Chatzy Madness Volume 230: Diaper Duty 2: The Eggs

Brilliant Kid: I went on a huge nostalgia tv bender like a year or so ago and ended up watching a bunch of scrap heap challenge and robot wars
SteelKomodo: oh lawdy
Brilliant Kid: And there was one episode of robot wars that featured one of the tean's websites and it was just hilariously dated and awesome
SteelKomodo: amazing
Brilliant Kid: The most dated thing I watched was 10 seconds of Pat Sharp's mullet in the intro to Funhouse. Somehow his hair was even worse than I remembered which is just amazing really

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Gooper Blooper joined the chat
RubyChao: hello goopy
harpizza: ruby was wondering what was keeping you
harpizza: was it chocolate
harpizza: chatzy madness
harpizza: chatzy madness engraved into chocolate?
RubyChao: that sounds like some delicious chatzy madness
harpizza: chatzy madness about chocolate?
Jumpropeman: hi goopery bloopery
Gooper Blooper: hello frands
Gooper Blooper: Long story short I have some Offseason Projects I've been working on
harpizza: >​offseason projects
harpizza: SaRahPG is happening
Gooper Blooper: and one way to make myself do them is to go "Self, no chatzy until you make some progress"
Gooper Blooper: because chatzy destroys creativity unless it's ded
RubyChao: that's a policy i should take more often
RubyChao: because oh my god that's true
Gooper Blooper: *productivity, not creativity
Gooper Blooper: we're ALWAYS creative
harpizza: i dunno how i get my stuff done aside from bursts of inspiration
harpizza: if i'm inspired, no matter how distracted I get, it gets done
Jumpropeman: one way to make sure I would write fites is refusing to play computer games until all the ones in the pipeline are done
Jumpropeman: and staying away from chatzy was just a way to avoid distraction
Jumpropeman: every time I hear a boop I HAVE to read what someone said!
Jumpropeman: I might miss some prime memes

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iKomodo: I'm pretty sure it's not news now but there's a third Sharknado movie and it's literally subtitled "Oh Hell No"
iKomodo: which I'm pretty sure was the world's reaction to learning there was a third one
iKomodo: Like apparently the Asylum is completely straight-faced about the movies it makes? But there's no way they're not aware of how dumb Sharknado is, considering the marketing
Gooper Blooper: Snakes On A Plane really did launch a dynasty, didn't it
iKomodo: It did
Gooper Blooper: Like I mean there were obviously silly-bad movies before then but SOAP really seemed to kick-start the genre
Gooper Blooper: lel the movie's acronym is soap
Jumpropeman: Asylum made Snakes on a TRAIN
iKomodo: ...oh fuck, there's gonna be a 4th one
iKomodo: July 2016
Jumpropeman: apparently its so bad its not a B Movie
Jumpropeman: its a Z movie
Jumpropeman: "Z movies are films that are low-budget that have qualities lower than B movies."
Jumpropeman: harsh much, wikipedia?
Gooper Blooper: skipped C and went all the way to Z
Gooper Blooper: And wikipedia is as stuffy and deadpan as they come, so when THEY diss you you know you fucked up
Jumpropeman: apparently there are C Movies, but they are like, cable tv B Movies
iKomodo: Ok so here's how it goes
iKomodo: the ending of Sharknado 3 is a cliffhanger
iKomodo: you vote on the outcome by tweeting with hashtags
iKomodo: and Sharknado 4 will be a direct continuation based on the outcome of voting
iKomodo: That's... kinda weird
Jumpropeman: what kind of cliffhanger could sharknado have
Gooper Blooper: Well, it's something different
Gooper Blooper: Obviously that the sharks aren't all accounted for yet or something
Jumpropeman: Sharknado 4: Sharkicane, or Tsharknami?
iKomodo: I really don't wanna spoil it
iKomodo: but lemme say it could make or break Sharknado 4, not that there was much to begin with
iKomodo: Also they actually use the word Sharkicane in the third one, jrm
Jumpropeman: oh wow
iKomodo: it's the hypothetical scenario where multiple Sharknados combine into a super-storm of teeth and bullshit
Gooper Blooper: sharkicane final boss 2017
Jumpropeman: I still havent' seen a single sharknado
iKomodo: I don't know if I should recommend it to you, jrm
iKomodo: knowing full well you'd watch scrambled cable porn because you're that kind of person
Gooper Blooper: As I recall, JRM doesn't relish bad movies the same way he does bad games, but I could be wrong
iKomodo: I mean, it's cheesy, over-the-top and hilariously dumb, but I think it's also consciously taking the piss out of itself
Gooper Blooper: Spy on the other hand would watch sixty minutes of a claymation jar of mayonnaise singing Pumpkin Hill and deem it the greatest thing he's ever seen
iKomodo: ...spy go watch sharknado
iKomodo: right now
iKomodo: i'll wait :P
Jumpropeman: I like bad movies, I just don't watch movies as much as I used to in general
Spapstablook: Goops
Spapstablook: How dare you slander me like that
Spapstablook: It'd have to have John Cena's theme layered over it too or I wouldn't even consider it
Jumpropeman: and SK please, I wouldn't watch scrambled cable pron. I have the internet to watch scrambled porn on
Spapstablook: Oh, and who could forget Flame Hyenard and the Delfino Plaza theme
Jumpropeman: oh god how have I not heard of Flame Hyenard til now
Gooper Blooper: BURRRRN
Spapstablook: Nah, my main villain next year is going to be sports injuries
Gooper Blooper: Sports Injuries attempts to sabotage The New Better Olympics

Chatzy Madness Volume 229: Lunchables Wiki

RubyChao: >​find cool halloween collab for all the touhous ever
RubyChao: >​somehow they completely forgot utsuho, to the point where i checked their list of characters and it goes right from Rin to Koishi
RubyChao: me right now
RubyChao: (also aya was dressed as pit and if only it had been utsuho, dammit)
SteelKomodo: lel
SteelKomodo: all the lel
Redspycameo: LEL in a CELL
Redspycameo: The all vampire VEW PPV
SteelKomodo: hahaha

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A Weapon To Surpass Metal Gear: *starts round of Isaac*
A Weapon To Surpass Metal Gear: *boss 1 is Rag Man, who has homing shots and constantly-reviving mooks*
A Weapon To Surpass Metal Gear: Ed why do you hate me
A Weapon To Surpass Metal Gear: Why did you ever think this was a good idea

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(Nora, a Season 5 antagonist who was spared, is killed by her superior, who is revealed to be Alocyn, a minor antagonist from Season 3)

Gooper Blooper: *starts reading brine post*
Gooper Blooper: oh dear
A Weapon To Surpass Metal Gear: Yessss Brineplot
Gooper Blooper: Really impressed that Season 3 stuff is coming back, Alocyn and Aevar's stuff was similar to Julius in that we got a brief glimpse but there was clearly a lot more that could be done
Brinehammer: Hey guys. Who's ready to punch Alocyn in the face.... next year?!
Gooper Blooper: next yearrrrrrrrr
Gooper Blooper: she's had it coming for quite a while
Brinehammer: Whole centuries!
A Weapon To Surpass Metal Gear: punching people who deserve it is like half of Undyne's hobbies!
Brinehammer: I have a bunch of plans for one-off battles, fights, quests, all the usual... ​Plus, like Aevar, Alocyn can keep coming back from the dead until she can't, so instead of just laughing evilly behind some walls or whatever, there'll be plenty of chances to wreck her shit/have her wreck shit.​
A Weapon To Surpass Metal Gear: ​Yessss
Gooper Blooper: srspost
RubyChao: ​oh god, rip nora
RubyChao: ​ASH DID IT ALL FOR NOTHING
Gooper Blooper: ​get dunked on, ash
Brinehammer: ​I... yeah, I didn't want to rain on his parade, but the second Nora escaped from Earth she was a dead woman. That's also why Ton never said goodbye to Mary- they tried to leave as fast as they possibly could.​
RubyChao: ​at least Ton and Roger are still alive, i hope they show next year... as more than corpses
Gooper Blooper: On the flipside, FV will probably throw a dang party :V
RubyChao: kek
RubyChao: chanting "DING DONG, ​NORA IS DEAD​"
Brinehammer: ​They weren't going to- Koplot really was supposed to just be one season and then over/done with- but now? They loved Nora, and Alocyn killed her. They're definitely coming back for revenge.​
RubyChao: ​awww yeah
Gooper Blooper: ​Confirming that Mary will be back next year, in completely unrelated news
Gooper Blooper: ​another six months of energy drinks and sameface awaits you
RubyChao: ​reminder that nobody realized mary was KOed due to sameface
iKomodo: ​Ash needs to git gud
Gooper Blooper: ​He did. How do you think Christine got pregnant?
Gooper Blooper pushed down stairs

Chatzy Madness Volume 228: Tickle Him Until He Pees Himself

RubyChao: "Spells And Whistles started out as a humorous fantasy strip, then became more known for several false starts, unexplained hiatuses, announcements of abandonment, and even a few failed reboots in different formats before finally being abandoned again for what is assumed to be the final time. The site is now completely offline with no archives, and the domain redirects to Good Ship Chronicles, yet another abandoned series by the same artist."
RubyChao: how dead can you get
RubyChao: really dead

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Gooper Blooper: ​I like how Sarah is frands with all three of harpy's undertale characters already
Gooper Blooper: ​it was a natural friendship
Harpy: ​sarah is the natural friend of all harpchars because sarah is my favorite and i am the most biased piece of shit there is :D

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Del: i found lesser dog
RubyChao: pet lesser dog
Gooper Blooper: pet it
RubyChao: do it
Del: THERE IS NO WAY TO STOP THIS MADNESS
Harpy: pet it
Harpy: keep petting
Del: it's nearly off the screen
RubyChao: keep petting
RubyChao: it gets better
Gooper Blooper: just keep petting it

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SteelKomodo: this is the dumbest research i've ever done
SteelKomodo: but you know how Sonic in the 90's was mad about chili dogs?
SteelKomodo: well, I did a quick look-up
SteelKomodo: and it seems his favourite type is Washington D.C. half-smoke
SteelKomodo: who knew his tastes were so specific?

Job Interview

Helios Canicco flipped through a magazine printed years ago, occasionally stealing a glance at the clock. He sighed - his shift should have ended by now, but he'd had to stick around and wait for someone who was trying to get into the hospital. Apparently, the King of Beasts was the only one willing to hire them in the area.

It made sense. There had once been a full team of capable doctors at the King of Beasts' medical ward to care for injured kobbers and citizens alike, but they'd lost several doctors recently. Grendel and Glass had been elsewhere... Keiran had lost his life fighting Yagren... and Doc Gerbil had turned on them with an evil scheme of his own. Of course, Dr. Nerique was always on hand, but he and Helios alone wouldn't be enough to carry the bulk of the work, even with the few others around. The hospital wasn't bustling now, but Helios knew that, come late spring, it would be. They needed to add someone to the staff, but doctors weren't always easy to find... and so it had come to this.

"It smells like desperation to me..." Helios sighed under his breath. "Now why would they have such a hard time finding new doctors?"

Chatzy Madness Volume 227: How Long Is A Potato

RubyChao: "I want a timbersaw announcer pack where he never discusses the game. He never talks about towers falling, couriers dying, or buildings fortified. All he talks about are trees. No matter what happens, he talks about trees. In the hero pick screen he won't make quips about what heroes are picked, he talks about trees. When people type gg or b in chat he doesn't make a remark, he talks about trees. When someone disconnects he doesn't even mention it, he only mentions trees. Trees, forever, and ever, and ever. Over 1000 lines about different trees. Pine trees, oak trees, redwoods, palm trees, every kind of tree. Leaves, sticks, branches, acorns, everything tree-related is discussed in explicit detail, with no regard whatsoever for the game at hand."

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RubyChao: why does this guy look like Mr. X
Gooper Blooper: I didn't know Mr. X was a nudist vampire
RubyChao: look, there was a lot of backstory that didn't make it into the actual game

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RubyChao: 'Power Plant Guy'
Once my cousin Thomas was out testin' his Pokemon when he did something odd. Something happened and the power plant manager thought he was the part stealer! He challenged him to a Pokemon Battle. He had 6 level 100 Kakunas who knew Zap Cannon. WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! His game froze up.
Gooper Blooper: it's totally true my uncle works at nintendo

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Gooper Blooper: >​chao's even looking up Other M on TV Tropes
Gooper Blooper: I'm sorry everyone, but he's lost to us
Gooper Blooper: Metroid fever has claimed him once more
iKomodo: Oh no D:
RubyChao: it's cyclical
RubyChao: it was only in remission
RubyChao: by cracking open fusion i unleashed it upon myself
RubyChao: ...actually, thinking on it
RubyChao: i'm pretty sure i only used like
RubyChao: one Metroid thing this entire season
RubyChao: that's what happens when THEY KEEP GIVING YOU NOTHING NEW TO WORK WITH
RubyChao is using Hunters and Pinball by 2020
Gooper Blooper: an entire plot centered around Metroid Prime Hunters: First Hunt

Rejected Characters Depot IV

The offseason is a time for brainstorming. While I'm sure most people are like me in that the bulk of their details and minutiae for their plots is come up with during the season, perhaps even on the fly, I'd say all of us get lots of ideas during our dormant winter period. Vague, big ideas that float through the mind and are pondered in turn, each one examined from different angles to determine if it's worth taking to the big leagues.

Here are some folks who ultimately failed that test, though as with previous Rejected Characters Depot entrants, this isn't necessarily 100% the end of the line for everyone here - it's just pretty likely that they're never going to do much more than sit in this blog post.

Chatzy Madness Volume 226: It Works

SteelKomodo: I tried toffee vodka today
The Invisibree: I assume it tasted like ass?
SteelKomodo: it was okay, but tbh i think the vodka spoils it a bit
SteelKomodo: it had a rather caramel taste, but there's the chemical vodka sting that kind of fights against it
The Invisibree: ^ my opinion of booze in general
The Invisibree: basically "it would be good except for the alcohol part"

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The Invisibree: whatcha doin
RubyChao: playing metroid romhacks
Schrödingers Inkling: Loafing
Schrödingers Inkling: Intense loafing

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Gooper Blooper: So I'm watching this battlebots video
Gooper Blooper: And on the old show there was this robot named Herr Gepounden
Gooper Blooper: The video is of a non-official tournament, and some of the robots had to change their name because of copyright concerns
SteelKomodo: oh?
Gooper Blooper: Herr Gepounden changed it's name to First Abe Lincoln On The Moon
Gooper Blooper: The team also had a spare Herr Gepounden (in case the first one broke) and they entered that one too, and they called this one "Ernst Preamps, Herrstylist To The Stars"
Gooper Blooper: And both of them won so many fights that they're now facing each other
Gooper Blooper: the name graphic is all smushed trying to cram both of those jumbles in there
Spy Waits on Huge Lines for Do: Oh god
SteelKomodo: hahahahaha
Gooper Blooper: The robot is as simple as it gets, too, which makes the name funnier
Gooper Blooper: It's a box with two big wheels and a hammer sticking out. He attacks by spinning in place.
Gooper Blooper: Also fun fact Herr Gepounden is still showing up at robot events to this day, making it the oldest still-active combat robot in the world

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RubyChao: i'd say "and then i did a metroidplot next year"
RubyChao: but i kinda spent the Ardea seasons mining metroid for all i could plot-wise
Gooper Blooper: SURELY THERE'S MORE TO MINE
RubyChao: well yeah
Gooper Blooper: wait, I got it
RubyChao: BOMB TORIZO, SPORE SPAWN, AND CROCOMIRE
RubyChao: MEGAPLOT 2016
Gooper Blooper: Metroid Prime Pinball Plot
RubyChao: "The name "Elephant Bird" is the result of a mistranslation, similar to Varia Suit. The Japanese name for this creature is simply 鳥人像 "Chōjin-zō", meaning "Birdman Image" or, as commonly translated, Chozo Statue. However, "Zō" also means "elephant" in Japanese, with a similar kanji, 象."
SteelKomodo: hahaha
Gooper Blooper: IT'S A GIRAFFE

GB's Vidya 2015: Year In Review

It's that time again! Every year I make a sequel to my 2012 "100 Games" series by reviewing every single vidya I beat that year. As usual, the only qualification for a game to make the list is that I completed the main objective. Sometimes legit, sometimes I cheese it, whatever - if I saw the end, I put it on the list and talk about it.

After last year's disappointingly short list, I knew I had to step up my gaming. I pulled it off, and this year's list is three times the length of last year's, clocking in at 15 titles. This is, however, still inferior to 2013's 21-strong roster.

Longtime readers will know the drill - I've ranked these games in a rough order from worst to first, but as usual I'm not that great at ranking, although I enjoy doing it - I can usually figure out the worst game and the best game pretty quickly, or at least make tiers, but ordering within a tier is not easy and can often change on a whim. Suffice it to say I consider everything I beat this year save the bottom-ranked game to be at least decent, and the bottom game was at least not offensively bad!

The crop this year is even more old and obscure than usual - 13 of the 15 games are over a decade old, and many of them are over two decades old. I hope to include some more mainstream titles next time, but I do prefer talking about games people don't know about, since you can only write "super mario 64 was a good game" so many times before people stop caring, y'know? Anyway, on with the show.