Jumpropeman: saw this cereal box on top of the fridge today
Jumpropeman: I don't like how it looks like Toucan Sam is one of those photoshopped birds with arms
Jumpropeman: they're usually wings that have feather form fingers
Jumpropeman: but here they're human arms turned blue
Jumpropeman: to compare
Jumpropeman: admittedly other images of mr. sam show the wings-to-arms better but I figure at least show something closer to what they're going for
Mid Sheep: What have they done to Toucan Sam
Mid Sheep: a play in two acts
---
The Deleter: Finally picked Pokémon sword back up
The Deleter: Spikemuth looks like how I remember Nottingham :U
---
Hooded Pitohui: Ma
Hooded Pitohui: yu
Hooded Pitohui: mi
RubyChao: it begins
Hooded Pitohui: (that's all for now, picture wise)
RubyChao: folks i have been hearing about this girl for a month
RubyChao: now
RubyChao: it is your turn.
Gooper Blooper: I enjoyed how at the end of his blogpost he just started overflowing with hype
Hooded Pitohui: This girl! I can't even tell you! Chao linked me one (1) remix of her theme for completely unrelated reasons to her specifically - this one specifically (warning, it's kind of loud)
Gooper Blooper: My first exposure to her was earlier last year, when Harpy linked HANIPAGANDA- there it is
OOPS ALL CATS: HA HA HA
Gooper Blooper: it definitely made a strong first impression
Mid Sheep sees Random Cute Girl shattered
Mid Sheep: Okay, NOW I'm interested
Hooded Pitohui: And then after a few weeks, months, I forget, he links this one
Hooded Pitohui: And from there my mind goes off as I research this girl and ideas for her start clicking rapid-fire, everything new I learn about her incorporating seamlessly
Gooper Blooper: She's made of clay, Sheep
Gooper Blooper: Just like Carla's new bod, since they're from the same lady
Mid Sheep: I don't hate what I'm seeing of this character
Mid Sheep: As Some Hat Girl Sans Hat, she's setting a high bar
Gooper Blooper: she leads her army of gyroids and needle-less cactaurs into battle
Hooded Pitohui: Into giving her a new spin, building an idea for a character rooted in what we know about her but also on its own two feet
Hooded Pitohui: Sheep! Finding out she's made of clay, seeing all the art of her shattering in part, it was all a grand trip, let me tell you
RubyChao: reminder
Gooper Blooper: Sheep definitely likes it when the cute girls aren't just cute girls
RubyChao: pitohui took the touhou sorter like what
Gooper Blooper: he's a fan of Dolby
RubyChao: two weeks after i linked the second theme to him?
RubyChao: and she was second
OOPS ALL CATS: keiki be like :o
Hooded Pitohui: She has some wonderful potential in the strange ways, this Haniwa Lance Corporal as they call her
RubyChao: out of all touhous
RubyChao: this has been building ridiculously fast and high
Gooper Blooper: The sorter was our first time seeing the love
Draco: What if...the cute girl...was also...A FIRE FIGHTER?
RubyChao: sanae making ends meet
Gooper Blooper: I expected "lel first place is a birb" but this was the big surprise
Mid Sheep: I have high hopes, Mr, Pitohui
RubyChao: i'm honestly surprised he managed to wait this long to finally do this
Mid Sheep: High hopes.
Gooper Blooper: on it, draco
Hooded Pitohui: On one hand, I don't want to go into all the specifics when it comes to the plans for her, but, goodness, she's so cute, such a dork in the best way but also this serious girl who ascribes importance to history and what's been discarded and forgotten
Gooper Blooper: oh hey, well if that ain't just PERFECT for Agama
OOPS ALL CATS: i mean
OOPS ALL CATS: gotta wait til things are confirmed right?
OOPS ALL CATS: *cries in tanuki*
Gooper Blooper: considering almost everyone seems to converging on "ARCHAEOLOGY ARCHAEOLOGY" for Agama plans
Draco: Thank you, Goops. You're a hero.
Draco: Wait, we're doing ARCHAEOLOGY? I thought we were all doing ARACHNOLOGY!!! *cancels The Spiders*
RubyChao: i sure am!
Mid Sheep: I'm torn between Dmitri and Marlow Briggs for Agama...
Gooper Blooper: don't cancel the spiders
Gooper Blooper: I have A Lot Of Spiders planned for Agama
Gooper Blooper: potentially an entire event filled with them
Gooper Blooper: spiders everywhere
OOPS ALL CATS: oh boy, tori can bring her electric spider?!?!?
Mid Sheep: Return of the Visorak
Mid Sheep: Prep your h and k keys!
Gooper Blooper flings Cordie into the jungle
Draco: Very well. I shall bring back...The Spiders.
Draco: *reveals that the entire hotel staff is Spiders, even the ones RP'd by other users*
---
RubyChao: so here's a question, pitohui
RubyChao: how many mayumis does it take to change a lightbulb
Hooded Pitohui: It takes one Mayumi. One Mayumi to look at a lightbulb with fascination, a sense of childlike wonder because, though she can understand it in its entirety, she still finds simple pleasure in the fact someone has made a device like that, and hundreds of thousands of them no less, all the while ordering a haniwa soldier into position so she can stand atop it and change the bulb
Gooper Blooper: That reminds me, HP, of when Chao posted a video about antigue toaster collectors and Harpy was like "wowwwww look at those neat old toasters"
Gooper Blooper: Just taking a moment to be fascinated by a normal household object and appreciating what it is capable of that we take for granted
Hooded Pitohui: Okay, so first, that reminds me of my favorite CBS Sunday Morning clip
Hooded Pitohui: And second, yep, that's basically Mayumi. Perfectly capable with modern culture! It's not like she can't just... use things like most people would. She just doesn't take any of it for granted, finds it fascinating in spite of its mundane nature
Gooper Blooper: based on the description alone, the toaster video was almost exactly the same thing except with toasters
202Ivel: that just makes me think of The Brave Little Toaster
Gooper Blooper: ...wait a second
Gooper Blooper: IT'S THE SAME GUY
Gooper Blooper: THEY GOT THE SAME GUY
RubyChao: is this mayumi's new series
Gooper Blooper: He got to visit the toaster people AND the washing machine people. He is truly blessed.
Hooded Pitohui: THEY DID!
Hooded Pitohui: The luckiest journalist...
Hooded Pitohui: I'd be overjoyed if random groups of enthusiasts invited me to come and listen to them talk passionately about whatever their niche interest is.
RubyChao: isn't that what i already do to you?
Gooper Blooper: Welcome to ZFRP, HP
Hooded Pitohui: "RubyChao: is this mayumi's new series" - Yes, she brings reading materials about old, abandoned places and practices and trades it for the chance to stand in on enthusiast meetings on a range of topics
Gooper Blooper: As someone who has long enjoyed the aesthetic of finding magic in the ordinary, I'm definitely liking this angle for Mayumi
---
Jumpropeman: my new char
OOPS ALL CATS: no
OOPS ALL CATS: i'd sooner subject you to the cats movie
RubyChao: lung
Jumpropeman: link link
RubyChao: does he have any other organs
RubyChao: or is it just
RubyChao: l u n g
Draco: I'm mildly terrified of anthro lungs.
Jumpropeman: he is lung
OOPS ALL CATS: nooooo
Jumpropeman: "What do our lungs look like, Breezy?" "Let me open you up so we can find out!"
---
Jumpropeman: a man went to jail in Japan for forging popsicle sticks. He forged 6000 of them because they could be redeemed for Pokemon cards of Zarude that he was selling for a profit
Draco: O_O
---
RubyChao: "Avatar Source: Art of the best Touhou character to ever exist, drawn by a friend."
RubyChao: goops will appreciate knowing
RubyChao: this person's avatar
RubyChao: is Sumireko Usami
Gooper Blooper: very good, very good
Draco: Too bad they're wrong. *will die on this hill made of Parsees*
Mid Sheep shovels up a wheelbarrow full of Parsees to lay down as fertilizer
Draco: Make sure to put on a couple of layers, Sheep. We need this chocolate milk harvest to be strong.
---
Draco: Buttered some bread, heated up pasta.
Draco: Now I'm watching an ancient MST3K episode on some movie using puppets.
Mid Sheep: What's the movie, Draco?
Draco: Invaders from the Deep
Draco: Per the wiki: "This episode was previously one of three missing episodes (where no fan recording had been discovered). However, a master tape copy of the episode (along with Revenge of the Mysterons from Mars) was found in 2016, and on November 25, 2016, the episode was released on VHX by Joel Hodgson to qualifying backers of the Kickstarter campaign.[5]"
Draco: It's such an early production, they don't even have the robots. It's just Joel riffing on the movie.
Mid Sheep: Huh!
Mid Sheep: Interesting!
Mid Sheep: I don't know if I could just listen to Joel :V
RubyChao: oh, one of the season 0 ones?
Draco: Must be.
RubyChao: where it was just the local show
Draco: Yeah, definitely the local show. None of the polish from the Comedy Central/Sci-Fi seasons.
Draco: Okay, so Crow IS in the episode.
Mid Sheep: Oh? Crow's there?
Jumpropeman: they just extend Crow's part of the theme song to cover the parts of the absent robots
RubyChao: Croooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow!
Draco: Yeah. Definitely lacks the punch of the later years, but still funny.
Draco: The movie makers made the bold choice of making the female cast member mute, so the main character talks to her like she's a child. Also, the bad guys are all from underseas, so their weird speech quirk is adding "Marine" to every unit of measure, so we get "Marine Minutes" and "Marine Volts".
Mid Sheep: Oh buddy
RubyChao: so since Tachi lives in an underwater city
RubyChao: does this mean she needs to add Marine to everything
Jumpropeman: that's the real reason we won't do an underwater setting
Draco: Yes.
Draco: She needs to bake the pie at 400 Marine Degrees.
Draco: For one Marine Hour.
Mid Sheep: GIVE ME MY UNDERWATER SETTING
Mid Sheep claws at JRM's feet from under the bed
Draco: Okay, but only if Junko is the Queen of Marineville.
Mid Sheep: I'D DO IT
Mid Sheep: AND YOU'LL ALL BE SORRY
Mid Sheep waves Junko threateningly, wild-eyed
Draco: Sorry we didn't do it sooner.
Draco hugs Junko.
Draco: The newest badguy in what I must now assume is a movie made of chopped up TV episodes drives a tank that is a submarine. Marine Minutes have returned.
Draco: Their submarine tank supposedly has the power to destroy a continent. Somehow. This one blast will somehow cause the entire West Coast to sink.
RubyChao: RIP you
Draco: I'm getting a knock-off Kirk vibe from our main character and his sidekick reminds me of...I dunno...a Southerner of some kind or maybe Ronald Reagan.
Mid Sheep: I could get behind Tank Submarine.
Jumpropeman: Tank Submarine is alive
Mid Sheep: Tank Submarine is Live A Live
Draco: Tank Submarine took one shot and crapped out. Pilot decided to get lost the moment there was trouble.
Mid Sheep: Aw man
Draco: It's okay; they had a second Submarine Tank ready to go.
Draco: Marineville Base is surprisingly competent at shooting down incoming missiles.
Draco: Also good at bombing things too!
Mid Sheep: I demand more Submarine Tank!
Draco: It did something smart! It lured our heroes into extreme depths and almost killed them except the mute lady is completely unaffected by pressure and dodged.
Draco: Then the heroes decided to bravely destroy an entire city because they couldn't find the tank.
RubyChao: yaaaaaay
Draco: Every time this base mobilizes, instead of sirens they blare conga music so everyone knows to get to battle stations.
Draco: They only seem to have one submarine and crew though, because they had to call our heroes from the middle of a dinner date to investigate a missing underwater satellite.
Mid Sheep: Everybody conga!
Mid Sheep: Conga-grate to your battle stations, because we are under attack.
Draco: They used Underwater Tank to make their own submarine able to go deeper underwater.
Mid Sheep: We will miss you, tank
Draco: The villain at the bottom of the underwater volcano is threatening the heroes with lawn darts.
Draco: What strange new civilization will Troy and Bones destroy this time?
Draco: In a shocking twist, they aren't the ones destroying the civilization; they did it to themselves by building in a volcano. And now, instead of coming up with a compromise, the volcano people decided to just take the heroes' scuba gear for themselves instead of, I don't know, taking turns with the masks until they were all aboard.
Draco: They're using Yellow Submarine as their end credits music despite their submarine being blue.
Draco: Now the episode is over and I just saw this.
Jumpropeman: heyyyy!
Jumpropeman: it's those things!
Draco: Indeed! The things!
---
Gooper Blooper: I enjoy this quote from Dinosaur Dracula about an old Sears he used to go to because I think a lot of us have been to stores like this in our childhood
Gooper Blooper: "The Sears nearest me had a two-aisle toy section randomly shoved into its hardware department. Its escalators smelled like battery acid. The first “S” on its lighted logo was perpetually on the fritz, so you couldn’t walk into the store without thinking about ears.
I’m not complaining, though. That was part of the charm. You’d go to the mall, get overstimulated by the sights and sounds, and then drop by Sears for a reprieve. It was a comparative library in there. You could drop a Snickers on the floor and still find it a week later."
Mid Sheep nods solemnly
Harpy: yes
Mid Sheep: And lo was there a bin of stuffed animals and/or balls
Gooper Blooper: ball bin in the summer
Gooper Blooper: stuffed animal bin around christmas
---
Mid Sheep: https://youtube.com/watch?v=pSDqz0zvGQA
Gooper Blooper: oh god
Gooper Blooper: the instant name mixup
Harpy: wwwwut
Gooper Blooper: oh this is gold
Gooper Blooper: "The air IS dry." ".............................................................................................." "We're all very thirsty."
Harpy: it just looks like they stole some dinosaur toys and used that in production
Draco: Before or after they stole a toy submarine?
Harpy: at the same time.
Draco: I seriously can't tell if this is a real show.
Harpy: its dadaism at its finest... i think...
Gooper Blooper: Draco:
Gooper Blooper: It is.
Draco: Thanks, Goops. I'm horrified.
Draco: Born Free, sponsored by Sinclair.
Gooper Blooper: It has a page on the Ultraman Wiki because it's from the same company
Draco: Nice.
---
Mid Sheep: "We are lucky to live in an age with plenty of legitimately challenging games with fair difficulty design that values skill" - Jump "Romulus" Man, Minister of Video Game Propaganda
---
Jumpropeman: "Pebble Beach Golf Links: Stadler ni Chousen"
Jumpropeman: found the name of the Craig Stadler anime
Draco: le gasp
Draco: I love it.
Jumpropeman: "Very popular with the galleries, Stadler is affectionately called "The Walrus" for his portly build and ample mustache."
Jumpropeman: this is from Wikipedia
Jumpropeman: they helpfully hyperlink the word walrus just in case you need to compare the two
RubyChao: i misread galleries as ladies
Jumpropeman: oh mama
Draco: That's the Adult Swim run of the Muppet Show.
Gooper Blooper: XD
---
RubyChao: >this game has literally one thousand save slots
RubyChao: this feels like someone told a dev "you need more save slots" and he screamed YOU WANT MORE, YOU'LL GET MORE
Jumpropeman: you better use them all, young man
Jumpropeman: some of us had to make due with only three!
Jumpropeman: or even just one!
---
Jumpropeman: sheep interacting with all our cute lady characters
Mid Sheep: Remarkably accurate.
202Ivel: Bartolomeo is great
Draco: Slightly less dirt eating and a...well...I guess thanks to Streaming-chan that's the right amount of cam-whoring.
---
Gooper Blooper: I was wondering why Chatzy had a special background today and checked to see if January 14 is a holiday and yes sir, it's THE FEAST OF THE ASS
Harpy: ass
---
Harpy: SNAP!
Harpy: SNAP!!!!
Harpy: BITCH IT SNAP
Gooper Blooper: Oh hey, I was wondering when they would release that
Gooper Blooper: Literally the day before RP starts
Harpy: oh god
Gooper Blooper: so we know what Maya's gonna do this summer
Harpy: are we putting that rtx in agama
RubyChao: Mayaya! Mayaya!
Harpy: are we going on a jungle journey?!?
Harpy: we taking that shit through the ruins?!?
Harpy: because bitch i'm in
Gooper Blooper: All the Regi Bros pile into a giant-size Zero-One to photograph ruins
Harpy: that professor looks kinda like todd with a beard...
RubyChao: but what if this game features the second zero-one
RubyChao: or for short
RubyChao: the Zero Two
Harpy: *grabs sword*
Harpy: THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Harpy: before I UNLEASH
Harpy: WHEELY BIG CHEESE
---
Mid Sheep: And now, I rest
Mid Sheep left the chat
Draco: No rest for Sheep.
Draco: *hangs a Fire Force poster on his front door and litters his yard with body pillows*
Draco: *they're Cirno body pillows because this harassment campaign is on a budget*
---
Draco: From Wikipedia: "In 1994 he was the featured coach for the Sega Saturn video game Pebble Beach Golf Links. In 1996 he appeared as himself in the film Tin Cup."
Jumpropeman: sadly, he is not the star of Tin Cup
Draco: He ought to be.
Jumpropeman: he doesn't even get out of bed for anything less than a Silver Cup
Draco: He IS the Silver Cup.
Draco: Craig's so passionate about this golf course, you can tell every time he describes it.
Draco: Craig's there every step of the way to tell the player they made a great shot too. ;o;
---
Jumpropeman: Reading Homestuck all the way through is like the internet version of reading through all of Ulysses
---
Jumpropeman: you ever just go outside with your thermometer
Jumpropeman: to find out the temperature
Jumpropeman: and discuss it
Mid Sheep: JRM
Mid Sheep: is...everything okay?
Draco: What's outside like? I haven't left my house since 2020.
Gooper Blooper: There's an outside?
Gooper Blooper: Oh right! Outside! I remember when people went outside
Gooper Blooper: it was like being inside, but way bigger
Mid Sheep: There's a people?!
---
Jumpropeman climbs a giant naked statue of zeus, realizes that it being naked zeus means I can climb his genitals, climbs back down to do it
Jumpropeman: the character even had a voice line for climbing on it :V
Jumpropeman: I'm playing Assassin's Creed Odyssey but leading with that info isnt as fun
Draco: Oh my~
---
Gooper Blooper: link
RubyChao: i will do my best to make this picture RP canon.
Jumpropeman: you found my account D:
---
Mid Sheep: "Looking down at my copy of Iron Man, with its four price tags as it continued to plummet in price, its broken plastic inside meant to hold the disc, and the inexplicable presence of the manual despite being pre-owned and probably languishing on a Gamestop shelf without any protection for who knows how long, this dinged up copy is a good fit for the game inside."
Mid Sheep: JRM, are you okay?
RubyChao: he is
RubyChao: iron man isn't
---
Gooper Blooper: https://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/4303916
RubyChao: ooh that one is good
Gooper Blooper: https://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/4292783
RubyChao: Peko
RubyChao: https://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/4301765
Gooper Blooper: pekoooooo
Gooper Blooper: it was a slow burn, but I like her more each season
Jumpropeman: by season 13 we will have to physically restrain gooper so he doesn't spend all day demanding Peko from Chao in person
Gooper Blooper: When Peko isn't on a plot, all of Chao's characters should stand around asking 'where's peko'
Jumpropeman: all chao posts must include a mention of Peko at the start and end regardless of her relevancy to the action
RubyChao: let's be real
RubyChao: did ANYONE care about season 8 peko
Gooper Blooper: kaede did
RubyChao: that's true!
RubyChao: and then kaede would regret it if she realized that after becoming a vampire peko would drain all her relevance instead of her blood
Jumpropeman: she feeds on the spotlight
---
Harpy: debating whether to cleanse right now, go straight to sleep, or figure out what the fuck my cat is doing
Harpy: i'm tempted to just sleep and save the purification for tomorrow
Gooper Blooper: like they say in Brooklyn, early to bed, early to catch the worm
Gooper Blooper: or is it the bagel?
Harpy: the bagel.
Harpy: *picture of bagon goes here*
Jumpropeman: BAGEL bagbagel BA gellllllllllllll
Gooper Blooper: DINNER DINNER DINNER SPAGHETTI
---
Jumpropeman: *gets three Firefox Has Stopped Working errors... while firefox continues to work*
Gooper Blooper: the Firefox Has Stopped Working errors have stopped working
Jumpropeman: i've looked at firefox support for similar issues, but like every tech support website all the staff say is "send us literally all the information on your computer and all the error reports and a log of every event that's occurred in your life"
Harpy: tell us about how you used firefox to start up the game hoard
Harpy: and tell us about those pictures of duke you uploaded
Harpy: you're using chatzy?!? how dare you, no wonder firefox keeps exploding
Jumpropeman: i wouldnt blame them for wanting to see the Duke pictures
---
Jumpropeman: I decided to play Catch the Ball again to refresh my distaste for it
Mid Sheep: JRM, why
Jumpropeman: I just wanted to validate my Catch the Ball stance
Gooper Blooper: Good to hear JRM returned to Catch The Ball
Gooper Blooper: it keeps ya coming back
---
Jumpropeman joined the chat
Jumpropeman: howdy
pizza o’ clock: Hi
RubyChao joined the chat
RubyChao: more like
RubyChao: chowdy
pizza o’ clock: kek
The Deleter: Lol
202Ivel joined the chat
The Deleter: Howdy ivel
202Ivel: Hi I'm Woody. Howdy howdy howdy
The Deleter: The greatest scene in film history
---
Jumpropeman: finally
Jumpropeman: Ass Creed Odd has me going to the island of Lesbos
RubyChao: AT LAST
Gooper Blooper: The Kobber mecca!
Jumpropeman: I chose the girl character too
RubyChao: i keep not intending my new cute girls to be lesbians
RubyChao: but then they end up having really good chemistry with other cute girls
RubyChao: and it's like
RubyChao: what am i supposed to do?
Gooper Blooper: not seeing a problem-
---
Jumpropeman: it was so nice to see Bill Clinton nod off during the inauguration
Jumpropeman: politics is boring again!
Gooper Blooper: boring politics
Gooper Blooper: normal press conferences
Gooper Blooper: adults doing adulting
Gooper Blooper: it's all I wanted
---
Dreamweaver: i bought a toy with a battery to make bird noises for cat
Dreamweaver: without realizing the implications
Dreamweaver: 1. *bird noises randomly at night*
Dreamweaver: and 2. he sometimes dumps his toys in the water bowl
Dreamweaver: i do not want to hear the noises that come out after that.
Gooper Blooper: TAKE ME TO THE RIVER
Gooper Blooper: PUT ME IN THE WATER
Dreamweaver: *waterlogged bird noises*
---
Gooper Blooper: link link
Harpy: love it
Jumpropeman: forgot stonjourner exists
Gooper Blooper: I played Swoosh start to finish and never saw Stonjourner once, IIRC, so when I saw it on Bulbapedia I was like "what's that thing"
Harpy: ivel saw one
Harpy: and i'm like
Harpy: "why"
---
Mid Sheep: "Jazz: Trump’s Journey touts itself as a tribute to Louis Armstrong’s life, but don’t expect this to tie into his history at all."
Mid Sheep: Oh.
Mid Sheep: Hmm.
Mid Sheep: "with the game actually lightly tackling the racist issues that at first impede our hero from gaining recognition for his talent"
Mid Sheep nods appreciatively
Mid Sheep: "When characters in cutscenes speak, the game goes for a full on silent movie homage. Already the art style makes the cast look like the old-fashioned rubber hose cartoons, but then the dialogue is delivered on static black screens with white text that follows the lip-flapping it is meant to line up with."
Mid Sheep: "most of the story is there to just string together why the next level involves parade floats or why Trump finds himself platforming through a prison"
Mid Sheep: "The jazz background music is definitely the game’s strongest element, each song catchy and incorporating a good selection of instruments to match the progress of the story."
Mid Sheep: "Trump’s jump is relied on through most of the journey, and yet, it’s not as precise as you might hope, especially when later levels start working in precision jumps where being a little bit off leads to an instant death. It’s no coincidence that Jazz: Trump’s Journey is flush with frequent checkpoints, your one-hit deaths necessitating them to avoid the game becoming a frustrating affair."
Mid Sheep: "but losing because of the slippery jump or spikes dealing damage from the sides becomes rather annoying here. I have played other games on Blacknut since this one, including ones with precise movement requirements, and they played relatively fine, so this seems to be a baked in issue with the design, much in the same way that swinging from cables always feels rather awkward because the cables themselves don’t fluidly move."
Mid Sheep: "The puzzle element of this puzzle platformer derives from Trump’s trumpet, the instrument somehow able to halt the passage of time at will. Play a note on the instrument and the world will freeze until you either play another note or make it to the next subarea of the level."
Mid Sheep: "However, the game also has a lot of objects that just ignore the time stopping powers of your trumpet."
Mid Sheep: "The boss fights don’t even have your trumpet as a part of them. Instead, a man in a white suit stands in your way at different parts and uses your stolen trumpet to attack you with dangerous sour notes."
Jumpropeman: your time stopping title card was particularly cute
Mid Sheep: "A stylish presentation and a time stop mechanic that is put to good use in parts gives people a reason to play Jazz: Trump’s Journey"
Draco: I feel kind of bad that I think of the ex-President when I hear Trump's Journey.
Mid Sheep: "but the little problems nearly take it away."
Jumpropeman: I wouldn't mind if that Trump found himself platforming through a prison :P
Mid Sheep: "It’s a classic mixed bag scenario where the the strengths and weaknesses aren’t exceptional enough in either direction to really define the experience"
Mid Sheep: "Maybe it won’t appeal to many people because of its uneven design, but there might be people out there a jazzy little platformer could appeal to, and they deserve the choice to give it a shot without having to jump through unusual hoops to find it."
Mid Sheep: And finally the end of this gimmick!
Gooper Blooper: So when does Sheep introduce his new character, a film projector Forgotling that projects silent movie captions to talk
Mid Sheep: It'd be too many images in any post they actually tried to talk any length!
Mid Sheep: Because I already considered it!
Mid Sheep: Now that's a good one
Mid Sheep: Alright
Mid Sheep: Let's read about the Vore Frog.
Mid Sheep: Was that in Frogger?
Jumpropeman: yessir
Mid Sheep: Great!
Mid Sheep: Then bringing it up is just awkward enough!
Gooper Blooper: Fantastic, even!
Harpy: i'm disgusted
Jumpropeman: don't kink shame Frogger
---
RubyChao: look at this pure angel
Harpy: wow, its tenshi's sister
Jumpropeman: which of Mary's Beasts flipped her attitude
RubyChao: are you implying that tenshi is not a kind, generous, clean-mouthed soul?
Mid Sheep: Yes.
Mid Sheep: Next question.
---
Jumpropeman: i think I've slept with Aklibiades five times over the course of this game
Jumpropeman: I'm in post game now
Jumpropeman: but I bet there will be more chances for it-
Mid Sheep: "The flashy presentation of Frogger 3D will always have a soft spot in my heart."
RubyChao: enjoying the Aklibiades Everywhere system, jrm?
Mid Sheep: But not as soft a place as Aklibiades, apparently.
Jumpropeman: alkibiades can be very soft, or very hard depending on the situation
Jumpropeman: Alkibiades makes Meiling look like a nun
Jumpropeman: she limits herself to one gender after all
Harpy: aklibiades more like akilibiababe
Draco: wao
Jumpropeman: here's our man of the hour
Harpy: dionysis is that you-
Jumpropeman: you can sleep with him in the temple of dionysis :V
Harpy: chaCHING
Jumpropeman: another quest he has you steal an olisbos aka the ancient greek version of a dildo V:
Gooper Blooper: is this it, is this the porn game that gets high marks
Jumpropeman: the game doesn't show you any of the dirty stuff so it misses the porn mark
Jumpropeman: the only wieners and boobs are on statues
Gooper Blooper: alas
Harpy: well
Harpy: A for effort
Jumpropeman: TNA for effort
Draco: Obviously a Disaster Report then.
Jumpropeman: as mentioned before, Alkibiades is crafty and horny, so stealing the olisbos isn't just for fun, it's so the lady you take it from's husband has to return from fighting in the war to keep her happy
Draco: @_@
Jumpropeman: Alkibiades is too late for Salvagerplot right? :V
RubyChao: just gotta hold onto him until the next collab megaplot...
Draco: Alkibiades teams up with Mr. Hippo to form the New Neo-Curse.
Harpy: i'm sure he'd be crafty and ruin said plot
Draco: And he'd be horny, so...um....I don't know.
Harpy: *opens mouth*
Harpy: *reconsiders*
Mid Sheep motions for the snipers to stand down
Draco: Sheep has to keep his secrets.
Harpy: fine. keep your secrets.
---
Harpy: https://egberts.tumblr.com/post/641071110662881280
Gooper Blooper: rude but true
Harpy: i'll take two ugly pikachus please
Gooper Blooper: >Brand: Tomy
Gooper Blooper: yeah I bet
MobileDraco: I'll take it! One can never have enough ugly Pikachus.
---
Draco: link
Jumpropeman: is sanae the middle ground to balance out their extremes?
Draco: Yes. All of her expressions are very neutral.
---
Jumpropeman joined the chat
Jumpropeman: boip
Draco: D: The prophecy has come true!
Jumpropeman boip echoes through the mountains
pizza o’ clock joined the chat
Draco: Speaking of echoes, I had a weird dream last night that Claire and Clownpiece were hanging out. Suddenly, Clownpiece revealed that she knew they were doing something non-canon and kissed Claire, declaring them a couple. The dream then suddenly shifted into one of me looking for my Pokemon Card binder in a hotel after a convention.
pizza o’ clock: Clownpiece pls
Jumpropeman: even in your dreams she's got metatextual awareness XD
Draco: Obviously Claire used her powers to make my dream something else so they could have privacy. XD
RubyChao: i'm laughing that clownpiece ALWAYS knows what's up
---
RubyChao: so the antipiracy thing is a played out meme, yes, but i think this is just neat on a technical level
RubyChao: the guy made a custom minigame
RubyChao: that takes effort!
RubyChao: i want to remind you that this random innocent was turned into a zombie, entered in a fite, and utterly destroyed
RubyChao: truly
RubyChao: the kobbers are the real monsters.
Gooper Blooper: chao are you saying
Gooper Blooper: that it's ALL OUR FAULT
RubyChao: yes.
RubyChao: yes i am.
Gooper Blooper: i love my sega saturn, sega made th besnt game consols
Gooper Blooper: but saturn dint do so well in Dear USA so its hard to get new gams
Gooper Blooper: furtunately there was new game store open last week, it called SEGA MEMORIES
Gooper Blooper: it sold all kinds of old used sega games, not new junk like call of doody
Jumpropeman: oh snap I think I know where this is going
Gooper Blooper: I was in the mood for some good old fashioned sega sports games
RubyChao: saaaaygaaaa
Gooper Blooper: and that's when I saw it, the leggendery Pebble Beach Golf Links staring my childhood hero, Craig Stadler
Jumpropeman: yesssss
Gooper Blooper: the pric tag was worn but the cashier said I could have it for free, no refunds
Gooper Blooper: so I took it home and popped in the disc, turnin on my drusty sega saturn. I was redy for som golf
Gooper Blooper: but the tittle scren was diffrent... instead of Pebble Beach Golf Links, it said...........
Gooper Blooper: Rubble Ditch Golf Hell.
Jumpropeman: rubble ditch, my favorite golf course
Gooper Blooper: at first everything seemed normal, the video was kinda grainy but it was a 90s gam so I kinda expectedt hat
RubyChao: OH NO
Gooper Blooper: Craig Stadler appeared and him bein there reassured me. It was just a glitch, of course, I laughed to myself
Gooper Blooper: he gave the first hole intro and everythin was fine, it was just like I saw on youtube, nothin out of place. Craig played super good, I couldn't catch him at all!
Gooper Blooper: but that was okay, it was fun just playing through and learning how to golf. By the end I feld like I was geddin better
Gooper Blooper: so we do the 18th hole and I'm ready to stop, but then the golf mamba hole intro started up again, and the announcer said "hole 19"
RubyChao: not hole 19...
Gooper Blooper: craig stadler gave his intro, he said "Nineteenth hole is a pretty tricky hole, you need to stay away from the sand traps, it's xtra super important. Around here you want to use your nine iron, but if the ball's in the trap you should just take the loss and move on"
RubyChao: was it all sand traps...
Gooper Blooper: Craig and I were playing along with a third player, some lady named McGuire, and she wasnt doing so well. Kept hitting all the sand traps in earlier holes, so of course she hit the sand trap in this one too
Gooper Blooper: Craig popped up and said "McGuire, you should take the penalty." That was weird, hed never talked directly to a CPU golfer befor
Gooper Blooper: but she didn't listen and tried to get the ball out of the trap instead
Gooper Blooper: thats when we found out that it wasnt a sand trap
Gooper Blooper: it was.............. A QUICKSAND TRAP
202Ivel: 😱
Harpy: go very, very slow
Gooper Blooper: McGuire was stuck and I couldn't do anything. Craig appeared and said "I warned her. Let's move on." And the hole ended once me and Craig sank our shots
RubyChao: craig
RubyChao: how could you...
Gooper Blooper: I never saw her again, and her scorecard stopped recording her scores......
Jumpropeman: you don't get where stadler is today unless you know what human sacrifices must be made
Gooper Blooper: onto the 20th hole, but during the intro, instead of an overhead map, the screen was just... green. Nothin but green
Gooper Blooper: 'Hole 20' the announcer said. 'Par eight million'.
Gooper Blooper: Craig appeared and said "no one has ever finished the twentieth hole. We won't be the first."
RubyChao: :worry:
Gooper Blooper: the golf course seemed to stretch on forever into infinity, beyond the horizon. I couldn't see any landmarks so I just hit th ball as hard as I could. Craig told me it was a 'super shot' so that was engouraging
Gooper Blooper: craig hit the ball a little bit harder than me, so he was a little further a head
Gooper Blooper: over n over we hit the ball, he kept hittin a little better as we advanced across the green grass that went on and on, he was gettin further and further ahead
Gooper Blooper: soon I couldnt see him or his ball any more
Gooper Blooper: he appeared in the corner one last time, lookin hyper-realistically faded, like an old color photo from the 60s
Gooper Blooper: All he said was "I liked playing golf with you. Goodbye."
RubyChao: ;_;
Harpy: that's
Jumpropeman: hyperrealistic Craig
Jumpropeman: every man's dream
Harpy: you sure you aren't nostalgiapasta-ing me
Harpy: oh no
Gooper Blooper: I got scared n turned it off, and... it actually turned off! But then I opened the Saturn and......... it was emptedy.
Jumpropeman: nooooo
RubyChao: he left you...
Harpy: oh no
Harpy: my dad abandoned me
Gooper Blooper: My saturn has never don anythin weird like that again, but sometimes, when I'm very tired, I think I see craig stadler appearing in the corner of my vision, smiling his walrus smile, for just a momento
Gooper Blooper: goodbye craig stadler..............
Gooper Blooper: the end
Harpy: this is the saddest
Jumpropeman: "smiling his walrus smile"
Gooper Blooper: link
Jumpropeman: "A man clearly on a mission, Craig Stadler strode grim-faced to the driving range at the TPC Course just before noon Wednesday, gripping a sandwich in one hand and a wedge in the other."
Draco: Craig Stadler will be JRM's next Brawl Champ.
Harpy: he's the new announcer.
Draco: One of Craig's powers is he can kill someone if you ask him to.
Jumpropeman: craig stadler, clint hurdle, mario andretti
Jumpropeman: I'm making an athlete stable
Draco: JRM will dominate the next Olympics Fites.
Jumpropeman: Craig Stadler, hear his cry advice
Draco: Alright, so you've made the Top Ten in the Brawl. Here's what you wanna do: it's a long shot to Dawn's head, so you're gonna want to use a Driver until you're close and then use your Putter to finish her off.
Gooper Blooper: *mamba music intensifies*
Draco: Silver Niesen vs Craig Stadler
Harpy: yes
Draco: A battle for the ages.
Jumpropeman: link
RubyChao: well jrm
Draco: A perfect likeness!
RubyChao: i got you mario andretti action figure...
Jumpropeman: link
RubyChao: why does clint look like a wizard
Jumpropeman: apparently they didn't want to make a clint hurdle bobblehead
Jumpropeman: so they made him a gnome
Jumpropeman: "Gnomes have become the new bobblehead in sports.
While bobbleheads are still wildly popular, gnomes are starting to make their way throughout all sports as a popular giveaway.
The gnomes tend to feature the most popular bearded players on a team, but they also occasionally are made for players or coaches who can’t grow facial hair."
Draco: Time to get JRM the Craig Stadler...signed card.
Jumpropeman: link
Jumpropeman: woah, look at him on the back
Harpy: YEAAAH
Jumpropeman: guys
Jumpropeman: this lines up with zfrp too much
Harpy: welp
Jumpropeman: there's even a netrunner card game box in the background
Jumpropeman: I was just hoping to find a piece of Craig fan art
Jumpropeman: but I will settle for this Inexplicably Not Connected to ZFRP Despite All Evidence image instead
Jumpropeman: oh wait
Jumpropeman: found the fan art
Harpy: nice!
---
Harpy: watching dog grooming and
Harpy: how good IS gaston, actually.
---
202Ivel: why tho
Draco: ...yikes.
Draco: Those 'Minions' look awful.
RubyChao: oh my god
RubyChao: 2013???
RubyChao: this looks like it's from the early 90s
Draco: How many filters did they need to distort his body to look like Gru?
Gooper Blooper: oh man I think I saw this years back
Mid Sheep: oh no
Jumpropeman: oh
RubyChao: o
---
RubyChao: alright sheep
RubyChao: it's time for soaps
Mid Sheep left the chat
(later)
N Goat: I shall return for...
N Goat sigh
N Goat: Fire Force.
Jumpropeman: Fire Force every time sheep is forced to watch it
RubyChao: notice it even has a tamaki there
---
Jumpropeman: I just got in a fight where five anime girls all fight their duplicates
Jumpropeman: problem is they all talk while fighting
Jumpropeman: and so do their copies
RubyChao: HERE WE GO
RubyChao: HERE WE GO
RubyChao: HERE WE GO
Jumpropeman: so it's just an onslaught of anime lady noises. I paused and it was still playing them because it had such a backlog to get through
Gooper Blooper: what game is this
Harpy: least its not an onslaught of horny anime lady noises.
Jumpropeman: School Girl Zombie Hunter
RubyChao: you mean tragically it's not, harpy
RubyChao: well that's a title.
Jumpropeman: let me see if I can find the fight on youtube
Gooper Blooper: fantastic
Jumpropeman: 4:04, there are spoilers if you even care V:
Jumpropeman: also gunshots aplenty
Mid Sheep joined the chat
Jumpropeman: hi sheep
RubyChao: hey sheep
Draco: Hi Sheep!
Mid Sheep: Why are there school girl zombie hunters in my chatzy?
Jumpropeman: god, the person in the video is even using a rocket launcher just to add to the cacophony
Mid Sheep: "an onslaught of anime lady noises"
Mid Sheep: Has to be the name of someone's internet album
RubyChao: holy shit
RubyChao: i thought jrm was kidding about the sheer cacaphony
Jumpropeman: i literally cannot think of something that bad in any other game
---
Gooper Blooper: https://i.redd.it/8ay8k0ideyb11.png
Jumpropeman: cutepire
Draco: She's hypnotized those animals into being her friends! D:
Gooper Blooper: so evil
RubyChao: someone has to strike her down
RubyChao: IN THE BRAWL
Gooper Blooper: plot twist: she wins
---
Jumpropeman: someone made a Blasto christmas ornament
RubyChao: MER
RubyChao: RY
---
(JRM plays FNAF)
Jumpropeman: after saying I was getting owned by Springtrap
Jumpropeman: I cleared Nights 3 and 4 without incident
Jumpropeman: I just had to realize he almost always starts in camera 10
Jumpropeman: of course after saying that he spawns at camera 6 and all my systems go haywire before I can deal with him V:
pizza o’ clock: rip
Dobile Mel: Five nights at jrms
Dobile Mel: I missed how 1 and 2 treated you, I'll have to look back
202Ivel: I forget which game did it, but I remember The Completionist had to stop playing FNAF games due to the max difficulty settings
202Ivel: for his own sanity
Jumpropeman: the FNAF reviews won't go up til October since this year's halloween "theme" of sorts will be covering a few of the FNAF series games
Jumpropeman: but I will say that Balloon Boy can go inhale :I
Dobile Mel: Hahaha
Jumpropeman: two is a fustercluck of animatronics
Dobile Mel: Now you know where that comes from
Dobile Mel: Balloon boy is the worst
Dobile Mel: Yeah two is the most uh
Dobile Mel: Plate spinny?
Jumpropeman: that's a good way of describing it
Dobile Mel: Watching people who are good play it is wild, they basically don't spend any time in the camera except to wind up the music box for like a half second
Jumpropeman: there's barely any reason to open cameras besides the music box, Balloon Boy doesn't show up unless he's right there in the vent and the others can be handled with clutch mask use or flashlight spam
Dobile Mel: Yeah it's uh
Dobile Mel: It doesn't play like you feel it should
(later)
Jumpropeman: I kicked Springtrap's booty
Harpy: back into RP? damn son he should stop doing that shindig over the offseason
Jumpropeman: it was interesting to see him actually being scary
---
Jumpropeman: https://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/4271003
Harpy: nnnnnooo
Jumpropeman: bad end
Jumpropeman: grove dies
Draco: Canon.
Jumpropeman joined the chat
Draco: Hi JRM.
Jumpropeman: the only way to permanently kill eternity
Draco: It was also canon that JRM left chat.
---
RubyChao: i refound this screenshot of Kiryu in the underground fighting ring in one game and i like how there's just
RubyChao: a tiger
RubyChao: someone allowed a tiger into this coliseum
Harpymobile: ah, yes
Harpymobile: the tiger king's gotta make money somehow
202Ivel: Akira Yamaoka though
202Ivel: a tiger and the Silent Hill composer both in this fighting ring
Mbhglefsh Sheep joined the chat
RubyChao: hello Chuckster Sheep
Mbhglefsh Sheep: Who let this tiger in here?!
---
Jumpropeman: apparently, caves are mapped like they're medieval fantasy worlds
Jumpropeman: with places with names like Helmet Eater, Scout Eater, Aorta Crawl, Vein Alley, and The Crack
Jumpropeman: which all sound like places where monsters would be in Middle-Earth
Jumpropeman: or some sort of magic abnormality
(later)
Jumpropeman: another cave map
Jumpropeman: with names like Belly of the Whale, Miller's Chapel, Ghost Room, and the Throne Room
Jumpropeman: just in case you need inspiration for portions of your World of Warcraft dungeon
---
Gooper Blooper: I mentioned this to Draco earlier but I had a funny realization about The Coven
Draco: OH???????????
Gooper Blooper: (lel draco) I was thinking about what I wanted out of the group, trying to solidify what exactly The Coven actually is, and I worked out that the founder (who you will meet in an eventual blogpost, those of you I haven't already told) wanted to connect young witches and mages together to give them better opportunity and leverage in Agama by working together and supporting one another in various endeavors
Gooper Blooper: And that's when it hit me
Gooper Blooper: It's a damn witches' union
Gooper Blooper: Total accident!
Harpy: unionization?!?
Harpy: *sonia enters the chat*
Gooper Blooper: these girls are unionized!
Harpy: uh oh union busting plot incoming
Harpy: seriously though
Harpy: yes
Harpy: *spoken like someone who has like too many fuckin mages*
---
Gooper Blooper: Of all my niche interests, Goopsmom thinks my fascination with the ephemera of dead and dying stores is the weirdest one
Harpy: momento mori
Draco: She doesn't know about the Mothman shrine.
Gooper Blooper: She's on board for the Godzilla and Battlebots but she draws the line at Ames fandom
Draco: XD
Draco: Ames t-shirts exist, just so you know.
---
RubyChao: i made a slight but important adjustment to my recent touhou sorting
RubyChao: to reflect current conditions
Jumpropeman: you completely erased Reimu, how cruel
202Ivel: Reiwho?
Draco: Reimu! You know, Red Sanae?
Gooper Blooper: I extend my congratulations to teshni for seemingly pulling off the impossible and becoming your favorite years after you retired her
RubyChao: that's why it took a while to click!
RubyChao: she hasn't been regular in years (except for her s10 return) but
RubyChao: here she is
Draco: Weird Picture: https://i.imgur.com/ZhaLrcG.jpg
Harpy: cursed.
Harpy: also my pjs are cursed
Draco: Tenshi is cursed....to be adorable.
Harpy: it itches :I
---
---
Gooper Blooper: link
Jumpropeman: the face when someone thinks they're funny saying TUNE TUNE in reply to NEP NEP
MobileDraco: "What's it like to be a Nep?" <- About what it's like to be a Okuu.
Jumpropeman: we need a Head Empty Club in RP
Gooper Blooper: We used to have one!
Gooper Blooper: The Derpkateers!
MobileDraco: It's called the Neon Pink Pulverizers Minus Honey.
MobileDraco: Not to be confused with the Pink Neon Pulverizers.
Gooper Blooper: more nep
Jumpropeman: what about the Neon Pulverizing Pinks?
202Ivel: Nep!
Gooper Blooper: Pink Pulverize Neons
Gooper Blooper: one more nep
RubyChao: i demand another nep after this
Gooper Blooper: FINE
202Ivel: never enough Nep
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