RubyChao: "so anyway, i started blasting"
Jumpropeman: were there any non-targets you DIDN'T kill
Harpy: chaaao, did you blow up corpse piles agaaaain?
RubyChao: only the ones i knocked unconscious earlier before things all went to hell
No Scope! Power Bomb!: Why the heck did you kill 124 non targets!?
MobileDraco: Chao is an overachiever. :3
Gooper Blooper: He hit a LOT of men! And some women too apparently
RubyChao: i was trying to do a challenge that involved "get seen doing a kill and thus have witnesses, then remove all witnesses via KO or kill"
RubyChao: but in this case it started spiraling out of control because i got witnesses to my witnesses and so on and so forth and finally i went "fuck it" and decided to just massacre everyone on the map
RubyChao: there can be no witnesses if no one is alive
Harpy: well i guess that technically completes the challenge
RubyChao: it does!
RubyChao: it counted!
Harpy: astounding
---
Modus Sheep: There's another space lady from Gooseworx to be turned into a hardened criminal:
Jumpropeman: well, time to make another Blastoplot
RubyChao: it worked for nova
Jumpropeman: i think I'd like this supernova design more if she didn't have her tongue sticking out
Modus Sheep: What if she was sweating constantly, JRM?
Jumpropeman: give her a little fang and eyebrows through the hair while you're at it
Harpy: aww jrm but she's just the ;P
Jumpropeman: I think the sharp points implies a character who's more excitable rather than the dopiness implied by a hanging out tongue
Gooper Blooper: she probably would be sweaty after six minutes of constant gyrating
Jumpropeman: if I use her I'd probably airbrush the tongue out :V
Gooper Blooper: I bet she'll get fanart, but I also bet every single piece of fanart will include the tongue
Modus Sheep: Make the tongue
Modus Sheep: BIGGER
---
Jumpropeman mistypes Curse of the Dead Gods as Curse of the Dad Gods
Jumpropeman: Curse of the Dad Bods
---
Modus Sheep: I miss writing Camilla.
Modus Sheep stares into the middle-distance
Gooper Blooper: I'm a fan of Yakuza Plot! It's nice to cut loose and just bash stuff
Gooper Blooper: guess you'll have to make her a regular again, sheep
Modus Sheep: :I
Modus Sheep: She had little arcs against Neelsen and COLONEL BOGEY himself
Modus Sheep: I'm running out golfers to pit her against!
Gooper Blooper: Quick, Chao, bring back Lara
Modus Sheep: Clearly, we need another golfing-based plot
RubyChao: i am happy to bring back lara
RubyChao: she cute
Jumpropeman: no
Jumpropeman: we need the ultimate golf challenge
Jumpropeman: Camilla, do you think you can get it within HIS?
Gooper Blooper: oh man
Gooper Blooper: let's settle it in pebble beach
Modus Sheep: oh no
Gooper Blooper: televised world championships
Gooper Blooper: the world is watching
Jumpropeman: https://all-worlds-alliance.fandom.com/wiki/Craig_Stadler
Jumpropeman: "Personality
Craig is known for giving guidance to others."
Jumpropeman: "In Chapter 14, Craig appears at the end of the chapter telling the readers that 'Time for hell to break loose'."
Gooper Blooper: I was going to quote both of those XD
Gooper Blooper: I love how all of his appearances aside from TIME FOR HELL TO BREAK LOOSE are him just popping up and surprising other characters
Jumpropeman: Craig Stadler Pop Scare
Gooper Blooper: https://all-worlds-alliance.fandom.com/wiki/Category:Golfer
Gooper Blooper: From this wiki's homepage, in the rules: "Please do not write any unimportant statements such as 'This guy is my husband' or 'The best boy' on any pages."
Harpy: but it is an important statement
Jumpropeman: Craig Stadler is the only golfer in all the universes
Jumpropeman edits Stadler's page to say The Best Boy
---
Harpy: i am just charmed
Harpy: bewitched, perhaps
Gooper Blooper: maybe even Frasiered or I Love Lucyed
---
Draco: Dreamcast:
Jumpropeman: better make your move soon Marisa or Dreamcast is gonna settle for the fumo swarm version-
Jumpropeman: marisa fumo comes with a pizza after all...
Draco: Marsa Kisame grabs onto you and begins stealing your stuff.
Jumpropeman: stealing my heart-
---
NOT ENOUGH RED ORBS ARRGGHH: "The lore from Ishtar is great. There was the production assistant who went looking for a blue-eyed camel in the market. Not realizing how rare they were, and that he should have just bought it right then and there, he went looking for another one so he'd have a price to bargain with the first guy. By the time he figured that out, the first guy had eaten the camel."
Draco: O_o
Jumpropeman: the parable of the delicious camel
---
Modus Sheep: "FINALLY, intimidating Salazzle art that isn't horny!" -Hooded Pitohui, 2021.
Modus Sheep: I constantly forget this is, apparently, a thing
Harpy: people really wanna fuck a sexy lizard
Harpy: i mean look at maya
Jumpropeman: look at her
Jumpropeman: that's the face of a woman tearing open her people's history one plot at a time!
Modus Sheep: I'm looking at her, and I'm trying to understand the anatomy of her tail placement
Jumpropeman: that particular art does make it seem like it's not at the tailbone
Jumpropeman: maybe it's just her haunched legs that make it seem so odd?
Gooper Blooper: gonna need Maya shots from behind to get to the bottom of this mystery-
Modus Sheep: Fun pose there though
Draco: lol
Draco: Good pun, Goops.
---
Draco: So this entire plot is "Look, Brume haters were right all along"? ;V
Modus Sheep: Bruma's had it too good for too long!
Gooper Blooper: So far, that seems to be the case! THEY'RE DOIN IT TO THEMSELVES!
Modus Sheep: The Brume would get along great with the Forgotlings!
Draco: We're gonna get to the last event and Garrute will be there throwing old artifacts into his stew pot, trying to get the people of the Brume to eat history.
Modus Sheep: I'm mad that I laughed :I
Jumpropeman: those fish on his belt? HISTORIC ARTIFACTS
Modus Sheep: Like, not just a chuckle either >:I
Gooper Blooper: bold prediction: Garrute is literally the only Brume that has done nothing wrong. Like he's just this totally innocent dude trying to do the best for his people and every last fucking one of them screwed up and hid it from him. Because him being the big boss behind it all is too easy!
Modus Sheep: Literally every Brume?!
Gooper Blooper: ALL OF THEM! We already know Maya's sin so she's covered
Draco: Endangered fish whose cry is "The Brume invented Bitcoin!"
Gooper Blooper: XD
---
Jumpropeman joined the chat
MobileDraco: Hi JRM.
MobileDraco: I'm ready to remove this professor's tenure permanently.
MobileDraco: By giving her a bad RateMyProfessor review.
Jumpropeman: i don't think the academy would let a giant golden slab stand
Harpy: time to be blacklisted
MobileDraco: What about a modestly sized one in her classroom?
MobileDraco: Or having it lie down?
Jumpropeman: also how dare Kamek disturb the sleep of the Game Girls
Harpy: kamek's the true evil
Harpy: shut him down
Harpy: perish, fool
Harpy: silvania you shoulda asked about her experience first...
Harpy: but that's okay she'll do some basic stuff and clean up, get that mise in plaz or whatever
Harpy: mise en place
MobileDraco: Silvania is still getting used to having her staff members summon staff members that summon more staff members. :V
Harpy: Sonia isn't gonna do that, there's some locals who need the job more
MobileDraco: THEN KAMEK IS FIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111one
Harpy: kamek the janitor
iKomodo: I’ve suddenly started writing a lot of blogposts
iKomodo: and I don’t know why
Gooper Blooper: The muse bit you like it did Harpy, perhaps
iKomodo: Maybe
Harpy: i am a-mused
MobileDraco: Mom Harpy made a pun. 😱
MobileDraco: *Mom, Harpy
Harpy: oh god i'm not a mom
Gooper Blooper: you're a mom to all these characters
Gooper Blooper: *holds up Kamek* Your child
Dobile Mel: Lmao
iKomodo: Kek
Harpy: oh no
Harpy: my child.
MobileDraco: Your child is busy harassing lumps in the arcade.
Gooper Blooper: Silvania told him to!!
Harpy: he just checked their pulses to make sure they were alive before trying his hand at a sega crane game
Harpy rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 21
Gooper Blooper: OH SHIT
Harpy: how the fuck did you get TWO TOYS YOU MOTHERFUCKER
---
Jumpropeman: I went to google what a fetish is in terms of archaeology and wanted to avoid the more common use of the word fetish
Jumpropeman: somehow I thought putting "fetish images" would be the way to avoid that
Harpy: uh
Harpy: as someone greatly familiar with the common use of fetish
Harpy: that was not a good idea
Gooper Blooper: XD
Jumpropeman: fetishes are objects with supposed supernatural powers
Jumpropeman: powers to make you horny-
Harpy: that's someone's fetish, alright.
Harpy: lemme stop before i get banned for horny jokes
Hooded Pitohui: Same vibe as the one time someone started talking to me about if there was any possible way to make a decent economic system in unmodified Minecraft, and, becoming curious about something, I looked up, without thinking it through "Minecraft inflation"
Gooper Blooper: oh nooooo
Harpy: how would you even do that-
Harpy: *remembers looking through DA today*
Harpy: nevermind i know exactly how it happens
Draco holds up a Maya fetish.
Harpy: i'm about to kinkshame you
Draco: D:
Harpy: oh no i'm coming up with a miniplot in bar
Harpy: help
Harpy: anyway *holds up Dia fetish*
Harpy: BEHOLD-
Draco holds up a The Accidental Hero fetish.
---
RubyChao: i punched a guy so hard he clipped into a wall and shot 10 feet into the air
RubyChao: that was impressive
Jumpropeman: y-yeah, very cool... *backs away slowly from chao*
Draco: Only 10 feet? :V I punched a guy in Fallout 76 and I found him across the map after I launched MYSELF into the air.
Jumpropeman: chao never said it was in a video game...
---
Gooper Blooper: So I had a fish on my belt, which was the style at the time
---
Jumpropeman: the next event will be more fighty for sure, talking can change some things about the fight but there will be danger higher than the first day but still not like, explosions or anything. Weapons and magic and junk
Harpy: is it safe to throw glitz at it
Jumpropeman: what can glitz do besides a sick handstand
Harpy: talk their ears off about random things
Harpy: summon a bear
Harpy: maybe a labradoodle if she tries hard enough
Jumpropeman: summoning a bear probably makes her eligible for many kobber missions
Harpy: probably not the kaiju fights
Jumpropeman: what if it's ursa REALLY major
Harpy: well shit we're gonna see bear vs shin godzilla mkIII
Jumpropeman: but yeah, the character should expect to do more than talk, but they won't need to grab toad's bazooka or anything
Harpy: yet.
Harpy: ;)
Gooper Blooper: Every time there's a brume event just imagine Pink breathlessly bursting in and going "CAN I BRING THE LOBSTER?"
Gooper Blooper: someday, Pink!
Modus Sheep: "but still not like, explosions or anything"
Jumpropeman: what will Marlow jump away from now?
Harpy: his sins
Modus Sheep: commitment...
---
Gooper Blooper: eyyy, got my amazon refund for their fuckup
Gooper Blooper: (I ordered a set of four Jurassic World dog toys. I received a "wallet clasp".)
Jumpropeman: a wallet clasp?! lucky!
---
RubyChao: i like how i can only parse this as that one dk cartoon meme
RubyChao: you may pacify
RubyChao: Once
Jumpropeman: Arnaldo there just looks like Agent 47's college bro version
---
Gooper Blooper: dumb post
Modus Sheep: "And if you require financial aid, accounting, or a big clumsy lobster robot built for three, Hoshii Holdings is happy to help."
Jumpropeman: the big clumsy lobster is the key to breaking this wide open...
Gooper Blooper: It's a killer tagline, I know
Modus Sheep: And then Stella extended her fist and flew through the roof
Gooper Blooper: Stella, no, you needed to keep that under wraps until the final two of the TTT when you cheat and win with it!
RubyChao: but stella loses
RubyChao: because she was disqualified
Draco: Those are three things all college students need.
---
RubyChao: might do some barposting late night
RubyChao: with the power trio of late night
RubyChao: (me/draco/jrm)
Jumpropeman: are those your pronouns?
Harpy: ppfpflgj
Draco: lol
---
RubyChao: https://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/4714467
Gooper Blooper: unyu
Jumpropeman pokes the sun
Jumpropeman: do you think Utsuho ever goes to the sun to see if she can find any of Dawn's old nemeses
Harpy: woah that's some stage 9 animu
RubyChao: meanwhile, on heart star
Gooper Blooper: Utsuho occasionally flies over to the sun, gets right up to the surface, opens her mouth, and does this
RubyChao: delicious sun...
Harpy: oh no
Harpy: she's :V
---
Jumpropeman: In Blaseball, an entire team was trapped within peanut shells and unable to play so a new player, Pitching Machine, was added to the team to make them technically able to play. In the next game, a Bloodrain compels Pitching Machine to drink the blood of opposing players to become better at pitching... I think I need to check out Blaseball now
Jumpropeman: every player has a minimum of ten fingers in blaseball
Harpy: uh?
RubyChao: WOW
RubyChao: discriminatory
Jumpropeman: there does not appear to be a maximum
Jumpropeman: "Fingers are believed to be a mutagenic property that affects playing capability. Players enter the league with 10 total fingers and gain (but never lose) them in whole number amounts"
Harpy: uh
Gooper Blooper: Pitching Machine Vampire Robot for ZFRP
Jumpropeman: "Axel is a self-proclaimed "regular old guy". He likes cars, beer, and hanging with his pals. He has very generic features, some even claim he resembles an amalgamation of every single blaseball player overlain, despite simultaneously being a car. Axel is also known for his prehensile tail and his striking red hair"
Jumpropeman: Axel is just Motormer's brother
---
brolivel: downloaded some new Konosuba app. I know nothing about Konosuba, but not I can do EXPLOOOOOOOOOSHUN
Jumpropeman: i saw a konosuba mobile game ad today
Jumpropeman: it looked pretty swish
Jumpropeman: artistically at least
brolivel: I have two 4*s out of... 4 that I've pulled? It really likes giving me this one gal
brolivel: the other is Darkness who can't hit the side of a barn apparently, sadly not Megumin yet
brolivel: I assume it's an actual thing in the show, she can't hit anything but makes a good tank, but game wise it's more annoying
Gooper Blooper: Megumin in an actual video game is probably, like, 999 magic attack, 10 physical attack, 5 defense, 8 HP
Gooper Blooper: A shedinja with no wonder guard but it did three Nasty Plots
brolivel: in the tutorial she did collapse from using her EXPLOOOOOOSION
brolivel: but at least that can hit something :U
---
Gooper Blooper: link
Draco: Retro Jill
RubyChao: i watched that Free Guy movie today and it was surprisingly strong on the "just because something is fake doesn't make it unimportant" vibes
RubyChao: which is a good vibe
Jumpropeman: show that movie to Kepler
Gooper Blooper: thanks to offscreen inertia, since we haven't heard from Chunor and Kepler since their pairing confirmation, I like to imagine they've just been making out for the past month
Jumpropeman: who needs to be a kraken when you could be lip smacking
Draco: Just nonstop ever since.
---
Jumpropeman: for future goops
Draco: No Past Goops allowed!
---
Jumpropeman: I love the very direct title
Draco: They get right to the point! No nonsense in THIS book.
Draco: Garrute and his Ribbiting Raiders:
Jumpropeman: oh no, you found the finale D:
Draco: He calls his grenades "Kermit the Frags"
---
Jumpropeman: heading off for the night
Jumpropeman: see you tomorrow when we HUG BERGMAN
Jumpropeman: sorry I typoed I meant KISS BERGMAN
Jumpropeman: sorry I typoed I meant INVITE BERGMAN TO TEA
Draco: I know you meant PAY BERGMAN'S TAXES
Draco: Exotic butters
Jumpropeman: that way she'll be the only person in RP who isn't committing tax fraud
---
Dobile Mel: So
Draco: Yes?
Dobile Mel: We're watching the movie field of dreams
Dobile Mel: I have a couple of questions
Dobile Mel: First of all, what the fuck?
Draco: Yes.
Dobile Mel: Second of all, what the fuck
Draco: Yes.
Dobile Mel: What IS this movie
Dobile Mel: OH MY GOD THE TOP GEAR THEME IS PLAYING???
Draco: Sports! :V
iKomodo: James Earl Jones is here
iKomodo: i keep closing my eyes and seeing Mufasa
Dobile Mel: James Earl Jones is here
Modus Sheep: At this time of year?!
iKomodo: Yes
Modus Sheep: Localized entirely within your household?!!
iKomodo: ...Yes!
Modus Sheep: May I see it?
Draco: ......
Draco: No.
iKomodo: Kek
Dobile Mel: Entirely within my kitchen
Dobile Mel: Well I didn't like that movie!
Dobile Mel: James Earl Jones makes a speech about people coming to see a bunch of disgraced racist baseball players to, uh, heal themselves?
Dobile Mel: I dunno, folks!
Modus Sheep: Hm
Modus Sheep: Maybe the moral is...the racist baseball players were inside our se-WAIT, NO, NO, ABORT!
---
Modus Sheep: "Kamen Rider Thouser"
Modus Sheep: Read this as Kamen Rider Trouser for a second
Draco: We could only be so lucky.
---
Jumpropeman: link
Draco: Don't shame her for not being on plot today. D:<
Jumpropeman: this is a Sapphire chatroom now
Gooper Blooper: No objections
Gooper Blooper muffled Bird Is The Word in the background
Jumpropeman: link link link link link
Gooper Blooper: JRM right now:
Jumpropeman: putting her in a business suit was an unfair move by the show creators
Gooper Blooper: that's also what got her in RP
Gooper Blooper: Draco loves him some business ladies
Draco: It's true. She's too perfect.
Draco: The picture with long hair though is too much. *o*
Gooper Blooper: and season 2 of the show revealed she has a shirt with the word "EAT" emblazoned on it so, you know, primo kobber material
---
RubyChao: https://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/4706159
Gooper Blooper: she deserved it.
RubyChao: chimata is good and i keep being torn between wanting to push her into more things and feeling like since i did that constantly for three months i need to calm down :V
Gooper Blooper: Unless you do something like a Chimata Plot or Chimata Arc that will let her leave Agama, she's got a hard time limit on how long she can participate in RP before we leave the setting, so going hard on her is reasonable
RubyChao: very true!
RubyChao: MORE CHIMATA NEXT WEEK THEN
Gooper Blooper: yakuza plot gets tied to chimata
Gooper Blooper: la-mulana gets tied to chimata
Gooper Blooper: she enters BBB12, wins, and panics when she's told she has to come back for the next one
RubyChao: goops: chimata turns out to have been the one who made the deal with gust that got him out of there
RubyChao: biggest regret of her life.
Harplurk: Chimata is rp now
Jumpropeman: don't call Chimata at 3 AM! BIGGEST REGRET OF MY LIFE
Gooper Blooper: Chimata buys the ability to hire a substitute so she can world travel
---
---
RubyChao: posted
RubyChao: in which kotohime is kotohime
Jumpropeman: can we confirm this? do we have a kotohime expert on call?
RubyChao: yes
RubyChao: *gestures to Goops*
Gooper Blooper:
Jumpropeman: he's even got the book!
---
Cornwind Evil: How many times has DeMonde had to drag off Scars from trying to break Julia out of prison
Cornwind Evil rolled a die with 10 sides. The die showed: 7
Cornwind Evil: Seven times
Draco: Pudge had to do it the other three times. Grandma takes away your hand grenades if you try to break people out of jail!
---
Jumpropeman: "NudieDoodles: Warning, contains NSFW"
Jumpropeman: I never woulda guessed
Harpy: oh no
---
Modus Sheep: "Giraffe and Annika, despite the title, does not feature a single giraffe"
Modus Sheep: Deeply upsetting.
---
RubyChao: which jrmchar will be suffering from bonkus of the konkus
Jumpropeman: Garrute
Jumpropeman: that's actually why this is all happening, a coconut hit him on the head and he's had Fred Flintstone style amnesia
Jumpropeman: nobody got mad when Fred Flintstone became a jewel thief
Jumpropeman: it was just bonkus of the konkus
Gooper Blooper: https://youtube.com/watch?v=pwJmVpp8fng
---
Draco: "#1: Constant Amenities Van Deutsche Bank Alberto Burger" <- You mean Conclave Alberta Vas Newbrunswick Alberta Boston?
Gooper Blooper: Consonant American Yon Donut Tank Allbright Buffalo
---
Dobile Mel: If Benitagang became a sentai
RubyChao: so the alleged "trans agenda' is really just superheroing, got it
Dobile Mel: Lol
Dobile Mel: Welcome to the jungle
---
Jumpropeman: it's your precious boy!
Jumpropeman: the charming unofficial mascot of the zx spectrum!
Gooper Blooper: Chuck D Head, is that you?
---
RubyChao: "The original comic implies that Garfield is fully capable of summoning down divine lightning on anyone he pleases. Imagine how many episodes of Garfield and Friends would be over in seconds if he made liberal use of this ability..."
Harpy: ...hol up.
Harpy: wut
Gooper Blooper jots down for Garfield Plot
Harpy: goops no
Jumpropeman: Godfield
---
Jumpropeman: that reminds me
Jumpropeman: someone solved the mystery of Cory in the House 100%
Harpy: WOAH SHIT
Harpy: *comes over casually with a folding chair, opens it up, takes a seat*
Jumpropeman: someone was commenting on a 100% longplay of the game that wasn't truly 100% because the guy encountered the same problem as me, but a speedruner commented with:
"not that you want to, but the last bobble head is found after completing the box puzzle again at around 1:08:10, you have to come back to it after the spy fly mini game then it should work.
I have far too many hours in this game for speedrun purposes... good on you for going for 100%, this game sucks."
Gooper Blooper: :O
Jumpropeman: so basically, you have to perform the right action before the game will register you picking up that last bobblehead that I could find but it would never register
Jumpropeman: I would just always go for it as soon as I could find it and the game was like "hah nope"
Jumpropeman: my brother actually told me about this development
Harpy: okay so we found this out
Harpy: because of a speedrunner
Harpy: god bless those motherfuckers
---
Draco: From a Chatzy Madness four years ago: Jumpropeman: listening to a podcast: "I'm gonna make a bold prediction right now: Metroid Prime 4 will be out before both the FF7 remake and Kingdom Hearts 3" everyone responds with "Definitely"
Jumpropeman: Square Enix had enough of the jokes
Draco: lol
---
Gooper Blooper: GB bringing you only the most terrifying and deadly serious SCPs, sure to make your blood run cold and spook your guts out of your pockets like so much spaghetti:
SteelKomodo: 2spoopy
Gooper Blooper: link
Jumpropeman: oh no a spooky zombie. please stay away.
Gooper Blooper: posting so much horror tonight
Gooper Blooper: leaving you all terrified beyond reason
---
Dobile Mel: Current awful intrusive thought - the shick hydro razor robot as a vtuber
Jumpropeman: a very cursed concept
Jumpropeman: simp for a razor
Harpy: what the heck
Harpy: that is a very intrusive thought
Harpy: ...another intrusive thought: "someone's gonna get off to that robot."
Dobile Mel: Okay new thought
Dobile Mel: To the tune of black betty by ramjam: Woah black Betty, Cramorant
Harpy: OH YES
Dobile Mel: (Cramorant is a very good Pokémon)
Harpy: i'm heavin
Harpy: much better
Dobile Mel: Hahaha
iKomodo: Thanks, I hate it
iKomodo: Current intrusive zfrp thought: Sine helps Gorillaz finally make that damn movie
Cornwind Evil: Sine: No, I will not give you a 300 million dollar budget.,
iKomodo: Murdoc: But then how are we gonna film the car chase scene aboard the alien spaceship?!
Gooper Blooper: gonna need a lot of cardboard
Cornwind Evil: Sine: Why is that scene necessary?
iKomodo: I honestly have no answer to that :P
Cornwind Evil: My joke is that the film would probably cost like 50 million and Murdoc would want the rest to do Murdoc things
iKomodo: Okay i do have an answer now
iKomodo: Murdoc: I wanna film the first ever zero gravity car chase! It’s gonna be mind-blowin’!
iKomodo: Probably :P
Cornwind Evil: Sine:....how are the cars going to function in zero gravity?
iKomodo: Murdoc: ...'ang on, i think i need to do some re-writes...
Cornwind Evil: Due to 'troubled production' and 'box office bombs', my eye twitches reflexively at the words 'script rewrites'
---
RubyChao: jrm
RubyChao: thanks to you, i have occasionally caught myself referring to KOing people in hitman as "giving them bonkus of the konkus"
RubyChao: that is all
Harpy: that
Harpy: is hilarious
Gooper Blooper: Bonkus of the Konkus has been catching on in ways previous JRM sigs have not
Harpy: get bonkus'd, son
---
Jumpropeman: "Gloria's eyes widen as the imposter Garrute reveals how sus he is"
Jumpropeman: plot canceled
Gooper Blooper: had to
Harpy: oh no
Harpy: impastas...
---
Hooded Pitohui: Okay, I'm laughing too hard not to share this here, too. My mother browses jobs on her phone sometimes, just whatever pops up. She lets it throw stuff at her, doesn't really search it out herself. It's fairly typical, but, boy, was I not prepared for her to, completely innocently, ask me "what's omegaverse?" while doing so
link
link
link
Harpy: wh
Harpy: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm *grabs the red flags*
Harpy: 400 bucks a week ain't worth it, bump that shit up to at least 1,000 a week
Jumpropeman: oh no, Omegaverse D:
Harpy: i say this as i get like 800 bucks biweekly
Cornwind Evil: I don't know either
Cornwind Evil: I don't know if I want to
Gooper Blooper: spicy and high-heat scenes.
---
Jumpropeman: reminder that Sonic canonically endured months of torture
Jumpropeman: and when you next see him he's still quipping about chili dogs
Cornwind Evil: It turns out the torture was being denied chili dogs
---
Harpy: what are these gnomes doing here? are they really spoopy
Gooper Blooper: They're in fall colors, I guess that got them lumped in
Jumpropeman: sounds like the words of someone who hasn't been gnomed
Harpy: i might look at michaels for ~fancier halloween items- god damn it jrm i almost choked on a stroopwafel
Gooper Blooper: "Add a little whimsical fun to your kitchen d�cor this Halloween!"
Gooper Blooper: halloween d�corrations
Harpy: i was somehow not expecthing the gnome meme to reach these hallowed halls
Harpy: but here we are.
Gooper Blooper: "They come assorted among the 3 designs shown. Assortment may vary." You open the case and it's 24 gnome towels
Harpy: it's like a whole pokemon pack of weedles
Gooper Blooper: XD
---
---
RubyChao: link
Jumpropeman: imagine an assassin just killed your boss and when you go to stop him you see him escaping like that
Draco: He stole Scooty Puff Junior! D:
---
MobileDraco: I think this is one of the biggest gatherings of Symphogear characters in one place since Dark Matter Maria.
Jumpropeman: time to add my symphogear character
Jumpropeman: this lady
Gooper Blooper: it's a big pile of Symphogear and Pokemon characters with a couple others tossed in
Gooper Blooper: I'd dared to hope it would be that video, JRM
Gooper Blooper: thank you
MobileDraco: JRM, that's Symphogear Bergman, I think.
MobileDraco: With fewer clothes though.
Gooper Blooper: "So, you absolutely have a mind to use me. If that's the case, let's see your action that matches this deal."
Jumpropeman: I was reading through what they're actually saying too and it's not much more coherent :V
Gooper Blooper: What I especially like is that the first line isn't actually that bad! And then that fuckin lady opens her mouth and it all goes to hell.
Jumpropeman: she sounds like those AI that take multiple samples of someone's voice and constructs sentences from it
MobileDraco: Chao will give us eight reasons why it's okay.
Gooper Blooper: Chao openly admits that 40% of Symphogear is either junk or is impossible to separate from the junk due to plot connections
Gooper Blooper: he is brutally honest because of his love
Hooded Pitohui: I enjoyed the show and I can absolutely tell you it's not okay.
Hooded Pitohui: (That scene and its dialogue, I mean)
Jumpropeman: true fans are the ones who can say "yeah, that part? it's crap"
---
Jumpropeman: I'm playing Cotton: Fantastic Night Dreams and the heroine in it, Cotton, is a cute tiny witch who is only motivated to save the world when a fairy promises her sweets. So, future Coven member basically
Harpy: that could literally be a goopschar.
Jumpropeman: she does have momopie vibes :V
Gooper Blooper: Very nice 90s anime style there
Jumpropeman: from a fan translation of one of its sequels:
Gooper Blooper: Perfection.
Harpy: kek
---
Cornwind Evil: https://youtube.com/watch?v=DKwaPSkjXp0
Jumpropeman: I mistake Black Lagoon for Bible Black a lot which is a bad mistake to make
brolivel: welp
Modus Sheep sound of glass shattering in the next room
Cornwind Evil: The heck is Bible Black...-googles-
Cornwind Evil: .....oh.
Modus Sheep: No, you fool!
---
Hooded Pitohui: "Though many items were mass-produced with no perceived value when collected by the museum, they have since acquired significance as they are attached to visitors' personal memories and a view to how people used to live."
Hooded Pitohui: Myoomcore
Jumpropeman: just hang in there long enough and the mundane becomes historical
---
Draco: Wow! So many powers Suwako has that I'm missing out on! XD
Jumpropeman: suwako has been powers wiki'd D:
Modus Sheep: "Can emanates a frog-like aura"
Modus Sheep thinks about this one
Jumpropeman: "Intelligence: Genius"
Jumpropeman: that's how you know it ain't true
Gooper Blooper: "Attack Potency: Planet Level (Able to create Earth)
Speed:
Massively FTL+ in terms of combat and reaction speed (Comparable to
Suika, whose attack shattered all of Heavens which is at least
3.7107x10^152 times the size of observable universe in a night)
Lifting Strength: Unknown
Striking Strength: Planetary
Durability: Planet Level"
RubyChao: the face of GENIUS
Harpylurk: Uh oh
Cornwind Evil: That Suwako is basically what happens when you apply reality to cartoon physics
Jumpropeman: some of it was like "this is a healing item tied to the moriya shrine, that means Suwako can cure death"
---
Modus Sheep: "Any other neat discoveries?"
Modus Sheep: No.
Modus Sheep: "Only one thing unites the murals she uncovers. Each contains a depiction of a crowd of figures, apparently suffering and cowering in fear."
Modus Sheep: You know
Modus Sheep: I'm beginning to think Agama did not have a peaceful past, you guys
Modus Sheep: "as she approaches, she actually does look into Kanade’s eyes"
Modus Sheep: And then they kiss?
Modus Sheep: "Or are you going to make me find another woman with the eyes of a dragon?"
Modus Sheep: I WAS JOKING
Modus Sheep: ACTUALLY GET A ROOM
---
Jumpropeman: "Kanye West Samples Globglogabgalab During 'Donda' Listening Party"
Jumpropeman: when the jokes about mixing him into music become real
Modus Sheep: Why
Jumpropeman: because he's got sick bars
Gooper Blooper: it's a banger, sheep
Harpylurk: No
Modus Sheep: Distressing
---
brolivel: link
Harpy: i
Harpy: beautiful
brolivel: yes, you beautiful
MobileDraco: Nice!
Jumpropeman: elmo kong is glorious
---
Hooded Pitohui: I'm done with my post, by the way. Shouldn't be more than four or so minutes.
Hooded Pitohui: *almost done
Jumpropeman: pitohui is done with his post but he just wants us to get excited for it! Pump up the hype for the next four minutes!
Jumpropeman: give us that clay dork!
Bree: *starts a "myooms! myooms! myooms!" chant*
---
Draco: Ani x Marlow OTP
Modus Sheep: >:I
Jumpropeman: c'mon draco, everyone knows Maya x Marlow is OTP
Draco: No way! There's no chemistry between Marmar and Maya.
Modus Sheep: >:I
Draco: Sheep: Anilow or Marani for the ship name? ;D
Modus Sheep: >:IIII
---
Harpy: pizza pasta.
Jumpropeman: what about
Jumpropeman: pasta pizza
Harpy: his more competent twin
Jumpropeman: pasta pizza cheats like it's going out of style
Harpy: are you just calling him aran ryan?
Draco: Pizza Pizza
Jumpropeman: that's just Little Caesars
Jumpropeman: Pasta Pasta is Big Caesars
---
Harpy: angellica's first action is to kill gai
Draco: Yoshiko rewards Angellica's murders with pizza.
Harpy: positive reinforcement!
Draco: Exactly. Yoshiko has this mom stuff down.
Harpy: brine be like "so when can jenny beat her ass"
Jumpropeman: we'll get yoshiko yet!
Draco: D:
Jumpropeman: "Would you trade away your prized horse for a donkey?"
Jumpropeman: how cool is this donkey
Jumpropeman: is he the Shrek donkey
Draco: No, even better than that.
Jumpropeman: the Winnie the Pooh donkey? *o*
Jumpropeman: THE CHRISTMAS BURRO?!
Harpy: its a donkey that shits gold
brolivel: "There's a Winnie the Pooh donkey? ...oh wait"
brolivel: my thought process
Jumpropeman: everyone forget eeyore............
Harpy: oh no
---
Draco: link
Jumpropeman: I almost joked "is this fortnite" when I saw the characters, and it was
---
Jumpropeman notices a news section in the ConsoleClassix launcher
Jumpropeman: "2013: we've updated our site!"
Jumpropeman: that's the only news there :V
---
Jumpropeman: there's Gooper! I have found a great treasure for you, sir
Jumpropeman: someone made discord emojis for Mega Drive
Gooper Blooper: SO MANY MEREDITHS
Jumpropeman: the middle row is powerful
Jumpropeman: so many could be an avatar
---
Gooper Blooper: Harplot thought, non-cursed edition: Yoshiko adopting Angellica is actually really spot-on considering Tsubasa adopted Shirabe last week
Gooper Blooper: Harplot thought, cursed edition: I told Goopsmom about today's event earlier and realized mid-conversation that the plot is basically just Elf Practice
Harpy: wh
Harpy: no...
Cornwind Evil: From the Rudolph special?
Harpy: change the event name to "The Elf's Practice"...
Harpy: if we have to know this, then everyone else needs to, too.
Gooper Blooper: yes, CW
Gooper Blooper: "WHYYYYY WEREN'T YOU AT PIANO PRACTICE" "just dusting off these artifacts" "WWHHHHHHHAT?!?!"
Harpy: i heaved
RubyChao: wow
RubyChao: yoshiko and tsubasa are really speedrunning this family
Harpy: family%
Harpy: alternatively: isn't diesel the one who's really speedrunning family?
Harpy: :V
---
---
Harpy: if your thouser is up for longer than six hours consult a doctor, it may be a sign of a serious condition
---
Cornwind Evil: Reminder: I myself am 40
Draco: Oi vey...yeah, I've got my walking stick lined up and I plan to live in a tent in my office because of hills. :V
---
Modus Sheep: "I don't get out much, either, but it's not like I had a choice until now. Cow in a cage."
Modus Sheep: A Heifer in a Hoosgow
Modus Sheep: "Druids are nice, though."
Modus Sheep: Yeah, until they crash vampiric trees into your house.
Modus Sheep: "It seems like every day something new is being discovered about Agama."
Modus Sheep: Largely mural based, but yes
Modus Sheep: "Well, both our bad parents managed to make you and I, so I suppose they did at least one thing right..."
Modus Sheep: Think again!
Modus Sheep: "I was a Goat on a Range."
Cornwind Evil: "Oooooh, whatcha saaaaaay.... oh, that you only meant well..." Julia returns and shoots Gai after all.
Modus Sheep: Between all these Goats and Cows, it's time to bring back Alameda Slim!
The Deleter: The return nobody expected
The Deleter: Or needed
Modus Sheep: Yodlelodlelodleeeee
Modus Sheep: "One day I was wearing robes and talking to trees, and the next I was in a suit, trying to explain my way through a powerpoint I'd put together three hours before."
Modus Sheep: Ah
Modus Sheep: College.
Modus Sheep: "everyone from this Bar is very nice, in their own way"
Modus Sheep: This sounds like a job for a Sheepchar!
Draco: Yes, send Junko to prove that everyone is nice. :D
Modus Sheep: :I
---
RubyChao: in the japanese map in hitman, you can start the mission dressed as a ninja
RubyChao: there is no benefit to this, and in fact it makes the entire map hostile to you
RubyChao: from this, we can conclude the only reason this is possible
RubyChao: is that 47 really wanted to be a ninja.
Harpy: he's a
Harpy: fighting dreamah
Draco: Does he Naruto run?
(Chao does not answer for a while)
Harpy: chao's silence is everything we need to know, draco
Harpy: book him
RubyChao: i do not believe 47 naruto runs
RubyChao: he does not believe it.
Harpy: and neither do you, it seems
Draco: lol
---
Modus Sheep: "the game developed a level of infamy that lead to an overblown reputation for being something sinister"
Modus Sheep: The face of evil:
Gooper Blooper: does that look like the face of mercy?
Modus Sheep: "Cookies, soup, cake, gyros, lasagna, pizza, burritos, hamburgers, and cinnamon rolls"-Jumprope "DK Rap" Man
Modus Sheep: "Grilled Cheese with a rainbow coloration"
Modus Sheep: Deeply concerning
Modus Sheep: On a spiritual level
Modus Sheep: Not today
Modus Sheep: SATAN
Modus Sheep: "sometimes you get to do something unique or rare like smashing a bag of spicy chips with a tenderizer"
Modus Sheep: This is a strange game.
Modus Sheep: "This is an unfortunate reality of real cooking"-Jump "Nietzsche" Man
Modus Sheep: "that was done to make them accessible and sort of visceral"
Modus Sheep: I do not want my Cooking Mama experience to be visceral
Modus Sheep: "watching Mama break dance or do the chicken dance to celebrate a high score is cute but not worth the strife."-Jump "Punished" Man, 20121. Colorized.
Modus Sheep: "Each person, be they a regular human, clown, gerbil, or Mama herself"
Modus Sheep: This is a strange game.
Modus Sheep: "piling on additional french fries until the game struggles to handle the physics or you can make an impossible diagonal tower of stacked toppings to give your food a strange unicorn horn of garnishes"
Modus Sheep: "strange unicorn horn of garnishes" may be my favorite phrase of the year
Modus Sheep: "Hearing Mama’s heavy Japanese accent dish out phrases like “Flex for the ‘gram” and “Pics or it didn’t happen” gives the process a sort of ironic enjoyment as well"
Modus Sheep: This is a strange game.
Modus Sheep: "and she is intensely annoying on the menu screens"
Modus Sheep: Angeropeman outta left field!
Draco: JumpropemanIAC
Modus Sheep: "multiplayer component exists where two players can struggle simultaneously with the motion controls in bland competitions"
Gooper Blooper: That quote is exactly the kind of passive-aggressive comedic teardown I tried to describe in words a couple months back
Gooper Blooper: JRM is very good at those
Jumpropeman: i can't help but laugh when I see Anton Ego juxtaposed with me
Modus Sheep: :V
---
Draco: I've even got a Lance to antagonize me in Final Fantasy Wonderworld!
Jumpropeman: i can't believe FF14 not only is stealing WOW players, but it's stealing Balan players too!
Draco: The Balan fandom will not stand for this! Right, Harpy?
Jumpropeman: they were dreaming of Pretty Patties!
Harpy: you count me as part of the balan fandom?
Jumpropeman: i mean, you were gonna buy the novel
Harpy: i was
Harpy: then i didn't
Draco: You're the Balan Expert.
Harpy: man don't I feel special
Harpy: *expands the Cheng'de Cinematic Universe*
Jumpropeman: "I am a fan of the game, so finding out more about the characters and its lore was really cool. However, this book had problems. Overall, it was a really repetitive story that would use the same idea over and over again. One of the book’s main formulas was:
- Leo and Balan walk into a stage
- Balan says something that gets on Leo’s nerves
- Leo remarks on how different the stage is
- Leo finds friend who is now a monster
- Leo punches heart shards in their face
- The stage owner laments about what they’re suffering from
- Leo asks if they wanna help fight Lance, which they refuse
- Balan tells Leo, “your friend isn’t ready, let’s move on”
- Next stage"
Jumpropeman: apparently the book literally tries to adapt video game levels
Harpy: mmmmm.
Harpy: it sucks because it had one helluva banger intro
Harpy: like the first line in the book is very attention grabbing
Jumpropeman: that's called a hook!
Harpy: yes
Harpy: wait i thought you said "that's called a book" and i'm like "i... i know?!?"
brolivel: I was about to type that out
brolivel: why you gotta ruin my joke
Harpy: terrible misreading i apologize
Jumpropeman: more like amazing
Harpy: a good hook but a bland book is not a good look
Jumpropeman: my point was that a lot of books start with a strong hook regardless of later content, but if I had said "that's called a book" that would have been a SICK DISS to literature in general
Harpy: yeah i know what you mean now!
Jumpropeman: start your book with something unappealing, authors. Break the mold!
Harpy: i will start my novelization of cheng'de lore with a picture of a horse butt
Hooded Pitohui: Hooks are decidedly difficult. I tried the past few years to use more in media res to make stronger hooks. Haven't used it as much this year - or not consciously so - though, I think I dialed it back because I worried about it becoming a crutch for actual hooks.
Harpy: yeah
Harpy: actually
Harpy: the xiulan blogpost had a powerful hook
Jumpropeman: I still joke about how I had a teacher who said onomatopoeia is a strong hook
Harpy: its in media res but there's nothing more attention grabbing than some captain boldly defying her captors by jumping off her own ship.
Harpy: your teacher is right
Harpy: at least by my standards
Jumpropeman: maybe if it's like a SKKKKKROOOONCH instead of the alarm clocks we all added to start our essays
Harpy: behold the SKRONCH
Hooded Pitohui: Alarm clocks? Was it everyone starting stories with, like, "BING, BING, BING," waking up to that sound?
Harpy: why would they use bing when they have google?
Jumpropeman: pretty much! Or however they decided to transcribe that
Harpy: bRRSKLGJLKGJ *cronch*
Harpy: smashes alarm clock through the table
Harpy: boom, the incredibles.
Hooded Pitohui: I suppose that'd be a sensible way to start a story for folks trying to start with an onomatopoeia. I'm surprised more people went for that than a "whoosh" or a "wham," though.
Harpy: the most recent one i thought of was THUMP, THUMP, THUMP
Jumpropeman: we were, admittedly, young
Harpy: damn the aurora and boreas writing was on another level.
---
Jumpropeman: we can't ruin ALL of Symphogear
Hooded Pitohui: Is that a CHALLENGE?
Harpy: i can ruin some of it.
---
Gooper Blooper: approximate summary of goopsmom's day today:
Harpy: :O
Draco: Nice! She watched a game show! :D
Harpy: subaru acquired
Gooper Blooper: ...wait, is a subaru the car in the video
Harpy: i was bullshitting actually
Gooper Blooper: well it was good bullshit, she bought a subaru
Harpy: what the fuck
Harpy: I WAS JOKING
Harpy: either way that's the good shit
Harpy: i can't believe goopsmom plays the konosuba mobile gacha and got subaru on the first roll
---
Harpy: "ripples with muscles." i read this as nipples with muscles and I was very highly concerned, for a brief moment, about fudo's abdominal anatomy.
Gooper Blooper: YA GOTTA HAVE MUSCLES ON YOUR EYEBALLS
Harpy: *internal screaming*
---
Jumpropeman: what a grotesque preorder bonus
Modus Sheep: What am I looking at?
Jumpropeman: preorder bonus of infected smurf costumes from an upcoming Smurf 3d Platformer
Modus Sheep: Why?
Modus Sheep: Is there a market for infected Smurfs?
Jumpropeman: " Company: OSome Studio / Microids" made by the same guys as all those Asterix games I played
Jumpropeman: "Embody 4 iconic Smurfs: the Smurfette, Hefty Smurf, Brainy Smurf and Chef Smurf in 5 different worlds"
Jumpropeman: E M B O D Y S M U R F E T T E
---
Jumpropeman: "Metagalactic Llamas"
Jumpropeman: "The Astonishing Adventures of Mr. Weems and the She Vampires"
Jumpropeman: "Ninja Hamster"
Jumpropeman: "Potty Pigeon" ?????
Jumpropeman: the C64 library is wild
Gooper Blooper: JRM's gonna have the time of his life
Gooper Blooper: Lord Snodger final boss 2021
Jumpropeman: "Complicating matters is that Benton has a limited number of snodges and bodges. A snodge is lost every time Benton bumps into a Snodger or a snodgit. A bodge is lost every time Benton bumps into a wall or a piece of furniture."
Jumpropeman: "You are the evil Dr. Vargon and it is your mission to destroy the Human Race so they will stop destroying innocent aliens." sounds legit
Jumpropeman: I like the evil part of the job title
Jumpropeman: makes me sure those aliens are innocent
Jumpropeman: he was hired by "Galaxions, Pheenixes, Space Invaders" to attack the humans
Jumpropeman: whose alliance is named People's Allied Center for Mankind and Neighbors
Jumpropeman: or P.A.C.M.A.N.
Gooper Blooper: I always knew the space invaders weren't so bad
(a couple days later)
Draco: I don't ragequit games very often, but FF14's Eyes of the Creator is an absolute piece of shit. :I
RubyChao: i don't do it often either but sometimes
RubyChao: you just gotta
RubyChao: there's a reason the steam backlogquest has the option to yeet games
Draco: I'll try playing again when my dinner gets here.
Jumpropeman: ragequit is not an option
Jumpropeman glares at recent ZX Spectrum games I've played with tired eyes
Gooper Blooper: they lured you in with funny titles and then dropped the hammer
---
Hooded Pitohui: srspost! You know the drill here. Fairly simple combat stuff from me. If you need clarification on anything, let me know!
Gooper Blooper: About how big is this thing, would you say?
Hooded Pitohui: In its current state, you'd stack about two and a half to three Lucinas on top of one another to match its height, if that gives you a good estimation.
Jumpropeman: is it the size of an average human mother
Hooded Pitohui: I'm laughing at that clip but, honestly, I'd probably flail around and say something like that when asked about scale, too.
Hooded Pitohui: I'm the epitome of that post where someone hears that someone is six feet tall and tries to imagine six footlong subs stack on one another.
Gooper Blooper: I've got this Kiryu (the Mechagodzilla, not the Yakuza) figure that's a foot tall
Gooper Blooper: And I immediately refer to this figure as a unit of measurement any time I'm checking something against a foot
iKomodo: Big boi
Gooper Blooper: I've even literally used it as a ruler before by holding it against stuff and going "okay it's a little under 1 foot"
Hooded Pitohui: Goops, based on that, I move we promote you to a member of the International Bureau of Weights and Measures immediately.
Gooper Blooper: How many Missys does the monster weigh
Jumpropeman: mechagodzilla will go right next to that little gram weight they have in the UK as a standard of measure
brolivel: technically you can use Inch High as a measurement!
Hooded Pitohui: Going to start avoiding scale questions in RP by stating the weight of everything in units of Missy and the height of everything in units of Lucina.
Jumpropeman: people in RP call him up at night and say "can you come over? I'm trying to buy a product online but I'm not sure how big six inches is"
Gooper Blooper: For five inches I default to a figure of Hedorah
brolivel: I could see some characters doing that
Gooper Blooper: The monster weighs two and a half Missys
---
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