Sunday, January 14, 2018

Chatzy Madness Volume 300: The Best of Chatzy Madness III

Gooper Blooper: I played a puzzle game with some of the worst music ever
SteelKomodo: whut D:
Gooper Blooper: you are not ready for how little this music fits Zoroark
SteelKomodo: D:
RubyChao: oh god
Gooper Blooper: this one is just a normal puzzle gamebut then the cacti started multiplying and things spiraled rapidly out of control
SteelKomodo: ​D:

(Chao vanishes for about 15 minutes)

RubyChao: ok that's
RubyChao: probably enough cactus ring game for now
Gooper Blooper: hahaha
Gooper Blooper: hardcore cactus gaming action

---

Gooper Blooper: I found the absolute nadir of the already-poor mario cartoons
RubyChao: oh my
Gooper Blooper: it is called Club Mario, and it was literally just The Super Mario Brothers Super Show, except they took out all the live action parts and replaced them with two totally radical skateboard dudes
Gooper Blooper: http://youtube.com/watch?v=FhHlhovepKw
iKomodo: D:
Gooper Blooper: early_nineties.avi
RubyChao: GRAB YOUR BOARD
RubyChao: hahaha "Although the segments were intended to replace the Mario and Luigi vignettes, DiC destroyed all tapes used for filming Club Mario."
RubyChao: old shame
Seth Rollins Walks In Circles: So Club Mario is lost to the ages
iKomodo: Thank god for that
RubyChao: there's still some results on youtube
RubyChao: I SHALL POST IT HERE FOR EVERYONE TO SEE (no i won't)
RubyChao: oh my god this one is about earth day apparently
RubyChao: ariel watches, left shocked
Gooper Blooper: Have I mentioned ariel has the worst allies
Gooper Blooper: because Ariel has the ​worst​ allies
RubyChao: who else was on her list of allies?
Gooper Blooper: I forget but it definitely came up before with something dumb
RubyChao: oh yeah, this
Gooper Blooper: oh yeah, that's right, good work chao
RubyChao: why did i just picture ariel facing off against a bunch of CEOs
RubyChao: "Yeah, well I have allies too!"
RubyChao: pan over to the Campbell Kids and the Club Mario hosts
Gooper Blooper: and the wheelers
RubyChao: "...As I was saying, I can take all of you on by myself!"

 ---

 Bree: in other news I want to tell you guys the brief but dramatic story of Mexican Soda
Bree: are you ready
RubyChao: yes i am
Jumpropeman: tell us of Mexisoda
Bree: right, the Tale of Mexican Soda
Bree: so there's a Mexican brand of soda that I happen to like. it's sold in the "Latin foods" section of the local stores
Bree: I first tried it at Blue's because her mother has dated several Hispanics so naturally they tend to have a lot of Hispanic foods and beverages around the house
Bree: I usually buy two-liter bottles of the fruit punch flavor and it's ​fucking delicious​ and I usually drink it in about a day
Bree: it's just so damn good
Gooper Blooper: What's the soda's name?
Reading review pages: Is it one of the Jarritos, or another kind? -eyes own drink-
Bree: yes, Jarritos
Reading review pages: They're good.
Bree: hell yeah
Reading review pages finishes off his Mandarina
Bree: and it's a rare treat since it costs more than other sodas at the store so I basically inhale it
Gooper Blooper: inhale my soda enragement american
6 HOURS TIL KEVVY: dios mio
Bree: I get fruit punch flavor but we were at the store about three months ago
Bree: (this story is Bree's version of the Ron Paul sign)
Bree: no wait more than three months
Bree: like sometime last year
Gooper Blooper: (oh god)
Bree: december probably
Bree: anyway
Gooper Blooper: (RON PAUL SIGN UPDATE: it's still up)
Jumpropeman: when will they replace it with Rand Paul is the question
Bree: we were there and I asked for some Jarritos but they didn't have any two-liter bottles and I asked my mom "can I get a small bottle, I want to try a new flavor"
Bree: she said sure
Bree: this soda, it only comes in two sizes, at least as far as I can tell
Bree: there's two-liter bottles with normal plastic twist caps like any ordinary bottle of soda
Bree: and then there's the above-pictured 12.5 oz glass bottles with bottlecaps
Bree: so I got a small bottle of one of those in the Lime flavor
Bree: so I take this soda home and the next day I wanna drink it and I go "mom where's the bottle opener?"
Bree: she's like "oh we don't have one"
Bree: I'm like "wat, but I bought this drink with a bottlecap"
Bree: she just "welp"s at me and suggests opening it with the scissors
Gooper Blooper: lel
Bree: my mom: best parent
Jumpropeman: oh lawd
Bree: 100% safe plan
Bree: I try it but I'm a wuss so I don't try too hard because I'm afraid of horrifically murdering myself
Bree: so I give the thing to my mom and I'm like "mom open this pls :<"
Bree: she makes a valiant effort but no dice
Jumpropeman: is Jarrito spanish for "impossible to open"
Bree: next she attempts to pry off the bottlecap with the back end of a hammer
Bree: another fail
Bree: the soda is returned to the fridge
6 HOURS TIL KEVVY: i think it sounds like the spanish tried to condense a dorito in a jar
Bree: the bree drinks something else that day
Gooper Blooper: I'm reminded of that one atari screw
Bree: now we made numerous trips to the store but we never bought a bottlecap opener because ????????????????????????​????????????????????????​???
Bree: mostly because we never seem to have room in the budget for frivolous things like "a bottle opener for that ​one​ soda that's ​still in the fridge​"
Bree: I kept being like "mom? bottle opener?" and she's like "money is tight and they're like four bucks"
Bree: it's not that we're so broke we don't have four dollars, but once we've paid the bills and gotten groceries, we don't have much left and it's usually left unspent as "emergency money"
Bree: i.e., if something important comes up before mom's next paycheck
Bree: aaaaaanyway
Jumpropeman: you should just take that bottle and break it on the counter, pour the glass/drink mixture in a cup and enjoy
Gooper Blooper: yeah it does seem a bit frivolous unless you're gonna buy bottles like that a lot
RubyChao: that's not hardcore enough jrm
RubyChao: you EAT the bottle
RubyChao: soda and all
Bree: today we went to this new thing they did, a Women's Expo which honestly had nothing to do with women but it was just an excuse to walk around and get free stuff
Gooper Blooper: oh god
6 HOURS TIL KEVVY: >​you eat the bottle
6 HOURS TIL KEVVY: oh welp
6 HOURS TIL KEVVY: anyway gluttony.txt
Bree: predictably I went and promptly decided I hated it because it was really fucking crowded and noisy and there was lots of standing in lines which I hate because my fibromyalgia means I'll be exhausted in like ten minutes of standing around
Bree: I basically went to a few booths with Blue and my mom, ate a bunch of free cheese cubes, and then went and sat in the car (nowhere to sit at the expo) for like an hour
Bree: Blue joined me after like half an hour
Bree: the amount of people, crowds, noise, etc. and people being rude was really making Blue super anxious and pissed and stuff so she had to throw in the towel despite wanting all the free shit
Bree: whereas I didn't give a damn about the free shit because it's all pointless free shit like magnets and pens
Bree: like, sure it's free but I just don't really need a magnet or a pen so whatever
Bree: more on the expo later if you want, but anyway
Bree: one of the freebies we did pick up
Bree: was a bottle opener!
Bree: a miniature bottle opener!
Jumpropeman: macgyver a bottle opener out of the pens and magnet
Bree: and it's also a flashlight and a tape measure because WHY NOT
Gooper Blooper: knew it
Bree: no seriously, it's a bottle opener/flashlight/tape measure thingy
iKomodo: Yaaaaaaay
6 HOURS TIL KEVVY: amazing
Bree: so we get home and I'm like "okay mom"
Bree: "​give me the bottle opener​"
Bree: "it's time to do this"
Bree: my mom: "shit I was just playing with it, where'd I put it"
iKomodo: D:
6 HOURS TIL KEVVY: goddamn it
Bree: "MOM EVERYTHING IS SITTING ON YOUR BED HOW DID YOU LOSE IT"
Bree: we search for like three minutes, spoilers it somehow ended up under mom's butt
Gooper Blooper: noooooo
Gooper Blooper: oh okay
6 HOURS TIL KEVVY: oh
6 HOURS TIL KEVVY: ...buttsephine.txt
Gooper Blooper: bottle opener pls, breemom's butt is not a bottle
Jumpropeman: buttle opener
Bree: so I march into the kitchen and grab the soda and attack it with the bottle opener
Bree: there's an audible hiss but the bottlecap does not come off
6 HOURS TIL KEVVY: just imagining bree
Bree: pause
Bree: reattempt
6 HOURS TIL KEVVY: getting into an RPG battle with a bottle
Bree: the edge of the bottlecap bends but the bottlecap doesn't come off
Gooper Blooper: this fucking bottle
6 HOURS TIL KEVVY: boss level bottle
RubyChao: oh my god
Bree: at this point I, predictably, bring it to my mom again because now I'm sure something hideously painful will happen if I keep trying
iKomodo: D:
Bree: I'm a wuss and a coward and my mom opens all the difficult things :U
Bree: so I give it to my mom and for the record my mom doesn't know how to use a goddamn bottle opener because she used it backwards
Bree: but I don't usually use one either so I figured maybe I was wrong and she was right
Jumpropeman: this is painful to read
Bree: anyway she tries, nothing happens
Bree: tries again, nothing happens
Bree: tries again
Bree: ​the bottle opener breaks​
Jumpropeman: Most Frustrating Bottle 2015
Gooper Blooper: I'm waiting for the-there it is
6 HOURS TIL KEVVY: ...
RubyChao: WOW
Bree: I'm like "OH MY GOD THIS CHEAP PIECE OF SHIT"
Bree: she says "well it was free swag"
6 HOURS TIL KEVVY: boss level bottle
Gooper Blooper: no, you already said that, harpy - this is Final Boss Level Bottle
iKomodo: D:
6 HOURS TIL KEVVY: last day of october, everybody has to fucking try to break open this bottle
iKomodo: Wow, this goddamn bottle
Bree: of course it broke, there were hundreds of people there and they had to have enough for all of them so obviously this bottle opener was mass produced plastic garbage
6 HOURS TIL KEVVY: everybody seems to roll ones against it
Bree: but GOD DAMN IT I WANT MY FUCKING SODA
Bree: it's been in the fridge literally for months
Bree: like a solid four months just fucking sitting there because I can't fucking open it
RubyChao: why did i just imagine bree going the nuclear option
Bree: I AM GOING TO DRINK THIS SODA, GOD DAMN YOU
RubyChao: pulls out a goddamn hacksaw
RubyChao: takes it to the bottle's neck
RubyChao: hacksaw breaks
Bree: I ":< :< :< :< :<" at my mom and she carefully reassembles the snapped bottle opener and tries again
Bree: and again, and again
Bree: I'm like "get rid of the plastic bit, just use the metal bottle opener part"
Bree: (which was encased in a plastic handle which is what snapped)
Bree: so she tries once and then twice with that method
Bree: I try to explain she should turn it around because maybe she's using it backwards and she's turning the bottle opener in configurations it was never intended for
Bree: like how do you not understand what I mean when I say backwards, mother
Bree: so then I have to show her
Jumpropeman: an ancient evil has been sealed within Bree's Jarrito bottle and the holy seals are keeping it shut
6 HOURS TIL KEVVY: JRM plz
Bree: and in one last, mighty effort
Bree: the bottle is opened
Bree: AND NOW I'M FUCKING DRINKING IT.
Bree: it's not bad. :U
iKomodo: YISSSSSSSSSS
6 HOURS TIL KEVVY: jesus fuck
Bree: that is the tale of Mexican Soda
iKomodo: hahaha :U
6 HOURS TIL KEVVY: i was tempted to just get you a bottle opener because fcukin
6 HOURS TIL KEVVY: but there was no need
Gooper Blooper: the moral of the story is always buy soda with plastic caps, holy fuck
Gooper Blooper: like why do those metal caps even still exist
6 HOURS TIL KEVVY: but i like those tiny glass bottles of coke
Jumpropeman: what a shaggy dog of a bottle
6 HOURS TIL KEVVY: so some fallout chars can have some form of a currency, goops :U
Gooper Blooper: Atari Screw has nothing on Lime Jarrito

---

(Draco The Character opts to "cure" Viola's shyness by staring intently at her until she is talkative)

Draco: Visual aid:


Gooper Blooper: DRACO PLS
RubyChao: i'm laughing
Gooper Blooper: "HAVE YOU OVERCOME YOUR SHYNESS YET"
Bree: this is amazing
Bree: just
Ven: The googly eyes make it.
Bree: draco oh my god
Harpy: YES
Harpy: YEEES
Harpy: OH MY GOD
RubyChao: #Canon

---

(BK's character Mike vanishes while talking to Sarah, leaving his ice cream-like drink behind. Sarah eats it)

Brilliant Kid: Haha, I left the drink behind just to see if she'd do it. Sarah does not disappoint
Bree: a Sarahkin never, ever wastes food
Bree: ​ever​
Gooper Blooper: yep

---

Cornwind Evil: Hold on, Ven is editing his post
Jumpropeman: *commits it to memory just in case*
Jumpropeman: *feasts on possible unintentional spoilers*
Jumpropeman: *dines on the raw product of the mind before its thrown to the dogs known as the censors and editors*
Jumpropeman: *GROWS FAT ON THE SUCCULENT- okay im done*

---

RubyChao: [19:11] » Smashluigi » I'M BACK!!!
[19:12] » Smashluigi » I'M GONNA LEAVE NOW!!!
[19:12] » Smashluigi » YEAH!!!

RubyChao: the greatest contribution to an online chat i have ever seen

---

RubyChao: i am in a library right now
RubyChao: i have Become the Gloria
Draco: GASP
Draco: Including being as....​horn-y​....a​s Gloria? =p
RubyChao: ​yes
Draco: GASP
Jumpropeman: I'd like to see HER book-end if you know what I'm saying
Jumpropeman: she's a real pageturner if you catch my drift
Jumpropeman: I'd like to read her from cover to cover, wink wink nudge nudge
Jumpropeman: I started to read her but than I lost my bookmark and it wasn't the worth the trouble to try and find where I was, if you're following my line of thought!
Draco: She's got a fine dust jacket, I must say.
Draco: I'd alphabetize Gloria all day long.
RubyChao: i would check Gloria out at the library all the time
Draco: I would read a summary of Gloria on a book review website before purchasing her if you get my drift.
Jumpropeman: She's one book that's been long overdue, if know what I mean
Draco: I'd write fanfiction about her.
RubyChao: i'd love to get a good look at her binding *eyebrows*
Draco: I'd...um...use her to prop up a leaning table? D:

---

Gooper Blooper: a stupid comic about a firefighter dog
Draco: I remember that dog.
Jumpropeman: Sparky is the king of dog I wouldn't mind RPing
Jumpropeman: *kind of dog
Jumpropeman: but he is also King of Dog
Cornwind Evil: We'd give poor Sparky a heart attack
Cornwind Evil: "FIRE IS DANGEROUS!" -Utsuho creates a sun-
Cornwind Evil: "YOU MUST BE CAREFUL AROUND FIRE!" -Sine launches her latest superweapon-
Jumpropeman: he would be super paranoid about fires starting no matter where he is, even while swimming, and his power in combat would be to attract people to be abnormally dumb about fire safety
Cornwind Evil: "FIRE IS NOT A TOY!" -Chastity shows up, makes fire her toy-
Gooper Blooper: *celestia casts Firaga*
Jumpropeman: Sparky ends up being a villain because of how far the Kobbers push him
Draco: Parsee burns with jealousy.
Jumpropeman: his plan: cover the world in Fire Extinguisher foam
Gooper Blooper: Sparky murders okuu and stands triumphantly over her dead body
Gooper Blooper: Pit one-shots him
Cornwind Evil: Sine: That's carbon dioxide products. We'd suffocate.
Jumpropeman: BUT YOU WON'T BURN
Draco: ​Parsee cheers.
Cornwind Evil: Sine: But we'd be dead.
Gooper Blooper: IF EVERYONE WAS DEAD, NO ONE WOULD EVER START A FIRE
Jumpropeman: after "saving" earth, Sparky turned his sights... on the sun
Draco: What about the skeletons?
RubyChao: eventually, sparky covered the entire universe in foam
RubyChao: nothing, anywhere, could ever burn again
RubyChao: finally sparky hurled himself into the foam to preserve the universe like this for all time
Gooper Blooper: and it never
Gooper Blooper: burned
Gooper Blooper: again
RubyChao: sequel hook: cut to everyone in another universe
RubyChao: "man i'm sure glad we got out of there in time"
RubyChao: suddenly a portal opens
RubyChao: foam falls out
RubyChao: AND A DOG HAND BURSTS FROM THE FOAM
RubyChao: ROLL CREDITS
The Fighting Freak Knuckles: DIG
The Fighting Freak Knuckles: DIG
The Fighting Freak Knuckles: DIGGITY DAWG

---

 (A new Touhou character is revealed, and the fanart isn't far behind)

RubyChao: GOTTA ART ​FAST
Gooper Blooper: Is he the winner
Gooper Blooper: Was his art first
Jumpropeman: barpost
RubyChao: he was
RubyChao: he did it
Gooper Blooper: congratulations Gapangman
Jumpropeman: I should draw her and bask in the five second fame that ignores quality due to expediency
Gooper Blooper: too late now, but keep your finger on the touhou pulse and maybe you can be first for the next reveal

(later that night)

RubyChao: WE HAVE ANOTHER NEWHU
Bree: QUICK JUMPROPEMAN
Bree: DRAW THE NEW NEWHU
Jumpropeman: SHOW ME HER
RubyChao: http://en.touhouwiki.net/wiki/Seiran

(JRM vanishes for a few minutes)



Jumpropeman: TIME
RubyChao: you did it JRM
RubyChao: i'm so proud
RubyChao: :clap:

---

Jumpropeman: my least favorite touhou
Jumpropeman: is the one that looks a lot like utsuho
Jumpropeman: but isn't utsuho
RubyChao: what do you have against aya
Jumpropeman: she isn't utsuho

---

 Jumpropeman: ​fun fact: Hector's booty game is stronger than Vector's​

---

RubyChao: i have two chocolate bars
Harpy: eat them, ruby
RubyChao: i give it 5 minutes or less before i have zero chocolate bars because my appetite for chocolate is the size of lisa's tits
Harpy: oh
Harpy: oh my
Harpy: i dare you to eat the chocolate sexily
Gooper Blooper: bahahaha
RubyChao: WELL OKAY THEN
Draco: Gotta go sexy~
Del: Engage the chocolate motherfucker
RubyChao: ok, done
RubyChao: you couldn't see it but i totally ate that chocolate in a sexy way

---

Del: I wanna sleep
Del: But i need to see robin get laid
Del: Fml

---

Gooper Blooper: oh god
Gooper Blooper: my A key jammed so this is what my post-in-progress looked like
Gooper Blooper: [color=indiaaaaaasAAAAAA​AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA​AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA​AAAAAAAAAAAAAASAAAAAAAAA​AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA​AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA​AAAAAAAAAAAAqqqqqqSSSSSS​SAAAAAAAAaaaaa
Harpy: HAHAHAHA
Harpy: oh god
Harpy: ITS SINE, GOOPY STYLE
RubyChao: GOOPS PLS

---

Borealis Harpy: chatzy
Borealis Harpy: its that time again
Borealis Harpy asked Chatzy to choose between soup and cereal. Chatzy chose: soup
RubyChao: WHAT
Borealis Harpy: WHATS A SOUPORCEREAL
Gooper Blooper: it chose soup yesterday too (and then harpy suddenly got a soup craving)
Borealis Harpy: suddenly turning into a traitor
Borealis Harpy: anyway prolly gonna hygene to get all this dye off my hands
Borealis Harpy: *cleans off the blood*
Borealis Harpy: (j/k, i only used green and blue dyes)
Borealis Harpy: (like sammy would have wanted)
RubyChao: (well blood doesn't count as a dye)
RubyChao: (it counts)
RubyChao: (as a)
RubyChao: (​DIE​)
Borealis Harpy: saw it coming, still awful

---

(JRM is taking an OC survey)
 
Jumpropeman: "Is Shimmer a cat or dog person?"
Jumpropeman: can't decide....
Jumpropeman: OH NO
Jumpropeman: THIS CHARACTER IS TERRIBLE
Jumpropeman: NO DEPTH
Jumpropeman: WHAT EVEN IS SHE
RubyChao: she seems like she'd like dogs more
Jumpropeman: "When taking a shower, which direction does she face?"
Jumpropeman: HARDHITTING CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

---

Draco: Would it be a bad joke to say that SarahRPG is ​bloatware​? =V
RubyChao: yes
Gooper Blooper: kek
RubyChao: >:I
Draco: No, no, Ruby's right. It's not bloatware, it's bloatEDware.
RubyChao: exactly, that's much more fitting
Gooper Blooper: calorie-filled sugar balls, my favorite

---

RubyChao: BUT IS KOGASA FLATTER THAN TENSHI
Breenehammer: well Kevin is probably as flat as Tenshi since he's a dude (and a skinny dude at that) so he wouldn't have the bewbs
Breenehammer: Kogasa though, idk
Draco: Is it possible to be flatter than Tenshi?
RubyChao: yes
Draco: Oh my. D;
Breenehammer: I dunno, I kind of assumed Tenshi is as flat as it's possible to be
Breenehammer: any flatter and you'd literally be, like, concave
Breenehammer: like your chest curves inwards

---

Jumpropeman: fun fact: I thought Courier would be one of Broderick's later acquisitions and would contrast starkly with the behavior of other hats he acquired, BUT NOPE, my plans for this dumb bee are totally off the rails
Jumpropeman: day 2 and my plans crumble before me
iKomodo: Hahaha
Gooper Blooper: ZFRP.txt

---

EH asked Chatzy to choose between Kevvy wins, Alex wins and lol Cena wins. Chatzy chose: Alex wins
EH: Wait shit forgot something
EH asked Chatzy to choose between Kevvy wins, Alex wins, lol Cena wins and OOOOOAAAUGH Roman Reigns wins. Chatzy chose: Kevvy wins
Harpy: if cena wins the brawl i am breaking something
EH: Okay so when we add Roman Reigns to the equation, Kevvy barely steals the win
RubyChao immediately replaces an entrant with Roman Reigns
Cornwind Evil joined the chat
RubyChao: man
RubyChao: THAT TIMING
Gooper Blooper: hahaha

---

Jumpropeman: i'm pretty sure Shadow Guy is a Neo Kobber Cornwind char, because of how long his identity will be obscured
RubyChao: and not because of his philsophy?
Jumpropeman: that too
Jumpropeman: meanwhile, I'm pretty sure that bartender is a Devil Ed equivalent
Gooper Blooper: damn, how did JRM figure out that when Milennian finally speaks it'll be short, misspelled single sentences
RubyChao: "here's you're order"
Gooper Blooper: that's the whole post
Jumpropeman: "milenian is here to"
Gooper Blooper: no narration
RubyChao: also: don't forget the part where everyone is trying to do something
RubyChao: and milennian does it in one sentence
Jumpropeman: "Milennian tries to lift the impossibly heavy thing and does it"
Gooper Blooper: "HOW DID YOU DO THAT" "I duno"

---

Gooper Blooper: I've mentioned a couple times how I had a proto-sarah character years ago before joining RP
Harpy: oh?
iKomodo: Oh?
Gooper Blooper: "Beta Sarah" was basically what you'd get if you mixed Sarah with Reimu
Gooper Blooper: She had a lot more tude
Harpy: lel
iKomodo: Aw yisss
Harpy: so green white mage from FFT :U
Gooper Blooper: Exactly
RubyChao: "i'm kinda tired of all these villains starting shit"
RubyChao: "but someone has to stop them AND IT SURE AS HELL IS GONNA BE ME"

---

SteelKomodo: Ostarion in Vegas? :U
Inhale: yesssss
Inhale: lets gamble risbun
RubyChao: ostarion wins a body back ONE BONE AT A TIME
Van Wyrda: Ride your electric scooter around the lobby. Throw bone die at roulette. :v Learn to ride a bike before the other medievals can manage. ​kidnap post​
Inhale: hahaha
Jumpropeman: What is Ostarion's favorite dice games?
Jumpropeman: BONES
Inhale: roll the bones

---

Jumpropeman: I'll open voting soon, I just remember back in the day Godbot was none too happy I did other fite stuff after a fite, so I'm letting this settle a bit
Gooper Blooper: Godbot hasn't posted in three and a half years, I think it's okay
Jumpropeman: he had a valid point though D:
RedSpy: And then Godbot reappears the second JRM starts up too many fites
RedSpy: Wreathed in flames like an avenging angel
RedSpy: "WHAT DID I JUST TELL YOU!?"

---

Harpy: Sakuya's speeches strike me as Reimu-esque
Harpy: only a bit more eloquent, less blunt
RubyChao: well, Sakuya is an incident-solver
RubyChao: it might take a certain mindset
RubyChao: (unless you're Marisa)
Harpy: Marisa just steals things
Bree: Marisa is just Marisa, lel
Harpy: Reimu just wants the incident to be over, to make new friends, and to have some goddamn tea
Harpy: and if that means pointing out the utter stupidity of those around her, so be it
RubyChao: but what happens
RubyChao: to a villain
RubyChao: who shoots her tea
Harpy: they die
Harpy: you fuck with her shrine or her tea, you're dead
Harpy: Tenshi only lived by the mercy that is ​Patchouli​ Yuyuko
Gooper Blooper: "why did you rip that man's head off" "he didn't wait warmly"
Harpy: HE WAITED. COLDLY
Bree: lel
iKomodo: "Caaaaaaaarl!" "Well, they were taking all the croissant rolls!"

---

Del: DID SOMEONE SAY
Del: THE BONE KING
Del changed name to SKELETON KING
SKELETON KING: I HAVE RETURNED
Zombree changed name to Risbun
Risbun: sir joining the kobbers chatroom is not advisable
SKELETON KING: TO GAMBLE AWAY MY WEALTH AND GET CRUNK
Risbun: sir you have no wealth you already lost all of it
SKELETON KING: THEN WHY ARE YOU HERE RISBUN
Risbun: because I have to follow you everywhere sire
SteelKomodo: hahaha
SKELETON KING: THAT IS TRUE
SKELETON KING: I DID MAKE THAT ROYAL DECREE
SKELETON KING: WELL I CAN FIX THIS
SKELETON KING: I SHALL GAMBLE YOU AWAY
SKELETON KING: ONE SKELETON ON RED
Risbun: ...that is an excellent plan sire
Risbun: how may I assist
SKELETON KING: (THE PLAN IS THAT I SHALL LOSE YOU IN A GAME OF CHANCE, THEN YOU STEAL THEIR MONEY AND RETURN TO ME)
RubyWright: amazing
SKELETON KING: (IT IS FLAWLESS)
RubyWright: this needs to be in a chatzy madness
Draco: I will buy Risbun for five dollars in quarters and a steak sandwich.
Lemons: Veovis: Excepting, of course, your stage whisper could use some work. :v But yes. Flawless.
SKELETON KING: ACCEPTED, STRANGE DRAGON
Draco: Risbun, go help Donkey Kong clean the gutters or I'll turn you into a bottle of Fanta.

---

Bree: congratulations tenshi you didn't singlehandedly ruin the seankuya pairing
Bree: because I swear the first time tenshi teases sakuya about it sakuya is going to cancel everything
Del: oh no :<
Bree: "sorry sean we cannot be together, like ever, I caught leprosy and like a bunch of other horrible diseases and I'll never see you again okay bye"
Bree: click
Lemons: Everything. She'll stop time and make sure to follow the old motto, "If at first you don't succeed, DESTROY ALL EVIDENCE YOU TRIED"
Bree: yes
Bree: just burn down the entire hotel
Bree: NO PROOF

---

Jumpropeman: i don't know you guys, you guys are pretty awesome RPers while I'm gone. I should just stay away to help you little buds blossom into beautiful flowers
BreeBreeBree: NO
Jumpropeman: Bree never knew 2011ropeman
Jumpropeman: who would go whole days without posting
Jumpropeman: only to post a dumb joke
Jumpropeman: and then retreat into darkness
Jumpropeman: and also, post like, 3 times where I said "I don't know if I can keep up with RP you guys!!! Oh boy, might not RP much anymore!!!"

---

WHAT A LOVELY DAY: Okay
WHAT A LOVELY DAY: Here goes nothing
WHAT A LOVELY DAY rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 1
RubyChao: oh my fuck
Gooper Blooper: amazing
RubyChao: what the hell conrad
WHAT A LOVELY DAY kills self
RubyChao rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 5
Gooper Blooper: Cerno finally, FINALLY shows up in a fight
RubyChao scratches "AND THEN UTSUHO SAVED THE DAY" off his list
WHAT A LOVELY DAY: I'm
Gooper Blooper: and has a tractor even more loaded than Songbird and Botwoon combined
Saberwulf: Fucking hell I thought this was just gonna be a skirmish
RubyChao: "so the bad news is the changling ate conrad's other arm"
RubyChao: "the good news is he can do a wonderful Venus de Milo impression now"
Saberwulf: Conrad gets prosthetic arms, the order gets fucked up and he gets floaty rayman gloves instead

---

Gooper Blooper: Oh, I had a dumb mental image earlier I wanted to share with chao but he wasn't here at the time
RubyChao: oh?
Gooper Blooper: A touhou from RP comes across Patchy, but something's wrong - patchy is flickering in and out of visibility, and looks kind of transparent sometimes
Gooper Blooper: "Are you okay?"
Gooper Blooper: "I'm fine, but existing is an awful lot of work"

---

Jumpropeman: I just realized
Jumpropeman: since I got back from Mexico
Jumpropeman: the only video game I've played is Wario Dating Sim
Gooper Blooper: >​JRM played Wario Dating Sim
Gooper Blooper: incredible
Jumpropeman: I'm losing my nerd cred
Jumpropeman: I got with all the hot plumbers of the Mushroom Kingdom
RubyChao: oh mamma (mia)

---

RubyChao: >​eating the stun baton
RubyChao: nue
RubyChao: no
RubyChao: that's not food
Harpy: FUCK YOU YOU'RE NOT HER REAL MOM

---

Bree: the only quest alice gives out is "go fuck yourself"
Jumpropeman: ACCEPTED
M Sheep: You get floaty text like the Courier and everything
M Sheep asked Chatzy to choose between lay on the crazy slowly and bring down the heel. Chatzy chose: lay on the crazy slowly
M Sheep: chatzy is smart
M Sheep: turns out, posts with Alice take longer when she isn't just chewing the hell out of someone
M Sheep: Now i have to come up with actual ​content​
M Sheep the shock!

---

Bree: sakuya is a perfectionist
Bree: she thought sean being an awkward dorky derp was cute
Bree: until he fucked up her meticulously cultivated perfect home
Bree: he's still cute and he's probably going to be sad he fucked up and she'll feel like she kicked a puppy
Bree: but it's like
Bree: if the puppy had just shit on your $10,000 antique persian rug
Bree: right before you kicked it
Bree: you feel bad
Bree: it's just a puppy, it didn't ​mean​ to
Bree: but...
Bree: so that's sean right now
Bree: he's the puppy who shat on the rug

---

M Sheep rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 21
M Sheep: ...
M Sheep just gesticulates at number, speechless
M Sheep as mouth hangs open in a disgusted manner
Cornwind Evil: The tractor giveth and it taketh away and it giveth when oneth leasteth expectedeth
M Sheep: Attwater... eats the heck out of that sundae?
M Sheep: and here i was hoping for Attwater to roll a one and have a sugar based heart attack

---

Reading: Huh. Cops just checked in on me. Passerby apparently found it concerning that I was sitting against the wall supine for the better part of three hours, and one called to see if I was injured, rather than asking me. Police were right friendly about it, but I should probably move out from behind the coke machine- both for public concern and because I have work soon.
Two more pages, and I'll be gone.
Gooper Mover: "are you okay sir" "yes I'm merely reading about people pretending to be things" "you've been here for three hours" "I really enjoy pretending to be things, officer"
Reading: That's funny, goops, but nah. Just mentioned using the free wifi. ​​I REALLY​ enjoy pretending to be things. Is highlight of day. :I But I no have for almost fifteen days, not With People. Is make Ven Madman. @-@

---

Jumpropeman: Season 10 will be won
Jumpropeman: by Godbot
Jumpropeman: when he returns for a victory lap
Gooper Mover: No, he wins Season 11
Gooper Mover: The next nine seasons are repeat wins for the same users, forming an infinite loop
Gooper Mover: sorry about BBB14, JRM
Jumpropeman: BBB14: Yummy Mummy finally takes the crown after 9 years of abuse in Mac's place

---

Mobile GB: so spy, maybe you know this
Mobile GB: why does heat man make that same face all the time
RedSpy: Man, you try being in a room full of lava with a big ol' zippo suit
RedSpy: Its probably uncomfortable as fuck
RedSpy: Either that or he's just blazed all the time

---

RedSpy: Hey Remmy you want to go kart racing?
RedSpy: It's me, your sister, Flandy
Mobile GB: NO FLANDY
Mobile GB: FUCK OFF FLANDY
RubyChao: BUT YOU CAN BLOW THINGS UP ON A DIME REMMY
RubyChao: THIS IS BETTER THAN SCARLET MIST

---

M Sheep: hey
M Sheep: hey, guys
M Sheep: What does Bikker wear when they go to the beach?
M Sheep: a BEE KINI
M Sheep slaps knee

---

Draco: I just figured out Parsee's wish for Cornwind's Twisted Metal thing if he still does that.
Draco: Parsee wishes for a sexy body that Cian will like, expecting to get buttsephine and thighdeas. Calypso waves his hand, nothing happens, and he says "He likes you as you are. BWA HA HA HA HA now leave."

---

rommin ragnis joined the chat
rommin ragnis: OOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAA​UGH
rommin ragnis spears Chao
rommin ragnis jumps too high
RubyChao: and -
rommin ragnis keeps going
rommin ragnis breaks the atmosphere
rommin ragnis is now floating around Earth
RubyChao watches Spy escape into space

---

Jumpropeman: *flop*
Bree: hi jumpy
RubyChao: hi JRM
Jumpropeman: fraaaaaaaands
rommin ragnis: Frrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr​rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrnd
RubyChao: frrrrrrrrrrRAPADOOOOOOOO​OOO
RubyChao hits Spy with the Attitude Adjustment
RubyChao waves his hand over his face, making it impossible for Spy to see him
rommin ragnis is Vince's new golden boy and kicks Chao in the face
rommin ragnis begins furiously wanking off my hand to signal for the SUPERMAN PUNCH

---

Del: morgan freeman why
Del: why are you in so many bad movies
BakedKomodo: his career peaked after the Dark Knight trilogy
Lost Tomwhere in Time: I think there comes a point
BakedKomodo: there was only one way to go after that
Lost Tomwhere in Time: in an old actor's life
Lost Tomwhere in Time: where you really just go
Lost Tomwhere in Time: "You know what? I'm Morgan Freeman. Fuck it."
M Sheep: okay, back
BakedKomodo: wb sheep
M Sheep: danke
Lost Tomwhere in Time: I mean, I'll be honest
Lost Tomwhere in Time: if I was Morgan Freeman
Lost Tomwhere in Time: I'd be doing this to troll the crap out of people
Lost Tomwhere in Time: It would be my singular purpose
Lost Tomwhere in Time: I'd deliberately go to the most arbitrary and ridiculous of stores, and purchase items at random
Lost Tomwhere in Time: just so people could hear me ask for these specific items

---

Do not Hate Me Please: Goodness gracious. :U I looked up Sauron's Eye, and deviantart says related tags are : Rainbow Dash.
Do not Hate Me Please: ​Foreshadowing for final boss '15, are we?
Gooper Blooper: dashie finally snaps after her fifth brawl loss
M Sheep: You must throw the horseshoe in the volcano of Mt. Rainbow

---

Gooper Blooper: There are three distinct segments of RP, I've noticed
Gooper Blooper: Everything before the Brawl is the warmup
Gooper Blooper: Post-brawl for the rest of the summer is Plotmass
Gooper Blooper: And fall is "oh god why did we start fifty plots, EVENTS EVERY DAY UNTIL ALL THE VILLAINS ARE DEAD"
SteelKomodo: mmhm
M Sheep: Villains will continue until morale improves

---

Ownzone Brommander joined the chat
Dacor: Greetings, Brommander
Ownzone Brommander: Greetings Lieutenant Draco
Dacor: Do you have any orders, sir? The boyz have been loafing around for a month waiting for some.
Ownzone Brommander: Go find the biggest looking thing that isn't us and hit it a bunch
Ownzone Brommander: Then report back
Dacor: Aye aye, sir.
Ownzone Brommander: Good work
Dacor: Sir, we found a joint the size of a tank. Permission to hit that shit.
Ownzone Brommander: Smoke it loud lieutenant
Dacor: Aye aye, sir. BD
Dacor: Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuude.
Ownzone Brommander: Lieutenant, report crunk levels
Dacor rolled a d21. The die showed: 420.
Ownzone Brommander: Good work lieutenant
Dacor: All units report blazin' it, sir.
Ownzone Brommander: Give them all promotions
Ownzone Brommander: Fine work
Dacor: Thank you, sir.

---

M Sheep: tiny post
M Sheep: oh hey
M Sheep: this might be the first message I've posted that won't have my actual signature of "M Sheep Edited this 1 minute ago" plastered on it
M Sheep: LOWER THE CONFETTI
RubyChao shoots Sheep with th-e confetti cannon point-blank
RubyChao: that's for being an imposter :I
Jumpropeman: it's the Den of Lions, not Den of Beasts
YpsspY: Yes, this is the den of lions
Jumpropeman: *steeples fingers and awaits the edit*
Gooper Blooper: Members Posting: FormerVengeance, M Sheep
Gooper Blooper: poor, poor sheep
M Sheep: I knew I'd mess it up

---

Cornwind Evil: Hoganplot begins by him inexplicably destroying the KKK
Cornwind Evil: And then hacking into the web and wholly deleting Stormfront
Cornwind Evil: "I DON'T KNOW WHY I DID THAT, BROTHER, BUT IT SURE FELT NECESSARY."

---

(The Saralex wedding in Tridenland begins gearing up. Air, a mysterious character that alternately attacked and helped the kobbers, appears to talk to Sarah)
 
Jumpropeman: ​Air didn't see the No Villain or No Drama sign​
Jumpropeman: ​Air did at least see the No Outside Food Permitted sign​
M Sheep: ​Air gets in while M Sheep characters line the barrier, peering in​
Jumpropeman: ​*Air begins eating a bag of Cheetos* DAMN IT AIR​

---

(Sheep begins trying to give his opinions on GB's characters and plots)
 
M Sheep: Okay, now, what can be said about Goops, the Rper who has everything?
 
(Sheep begins talking about morally grey and controversial characters, none of which are mine)
 
M Sheep: anyway, getting waaaaay off-topic
M Sheep: So, yeah, Goop's characters
 
(Sheep begins talking about Spiderman 2)
 
M Sheep: ANY
M Sheep: WAY
M Sheep: GOOPS
M Sheep: CHARACTERS
M Sheep: i could write fraking thesis on Sine
M Sheep: ANYWAY
M Sheep: it would be full of all sorts of leaps of object, but i could do it
M Sheep: ​ANYWAY
M Sheep: *logic
M Sheep slumps
 
(Sheep begins talking about Everett)
 
M Sheep: RIGHT, GOOPS
M Sheep: I SWEAR I'M TRYING TO GET SOMEWHERE


---

Moustache: What's an unyu
RubyChao: okuu's nonsense catchphrase
RubyChao: for example
Gooper Blooper: ​an accurate representation of utsuho trying to fly away after feed yer mates 2
Bree: lots of 2hus have nonsense sound effects as catchphrases
Bree: youmu goes myon
Gooper Blooper: patchy has mukyu
RubyChao: aya says ayayayaya
RubyChao: ​reimu's is "FUCK"

---

Jumpropeman: oh my god
Jumpropeman: I just googled
Jumpropeman: "dr. doom's origin"
Jumpropeman: and it comes up with a picture and says "Earth"
Jumpropeman: like, as if that is the answer to my question
M Sheep: ahahahaha
Jumpropeman: Dr. Doom is from Earth, thank you google

---

RubyChao: how large is watchlin? still watch size?
Neo Gooper: TV size
RubyChao: alrighty
Ultimate Ruined: The TV
Ultimate Ruined: The TV is on
RubyChao: it's on channel ​SIX SIX SIX
Ultimate Ruined: Rap Rat Video Board Game (1992) Average Rating: 1.50/10 4 Ratings
Neo Gooper: I'm spooked
Jumpropeman: I thought it was just on UPN
Jumpropeman: which would be even worse
RubyChao: does Rap Rat air on Channel 666
RubyChao: this is important to know
Neo Gooper: Channel 666 has all your favorite spooks
Neo Gooper: We got lost episode marathons every weekend
Jumpropeman: >​UPN isn't even airing these days
Jumpropeman: wow, I hadn't even noticed
Neo Gooper: don't miss Mr. Bear's Cellar, new episodes each week
Neo Gooper: And, of course, Candle Cove and its' fifteen spinoffs
Jumpropeman: it was just always that channel I never stopped on
Neo Gooper: rip upn

---

Draco: Is it too late to throw a random Dracochar at Harplot? =D ​=D ​=D ​=D
Harpy: harplot? wut
A Swarm of Brees: leviaplot
A Swarm of Brees: it was a joke
A Swarm of Brees: since it's over for today
Harpy: another can be arranged, a year into the future
Harpy: this very same day
Draco: Oh good.
Draco: August 20th next year is a Saturday.
Harpy: i don't think I am allowed to schedule that far in advance
Harpy: what if other people need that saturday
RubyChao: too late
RubyChao: it's already booked
RubyChao: YOU HAVE NO CHOICE
Draco: Eeyup. Start planning it now, because you're locked in.
Gooper Blooper: If Harpy actually does a harplot one year from now that would be amazing
Harpy: i'm gonna fuckin' do it
Gooper Blooper: I'll bring Sarah again
Harpy: "LEVIAPLOT 64: STRAIGHT TO WII U"
Gooper Blooper: even if she'd done nothing else all season

(Harpy actually did this - a Harplot occurred one year later.)

---

Jumpropeman: I need to do a Soar the Eagle report again sometime
Harpy: must save elderly (and less elderly) professors
Jumpropeman: I've got it
Jumpropeman: Soar the Eagle here reporting on the deaths of local toy makers Hector and Vector!
Jumpropeman: :V
RubyChao: don't forget the death of local sparkly girl Shimmer
Jumpropeman: "Soar the Eagle here reporting on the deaths of EVERYONE. I am the last living thing on Earth after the battle against the Crawler! Heck, if I'm the last one on Earth, might as well rename Earth to something better... Like Eagelearth! And since the censors are dead too... I can say Hell! Man, I've been wanting to curse on air for years!"

---

Bree: I watched kung fu panda
Bree: I hadn't seen it in forever
Bree: I watched it with tom and his girlfriend
Bree: so I told tom meiling's opinion of the movie
Bree: her opinion? "this is an accurate depiction of learning kung fu"
Bree: "kung fu is suffering"
Gooper Blooper: skidoosh
Bree: my favorite commentary was from tom though because he's like "did they even script this bit, or did they just give jack black a microphone and tell him to be a dork for like thirty seconds"
Bree: and then later we concluded that in fact they didn't write a movie at all, they just live-recorded jack black during a LARP session and then went from there

---

Jumpropeman: >​almost writes Khamer instead of Cedric
Jumpropeman: >​accidentally writes Khamer in chatzy when he meant Khint
Jumpropeman: >​how deep will these mistakes go?
RubyChao: what about Khint?
Jumpropeman: I almost called Cedric Khint
Jumpropeman: because he's a mysterious guy with a sword helping these guys for money :P
Gooper Blooper: Yeah I was imagining him as a Khint expy as well
Gooper Blooper: same voice and everything
Harpy: reimu points out something Erutus didn't know
Harpy: the kobbers are richer than him
Harpy: they win
Harpy: sarah just buys your company twenty times over

---

RubyChao: question
RubyChao: is Abadede just misunderstood? :V
Neo Gooper: no
RubyChao: oh okay
RubyChao commences punching

---

RubyChao: you know who died in Season 2?
RubyChao: ​ZOOFIGHTS
Gooper Blooper: OHHHHHHH
Jumpropeman: my Season 2 permadeath was that unforgettable character who you all still miss, ​Bang of the Monstars​
Gooper Blooper: What, just him?
Gooper Blooper: Does that mean the rest are alive
Jumpropeman: they are part of Sheep now
Jumpropeman: in an unending state of constant undeath
Jumpropeman: playing b-ball with eldritch gods
RubyChao: sometimes, if you stare into the sheep's eyes deep enough
RubyChao: you can see a basketball
RubyChao: and hear a dribble
RubyChao: ...but maybe it's just your imagination

---

Jumpropeman: prepare to learn more about your favorite not-a-lizards
M Sheep: literally stretch lizards
Jumpropeman: ....
Jumpropeman: oh my god
Jumpropeman: they really are
M Sheep: ahahahaha
M Sheep: REALLY?!
M Sheep: I thought that was a deliberate design choice!
M Sheep: I had thought that's why you had them pull themselves into a lizard-like form in the first place!
Jumpropeman: nope, stretch lizards didn't cross my mind once during their formation

---

RubyChao: you remember how the florida oranges got irradiated in RP?
RubyChao: well, clearly they solve the problem
RubyChao: by having okuu eat nothing but oranges for a month
SteelKomodo: hahahaha
Dacor: Gamera tries a radioactive orange.
Dacor rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 16
Dacor: Mmmm...
Dacor: Okuu takes orange juice to Godzilla's all-atomic brunch.
RubyChao: everyone is invited, as long as they're not bothered by normally-lethal amounts of radiation!

---

RubyChao: i'd say "and then i did a metroidplot next year"
RubyChao: but i kinda spent the Ardea seasons mining metroid for all i could plot-wise
Gooper Blooper: SURELY THERE'S MORE TO MINE
RubyChao: well yeah
Gooper Blooper: wait, I got it
RubyChao: BOMB TORIZO, SPORE SPAWN, AND CROCOMIRE
RubyChao: MEGAPLOT 2016
Gooper Blooper: Metroid Prime Pinball Plot
RubyChao: "The name "Elephant Bird" is the result of a mistranslation, similar to Varia Suit. The Japanese name for this creature is simply 鳥人像 "Chōjin-zō", meaning "Birdman Image" or, as commonly translated, Chozo Statue. However, "Zō" also means "elephant" in Japanese, with a similar kanji, 象."
SteelKomodo: hahaha
Gooper Blooper: IT'S A GIRAFFE

---

RubyChao: look, there was a lot of backstory that didn't make it into the actual game

---

RubyChao: "Right, this settles it then. I had been thinking about this awhile, but I think the recent drama cinches it. The Despair subplot shall be pushed back to next Zoofights."
RubyChao: >​sheep planned to wrap up despair in 2012
RubyChao salutes
Gooper Blooper: no, he planned to do it "next Zoofights"
Gooper Blooper: we finally have our answer for why sheeplot doesn't end
RubyChao: okay, guys
RubyChao: you know what this means, right?
RubyChao: goops, i'm buying us tickets to britain
RubyChao: WE'RE KIDNAPPING MAJOR FAILURE SO HE BRINGS BACK ZOOFIGHTS

---

(Regarding Google's "Global Candy Cup" Halloween 2015 game)

2Goopy: Sprit animal
Cephalopod
Favorite smell
Crisp pages
Favorite place
A windowsill late at night, lighted by an oil lamp
If she wins...
"I'll start a collection of ancient manuscripts."
2Goopy: okay yeah the green witch is awesome
RubyChao: that sounds ridiculously me
2Goopy: "In the company of five siblings, space under a thatched-roof hut can get a little cramped. The pages of Chaucer, Radcliffe and Shakespeare’s Macbeth are a fine place for a young witch to escape such chaos. Unenthusiastic about physical activity, Green prefers to hone her craft in the bowels of a library rather than in the air, but she’s not to be written off--her appetite for any and all literature related to flying makes her magnificently crafty."
2Goopy: she's patchy
RubyChao: petchy
RubyChao: patchy would have dressed up for halloween
RubyChao: but it was too much work

---

Del: are you ready
Del: for
Del: something
Del: or other
RubyChao: no
RubyChao: i'm not ready for freddy
RubyChao: i've been lying to you all
RubyChao: i've NEVER been ready for freddy
RubyChao: he's caught me off guard. ​every. single. time.

---

SteelKomodo: Groudon and Kyogre aren't misunderstood, they're violent jackasses who will cause the apocalypse
SteelKomodo: unless you get a giant green snake to fly up to them and go "OI NO"
Gooper Blooper: "SO HELP ME I WILL TURN THIS CAR AROUND" "yes rayquaza"

---

RubyChao: "Want it tomorrow, Nov. 11? Order within 11 hrs 55 mins and choose Same-Day Delivery at checkout. Details"
RubyChao: guys
RubyChao: i could order garfield kart
RubyChao: and get it today
RubyChao: I COULD TURN ON A DIME, GOOPY
RubyChao: THIS IS BETTER THAN ZFRP
Gooper Blooper: or you can get the ~mobile version~ instantly
Gooper Blooper: and be shamed every race for not buying the starting line boost

---


Bree: dumb mental image
Bree: meiling is like "hey patchy you want to be my fitness buddy" "no" "it would mostly consist of me carrying you to make my training more difficult" "can I read while you do it" "sure" "...fine"
Gooper Blooper: thirty keks
Bree: that's a whole barrel of keks
Ivy Dragon: Patchy is like a lazy Yoda.
RubyChao: patchy gives training for everyone who asks
RubyChao: it consists of doing the work for her

---

RubyChao NEO: >​reading old chatzy
RubyChao NEO: >​find keysmash
RubyChao NEO: >​immediately try to spot an alruthine name
RubyChao NEO: jumpropemaaaaan
Gooper Blooper: JRM really is completely insane
Gooper Blooper: and we love him for it
Comet Warwitch: jrm is an RP magician
Comet Warwitch: he will never tell us his secrets :U
spy: JRM is amazing
RubyChao NEO: bill clinton being a lizard person is rp canon
RubyChao NEO: and i wouldn't have it any other way

---

RubyChao: think about it
RubyChao: there's been like
RubyChao: a whole generation on the internet that has no idea zoofights was ever a thing
RubyChao: they missed out
Gooper Blooper: they're like those damn millennial kids that missed pokemania
Jumpropeman: I feel bad for the poor kids these days who missed out on the Black Plague
Gooper Blooper: only middle ages kids remember
Awoken Ivel: only 90's kids remember
Awoken Ivel: 1290

---

RubyChao: i like how hardcore megagross looks
RubyChao: and there it goes, but damn did it put up a fight
RubyChao: which means
RubyChao: we now have
RubyChao: Champion Utsuho
RubyChao: brendan you killed the moment :I
Gooper Blooper: "no branden, fuck off branden" "but utsuho it's my very own rivalry"
RubyChao: "wally is a better rival than you" and then there's a faint "hooray!" in the distance

---

RubyChao: "HELLO. WELCOME TO 'SKEIRON'S LOADS OF BREAD BAKERY'."
RubyChao: goops
RubyChao: when is Skeironplot, about him opening the branch bakery
Gooper Blooper: Circa 2019, after utterly exhausting every other possible sarahkin RP
RubyChao: i'm gonna hold you to it
Draco: Circa 2019? So we're finally getting ​Uncle Gregplot?
RubyChao: if it's Season 9 and we have no Skeironplot i will riot

---

(Re: GameFAQs' Best Game Ever contest, the one Undertale steamrolled)

Gooper Blooper: Metroid looked great this contest
Gooper Blooper: Both games made the third round and both lost in very close matches
Jumpropeman: Nintendo takes notice of the support
Jumpropeman: releases Other M 2
King Etrohus: watch as Other M 2 somehow is leagues better than the original
RubyChao chokes
Jumpropeman: Samus now has two beauty marks on her face in this one
Gooper Blooper: samus is portrayed as a weak little girl unable to get the job done alone after seeing a Zoomer and getting horrible flashbacks
RubyChao falls over
RubyChao dies
King Etrohus: I'm trying to be so optimistic ;;
Gooper Blooper: fortunately there are some strapping young men who can take over for her
RubyChao soul-shatters
King Etrohus: *undertale game over theme plays*

---

Jumpropeman: okay this is turning into a creepypasta
Dopey Girl Likes Her Chars: oh god
Dopey Girl Likes Her Chars: what makes you say that
Jumpropeman: the game was having trouble loading the title screen so I opened the disc tray and closed it. The attract screen started so I skipped it, and the screen went black for a long while again before Bubsy appeared, looking directly at me in a dark room illuminated only by a spotlight
RubyChao: 2spooky
SteelKomodo: D:
Dopey Girl Likes Her Chars: kek
RubyChao: (the "dark room in a spotlight" thing is the setting for the death cutscenes and some other short cutscenes)

---

Jumpropeman: its like a creepypasta. "The referee was knocked unconscious... but we kept fighting each other just to see what would happen"
Gooper Blooper: I assumed it was just a ref bump and kept wrestling
Spy: Then the referee woke up
Spy: I pinned my opponent
Spy: He counted one. Two. Three.
Spy: Four?
Spy: He wouldn't stop counting
Spy: I didn't want to get up
Spy: he counted again. Five! Six!
Spy: Six!
Spy: Six!
Spy: Six!
Spy: The ligths went out
Spy: The ring opened up
Spy: Kane came out, but he had no eyhes
Gooper Blooper: 6666, THE NUMBER OF THE ULTRA DEVIL
Spy: He pushed me away and hit my opponenet with a steel chair so hard he died
Gooper Blooper: it was hyper-realistic steel
Spy: King made another fdad joke like nothing happened
Spy: Cole tried to rbing up something was wrong, but JBL just told him wah wah black helciopters maggle
Spy: Kane grabbed me by the throat, looked me in the eyes, told me to go to hell, and chokeslammed me
Spy: I'm still shake n
Gooper Blooper: we are the lizards
Spy: This is the last thing I will ever write because every creepypasta has to end in despair suicide or depsair impending death. I dunno which
Spy: But I see myself coming out of the mirror weairng a Kane mask. I guess the answer is both somehow

---

Harpy: i think a flock of sumirekos would be
Harpy: esoteric
Harpy: :U
Bree: an esoteric of sumirekos
Bree: perfect

---

Rambler: I picked up a legendary sword from a corpse (of a super mutant I had slain, naturally) that does another 50% damage against any machine foe and can be upgraded to an electric shock sword with serrated edges. It's called ​General Chao's Revenge. :u
RubyChao: i am avenged
Jumpropeman: what did they do to you chao
Jumpropeman: what did the robots do
RubyChao: you don't wanna know

---

Bree: oh my god eiki's name translation
Bree: oh my god
RubyChao: yessss
Bree: what the fuck google
RubyChao: so: the original name is Shikieiki Yamaxanadu
RubyChao: and google makes it come out aaaas
RubyChao: "Four Seasons Utsuhime-SA Grand Theft Auto San Andreas MOD"
RubyChao: yes, the GTA part is actually in there
Bree: it is
Raven: amazing
RubyChao: i have no idea where google gets it
Bree: for real
Bree: if komachi could see that
Bree: she'd laugh so hard she died
RubyChao: would she then buy eiki a copy of GTA San Andreas as a gag gift
Bree: possibly
Bree: and my headcanon version/zfrp eiki would secretly enjoy it while insisting she doesn't
SteelKomodo: XD
Bree: "this is a bad game for bad people, people who play this are bad *intentionally mowing down pedestrians*"

---

N Goat: Sine, no
N Goat: Sine, honey, no
N Goat: when the celestial dragon calls out your lie, don't double down
Gooper Blooper: doubling down is what sine does best
N Goat: "...when caught in a lie, the best course of action is to hold onto the lie."
N Goat: SIIIIINE

---

RubyChao NEO: okay, let's see if it works in reverse!
RubyChao NEO: gooper blooper
RubyChao NEO: predict my plot
Gooper Blooper: A character will be built up as a huge obvious evil mastermind. Midway through, another very unlikely character will start having hints dropped they are in fact the true villain
Gooper Blooper: and then it will turn out it was the obvious guy after all

(I was correct.)

---

N Goat: "Yes sirree, bobarooney, we got deals here, deals on top of deals, deals inside deals. Why, we've even got deals that cost you more money."
N Goat: And then we find out that Jack was actually a Kappa all along
Harpy: kappa-paa
RubyChao: jack tries to bargain with nitori
RubyChao: what happens
N Goat: a feedback loop of jargon and hustling to the point that Jack ends up trying to sell kappa goods to Nitori while she tries to bargain them down, Clyde
N Goat: and then an awkward pause when Nitori realizes she's speaking with a phony New York accent and Jack realizes he's wearing her hat
N Goat: they agree to never speak of this incident again
N Goat: in reality land: Nitori probably comes out on top because Jack is rubbish

---

RubyChao: so i am reading jojo
RubyChao: this arc is named "Guard Westwood's Secret"
RubyChao: considering what manga this is, i think i already know his secret
Gooper Blooper: is his secret a stand
RubyChao: probably
Gooper Blooper: plot twist: it turns out he has another secret in addition to the stand, responds with "I thought everyone already knew I had this thing" and the next chapter is called Guard Westwood's Actual Secret
RubyChao: pfffft
Draco: His secret is.....his secret bbq recipe.
RubyChao: status report: guard westwood's secret was ​he has a stand
RubyChao: shocking, i know
Gooper Blooper: :O :O :O
Draco: :I
Draco: So what? ​He has furniture. OOOH! What? Is this a show about people who don't like having places to put their books?
Draco is being Draco.
RubyChao: yes, whenever people talk about stand fights it's actually people beating each other up with furniture
RubyChao: it's pretty amazing it carried through six parts so far

---

Jumpropeman: "The hour grows desperate, and two worlds stand at the brink! The Pokémon TCG: XY—BREAKpoint expansion reveals the growing rift between the twin worlds, first discovered by Shiny Mega Gyarados-EX. As the rift tears through the skies, more Pokémon are drawn into the struggle, including Greninja BREAK, Luxray BREAK, and Mega Scizor-EX! Can they mend the rift and save both worlds from collision chaos?"
Jumpropeman: I wasn't aware the Pokemon TCG had a cross-dimensional plot going on
ivel: I wasn't aware the Pokemon TCG had a plot
RubyChao: I wasn't aware
Jumpropeman: more Pokemon join the struggle! Like Shellder, and Trubbish! MEND THE REALITY RIFT YOU TWO
ivel: SOMEONE has to repair reality BI

---

iKomodo: There was a brief waifu war in this house over SF5
iKomodo: as in, me and del both wanted to main Mika
iKomodo: cue the death glares
GarnetChao: #butts
Harpy: did you destroy him
Gooper Blooper: mirror match, winner gets mika
2d6+Del: Its either that or i play ryu and i would rather die
iKomodo: No, he beat me three fucking times even though he has no idea what he's doing
Harpy: don't play ryu, play chun li
iKomodo: ...you know there are other characters, right?
Gooper Blooper: harpy no
Gooper Blooper: that would mean chun li vs mika
Gooper Blooper: nothing would survive
Harpy: LEGS VS. BUTTS

---

Chaopiece SP: "He says his Fullbring allows him to do this and explains that his contract with the gods of time gives him greater strength the simpler the clauses are. He says his current contract is for the simplest, most brutal strengthening of power and that he's unmatched. Kenpachi interrupts him, saying it was boring to kill him as Giriko is cut in half."
Chaopiece SP: yep
Chaopiece SP: author just had no idea what to do
Chaopiece SP: so he died right away :V
Gooper Blooper: beautiful
Gooper Blooper: good storytelling
Chaopiece SP: ​so attwater hulks up the next time the hotel is attacked, right
Gooper Blooper: attwater is our new nuclear option
Bad News Bree: so when does sakuya turn into the hulk
Jumpropeman: wouldn't be surprised if there's pictures of multiple Touhulks
Chaopiece SP: when someone steals her prized possession
Chaopiece SP: her antique cat doll

---

(Chao is playing Skies of Arcadia)

Eggerchao: okay i have to point this name out in chatzy
Eggerchao: >​Gordo the Round
Gooper Blooper: all will fear gordo the round
Paper Mario: i can't take anyone who names themselves "Fat the Round" seriously

---

J Jonah Delson: Oh shit
J Jonah Delson: EVA Boston report
J Jonah Delson: Clone girl Hannah has accepted Franklin's shit poem and date offer
J Jonah Delson: And I got exp from it
J Jonah Delson: The shipping doesn't stop
J Jonah Delson: The power plants of the shitty teen heart need love coal
J Jonah Delson: Write that down sheep that's fucking Shakespeare
BurningChao: "​The power plants of the shitty teen heart need love coal.​" - Jake "Deleter" Newton, 2016

---

N Goat: oh my goodness, this all natural, gluten free puffed rice and marshmallow monstrosity tastes like a thick air
SteelKomodo: welp
N Goat: I can't wait to find out how these all natural, gluten free, peanut free, tree nut free, milk free, egg free, non-GMO, 0 grams transfat Ginger snaps taste like
Sick Bree: sheepls
N Goat: I'm amazed the package had enough room left over after telling me everything it wasn't to actually tell me the package contains ginger snaps
 
(later)
 
M Sheep: Hello, hello, got out of rehearsal early and have just walked back to the dorm for a hearty meal of all natural, gluten free, peanut free, tree nut free, milk free, non-GMO, 0 grams trans-fat Ginger snaps and maybe a chocolate bar
M Sheep: decided I'm going to have that chocolate bar after all
M Sheep: because I'm worth it
Gooper Blooper: also it turns out the ginger snaps were also ginger-free and snap-free and sheep was eating a bag of holographic meatloaf
Svendal, Shaman of Lore: Why are you eating food free foods? This is a far worse horror story than any CW has tried to pull on me. D=
M Sheep: Because, believe it or not, it's actually better than most other food options on campus

---

PlanetaryChao: i had a dream of which all i can remember is the title of a short story
PlanetaryChao: which was "The Bog in the Meadow-lands"
PlanetaryChao: what made it stand out was the way meadowlands was spelled
Gooper Blooper: Immediately upon seeing that
Gooper Blooper: I thought "that is 100% sheep"
Gooper Blooper: Sheep would write something called The Bog in the Meadow-lands, dash and all
Juju Gent: I believe I asked if the King in Yellow would have jurisdiction in The Bog in the Meadow-lands. =u And then I remembered that the reference might not actually be gotten.
 
(later, upon being shown this sequence)
 
Mouldering Sheep: I resemble that remark

---

Jumpropeman: "Splatoon’s 13th North American and European Splatfest will be taking place during the weekend of April 23. It’ll come with a special theme: one based on SpongeBob SquarePants. Players will be asked to side with either SpongeBob SquarePants or his starfish sidekick, Patrick Star from the Nickelodeon animated television show."
PhoneDel joined the chat
Jumpropeman: hi del
PhoneDel: Hi
Jumpropeman: you're just in time to find out about Spongebob Splatfest
PhoneDel: The worst time
Jumpropeman: since Splatoon takes place like, thousands and thousands of years in the future, it's clear that Nickelodeon did not ever stop wringing out the tv show for all its worth, even after human extinction

---

StarlightChao: >​windows 10 popup with "we'd like to schedule your upgrade for this time"
StarlightChao: microsoft, i know you have the church booked
StarlightChao: but i don't want this wedding

---

Maturday Sheep: >​and the god laughed - a horrid, thin laugh like a knife
Maturday Sheep: it's the thin laugh that gets me
Maturday Sheep: a thin laugh, when it pops up in your reading, it never really is a good thing, is it?
Gooper Blooper: I don't think so
Gooper Blooper: You want hearty, wide laughs
Gooper Blooper: like hiker anthony
Jumpropeman: GWAHAHA
Gooper Blooper: now there's a man you can trust, when he's not being puppeted by an insane spirit of rebellion
Jumpropeman: it happens to the best of us, Goops
VolcanicChao: it does
VolcanicChao: but you know
VolcanicChao: is being puppeted by a spirit of rebellion ​really​ all that bad?
VolcanicChao: i mean that joyce jr. fellow, he had a point!

---

Jumpropeman: *opens Youtube subscriptions*
Jumpropeman: *4 videos about the new Sun and Moon starters&
Jumpropeman: I subscribe to too much Pokemon stuff
Expose The Esoteric: As I pointed out to Chao and Harpy, we're getting a tropical island Pokemon game just as we leave Las Vegas in ZFRP for a tropical island
Expose The Esoteric: sometimes funny coincidences happen
Jumpropeman: I'm sure there will be no Pogeys in season 7
Expose The Esoteric: not a one
Expose The Esoteric: no sir
Jumpropeman: god forbid, god forbid

---

Jumpropeman: ah good, I found it. The reason I revisited the old forum was to make sure I remembered Fumes's backstory
Jumpropeman: I was accurate about that part, but not so much remembering the whole NOMNOMNOMEMOJIEMOJIEMOJI​ parts
Jumpropeman: "OMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM
Uh oh Sarah! You may be a big eater, but can you beat a homeless man in... AN EATING CONTEST!?!? I don't know, but Fumes had long finished his cake and was swiping big hunks out of the larger cakes. He never actually touched the larger cake with his hands though, because he still smelled and didn't want to stink up the cake.
Still, he took huge chunks away with each pass :3"
Jumpropeman: soooooo sorry
Jumpropeman: another reason to never let Ven see the old forum

---

SilverChao: who wants to hear my exciting 2017 plot
SilverChao: okay so what i'm thinking is
SilverChao: the island is in darkness, and the only way to fix it is to collect the 120 shine sprites by visiting eight different places
SilverChao: and also you buy a bunch of them with blue coins
SilverChao: this is original and has never been done before!!
Jumpropeman: when do we kill Gooper
SilverChao: three times
Jumpropeman: nice

---


KnucklesChao: "-R.O.B, a NES and famicon peripheral, is a tragic villain of circumstance for a majority of the game and ends as the last survivor of his race who goes on a revenge quest for being manipulated and blackmailed into assisting the genocide of his race."
Mr GottaGo: I want to play this game now.
KnucklesChao: it's called
KnucklesChao: ​super smash bros brawl
Mr GottaGo: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA​AAAAABRHRFAGHAHAGG
-foams at mouth and falls over-
KnucklesChao: hmm, bad reaction
Mr GottaGo: Less bad than the time they gave me nineteen twenties cola, tho'.

---

Del: what season are we on
Del: 6 right?
Gooper Blooper: yep
Del: "Gooper Blooper: Season 7 plot: Get A Gift For Splinter"
Del: helpful reminder
Chao: oh lordy
Gooper Blooper: very important
Chao: #happening
Chao: #...next year
SteelKomodo: somebody write that down
SteelKomodo: this is important :U
 
(We did not get a gift for Splinter.)

---

Gooper Blooper: Chao wants me to remind everyone that pretty much every 2hu in ZFRP (all two dozen of the bastards) can be traced back to him very hesitantly entering Utsuho as a lotto entrant in BBB3 and being so scared she'd be poorly received that he put her entry in a spoiler
TemporalChao: it took goops actively suggesting her, i think
Bree: kek
Bree: you really started something, chao
Gooper Blooper: It's his equivalent of ONE VOTE

---

Dellaris: I don't want to know about touhou but I keep learning about it
Bree: I'M SORRY
Dellaris: The curse of chatzy
Bree: YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE MADE PAIRINGS WITH ME
Dellaris: I know
Gooper Blooper: the cursed breepairings
Dellaris: I'mma be on my deathbed
Dellaris: "Any regrets?"
Dellaris: "Seankuya"
Dellaris: "Dad wtf are you on about"
Bree sniffles

---

Gooper Blooper: okay, I attempted to jump to the booby paragraph by hitting control+F and typing "booby"
Gooper Blooper: but something went wrong
M Sheep: Jumped to Meiling's entry?
Gooper Blooper: and that's how I wound up staring at the phrase "Kamen Rider Booby"
Gooper Blooper: lel sheep
Back to Spyberry: something went very wrong
Back to Spyberry: instead of booby . . . goops timed BLOODY
Back to Spyberry: and then he went to the page of the most secret and most 67th entrant
Back to Spyberry: but no. he wasn't entrant 67
Back to Spyberry: he was entrant
Back to Spyberry: 6
Back to Spyberry: 6
Back to Spyberry: 6
Harpy: boob
Back to Spyberry: it was a pianta but he wasn't like most piantas. the leaf on his head was wilted and there was smile in his eyes
Back to Spyberry: also he was cvered in the blood
Back to Spyberry: it said height: 6'66". weight: weighed down by your sins
Back to Spyberry: strengths: if you die in the brawl you die in real life
Gooper Blooper: a fragment of the mythical blood pianta
Back to Spyberry: now goops dind't know how this 666th fighter got here but he was part of the brawl ,and damnit that meant he was part of the aanalysis
Back to Spyberry: but when goops started typing . . . the keyboard tpyed by itself
Back to Spyberry: it was a gruesome bloody account just as long as the big bar brawl
Back to Spyberry: the blood pinata was killing everybody even winston
Back to Spyberry: soon it was the final two. blood pianta and mac tonight
Back to Spyberry: wait, mac tonight? mac tonight wasn't in this brawl!
Back to Spyberry: but the blood piajnta killed him anyway. then cleft. then doomrider. even rob
Back to Spyberry: "Where are your champions now" he asked. gooper lbooper didn't want this. gooper blooper liked our old chjampions
Back to Spyberry: but they were
Back to Spyberry: dead
Draco rolled a die with 666 sides. The die showed: 122
Back to Spyberry: he tired to hit backspace but it didn't work. instead the word NO flashed on his screen
Back to Spyberry: he hit it again. each time he hit it the word NO stayed around for longer
Sick Bree: impromptu creepypasta is best creepypasta
Back to Spyberry: Soon the NO started to fill his screen, pulsating the whole time
Back to Spyberry: it formed a face
Back to Spyberry: the face of tje blood pianta
Back to Spyberry: itr grinnec even though it didn't hjave a mouth
Harpy: what is the hadpen
Back to Spyberry: "If you die in the brawl you die in real life" it said to goops
Back to Spyberry: "I know.. I read that." goops said, as he reached for the plug to his computer
Back to Spyberry: but it didn't unlplug. The plug was gummed up . . . WITH BLOOD
Sick Bree: @harp: spaps is doing impromptu creepypasta theater
Gooper Blooper cowers in terror
Sick Bree: starring goops
Back to Spyberry: the blood pianta was lauhging on the screen. "you cannot stop me" it said
Gooper Blooper: too bad chao isn't here
Back to Spyberry: "none of you can stop me"
Draco: ​And then the abomination was Draco.
Sick Bree: that's what chatzy madness is for, goops!
Harpy: oh i know that
Back to Spyberry: it opened its mouth and spat something onto the floor. it was the spy's ski mask
Harpy: i'm like
Harpy: plz
Back to Spyberry: "they are all already dead"
Back to Spyberry: "you are too late"
Back to Spyberry: "you are nxt"
Back to Spyberry: goops was desperate and tried to smash his computer with a hammer. one smack. too smack. three smack
Back to Spyberry: it broke, but then a voice echoed through the house
Back to Spyberry: "FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL​"
Draco: Chatzy Madness canceled until after ZFRP.
Back to Spyberry: goops had only set the blood pianta free. it climbed out of the smashed monitor, lauhging and laughing
Gooper Blooper: it loffed and loffed and it was all my fault
Back to Spyberry: it took out a bloody paintbrush and held it threateningly at goops, liooking at him dead in the eye
Back to Spyberry: and he said
Back to Spyberry: "this is your blood"
Back to Spyberry: "clean this mother fucker"
Back to Spyberry: i don't know what happened next. i blacked out as the blood pianta laiughed
Back to Spyberry: i still hear him lauhging
Draco: ​And then Draco saved the day by deleting Chatzy.
Back to Spyberry: this will be the last thing i write for i am surely next
Sick Bree: *spoop intensifies*
Harpy: plz
Sick Bree: thank you spy
Sick Bree: it was a masterpiece
Cornwind Evil: Spy, your skill at this is...disturbing.
Sick Bree: it turns out spy invented creepypasta
Sick Bree: no, not just that
Sick Bree: secretly
Back to Spyberry: . . . wait Chao isn't here?
Sick Bree: he is responsible
Sick Bree: FOR EVERY SINGLE CREEPYPASTA ON THE INTERNET
Back to Spyberry: Also I'm glad you guys like!
Sick Bree: chao went to bed, dude
Gooper Blooper: Chao went to bed early
Harpy: i don't remember doing creepypasta night
Harpy: i think someone else wrote it for me
Draco: It's okay, Spy. I'll delete it all from Chatzy so he can't see it.
Back to Spyberry: Darn. He asks me to do Blood Pianta for like a year now
Back to Spyberry: Goops gives me the perfect hook and he's speep

---

DetectiveChao: i figured out how to handle FFT if i ever play it
DetectiveChao: my special run condition will be
DetectiveChao: Kill All White Mages :D
Harpy: plz
Gooper Blooper: chao why :<
DetectiveChao: to spite you
M Sheep: Should have told him people die in the brawl when they are killed, Goops
M Sheep: Now this mage over here
M Sheep: is going to have to have a little
M Sheep: accident
M Sheep drops ice cream cone on ground
Draco: 😭
Gooper Blooper: sheeeeeep *cries*

---

Draco: I am perturbed. Someone asked for a story told from the perspective of a Dorito, but apparently it was too macabre.
SteelKomodo: what
SteelKomodo: how
SteelKomodo: and moreover, why
Draco: They wanted something like Toy Story.
Draco: They got: "I've lived my entire life in darkness. Ever since I awoke, my brother and I have been confined to a small universe where we could feel, hear, and sometimes even break each other. We knew there was a larger world out there; we could hear the voices, feel outsider forces moving our little world about. Every jostle would cause one of my brother to cry out in pain as a corner was broken off or - even worse - they broke in half."
Draco: They didn't let me finish. :I
SteelKomodo: woooooow
SteelKomodo: that's some shit
Draco: I have a passion for RPing as chips, I guess?
Draco: The story wouldn't have been much longer anyway. The next section would've just been: then the bag was opened and someone ate me. THE END.
SteelKomodo: double woooooow
Draco: IT'S THE STORY OF A DORITO. HOW ELSE WOULD IT END?
SteelKomodo: *shrug*

---

M Sheep: Chao, wasn't there some video you wanted me to see?
FabioChao: yes
FabioChao: look what i found!
M Sheep: Such a waste of an interesting power
M Sheep lies down
Cornwind Evil: At least Kenpachi's next big opponent used their interesting power better and died better
FabioChao: i might as well tell you that this has given me the perfect inspiration
FabioChao: after all the evidence collecting for anderson
FabioChao: it'll just end with him hulking up and dying in one hit
FabioChao: thanks, sheep!
FabioChao: you've made this plot far better!
M Sheep: Chao, I will literally die a little inside
Gooper Blooper joined the chat
FabioChao: hi goops
FabioChao: we're tormenting sheep

---

Tableter: I wanna see doomguy eat a sandwich
Tableter: He'd demolish it i bet
Bree: but he'd have to take off his helmet D:
Gooper Blooper: rip and tear
MeleeChao: YOU ARE HUGE! THAT MEANS YOU HAVE HUGE MEAT AND VEGGIES!
Tableter: No he wont hed smash the thing through the grille on the front
Tableter: Vague eating noises are heard
Tableter: It somehow works

---

Cornwind Evil: ​How many times they did 'LOOK! WE'RE HIP WITH THE YOUTH!" style commercials, or how many times they did chocolate themed superheroes.​
iKomodo: I'm more concerned about the lengths Barney's going to
iKomodo: if you want some cereal, dude, just ask! Fred's your best buddy, it's not like he'll say no!
iKomodo: i get that we wouldn't have a commercial if he did that, but jeez
iKomodo: i wonder if this is why Barney was so poor in the movie - he blew all his money on these elaborate schemes and Betty didn't have the heart to hold an intervention
Cornwind Evil: There's drugs, there's hoarding, and then there's Cocoa Pebbles

---

M Sheep: Erebus returns to throw food at people
M Sheep: and then immediately leaves after
TheoreticalChao: i would love that
Gooper Blooper: sheepls
TheoreticalChao: just for the hilarity inherent in it
Gooper Blooper: "Ave. It has been a long time." *long pause, Erebus chucks a pie at Dave and Dave falls over* "...Well, bye!" *leaves*
M Sheep: Warhammer 40K Calories

---

Draco: Best Sister won the Splatfest?
GunslingerChao: no, draco, she lost :<
Draco: SK, is Chao right? Marie lost? D:
SteelKomodo: hi draco
SteelKomodo: nope, Callie lost
SteelKomodo: SUCK IT :D
SteelKomodo throws Marie-only party
GunslingerChao goes to sulk angrily with the other people who made the right decision and lost for it
SteelKomodo: it ain't the right decision if you lost ;P
GunslingerChao: there were just too many people with bad opinions
SteelKomodo: majority vote don't lie, motherfuckaaaaaa
GunslingerChao: ...i am tempted to make a possibly mean joke
GunslingerChao: should i
SteelKomodo: hey, i'm hardened at this point
SteelKomodo: i'm ready for anything
GunslingerChao: okay
GunslingerChao points at Brexit
SteelKomodo: WAIT I LIED
SteelKomodo: I WAS NOT READY FOR ANYTHING

---

M Sheep: I suddenly remembered a dream I had last night
M Sheep: It's coming back to me
M Sheep: It was animated. An anime?
M Sheep: A show where all the characters were bears
M Sheep: and it was on a viking-like vessel
M Sheep: but with bears
M Sheep: And all the dialogue was bear noises with subtitles
Bree: this is the best show ever
Bree: you won me over at "bear noises with subtitles"
M Sheep: And the Viking(? I dunno, the guy in charge was wearing a horned helmet)'s ship was being boarded by an enemy vessel
M Sheep: TIME FOR A MARITIME BEAR BATTLE
M Sheep: Except no
M Sheep: Instead, they're actually a merchant vessel
M Sheep: And maybe the other one is too?
M Sheep: And they set down to a trade negotiation
M Sheep: and that's the whole series; trade negotiations, economics, talking about currency, and sailing new trade routes
M Sheep: But with bears
M Sheep: I swear I'm not making any of this up
M Sheep: In that I dreamed it, I mean
Jumpropeman: sheep, you might like the anime Spice and Wolf
Jumpropeman: it seems like its about a dude having a romance about with a wolf lady, but it's actually about medieval economy and trade
M Sheep: I only mention the dream, despite it being odd even for me, is that my first thought upon waking was "Purnima would totally watch that."

---

M Sheep: Each season of Rp features Eggerman ascending another rung on the government ladder
CouncilChao: in 2020, he is elected President of the United Earth
CouncilChao: the entire world roars in approval
CouncilChao: dj candy has a thousand yard stare

---

Bree: "Are the tapes and Mizuki's memory of viewing them the only way to prove that it ever existed?"
Bree: this is what sheeplot does to perfectly sane characters
Bree: by the end of october it'll just be mizuki in a padded cell
Bree: screaming "WHAT IS REALITY? WHO IS EZEKIEL EKEHART?"

---

Jumpropeman: i still love how we dealt with Mr. X in the end. Just everyone standing around going "animals be animals!" and shrugging as Tupai eats him up *is only slightly delirious*
Jumpropeman: Pteron could learn something from Tupai
Jumpropeman: that chupacabra got things done
Gooper Blooper: I was all set to kill Center-Sensei but I knew I wouldn't be able to go through with it when a tiny old dying bunny looked Dolby right in the eyes and said "do your worst"
LiveAChao: i wasn't sure what nitori was going to do
LiveAChao: but then
LiveAChao: time warner forced me to fob it off on jrm anyway :V
Gooper Blooper: Oh, was that all him?
Jumpropeman: I was all set for you all to kill Center-Sensei and then I couldn't write an ending to his rant so that happened
Jumpropeman: Chao gave me two ideas
LiveAChao: the first line was me but the rest was JRM
Jumpropeman: one had a direct Nitori quote and the end result sort of laid out
LiveAChao: since a back and forth would have been basically impossible on phone
Jumpropeman: the other was "Nitori shoots him in the head i dunno"
LiveAChao: i was getting really frustrated by the internet outage at that point :V
Gooper Blooper: If he'd attacked us one more time, somehow, I would have done it
Gooper Blooper: But if the villain surrenders I tend to lay off unless they're REALLY fucked up
Jumpropeman: "Asobin gyrates at the Kobbers menacingly" (1) "TAKE HIM OUT DOLBY"
Gooper Blooper: XD
Gooper Blooper: I'm just
Gooper Blooper: I'm just imagining him doing some ridiculous hip swivel and then Dolby just fucking pulls out a gun
Gooper Blooper: "NOT THIS TIME" *BLAM*

---

(After Chao stays up until 4 AM to participate in a plot)
 
LiveAChao: alright, alright, that settles it
LiveAChao: literally all of you want me to sleep
LiveAChao: so i will finish this post and then immediately sleep :V
Saltsword: Nah, you're already invested Chao, you might as well just stay up and RP all nightday.
LiveAChao: ​shhh, don't tell them the plans
Bree: brine playing the heel
LiveAChao: oh hey someone else is awake
PhoneDel: Timezonius has no power over this man

---

Jumproplympics: "From the new Dragon Ball Movie comes the popular Frieza character, major villain and galactic emperor feared for his ruthlessness..." wow, they really are upselling Raspberry- "joined by fellow villains who are capable of their own evil acts"
Jumproplympics: oh there we go
Jumproplympics: Raspberry! Capable of his own evil acts!

---

Monopolized Sheep: I'm going to do a little RP catch up and feel my sins crawling on my back
Monopolized Sheep: "YAYYYYYYY-! Let's play Go! Let's play Go!"
Monopolized Sheep: And then there's this guy

---

RubyChao: the more i read on the bleach wiki, the more i goggled
RubyChao: you remember "it was boring to kill him?" at least that was onscreen
RubyChao: there's one fight that goes "the villain just POWERED UP TO HIS ULTIMATE FORM" *cuts away*
RubyChao: *cuts back*
RubyChao: "he's dead now"
RubyChao: "they killed him offscreen"
Gooper Blooper: now THAT'S quality
RubyChao: i'd joke about that being how you defeat a major foe in councilplot but let's be honest
RubyChao: that's so annoying i can't even joke about it
Gooper Blooper: you did joke about it, sort of
Gooper Blooper: you once joked The Enigma just doesn't exist and there's only 12 council members and it was a scare tactic
RubyChao: ah, true!
RubyChao: yeah i'm pretty sure i couldn't get away with that :V
Gooper Blooper: ENIGMA DETAIL CONFIRMED: IT EXISTS
Gooper Blooper: on our way to solving this mystery
RubyChao: i will confirm one other thing!
RubyChao: the enigma will be revealed this season
RubyChao: with those two pieces of information, you've narrowed it down!
Gooper Blooper: Now I'm imagining the enigma NOT being revealed this season, but we still fight it without describing it and then you reveal it next year by posting a picture of its' corpse

---

Jumpropeman: I feel like we can RP all kinds of characters from awful works across all mediums in interesting and meaningful ways... all except the cast of Nutshack
Jumpropeman: they are a hopeless dead end
RubyChao: i found some Nutshack episodes
RubyChao: and now i want to ask
RubyChao: JRM how can you say that Tito Dick would not be a valued addition to the lore of ZFRP >:I
Jumpropeman: *Spy has Tito enter the bar*
Jumpropeman: *is immediately hit with a permaban from all admins*

---

RubyChao: "Soar is confident, charming, encouraging and all-inspiring, driving others to be the best they can be by following his motto "soar like an eagle." He is fully dedicated to his jobs and always faces them to the best of his abilities. However, he is far from overconfident and instead remains realistic, keeping a clear view on the tasks ahead of him and understands the consequences of the wrong choices.[5]"
RubyChao: i think someone is biased
Gooper Blooper: did soar write his own sonic wiki entry
RubyChao: "Many fans has liken Soar to Silver the Hedgehog due to his black eye rims and busy eyebrows resembling Silver's."
RubyChao: ...i
RubyChao: wikitrivia.txt
Jumpropeman: definitely. Heck, I thought he was Silver the first time I saw him!

---

Jumpropeman: I was very worried I might be called in to work today. I feel I can move my other two plot days believably, but leaving Pteron hanging that long woulda sucked.
Jumpropeman: "I'M SO ANGRY I GOT TO FIND ARMSTRONG! But first I will check absolutely every possible place before the bar just to be extra sure"

---

RubyChao: Held in San Francisco's Masonic Center for a crowd of 3,000 invited guests, the 2000 Webby Awards were widely considered the peak of the Webby Awards and a watershed of dot com party culture.[1] The event took place May 11, 2000, shortly before many of the event's perennial nominees and participants suffered business failures in the dot com crash.[2]
RubyChao: Future award events were more somber. By the next year's event, one fifth of the 2000 nominees were out of business, and more than half of the winners had been sold, suffered layoffs, or failed.[2] By 2002, there was not enough money available to pay for a live event.[4]
Gooper Blooper: AMAZING AWARD WINNERS
Gooper Blooper: (you enjoyed your format wars books didn't you)
RubyChao: yes, both dot con and dot bomb were fantastic reads
RubyChao: it really was a wild time
Gooper Blooper: The turn of the century, man
Gooper Blooper: Pokemania, early internet, and hanging chads

---

Margaery Tyrell: ""witch windows", or diagonal windows, exist almost exclusively in Vermont. The name comes from the superstition that witches cannot fly their broomsticks through slanted windows."
Margaery Tyrell: we need to ask Gooper why he's trying to keep Sonia out of his house
Ven: Because the man desperately needs his chocolate to stay reasonable in the face of personalities like me, Del, and CW all flaring in the same space.
Ven: He can't afford to give it to Sonia.
Margaery Tyrell: "before Vermont became a state they tried to become part of Quebec, but Quebec refused so Vermont joined the United States instead."
Margaery Tyrell: Gooper's not only keeping witches out of his house, but he tried to join Canada! D:<
Gooper Blooper: I can't spare enough chocolate for Sonia to match what Lily gives her
Gooper Blooper: she's welcome to visit though, I don't think this house has any witch windows
Draco: Which windows?
Draco: ;D
Gooper Blooper: WHICH WINDOW IS WHICH

---

Jumpropeman: so back in 2004 it was coming up on the presidential election, and George W. Bush was going up against John Kerry
Jumpropeman: As people started looking into John Kerry's life a bit more, people and the media realized he was married to the lady who was heiress to Heinz ketchup
2Goopy: Oh god I forgot about the ketchup thing
Jumpropeman: suddenly, Republicans lost their shit over Heinz ketchup, saying it was leftist and refusing to buy it
2Goopy: GODDAMN LIBERAL KETCHUP
Deleton Warriors: Lol
Deleton Warriors: Ketchup
Jumpropeman: so instead, they created their own ketchup, and called it W
Jumpropeman: look at the back of it too
Jumpropeman: it is so freaking American and try-hard
Jumpropeman: BE A PATRIOT AND HAVE OUR KETCHUP
RubyChao: even general cleft would be like "woah, slow down there"
Deleton Warriors: Ameriketchup
Deleton Warriors: Fuck yeah?
2Goopy: DID WE MENTION IT'S MADE IN AMERICA
Jumpropeman: from their website: W Ketchup was launched on June 14, 2004, nine days after President Ronald Reagan died at age 93. We thank President Reagan for his selfless service to this nation.
Reagan won the Cold War, let private enterprise flourish, and most of all made Americans proud to be Americans again.
“We look for that fine day when we will see him again, all weariness gone, clear of mind, strong and sure and smiling again, and the sorrow of this parting gone forever. May God bless Ronald Reagan and the country he loved.”
Jumpropeman: its basically all anti-heinz
Deleton Warriors: Heinz is British tho
Deleton Warriors: And we all fascist
Jumpropeman: "My 6 yr old grandson says, "No Way" to Hunts which I switched to over Heinz for obvious reasons."
Jumpropeman: obvious reasons
Deleton Warriors: The right wing should love heinz

---

ivel: Aeronaut: oh god it's happened
-Aeronaut: It finally happened
-Aeronaut: I found a giant internet picture that's just a huge collection of physics formulas and thought "Neat, I should save this for reference"
-Aeronaut: Went to save it under the name "PHYSICS" because I'm good at naming images
-Aeronaut: "There is already an image with this name"
-Aeronaut: "Wait what"
-Aeronaut: It's this same image. It's already on my harddrive.
-ivel: XD
-Aeronaut: WHEN
Gooper Blooper: Poor Aeronaut is japed again
Gooper Blooper: this time by himself

---

Mr. Tumnus: Diary of a Gengar, Diary of a Dragonite Warrior, Dragonite of a Fiery Charizard...
Mr. Tumnus: there are tons of these
Maudlin Sheep: I didn't realise there were so many pokemon compelled to record their private thoughts
Mr. Tumnus: oh my
Mr. Tumnus: I have to post this entire paragraph its so good
Mr. Tumnus: "Entry Seven Dear Diary, It’s just so weird that I would happen to find this diary again. I had buried it in this exact spot almost a year ago. I had thought that maybe it would be at least a few years before I came back here again, but… SURPRISE! I’m back here in less than a year. Maybe after this entry, I wouldn’t even come back to this spot anymore, maybe someone else would discover this exciting diary instead? If that were the case, I think it be best if I gave some background information on myself and perhaps turn this into something interesting. (I doubt anyone would want to read a boring diary anyways). So the introduction… After this entry, there are a total of six other entries about my entire life. Basically, I wrote about everything that had happened to me from the very beginning. So what is the beginning? Well, to start off… My name is Gengar. I’m sure everyone knows me as the purple ghost with red eyes that is perpetually smiling and you’d probably even find me a little scary. My real name is Gen ‘The 150,000 ‘gar. Truthfully, this probably isn’t even accurate anymore. I call myself that because there are so many Gengars in the world. I’m just one of many and for some reason we ALL happen to have the same name, which just makes me less of an individual and so I decided to give myself a different name… "
Mr. Tumnus changed name to Gen ‘The 150,000 ‘gar
RubyChao: GEN THE 150,000 GAR
Gooper Blooper: IT'S CRAIG
Maudlin Sheep: >​Gen ‘The 150,000 ‘gar
Maudlin Sheep: I
Maudlin Sheep: what
Gooper Blooper: Too bad I didn't know about this guy for the Codd Branford battle
thanksgivel: lel
Gen ‘The 150,000 ‘gar: a lot of these diary entries read like Edutainment animals introducing themselves
Gen ‘The 150,000 ‘gar: " Zzzzzzz… I love sleeping! What else would you expect from a Snorlax? There’s nothing better than finding a nice, soft grassy spot in a beautiful green field and just napping the hours away. I’m starting to yawn just thinking about it… Sometimes I get in the way because I fall asleep in the wrong places. I’ve been known to block off entire roads because I fell asleep in the middle of the street. I’m a pretty big Pokémon, so I can really be quite a nuisance. I’m a pretty heavy sleeper too -- once I’m asleep, it’s not easy to wake me up again. The longest I’ve ever slept was one full week."
Gen ‘The 150,000 ‘gar: so Gooper, what would you rather have for Christmas: Diary of a Snorlax, or Diary of a Sleepy Snorlax
Gen ‘The 150,000 ‘gar: because both exist
Gooper Blooper: Prediction - Diary of a Sleepy Snorlax is the same book, but with "Zzzzzzz" randomly added to various sentences
Gen ‘The 150,000 ‘gar: "In this book, you will meet Charlie, a female charizard (which is rare!) who has to win the Pokemon Showcase tournament for her trainer, Marina. Join the adventures of the fiery charizard on her way to mega evolution! Is Charizard really different from us? You'll be surprised at what you discover"
Gooper Blooper: Can we just reiterate that Amazon is letting people sell their fanfics
Gen ‘The 150,000 ‘gar: "In this book, you will meet a special Munchlax who has evolved into a gigantic sleepy snorlax. Join the adventures of Berry the Sleepy Snorlax to unleash his high-powered Z-moves -- Pulverizing Pancake. Is Snorlax really different from us? You'll be surprised at what you discover"
Gooper Blooper: I mean we knew after the Rock Bull Incident that they had no standards but damn
Gen ‘The 150,000 ‘gar: these books have a lot of surprising things for me to discover
Gen ‘The 150,000 ‘gar: I'm a bit disappointed the Diary of a Pokémon Trainer doesn't have the line "Is Pokémon Trainer really different from us? You'll be surprised at what you discover"

---

Pregnant Gnat Tried To Kill Me: "Mr. Tumnus: also apparently, there was a Mortal Kombat tv series in the 90s"
Pregnant Gnat Tried To Kill Me: There was!
Pregnant Gnat Tried To Kill Me: The last episode of Season 1 had Shao Kahn seemingly going "Enough of this." and unleashing these invincible shadow warriors we'd never seen and heard of before
Pregnant Gnat Tried To Kill Me: And while he and Raiden had a chat on a smokey blank set, they went and killed everyone
RubyChao: oh wow
Pregnant Gnat Tried To Kill Me: Literally everyone, every single named character
RubyChao: so does shao khan just win
Pregnant Gnat Tried To Kill Me: The idea was that when Season 2 began, it would be revealed this was a sort of nightmare premonition and hence the writers could decide who actually lived and died
Pregnant Gnat Tried To Kill Me: ....except the show got cancelled
Jumpropeman: top quality writing
Pregnant Gnat Tried To Kill Me: So it ended with the villain KILLING ALL THE HEROES AND WINNING
RubyChao: nice
Pregnant Gnat Tried To Kill Me: They had to explain it in the official MK timeline since the show was canon then
Pregnant Gnat Tried To Kill Me: And they couldn't have all the named characters dead because some of them were still around when the games started
Pregnant Gnat Tried To Kill Me: So they put in a line about how "The Elder Gods were enraged at Shao Kahn's overreach, so they turned back time and put everyone back. And then they decided they didn't want this to happen again so they put all the characters back where they had been at the start and wiped their memories."
Pregnant Gnat Tried To Kill Me: So the whole show ended up negated

---

Dark Annie: So there was a SNES game Tiny Toon Adventures, Buster Busts Loose.
Dark Annie: Now, considering the source material, you'd probably assume lots of young kids would play it
Dark Annie: And hence it should have an easy mode, which it did
Dark Annie: But as I was recently reviewing it, the Easy Mode is....strangely insulting
Dark Annie: If you play on Easy, some of the changes are obvious. You have more life, more lives, and one of your moves does damage that doesn't do damage if you play on any other mode
Dark Annie: So you get to the end of the first level on Easy and....you don't fight the boss
Dark Annie: You just go to the next level
Dark Annie: You get to a point where a villain has stolen a bunch of stuff, you chase him offscreen and...the level ends and you go to the next one
Dark Annie: So the guy got away with the stuff he stole
Dark Annie: Level 3. You get to the end...and don't get to fight the boss.
Gooper Blooper: Of course I'm just thinking of the Genesis Tiny Toons game, which had a brutally difficult final world
Bed Cozy: look, man, bosses are so hard to reprogram to make them EASIER
Bed Cozy: why can't we just
Dark Annie: Level 4 is different. You're in a football game. You have to get the ball across the line while dodging enemy players
Bed Cozy: exclude them
Dark Annie: ....except on Easy where Buster is just thrown the ball and runs across the whole field without opposition
Gooper Blooper: hahahahaha
Gooper Blooper: I was just about to guess
Dark Annie: It's a cutscene. The game basically says "You cannot do this so we're doing it."
Bed Cozy: the game just plays itself!
Dark Annie: Next level is a level with balloons with lots of jumps
Bed Cozy: ITS JUST ONE BALLOON
Dark Annie: ....that the game decides will be too hard so it just SKIPS THE LEVEL COMPLETELY
Bed Cozy: AND JUST ONE JUMP RIGHT
Gooper Blooper: you ride a hot air balloon- HAW
Bed Cozy: NOT EVEN ONE
Dark Annie: And you go right to the last level.
Bed Cozy: buster can't jump
Draco: This game's Easy Mode sounds like a douche.
Dark Annie: The last level, you play through half the level and...
Bed Cozy: you suddenly stop existing
Bed Cozy: and start playing a good game in another dimension
Draco: All the bosses you missed appear and attack at once.
Dark Annie: Okay. I get why this game has an Easy Mode. Now what do you think you should do for anyone who beats the game on it? Give them a small bit of congratulations maybe?
Bed Cozy: i knew tetris attack was a great idea
RubyChao: flip them off
Dark Annie: I mean they're probably a very young kid. A little bit of niceness seems logical
Gooper Blooper: Well, if I know these games like I think I do
Dark Annie: Instead....the credits just start rolling.
Gooper Blooper: it might be a black screen that says TRY AGAIN
Gooper Blooper: or that
Bed Cozy: congrats you did like
Dark Annie: You run into what would take you to the next part of the level on any other mode
Bed Cozy: 10% of the game
Dark Annie: Screen goes black, credits start to roll
Gooper Blooper: buster didn't bust loose at all
Gooper Blooper: he was quite restrained, thank you

---

RubyChao: oh man i just remembered part of a dream i had
RubyChao: where we were following this pretty generally cool young guy, and it ended with him proposing to a girl
RubyChao: and it was revealed the guy was
RubyChao: ​Ken Penders
SteelKomodo: ​FUCKING HELL
SteelKomodo: ​TWILIGHT ZONE MOTHERFUCKERS

---

M Sheep: "Twelve, and one on the bench! They did it, Jim! They can count!" "Truly, today is the finest day in the history of our sport. Isn't that right, ref?"
RubyChao: oh man
RubyChao: this one is great
M Sheep: DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES?!
M Sheep: YES!!!
M Sheep: The Kobber's true victory, before the match even starts
M Sheep: >​The Kobbers' even 11-player formation is ruined, as Hecatia just outright splits into three people to avoid being stabbed.
M Sheep: ...
M Sheep: ​CHAAAAAAAOOOOOOO​
M Sheep shakes fist in front of face
RubyChao: hehehehehehehehehehe

---

RubyChao: va va voom
Draco: XD
Inspector Cramer: Darth Voluptuous

---

Orrie Cather: funnily enough, despite my position being eliminated soon, they really gussied up the office and turned the desk back to facing people instead of away
Gooper Blooper: they're gonna sit the robot at the desk and he'll wave at everyone
RubyChao: well hey, Robot was designed for that, after all
Orrie Cather: ive been RPing machines that help old people
Orrie Cather: and now one takes my job
Orrie Cather: not sure if that's irony

---

Jumpropeman: night harp
Jumpropeman: feel better son
Jumpropeman: harpy, my son
Baking Cupcakes: thanks dad
Jumpropeman: everything the light touches is our kingdom
RubyChao: but what's that shadowy part
Gooper Blooper: That's Imageshack
Gooper Blooper: you must never go there
RubyChao gags reflexively
Jumpropeman: and then the plot of lion king was prevented by bad image hosting services
Jumpropeman: simba would rather use tinypic than try and get imageshack working
Draco ded laughing.

---

Mulling Sheep: "Mr. Yotam, if I may be so bold,"
Mulling Sheep: Parsee hooks her thumbs under her suspenders, stating that she's "A simple, southern paru paru."
Brandon Chitter: oh god
Mulling Sheep: "but from what little I understand of the Eckhart Device - I went to that museum too. Really nice folks there."
Mulling Sheep: Wait
Mulling Sheep: What museum did you go to?
Mulling Sheep: and find NICE people???
Mulling Sheep: Are you sure you went to the right museum?
Mulling Sheep rude, antlered archivists awaaaaay
Draco: The same museum that misspelled Ekehart Device, I guess.
Mulling Sheep: "She's playing you for a fool; trot out a nice story about wanting to help mutants and all YOU have to do is let their horror machine eat you! Everyone wins, right?"
Mulling Sheep: Everyone wins, right?
Mulling Sheep: "I'm just a man,"
Mulling Sheep: Yotam proceeds to reveal he's also wearing suspenders in preparation of his Simple Iranian Mineral Mutant defense

---

RubyChao: "A few months back I brashly sold my N64 and my SNES at a yard sale my family was holding. Avarice and arrogance were brought to me by my discovery of emulators. In my eyes, their ability to deliver classic games in unlimited quantity at no cost was second to none. I don’t remember much about that yard sale, but the family whom I sold it to left a distinct memory in my mind."
RubyChao: i love how ridiculous that second sentence is
SteelKomodo: jesus christ it's pretentious
RubyChao: "Donkey Kong was splitting Luigi’s skull in half with a buzz saw, as opposed to hoisting up a green shell. The look on his face wasn’t one of mischief either. It was one of pure bloodlust, of sick elation from being the orchestrator of such chaos and carnage."

---

Gooper Blooper: For reasons I still cannot fathom, I came across Mars Of Destruction while looking at the KYM entry for QUALITY and watched the entire thing
RubyChao: did you like it
Dr. McNinja: "Rating: 2.4/10 - ‎20,182 votes"
Dr. McNinja: that is very harsh, especially for an anime
Gooper Blooper: It was... a thing, I guess
Gooper Blooper: Poor animation, bad pacing, dumb plot that rips off GET IN THE ROBOT, and public domain classical music
Gooper Blooper: the climactic final battle is scored to ​the barber of seville​
RubyChao: beautiful
RubyChao: "Early on, one of the girls gets her head blown off by one of the attacks from the Ancients. The fact that they have to go to a hospital to confirm that she's dead"
RubyChao: guys i'm not sure that actually killed her
RubyChao: let's go check!!!
M Sheep: ​Lefty is in Mars of Destruction?​
RubyChao: ​that's exactly what I thought of, lel

---

Famine: i have a question
Famine: who is this mister bigglesworth and why were you trying to appeal to him
Famine: i doubt its an Austin Powers/WoW reference, which is the only place I know the name from :V
lange schlafen: It's a random shmuck name such as I often use when I have no titles in mind and want a silly thing to distract from empty space. Which is mostly all the time, unless I just describe the piece as Collab With Brine or something it is, but that is not by any means a functional title. =y Sometimes I do that ​while​ putting up the meaningless silly thing, too, honestly.
Famine: darn, so he's not the final boss
lange schlafen: I am notoriously bad at titles and at continuing long works. :f Or going back to them. RP is different; it's a series of short to medium bursts over time interspersed with and answering to other people's writing to build on. On my lonesome or with a few partners, I can make something that seeeems like a long collaboration to a TLDR, but it's usually just a couple pages. Nothing nearly novel length. Without a partner, I usually get to about ten before my stamina is just utterly gone.
lange schlafen shakes head
lange schlafen: Mister Bigglesworth is not the final boss.
Gooper Blooper: If Bigglesworth isn't a goofy monopoly man with a bubble pipe who says "I say!" a lot and he doesn't appear to "consider" our three intrepid adventurers, it will have been a missed opportunity
Famine: considering our group is basically a band of performers at the moment, this is a possibility
lange schlafen: Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm~
HMM.
RubyChao: i approve of this idea

---

Draco: Someone at the library served me up a sick burn that made me laugh a bunch. We were talking about my long-distance relationship and I said we hadn't seen each other for awhile, so my co-volunteer Carol said "That must be why you're still together." It was delivered so perfectly too. I sat there a moment going "Did she really just...? SHE DID. *insert laughter here*"
Action Bree: lel
Mortar Sheep: That's a spicy burn
Draco: This nice lady, probably my mother's age, we get along great, and she just out of nowhere drops the sickest burn and I loved it.
Blessed Character: OOOOH
Blessed Character: that's a spicy meatball
Blessed Character: it made ivel laugh a bunch so i think she's on to something D:
Blessed Character: I'M SCARE
Draco: It's okay, Harpy. You have your spicy meatball with you to laugh at me with me. ;3
Jumpropeman: you guys can laugh?
Jumpropeman: I thought you all just made the "kek" noise
Jumpropeman: I just imagined chatzy like a circle of frogs on lilypads
Blessed Character: kekekekekekekekekekekeke​k
Jumpropeman: everyone keking in approval
Gooper Blooper: See, that's funny
Gooper Blooper: and of course my first instinct was to reply with just "kek"
Jumpropeman: embrace your inner frog

---

Bree: PhoneDel: Presumably anywhere the Kobbers moves to prepares an abandoned warehouse district specifically for this purpose
Bree: someone should reference this if they decide to host a plot in an abandoned warehouse district
Bree: "why does this island have an abandoned warehouse district" "they made one specifically because kobber villains like abandoned warehouse districts. it deters them from destroying other, more valuable areas of the island"
Gooper Blooper: Clearly one of the islands is nothing but abandoned warehouses for several square miles
Gooper Blooper: We can do all our kaiju fights there
Bree: just imagine ZF Corp dropping mad cash to construct a whole bunch of PRE-ABANDONED WAREHOUSES
Bree: pre-abandoned warehouses are like pre-distressed jeans
Bree: except they're warehouses
Bree: they are literally constructed in their dilapidated, dusty state
Bree: construction men in orange vests carefully hanging spiderwebs from the ceiling etc
Gooper Blooper: If they don't look abandoned it won't work!

---

Calliope: *clicks Kishin Sagume tag*
Calliope: so what is the deal with the hand over the mouth thing, because she's even doing it in the porn

---

RubyChao: "Wiley Brooks later claimed that Diet Coke and McDonald's cheeseburgers have special "5D" properties. The idea of separate but interconnected 5D and 3D worlds is a major part of Wiley Brooks' ideology, and Wiley Brooks encourages his followers to only eat these special 5D foods, as well as meditate on a set of magical 5D words."
RubyChao: five-dimensional cheeseburgers
Bree: ONLY EAT MCDONALDS AND DRINK DIET COKE FOREVER FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE
Superman: got it
Bree: great plan, think I'll follow it myself!

---

Workropeman: the people who leave reviews on Gamefly are brutal
Workropeman: so many games get 1-2 stars out of 10
Workropeman: i think people just get pissy if they can't rent it or it looks bad since there seems to be no vetting process for sorting out people who have played the game
Gooper Blooper: if they get a game over, that's a paddlin
Gooper Blooper: if the disc has scuffs, that's a paddlin
Gooper Blooper: no DLC codes? You better believe that's a paddlin

---

Off-RubyChao: for jrm
Gooper Blooper: >​Esoteric Entertainment
ivel: lel
Off-RubyChao: sumi plays it up until she gets jumpscared
Jumpropeman: is this gorilla slender
Off-RubyChao: yes
Jumpropeman: what a brave new world, to have such creations in it

---

Cornwind Evil: While I won't do it in Season 7
Cornwind Evil: Season 8 might see a new VEW. Or perhaps the Kuwahawi Extreme Wrestling League
Gooper Blooper: >​KEWL
Gooper Blooper: that acronym
Cornwind Evil: With a name like that
Cornwind Evil: I have to do it

---

Jumpropeman: "In a 1996 USA Today article, Washington State zoologist John Crane said, "There is no such thing as Bigfoot. No data other than material that's clearly been fabricated has ever been presented.""
Jumpropeman: I hope John Crane did his best Richard Nixon voice when he said this
Gooper Blooper: He forgot to do the Nixon- 2slow
Jumpropeman: "Bigfoot has had a demonstrable impact as a popular culture phenomenon. It has "become entrenched in American popular culture and it is as viable an icon as Michael Jordan""
Jumpropeman: Bigfoot vs. Michael Jordan
Jumpropeman: make it happen folks
Gooper Blooper: fite yer mates

---

Gooper Blooper: "Raise your hand if you’ve adopted a unappreciated character that the writers clearly didn’t love and decided to love them with all your heart because they deserve more than what they fucking got in canon."
Gooper Blooper: ZFRP
ivel: yup
Draco raises a hand and an elf.
Gooper Blooper: parsee was ahead of the elf curve and she's not even an elf
Draco: She wrote some essays on how to assist Santa's helpers. She called it an Elf-Help book. ;p
ivel: booo
ivel: :I
Gooper Blooper: I chortled
Draco: What do you say to your SO when it sprinkles at the North Pole? "Looks like rain, dear."
ivel: I heard a much longer version of that joke before
ivel: so I appreciate the shorter version
Draco: The longer version I've heard involves a Norwegian visiting Russia.
ivel: that was it
Draco: What does Santa do in his garden? Hoe hoe hoe.
Draco: I think I'm out of Christmas puns.

---

SteelKomodo: i have a story for you guys!
SteelKomodo: who wants to hear about how a game developer got told to fuck off?
B.C.: Me!
SteelKomodo: alright, so context
SteelKomodo: it's 2001, and Sega's announcing that they're leaving the console business because the dreamcast flopped so bad
SteelKomodo: which means they now have to buddy up with the people they used to compete against
SteelKomodo: Peter Moore, head of Sega of America, was in talks with Microsoft, who wanted some games for the XBox because that was gonna launch soon
SteelKomodo: but he was having a hard time convincing Sega of Japan to do this, because they weren't in time with the changing trends or something
SteelKomodo: so around 2001-2002, SoA conducted a survey of 18-19 year olds on what they thought of gaming companies like Sega, and the results weren't that great
SteelKomodo: Moore then flies over to Japan and presents his findings to Sega of Japan, and in the room is Yuji Naka
SteelKomodo: Moore and Naka were said to have a love-hate relationship... on a good day
SteelKomodo: and Naka got pissed at the presentation and claimed that Moore had falsified his evidence
SteelKomodo: at which point, Moore turned to his translater and said, and this is a direct quote
SteelKomodo: "Tell him to fuck off."
SteelKomodo: And that was how Moore eventually left Sega
Brave Caterer: nice
Stupid Steampunk Hitler: Moore gets his negotiation tactics from Dr Robotnik i see

---

RubyChao: "Something is terribly wrong. It was incredibly obvious to me now that Shigeru Miyamoto had gone mad with power. His God complex knows no bounds and the only thing I knew for certain was that he must be stopped."

---

Phone: Can't imagine King Knight's mein kampf is going to sell any better, but maybe the gold filigree will attract more readers this time?
RubyChao: king knight's mein kampf is just page after page of king knight in various manly poses
RubyChao: that's the entire book
Cornwind Evil: Dawn: -reading it- I don't see how this is a struggle...
RubyChao: because it hurts to be this hip manly
RubyChao: every day is a struggle as king knight attempts to contain his unrivaled manliness, lest all around him lose their will to live because they'll never measure up to him
Jumpropeman: did you know there is a mein kampf 2
Jumpropeman: the first one didn't sell well, and Hitler wrote a second one but his publisher said "don't publish it, it will just make Mein Kampf sell worse"
Jumpropeman: the book is called Zweites Buch
Jumpropeman: literally Second Book

---

RubyChao: i might try doing setup at 5:30 if possible
Bree: I hope the setup involves chiharu cartwheeling into the bar
Bree: don't ask me why this came to my mind, it just did
RubyChao: cartwheeling into the bar and kicking someone in the face by accident
Bree: hina
Bree: I volunteer hina to be kicked in the face by a kappa
Jumpropeman: KO
RubyChao rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 18
RubyChao: roll against to see how well hina takes it
Bree rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 1
Bree: you killed her
Bree: chiharu is a murderer
RubyChao: i can't believe hina kagiyama is fucking dead
Bree: chiharu goes to jail forever, mitsuo has to settle for conjugal visits for the rest of their lives

---

Bree: "meiling, what are your plans to save kawashiro" *picture of nitori's rear* *picture of IDK MITSUO's rear*
Bree: chiharu: "I think it's a great plan!"
Draco: Chiharu pls
Bree: there's a reason chiharu and meiling are bes frands
Bree: (the reason is they're goofballs)

---

Miserable Sheep: "I’m Codd Branford. 74 Years old. But i am a Goujin. A special Human race that brings me Eternal youth, and if i eat a 'VEGAfruit' i can gain another life. Like videogames, I can respawn if i die. Today i got 18 Lives. Thanks to my Eternal youth, i got a 25 Years old body and smartness."
Miserable Sheep: ...
KappaChao: rip sheep
Miserable Sheep uninstalls internet
KappaChao: i think ya broke him, goops
KappaChao: OFF TO THE JAVALINA FARMS
ivel: rip sheep
Return of Bad End: Take him to the Javelin farm. We grow trees for ideal sports spears there. And throw them at javalinas.
Gooper Blooper: Sheep finally makes it to my greatest battle sequence of 2016
Miserable Sheep: >ANIME RULES: BE AS ANIME AS POSSIBLE
Miserable Sheep: I'm gonna need a yardstick, a helicopter blade, and a whole lotta hair gel
Gooper Blooper: BUT KENAN WHERE AM I GONNA GET A HELICOPTER BLADE

---

Cornwind Is Not A Crook: Anyway while I was sleeping I had a dream with you guys
Cornwind Is Not A Crook: Well, mainly JRM
SteelKomodo: oh?
Cornwind Is Not A Crook: From what I remember, somehow/for some reason not only did JRM's sisters contribute characters to the Brawl, but so did his parents
Cornwind Is Not A Crook: And all their characters decided to join the Dangerous Alliance
Cornwind Is Not A Crook: And JRM was accusing me of bribing them
Cornwind Is Not A Crook: I think his claim was "OUR PAPER TOWELS ARE NEVER THIS NICE." or something
Cornwind Is Not A Crook: Also JRM's dad was entering the Flying Nun
Cornwind Is Not A Crook: ....that's all I remember
SteelKomodo: That sounds like a JRM character, alright :P
Cornwind Is Not A Crook: So, yeah....between that dream and some people talking about it, I'll be fine if 2/3 characters join with Dawn this year, it'll be enough.
Cornwind Is Not A Crook: If 3 join, they can change their name to the Four Horsemen
Cornwind Is Not A Crook: And then every future year I can change their name to OTHER wrestling stables
Cornwind Is Not A Crook: If Mario joins next year they'll be the Dungeon of Doom
Cornwind Is Not A Crook: Because THE YET-TAY! THE YET-TAY! THE YET-TAY! THE YET-TAY!
SteelKomodo: hahaha

---

KappaChao: Mizuki vs. Leichter is go
KappaChao: HE'S THE LAST MEMBER OF THE BIG FIVE CREW
KappaChao: CAN PICK UP A CONTRACT WITH RELATIVE EASE, MAKES SEALING DEALS LOOK LIKE SUCH A BREEZE
Beach Cookout: I HOPE WE DON'T FIGHT VERA, PLEASE DON'T LET US FIGHT VERA
Beach Cookout: I WANT TO LOVE VERA

(We fought Vera, she was very evil)

---

HYPE METEOR: "When struck by attacks, Big's bulk will cause most strikes to just bounce right off him, and he can in some cases, when giddy enough, not even feel the attacks at all, making Big nearly impossible to be taken down"
HYPE METEOR: This is not my Brawl entry
HYPE METEOR: This is his wiki page
GermanChao: amazing
HYPE METEOR: I do not know why the wiki insists Big is unstoppable
ivel: because he is
HYPE METEOR: "Level 3: Big pulls out his fishing rod and swings a large, burning metal mace with spikes around in a circle. Attack radius and damage is at maximum."
ivel: yup
HYPE METEOR: Why does the Sonic Wiki not have an organized list of Big the Cat's fighting techniques
HYPE METEOR: I have to go on like every page to dig this shit up
HYPE METEOR: Also why is Big the Fucking Cat looking like my strongest entry this competition
Draco: Big the Cat for Godbeast '17.
ivel: you brought it upon yourself
ivel: this is what you get when you use 21s on Big
HYPE METEOR: I mean, sure, Bob is disgustingly broken at football. But Big is apparently running on godmode

---

SteelKomodo: i must now make an embarrassing announcement
SteelKomodo: i have come to understand the concept of inflation via Scrooge McDuck
SteelKomodo: i have needed a children's cartoon to explain economics to me
Jumpropeman: my brother-in-law explained bullet drop-off to me yesterday with some legos
Jumpropeman: knowledge comes from strange places
SteelKomodo: indeed

---

Draco: One day, Youmu and Yamame will Fite over who gets to be Yams.
Gooper Blooper: we worked that out
Gooper Blooper: Yamame is Big Yams
Gooper Blooper: Youmu is Little Yams
Draco: Ah.
Bree: does that mean yamame is youmu's mom
Draco: Sure.
DMG: I think that's exactly what it means
Draco: She's Youmu's Yamommy.
F҉O҉R҉M҉E҉R҉V҉E҉N҉G҉E҉A҉N҉C҉E҉: *as stereotypical Godfather era gangster- But which Yams has gams?
Draco: That'd be Yamame.

---

Jumpropeman: listening to a podcast: "I'm gonna make a bold prediction right now: Metroid Prime 4 will be out before both the FF7 remake and Kingdom Hearts 3" everyone responds with "Definitely"
Jumpropeman: "We're never going to be talking about Kingdom Hearts 3 on this show, it's gonna be our grandchildren"
Gooper Blooper: they can't make kingdom hearts 3 right now, first they have to make Kingdom Hearts 2/9748 Super Halfpipe Remix
Gooper Blooper: It's pronounced Kingdom Hearts Sheena Cosheena
Jumpropeman: fantastic

---

AmericanChao rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 5
AmericanChao rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 2
AmericanChao: god, miu, you suck at this
AmericanChao: but i know just how to roll with this
Gooper Blooper: What is with all the pre-brawl fite clubs me and chao are doing being hilariously one-sided
Gooper Blooper: Hecatia and Cuckster breezed through theirs, too
Gooper Blooper: ...that is an unfortunate typo
ivel: ahahaha
Buddy Catte: cuckster
Buddy Catte: cuckster
Buddy Catte: cuckster
Gooper Blooper: HE'S A CUCKSTER
ivel: HE CUCKS
Buddy Catte: i almost choked on a coke
AmericanChao: GOOPY PLS
Gooper Blooper: don't choke a coke when you chuckle at the cuckle
Draco: Chokester
AmericanChao: "being a cuckold is-" "I'M A CUCKSTER!" *hurls the husband through the roof*
Gooper Blooper: >Chokester
Gooper Blooper: well, we know what to call him if he places bottom five
Gooper Blooper: "I'M A CHOKESTER!" *dies*
Buddy Catte: NO
ivel: rip Chuckster. If only Aero had signed up to vote...
ivel: ;;

---

RubyChao: votes up
Margleblargh Sheep distant wail heard in the distance
RubyChao delights in Sheeps' suffering
Jumpropeman: #YearoftheDeer

---

Mixing Sheep: So, how about that small town sports team?
Mixing Sheep: I hear they're having some real trouble with that other small town sports team
Big Cooler: well they just traded their star players away
FloridaChao: WELL MAYBE THEY WOULDN'T HAVE TROUBLE IF THEY WEREN'T SHIT
Big Cooler: Chao
DMG: holy shit
Big Cooler: are you channeling your inner Duer
Mixing Sheep: YOU TAKE THAT BACK, YOU SONNUVA SUBMARINER

---

Gooper Blooper: Goopsmom knows the Brawl is tonight
Gooper Blooper: "Is that nostalgia girl in there?" "Yeah" "What's her name again?" "Dolby" "Dolby's gonna win"
Bree: did you tell goopsmom that this brawl has a breemom character
Gooper Blooper: I did and she was super jealous
Pierce the Ivel: lel goopsmom
Cornwind Evil: (Dolby suddenly a fat plumber in yellow. "IMMA DOLBY. IMMA GONNA WEEN.")
Gooper Blooper: "Dolby didn't get that many votes" "IT'S RIGGED"

---


Hjorkbnr: The initial plan, if there weren't changes, was also to visit JRM Tuesday for hugs-and-noogies.
RubyChao: but you'll miss DA DON OF UNTIMELY DEATH have fun!
Hjorkbnr: NO!
CANCEL EVERYTHING, JRM
I'VE WAITED YEARS TO MEET DA DON OF UNTIMELY DEATH

---

Best Chum: the wedding prolly won't be too big of an event
Best Chum: and it won't happen anytime soon
Bree: is it going to be this season
Best Chum: Mmmm, probably? I do wanna play out some minor stuff regarding the wedding plans and all for funsies
Best Chum: i don't want to make too big a deal out of it, though?
Jumpropeman: I'll make sure to send all of Dia's closest friends: Bluez, Tree Spy, and Evinrude
Gooper Blooper: Don't forget Wenceslas The Younger
Jumpropeman: oh yeah, he's definitely handing her off at the wedding
Jumpropeman: he's like a father to her
RubyChao: wenceslas the younger returns and is killed off
RubyChao: it's the most dramatic thing ever
RubyChao: dia cries for weeks

---

Bree: goops I have a dumb question
Gooper Blooper: sup
Bree: can any of the nostalgiakin eat besides dolby
Bree: like, real food
Gooper Blooper: No
Bree: okay because I was browsing tumblr posts about food related nostalgia
Bree: and I got this mental image of like
Bree: zenith can't eat but now dolby can eat
ivelanky: not even the food nostalgia elemental can eat
Bree: so he's just constantly making dolby eat nostalgia foods
ivelanky: it's sad
RubyChao: he's not food nostalgia tho
RubyChao: he's old commercials nostalgia
ivelanky: old food commercials? :U
RubyChao: yes, it includes those
Gooper Blooper: I think Dolby mentioned last year, old food can actually power her to a limited extent if she sucks it in normally like a tape
Bree: "what're you having for dinner dolby" "oh I was thinking maybe a cheeseburg--" "DOLBY YOU KNOW IT'S KID CUISINE AND SPAGHETTIOS NIGHT"
ivelanky: lel
Gooper Blooper: She can have a burger if she wants, but it needs to be a discontinued one
Gooper Blooper: like the Arch Deluxe
ivelanky: Dolby just needs to be careful about how old that food is
ivelanky: :U
Gooper Blooper: which is mcdonalds trying and failing to be fancy
Beach Car: danimals.
Beach Car: *doesn't know anything*
Gooper Blooper: Since Dolby's a robot and both her sense of taste and entire digestive system are artificial, she could eat just about anything without ill effects
RubyChao: even
RubyChao: POISONOUS SNAKES?
Gooper Blooper: she'd make a great royal taste tester
Gooper Blooper: "yeah, this is poisoned" *stands there, completely fine*
Bree: can you imagine, like
Bree: zenith gives her a food from one of his favorite, most cherished old commercials
Bree: like something really, really close to his heart
Bree: and dolby tries it
Bree: there's this long silence
Bree: and she's like "...wow. this tastes like shit."
Bree: "why did people buy this?"
RubyChao: i'm imagining his tv screen head just cracking in sorrow

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