DMG: seriously, Mozart is holding his drink better than a cat should be able to
Return of Bad End: I believe in the Monster Hunter. =v You go, cat.
Baked Cinnabon: he is godcat
DMG: let's see if both cats are good at drinking
DMG rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 15
DMG rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 17
DMG: good lord
Return of Bad End: They're purrfect at this.
DMG: impawsibly adept drinkers
---
Miserable Sheep: "I’m Codd Branford. 74 Years old. But i am a Goujin. A special Human race that brings me Eternal youth, and if i eat a 'VEGAfruit' i can gain another life. Like videogames, I can respawn if i die. Today i got 18 Lives. Thanks to my Eternal youth, i got a 25 Years old body and smartness."
Miserable Sheep: ...
KappaChao: rip sheep
Miserable Sheep uninstalls internet
KappaChao: i think ya broke him, goops
KappaChao: OFF TO THE JAVALINA FARMS
ivel: rip sheep
Return of Bad End: Take him to the Javelin farm. We grow trees for ideal sports spears there. And throw them at javalinas.
Gooper Blooper: Sheep finally makes it to my greatest battle sequence of 2016
Miserable Sheep: >ANIME RULES: BE AS ANIME AS POSSIBLE
Miserable Sheep: I'm gonna need a yardstick, a helicopter blade, and a whole lotta hair gel
Gooper Blooper: BUT KENAN WHERE AM I GONNA GET A HELICOPTER BLADE
---
Spy: God
Spy: I graduated
Draco: Congrats
Spy: I'm here
Spy: I made it
Spy: Wow
Spy: Unreal
ivel: :D
Spy: My gosh
Spy: This is amazing!
Spy: I feel incredible!
Spy: Yes yes yes yes!
Spy: I can win!
Spy: I feel great!
Spy: I can do this!
ivel: happy for ya Spy, congrats
Spy UGH!
Spy: Yes!
Spy: I'm home!
Spy: I'm alive!
Spy: This is all a miracle!
Spy: I'm awake!
Spy: I'm wide awake!
Spy: Woosh!
ivel: Spy right now
Spy: Yep!
SteelKomodo: hahahaha
---
Jumpropeman joined the chat
Jumpropeman: yoooooooo
RubyChao: yooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Bree: yooooooooooooo
Draco: Hi.
---
Gooper Blooper: whatever Sergeant McRandomCop looks like, I know one thing for certain
Gooper Blooper: he has a great mustache
Gooper Blooper: I am certain of this
RubyChao: i bet he likes donuts too
Gooper Blooper: G Nerique feels an odd kinship with him
RubyChao: they meet and have a very pleasant conversation that produces nothing of interest
---
Thwarted by an Invisible Force: David has artistic value
Thwarted by an Invisible Force: R Mika's ass, as great as it is, does not
---
Jumpropeman: so Retsupurae has started making fun of a game called The Mystery of the Druids, and it has the most ridiculous puzzle I've seen in an adventure game. The solution technically makes sense unliek some adventure games, but it goes above and beyond in how crazy a simple task must be done. To call a certain character in the game, you need 30 pence for the payphone. To get this small change, your character has to get it from a homeless man's collection hat. How do you do it, you ask? You must go across town, head into your office at Scotland Yard, talk to the lab technician and test some chemicals to find out which can knock a guy out, steal those chemicals, sneak it into a flask, give the homeless man the knock-out alcohol, steal his money, and THEN you can call the person. Keep in mind: you make multiple cross city trips during this, your character is a well paid police officer who encounters multiple people he could just ASK for change, and when he goes back to Scotland Yard, his office phone doesn't work, but other people have phones that he could easily ask to use.
RubyChao: ...what?
Baked Cinnabon: that is
ivel: wow
Baked Cinnabon: one helluva thing
Baked Cinnabon: payphones don't even exist
Baked Cinnabon: anymore
Baked Cinnabon: :U
(a few days later)
Jumpropeman: The Mystery of the Druids continues to impress. After knocking out a homeless man to get 60 pence, the game now has the detective character need to get into a huge old mausoleum to get an amulet inside. In order to get inside you must: Go to the marina and talk to an old captain and an old fisherman. During this, you learn that the captain's cat knocks over the fisherman's bait all the time, so you get a bag and kidnap the cat, dump it right next to the fisherman so it knocks over the bait, agree to guard his fishing pole while he goes to buy more bait and instead steal it, hook a bucket up to it and gather salt off the side of the captain's ship. Then, you take the salt chunks to the graveyard and grind them up on top of a gravestone with a divot in it using a bone that is evidence for the murder you're investigating. Now that you've got what is exactly like the kind of table salt he could've just got in a complimentary packet at a diner, you throw the handful of salt at the mausoleum and it explodes for some reason, allowing you to get the amulet. I'll also note he never returns the fishing rod.
---
Baked Cinnabon: meanwhile i'm actually Brandon
Baked Cinnabon: i'll never stop being Brandon
Baked Cinnabon: for better or for worse
---
Baked Cinnabon: dia has never gotten a fuck
Baked Cinnabon: just putting it out there
Baked Cinnabon: she's pure
ivel: not YET ;D
Draco: Dia can have candy and band aids if she wants.
Baked Cinnabon: DAMN IT GO BACK TO THE HOSPITAL
Draco: #lewd
Baked Cinnabon: she wants some milk and cookies and a good night kiss
ivel:
Baked Cinnabon: YOU GOTTA DEVELOP IT IC FIRST
Baked Cinnabon: GINO IS NOT YOU... i think?
ivel: that's why it was crossed out :U
Baked Cinnabon: get over here and tuck me into bed
Baked Cinnabon: *then i leave plot so its not as crowded*
---
Bree: hi cornwind, I tried to call you but my phone wouldn't cooperate
RubyChao: and bree asked me but i couldn't find my phone, rip
Cornwind Evil: I can only imagine how I would have reacted if Chao had called me
Cornwind Evil: Some mystery voice saying get on the forums Cornwind!
Cornwind Evil: I probably would have gone "Stupid cold calls" and hung up
Cornwind Evil: I tend to be very confused if I get woken up at the wrong time
RubyChao: yeah, probably :V
Bree: well I assume he would've said who he was
Bree: then again it's possible you wouldn't understand him
Bree: my phone is a piece of crap so the last time he called me I was secretly thinking "wtf is he even saying"
ivel: welp
Bree: (I knew it was him because caller ID :V)
Rrrrowr?: Arise, CoRnWind, For The Bloodshed
/Ven would make a terrible wakeup call
Draco: I will call him. He'll know the message is from you because I will say "Cornwind Skype pls" a bunch.
Cornwind Evil: I, at least, might innately recognize Ven's voice
Baked Cinnabon: then i'd call CW and be like
Baked Cinnabon: "KING KNIGHT'S BEING A DOOKIE HEAD GO BEAT HIM UP"
Baked Cinnabon: or something idk, my first idea was to play "wake me up before you go-go" over the phone
ivel: plz
---
Jumpropeman: Faith stops projecting her boobs to further discourage people liking her
Draco: Faith lets Meiling program her appearance.
ivel: Dracoplz
ivel: Meiling would have Faith keep the same appearance
Draco: Oh.
Draco: Gino programs Faith's appearance.
ivel: if Gino changed how she looked he'd probably take the same approach I do: see how far you can push the appearance sliders and see what happens
Baked Cinnabon: no
ivel: as long as she can change back I imagine Faith would actually find it funny :U
Jumpropeman: meet Gino's Faith
Baked Cinnabon: sounds about right
ivel: pff
Bree: meiling totally would not program faith to have giant boobs if she was allowed to program her appearance
Bree: ...okay she might be somewhat tempted, but she wouldn't
---
Murdering Sheep (Miserable Sheep) joined the chat
RubyChao: hi sheep
Murdering Sheep left the chat
RubyChao: bye sheep?
Maghleblarghle Sheep (Murdering Sheep) joined the chat
RubyChao: oh hi sheep
Maghleblarghle Sheep: Let's try that again
Maghleblarghle Sheep: Hello
Draco: Hi Sheep.
Rrrrowr?: Sheep.exe has crashed. Error Exception Code @#9uAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHFfffffFFFFkklz98389. Please contact a technician.
Draco: Okay.
Draco calls a Javalina.
---
Cornwind Evil: Once upon a time, there was a game called Resident Evil
Cornwind Evil: And it was popular
---
Jumpropeman: A Tut-Tut Movie would be almost as riveting as the All My Circuits Movie
---
Baked Cinnabon: i might actually put up a may edition of the Kobber Blogger
Baked Cinnabon: or vlogger
RubyChao: don't you mean
RubyChao: may actually!?
RubyChao: HAHAHAHAHAHA
RubyChao falls over, turning out to be Jester Chao
Baked Cinnabon: ruby chao has actually turned into his own character
Baked Cinnabon: there is no saving him
Crisis at Dongington Zoo: Chao pls
---
Baked Cinnabon: OH GOD ITS NATIONAL DONUT DAY
---
ivel: also I just got back from watching Wonder Woman
ivel: as always no spoilers here
Jumpropeman: has DC made a good movie
ivel: actually? A Wonderful one
Jumpropeman: is that pun only to hide the pain
ivel: nope
ivel: I just felt like punning with it
Jumpropeman: *opens Rottentomatoes*
Jumpropeman: >94%
Jumpropeman: hot damn
Jumpropeman: that's 8% more fresh than Captain Underpants!
Jumpropeman: im pretty happy those two movies seem to be good
Jumpropeman: finally, we can have more female-centric superhero movies AND underpants centric movies
Jumpropeman: so progressive
---
Cornwind Is Not A Crook: Ryuko: Man...I have to do EVERYTHING around here....
Baked Cinnabon: well sorry that Dia's a goddamn elf :I
---
Cornwind Is Not A Crook: Anyway while I was sleeping I had a dream with you guys
Cornwind Is Not A Crook: Well, mainly JRM
SteelKomodo: oh?
Cornwind Is Not A Crook: From what I remember, somehow/for some reason not only did JRM's sisters contribute characters to the Brawl, but so did his parents
Cornwind Is Not A Crook: And all their characters decided to join the Dangerous Alliance
Cornwind Is Not A Crook: And JRM was accusing me of bribing them
Cornwind Is Not A Crook: I think his claim was "OUR PAPER TOWELS ARE NEVER THIS NICE." or something
Cornwind Is Not A Crook: Also JRM's dad was entering the Flying Nun
Cornwind Is Not A Crook: ....that's all I remember
SteelKomodo: That sounds like a JRM character, alright :P
Cornwind Is Not A Crook: So, yeah....between that dream and some people talking about it, I'll be fine if 2/3 characters join with Dawn this year, it'll be enough.
Cornwind Is Not A Crook: If 3 join, they can change their name to the Four Horsemen
Cornwind Is Not A Crook: And then every future year I can change their name to OTHER wrestling stables
Cornwind Is Not A Crook: If Mario joins next year they'll be the Dungeon of Doom
Cornwind Is Not A Crook: Because THE YET-TAY! THE YET-TAY! THE YET-TAY! THE YET-TAY!
SteelKomodo: hahaha
---
SteelKomodo: Del has introduced me to the silly symphonies cartoon where Mickey pulls a fucking gun on Donald
RubyChao: link to mickey pulling that gun
RubyChao: i gotta see this
SteelKomodo: happens near the end
RubyChao: jfc mickey
---
Thwarted by an Invisible Force: Hi
Cultured Barbarian Rampant: Hi
RubyChao: >del is awake this late
RubyChao: del please 😱
Thwarted by an Invisible Force: Chao I am powered by
Thwarted by an Invisible Force: Something
---
Bree: that outfit vyn is wearing is extremely cute
Bree: does she know how cute she's being
DMG: thanks, that's her official uniform
DMG: and no, she probably wouldn't think of herself as cute
---
M Sheep: Art credit, of course, goes to JRM and my thanks for bringing Joe's ridiculous shirt alive
Jumpropeman: the only payment i require is you find me a real life equivalent so i can buy it
M Sheep snort
---
Jumpropeman: Jasper is thrown the single bone he'll get all season
Jumpropeman: time to make the rest suffering!
Jumpropeman: nah
Cultured Barbarian Rampant: Cauren didn't rub off on him THAT much, surely.
Draco: Cauren pls
---
Draco: I'm staring at a 20 lb. tub of margarine. Why?
---
Bree: D&D update: the party is disguising themselves to sneak into a place
Bree: this is a pretty decent plan, except for the part where my character is a seven-foot-tall black dragon woman
Draco: You need a hat.
RoboSkellingtons: hat and trenchcoat
RoboSkellingtons: ninja turtles it
Draco: Yeah, what Del said.
Bree: all right, the warlock rolled, and somehow we've managed to disguise my character to look "less dragon-y"
Bree: I don't have a hat and trenchcoat, but I'm wearing a hooded robe and a white mask
Draco: That's pretty good.
SteelKomodo: that works
---
WHO THE HECK AM I???: Posted!
WHO THE HECK AM I???: FIRST RESPONDER
WHO THE HECK AM I??? TWERKS IN VICTORIOUSNESS
---
(Spy is told he can't play as a witness in a trial plot)
WHO THE HECK AM I???: I do wonder what our role in the trial is then
WHO THE HECK AM I???: Unless we're the giant defense bench
Gooper Blooper: I'm assuming we are all Maya Feys
Bree: World's Longest Defense Bench, yes
Bree: aye, what goop said
Gooper Blooper: just imagine Kasumi surrounded by a dozen Maya Feys
Gooper Blooper: that's the plot
Bree: someone make an image of that
Thwarted by an Invisible Force: Strong plot
B.C.: Brandon has his maya fey wig on :u
Draco: Some of her Maya Feys are in wheelchairs because Jason.
Bree: komachi isn't in a wheelchair but she's in pretty bad shape too
Bree: she and koakuma share a just-out-of-the-hospital fistbump
---
Bree: komachi is like 0.8 brandons in size
Gooper Blooper: she big
Bree: indeed
Rise of Dongington Zoo: Hahaha
B.C.: I love how brandon is a measurement
B.C.: first carla, now brandon
Draco: Not sure Koakuma can be considered more than .2 Brandons unless you count her chair.
B.C.: what other ice chars will be used as measurements
Bree: if you combine komachi and koakuma you get a total of 1 Brandon
B.C.: but only .23rds of a Boreas
B.C.: oop
Gooper Blooper: how many Carlas fit into a Brandon
B.C.: Uh
Bree: 3.14 carlas = 1 brandon
B.C.: Yes
Draco: 3.14 Carlas = 1.25 Komachis = 1 Brandon
ivel: I'm glad Brandon is the bigger one or that question would've been awkward
Gooper Blooper: now I'm remembering that thing in the Gen 4 Pokedex where you can compare Pokemon sizes to your characters
Gooper Blooper: and it used one of those scales with the two dishes and if you put something really heavy on the Pokemon side your character would fly up into the air
---
Beach Cookout: who wants a cute mabi!brando pic while i panic
Gooper Blooper: do it
Beach Cookout: https://i.gyazo.com/3961319bb5ecdf7ee2f1d9260dc3a515.png
Gooper Blooper: I see the fud has been successfully administered
Beach Cookout: indeed
Beach Cookout: he's a chubby bunny
Gooper Blooper: legs for days
Beach Cookout: his thighs will crush his enemies
Beach Cookout: either way he's 100% adorable
Jumpropeman: harpy irl
Beach Cookout: me.
Beach Cookout: yes.
Gooper Blooper: pff
---
KappaChao: Mizuki vs. Leichter is go
KappaChao: HE'S THE LAST MEMBER OF THE BIG FIVE CREW
KappaChao: CAN PICK UP A CONTRACT WITH RELATIVE EASE, MAKES SEALING DEALS LOOK LIKE SUCH A BREEZE
Beach Cookout: I HOPE WE DON'T FIGHT VERA, PLEASE DON'T LET US FIGHT VERA
Beach Cookout: I WANT TO LOVE VERA
---
DMG: what did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
M Sheep: Ate his feelings, DMG?
DMG: wiped his ass
Beach Cookout: ...ate her out?
Beach Cookout: OH
ivel: hun plz
M Sheep blinks
Draco: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW XD
ivel: 2lewd
M Sheep leaves computer chair
KappaChao: also wow dmg wow
DMG: you're all welcome for that mental image
KappaChao: i think you've driven sheep to the javelina farms
M Sheep gets glass out of cabinet
M Sheep gets some ice
M Sheep fills up cup with water
M Sheep comes back to computer
Beach Cookout: sheep's dead
M Sheep takes sip
M Sheep spits it at computer
M Sheep pauses
M Sheep throws glass at computer too
M Sheep: harpy
M Sheep: why
Beach Cookout: because i'm a terrible person
---
DMG: a good lawyer should always go to court wearing a good law suit
Bree: kek
Jumpropeman: I only packed enough tranquilizers for Ven puns
Jumpropeman: I never expected this new threat
DMG: I've got millions
---
WHO THE HECK AM I???: Oh!
WHO THE HECK AM I???: Since it hasn't had a chance to come up organically
WHO THE HECK AM I???: Who wants to know why Undyne seriously needed a massage chair?
M Sheep: Why?
WHO THE HECK AM I???: She swam all the way to Kuwahawi from Vegas
Jumpropeman: AND BOY ARE HER ARMS TIRED- wait that is true
Phone: If she told Guinness, that world record will also need to go in.
Draco: Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang! Did she swim through the sand too?
WHO THE HECK AM I???: SCREW SAND
WHO THE HECK AM I???: SHE'S GOTTA GET TO KUWAHAWI
---
Jumpropeman joined the chat
M Sheep: Oh hey
M Sheep: it's that guy
Jumpropeman: time to say my catchphrase
Jumpropeman: EYYY! GIVE ME A COUPLAHUNDRED PIZZA PIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!
M Sheep canned laughter
---
GraduateChao: "In 1996, Southampton College at Long Island University (now a campus of SUNY Stony Brook) awarded an Honorary Doctorate of Amphibious Letters to Muppet Kermit the Frog. Although some students objected to awarding a degree to a Muppet, Kermit delivered an enjoyable commencement address and the small college received considerable press coverage."
---
Beach Cookout: like most harpchars
Beach Cookout: comet is a dork
DracoMob: I think the last Harpchar who wasn't a dork is now in Hell where Parsee throws peanuts at her or something.
Beach Cookout: cassie is 100000000% dead
DracoMob: And 100000000% pelted with peanuts.
---
Draco: Everyone in allowed in the Brawl as long as they aren't babies.
Congratulations, College Guys!: Or twenty extra partners. =u Or coated in weapons.
Congratulations, College Guys!: The worst offender was the guy who had baby armor strapped with grenades!
ivel: or cats, else CW's wrath be incurred
Gooper Blooper: Ten babies connected by an umbilical cord
ivel: oh god Goops no
ivel: I managed to forget about that
Gooper Blooper: some
ivel: no
Gooper Blooper: BODY ONCE TOLD ME
ivel: NOOOOOO
Beach Cookout: no
Jumpropeman: cats are allowed
Jumpropeman: don't cheat me out of these felynes brah
---
DMG: I've met Stephen King, and he doesn't think like most people
---
RoboSkellingtons: persona 5 update
RoboSkellingtons: "What kinda weird fetish stuff are you into, Jake?!"
RoboSkellingtons: i've been rumbled
RoboSkellingtons: abort abort
RoboSkellingtons: (for context i'm going through futaba's confidant and that is a great line to be taken out of context)
Amid other things: All of the whoops, lad.
SteelKomodo: rip del
Beach Cookout: the game knows too much
---
Jumpropeman: Bree
Bree: yes?
Jumpropeman: I may have an infection, and I need your help identifying it
Bree: amazing XD
Jumpropeman: help I'm making a touhou OC
Pogeyvel: I'm afraid it's terminal, jrm
Jumpropeman: why did I put so much personality in such a small package
---
Beach Cookout: dmg is summoned by cute animus
Beach Cookout: good to know
DMG: I mean
DMG: you're not wrong
---
M Sheep: Forgive me mods, for I have sinned
M Sheep: I have back-edited a post
M Sheep waits until the over ripened fruit throwing dies down
M Sheep: Anyway, changed the name on the Brother's contact card from Eckhardt & Eckhardt to The Brothers Eckhardt Services
RubyChao: you must say five Hail Elohims and donate a portion of your savings to the poor
RubyChao: for then you will atone
Draco: And note that he said SAVINGS, not SHAVINGS, so stop putting your beard trimmings in the offering bowl.
M Sheep: So you're saying I'm
M Sheep: SPLITTING HAIRS
---
M Sheep: "Just out there-" Her smile grew as she swept her hand out in front of her. "-killing people for all the right reasons!"
M Sheep: Oh, Clash
M Sheep: You adorable, problematic, elemental
---
M Sheep: Hekko
M Sheep stares at screen
M Sheep: *Hello
M Sheep: Off to a great start
---
Jumpropeman: step right up folks and witness an unbelievable sight, an actual living human being who can sleep for almost half a day and can still end up taking a nap only a few hours later
Bree: jrm, are you kidding me? I've been doing that for years
Bree: git gud, scrub
---
(The Kobbers face Pompy the seal)
Gooper Blooper: only as JRM posts do I finally realize that it took years but it finally happened
Gooper Blooper: a LITERAL fat seal flopping around
Gooper Blooper: no more comparisons, this is the genuine article
---
Bree Verily: "Hrol, you are not a slut. I can spot one easily" EURYALE MEETS MEILING
---
Brinehammer changed name to Brackish wrench
Brackish wrench changed name to Salt tool
Salt tool: Just gonna throw subtlety out the window.
M Sheep: Indeed.
Phone is brained by subtlety on way past window
---
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