pizza o’ clock: I overslept this morning
pizza o’ clock: you could set my morning to the saved by the bell theme and it would be accurate
---
RubyChao: here is a fun fact
RubyChao: that will make you all feel old
RubyChao: today i taught pitohui about Half-Life: Full Life Consequences
Gooper Blooper: pitohui has wepon
Draco: I forgot Pitohui is in diapers.
RubyChao: [4:45 PM] Hooded Pitohui: I hate (read: enjoy) how much the choice of music and the camera panning at the "Saver of humens" segment makes this feel like a serious ending.
It's great after so much time watching this glorious steaming pile of meme garbage.
Draco: Full Life Consequences starring Biscotti
---
pizza o’ clock: I just read that chatzy madness
pizza o’ clock: and jrm you need to explain what the fuck the Jailers are
pizza o’ clock: because the name alone is giving me the shivers
pizza o’ clock: Like i know it’s a story you told your step nephew to keep him quiet but
pizza o’ clock: what did you tell him about the jailers
Jumpropeman: I don't remember too much of what was said, but the Jailers watch and listen for bad little kids who break the rules and come scoop them up and throw them in the old-fashioned kind of prison with iron bars.
pizza o’ clock: That’s some premium nightmare fuel right there
Jumpropeman: I wonder if he even remembers, I haven't seen him in ages
pizza o’ clock: I c
Jumpropeman: because the Jailers scooped him up obviously
Deleton King: thats some dr who villain material right there
Deleton King: chatzy madness confirms harp's cat is sprinkles
---
Draco: When I downloaded Opera on my new PC, it came with a built-in VPN. Because of that VPN, I just got to see a Dutch drill commercial.
Jumpropeman: lucky draco D: I don't get ANY drill commercials
Draco: Someday you'll get to go to Spatula City, I promise.
Jumpropeman: is that where Spongebob gets his spatula in the first episode of The 'Bob
Draco: The holy site, yes.
---
Jumpropeman: when I did the missingno trick the first time to get a billion rare candies, for some reason Parasect was one of the Pokemon I pumped up to 100
SUCK IT, KURT!: i mean
SUCK IT, KURT!: spore.
rustivel: welp
Jumpropeman: yes, Parasect does enjoy playing EA's hit game Spore so he's pretty cool
SUCK IT, KURT!: i should do a gen 1 paras run because I know, as hard as it will be, it'll be 1. fucking hilarious and 2. GEN 1 SLEEP SO FUCKIN BROKE
Jumpropeman: once that paras is up to speed
Jumpropeman: no eye in kanto will remain open
SUCK IT, KURT!: good thing brock's eyes are closed!
---
Jumpropeman: Alright, you are Saturn's little pogchamp, come here
---
festivel: "VioletHarps: don't pick your nose or it'll get as big as eggert's and your face won't handle it-"
festivel: Don't pick your nose or the Gooper Blooper will steal it FOREVER
sick harpy: Goops Betrayed Us
Jumpropeman: that's what happened to the chick from Deponia
sick harpy: Goops stole her nose!??
Jumpropeman: I've never played it but it always stuck out to me the hero has a nose but she doesn't
Jumpropeman: I bet she's a different species or something
festivel: oh man I forgot about that
Jumpropeman: but at a glance that's not obvious
festivel: but now it bothers me so much, again
festivel: thanks jrm
---
Gooper Blooper: >Ringo from Puyo
Gooper Blooper: Nice try Akinator
Gooper Blooper: let's go another round
Gooper Blooper: man, Akinator, you seemed like you were on track at first but you totally screwed up
Gooper Blooper: His final attempt at guessing Jenny LeClue was the Oof meme from Roblox
RubyChao: what can i say except oof
Gooper Blooper: I'm stunned. Akinator didn't know Red from Unredtale.
Gooper Blooper: He even managed to ask "is your character connected to Undertale", "does your character fight with a sword", "is your character a redhead", and "does your character wear a hood" and still didn't get it
RubyChao: :O
RubyChao: akinator
RubyChao: you are a failure
Draco: Pfffft. Akinator thinks he's so great. He needed almost FORTY questions to guess the Hunter from Halo.
Gooper Blooper: okay akinator, let's do an easy one so I know you still work
Gooper Blooper: can he guess sumireko usami, the big nerd
Gooper Blooper: THERE we go, took him one wrong guess but he finally asked "are they from Touhou" and that got him down the right path
Gooper Blooper: Sumi was last played on september 12 of this year. Imagine going three months without thinking about Sumireko.
Draco: Oof. It got the Tarrasque.
Draco: I defeated him with... Hildibrand Manderville.
Draco: Clearly Akinator is not very refined to have been stumped by the Gentleman Inspector Extraordinaire!
Gooper Blooper: He got Rexy, though he clearly wanted it to be Blue ("is your character in a team of four?") and tried the Indoraptor first
Gooper Blooper: "Character already played 89104 times"
Gooper Blooper: bitches love rexy
Draco: I defeated Akinator with the Guncannon after he guessed the Gundam.
Gooper Blooper: "is your character from anime" "does your character have orange hair" "does your character sell bread" HAH, NICE TRY
RubyChao: :D
Gooper Blooper: "is your character associated with Pokemon" "does your character travel with Ash" "is your character a gym leader" "does your character associate with plants" Oh.
Draco: ;p
RubyChao: owned
Draco: Brock is a notorious weed dealer.
RubyChao: he got Sally
RubyChao: darn, spamming yes didn't get us that old classic "someone who says yes all the time"
RubyChao: when's Akinator in RP
Draco: Season 20 when Goops needs another meta joke villain.
Gooper Blooper: Found the villain for my Christmas special
Jumpropeman: this is barely a song
Gooper Blooper: I know. XD
---
Jumpropeman: I was super tired today for some reason
Jumpropeman: I think I accumulate sleep debt or something
Jumpropeman: and then randomly it demands payment
Jumpropeman: it's like a loan shark, but it smacks me over the head with a cool pillow and wraps my body in a comfy blanket
pizza o’ clock: The lamest loan shark :P
---
Jumpropeman: helloooooo boys and girls, and welcome to the Cyberpunk 2077 shitshow
Jumpropeman: go to 3:40 to watch a man crash into walls that take seconds to load in after! 12:58 to watch half a gym suddenly appear before your very eyes!
The Deleter: Hey
The Deleter: Yesssss
The Deleter: I have schaudenfreude for this game's failures
Jumpropeman: 16:50 most of a market doesnt load and the characters who do are PS1 quality models
Jumpropeman: also the enemy aggression for the section doesn't trigger so the guy guns down everyone uncontested
Jumpropeman: 18:01 for a t pose
Jumpropeman: and then after that the player is hit repeatedly by invisible cars
festivel: I'd say this is why you don't buy games like this day 1 but at the same time I would love to see this stuff :U
festivel: just because of how bad it is
Jumpropeman: I'd say this video starts slow but at 16:50 on it is getting really wild
Jumpropeman: some reviewers said Cyberpunk 2077's story was surprisingly light on the genre's typical corporate critique, but today people are saying maybe the game release itself is a meta critique on awful corporations ;p
The Deleter: There's an actual line in the game about how a corporation has been rated as the best to work for because you only work an 80 hour week
The Deleter: Fuck off Cd projekt
Jumpropeman: how dare CK Projekt Red so blatantly insert themselves in the game like that
Jumpropeman: I expected some hype backlash for this game inevitably, but I didn't know there would be so much ammo for it
---
Jumpropeman: Pokemon Cafe Mix nominated for best mobile game, lel
sick harpy: i dunno why
Jumpropeman: I forgot it existed like three days after its reveal
Draco: Whoopee. Mobile Game awards. Just slap some JPGs together and put in as many egregious microtransactions as you can and boom there's a game.
RubyChao: :D
Jumpropeman: don't be so cynical draco! You can also take a match three template and apply a license can of paint over it for a mobile game too!
sick harpy: shake shake
Draco: Good point, JRM. ;-;7
Jumpropeman: "As gamers, you are just generally better humans," FINALLY someone gets it
---
RubyChao: "When the Canadian Football League launched a brief, ill-fated expansion into the US in the mid-'90s, one of the "highlights" was when Dennis K. C. Parks, a Las Vegas lounge singer, was brought on at the last minute to perform "O Canada" to open a game between the Las Vegas Posse and the Saskatchewan Roughriders. Having never heard the song performed live before, he sang it to the tune of "O Christmas Tree" and botched the lyrics"
Gooper Blooper: OH CANADA, OH CANADA, HOW LOVELY ARE THY HOCKEY
---
sick harpy: "You have been earning rave reviews for the "authentic" feel of your wrestling show. Truth is, not only is the fighting real, but so are the bizarre storylines and outlandish rivalries - you are struggling to keep everything together."
sick harpy: so the Brawl with 0 context
Jungle 2 Jungle: My wrestling show with dismemberment and decapitation
sick harpy: "haha he didn't really die right"
---
sick harpy: almost done reading my new mystery book btw
RubyChao: buk
sick harpy: you can tell if someone's evil even if they're not the main murderer if they hurt a dog
Gooper Blooper: I'm instantly reminded of Chao's old plot where he had his villain punch Top Dog and everyone went ">punching a dog"
RubyChao: same
sick harpy: a dog has been hurt and i love how the protagonist just immediately calls that person, whose name we don't know, "Evil Woman"
sick harpy: like, damn, took the words out of our mouths, bless you
---
Gooper Blooper: today's discovery: I went to Dollar Tree and they're trying to do their own version of The Corps Elite vs The Curse
Gooper Blooper: an ad for it
Jungle 2 Jungle: Final faction plot when
sick harpy: sorry i'm on the faction with robot dog
sick harpy: i'm buying all his merch
Gooper Blooper: It was the first thing I thought of, yes :V
sick harpy: i care 0% for anyone else
Gooper Blooper: the dog is wave 2 and isn't out yet
sick harpy: Cure and Corps!! vs Final Factions
sick harpy: coming 2030
RubyChao: well
RubyChao: i have my new megaplot now
sick harpy: sorry dog's mine now
Gooper Blooper: I wanted the aliens but they weren't there, but I did buy ACRM, the robot on the far right
sick harpy: (kidding... for now)
Gooper Blooper: "Churro is Steadfast’s feisty and fun-loving pet Chihuahua.
He has his own Canine Mech which he controls to aid in battle.
His secret weapon, the Sonic Boom Bark, is used to deafen and distract his enemies.
Steadfast’s cookies are one of Churro’s favorite treats!
Action figure not available at this time."
sick harpy: BOI
sick harpy: THIS DOG HAS A FUCKING MECH?
sick harpy: this dude's a fucking planeswarden
Gooper Blooper: ACRM is also a mech and is piloted by "Boyd, a 15-year-old disabled boy"
sick harpy: LETS
sick harpy: FUCKIN
sick harpy: GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Draco: Damn, Churro. You got it.
Gooper Blooper: Apparently they're even going to introduce a vehicle into the line, and I was baffled at first because how do you make a vehicle for 3.75-scale figures and sell it for a dollar
sick harpy: oh shit
Draco: Very carefully.
sick harpy: also whomst is steadfast?
Gooper Blooper: this is how they pulled it off
Gooper Blooper: a dollar for the barebones car, then another dollar for the armor
sick harpy: and accessories sold separately
Draco: ...HORSE ARMOR
Draco: DLC FOR YOUR DUNE BUGGY
Gooper Blooper: at last, the buggy armor to go with your horse armor
sick harpy: i mean its for a dollar i suppose
Gooper Blooper: but yeah they're pretty neato and not as jank as some other cheapo figs I've seen
Gooper Blooper: Oh, I didn't answer Harpy! This is Steadfast, he's the good guy leader
sick harpy: dude looks sick man
sick harpy: like, fuckin gnarly and awesome
sick harpy: i'd grab him
sick harpy: can't believe his dog pilots a mecha
Gooper Blooper: "Steadfast is the leader of Alpha Team 1 and is highly experienced in special operations combat rescue.
Born and raised in the U.S.A.
He lost his left arm when he was gravely injured during the first Kharn raid. He now has a mechanized arm and cybernetic eye.
He loves to cook and bake desserts for his team to keep up morale.
Let it be known: you better earn that cookie under his watch!"
sick harpy: BRUH
sick harpy: NO WAY
RubyChao: that is pure Harpchar energy
Gooper Blooper: earn that cookie
Draco: The CORPS has rivals now. X)
sick harpy: Steadfast: "THAT SPIDER EARNED THAT COOKIE! GET THAT COOKIE, YAMS!"
sick harpy: Churro has no idea why he's watching Kobber-related soap operas
sick harpy: i'm not rescinding that statement.
---
(Re: Game Hoard)
Draco: JRM has given TWO games a Fantastic lately and I'm beginning to think Naughty Dog has bought his opinion too. >:I
Jungle 2 Jungle: Everyone shocked by a little positivity :V
Gooper Blooper: You may have gotten rid of your old "he likes bad games haha" image to become the omnigamer, but we do see Fantastics pretty rarely since you're usually wallowing in the obscure and most obscure games aren't good enough to get top honors
Draco: I admit he MIGHT be justified in giving that obscure "Kirby: Soup or Starve" or whatever it was a Fantastic though.
Draco: ;V
RubyChao: it's true!
RubyChao: one fantastic wouldn't have surprised me
Jungle 2 Jungle: Kirby Soup or Starve sounds like a fun minigame
RubyChao: which is why i didn't react with outer wilds until someone else said HE'S COPYING POLYGON
Draco: It's true though: JRM is Mr. Polygon.
Jungle 2 Jungle: Reaching into the pile randomly was bound to produce this result. If that donald duck game got a Fantastic though then we would really be talking
Gooper Blooper: If only!
Draco: One day, we'll go buy the most random Steam game we can for JRM and it'll be Fantastic.
Draco: Man, I kind of want to have a bowl of cereal.
Jungle 2 Jungle: Sorry drac, your only choices are soup or starve
Gooper Blooper: soup or cereal
Gooper Blooper: the war continues
RubyChao asked Chatzy to choose between soup and cereal. Chatzy chose: cereal
RubyChao: chatzy agrees with draco!
RubyChao: BANISH JRM
Jungle 2 Jungle was banned from chat for being SO WRONG
Draco: BV
Draco: I admittedly ate the soup yesterday for lunch.
---
Gooper Blooper joined the chat
Gooper Blooper: https://youtube.com/watch?v=V08Eiw6Rf2s
sick harpy: hi goops
sick harpy: donk
RubyChao: hey goops
Jumpropeman: the reign of sekibanki begins
sick harpy: as it should
Gooper Blooper: she's here.
---
RubyChao: i just found a very sheepcore cartoon
RubyChao: "The Owl House is an animated fantasy/horror comedy series produced by Disney Television Animation and created by Dana Terrace (Gravity Falls, DuckTales (2017)). The show premiered on January 10, 2020, serving as the first Disney Channel series of the 2020s.
Luz Noceda (Sarah Nicole Robles) is an enthusiastic teenage girl with an overwhelming love for the macabre. One day, whilst en route to summer camp, she stumbles upon a portal to the Demon Realm of the Boiling Islands: a mystical dimension from where all of Earth's myths originate. Upon her arrival, she finds herself crossing paths with Eda, a rebellious witch (Wendie Malick) and her adorably tiny, feisty monster roommate King (Alex Hirsch), who make their home in the titular abode.
Though she initially wishes to return to Earth, Luz quickly takes to her magical new environment and makes herself Eda's apprentice, despite lacking any innate magic abilities of her own. Thus begins her journey as a witch-in-training; discovering the secrets of her new home, making new friends, trying new things, and figuring out where she truly belongs."
RubyChao: with an episode on the background
RubyChao: i can confirm it feels like something you'd like
Jumpropeman: :I
Jumpropeman: :I
Jumpropeman: I've been hounding him to watch it
Jumpropeman: it is p. good
Jumpropeman: it carries the gravity falls torch well while still being a unique thing
Matry-o Sheep: Oh!
Matry-o Sheep: I've watched some of it!
Matry-o Sheep: Up to the bit where the owl on the staff gets taken in by the Bat Queen
Jumpropeman adds Eda to gooper's witch coven while he's distracted
Matry-o Sheep: Eda is, decidedly, not cute!
Jumpropeman: hey!
Jumpropeman: she's foxy!
Matry-o Sheep: Cute is not part of her personal aesthe-JRM, pls
Draco adds Ranamon to the Coven.
Matry-o Sheep: RANAMON IS NEVER COMING BAAAAAAAACK
Draco: Maybe not, Sheep, but Ranamon JOKES will. :3c
Matry-o Sheep: Draco, that's how you end up getting Renamon in RP
Matry-o Sheep: and then no one is happy
Gooper Blooper: I'd only want "Ranamon to come back" if it was someone else RPing a completely different Ranamon a la Chao doing the asshole Gardevoir and then Draco bringing in Gardetto. I assume most Digimon are species rather than individuals.
Gooper Blooper: everything else is just jokes
Matry-o Sheep: Yeah, there are other Ranamons
Jumpropeman brings in a Ranamon who is a sadistic jerk unlike Sheep's kind, sweet soul
Matry-o Sheep: :I
Gooper Blooper: I think everyone agreed with Sheep that his Ranamon was in fact an awful little thing, it was just people's digimon nostalgia mixing in there that gave people an attachment
RubyChao: pretty much
RubyChao: but someday sheep WILL rp a cute girl
RubyChao: and be stuck with her
Gooper Blooper: Junko Saten
Matry-o Sheep: Highly unlikely
Jumpropeman: haehyun?
Draco: "RubyChao: and be stuck with her"
Gooper Blooper: Haehyun too yep
Matry-o Sheep: Never heard of them
Draco: Sheep has lots of cute girls, but they don't stick around. :(
Jumpropeman: camilla?
Matry-o Sheep: and Haehyun doesn't count!
Matry-o Sheep: She's in an old man mech!
Matry-o Sheep: Camilla was distinguished
Matry-o Sheep: not cute
Matry-o Sheep: :I
Draco: Haehyun is eligible for the "Cute girls in mechs" Fite I will be hosting in 20XX. :V
Gooper Blooper: *enters Eggette*
Draco: Eggette is NOT eligible. BI
RubyChao: *enters kappa*
Draco: Okay, Mitsuo is eligible.
Matry-o Sheep enters Cyber Demolisher
Jumpropeman: got undeniable proof that Camilla is cute right here Sheep
Matry-o Sheep: Slander!
Matry-o Sheep: Sabotage!
RubyChao: i was expecting camilla cosplaying as futo
RubyChao: which was just adorable
Gooper Blooper: me too
Matry-o Sheep: Weather balloons!
Gooper Blooper: I made her entirely too cute in that picture
Draco: You really did.
Jumpropeman: Sheep would just say that's Futo
Matry-o Sheep: Because it is!
Gooper Blooper: Futo's paler!
Matry-o Sheep: It was a very sunny day!
Matry-o Sheep: Weather balloons!
Jumpropeman: a lot of weather balloons
Jumpropeman: surprised you can even see the sky
Draco: Weather balloons carrying a banner that says "Camilla is cute."
Gooper Blooper draws the most adorable kawaii chibi junko saten ever
Matry-o Sheep: Aurora Borealis!
Jumpropeman calls in Jisatsu to draw Haehyun and Camilla putting bows in each others hair
Draco: *funds it*
Jumpropeman: imagine if after I did all the cute Jisatsu commissions I came to him like "Can you draw Basu splitting open the stomach of Pillbox for my friend's Christmas gift"
Gooper Blooper: XD
Matry-o Sheep: He must bow Jonryoku's beard!
Matry-o Sheep: Basu going to have to hide inside Pillbox's entrails to sleep out the nuclear sandstorm.
Matry-o Sheep: One day, we're going to go to their home planet and it's going to be Green Hell travel sequences all over again.
Matry-o Sheep: There's a reason the Kapoorians invented teleportation technology
Gooper Blooper: the kapoorians turn out to do most of their travel through little tubes like they're ferrets
Gooper Blooper: Chao brings Samus so she can morph ball through them
---
RubyChao: wow
RubyChao: they went an ENTIRE EPISODE
RubyChao: and let Tamaki keep her clothes!
N Goat: Truly a miracle
RubyChao: guess i have to post a skimpy tamaki to make up for it
N Goat: no you do not
Draco: Do it.
N Goat: and I'm gone
N Goat left the chat
Draco: Bye Sheep. wlu
RubyChao: you'll have to settle for this fully-clad tamaki
---
(My Christmas gift box for Harpy includes, among other things, Jurassic World slap bracelets)
festivel: "OH MY GOD ONE OF THESE SNAPPY BRACES!" *snap* "OW"
sick harpy: i'm recovering from perhaps the most stupid thing i've done all year
Gooper Blooper: XD
sick harpy: WHAT DID I EXPECT
Gooper Blooper: mess with the snappy
Gooper Blooper: you get whappied
sick harpy: this is dashra's weapon of choice
---
(Harpy fires up a Pokemon Randomizer for Emerald...)
sick harpy: ...
sick harpy: this run's going to be fucking wild
sick harpy: so... we have a choice of
sick harpy: Hoppip
sick harpy: Lanturn
sick harpy: and...
festivel: Lanturn is so good
sick harpy: I GOT THE FUCKING BOX ART POKEMON
Gooper Blooper: oh god
Gooper Blooper: beautiful
Gooper Blooper: fucking do it
Draco: WOO
Draco: NICE
sick harpy: MAGIC takes grumpy dragon out on a walk to tell his children to shut the fuck up
---
Jumpropeman: "I feel like I'm being waterboarded by carbuncle while listening to this"
---
Jumpropeman: finally, a good touhou rpg
---
RubyChao joined the chat
RubyChao: hello friends, i am here where productivity goes to die
---
(The Dia/Gino pic was made after the below conversation)
Gooper Blooper: note: JRM's artist has done four pictures at this point: three pairings... and clairepiece
RubyChao: but citrus are just friends
RubyChao: if symphogear taught me anything, it's that sleeping in the same bed and considering the other the most important person in your life and being empowered to save them and feeling awful and gloomy when they're taken from you means nothing!
RubyChao: (except when you're Tachi, where it genuinely is just super-attached introvert friendship)
Gooper Blooper: "but they're just hints, for now."
Jumpropeman: hey
Jumpropeman: they're business partners
---
RubyChao: oh yeah
RubyChao: sheep
RubyChao: oh he's gone................................................
Gooper Blooper: Chao was all set to tell Sheep there's a new line of Fire Force merchandise out and it's all just Tamaki in various states of undress
RubyChao: how did you know
RubyChao: i could get him a tamaki figurine for 300 bucks
RubyChao: that's 300 bucks well spent!!!!!
harpy: nooooooooo
Draco: Knowing Sheep, he'd want two.
---
RubyChao: holy shit
Hooded Pitohui: It was the first game I played in my life and I've replayed it more than any other and I never knew this until today
Jumpropeman: chao, time to edit all instances of Chuckster sitting in RP appropriately
Gooper Blooper: wow!
harpy: incredible
Gooper Blooper: what a strange little detail
Gooper Blooper: also I think this is the first I've heard of Sunshine being HP's first game
harpy: Sunshine Bias!
RubyChao: reminder that my very first vidya
RubyChao: was Pokemon Blue
RubyChao: but Sunshine was one of my first two console vidyas!
RubyChao: the other being Sonic Adventure 2 Battle
Gooper Blooper: even if it was far from my first game, you weren't the only one who had a formative experience with Sunshine, HP
Gooper Blooper glances at username
RubyChao: it's wild sometimes to me to remember how i use to be 100% Nintendo only
RubyChao: and now so many platforms, so little time
Hooded Pitohui: Ahaha, I've joked before, Goops, that we were destined to meet, because literally my first Internet search ever was when I was plopped down in front of a hi-speed computer at my mother's old place of work and told to entertain myself for an hour, and the thing I decided to look up first was "Gooper Blooper"
RubyChao: plot twist
RubyChao: that's how you found him................
Gooper Blooper: A+
Gooper Blooper: This name was pretty much just me wanting a username that didn't have extra letters or numbers in it and was just a character name, so I chose a second-string guy from a recent release
Gooper Blooper: I played into it a bit by calling attention to "underappreciated bosses" for a while
RubyChao: my first real username was incoherent garbage and i don't even remember why
Gooper Blooper: Kracko being my big second choice
RubyChao: it was "ChaoChaoSuperqq" because i was literally 13 that very day
RubyChao: but i ended up taking it and making Chao the root of basically all my names
Gooper Blooper: if only you'd added a third Q it could have been F-Zero foreshadowing
Jumpropeman: my first internet name in retrospect is surprisingly appropriate
RubyChao: was it
harpy: mine was like
RubyChao: Jumpropeboy?
harpy: inuyashakirby or something
Jumpropeman: Sasquashulator was a hypothetical fusion of a sasquatch and alligator and it was my AOL name
RubyChao: i can feel the 13 year old weeb, harpy
RubyChao: i understand
Jumpropeman: there's no such thing as alligators, as the joke goes
Jumpropeman makes angry Jimmy Carter noise
harpy: i thought that was armadillos
Hooded Pitohui: I didn't make my username until late into the business and put way too much thought into it, so it's pretty much been X Pitohui wherever I go. Though, had I not failed a CAPTCHA, I did almost sign up for my first account with the name Pistol Shrimp instead
harpy: PISTOL SHRAMPS
Jumpropeman: that's a man devoted to his bird
RubyChao: the bird brought him his most iconic rp character
RubyChao: and i believe i've shared that if not for Pitohui's interest in Pitohui
RubyChao: i would never have pegged him as someone for ZFRP
Jumpropeman: after Sasquashulator I went onto Mutant Bunny, Ghetto Bananas, Mr. Walrus, Ghettobananachris, Great Xatu... that might be it before Jumpropeman became my big online name
RubyChao: so jrm
RubyChao: when's Great Xatu for a plot
harpy: GREAT XATU
harpy: you're the fucking bastard who stalled out my shroomish
---
Gooper Blooper: they really ruined Pokemon when they designed Rhydon
Gooper Blooper: it was going great until then
Jumpropeman: Game Freak really went downhill after Mendel Palace
Gooper Blooper: nah JRM, they had one more AAA masterpiece left in them
Jumpropeman: don't say it
Gooper Blooper: Yoshi
Jumpropeman: how dare
Hooded Pitohui: This is an affront to Mario & Wario and I will not stand for it, Goops
---
Jumpropeman: I can't believe this is the real trailer but have no idea why it would exist otherwise
Jumpropeman: it's like the developer had their middle schooler son make the trailer
Jumpropeman: it is literally powerpoint at parts
Jumpropeman: with that rollergator style background track
RubyChao: Split-Screen 2 Player
RubyChao: OVER!
RubyChao: HERE.
harpy: welp
Jumpropeman: CHOOSE YOUR HUNTER! "Grunt!" "UGH" "GUH"
Jumpropeman: okay look I know we're joking about Ultimate Duck Hunting here but it does have up to 15 decoys so we should lay off a bit
RubyChao: wait
RubyChao: you can level up your dog and assign stats
RubyChao: fuck it i need this game NOW
Jumpropeman: minmax your lab
Gooper Blooper: Using "OVER" at the end of the video to signify the trailer is in fact over was a stroke of genius
---
Jumpropeman: "Childhood is when you idolise Batman.
Adulthood is when you realize cheese is really expensive."
Jumpropeman: the real reason we moved to Wisconsin was for better cheese prices-
Gooper Blooper: I love the name used for the american cheese I buy Goopsbro when I go on errands and it's on my shopping list
Gooper Blooper: "pasteurized processed cheese food".
Gooper Blooper: Cheese food.
harpy: cheese food.
harpy: delicious
---
Jumpropeman: hey guys check out the new smash leak
---
The Deleter: So
The Deleter: Im
The Deleter: Trying to read moby dick
Jumpropeman: interesting!
The Deleter: It's a struggle!
The Deleter: But I'm gonna keep going
pizza o’ clock: Ooh
The Deleter: It's kinda funny how the opening chapter is Ishmael going "I definitely love being a broke piece of shit sailor who gets physically abused by captains, yup, definitely don't do it because I'm broke and depressed"
pizza o’ clock: Is this a new series? Del reads classic literature?
pizza o’ clock: I’d sub to that patreon :P
The Deleter: Like under the prose is just this fucking idiot blustering about how great being a sailor is
The Deleter: And the second chapter currently he is trying to find a hotel despite having basically no money
The Deleter: The way this book has split the paragraphs up so much kind of creates a sense of little viginettes which i suspect isn't deliberate but is an interesting effect nonetheless
The Deleter: That's what I got so far
The Deleter: Also this fucker goes on so many tangents, we've had one about broiled chicken and this time one about the wind
pizza o’ clock: Sounds like the same problem I have with anything Richard Adams writes
pizza o’ clock: Like in the plague dogs there’s an entire tower block of a paragraph dedicated to pontificating on how our shallow ideas of freedom from tyranny is self-destructive and selfish
pizza o’ clock: And i’m like “I DON’T CARE”
pizza o’ clock: ”SHOW ME THE FUNNY GEORDIE FOX”
The Deleter: I feel like this is more deliberate
The Deleter: It's to show that Ishmael is a blustering moron who can't hold onto money or friends
pizza o’ clock: I mean i guess the paragraph i just described has a point also
pizza o’ clock: But i don’t have a very high tolerance for that kind of tangent, especially when the prose crawls up it’s own ass in service of it
pizza o’ clock: Anyway, as someone who has never read moby dick, this is gud work you’re doing
Jumpropeman: DeLit Crit
The Deleter: Hmmm
The Deleter: I may use that jrm :U
The Deleter: Anyway chapter three, he spends a lot of time talking about a painting and then gets into how shit the inn is, which is actually quite fun
The Deleter: The contrast of the freezing room with the hot food is interesting
Matry-o Sheep joined the chat
The Deleter: Hi sheep I'm reading moby dick
Matry-o Sheep: oh no Have fun!
Matry-o Sheep: I hope we get more of your thoughts on this classic piece of influential literature!
Matry-o Sheep: :D
Matry-o Sheep: :D
The Deleter: Ishmael can go to hell but it's pretty good actually
Matry-o Sheep: Hahah
Matry-o Sheep: I've never read Moby dick!
The Deleter: Its
The Deleter: Interesting
Matry-o Sheep: Ishteresting
Matry-o Sheep: Ishmaelteresting.
The Deleter: Ishmael is clearly not the protagonist, the first chapter immediately proves it
The Deleter: Obviously through osmosis I know the story's about ahab
The Deleter: So I'm curious to see how we get to that guy
Matry-o Sheep: He bursts out of Ishmael's chest.
The Deleter: Okay so
The Deleter: Ishmael doesn't want to have to share a bed
Matry-o Sheep: I sympathize
The Deleter: So the innkeeper punks him by sanding down a bench and then walking off
The Deleter: Whilst ishmael tries all sorts of furniture combinations to make this work
The Deleter: And then he's like
The Deleter: Maybe I could just steal the bed and lock him out
The Deleter: But no that dude will beat the shit out of me
The Deleter: And then he gives up
Matry-o Sheep: Oh no
The Deleter: Ishmael is, and I apologize for my lack of academic description
The Deleter: A bitch
The Deleter: Absolute bumblefuck moron
Matry-o Sheep: A take hotter than the room
The Deleter: Oh yeah the room he tries to set up in is also freezing
The Deleter: So basically he punks himself because he doesn't wanna share a bed
The Deleter: Fucking hell
The Deleter: Uh
The Deleter: Queequeg
Matry-o Sheep: The what now?
The Deleter: The harpooner
The Deleter: What an introduction
Matry-o Sheep: Aaaaah
Jumpropeman: I remember Queequeg solely because of the Futurama episode he's in
Jumpropeman: where Leela asks him if there's a Mrs. Queequeg
The Deleter: Wh
The Deleter: Having just read the passage he's introduced in
The Deleter: That joke is even wilder to me
The Deleter: Futurama is weirdly horny in retrospect
Jumpropeman: they wanna snu snu bad
The Deleter: Yes I did abandon reading classic lit to figure out a Futurama joke
Matry-o Sheep sounds of shattering glass
The Deleter: These are my priorities in life
The Deleter: Anyway the queequeg in the book is described as a fuckin monster
Jumpropeman: so he's horny too then-
The Deleter: He's horny for murdering Ishmael in his bed
The Deleter: That's not a metaphor
The Deleter: Ishmael objects to queequeg smoking in bed, not because it's unsanitary but because Ishmael doesn't have life insurance
The Deleter: Priorities
Jumpropeman: he's certainly got a way of looking at the world
The Deleter: It's because he's poor all the time probably
The Deleter: Also Ishmael has a habit of going "this thing is horrible" and then changing his mind a few moments later
Matry-o Sheep: We've all been there
The Deleter: He does it with the idea of sharing a bed and then again with queequeg in his entirety
Matry-o Sheep: I think we all would make pause at Queequeg in his entirety.
The Deleter: Okay
The Deleter: I better sleep
Jumpropeman: night
Jumpropeman: hope your bed is better than ishmael's
Matry-o Sheep: Seeya!
The Deleter: Tomorrow - will Ishmael stop sucking? Will he get on a boat? Are there, in fact, any whales?
The Deleter: All this and more
The Deleter: On DelLitCrit
The Deleter: :U
(later)
The Deleter: Hey sheep
The Deleter: Do you want more ishmael
The Deleter: Currently he's lying in bed watching queequeg get dressed
The Deleter: I keep making this sound weird and it is but it's not weird in that specific sense
(later)
The Deleter: Moby Dick update - queequeg eats rare steaks off his harpoon whilst Ishmael makes fun of people from Vermont
pizza o’ clock: I get the feeling
pizza o’ clock: that ishmael just doesn’t like canadian people
The Deleter: Ishmael is bad with people in general
The Deleter: I think
The Deleter: There's a long description of New Bedford which is pretty interesting, about how the community is rich and built up on whaling when would probably be a skeleton town otherwise
The Deleter: And then Ishmael goes to a chapel for people who died at sea and contemplates how crappy it is, but hey he might get paid and promoted so that's cool
pizza o’ clock: Welp
The Deleter: Also he's making fun of Vermonters because they basically try and swap job from lumberjack or rancher to whaler and buy all kinds of useless fancy outfits
Metallic Sheep: "queequeg eats rare steaks off his harpoon whilst Ishmael makes fun of people from Vermont"
Metallic Sheep: A very specific experience.
Jumpropeman joined the chat
Jumpropeman: im here to eat steaks off harpoons and make fun of people from Vermont
Jumpropeman: how's everyone
(later)
Gooper Blooper joined the chat
Gooper Blooper storms in wearing a useless fancy outfit
Gooper Blooper: HOW DARE
harpy: how's the whaling community up there-
---
(Concerning a present Draco got JRM)
Gooper Blooper: I know what it is from a conversation with Draco earlier
Draco: IT'S A RICHARD NIXON T-SHIRT, OKAY? THE KIDS LOVE HIM.
Jumpropeman: AROOOOO
Gooper Blooper: politics merchandise from decades ago is a fun kind of kitsch
Gooper Blooper: I actually found an ancient piece of political merch at my local thrift store last year
Draco: A Ron Paul sign? :3c
Gooper Blooper: It's a little notepad that says on the cover
Gooper Blooper: Make A Note
VOTE
Lloyd O. Selby
for
Representative
Jumpropeman: he's got my vote!
Gooper Blooper: best I can tell, Mr. Selby served in the vermont state house between the 60s and 80s
RubyChao: jrm i got bad news
RubyChao: he's dead
RubyChao: and has been for the past 26 years
Jumpropeman: well, it's a longshot
Jumpropeman: but he made a good argument and I won't back down
RubyChao: reminder
RubyChao: there actually was a time where someone died before the electoral college vote
RubyChao: and some electors voted for him anyway!
RubyChao: but it turned out, being dead disqualifies you from being president
RubyChao: zozo is very annoyed.
---
(Harpy does a Pokemon Blue randomizer run)
harpy: i got a porygon out of a helix fossil.
harpy: so hail helix i guess
Jumpropeman: that
Jumpropeman: is the least fossily a pokemon can be
---
Jumpropeman: hardest part of playing Sephiroth in Smash: remembering your sword doesn't literally cover the entire stage
---
Jungle 2 Jungle: Cyberpunk has another new headline: the spawn rates for dildos are abnormally high and will be patched so the city is less filled with dildos
Gooper Blooper: the cyberiest, punkiest sex toys
Jungle 2 Jungle: 2077 dildos
---
Jumpropeman: just finished a game with a cliffhanger
Jumpropeman: the game was made in 2015
Gooper Blooper: oh no
Gooper Blooper: my jenny leclue nightmare
---
Gooper Blooper: official description of Denise Marmalade translated from a Japanese artbook
Gooper Blooper: "A member of the police force that protects the peace on Ryship Island. Her sense of justice is strong, and she’s always full of enthusiastic spirit. However, she’s still just a novice officer who has trouble getting to work on time, and she’s had her fair share of blunders already. She’s not very skilled at operating mecha, either."
Gooper Blooper: "Her enthusiasm is sadly matched by her patheticness."
---
Gooper Blooper: Why is Roll's mom Parsee?
RubyChao: Paru paru.
---
RubyChao: https://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/2765883
Jumpropeman: "tanned" cirno
RubyChao: Lightly Toasted Cirno
Metallic Sheep: A new breakfast cereal
---
RubyChao: for del when he's on
RubyChao: i had a dream that all posts on the zfrp forum disappeared except for all the ones about Krieg
RubyChao: what has he done
SteelKomodo: oh god D:
Deleton King joined the chat
Deleton King: LMAO
Deleton King: thats how i finally burn everything down
---
harpy: doing the touhou sorter
harpy: >meiling vs kotohime
harpy: how could you
---
harpy: damn
harpy: this frozen dinner is beyond tasty
harpy: i'd eat a second one if i wasn't afraid ivel would be upset :V
Jumpropeman: ivel sitting atop frozen dinner mountain
Jumpropeman: if you take too many from its base, he'll notice it has shrunk in size
Jumpropeman: and then he'll burninate the country side
harpy: kek
harpy: seriously though, i love sweet n spicy BBQ
harpy: and it had ALL THE MEATS
Jumpropeman: so it's an Arby's meal?
harpy: without the bread, yes
---
Jumpropeman: Dream Bunny makes Ice Cream Bunny look professional
Metallic Sheep: I don't know if I'd go that far.
Jumpropeman: look
Jumpropeman: Ice Cream Bunny
Jumpropeman: has a nose
Metallic Sheep: Yeah, but not much else that doesn't look to have spent too long in front of a space heater
Metallic Sheep: Nobody's going to die on Ice Cream Bunny Aesthetics Hill
Jumpropeman: it is recognizably a rabbit
Metallic Sheep: If those ears are out of frame, I'm not sure it actually is
Draco: Are you sure, Sheep?
Draco gets out his Blue Bunny t-shirt, cap, and plate mail.
---
RubyChao: i am eating fruit snacks
RubyChao: and the flavor is
RubyChao: Citrus Medley
harpy: nice
Jumpropeman: why do you eat them D:
Gooper Blooper: that's what chao will call it when he adds a fourth one
RubyChao: well
RubyChao: we never did see Heart Star Honoka..............
---
RubyChao: link
Jumpropeman: they swapped the colors now its legal
Gooper Blooper: ahhhh, bootlegs
Draco: Lario and Muigi.
---
(Re: Panty's Christmas Carol)
pizza o’ clock: Originally, the ghost of christmas present was to be played by the easter bunny as depicted in rise of the guardians
pizza o’ clock: hugh jackman aussie voice and all
pizza o’ clock: but then i suddenly thought “what if it was jim dale” and couldn’t stop laughing
---
(Re: Eggerman)
Jumprumbleman: "Considered the most physically active US president in
the nation's history!" Oh yeah? How many rounds of golf has he played?
Metallic Sheep: I can't believe his cabinet OK-ed this.
---
Gooper Blooper: pokemon silver update: About to head into Union Cave, but waited outside of it until nightfall because... well, I've never used one in a main game, it gets a decent moveset in GSC, and it's the trendy thing right now, so fuck it
Gooper Blooper: WOOPER WATCH
Chao McMahon: WOOP
Jumprumbleman: YESSSS
Jumprumbleman: time to see the big whoop about woop
Gooper Blooper: Surf, Earthquake, and Ice Punch ain't bad at all. I was looking up GSC movesets to help me assemble a team and shit's dire, man
Gooper Blooper: poor Pineco
Gooper Blooper: >wooper escapes on the third shake
Gooper Blooper: how dare
Gooper Blooper: there we go
Jumprumbleman: Wooper cannot be contained
Jumprumbleman: Wooper was contained
---
Metallic Sheep: "Hello, everyone! A wonderful day for science, isn't it?"
Metallic Sheep: GIVE HER THE CHAIR!
Chao McMahon: *politely pulls out a chair and gestures for Sally to sit in it*
Jumprumbleman: sheep please, that's an overreacti- oh you didn't mean the electric chair
Jumprumbleman: or did you
Metallic Sheep: I MEANT IN WRESTLING TERMS!
Gooper Blooper: A free weapon for Sally? SURE!
Metallic Sheep: https://youtube.com/watch?v=s-NynxVOols
Jumprumbleman: so they added electric chairs to wrestling...
Jumprumbleman: you can't convince me they haven't integrated one before
Gooper Blooper: there has in fact been an electric chair in a wrestling match
Jumprumbleman: see?
Metallic Sheep: I mean
Metallic Sheep: there's also been a fully grown man bursting out of an egg in a turkey suit, ringside to a wrestling match
Metallic Sheep: It'd be easier to identify what hasn't been in a wrestling match
Gooper Blooper: "The opening match (despite being so heavily promoted in the lead up to the event one might've assumed it was going to be the main event) featured El Gigante, Sting, and The Steiner Brothers (Rick and Scott) against Abdullah the Butcher, The Diamond Studd, Cactus Jack and Big Van Vader in a Chamber of Horrors Match. The match rules are that it's basically a steel cage match in which there's an electric chair in the middle of the ring, and the way to win this match is to put a member of the opposing team in the chair and switch a lever on, so as the person is electrocuted in kayfabe. It was basically a protracted clusterfuck as, instead of a stardard tag team match, everyone from each team attacks the members of the other at the same time. It is filled with many bizarre moments, but the most damning is that that lever at one point gets knocked down into the "on" position, being clearly visible to the camera, leading to a referee outside trying to tape it upright. The match ends when Adbullah gets electrocuted by Cactus Jack pulling the lever, mistakenly assuming that Rick Steiner is in the chair (even though Jack is at an angle where he could clearly see who's on the chair), which Abby then proceeds to No-Sell by beating Jack."
Gooper Blooper: from the tv tropes page for So Bad It's Horrible/WCW
Jumprumbleman: amazing
---
Gooper Blooper: reminder that since birds are dinosaurs, miss featherbutt is a dinosaur and Fowler is an alien dinosaur
---
Metallic Sheep joined the chat
RubyChao: HELLO SHEEP
RubyChao: are you ready for me to buy you like 10 steam games???
Metallic Sheep: That's far too much!
Metallic Sheep: Oh no
Metallic Sheep: Thanks, JRM
Metallic Sheep: Oh no
---
(Re: Phasmophobia)
The Bree: I was dead (and thus a ghost) at the time this happened but we were playing the prison map and discovered that the stairs in front of the main door made the ass on azure's character look absolutely absurd
The Bree: "like a butch hartman character" was how one person described it
Draco: LOL
The Bree: so then we were all laughing and standing around taking screenshots of azure's character
The Bree: link
Jumpropeman: she got that jelly bean booty
---
pizza o’ clock joined the chat
pizza o’ clock: WHAT’S GOOD, MOTHERFUCKERS
It's ALL good, motherfucker.
ReplyDelete