fawful gets in but that's exactly how he appears
RubyChao: pffft
Gooper Blooper: Everyone else is next-gen graphics
SteelKomodo: lolz
Gooper Blooper: Fawful is doctored DS sprites
RubyChao: 2014 megaplot: fawful takes over the bar in an attempt to force the kobbers to support him for mario kart 8
Gooper Blooper: I like it
RubyChao: ariel suffers an inner struggle as she tries to resist signing petitions
Gooper Blooper: Fawful tries to pass around environmental petitions but they all have "also put fawful in mario kart 8" buried in the small print
SteelKomodo: pfffft
Gooper Blooper: Congress tries to pass a bill authorizing a new post office, it has "fawful for mk8" as a rider
RubyChao: fawful is defeated when mario kart 8 is released without fawful
RubyChao: he storms off, muttering something about "i'll come back for 9"
Gooper Blooper: put fawful in mario kart 9
Gooper Blooper: the ride never ends
---
Gooper Blooper: but someday you can all play as sarahkin
RubyChao: well, as long as rpg maker cooperates
RubyChao: :V
Harpy: can I play as Helios
Harpy: *dumb*
Gooper Blooper: The game began development two years ago, so currently only Year 1 and Year 2 characters are in it
SteelKomodo: ah
RubyChao: helios shows up as the bonus party member to destroy the final boss
RubyChao: collect all the sarahfamily
Gooper Blooper: collect them all, each with their own fun accessories
SteelKomodo: SARAHMON
Harpy: 6 pokemon is kind of a low number
Gooper Blooper: It's a full party
RubyChao: think about it
RubyChao: it's - yes
SteelKomodo: yeah :<
RubyChao: *gooper creates the sarahfamily in pokemon y*
Harpy: but
Harpy: where's alex
Harpy: D:
RubyChao: boxed forever
RubyChao: SHOULDA BEEN IN 2013, KID
---
RubyChao: i wonder if anyone at chatzy is just like "guys just upgrade to premium already dammit" about us
Gooper Blooper: "LOOK HOW LONG THEY'VE BEEN USING THAT ROOM"
Gooper Blooper: "IT'S A FUCKING QUICK ROOM"
RubyChao: "DON'T YOU WANT THE LACK OF ADS"
Harpy: whats an ad
Harpy: -/joke
---
The Deleter: all the ladies come to me for the daily dose of dongers
The Deleter: *eyebrows*
RubyChao: who admins the admin
---
Gooper Blooper: Okay, last Wonder Trade for now - someone's getting a ditto
Gooper Blooper: Torin from Kansas is our lucky winner
Gooper Blooper: ...ANOTHER WEEDLE
Gooper Blooper: :I
SteelKomodo: :I
Gooper Blooper: I decided to check and see if Torin was just starting his game to justify his pogey
Gooper Blooper: Play Time: 223:41
RubyChao: hahahahaha
Gooper Blooper: torin no
RubyChao: torin you jerk
SteelKomodo: what a jerkface
---
Gooper Blooper: Always bet on godzilla
Gooper Blooper: He's one of those characters where you can answer any question about things like "how did they do X" with "It's fucking godzilla"
---
Gooper Blooper: "last night, i caught a haunter, named it 2spooky, and stuck it in wonder trade. some random japanese guy got it.
an hour later, one of my acquaintances keeps pestering me to trade. after saying no twice, i finally accept.
it’s the same dude. he puts up 2spooky.
apparently he hated it that much"
Harpy: wat
---
Gooper Blooper: A few days ago I put a pogey in the GTS and asked for an Ekans
Gooper Blooper: I got one the next day nicknamed "Mourn"
Gooper Blooper: Then a little later I put up another pogey and asked for Ferroseed
Gooper Blooper: I got one named "Fear". It's like I'm in a creepypasta
RubyChao: up next will be DEATH
SteelKomodo: ...D:
---
Gooper Blooper: eviipaladin: #ClippyForVGCW
Gooper Blooper: how would you even
RubyChao: IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE CREATING A BAD CAW
---
Jumpropemaniac: I had to share this
Gooper Blooper: What Samus doesn't want anyone to know she does
RubyChao: utsuho walks in, samus is all "IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE"
---
iDel: Ant man is getting his own movie
iDel: Dunno why he's not in avengers
Gooper Blooper: ant-man's boyga stand
Saberwulf: Well then who the fuck is ant man fighting
iDel: because songs I guess
Saberwulf: himself?
iDel: We
iDel: Don't know
Saberwulf: oh god
iDel: He should totally fight A.I.M. and Modok
Saberwulf: I hope it's a film about him using grow big powers to compensate for his erectile dysfunction, which devolves into domestic violence until they put him in prison
Saberwulf: The film ends with him in a cell, sobbing as he slowly grows smaller. Eventually, as the camera pans out, he disappears into nothingness
iDel: That wouldn't sell toys wulf
Saberwulf: He has become too small
iDel: Kids do not want an action figure with real no-boner action
---
Jumpropeman: guess the internet hates all of us
Jumpropeman: its getting revenge for all our ridiculous antics
Draco: Is that why my connection is always perfect?
Jumpropeman: yours should be the worst!
Jumpropeman: what deal with the devil did you make?
Draco: I traded all my ZFRP characters for good internet.
Jumpropeman: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Jumpropeman: Spike ; - ;
Draco: Yep. Choked on a ruby on his way back home.
Jumpropeman: dangit Ruby Chao
Draco nods. Yes......
Draco Chao......
---
Jumpropeman: Slaking Kong
Draco: NO! Tyrantum! D=
Draco: I know how this movie ends. ;-;
Jumpropeman: don't worry, I'm sure he'll just faint
Draco: Goomy will avenge you. ;o;
Jumpropeman: *spills some salt*
Draco: Goomy is a mighty dragon! You can't beat him with TABLE SA-oops there he goes. Sizzlin' like a tub of hot oil.
Jumpropeman: *starts slipping Diggersby salt packets for round 2*
Draco: Diggersby will be too in love to use them.
Jumpropeman: I know what I must do
Jumpropeman: *gets Diggersby a sex change*
Jumpropeman: it is the only way
Draco: =O
Jumpropeman: of course, even though Diggersby will be a boy, zhe will still be attracted to men
Jumpropeman: so...
Draco uses Goodranite to MEGA-EVOLVE Goomy into Hedorah.
Jumpropeman: D:
Jumpropeman uses Diggersbite to MEGA-EVOLVE Diggersby into that mole from Once Upon a Forest
Draco: Oh my! =O
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