Darkness

Observation log, day... day... I don't even know any more. I've lost track of the days. But it's been a long time. Feels like years, probably been a month, maybe something in between.

There are only three of us left. Attempts to contact other stations have all failed. I think we might be alone. It's me, Twilight, and her sole remaining daughter, Gloria. We've been holed up in here in hiding from the darkness outside. We thought maybe it would go away eventually, or that help would arrive, or... something. I honestly am not sure what exactly we thought would happen.

I'm not sure why Dark Matter hasn't taken us yet. Maybe it's been busying itself elsewhere. Maybe it's recuperating from the fight it had with the Kobbers. Our greatest failure. We threw everything we had at it over the course of several days, desperately trying to finish it off, but it was too late. We were fighting something bigger than even the Kobbers, so vast we could barely comprehend it. For every Dark Matter we beat back, more came. It's blanketed the entire planet by now, it had endless resources to throw at us. The Kobbers had achieved many victories in their short reign, but they weren't prepared for this scale of attack. Kobbers fought battles. We weren't ready for an all-out war.

Dark Matter had played smart. It had steadily grown, targeting less populated areas first to quickly overwhelm local resistance and grow larger off of easy meals. It saved the Kobbers for last, and we noticed it much too late. We faced it several times, and at first we seemed to be winning, but the endless reinforcements proved too much, and as Dark Matter noticed we were tiring, it grew more eager to expend resources to defeat us. The breaks it took grew shorter, and our forces thinned gradually as more and more Kobbers were lost to the darkness over the years.

A last stand had been made. Some of the Kobbers made a sacrifice, going down fighting so that the others could flee into space and escape, hopefully to regroup on another planet with reinforcements. In the chaos, Twilight, Gloria, and I ended up unable to reach our rocket in time, and Dark Matter destroyed it. Twilight led us here to her safehouse, and we barricaded ourselves in against the alien menace. Twilight had a plan. She's a brilliant scientist and inventor, and she was close to a breakthrough in "sifter" technology, a handheld device that could warp between dimensions. She'd been working with other Kobber scientists to perfect the invention, but work had slowed as they were picked off by Dark Matter or forced to flee. Now she's trying to finish the work alone. Gloria and I don't know anything about dimensional travel, so we're not much help.

The sifter is nearly complete. Thank goodness, because we don't have much time left. Even if Dark Matter leaves us alone, we only have enough food and water left for about another three weeks before we have no choice but to abandon the shelter. Time's running out, and I can tell Twilight is feeling the strain. Gloria's doing her best to keep us sane, reading aloud to us from her large collection of books. Bless her.

I chose to write today because I've realized I may not get another chance. Instead of always putting it off until we were safe, I wanted to record this just in case something goes wrong. I don't want to be a pessimist, but I'd like to be realistic about our chances with what's outside. It's scary, but

Chatzy Madness Volume 359: Sakuya Izayoi Gives You Advice And Dabs

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Chatzy Madness Volume 358: Hit Da Button To Hit Da Bawl

RubyChao: so remember how we had oak's alolan form?
RubyChao: we have his mega evolution too
Jumpropeman: oh my giggles
Jumpropeman: they're out of control
Mluh Sheep: Oak became a DJ?!
Jumpropeman: the grand kai comparison in the comments is great
Jumpropeman: we really deserved more Grand Kai
Jumpropeman: JRM says, surprising no one
RubyChao: oh, jrm
RubyChao: i already know he's in your future folder
Jumpropeman: maybe I can repurpose the desi- please chao, I'm not THAT transparent

---

Jumpropeman: WOOF WOOF
Mluh Sheep: WOOF WOOF
Boop: boof
Boop: bork
Mluh Sheep: Well, I thought that was pretty good, all in all
Jumpropeman: I do appreciate the show balancing harley's in-depth character development and serious moments with its absurd jokes and reveling in violence
Boop: i understand nothing and yet want to be included into this elaborate ritual-
Mluh Sheep: There's a dog that barks at the end of the end credits, Harpy
Jumpropeman: OUR CLAN'S RITUAL REVEALED TO A COMMONER?!
Mluh Sheep: YOUR MISTAKE WAS TRUSTING ME
Mluh Sheep: IT SHALL BE YOUR RECKONING
Jumpropeman: barks is being charitable
Jumpropeman: the dog literally says WOOF WOOF in I think Harley Quinn's voice
Mluh Sheep: It's definitely Harley
Boop: i can't believe harley is a bulldog fan-
Mluh Sheep: Chatzy Madness: (JRM and Sheep post WOOF WOOF in Chatzy every time they finish watching an episode of Harley Quinn, for reasons I'm sure I would understand if I saw it myself)
Mluh Sheep: Goops giving us a lot of credit here
ivel: and now he'll know
ivel: because SOMEONE spoiled it
Boop: gee, sorry for asking ;V

---

Gooper Blooper joined the chat
Boop: hi goops!
RubyChao: hey goop
Boop: which i accidentally pronounced "joops" in real life and ivel was like "whyYY"
Boop: on accident, mind
Draco: It's Gif, not Gif.
Boop: shut

---

(Re: Chao doing jury duty)

Jumpropeman: do they wipe your memory if something is stricken from the record?
RubyChao: not that i know of... but how would i remember?
Boop: spoopy
Gooper Blooper: Will you buy citrus merchandise with your jury money
RubyChao: *looks at the upcoming symphogacha*
RubyChao: maybe

---

Jumpropeman: link

---

Jumpropeman joined the chat
Jumpropeman: B O I P
Brinehammer joined the chat
Jumpropeman: Boiphammer
Brinehammer: I was summoned by the Boip, is everything okay?
Jumpropeman: I think the volume and spacing is out of whack
Brinehammer: Well... Shoot.
Jumpropeman: maybe you should diversify your tool kit beyond the hammer
RubyChao joined the chat
Jumpropeman: hi RuboipChao
RubyChao: boip Boipboipboip
Jumpropeman: it's getting worse than I thought D:
Jumpropeman: mr. president
Jumpropeman: prepare the nukes

Chatzy Madness Volume 357: We Respect Your Grinch Lust

Jumpropeman: ive been eager for the next madness
Gooper Blooper: because you knew it would have the alvin and the chipmunks wiki in it, right

(later)

Jumpropeman: "I really want to find me a woman who gets stuck in tight spaces in Alvin and the Chipmunks: the Squeakquel"
Jumpropeman: put this on my gravestone

---

Merit Sheep: "12 Games of Christmas: Adolescent Santa Claus"
Merit Sheep dread
iKomodo: Good
iKomodo: Oh dear
iKomodo: much dread
Merit Sheep: I will say
Merit Sheep: JRM's article on it is well constructed though

---

Jumpropeman: oh yeah cornwind
Jumpropeman: they updated River City Girls to have a marginally better secret ending!
Cornwind Evil: Well stomp on frogs and shove a crowbar up my nose.
Jumpropeman: give me a second, I don't have a crowbar on hand
Gooper Blooper: A+ Garfield reference CW
Cornwind Evil: The fact that GB recognized that reference kinda scares me
Gooper Blooper: It was one of my favorite strips back in the day
Gooper Blooper: Garfield at his most aggressively sarcastic

---

Jumpropeman: I went to family video again today, place is stripped dry
Jumpropeman: didnt buy anything except ice cream
Jumpropeman: the few games I'd still want to buy left hadn't discounted below 10 bucks
Jumpropeman: the shelves had 1: sports games 2: kinect/playstation move games and 3: Fallout 76 :V
Gooper Blooper: they're happy no one bought their freezer yet so they could still sell ice cream

---

Bree: snom? snom.
Tori: Appletun is so good
Draco: SNOM

---

Jumpropeman: oh no
Jumpropeman: I had forgotten that I had given Dracozolt Gijinka a name
Tori: HAHA
Tori: YOU ARE AS DOOMED AS I AM
Tori: i’m sorry for your loss

Chatzy Madness Volume 356: Resting :D Face

(Re: new ZFRP setting)

MobileDraco: Let's go to Appalachia so I can do Fallout plots revolving around game-breaking glitches.
Tori: dear god, going to a setting where things are completely not what they seem
Tori: so feywilds
Jumpropeman: problem is we'd have to pay 100 dollars to make new topics for the setting
Tori: JRM PLEASE
MobileDraco: 100 a year, thanks

---

Jumpropeman: *scrolling through youtube recommended*
Jumpropeman: "THE OFFICIAL L&S LABOR AND DELIVERY!!"
Jumpropeman: I do not know why Youtube wants me to watch a woman give birth
Jumpropeman: or why they would feel it must be marked official
Jumpropeman: so tired of those fake L&S child delivery videos!
MobileDraco: D8

---

Jumpropeman: I
Jumpropeman: rented Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 from the family video
ivel: enjoy!
Jumpropeman: til death do us blart is within my grasp
Jumpropeman: they also had a bunch of random games dirt cheap like the last visit where I bought such hits as Smurf dance Party
Jumpropeman: mainly bought a bunch of kinect games no one was touching now that I have one
Jumpropeman: got animal crossing amiibo festival and some amiibo used to play it
ivel: nice
ivel: I liked amiibo festival honestly
Jumpropeman: they split them up to sell them separately but it still came out less than if you bought it near launch
ivel: I didn't like the animal crossing amiibo flood but :U
Jumpropeman: they were in a 2.99 box but didn't actually cost that for some reason
Matter Sheep: Hmmm. I see.
Matter Sheep: Hope you Blart.
Jumpropeman: blart was a buck for a five night rental
Jumpropeman: they were just happy someone took it
Jumpropeman: I was even talking about wanting to rent Paul Blart 2 at the register before CKR wandered off and found it
Jumpropeman: she wanted to rent Joker but they don't have it yet :V

Talk To Transformer, Volume 3

Lists edition! This time, I gave TTT lists of things, then watched it come up with its' own additions to that group. Maybe some of these names will prove useful? They're sort of like those name generators you see around the net...

Chatzy Madness Volume 355: Shimmer Contacts God and Patchouli Backfills Her Own Existence

Jumpropeman: is it possible
Jumpropeman: to hate chewbacca
Jumpropeman left the chat 19 hours ago
Kong Squad joined the chat 18 hours ago
Kong Squad: No
Kong Squad: It's not possible to hate Chewbacca
Brinehammer joined the chat 16 hours ago
Brinehammer: I hate Chewbacca 😈
Working Del joined the chat 10 hours ago
Working Del: can't believe the brine heel turn
Working Del left the chat 10 hours ago
Jumpropeman joined the chat 3 hours ago
Jumpropeman: brine why

---

MobileDraco: "Jumpropeman: anyone? anyone? Pressure Cooker? anyone?" <- Did we ever get these thoughts?
Jumpropeman: I never did play Pressure Cooker after that
Jumpropeman: perhaps it was too much
Jumpropeman: pressure
MobileDraco: You can play it for me next month.
Jumpropeman: finally, the person who wants to hear about pressure cooker!
MobileDraco: I so do. ;o;
Jumpropeman: I don't like the look of that pig on the right
Jumpropeman: i go to look up pressure cooker again and keep finding atari's gold mine of oddities

---

Jumpropeman: what if for christmas
Jumpropeman: I gave Sheep
Martian Sheep: No
Jumpropeman: rifftrax Rollergator
Martian Sheep: Huh
Jumpropeman: have I baffled you with this reasonable idea
Martian Sheep: I'm thoroughly baffled.
Tori: What if
Tori: girls

---

Tori: gonna test out this weighted blanket-
Tori: WHERE THE FUCK IS THIS JINGLING COMING FROM
Martian Sheep: LOOK OUT HARPY
Tori: SANTA ITS NOT FUCKING CHRISTMAS YET
Martian Sheep: IT'S THE ICE CREAM BUNNY
Tori: cease
Martian Sheep: HE'S COMING FOR YOU
Tori: i already ate ice cream you piece of crap
Draco: ALMOST CHRISTMAS MEANS IT WASN'T CHRISTMAS