They came from the dark corners of Agama. The criminal elements of this South American region did not seem like much compared to the toxic heights of Olympia in 2019, when The Curse had an iron grip on every aspect of the city's existence, but it has long been a sad truth that no matter where one goes, if enough people gather together, a few bad eggs inevitably try to take advantage of the rest. Agama was no different, and it was here that Mr. Hippo would plant his flag and rebuild The Curse into a group worth defending again.
The fact that he was holding official tryouts with papers tacked up on local stores' bulletin boards and a big 'VILLAINS WELCOME' sign outside the office building he'd rented for interviews meant that he was attracting only a certain type of evil, though.
Not that Mr. Hippo minded. These were his people.
---
Mr. Hippo shuffled the papers on his desk as a possible new hire left the room. "Alright, we'll take the next applicant now."
"I'm already here! Can't you see me?!"
Mr. Hippo paused, looking around the room. "I'm afraid I can't. Who's speaking?"
"Down here, you ingrate!"
"Oh. Well, you're rather small."
"Don't you start! You think I haven't heard that enough?! I'm here because I'm tired of being looked down upon!" squeaked the insect-sized insect indignantly. "The name's General Ultimax, and don't you forget it! I'm going to use The Curse's leverage to teach this town some respect!"
"I like your passion." Mr. Hippo admitted.
"I can and will prove my fearsomeness in combat! I need only the adequate weapons. Provide me with them and I shall pay back your investment a hundredfold! The streams of Agama shall run red with the blood of our foes! GLORY TO THE SMALL! DEATH TO THE TALL!"
"...You're perfect."
General Ultimax saluted Mr. Hippo. "I knew you'd see things my way. Let's get to work."
---
"Hrrrmmmm... I don't know about this. Sounds like trouble. Why would the Kobbers go after me, anyway? I'm just a farmer."
"Trust me, Hoggmeiser." Mr. Hippo assured the pig demon, "The Kobbers will see right through you. I've only been here a few months and it's already plain as day that your javelina farm is actually just a money-laundering operation."
Hoggmeister recoiled as if physically struck. "Wh- YOU!"
"Don't try to deny it, now." Mr. Hippo continued, his voice remaining level and grandfatherly even as Hoggmeiser grit his fangs and brandished his axe at the animatronic. "And don't think we don't know what you threaten to do when someone inconvenient is getting too close."
"G-grrrrrr..."
"Pigs don't eat metal." Mr. Hippo lightly thumped his own chest, loosing a hollow ringing noise. "If you know what's good for your business, you'll join us. I promise I can make it more than worth your while. Once the Kobbers are out of the way, the grift can keep on grifting."
"Hmmrrgh. You have me over a barrel, you cheap electronic toy." Hoggmeiser grunted before reluctantly nodding. "Fine. You've got yourself a deal. Keep the Kobbers out of my business and I'll help support your little gang financially."
"That's what I like to hear." Mr. Hippo clasped his hands together, his ears ratcheting up and down with satisfaction. "The deal is struck, then."
---
"Hah... so there were others after all. What are you doing setting up in the middle of nowhere like this?"
"It gives us a direct line to The Kobbers, of course."
"The Kobbers are coming here? And you KNEW? That's suicide, dude." The man shook his head at Mr. Hippo. "You should be clear on the other side of the world right now. Me, I was in Australia, laying low."
"...Tell me more about your time with The Curse."
"I was part of The Corps, back in the day. But I saw the writing on the wall. The Curse was too big, too smart, so I joined 'em. Turns out not caring about what others think is a hell of a lot more fun than sweating the rules. Kept my old Corps name. Recoil. It fit." Recoil twirled one of his pistols. "You want something shot, I'm your man."
"When did you leave?"
"When Frost left. She was the smartest bitch of the whole lot. When she vamoosed I knew which way the wind was blowing. Just like before, I could see when it was time to call it quits. But I couldn't do it like she did. No way. I can't go back to that life. Living like a sucker, following the law. Once I went lawless there was no going back."
"So are you in?"
"...You're an idiot, Hippo. A total moron. Those Kobbers are going to tear this little gang apart just like they did the last one."
Recoil fell silent, looking at the gun in his hands. He took a deep breath and placed the gun on the table, crossing his arms.
"...But I've got nothing else. God damn it, I'm in."
---
"I'm Tammy, and this is Geedis!" the small girl began with a smile.
"Geedis." said Geedis.
Mr. Hippo shook his head. "No."
"No?!" Tammy stamped a foot, pouting and puffing out her cheeks. "You haven't even heard our pitch yet!"
"Geedis."
"I'm not involving a child and her pet... her pet... whatever-it-is in our affairs. This is a job interview for villains only."
"We're villains! We're really, really villains! The worstest most dast-bastardly villains you've ever seen!!"
"Geedis."
"NEXT!"
---
"You must tell me something before we begin." the alien creature droned.
"Sure. What would you like to know?"
"What am I?"
Mr. Hippo opened his mouth to reply, then found himself unable to proceed as he fully registered the question.
"I awakened in a dark cave. Shapes I did not understand were all about the walls. The letters, some language." the monster gesticulated, struggling to find the words. "They stared at me."
"The letters... stared at you?"
"Stared at me. The eyes of ancients long dead, staring into my very being. I left that place as fast as I could. I do not know where I am. I do not know who I am. And I do not know why I can understand this language of yours. How can I even communicate with you at this moment when I am clearly not of this region? What was I doing before I fell asleep in that cave? Can you give me answers?"
"...I-"
"I require answers immediately." the creature insisted, pleadingly, clenching its' large hands onto Mr. Hippo's desk. "You are in charge of this Curse. I came here because I'd hoped for help."
"...I don't know anything about you, I'm afraid. But I can propose that you may find what you're looking for by joining us."
"But why? What are you going to do?"
"..."
Mr. Hippo clasped his hands together. Far from the picture of confidence he'd been with Hoggmeiser, this unexpected visitor was proving quite vexing. He could tell from this creature's size and many appendages that it could be a powerful, valuable ally... but it knew so little of the world. It didn't even know what The Curse was. This was... this was...
an opportunity.
"...Let me tell you the story of how the once-great organization I joined in the past was torn apart by the brutal anarchist savages known as The Kobbers. It is a story about me... and my good friend, Orville..."
Geedis
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