Chatzy Madness Volume 23: A Really Awkward Terrorist

MannVsNature: I have learned a very valuable lesson yesterday
MannVsNature: Mario Strikers Charged is an evil, evil little game
TheDeleter: it is
TheDeleter: it hates you and everything you stand for
SteelKomodo: it truly is
SteelKomodo: but it's loads of fun as well
MannVsNature: My friend and I went from beginning to end, tearing a bloody path through the game
MannVsNature: Donkey Kong, Dry Bones, Monty Mole, and Shy Guy trampled everything in their way
MannVsNature: We even got to the end of the Striker Cup, ready to face down Petey Piranha
MannVsNature: He solidly demolished our asses
SteelKomodo: D:
MannVsNature: Fought so far, all for naught
SteelKomodo: mario sports games tend to do that
SteelKomodo: there will come a time when they will tear you apart, bit by bit
SteelKomodo: especially Mario Kart
MannVsNature: It doesn't help that the AI uses items with perfect precision
MannVsNature: While every time I try to use an item it hits more of our own team than theirs
MannVsNature: Hell, half the time our own Chain Chomp chases us
SteelKomodo: Chain Chomps are jerks

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Erebus: SHALL WE SCRY?!
SteelKomodo: LET US SCRY!!
TheDeleter: LET'S SCRY PROFUSELY
TheDeleter: SCRY OUT IN TERROR
Erebus: AWWWWWWWW YEAH
MannVsNature: SCRY TIME!
TheDeleter: i'm trying to pun

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GB: So my Atari works like new. Meanwhile my Wii had to be sent in for repairs back in 2010 after a whopping three years of service. They really don't make 'em like they used to.
GB: I blame disc-based games - it's always the optical reader that messes up

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Saberwulf: I'm currently dressed like a really awkward terrorist because I'm cold

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SteelKomodo: so goops
SteelKomodo: a damp, cross Dirk is passing by
SteelKomodo: what do
RedSpy: Kick im!
SteelKomodo: D:

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GB: Mecha-Sarah has no concept of love
RedSpy: inb4 "ONLY HATE"
SteelKomodo: Nah, only cookies and hugs
TheDeleter: is Mecha-Sarah programmed to squee at babies
TheDeleter: this is important
TheDeleter: (it's not)
GB: Most of the non-essential things weren't included due to time constraints, but Mecha-Sarah does have other functions to help mimic Sarah
GB: Like an onboard food compactor
Harpy: haaa

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SteelKomodo: look what I found: http://kidicaruswiki.org/images/2/28/AR408.png
TheDeleter: ...
TheDeleter: mother of god
GB: "Ladiiiiiiiiiies~"

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Inurian: By monster blood, do you mean, like, the goosebumps story?
SteelKomodo: yes
Inurian: :D
GB: I did a thing with Monster Blood earlier this year, Inurian
GB: Josephine grew to forty feet tall
GB: She was very uncomfortable
Harpy: xD

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Inurian: I call everyone dude.
Saberwulf:  I call girls dude anyway also
Harpy: i'm a dudette tho
Saberwulf: fuck I call my GF dude sometimes
Inurian: xD
RedSpy: Should take her to . . .
RedSpy changed name to RedSpyWearingCSIMiamiShades
RedSpyWearingCSIMiamiShades: A dude ranch
Saberwulf: Hahahaha
RedSpyWearingCSIMiamiShades changed name to YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!

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Erebus: Thank god Garnet fed the cats, I had honestly forgotten that was a thing that needed to be done >​.>​
Harpy: I think getting revenge on Pech for not feeding them is high on Lordcat's priority list
TheDeleter: hahaha
TheDeleter: lordcat establishes republic of evil kitties, world is doomed
Harpy: too bad he'll just end up with the cone of shame

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SteelKomodo: Cat Fetus is best character

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GB: Garland kills Sarah, summons her to fight Celestia
GB: all the sad
SteelKomodo: D:
TheDeleter: nuuuuuuuuu

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Harpy: can I stop trying to read bagan as bagel
SteelKomodo: you can try
Harpy: although it would be hilarious if a kaiju was defeated by a giant bagel

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TheDeleter: inurian be on zf
TheDeleter: i invoke thee, o inurian of youtubes and animays, to enter our domain and play the roles
TheDeleter: i sacrifice an anime goat
TheDeleter: it had a catface
TheDeleter: i guess
TheDeleter: i dunno what do you want from me, and don't say blood because there's a whole goat's worth of it here
FarmBattlez: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah
FarmBattlez: About that
FarmBattlez: I kinda drank it all when nobody was looking
GB: It was Eshe
SteelKomodo: D:<
TheDeleter: i only just sacrificed that goat dude
TheDeleter: come on, you wanna piss off the anime gods?
TheDeleter: i don't think so, they tend to be weird shapes and lots of wings
FarmBattlez: But I was hungry
TheDeleter: leave those fuckers be man
TheDeleter: now we need to find another goat
FarmBattlez: Goats are so passe
FarmBattlez: Lets sacrifice earthworms
TheDeleter: dude, earthworms SURVIVE being chopped in half man
Inurian joined the chat 9 minutes ago
FarmBattlez: HA!
Inurian: Time for a lot of guns to suddenly pop up out of nowhere.
FarmBattlez: I knew the earthworms would work!
TheDeleter: you'd need a fucking slap chop to sacrifice a oh hello inurian
FarmBattlez: Vince Offer never fails, Del
TheDeleter: he does when it comes to hookers
FarmBattlez: I blame false advertising
FarmBattlez: Vince always says you're gonna love his nuts
FarmBattlez: Hooker doesn't and he gets kinda pissy
FarmBattlez: Still, no excuse to just slapchop someone

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Harpy: ty
SteelKomodo: np ;3
SteelKomodo: ... damnit, why do I keep typing ; when I mean to type :
SteelKomodo: it makes it look like I'm a raging flirt

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Erebus: ....Oh god.
Erebus: Voting is tomorrow, isn't it?
Harpy: yes
FarmBattlez: Prepare your ass
FarmBattlez: Its election time
SteelKomodo: D:
Erebus: ....I work in a restaurant D8

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SteelKomodo: now might be the time for Alex riding Alex into battle
Inurian: Only if alex yells "Bring me closer, I wish to hit them with my sword!"
Harpy: That is so OOC for Alex
Harpy: yet so appropriate

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Erebus was timed out 9 minutes ago
SteelKomodo: BUS NO D:
Erebus joined the chat 9 minutes ago
SteelKomodo: BUS =D
TheDeleter: you're like a dog sk
TheDeleter: OH NO HE LEFT THE HOUSE
TheDeleter: WHEN IS HE COMING BACK
TheDeleter: OH NO HE'S GONE
TheDeleter: YAY HES BACK
TheDeleter: repeat
SteelKomodo: whose to say I'm not a dog
SteelKomodo: >​_>​
SteelKomodo: <_<
Saberwulf: I KNEW IT
TheDeleter: well that doesn't explain anything!

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Inurian: Tagline for the bar
Inurian: "Nothing makes sense and it's completely amazing"

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FarmBattlez: "Damn STRAIGHT I'm the O.G. of posters! My name is Gizzooper Blizzooper! Who the fuck are you!?"
GB: OG GB

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GB: Wheatley killed Tiamat
FarmBattlez: Somehow
FarmBattlez: Oceanus' Corpse: Eh, I softened it up for ya
GB: Good to know even without FYM we can have ridiculous joke characters win epic battles
Harpy: Gloria is now my favorite Sarahsister
FarmBattlez: Welcome to the club, Harpy
Harpy: *fistbump*

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Harpy: LORDCAT DEMANDS FOOD AND CUDDLES.
Harpy: and catdrugs

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GB: All right, it's 11 PM and I'm fuckin' spent and Pech still didn't do anything
GB: All is right with the world
FarmBattlez: Pech has been in his room all this time
FarmBattlez: Listening to My Chemical Romance

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Erebus: It's okay, I don't think we can end the year with "The heart monitor's beeping began to slow until finally it flat-lined, Ann breathing her last OKAY SEE YOU GUYS NEXT YEAR"
GB: XD
Erebus: Actually, you want to see what'd happen to Pech?
FarmBattlez: That would be the worst ending
FarmBattlez: And ruin the Christmas party
GB: AND THEN ANTOINETTE WAS PERMADEAD AND SARAH DIED IN THE HOSPITAL BYE GUYS
FarmBattlez: AND OCEANUS WAS DISASSEMBLED FOREVER
FarmBattlez: AND CELESTIA'S ARM CAME ALIVE AND TRIED TO STRANGLE HER
GB: THE DISEMBODIED HAND THAT STRANGLED PEOPLE
Erebus: Pech would offer his soul and eternal service to the Dark Gods in exchange for Daemonhood, becoming this before going on an endless crusade of vengeance against the entirety of the Hub because why not.
GB: AND THEN PECH WAS TIAMAT
Erebus: Pretty much XD
FarmBattlez: PECH CONFIRMED FOR YEAR 3 VILLAIN. TIAMAT WAS RIGHT
Erebus: Nah, no one is coming back next year. NO ONE GODDAMNIT.
Erebus: NO CAMEOS NO NOTHING
GB: We'll need a drastically different setting if you wanna try that
Erebus: Nah, everyone moves to France, 'sall good.

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GB joined the chat
GB: I WILL BE VOTING IN ONE HOUR
GB: BALD EAGLES, FIREWORKS, APPLE PIE, RRRRRGH FRGH
GB left the chat

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ColorChange joined the chat
TheDeleter: im gonna take a wild guess
TheDeleter: and say you're spy

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GB: Good afternoon citizens of earth
TheDeleter: yo goops
TheDeleter: whats the haps
GB: The fate of the civilized world now depends on Erebus' wacky next-door neighbors
ColorChange: The Hill family?
GB: I tell you hwat that man ain't right
ColorChange: Speaking of ain't right, want to know what is right?
ColorChange: T-T-T-T-T-TRAINKILL
GB: TOOOOOT TOOOOOOOOT
TheDeleter: that was awesome

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GB: I am currently cheesing the fuck out of Four Heroes thanks to a few simple exploits
TheDeleter: excellent
TheDeleter: breaking games is great
GB: 1: Four Heroes has an autobattle function
GB: You can assign characters commands and they will fight for you
Inurian: Reminds me of FF12.
GB: Normally a bad idea, but there's one circumstance in which it works
GB: 2: There is an item called Hermes' Shoes that lets you always go first
GB: 3: The Wayfarer skill Escape has priority to go first and it never misses. It lets you run from battle.
ColorChange: To be fair, that's pretty much the same as picking the best strategy each fight. Just running on autopilot
GB: So what you do is you make two characters merchants and two wayfarers
GB: In autobattle, the merchants use Finder to dig up gems - going first because they're wearing the shoes - then the Wayfarers use Escape
GB: Get something to force the 3DS control disc in a direction, and leave it
GB: Suddenly infinite gems
SteelKomodo: XD

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GB: man lemme tell you what sucks
GB: My polling place didn't have any "I VOTED" stickers or pins
GB: I wanted some election swag, man

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SteelKomodo: I can never imagine the CD-I characters speaking normally.
SteelKomodo: I would always have to type them in all caps
GB: They always seem like they're shouting
GB: STRIVE FOR
SteelKomodo: YOU SAVED ME
SteelKomodo: SCRUB ALL THE FLOORS IN HYRULE

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TheDeleter: We will now pause for an interlude with noted Ork Philosopher and Wyrdboy Zograteefs.

Zog me, someone's been stealing the runtherdaz' weapons again. 'ow many times I gotta tell 'em, wifout hittin an ork upside da head a few times 'e never learns to fink proppa. Works like this, you stupid grot.

Now. You how when you got a proppa mob of boyz together we'z can krump anything dat we want, but if you only got a coupla weedy snotlings like you all you can do is leg it or get shot up? Da Waaaaaaaugh works like dat too. One lousy runt ain't gonna be able to krump anything worth krumpin, fizzcally or metterfizzcally. When you got a mob like Ghazkhull's, though, wot dey'z finkin krumps metterfizzical koncepts just as good as dey krumps humies. If Ghazkull sez Yarrick One-Eye won't die 'till he's tired of fightin' im, Death Itself ain't gonna kontradict da Biggest Boss unless 'e wants to get krumped.

But one lousy mekboy decides dat a paisley pattern makes somefin psychoreactive, da fizzcal laws gonna laugh at 'im, den stomp 'im good.

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GB joined the chat
GB: HE'S DOING IT
GB: BAH GOD KING IT'S A SLOBBERKNOCKER
ColorChange: Ey Goops!
ColorChange: http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/Elections/fullpage?id=17012629
ColorChange: Gogogo
GB: I HAVE SO MANY WINDOWS OPEN
ColorChange: 244 to 203
GB: And I was so busy with the election I forgot about Four Heroes
ColorChange: COME ON OBAMA
GB: 99 of every gem
ColorChange: pffffftahahahaa

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GB: Everyone keeps talking about Ohio like it's the fucking golden snitch

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TheDeleter: ARE WE HYPED
SteelKomodo: WE ARE HYPED
TheDeleter: good

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TheDeleter: holy shit skate 3 is the SBaHJ of video games
SteelKomodo: it kinda is

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GB: "Let me tell yew about the horrors uv 199X." "You've told that story a hundred times, Uncle Del." "Shaddup Conrad and lemme speak."
TheDeleter: :3
SteelKomodo: pfffft

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SteelKomodo: love how Widow Maker approves of the word dickblister
GB: it's wonderful
GB: Most of the best insults are ones that combine a curse with an ordinary word
SteelKomodo: thank you :3
TheDeleter: amazing
GB: see: assclown
GB: fucknugget
SteelKomodo: XD
GB: pretty sure I've seen twatwaffle
GB: that one's good too
SteelKomodo: fuckcrumpets
SteelKomodo: that's a good one too
GB: And the original: douchebag

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Saberwulf: David's gonna do what he does best
Saberwulf: Nuke the motherfucking warp
GB: We can make it tradition
GB: Every year, go to the warp once, beat the ffffffuck out of it, nuke it
ColorChange: So if last year Khorne
GB: Call it Nukemas
ColorChange: This year Tzeentch
ColorChange: Next year Nurgle
Saberwulf: It's like christmas but with horses, grimdark and supernovas
ColorChange: . . . OH GOD DOOMRIDER FOR RP YEAR 4 FINAL BOSS
GB: "He dropped every container."
Saberwulf: And then we kill the emperor, set up UTGs to get past the whole warpspace thing and bam, we've ended grimdark
Erebus: Nah, someone else can pick up Warhammer next year if they want. I'm done with it.
GB: wha
ColorChange: D:
ColorChange: NO
GB: EREBUS
GB: IS DONE
ColorChange: I CANNOT BELIEVE IT
GB: WITH WARHAMMER?!?!?!?!
TheDeleter: But what if I make a Jonesy cameo for some reason
Saberwulf: That's like... uh...
TheDeleter: What then bitch
GB: Next up: Spy is done with Mega Man, Del's done with Starcraft, and I'm done with Final Fantasy
TheDeleter: What then
Saberwulf: Like Erebus giving up Warhammer!
Erebus: Then she'll have to be visiting without Erebus :Crossarms: :dealwithit:
SteelKomodo: and I'm done with Fighting Games
TheDeleter: I refuse to deal with it, for it is dumb and you're a poopyhead
SteelKomodo: No more characters from them for me :I
Erebus: EVERYONE CAST OFF YOUR SHACKLES
Erebus: BEGIN ANEW

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GB: You know what I just realized? I'm pretty sure Spy is the only one here to never try writing a female character
GB: Maybe you could try a girl next year
GB: Like Splash Woman
GB: :P
ColorChange: No more robots

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GB: I'm happy we completed the "Chet gets revenge on Thrassis for his twisted ankle" subplot
Saberwulf: The most important

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Saberwulf: Oh god One Two Fuck You has become A Thing
GB: She's like a robot parrot
GB: THE FLORIDA EVERGLADES
Saberwulf: WORMS AND PLASTIC MINNOWS
Saberwulf: I still end up crying with laughter at that robot parrot part on Dexter's Lab
Saberwulf: it's just so goddamn stupid it's beautiful
GB: DEXTER'S SECRET DEXTER'S SECRET DEXTER'S SECRET
Saberwulf: DEXTER'S A COOKIE

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Erebus: Are you using Sarah next year, Goops?
GB: I would be very amazed if she didn't manage to show up, Bus
GB: That damn mage follows me everywhere
GB: It's the eyes. She keeps looking at me with those eyes
ColorChange: XD
Erebus: Wonderful. Norn needs a healer, after all.
ColorChange: The SarahSibs need to stick around. Especially the less common ones
Erebus: Else like a 3rd of my plots are just "Babies day out" but with a Praetor of Phyrexia.
GB: I don't know how I can bear to dump them at this point, and yeah Ariel/Gloria especially have plenty of possibilities
GB: AND THE FAMILY KEEPS GETTING BIGGER
GB: GOD DAMMIT
GB: I think I can recreate the Brady Bunch title screen at this rate
GB: ...Sarah, Ariel, Josephine, Gloria, Celestia, Skeiron, Mecha-Sarah, Cannonbeetle, Alex
GB: ah fuck I can
Saberwulf: Here's the story of a lovely lady who was bringing up four very lovely girls.
GB: Dirk: VERY lovely.
Saberwulf: Also their dad is evil, and they're magic.
GB: GARLAND IS NOT THEIR DAD
Saberwulf: ...He's not?
Saberwulf: Fuck
GB: No, I've debunked that plot twist several times now. It's just crazy enough to not work

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Erebus: Hmm. Can we flip coins in chatzy?
GB: *Erebus gets Tails, Antoinette disintegrates*

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Cornwind Evil: Now I need to figure out why Sine wasn't around for the Sentinel thing
Cornwind Evil: As, had it not been for RL, she would have done the garage sale and been back in ZF during that time
GB: Sometimes it's just like "fuck it, my writer wasn't here"
GB: Sine's pouting in her trailer
GB: "I CAN'T WORK UNDER THESE CONDITIONS"

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Saberwulf: Yo Bus, would a palette of cocaine revitalize Doomrider?
Saberwulf: Or maybe a 50-gallon drum of Omhist?
GB: Might need something exotic
Erebus: Yeah, it'd help, at least. He's too weak after the month of withdrawal and having parts of him manifested to coat weapons to make it himself.
Erebus: Problems < Drugs
GB: Take some of every drug David's got in stock and mix it together
Erebus: Oh christ