On the outskirts of Agama, in the quietest corner of the city, two space aliens tried their best to look inconspicuous as they walked off the street, into an alley, and behind a run-down old building that still had signs in the windows but certainly didn't look it was open for business any time recently. Some ne'er-do-well had spraypainted "TOURISTS SUCK" on the side of the building in red. The only sound was the burbling of one of the city's many canals as it ran behind the building, blocked off here by a fence put up to keep any refuse from falling in.
"Is this the place?" asked Baltan Seijin, more to himself than anything else as he took in his surroundings.
"Certainly looks like it." Kauket huffed in mild disgust at the run-down and dirty area as she crossed her arms. Her species was referred to as 'Flatwoods Monsters' by people of Earth. She resented being called a monster, but in the long run didn't really care that much. It had been 70 years since the day she'd acquired that moniker. A lifetime for a human, but not much for her. By the 80s or so she'd already gotten over it. "I still don't like this at all. Feels like a setup."
"Aw, c'mon! My ol' college buddy would never pull a fast one on me like that! He's a good egg."
"He's wanted in seven galaxies for questioning regarding the disappearance of my father's fortune."
"Would you buy that he's a mediocre egg?" Baltan offered. Kauket didn't dignify him with a response, instead flipping open a small communicator device and peering at it. The gadget worked similarly to an Earth smartphone, and could even link up to them, but the technology was very different. It ran on a powerful solar battery, and could communicate across vast distances, but Kauket was currently using it as a mere watch to check the time. As she suspected, she and Baltan were punctual. It was his friend who was late.
"Well, while we're waiting, can you finally tell me some more about this friend of yours? I don't care for how tight-lipped you've been."
"I can't spoil the surprise!" Baltan insisted. "You'll NEVER guess what species he is!" he added, in a tone that made very clear he was deeply hoping for Kauket to begin throwing out guesses. Tragically but predictably, she did no such thing.
"I don't care about his species, what about HIM? How close were you?"
"We shared a room in college! We were roomies for two years. We have a lot in common, except I guess he didn't think being a Space Hero was all that great if he's a Space Villain now..."
"Aren't you worried at all? He's literally calling himself a villain. What does that tell you?"
"It tells me he's lost his way and needs his old pal to set him straight, that's what!" Baltan put his claws on his hips and looked proud of himself... but then his arms dropped to his sides, and his voice lowered. "Kauket... I know you like to dismiss anyone who isn't seeing things your way, but give him a chance, okay? I'm worried about him."
Kauket blinked. She had never heard Baltan talk like that. Not once. Genuinely taken aback, she put a hand on her chest and was silent for a moment, listening to the canal as water gently flowed by on the other side of the chain-link fence. "...I see. So this is more important to you than I thought."
"Yes, it is. Let's hear him out. I might have turned out like he did without you to guide me, you know?"
Kauket was startled at this admission as well, though upon thinking about it, it made sense. She nodded slowly. "Right. We'll hear him out. Let's wait and see if he shows up."
They didn't have to wait long.
There was a heavy clanking noise in the distance that was steadily approaching. Something large was walking behind the buildings, keeping to the long shadows of the setting sun. Peering in the direction of the noise, Baltan took on a wary pose after catching sight of the thing lumbering their way. "That's not him." he said, pressing up against the building wall and steeling himself. Kauket quickly followed suit, watching the thing with concern.
It was a large robot, round in body but as tall as a man. It stomped forward on four heavy legs, leaving marks in the dirt, and its' single massive eye lit up the area in front of it like a gruesome headlight. Inconspicuous, it was not, but no one was in this part of town this late in the day, so it remained undetected by anyone save the alien duo.
The robot came close to Baltan and Kauket's position, then stopped. For a moment, Kauket wondered if maybe it hadn't seen them, before it quickly turned and looked directly at her. Kauket fumbled for her gravity gun, but the robot did not attack.
And then there was a voice, coming from right behind the robot. One that Baltan instantly recognized.
"Why did we stop? What troubles you, Shakernaut?"
"Nothing is troubling me at the moment." responded a surprisingly quiet but clearly synthesized voice, emanating from the hulking machine. "However, we have reached our destination. I appear to have found Baltan's companion."
"Oh! Is Baltan here too?"
"THAT'S ME! I'M BALTAN!" Baltan yelled, stepping out from cover and waving his claws. Kauket looked equal parts ready to kill Baltan and pray for him, remaining pressed against the building in a defensive position. Shakernaut, the big robot, swiveled its' eye to gaze at him. "Confirmed. Baltan is present."
"Well, of course he is, I can hear him! Baltan, long time no see!"
And at last, Baltan's college buddy stepped out from behind Shakernaut and approached, giving Kauket a full, clear look at him.
Like Baltan, he was a colorful bipedal alien with a somewhat human body plan but a highly differing head and hands. But while Baltan looked vaguely insectoid, this alien seemed more like some kind of cephalopod. His hands split into many stiff tendrils, and the yellow patches running down his massive head lit up in sequence as he laid eyes on his old friend.
"Metron!" Baltan cried happily, spreading his arms. "You're right, it's been TOO long! C'mere!"
"Oh, Baltan, you ol' so-and-so!"
The two aliens hugged, patting each other on the back. Kauket blinked a few times, then finally relaxed her posture. Metron looked over at her. "Well? Aren't you gonna introduce me?"
"Oh, right! This is Kauket, my best friend! Say hi, Kauket."
"...Hi." Kauket was still a bit wary, but seeing how similar Metron was to Baltan helped her relax.
"Good to meet you!" Metron walked over and offered a hand, and Kauket hesitantly accepted. "The name's Metron. I'm a wanted criminal!"
"That's... great." Kauket forced out.
"No, it's not!" Baltan interrupted, and Kauket flinched at the bandage being ripped off. "Metron, what are you doing? Why are you a criminal?"
"Well, I didn't plan on it, it just kinda happened!" Metron laughed. "I heard on the news that Qerh died and his fortune was in limbo, one thing led to another, here I am!"
"That skips a lot." Kauket pointed out.
"Well, you know, Qerh dies, news spreads, blah blah yadda yadda, wanted criminal."
"Still skipping."
"Look, the important part is I'm here now and I can't change it, so I'm making the most of it! If I'm gonna be wanted, I at least wanna do it right, right? So I used some of the fortune to get a hold of some cool robots to help me commit more Space Crimes! My pride and joy is Shakernaut here!"
"Greetings." Shakernaut said.
"Did you know Shakernaut has Wi-Fi? He gets better reception here than I expected."
"Metron, you know I'm a Space Hero, right?" Baltan asked. "I can't let Space Villains go free to do Space Villainy!"
"A Space Hero?" Metron mused over the thought. "Dang, guess that means we're competitors."
"It's a bit more serious than that!" Kauket interjected.
"But Metron... why here? Why did you come to Earth? The Kobbers are here! They'll beat you up bad, or worse!" Baltan pleaded. "C'mon, just turn yourself in, dude! Don't keep going this way!"
"What, just give up? I can't do that! I'm having too much fun!" Metron raised his arms jubilantly. "Besides, I had to come here."
"Had to?"
"Well, I wanted to do some Space Crimes, but I didn't know where to go or what to do. I needed a purpose in life. A goal! And would you believe it, I found one here on Earth! Shakernaut, if you would, please~"
"Yes, of course."
Shakernaut buzzed and whirred, and a small slot on the side of the machine ejected a small flat object. Metron reached over and pulled it out. A plastic baggie was wrapped tightly around a stiff and sturdy toploader, inside which was nestled a sleeved card.
A playing card.
"Check this puppy out. Super rare, one of a kind, new mint unplayed condition!"
A sudden new concern crept into Kauket's demeanor. She had heard enough of the Kobbers' exploits last year to immediately be suspicious of a strange playing card. Peering through the multiple layers of protective plastic, she looked at the card's front. It was decorated with four identical pictures of red Groucho Marx gag glasses, arranged in a square.
"I needed direction, and brother, that purple dude knew just the thing for me! He's doing something real cool with cards and powers, and it feels great being part of a team and making something happen! He said a criminal on the run like myself should take a blue card, but I was like 'well, what do the colors mean' and he said Blue was for deception and sneakiness, cuz I'm a crook on the run and all, but what fun is that? I wanted Red, for POWER! And he was a cool guy and let me take a Red, but it's still all sneaky! I'm just gonna have to make this power work for me, you know?"
"But, uh... what IS the power? What does the card do?" Kauket asked as Baltan peered closely at the card to see if it had any marks or scratches that would lower its' 'value'.
"I can't spoil the surprise!" Metron protested.
Kauket groaned. These two really WERE alike.
"Well, it's been fun catching up, but if you don't want to join the winning team, I guess this is where we gotta part ways, my man." Metron said to Baltan with a hint of regret.
Baltan looked down at the ground, wishing there was some way to convince Metron to stop but knowing he felt he was in too deep to quit now. It had always been this way for both of them: once they committed to something, they would keep trying until dogged determination won the day. Baltan had never thought such an obviously brilliant strategy could ever backfire, but here they were. "Metron... Don't say I didn't warn you, dude."
"Consider me warned!" Metron laughed. "Bring it on! It's no fun without a struggle, right? See you later, Space Hero! AHAHAHAHA!"
Still holding his card, Metron climbed atop Shakernaut and dabbed while the robot lumbered away. Baltan and Kauket watched them go until they vanished behind a building.
"Now what?" Baltan asked.
"We tell the Kobbers." Kauket answered, a hand on Baltan's shoulder. "This is trouble, but... not THAT much trouble, I guess? I'm pretty sure they'll steamroll the dude."
"Aw, geez, I hope he at least puts up a fight! I don't want my friend to be a jobber!"
"Baltan, whose side are you on?!"
"The side of Space Heroism! As if that was ever in doubt! But it's gotta stay interesting, right?"
"Believe me, I think 'staying interesting' is the least of your pal's worries."
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