Tuesday, March 30, 2021

Spider Patrol

It's another day in the South American jungle, and as usual a very large arachnid was investigating their territory in search of anything out of the ordinary. 

Of course, to some, this creature itself was out of the ordinary. A gigantic tarantula with a body the size of a twin bed, it strode through the jungle without a care for it supposedly being impossible for such a large arthropod to exist. It stomped forward with steady and sure strides as it made the rounds on its' practiced route, a route it had taken every day for years. Nearby villagers could set their timepieces to the march of the spider, which was known as a "Moulder" for the fungi that grew upon its' body. Scientists who had observed the creature as it performed its' daily constitutional surmised that the mold, moss, and mushrooms sprouting from the spider's back played a key role in its' biology, but as the species was considered extremely rare, no one had yet gotten approval to capture it and study it more closely. It didn't help that until recently it was very uncommon to find any outsiders researching Agama's surrounding flora and fauna. This region of South America had been an isolated lost world of sorts, harboring mysterious creatures and long-lost civilizations no one had been able to dig into until now. Maybe this year, with Kobber attention focused on the region, the secrets of the jungle would finally start to be unlocked.

While the Moulder's meanderings were far from the most important mystery, at least as far as scholars were concerned, it too seemed ripe for answers. Those who studied the Moulder's path noted that it was very rigid, but when outside circumstances forced the spider to act, it proved surprisingly intelligent. This odd mix of brainpower and static routine caused no end of headscratching. The Moulder would make small diversions to catch nearby prey or avoid possible predators, and unexpected obstacles that weren't there the day before, such as a fallen tree blocking the path, were easily navigated over or around. But whenever the Moulder's pace was interrupted, it would resume its' patrol at a faster speed until it caught back up to its' proper schedule, arriving at each point of interest at the same time every day like the public transportation of people's dreams.

Today's first unexpected obstacle was a large log lying horizontally across the path. The Moulder came to a cautious stop a dozen feet from it, letting out a chirp as its' pedipalps, the small leglike limbs near its' mouth, rubbed together. This was no ordinary toppled tree. The spider could tell that something was wrong. Its' suspicions were confirmed when the trunk suddenly sprouted legs and rose up off the ground, and a huge insect head emerged from one end of the fallen tree.

Thursday, March 25, 2021

Chatzy Madness Volume 382: Fungus Never Disappoints

Draco pounces on the new Chatzy Madness like Meiling seeing a new cute girl to fall in love with.

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Draco: We're making this the new forum banner.

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Marbles Sheep: "N Goat: These pretzel sticks are awful"
Marbles Sheep: They really were though.
Marbles Sheep: They really were.
Marbles Sheep gazes silently out the window

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Jumpropeman: "Mega Drive's #1 fan."
Jumpropeman: this guy
Jumpropeman: he don't know
Jumpropeman: this tumblr does make me aware of a Lost Episode of Sega Hard Girls though
Jumpropeman: one with Master System in it!
Jumpropeman: sadly it's only in Japanese
Jumpropeman: its also full of rehashed animations from the other episodes :V
Gooper Blooper: pictured: mega drive's actual number one fan
Draco: That guy is obviously lying to himself because I saw this.
Jumpropeman: that's how I found him! But also, I am now following because like, how else will we get the hottest new hard girl fanart besides this dude?
Draco: Good question!
Draco: Draw it yourself, then you'll always know when new art is available.

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(Harpy and myself leave Chatzy at the same time)

Draco: Bye Harpy's Friend Goops.
Draco: Bye Goops' Friend Harpy.
Gooper Blooper left the chat
Draco: I'm all alone. ;-;
Jumpropeman: yup
Jumpropeman: Draco's friend Draco
Draco: My ONLY friend.
RubyChao: draco is friends with draco???
Draco: Correct.
Draco: He even follows me on MySpace.

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Working from Del: wario's pants remain terrifying

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Jumpropeman joined the chat
Jumpropeman congeals

Friday, March 12, 2021

Casting Call

They came from the dark corners of Agama. The criminal elements of this South American region did not seem like much compared to the toxic heights of Olympia in 2019, when The Curse had an iron grip on every aspect of the city's existence, but it has long been a sad truth that no matter where one goes, if enough people gather together, a few bad eggs inevitably try to take advantage of the rest. Agama was no different, and it was here that Mr. Hippo would plant his flag and rebuild The Curse into a group worth defending again.

The fact that he was holding official tryouts with papers tacked up on local stores' bulletin boards and a big 'VILLAINS WELCOME' sign outside the office building he'd rented for interviews meant that he was attracting only a certain type of evil, though.

Not that Mr. Hippo minded. These were his people.