What Happens In Vegas

-LAS VEGAS, NEVADA-

Life was good for Blade, at least by his standards.

It had been a year and a half since his escape from Manhattan. He had broken out of prison during a citywide crisis when dragons had attacked, led by a maniacal knight on a single-minded mission. Long story.

But the long and short of it was that here he was, clear across the country, ready to begin anew. It was here he had settled in among the nightlife. His history of petty crimes didn't follow him here, and he had a fresh start. Perhaps he was interested in turning over a new leaf, or perhaps he was just paranoid of running into a kobber, but whatever the reason, he'd kept clean since his arrival.

That didn't mean he didn't still skirt around the darker edges of urban life, though. Hell, he was in Las Vegas, a city notorious for dark dealings, nearly as much as Manhattan when it had been at its worst a few years back. Gambling, weapons dealers, black markets, bootlegs, drugs, and ladies who promised a fun time were par for the course here.

So it was that Blade was watching one of the oldest scams in the book play out before his eyes.

"Step right up, all who dare! Anyone is welcome to challenge my client!" a small man wearing a top hat waved his cane enthusiastically, addressing the crowd of onlookers Blade formed a small part of. "Just forty dollars to try your luck, and a prize of two hundred if you score a victory!" Two scruffy men in front of Blade looked at each other.

"I hear this Balrog guy is a total pushover."

"Yeah, a dude in his fifties knocked him out last weekend!"

"Didn't it used to be twenty dollars to enter?"

"He must be losing too much money, heh. What a joke. I'm going in."

Blade knew all about this little carnival trick. A tough guy would invite adventurous tourists an opportunity to test their mettle, and during his initial arrival, would take a fall and get a reputation for being a pushover. Then, after the word had spread, the price of entry would shoot up and the tough guy would quit playing around, fleecing would-be heroes before moving to another city to start all over again. He watched, rolling his eyes as the scruffy guy paid the barker and stepped into the ring.

Chatzy Madness Volume 122: Wrestlemania Edition

RubyChao: "I was starring absentmindedly out a window while eating a snack late one night, when I noticed a praying mantis had crawled onto the outer surface of the glass. It had a moth in its claw. As I starred into its cold, black eyes, it seemed to cock its head to one side. Then, suddenly, it snapped the moth in half, and strolled right off the window."
RubyChao: wids why
SteelKomodo: damn it widow maker

---

Cornwind Evil: Last Night was the WWE Hall of Fame
Cornwind Evil: Mr T literally spent so long talking about his mother they sent in Kane to drag him off stage.
Cornwind Evil: And Ultimate Warrior, oh god....they promised him a live mic and gave it to him
Cornwind Evil: He literally went on for FORTY MINUTES
SteelKomodo: D:
Cornwind Evil: It was like five or six speeches jammed together, mixed with "The Self-Destruction of the Ultimate Warrior was mean" over and over

---

RubyChao: if you asked zfrp samus about the baby, she'd probably be like "It was kinda cute, but I thought it'd be a lot safer to just give it to the science team. Of course that didn't work out... Anyhow, it was instrumental in me wiping out Mother Brain, and it's too bad about it dying. Still, no great loss - at least the Metroids are taken care of."
RubyChao: "...Huh? 'Feelings of loss and depression' about it? Who told you that crap?"
RubyChao: (why am i picturing her talking to myriam)
GoopaMania: because myriam would almost certainly ask her about the baby
GoopaMania: She's trying to sort out all these internet rumors
GoopaMania: So all manner of nonsense could pop up on the interwebs
RubyChao: myriam interviews samus about other m
RubyChao: samus spends the entire interview confused at how anyone could get everything this wrong
RubyChao: brb
GoopaMania: Myriam hands Samus a copy of the game and tells her to SEES FER HERSELF
RubyChao: Samus makes it through the opening cutscene
RubyChao: Calmly turns the game off, ejects the disc, throws it in the air
RubyChao: And blasts it with like five missile
GoopaMania: What does the opening cutscene do
GoopaMania: Establish her as inferior?
RubyChao: assuming we're talking all the opening stuff before actual gameplay, there's the redepiction of super's end scene, ass shots, and the BABY'S CRY
RubyChao: i think that would be enough to make samus blast it out of existence already
GoopaMania: "Ass shots? Those are supposed to be endgame! You don't just give it away to any schmoe who can't beat the game in three hours!"
RubyChao: samus believes in making people work for their fanservice
GoopaMania: You want that bikini, you gotta earn it
GoopaMania: or look it up online
T-MINUS 20 MINUTES joined the chat
RubyChao: hello spy
T-MINUS 20 MINUTES: Did I just walk in on Myriam: Other M
RubyChao: yes
T-MINUS 20 MINUTES: Excellent
RubyChao: the Samus Smear Campaign that myriam investigates

Wrassle Reference: Silence's Moveset

Similar to how I once, long ago, made a glossary of information for Sarah and Celestia's magic spells, I decided to make this post about the wrestling moves Silence likes to perform, so as to fill in people who don't know what a move does by its name.

Silence's repertoire consists almost entirely of heavy-duty power moves. She's not light on her feet and she doesn't do fancy jumping maneuvers. Instead, she focuses on hard-hitting, high-impact attacks that intimidate and brutalize her foes. What follows is a list of the special moves Silence is most likely to use in battle, although she can improvise if need be.

Chatzy Madness Volume 121: I Have All the Booty I Need

Mewrio: I had a Pit, too
Mewrio: I was SO close
RubyChao: >​pit flanked by utsuhos
RubyChao: *eyebrows*

---

Harpy: apparently i got a girl named sophia tryin to send me junk mail about talkin about sex
Harpy: sophia you're better than this, go lift some weights

---

Harpy: i have an important question
Harpy: can Pit use photostop well
SteelKomodo: hmmmm
SteelKomodo: maybe :U
Harpy: i ask because a gag involves pit threatening to show josephine dirk's baby photos
Harpy: "NOOO- wait I don't have any! I was split from you 2 years ago, you idiot!"

---

John_Freeman: ZOMBIE GOASTS LEAVE THIS PLACE
IT: But this is our house :(
SteelKomodo: :(
John_Freeman felt sorry for them.
John_Freeman blow up the house and kills the zombie goasts so they are at piece.
IT changed name to REST
REST changed name to IN
IN changed name to PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEACEEEEEEEE
SteelKomodo: D:

Another New Customer

-MANHATTAN PUBLIC LIBRARY-

Another lovely spring day. Gloria opened a library window, leaned out a bit, and took a deep whiff of fresh air.

"Ahh. I've missed this weather. What a beautiful day..."

Gloria abruptly turned away from the window.

"...to catch up on my reading."

The summoner girl took a seat on one of the library's couches, cracking open a book on prehistoric animals and consuming its information like her sisters Sarah and Josephine consumed baked goods.

---

Upon finishing her book, Gloria looked away from printed pages for the first time in over 90 minutes to notice a cardboard box on the library's front steps for the first time. Gloria stood up and started walking over. This happened pretty often - people would drop by the library to dump off their unwanted old books. Based on their condition, Gloria would either add them to the library's collection, move them to the basement archives, or offer them up on the Free Books rack by the entrance. Just like the library's perpetual drought of customers, Gloria knew she shouldn't enjoy getting boxes of other people's books so much, but she couldn't help but be a little selfish about it.

She grabbed the box and began to drag it inside, only for something inside the box to pull back, giving her quite a scare.

"Hey! Hands off!"

"GAAGH?!" Gloria backpedaled, tripping over the threshold and landing on her rear. A moment of silence followed as she blinked owlishly at the talking box.

"Ssssss... Honestly, the nerve of some people. You can't just rip someone's clothes off like that!"

 "...Clothes?"

"Well, not technically, but this box is like a second skin to me. I feel naked without it."

"...Who ARE you?"

The box stood up.

Chatzy Madness Volume 120: The Scariest Chatzy Madness Ever

RubyChao: "ENJOY MY GAME. YOU’RE SUFFERING WILL HAIL MY RETURN"
RubyChao: evil entities are not known for their spelling
Harp-e: plzz
Harp-e: ruby play the super metroid instead of creepypasta
Harp-e: :U
SteelKomodo: ben pls go home
SteelKomodo: you're drunk
RubyChao: ben attempts to harass the kobbers in 2014
RubyChao: is limited by the fact that he's a statue
Harp-e: Widow Maker crushes the hell out of his logic
Harp-e: widow maker for first lady
RubyChao: logic is so crushed that he just explodes entirely
SteelKomodo: lolz

---

RubyChao: "The more times I hit him, the more crumpled he looked, and after about seven hits, Koops spun around once and bursted into shreds of paper. Once the battle was over, Mario appeared to be back in Rougeport, standing on the gallows (the place where they hang people.), and Goombella was missing from my party. The town had a darker tone to it, the colors were darker, and when you try to talk to people, it doesn't work. In fact, you could walk through the people."
SteelKomodo: D:
RubyChao: TERRIFYING
RubyChao: "Not sure what to do, I walked up to Luigi and tried to interact with him. Upon clicking the A button... Mario fell down to the ground dead. Not gory, just the usual game over animation, with the game over music."
Gooper Blooper: Chao I'm scarred for life, I hope you're happy
Gooper Blooper: That was the illustrations of Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark in text form
RubyChao: i am happy, as video game creepypastas give me POWEEEEER
RubyChao hulks up and turns into SuperChao

---

Gooper Blooper: One of my favorite things about this Godzilla playset I bought is the tagline on the back of the box. It says "Save the city!"
Gooper Blooper: this is funny because the "military" that comes with the set consists of two helicopters, two jets, and a boat
Gooper Blooper: against Godzilla
Gooper Blooper: um
SteelKomodo: so long
Gooper Blooper: And then there's Muto
Gooper Blooper: And I don't know much about Muto but from looking at him I don't think he's going to save anything either
SteelKomodo: probably not :U
RubyChao: RIP the city
RubyChao: died of godzilla

A New Customer

-MANHATTAN PUBLIC LIBRARY-

Another quiet day at the library. Gloria knew she should hope for a more bustling workplace - it'd mean more people were reading - but she loved the quiet and solitude so much, she didn't mind.

She thought again of her plans for the summer. Ariel and her friend Penny were going to be signing on as summer help, leaving Gloria free to travel to the ZFS King of Beasts again. Just like last year, her presence there was to help watch over her family, but this time she'd be ensuring the safety of her parents, not her sisters... although she'd heard Dirk was planning on returning to the ZFS as well, and nowadays, wherever Dirk went, Josephine tended to follow.

It wasn't that Gloria didn't trust Ariel and her buddy to keep the library running smoothly, it was just... being a librarian here was a job for someone who was laid back, calm, and able to sit on their rear for extended periods. Ariel... was not that sort of person. She couldn't get the image out of her head of Ariel wandering off to do something or other, and Penny running around with books all over the floor. And her hair was on fire, somehow.

Gloria stopped her musings as she suddenly had the distinct feeling that she was no longer alone. She thought she'd heard the door, but couldn't be sure. She turned her head to look at the entrance. Sure enough, someone was there - but not anyone Gloria knew.