MobileDraco shoves Chao out of the way and gets in his spaceship to go read Chatzy Madness.
---
Jumpropeman: "A girl shooting fruit PRO - Hunting apples, pears and other fruits, test your skill will be a fun confrontation. Do not fail or the game is over, you are the best hunter. Good Luck."
Jumpropeman: that's not the game's description
Jumpropeman: that's its' title
---
RubyChao: link
Del And Knuckles: amogus
MobileDraco: lol
MobileDraco: Kanade is looking pretty dess
---
Draco: The sequel to Pelswick RP.
Gooper Blooper: Peppa Pig?!
Jumpropeman: well
Jumpropeman: if gooper ever rps lucina
Jumpropeman: we know what to expect
Gooper Blooper: pig slayer
Jumpropeman: Peppa Pig's father... was the consumer
Jumpropeman: it's all coming together
Gooper Blooper: pig lore
Draco: Is Lucina's mom Tenshi?
Gooper Blooper: link
Gooper Blooper: link
---
Draco: Kind of a creepy Bravely Default 2 theory. When you cut down trees and bushes and grass and find stuff, who's to say there's not a pile of bones nearby? It's always stuff sold locally that you pick up too! You're grabbing that Glaive off of someone the goblins killed awhile back, Seth.
Gooper Blooper: m-maybe it just fell off the back of a caravan
Draco: Yeah, after a goblin killed the guy driving it.
---
RubyChao: world war 2 has been solved, with trains
Draco: Good job, Chao. You saved Hitler.
RubyChao: excuse you, i saved Stalin
RubyChao: and then he made me build a railroad across siberia
Gooper Blooper: They Saved Hitler's Train
(later)
RubyChao: *look at rt2*
RubyChao: ...motherFUCKER
RubyChao: look at the minimap
RubyChao: look at the name
RubyChao: this map is called The Dream
RubyChao: I literally never got it until right now.
Gooper Blooper: link
---
Gooper Blooper: we did talk about how GarfieldEATS shut down, but
Gooper Blooper: what I don't remember anyone pointing out was that the same guy has immediately replaced it with a new restaurant
negative energy: uh
negative energy: no i will NOT enter, thank you
Jumpropeman: whaaa
Gooper Blooper: "Entergage Inc. in partnership with Warner Bros. Consumer Products announces new healthy and delicious frozen foods inspired by the world’s most lovable Great Dane, Scooby-Doo, and will bring Scooby-Doo EATS to popular grocery stores throughout Canada. Scooby-Doo EATS will introduce three major products in the Canadian market – burgers, hotdogs and lasagna. Scooby-Doo EATS will source products from heritage breeds and traditional livestock breeds that do not require the use of added hormones, anti-biotics, or growth stimulants of any kinds. Fans and foodies can browse the first-ever Scooby-Doo food distribution and virtual shopping site to peruse the full line"
Gooper Blooper: Entergage Inc.
Jumpropeman: Scooby Doo eats still selling lasagna
negative energy: uhm.
negative energy: gonna...
Gooper Blooper: "Millennials are ready to experiment and invest on novel things unlike the generation before them."
Jumpropeman: "ScoobyEATS believes in family run farms and partnered with local farmers since 1902"
Gooper Blooper: Ha! Take THAT, Generation X!
negative energy: excuse me
Jumpropeman: ScoobyEATS has been around for a CENTURY
Jumpropeman: it predates scooby doo
negative energy: that's some bitch ass shit goin on
negative energy: lookin' kinda shady
negative energy: ain't my kinda baby
Draco: PFFFT
negative energy: stop playin games somethin
taishi civel: you can actually get a subscription for a food item
taishi civel: weekly or monthly
Gooper Blooper: "Millennials are tired of the same old brands"
Gooper Blooper: so let's use this brand that's older than any millennial
negative energy: i mean yes, but also you can pry my chicken and gnochi soup from olive garden out of my cold, dead hands.
RubyChao: to be fair
RubyChao: scooby doo is good at reinventing itself
Jumpropeman: "Meat never dies; Afterall, it is Scooby-Doo’s favorite."
Jumpropeman: ????
negative energy: i'm so confused
negative energy: isn't it cannibalism at this point?
Draco: Scooby Doo has experience reinventing itself, it's not always good. :V
negative energy: at the very least that ain't kosher nor halal
RubyChao: draco is more accurate
Jumpropeman: if ScoobyEATS has dog meat that would be wild
Jumpropeman: "We are serious about food and the vision of Scooby-Doo EATS is to stay and grow for 25 more years"
negative energy: well
negative energy: that's a lie
Jumpropeman: GarfieldEATS didn't even last five years let alone twentyfive
Gooper Blooper: https://entergage.ca/
Jumpropeman: "It is Scooby-Doo EATS perfect timing as it will also bring joy to the families."
negative energy: sir just say you're working on themed foods and call it a day
Jumpropeman: now this is just Engrish
taishi civel: I agree with Draco :U
Draco: Yeah, good luck Scooby-Doo EATS. You'll be back to marketing Kid Cuisine in no time.
negative energy: this feels like some mlm shit
RubyChao: now, now
RubyChao: while the store is dead
RubyChao: GARFIELDEATS THE BRAND IS ALIVE
negative energy: zombies.
Jumpropeman: please chao, I'm just gonna buy me a 45 dollar Scooby Doo EATS apron instead BI
Gooper Blooper: only 25 dollars for a garfield face mask
negative energy: that's why i say if anything they should be a revolving door "Classix Cartoons Meals"
negative energy: you'd have to pay mad money for royalties though.
Jumpropeman: I'm confused why they have a Garfield movie kids shirt available
Draco: "Entergage brings you the Hollywood magical experience & creates memories in the palm of your hands with your favorite cartoons from food to retail at your convenience." <- If Hollywood is a standard, then you'll be giving us the exact same bland experience as Garfield EATS except with a slightly new look.
Jumpropeman: like, the live action movie
Draco: I bet the pizzas are Scooby-shaped.
RubyChao: i mean, draco
Gooper Blooper: or he could go deeper and only use public domain cartoons
Jumpropeman: from 2004
RubyChao: that's what they look like
negative energy: eat like you want to experience life in the flintstones.
negative energy: I MEAN
negative energy: shit he could do it
negative energy: but then nobody would know and it wouldn't be BRAND RECOGNIZABLE
Jumpropeman: honestly, looking at the scooby doo food, it has nothing to do with scooby
Jumpropeman: not even trying
negative energy: bruh just give me a human-safe scooby snack
negative energy: put some extra weed in it too for good measure
Jumpropeman: scooby ate pizzas, sandwiches, and scooby snax mostly
Jumpropeman: but scooby snax is a brand already
negative energy: my bro would scarf those down like nothing
Jumpropeman: I think they made both human and dog Scooby Snacks treats so
Jumpropeman: be careful if you buy him some
negative energy: pizzas, which they already did with garfield
taishi civel: ^
negative energy: sandwiches, which is like... you have a lot of room to play around with because that could be literally anything
negative energy: you could even have a daily special
Jumpropeman: "Warner Bros. has licensed Scooby Snacks as both dog treats and multiple different snack foods. Vanilla wafers were packaged and sold as Scooby Snacks in Suncoast home video stores. Keebler has also introduced a line of baked graham cracker sticks shaped like cartoon bones. They come in cinnamon and honey flavors.
The official brand of dog treats is made by Snausages, a product of Del Monte Foods."
Draco: Yeah...burgers, lasagna, and hot dogs...I think I saw Scooby and Shaggy eats burgers and dogs, but I don't associate them with either.
negative energy: snausages.
negative energy: is a real name
negative energy: wow.
Draco: Yes, it is.
negative energy: burgers are sandwiches so i guess it counts.
Draco: So are hot dogs, I hear.
negative energy: like, come on, if you're going to use an old brand at least use what the character actually ate the most often
negative energy: i will come over there and beat his ass if he tries that whole "scoobaccino" shit
Jumpropeman: JabberjawEATS
Jumpropeman: get on it
---
MobileDraco: Blender's broken :(
Jumpropeman: you should have known better
RubyChao: your fault for thinking anything could damage it
Gooper Blooper: Never stood a chance
---
Gooper Blooper: The 3DS turned 10 yesterday! Five more years until Dolby can eat it.
Jumpropeman: what better way to celebrate than to not play it!
Gooper Blooper: I did get in some nice 3DS playtime this offseason
Jumpropeman: i put ever oasis and paper jam in my gamefly queue at least
Gooper Blooper: >ever oasis
Gooper Blooper: yesssssssssssssss
Gooper Blooper: I fuckin loved that game and no one else here played it (except harpy who only played a little)
Jumpropeman: no idea when I'll play it. The whims of Gamefly say it's unavailable now but tomorrow it might say its available again
Jumpropeman: sometimes they have 0 gamecube games, sometimes they have 6 for example
Jumpropeman: I don't think it's just other poeple renting them
Jumpropeman: I think they just do inventory weird
Gooper Blooper: a gamefly employee digging around in dolby looking for that yogi bear wii game
MobileDraco: What's a 3DS?
Gooper Blooper: it was how you played pokemon in the 2010s
MobileDraco: 😲
---
MobileDraco: Agama
The Deleter: Lol
---
Draco: The War on Christmas is real in Ultimate Battle Simulator.
Draco: ~25000 Santas vs. ~450 Stormtroopers and 9 Mechs.
Gooper Blooper: Santa rallying every mall santa in the US to his cause
Gooper Blooper: Stella's there too
Spring Clean Harpy: but where's marisa
Draco: Stella wants no part of this fight.
Gooper Blooper: I like the one santa that managed to get behind them
Draco: I think he's bugged. He doesn't move and nobody shoots him.
Draco: So we're down to 6000 Santas and not a single Stormtrooper or Mech has died. Many of the Holiday heroes have fallen into the river.
Gooper Blooper: We can chalk up the one-sidedness of this battle to the combination of the Santas being melee vs Team Stormtrooper having projectiles, combined with the narrow bridge making it impossible for the Santas to spread out and close in
Jumpropeman: that's just a santa decoration
Jumpropeman: Poo-Poo Santa lives
Gooper Blooper: but is it Poo-Poo- 2slow
Draco: Archers are faring a lot worse than Stormtroopers and mechs.
Draco: 455 German Machinegunners are doing a lot better than the Archers.
Gooper Blooper: Did the santas beat the archers
Draco: The Santas pulverized the archers. Only about 100 Santas dead before the Archers died off.
Draco: 15000 dead Santas and 0 dead Germans
Draco: I'm calling this match. There's more Germans than Santas and the Santas only got one because I accidentally steered him into the sea for them to kill.
Draco: Not entirely one-sided! Still over 10000 dead Santas, but there's 100 dead Germans this time.
Jumpropeman: what did santa ever do to you draco
Draco: He didn't bring me a Clownpiece Fumo for Christmas. BI
Jumpropeman: unforgivable
Draco: It's looking like the Germans might win though! They're literally buried in Santa corpses, but they've killed almost 25000 to losing only 200.
Gooper Blooper: heading to bed, nite
Jumpropeman: night gooper
Jumpropeman: watch out for santas
Jumpropeman: they seem to be on a tear tonight
Jumpropeman: or torn apart
Gooper Blooper: ho ho oh no
Jumpropeman: one or the other
Gooper Blooper: link
Jumpropeman: one day your people will rise, stella
---
RubyChao: the entire internet for about a year now (volume warning)
Draco: Oof
Gooper Blooper: sussus amogus
Brinehammer joined the chat
Draco: Hi Brine.
RubyChao: hi brine
RubyChao: how goes that sus
Brinehammer: Hey ya'll.
Jumpropeman: what's more sus than asking about sus!!!!!!
Draco: Dess?
Jumpropeman: you're right
---
Hooded Pitohui: I come for a brief few moments to share a discovery
Hooded Pitohui: Today I learned that Temmie Chang, of Undertale fame, got in on the Super Crown meme when it was big, but rather than a conventional princess...
Hooded Pitohui: She gave us Ravio
taishi civel: lel
---
Draco: Just saw Godzilla vs Kong. I liked it. Not saying anything else, even in Spoiler tags, until Goops has seen it.
Draco: Had my legion of keychains with me though.
taishi civel: nice
Harpy: hun we should ask what ivelfam wants to do
Draco: They want my keychains.
---
Jumpropeman: the biggest shame about RP Craig Stadler is that it wasn't really him
Jumpropeman: so he can't host the brawl this year
Jumpropeman: he'll just have to be the mystery fiter instead
Gooper Blooper: A fake Mario Andretti got the real one to show up
Gooper Blooper: anything's possible
---
Jumpropeman: the first video I ever uploaded to youtube was a bunch of Bidoof images set to music
Jumpropeman: oh wait
Jumpropeman: it was second
Jumpropeman: after a similar video with Mudkip instead
Jumpropeman: behold, in its 240p glory
Jumpropeman: I would have been 16 when I made that
Jumpropeman: hell yeah Dr. Stewart's music for the mudkip video
Jumpropeman: I knew it would have it
---
Gooper Blooper: My main reaction to Cosmic Star Heroine so far is
Gooper Blooper: "That escalated quickly."
---
Draco: Silly thing.
Jumpropeman: april fool's, sanae's dead
Draco: Cirno after Season 8
Jumpropeman: She sings for you
Jumpropeman: it's such a mature sadness in the cirno video
Jumpropeman: which is why it will never be canon
Jumpropeman: she'd just be bawling and sprawled out across the bar if she was sad
Gooper Blooper: little cirno drink cans scattered across the floor
Gooper Blooper: 0.000002% alcohol content by volume
Gooper Blooper: the camera lingers on a cirno pop melting in the sun
Gooper Blooper: the eyes go cross-eyed as the cirno head puddles
---
Draco: Shrine of The Ugly God: where Sheep's Junko goes
Draco: Tryptic Aviary of The Beautiful God: where Sheep's Junko deserves to be
---
Gooper Blooper: what is she doing
Jumpropeman: honoka going CRAAAAZEEEEEE
RubyChao: flailing
RubyChao: presumably she is trying to protest something
Gooper Blooper: we see a lot of honoka :D, but that's a good example of a honoka D:
Jumpropeman: they're not faito daiyoing hard enough
---
RubyChao: when i was out in the far reaches of brooklyn a while ago
RubyChao: i saw multiple video stores! still around in this day and age!
RubyChao: i didn't go in because it was pretty apparent they were all porn :V
Jumpropeman: that answers why they're around :V
Draco: LOL
---
RubyChao was timed out
Working from Del: rip chao
RubyChao left this message: i can't believe i'm as dead as mario
---
Jumpropeman: playing Five Nights at Freddy's 4
Jumpropeman: aka "can you hear the rhino huffing in the hallways"
Jumpropeman: I appreciate Xbox sending me a random advertising message while doing Night 3. Guess I can't be too beat up when A: I beat the night and B: the message gave me 5 free bucks for the Xbox online store :V
---
Marooned Sheep: "mentioned this on forum but -fancy borders are back"
Marooned Sheep: Mario had to die so we could have borders.
---
Jumpropeman: i feel like I have some sort of obligation I'm forgetting
Jumpropeman: I told myself I'd get to it after FNAF 4 but now of course I've forgotten
Marooned Sheep: Clearly
Marooned Sheep: It was reviewing Pyre
RubyChao: reviewing >game i want you to play?
Jumpropeman: I do that, and then ten hours later and little billy still isn't picked up from soccer practice
Marooned Sheep: Little Billy has to learn that life is hard and the universe is vast and uncaring towards his plight.
Marooned Sheep: Was it a blog?
Marooned Sheep: About another Hat Girl?
Jumpropeman: I know I have two blogs I aim to write
Jumpropeman: one that does involve a hat girl
Marooned Sheep: Does she transform from girl to hat?
Jumpropeman: not quite
Jumpropeman: the funny thing about Kogasa is she continues my trend of RPing touhous without hats
---
Gooper Blooper: https://youtube.com/watch?v=NIWMVM_PJ_A
Jumpropeman: the sound effects in this video
Jumpropeman: is this real
Gooper Blooper: It is 100% real (though Vinny was experiencing a music glitch that only played the first few seconds of the track)
Jumpropeman: okay, that explains a bit, but the monkey noises are still amazing
Gooper Blooper: fuck man, it killed me laughing when I saw it earlier and I've rewatched it and died all over again
Gooper Blooper: UNNNNH AYYYYYH
---
Gooper Blooper: link
MobileDraco: Honoka Fumo
Gooper Blooper: honk
Marooned Sheep: knoh
MobileDraco: Is that confirmation that Sheep is RPing a cute anime girl? :F
Gooper Blooper: he already has!
MobileDraco: Oh yeah! Purnima!
Marooned Sheep: Your reminder that Purnima partially came about by watching some episodes of Ouran High School Host Club.
Marooned Sheep: So yes
Marooned Sheep: Purnima is the most anime girl.
MobileDraco: Excellent. Don't forget her quirky adorable sidekick, Junko.
Marooned Sheep: Whoko?
MobileDraco: Junko Whoko Staten, the adorable blind ninja who once spinkicked Tenshi during a charity thunderstorm.
Marooned Sheep: "a charity thunderstorm" is a collection of words I'm going to steal
Jumpropeman: i hope you can find a situation that actually demands it
MobileDraco: I already did.
Jumpropeman: No! It was only supposed to be sheep who found one ;o;
MobileDraco: Well, he's got to catch up or else I'm confiscating his left shift button.
---
Jumpropeman: once upon a time I watched a video where some lady who worked with ign or something like that says game reviews don't matter and used a Star Wars game as her example which always made me doubt her argument
Jumpropeman: but this image here
Jumpropeman: seems to show how reviews really can eviscerate a game's sales
MobileDraco: 😱
Jumpropeman: the idea being that the Star Wars game sold millions anyway despite the negative reviews
Gooper Blooper: HAHAHAHA WOW. I saw one of the videos for that thing a while back, I don't remember if it was linked here or not (I think it was though) and wew it's bad
Jumpropeman: but now Balan Wonderworld, a game that isn't attached to like, one of the biggest IP franchises ever, is tanking hard
pepsivel: I heard the final boss needed a seizure warning, but I believe they did fix that issue
MobileDraco: Owch
Jumpropeman: it's either the reviews causing it to tank or the fact they called it Wonderworld instead of Wonderland-
pepsivel: all I heard about it was that
Jumpropeman: "Slightly better than Vroom in the Night Sky"
Jumpropeman looks at a certain report waiting for 4/20 to be posted
Gooper Blooper: oh my god did you finally write a review for that
Gooper Blooper: I've been waiting YEARS
pepsivel: oh wait, that's based on 4 critic reviews
Jumpropeman: I did indeed. Earlier today I posted 40 images to Twitter and swiftly deleted them because that's how you get Switch screenshots off the system :V
pepsivel: user score is 6.8
RubyChao: oh did you know
Jumpropeman: Balan Wonderworld was getting a surge of poorly written 10/10 user reviews that seemed to be fake
Gooper Blooper: it's especially appropriate now that you can put the vroom girl in The Coven
RubyChao: one of the balan songs
RubyChao: is just outright plagarism
Jumpropeman: woah
RubyChao: also what i really hate about the name is
RubyChao: why would you call it Balan WonderWORLD
Jumpropeman: that's not even an obscure ghostbusters song
RubyChao: it lends itself so perfectly to Balan Wonderland
Jumpropeman: "Overall, I'm feel satisfied by this Balan Wonderworld"
Jumpropeman: "If you love games like NiGHTS or Croc, you will also love this Balan Wonderworld" - Olony
"It's just like playing the old good platform games, like NiGTHS or Croc, and I love this" - Whastym
"I'm like it" - Klroph"
Jumpropeman: I like how all the fake reviewers have like, six character randomly generated names
Gooper Blooper: I'M LIKE IT
Gooper Blooper: thanks for this goldmine, JRM, been a while since I've gotten to roll around in shitty new release schadenfreude
Jumpropeman: the reviews are written like they're dialogue from Vroom in the Night Sky
Jumpropeman: just in case you want to read more Engrish reviews
Gooper Blooper: that Balan track is a nice remix of the song it stole at least :V
Jumpropeman: "It maybe can be a little strange to say, but this is that type of platform game that evolve dramatically when you going on with your journey. "
Jumpropeman: that IS strange to say
pepsivel: it's odd, I've seen reviews like that before seemingly get overlooked
pepsivel: but now it's being pointed out for Balan
pepsivel: it sucks no matter what it's a review for, but just saying :U
Jumpropeman: I remember reading a few other games it happened with but don't recall which
Jumpropeman: let me see if I can find it again
Jumpropeman: found this silly thing
Gooper Blooper votes both reviews as helpful
Jumpropeman: ah, the thing I was thinking of is when people pay a chinese company to leave a bunch of fake positive reviews on their amazon products
Jumpropeman: to the point a website was made to sift through the fake amazon reviews for you based on the common issues and errors those companies make :V
MobileDraco: Ray, if someone asks if you're not a bot, you say YES.
MobileDraco: Balan Wonderworld and its legally distinct Ghostgrabbers.
Jumpropeman: "WHOM SHALL YOU CONTACT? GHOSTGRABBERS!"
Gooper Blooper: it's like that time a ghostbusters cartoon went on the air that had nothing to do with the movie so when they made an actual ghostbusters cartoon they had to call it The Real Ghostbusters like a celebrity naming their twitter
RubyChao: i am not scared of any specter
Jumpropeman: that's because the original ghostbusters was a show with a gorilla
Gooper Blooper: gorillabusters
Jumpropeman: so to steal the more popular ghostbusters thunder, they made a cartoon based on the live action ghostbusters gorilla show from 1975
MobileDraco: Real talk: I had both Ghostbusters and The Real Ghostbusters toys.
Gooper Blooper: I noticed they've reissued the old ghostbusters toys and you can get them at Walmart now
Gooper Blooper: like they're the exact same as the 80s ones, it's really neat
Jumpropeman: https://youtube.com/watch?v=vWrAfikM7Ck
MobileDraco: I think I have an Ecto-1 toy around here somewhere...
Jumpropeman: https://youtube.com/watch?v=AWzoi1cx7_U
Jumpropeman: you tell me which one had the catchier theme tune 😏
RubyChao: WE'RE THE GHOOOOSTBUSTERS
RubyChao: so does Otto know this guy?
Marooned Sheep: I have NEVER heard of Gorilla Ghostbusters!
Jumpropeman: chao casually digging all the way to 2014 with his reference
Gooper Blooper: I absolutely love that one of the characters is named Kong and it's not the gorilla
Jumpropeman: clearly I should RP the Ghost Busters as they try to capture the Boo Brothers for my 2021 megaplot
RubyChao: don't tempt me
Gooper Blooper: save them for spook setting
MobileDraco: Is that the year Youmu returns?
Jumpropeman: we can't do spook setting because I'd have too many ideas and that's NOT what we want from a setting right?
MobileDraco: And gets half-captured?
RubyChao: are you implying that youmu is not always here?
MobileDraco: We do spook setting and Flu returns!...as a GHOST.
Jumpropeman: that's why 2023's setting is the interior of a Linens N' Things store
Jumpropeman looks at the Linens 'n Things wikipedia page
Jumpropeman: "A Linens 'n Things store (with older logo) going out of business in Durham, North Carolina.
A Linens 'n Things store (showing newer logo) in Washington, D.C., with banner notifying customers that it was 'going out of business'"
Jumpropeman: both images of the store on the page
Jumpropeman: are from locations going out of business
Gooper Blooper: Tonight's conversation has really gone places
MobileDraco: The entire setting happens in the same store. Nobody enters and leaves, entire season happens over one day.
(later)
Marooned Sheep: What gets me about the Ghostbusters, is that even the credits pretend that the guy in a gorilla suit is an actual gorilla, saying Tracy is "trained by Bob Burns"
Marooned Sheep echoes reaching from the past
Jumpropeman: excuse me sheep, no one ever said there was a man in a gorilla suit
MobileDraco: What does Sheep know that we don't? BI
Marooned Sheep: "It occurred to him that the peak of physical comedy could be easily reached by a man in a gorilla suit"
Jumpropeman: what's next sheep? Is King Kong just stop motion? I'll have you know the Screen Gorilla's Guild will be FURIOUS after this
Marooned Sheep: "Bob Burns would eventually land the role of Tracy the Gorilla...because he had his own gorilla suit"
Gooper Blooper: The credits of Godzilla: King Of The Monsters credit Godzilla with "As Himself"
Marooned Sheep: "Every episode setting up a literary ghost villain such as...the Abominable Snowman"
Marooned Sheep squints
Jumpropeman: it's from that classic book "Novelization of The Ghost Busters episode with the Abominable Snowman"
---
(Re: Railroad Tycoon 2)
RubyChao: who wants to see my bad screenshots from when i tried to play Train Game years and years ago and had no idea what i was doing
RubyChao: i found a save file and enjoyed it
RubyChao: so there are two things that are relevant here
RubyChao: 1: bridges can slow you down. wooden bridges, specifically, slow your train by 40% which is PRETTY BAD when you're trying to make money
RubyChao: 2: distance affects revenue. the shorter the distance, the less money you get
RubyChao: Young me did not understand either of these things.
MobileDraco: lol
Jumpropeman: that one turn with two bridges
RubyChao: even the slightest level of careful planning and i could have gone around the river with zero
RubyChao: but no.
Gooper Blooper: Chao was simply making the path longer to increase revenue!!
RubyChao: PFFFFFT
RubyChao: perfect excuse
---
Jumpropeman: "I'm a 15 year old solo developer from Sweden, and this is
my passion project I've been working on for about 1.5 years."
Jumpropeman: I misread this at first
Jumpropeman: without the decimal place
MobileDraco: Pffft
Jumpropeman: as soon as I was born, I was placed in front of a keyboard and told to code
MobileDraco: "THE MOMENT I WAS BORN I STARTED CODING."
Gooper Blooper: XD
---
Jumpropeman: apparently those big auctions of nostalgic things like old Pokemon cards and old NES games in box might be tied to intentional price inflation where buyer and seller collaborate so that such big ticket sales can lead to people actually buying old stuff for higher prices
Draco: Oof.
RubyChao: yeouch
Jumpropeman: apparently this is very common in the world of fine art already - a small group of people buying and selling to each other for big prices but do so anonymously or through shell companies to disguise it
Draco: Then it's time to rally Reddit!
Jumpropeman: what would be the fine art world's equivalent of Gamestop
Draco: The Louvre
Jumpropeman: the louvre actually made their entire collection free to view online recently
Jumpropeman: all 482,000 works
Jumpropeman: now THAT'S art preservation
Draco: That's pretty cool, but will they give me more than $4 for this copy of the Mona Lisa I bought in the gift shop?
Draco: It's a postcard.
Jumpropeman: only if it has a clever pun for the recipient written on it
Draco: Yes, but it's written in French.
Jumpropeman: best they can do is 2 bucks then
Draco: DX How will I refinance my Baja Blast now?!
---
Space Jam is just ZFRP: Satoshi joins the team!
Space Jam is just ZFRP: more inventory space!
Space Jam is just ZFRP: more dragons!
Jumpropeman: harpy
Jumpropeman: I've got some bad news for Satoshi
Jumpropeman: "SATOSHI means "Smallest Unit Of Bitcoin (Cryptocurrency Term)". SATOSHI is the name given to the smallest unit of the Bitcoin cryptocurrency. It represents one hundred millionth of a Bitcoin."
Gooper Blooper: what an insult
Space Jam is just ZFRP: damn guys i know he's short and an actual dragon runt but you don't need to rub it in
RubyChao: brutal
RubyChao: i guess satoshi is no longer accepted at kobber bars...
Space Jam is just ZFRP: its not like he pays in bitcoin
Space Jam is just ZFRP: he doesn't even know what the fuck bitcoins are!
Jumpropeman: satoshi plot: the fight to get his name back
Gooper Blooper: Goopsmom stopped me a couple weeks back and wanted to know what the deal with cryptocurrency was
Space Jam is just ZFRP: goopsmom no...
Gooper Blooper: I included the "Our bar/restaurant in ZFRP literally accepts all currency EXCEPT crypto" joke
Space Jam is just ZFRP: you can't just use the goopscomp and buy a high power GPU and mine all the bitcoin it's not sustainable
Gooper Blooper: Don't worry, she immediately found the concept stupid
Gooper Blooper: goopsmom is smart
(later)
Space Jam is just ZFRP: please do not melt your computer trying to get pictures of lola bunny's titties.
Space Jam is just ZFRP: why are you paying bitcoin for lola bunny's titites.
Jumpropeman: no promises
Space Jam is just ZFRP: horny jail *bonk*
pepsivel: why do they send all the horny people to the same jail anyway
pepsivel: they'll just be horny together instead
Jumpropeman: prison orgy
Jumpropeman: duh
Jumpropeman: the cure for horniness
Gooper Blooper: freedom for the horny, I say
RubyChao: dante's punishment for lust and so on
---
RubyChao: god i just realized season 5 is closer to the start of rp than it is to right now
RubyChao: wild, in a good way
Jumpropeman: so what you're saying is
Jumpropeman: we should delete it since its old and busted
Draco: Exactly!
RubyChao: everyone betrayed me i'm fed up with this world
Gooper Blooper: Thank you for participating in Zoofights RP. To better serve our players, we are discontinuing Season 3 through Season 6. We apologize for any inconvenience. Time spent fixing tags on these posts will not be refunded. Stay tuned for more updates on the future of ZFRP!
Jumpropeman: We need to focus on the Agama Season 11 and Season 12 brand so we are moving resources away from Season 3 through 6. We hope you continue to enjoy ZFRP
Gooper Blooper: UPDATE: After many messages from gamers, we are also discontinuing Season 7.
RubyChao: I'm in physical pain
---
Cornwind Evil: One of my recent dreams had some sort of insane super BBB being formed with all the characters applying in person and there were like 6000 entrants
Jumpropeman: that's the kind of BBB we'd see in some sort of joke look at another world or time
Draco: So...BBB13 then?
Cornwind Evil: I remember I saw the winner
Jumpropeman: alternatively, 5,950 of those entrants are all part of the same ant colony
Jumpropeman: i expect hypothetical goops and chao to note who killed each ant
Cornwind Evil: But all I can remember is it had a name that sounded like it was from some magical girl anime show
Cornwind Evil: Like the winner of this 6000 being fight was Macakcho Tsumoko Nei from the anime Teint Teint Ven Shoon Dun Dural Ha!
Cornwind Evil: I am making up this name and anime to show the basic structure of the winner's name and source material, as I sure as heck can't remember the details
Draco: How'd you know I was entering her in this year's Brawl?
Cornwind Evil: I think I entered Ash
Cornwind Evil: And he placed in the low 3000s
---
Jumpropeman: he's made personal progress!
---
Jumpropeman: remember that time in season 1 everyone watched caveman sex together?
Draco: ...I mean, yeah, but I wasn't going to bring it up ever again unless Shimmer asked about it.
Jumpropeman: that's her character arc this season
(later)
pepsivel joined the chat
pepsivel: hey guys-
pepsivel: "Jumpropeman: remember that time in season 1 everyone watched caveman sex together?"
pepsivel left the chat
Draco: Ivel, lady and gentlemen.
---
Gooper Blooper: ohhhhh no, there goes gearsympho, go go godzilla
---
Jumpropeman: trying to make an old man toy cool
Jumpropeman: SMASHIN
Draco: It's working.
---
Jumpropeman: It's like you're really Godzilla!
Gooper Blooper: Whenever a Godzilla game isn't a fighter
Gooper Blooper: expect it to be weird as hell
Jumpropeman: Somewhere among 64 scenes Minilla is confined!
Gooper Blooper: XD
Ray quay?: oh no
---
Marooned Sheep: "Yahoo Answers dies on May 4th"
Marooned Sheep: I can't believe MBMBAM is dead.
Marooned Sheep: If there was actually anyone around, I'm sure they'd appreciate that joke.
iKomodo: Kek
Marooned Sheep: !
Marooned Sheep: A laugh!
Marooned Sheep: See. I can get laughs, DAD!
Marooned Sheep shakes fist
RubyChao joined the chat
RubyChao: HA
MobileDraco: Sheep, my son, I am proud of you. You got a laugh. Now I can retire from being silly.
Jumpropeman: finally, we can switch to 24/7 serious chatzy
pepsivel: Business business business.
Jumpropeman: Numbers...
Harpy: excuse me have you checked the ZFRP stocks recently
Draco: Contracts projects lawsuit buy sell buy sell pomegranates
---
Jumpropeman: well, North Dakota may come up short in most regards
Jumpropeman: but its the only state with its own Carmen San Diego game
Draco: :O What an honor!
Jumpropeman: turns out Hansel is an edutainment game programmer-
---
Jumpropeman: quality ign walkthrough
pepsivel: I was drinking something as I read that damnit jrm
pepsivel: amazing
pepsivel: almost as good as the next page
RubyChao: was it helpful?
Jumpropeman: well chao
Jumpropeman: when I reach that PURPLE fire
Jumpropeman: I'll know
(later)
Jumpropeman: ive found it
Jumpropeman: the PURPLE flames
Jumpropeman: I jumped over them!
Jumpropeman: the guide was right!
Jumpropeman: note: there are no other colors of flames in this segment
Gooper Blooper: Glad we got that cleared up
Jumpropeman: the purple was just the author getting excited in the guide I guess
---
Jumpropeman: Poochy going CRAZY
Marooned Sheep: Poochy was always crazy, man
Jumpropeman: say what you will about him
Jumpropeman: but Poochy ain't stupid
Jumpropeman: this line comes to mind every time I see Poochy
"Gooper Blooper: poochy ain't stupid
Gooper Blooper: (poochy is extremely stupid)"
Jumpropeman: although I tend to misremember it as "Poochy ain't stupid! (Warning: Poochy is EXTREMELY stupid)"
Draco: On a scale of Cirno to Futo, how stupid is Poochy?
Marooned Sheep: Junko level.
Marooned Sheep airhorns
Jumpropeman: which junko
pepsivel: which Junko
pepsivel: dang
Marooned Sheep: Which witch?
Jumpropeman: let's put numbers on the Junkos' backs
RubyChao: i am glad i am not the only one who has chatzy madness lines on permanent callback
Marooned Sheep: Okay, my Junko will be Junko 2
Marooned Sheep: And Goops' Junko will be Junko 2
Marooned Sheep: Chao's Futo, to further distinguish them, will be Junko 2
---
Cornwind Evil: I think there's some blogposts I am missing
Cornwind Evil: I feel like new characters are being shown off
Gooper Blooper: Draco confirmed Penny for RP a few months back but has not written her yet
Draco: Nah. Chao's showing pictures of a minor antagonist from Season 9 and I'm showing off pictures of a minor protagonist from Season 11.
Jumpropeman: check out the blogpost bulletin board
Jumpropeman: most of us post blogs when they go up there
Jumpropeman: so you won't be behind unless someone forgets!
Gooper Blooper: I always make sure to post all the non-chatzy madness blogs I do to the bulletin board, yep
RubyChao: yeah i post all my blogs to the board
Hooded Pitohui: I'm sorry to bring this into existence. Blame my past-midnight tired brain
Hooded Pitohui: May is coming too quickly. I'm hype, but it's so close
Draco: XD
Gooper Blooper: rest in pitohui
---
(Re: Railroad Tycoon 2 again)
RubyChao: fun fact
RubyChao: in every single try i've made at this map, this AI has never survived
RubyChao: he always runs his company into the ground, gets fired, and a few years later you get a newspaper headline about the company being liquidated
Gooper Blooper: New Archaeological Discoveries In Africa South America
RubyChao: one of the generic column lines (they're randomized, as opposed to the headline and subheading)
RubyChao: is "New Cult Leader Says End Of The World Is At Hand"
RubyChao: it's pretty hilarious to get that one on the apocalypse map :V
Gooper Blooper: that sounds like the strategy game equivalent of when AI smash opponents walk off the level if you position yourself in the right spot
Draco: End of the world again? B|
Jumpropeman: reminds me of how I learned the Yucca plant exists
Jumpropeman: where in Sim City 2000 there's a ticker with pertinent info on your city but also random joke news stories like "After 36 Years Of Marriage, Man Discovers Wife Is Actually A Rare Yucca Plant"
RubyChao: the other ones i remember offhand are record rainfall in the gobi desert, renewed fighting in the middle east, and murder in the park - detectives baffled
Harpy: yucca is pretty often used in latino cooking
Harpy: and they tend to be offered at peruvian chicken places
Harpy: meanwhile i'm more a plantain kinda girl
Gooper Blooper: I learned about yucca plants from a massive animal encyclopedia set I cherished as a child
Gooper Blooper: It listed a ton of animals from A to Z over 20 volumes and right near the end was an entry for the yucca moth, which I remembered because eight year old me thought that name was uproariously funny
Jumpropeman: YUCK! A MOTH!
Harpy: YU! KA! MOTH!
Gooper Blooper: the encyclopedias date back to the 60s and were old when I got them, but I still have them. My grandmother spotted them in the free pile at a yard sale and rescued them from incoming rain
Gooper Blooper: :3
Harpy: i love history like that
Harpy: i kinda want to stop by a bookstore who specializes in old books and just
Harpy: can't stop getting encyclopedias
Jumpropeman: I had an encyclopedia set for a bit that I held onto
Gooper Blooper: There will be at least one, and likely multiple, scenes of Gloria doing Agama research in a Big Old Library
Gooper Blooper: for those vibes
Jumpropeman: problem was it takes up so much space on top of containing outdated info that I couldn't justify lugging it around
Harpy: nerds doing nerd things
Draco: Nerd nerd nerd
Gooper Blooper: salami
Jumpropeman: nerd club will have little salami slices at every meeting now to fill the gap
RubyChao: i have an encyclopedia somewhere
RubyChao: reading it one afternoon was how i learned about sex
Harpy: that sure is one way to learn about the birds and the bees
Gooper Blooper: reminder that Gloria's last name is Kurodani Encarta, named after the old Windows digital encyclopedia that was Wikipedia before Wikipedia
Draco: Reminder that Yamame's last name is Kurodani, which is some kind of temple in Japan I guess.
Gooper Blooper: harpy kurodani
Harpy: *tabitha hanging out at a temple as a shrine maiden I GUESS*
Gooper Blooper: burger maiden
(later)
RubyChao: I DID IT
RubyChao: it took a lot of work and much, much longer than any other map
RubyChao: but i beat that one very, very hard map
Jumpropeman: excellent!
Jumpropeman: You've completed your TRAINing
Jumpropeman: I like the reactions
Jumpropeman: they're relieved as well V:
RubyChao: heeeeeh
RubyChao: i definitely appreciate the over the top writing here
RubyChao: it feels earned
RubyChao: i ended up using a totally different tactic than what i was used to, too
RubyChao: for a lot of the net worth maps i pushed it over the edge by either leveraging heavily at the last minute to inflate my stock price or buying as much of an opponent's stock as i could, then buying them out for a high price so i made a personal profit
RubyChao: here neither of those was enough
RubyChao: so instead i spent about two-thirds of the map gradually accumulating 100% ownership in the company by buying back stock as the company and buying it as a person
RubyChao: and then once i had 100% with six years to go i just cranked up the dividends to maximum and had the company pay me hand over fist
RubyChao: by doing that i made a lot of cash, and running my company properly kept my stock value high, so it added up to the absurd total the game wanted
RubyChao: sorry for so much game update i'm just relieved and excited :V
RubyChao: this was my last shot at it, too
RubyChao: because i had resolved that if THIS run failed i just wasn't gonna beat my head against it forever
RubyChao: but
RubyChao: it didn't!!!
Jumpropeman: i was helping my mom so that's why I got quiet :V
Jumpropeman: but congrats on getting over the hump
RubyChao: anyhow
RubyChao: my favorite part, in a cosmic way
RubyChao: -i spent all this time on a map about supplying/supporting the geocore
RubyChao: -literally next map, it explodes
Jumpropeman: i told you trains would end the world
Draco: Chao is an evil capitalist.
Draco: He'll make billions on trains and then spend it all buying the world's only Utsuho Fumo.
RubyChao: Unyu.
RubyChao: also draco; yes i am
RubyChao: there are multiple campaign maps where one of the win conditions is explicitly "put all your rivals out of business"
RubyChao: and there were maps where i put my rivals out of business even when i didn't have to, because it helped my schemes
Draco: This is the year the Chao Villain wins by putting Nitori out of business with trains.
---
Jumpropeman: its kinda wild how often mario has to kill bowser's children to save the princess
Harpy: late night morality talks
Harpy: oh no
Harpy: *hisses and holds up Boss as a defense before running away*
Jumpropeman: i mean I just kicked two bowser juniors to the curb
Harpy: he has another jr?!?!?
Harpy: he's cloning himself..
Jumpropeman: how could you forget that classic paper mario character
Jumpropeman: paper bowser jr.
---
Jumpropeman: a new forum member joined
Jumpropeman: the name looks suspicious
Jumpropeman: googled the name and found a suspicious site and them spamming another tapatalk board :V
Marooned Sheep: Did you ban the guy, JRM?
Jumpropeman: nah. considered it but if they're real it would be rude
Marooned Sheep: What? Swift justice only AFTER a crime, JRM?!
Jumpropeman: The Enforcer is fair and even in his judgments
---
Draco: Geez...this wiki's got one line of text and then a few dozen pictures of Natasha Nielsen.
RubyChao: to be fair
RubyChao: that's literally all there is to her in canon
RubyChao: she is a reporter. yep.
---
RubyChao: is this the BBB11 arena
Jumpropeman: it is now
Draco: I'm boycotting Brawl 12 if it isn't. You can quote me, M_Sheep, on that.
Draco enters a strange magical mandrill whose only power is making Mandrill Mazes pop up from the ground.
---
Marooned Sheep: link
Jumpropeman: a mario christmas carol would... probably not be fun if official but could be fun in a fan's hands
---
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