Marina Best Octo: put this on my gravestone
---
ivel: Gino has carrier ferrets
---
Jumpropeman: had some popeyes again today. I had shared some of mine from last time and my family seems a fan, and the fried chicken was better this time so I'm a bit more okay with them now
Jumpropeman: the mind control serum just needs a few doses to take effect
Jumpropeman: BUY POPEYES CHICKEN BUY POPEYES CHICKEN BUY POPEYES CHICKEN
---
Hjorkbnr: The initial plan, if there weren't changes, was also to visit JRM Tuesday for hugs-and-noogies.
RubyChao:
Hjorkbnr: NO!
CANCEL EVERYTHING, JRM
I'VE WAITED YEARS TO MEET DA DON OF UNTIMELY DEATH
---
Me joined the chat
MobileDrac: Hi Me.
Me: Hi
SteelKomodo: hi
Me: I promise to always be me.
PiantaChao: hi lysias
Me: I'm not Lysias, i'm me.
---
A CAR: link
Spy: As Don Pianta and his three enforcers keep hammering away, they notice that the bar isn't going to just take it lying down. And then the murders began.
Me: Haha
A CAR: "In a hole, underground, there lived a hobbit. And then the murders began."
Gooper Blooper: Stacy stalwartly stood by the door, staring at the girl who was camped out beside it. And then the murders began.
A CAR: Tony's bat succeeds in hitting something. And then the murders began.
Spy: Dawn suddenly gets a wad of bills thumped into her hand. And then the murders began.
Best Chum: wait what
Me: Haha, hilarious
Cornwind Evil: Woe massacred her way across Kuwahawi. And then the murders began.
Best Chum: i don't think it began there, friend
Gooper Blooper: And then the murders continued
Best Chum: Duer ordered the endless meat bowl... and then the murders began.
Cornwind Evil: The murders...OF HIS HUNGER PANGS
A CAR: "What's that noise?" asked Mrs. Hogget. And then the murders began.
A CAR: ...fuck, I ruined it D:
ivel: Walking forward and raising one arm, he looked at all the fiters, the fans, and the hundreds of cameras, and with a strong swing of his arm, he declared, “LET THE BIG BAR BRAWL 7 BEGIN!” And then the murders began.
Best Chum: SHIT
Best Chum: STOLE MY IDEA
Gooper Blooper: Ivel wins
Best Chum: bad boyfriend
A CAR: flawless victory
A CAR: “It was seven o'clock of a very warm evening in the Seeonee hills when Father Wolf woke up from his day's rest, scratched himself, yawned, and spread out his paws one after the other to get rid of the sleepy feeling in their tips.
"And then the murders began."
Brinehammer: Shade slowly turned to smile directly at the camera. And then the murders began.
Best Chum: appropriate
Best Chum: shade is the girl who looks at the camera while the house burns down behind her
ivel: the Charlotte's Web one got me tho
ivel: ""Where's Papa going with that axe?" said Fern to her mother as they were setting the table. And then the murders began."
Cornwind Evil: I'm reminded of a simular gimmick where you render just about any sentence hilarious if you add "...in bed." at the end of it.
ivel: aye
ivel: I usually see that with fortune cookies specifically
Brinehammer: Shade's smiling at the camera, Skulk is cackling and roasting marshmallows.
Best Chum: i love those two
Best Chum: i wanna befriend the jerks :I
---
Best Chum: maaan fuck woe
Best Chum: maaaan, fuck stranglehold
Best Chum: maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan, fuck chaos
Best Chum: fuck
---
MobileDrac: Why didn't Brandon bet this expensively on the Brorl?
Best Chum: because Jinako didn't have the DraCo coffee creamers in stock at the time ;U
Best Chum: besides that'd be weird, buying something from the store and betting it against the owner ;U
Gooper Blooper: I'm imagining Brandon walking in
Gooper Blooper: buying a candy bar
Gooper Blooper: then immediately sliding it back over
Gooper Blooper: "This is on Arr to win it all"
Best Chum: plz
---
Jumpropeman: "Vinny, Tony, and Rocko all pull out... bats. Tree branch bats, specifically, looking like repainted versions of the Chuckster's. Anyone who wants to challenge any of the Piantas will have to watch for the initial swinging!" I imagine this looking just like an RPG fight, the three Piantas idling in place as they wait to attack
ivel: that's basically what RP is
---
Best Chum rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 1
Best Chum: y-yams
Best Chum: yams no
Brinehammer rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 1
PiantaChao: yams no
PiantaChao: ino no
Best Chum: YOU HURT YAMS CHAO
PiantaChao: i regret hurting yams 😱
PiantaChao: SHE'LL WALK IT OFF
---
Spy: . . . Oh god
Spy: "Ha! You guys are seriously challenging a fish to a race in the middle of the water? Oh man, this is gonna be great!"
Undyne placeholders her way into RYM!
+ Undyne is stronk and good at water
- Undyne you're trying to outswim boats the fuck you doin' ?
Spy: This is my entire entry
ivel: yes it is
Best Chum: you didn't fix your placeholder friend
Best Chum: now you are stuck with your sin
Best Chum: *undyne's theme is kazoo'd in the background*
---
ivel: unexpected #ruined
Gooper Blooper: Dia sitting with a pile of locked boxes
Gooper Blooper: "WHAT AM I GONNA DO WITH THESE"
Cornwind Evil: Mail them to a rogue
Cornwind Evil: Sorry, slipped into WOW-solutions for a second
---
Best Chum: let's see, it's probably going to be abouuuut
Best Chum: hm
Best Chum: for someone like Jack, that's gonna be 1 million american dollars, minimum
Best Chum: so shimmer basically got 250k :U
Best Chum: i am probably underestimating the bounty greatly but
Jumpropeman: at least I don't need to worry about her income anymore :V
Best Chum: i don't want to counterbalance "poor planeswardens" with "extremely rich planeswardens"
Jumpropeman: *shimmer spends it all in three days*
Gooper Blooper: Shimmer spends it all on cookie cutters
Best Chum: then again, planeswardens do have to pay for a lotta utilities, food, paychecks, gifts for friends...
Gooper Blooper: Diadem's wardrobe
Best Chum: diadem's wardrobe indeed, and weapon/armor repairs
Best Chum: so 1 mil kinda drains fast (STAFF REPAIRS AIN'T CHEAP)
Jumpropeman: "Why are we 50,000 dollars in the red again this quarter?" Duer screams, looking over at Dia sitting in a pile of ribbons and dresses. Dia shrugs.
Draco: Clownpiece used all her money to buy money.
ivel: Harpy: "You know, now that I gave 250k to Clownpiece, I wonder if she's gonna get bagels and bagels and bagels and bagels and bagels"
Best Chum: nobody knows the context to that, dear
---
moosicals: That android lass had just, just massive binaries, you know? And really big, bountiful floppy disks. I thought the system only had room for 'C://Drive' to 'Z://Drive' ports, but apparently some of these ones have 'sex drives'. Dawn has displayed that applying the hard drive correctly to the motherboard does indeed make more android kiddos.
moosicals prepares to be banned; waves hello and leaves for shopping
---
oh shit it is fiddlesticks: They aired the smash evo matches on Disney XD
oh shit it is fiddlesticks: So Bayonetta is a Disney Princess now
---
(Diadem proposes to Ginocini)
DMG: I think there's a sort of beauty in Gino's 4 word response
Best Chum: goddamn it jrm :U
ivel: Gino isn't a man of many words
ivel: usually
Best Chum: Gino's too lazy to make paragraphs
ivel: at least that's my excuse
DMG: fair enough, I just thought it was funny, whether it was meant to be or not
Best Chum: Ivel will one day write more
Best Chum: but not today
Best Chum: it's all okay
Jumpropeman: when Faith proposes to Jorrovar, we'll see if it's a bit longer
Best Chum: *chokes*
Best Chum: JRM NO
ivel: Jorro will permadie of embarassment
Draco: XD
Best Chum: Luitgard snapchats Jorro's untimely death and makes a song out of it
---
Brinehammer: "Remember to talk to your plants! Don't worry if they talk back! #farming"
---
Best Chum: the wedding prolly won't be too big of an event
Best Chum: and it won't happen anytime soon
Bree: is it going to be this season
Best Chum: Mmmm, probably? I do wanna play out some minor stuff regarding the wedding plans and all for funsies
Best Chum: i don't want to make too big a deal out of it, though?
Jumpropeman: I'll make sure to send all of Dia's closest friends: Bluez, Tree Spy, and Evinrude
Gooper Blooper: Don't forget Wenceslas The Younger
Jumpropeman: oh yeah, he's definitely handing her off at the wedding
Jumpropeman: he's like a father to her
RubyChao: wenceslas the younger returns and is killed off
RubyChao: it's the most dramatic thing ever
RubyChao: dia cries for weeks
---
Jumpropeman: I was playing Crash Bandicoot N-Sane Trilogy
Jumpropeman: it is harder than expected, but nothing to tear your hair out over
Gooper Blooper: gotta have something to tide you over while waiting for Knack 2
Jumpropeman: If only there was Robo-Crash
Jumpropeman: then I'd be playing a GOOD game >BI
---
Jumpropeman: when you mix Greed with Spy's upcoming Mimikyu character
---
Spy Has Worst Idea: Oh, joy
Spy Has Worst Idea: I get to rate this course
Spy Has Worst Idea open-palm slams the Very Boring and Has No Impact On My Driving buttons
---
Jumpropeman: i am not good at this band quiz
Jumpropeman: especially since I went to high school with a guy named Lennard Skinner so that just screws up the spelling right there
---
Best Chum: oh god
Best Chum: i made rita clap
Best Chum: time to quit RP
Jumpropeman: XD
---
ivel: well, apparently Square-Enix massively increased the subscription prices in some countries
ivel: like Brazil and Russia
ivel: aka the poorer countries where it's understandable for people to pay less money for stuff
ivel: apparently the prices were hiked to close to US prices, but again, poorer countries where people can't fuckin afford it, and they broke their own rules by not giving advance notice of the price change
oh shit it is fiddlesticks: Lol
oh shit it is fiddlesticks: Square-Enix more like garbage-penis
oh shit it is fiddlesticks is not funny or clever
---
(During Woe plot, in which legions of robots invade Kuwahawi and a huge army of Kobbers beats them back)
Bree: I hope the snowmads are realizing that maybe you shouldn't be an army invading kobber territory
---
MobileDrac: "You're squishy, to be honest" <- Duer? More like RUDE.
Best Chum: "That also means she's nice to hug you jerk D:< "
Best Chum: and Dia isn't about to deny that after her showing against Appule :U
ivel: Gino can also confirm this
MobileDrac: Duly noted. :V
---
Bree: byte meets duer and is shocked
Bree: ARE YOU MY DOG DAD????
Bree: HI DAD I'M DOG
Bree: HI DOG I'M DAD DOG
Best Chum: Duer would die to have a dogge like Byte.
Bree: BORKING INTENSIFIES
---
Gooper Blooper: So here's a quick story of something really stupid that made me laugh like crazy as a kid and to this day neither myself nor Goopsmom knows why
ivel: ooh
Gooper Blooper: It was in this book
ivel: I have in-jokes with several friends
ivel: one time I was playing TF2 with friends, two of them were jokingly making fun of each other and doing the "Oh look at me I'm *other friend's name*" thing
ivel: it went on long enough that my stomach hurt from laughing
ivel: some haven't been mentioned in years but are still remembered by both of us
Bree: azure and I have an in-joke that probably no one else would get the humor of
Bree: and it spawned from us playing Saints Row 4 co-op and azure was like "brenda get on the fucking motorcycle" (she was driving I was passenger but I got thrown off) and I was like "YEAH COOL YOUR TITS I'M GETTIN ON THE GAD DANGED MOTORBIKLE"
ivel: Saints Row is fun
Bree: "motorbikle" being a verbal typo, it sounds like "motorcycle" except mix "bike" and "cycle"
ivel: lel
Bree: and it became an in joke and now when we play saints row we're always going on about the motorbikles
Stupidhammer 40k: Wait
Stupidhammer 40k: Wasn't Babar a king?
Stupidhammer 40k: IS THIS BABAR: ORIGINS!?
Gooper Blooper: During the book, Babar the Elephant sits down and has his picture taken on one page
Gooper Blooper: The next page shows a sepia photograph of Babar with the text "And here is his photograph"
Gooper Blooper: I don't know why, but that fucking page made me burst out laughing as a kid, every time, to the point of hiccups
Gooper Blooper: Nothing funny is happening
ivel: welp
Bree: I can kinda get it
Gooper Blooper: No jokes were made
RubyChao: it is, spy
Bree: but not in a way I could explain
RubyChao: he becomes a king later on
Best Chum: i get it
Best Chum: because i smiled
Gooper Blooper: but child GB thinks it's the best comedy ever
Best Chum: when you mentioned it
Best Chum: i woulda laughed too :U
Gooper Blooper: Goopsmom would tell me to explain why it was so funny
DMG: if I'm in need of laughs, I can usually just watch something by OneyNG
Gooper Blooper: I was always laughing too much
Bree: is good funny, yes
Jumpropeman: i think that perfectly embodies the unassuming softball world of babar. Here is him taking the picture. And here is the picture
Gooper Blooper: Yeah, my best theory is that it was just so... banal
ivel: aye
Best Chum: i usually watch my friend's streams for big ol' chuckles
Gooper Blooper: we saw him sitting for the photo, we know what he looks like
Stupidhammer 40k: Honestly?
Stupidhammer 40k: I understand it
Gooper Blooper: so the photo was just him again in the same pose
Stupidhammer 40k: ^
Stupidhammer 40k: It's the repetition
Best Chum: like endlessly loopin' duders in mp2
RubyChao: metroid prime 2!?
Best Chum: STUCK IN THE SAME LOOP, FOREVER
Best Chum: no ruby
ivel: there's a few youtubers I can watch their vids for laughs usually
Jumpropeman: today I've just been looping this kid trying to prank his dad and laughing hard for some reason
RubyChao: :<
ivel: Mario Party 2?
Best Chum: ye
MobileDrac: It's like when I recycled Deceptiplot; you know what it is but I show you again anyway. Jk
ivel: oh I thought I was wrong somehow :U
Best Chum: here is dia
ivel: I first found Markiplier because one of his Gmod vids was recommended on Youtube; I was feeling bleh so I decided to watch and laughed hard
Best Chum: and here is her photograph!
Gooper Blooper: I found it
Best Chum: *dia sitting on top of Duer's shoulders as a measly peasly elf*
Gooper Blooper: the pages are online
Gooper Blooper: there it is
ivel: Harpy cracked up
Best Chum: i-ivel please
Best Chum: one must not know that i am kid goops
Gooper Blooper: XD
---
Beach Car: *rubs hands together*
Beach Car: *does absolutely nothing*
---
Bree: celestia, you're looking especially gangsta today
Gooper Blooper: "Yo yo yo, what it is, sweeties!" "oh my god mom no"
Bree: snoop dogg is a great person
Bree: just sayin
---
Jumpropeman: no jet skis for getting last in volleyball? I'm out >BI
---
Gooper Blooper: >Steam notification that chao is playing half-life
Gooper Blooper: JOHN FREEMAN WHO WAS GORDON FREEMAN'S BROTHER
Draco: WEPON
RubyChao: THE PANTS WERE DED
---
Bree: I really like vykarius for a bunch of reasons, he's a neat character
Bree: but also, one of the things I like about him, is that him being as powerful as he is makes me less self-conscious about how hong is supposed to be really powerful too
Jumpropeman: link
Bree: it's reassuring both that someone else introduced a character that's really powerful, and also that that character was accepted easily and there've been no complaints about it
Bree: etrohus is another example
Bree: though etrohus actively wanted to get rid of his power, whereas hong and vykarius are more like, they just don't use that power except in extraordinary circumstances
Bree:
Jumpropeman: if there's a "drink tea with yer mates" battle maybe
DMG: "Abide Yer Mates", in which all entrants partake in a tea social, and are eliminated upon committing any sort of faux pas, or otherwise interrupted the sophisticated atmosphere
---
Bree: looks like I made the ticker again XD
Bree: I like that somehow "MEILING THERE ARE CHILDREN" got it instead of what sakuya's chastising meiling about
Jumpropeman: out of context it sounds a bit like someone's just excited by the presence of children
Bree: lel
Bree: maybe draco felt it wouldn't be PG for the next 24 hours ish to have a ticker that read "I AM THE GOD OF SEX AND VOLLEYBALL"
Draco: Sometimes I just like to pick a quote that's just plain odd without context. Why is someone yelling at Meiling about children? Are they afraid? Are they excited? Are they going around stealing from kids?
Jumpropeman: all of the above
Bree: lel
---
RubyChao: "Don't worry, with a little time and interest, you too can find yourself memorizing a whole host of otherwise unfamilar names. I am a Touhou fan, so you can trust me on this"
---
Spy: So close to beating this first cartridge . . .
Spy: Me: Sunday is a day of rest : D
Spy: Me, also: *open-palm slams a goddamn Edmund McMillen game into my comp*
---
Cornwind Evil rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 2
Cornwind Evil: The tractor's in a mood.
I am: This battle will be interesting now.
Jumpropeman: the battle of wet slaps
I am: Haha, well said
Cornwind Evil: Posted
I am rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 2
I am: Well
Jumpropeman: the battle of the century
Cornwind Evil: Luciel decides to take a break and have a chocolate bar
Cornwind Evil: STUPID CHILD CRAVINGS
I am rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 12
Angry Squid Noises: Hahaha
I am: Posted
I am: Edited
I am: No more low numbers
Cornwind Evil rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 3
Cornwind Evil: Helena vs Luciel vs THE FUCKING TRACTOR
Cornwind Evil rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 3
Cornwind Evil: NGGHHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I am: Oh crap i'm scared to see what i get now.
Jumpropeman: they're just gonna look at each other, shrug, and say "another day then?"
I am: Haha, Sounds good
Cornwind Evil: That is basically what I just did
Cornwind Evil: Posted.
Cornwind Evil: I actually literally threw up my arms and growled like Ven when I rolled that second three
---
Lysias negotiated writing this: Hast thou smelt
Whatever such manner of thing it may prove to be
That the Rock
Is cooking?
---
30 Minutes to Meennight: "Back into your cell, bookw-" *Patchy is already there*
30 Minutes to Meennight: ". . . Huh. That was easy" "Exiting my cell would be effort"
RubyChao: yep
---
Jumpropeman: ha, I hadn't realized I.M. Meen had already appeared
Beach Car: spy almost cheateded :U
30 Minutes to Meennight: Worst case scenario
30 Minutes to Meennight: Meen wins vote
30 Minutes to Meennight: Meen wins Brawl
30 Minutes to Meennight: Then the whole Brawl needs to be edited so Scooby-Dum is in it instead
30 Minutes to Meennight: Dum wins brawl
30 Minutes to Meennight: Darkest timeline
Beach Car: i'd honestly laugh
---
30 Minutes to Meennight: Oh god
30 Minutes to Meennight: Don't make Meen read
30 Minutes to Meennight: Meen has not had good experience reading thus far
Gooper Blooper: HE'LL READ AND LIKE IT
---
30 Minutes to Meennight: 2:53
30 Minutes to Meennight: Why do these scientists look ready to put on a production of West Side Story
Jumpropeman: Level 30? Dang, that game is crazy long
RubyChao: it still weirds me out that the game itself is basically a doom clone
30 Minutes to Meennight: It's 36 levels total
30 Minutes to Meennight: I know, right?
MobileDrac: I M Doom
Jumpropeman: im probably easily impressed after so many "push crate onto switch" puzzles, but I like the idea behind the grammar puzzles
Beach Car: this is a rather intense game
Beach Car: grammar?!?
Beach Car: while fighting various monsters!?!?
30 Minutes to Meennight: Yep!
30 Minutes to Meennight rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 16
30 Minutes to Meennight rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 21
30 Minutes to Meennight rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 16
30 Minutes to Meennight rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 11
Gooper Blooper: Naturally, CW and Lysias' planned showdown got all those dud rolls
Gooper Blooper: and over here I M Meen's mooks are monsters
Beach Car: lel
---
B.C.: >cast dia
B.C.: this spell is ruined
Jumpropeman: Sarah just hurls Dia at Shimmer
Gooper Blooper: it might work!!
Bree: dia will crush the bad out of shimmer with her sheer bulk
-: May Dia not be DOA in such a scenario.
B.C.: Now i have to bring in dia dont i
B.C.: :u
---
RubyChao: "She is written out of the show in season 2. It was revealed in the Halloween special that she was a "happy" cyborg made by a cyborg-making company. She was intended to only do good and be always happy, until finally having a malfunction and turning evil and attempting to "nicely" enslave the world (starting from her schoolmates) into baking cupcakes for charity. At the episode's conclusion, Phil was forced to melt her."
Jumpropeman: that was almost Ruukoto's backstory
---
Jumpropeman rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 4
RubyChao rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 2
RubyChao rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 14
Jumpropeman: how will you fare, against the least effective flash bang ev- maria come on
MobileDrac rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 1
MobileDrac: Parsee died.
Gooper Blooper rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 4
Jumpropeman: let me call cornwind and lysias really quick, clearly they left some tractor luck behind
Gooper Blooper flipped a coin. The coin showed: Tails
Gooper Blooper: pls
---
Bree: panda senses are tingling
Bree: THERE IS A WOMAN OUT THERE WHO NEEDS TO BE TOLD SHE IS BEAUTIFUL
Bree: RIGHT NOW
Bree: THIS VERY SECOND
Bree: IT IS A DIRE EMERGENCY
---
Jumpropeman: I tried to make plain Shimmer's picture uglier but I couldn't, the Shimmer is too strong
Jumpropeman: I can't fit like thirty scars on it or anything either :V
Gooper Blooper: You fool, I think mousy-looking girls with freckles are super cute
Gooper Blooper: shimmer remains adorable
Beach Car: i am shim sham
Beach Car: except without freckles
Draco: Shimmer's basically skinny Jinako now.
Gooper Blooper: HAW
Gooper Blooper: (needs glasses)
---
Jumpropeman: PlotFacts: I was worried when Draco kept joking that Gysel was the seed for a new Deck that he had figured Shimmer's thing out and was joking with a wrong guess to indicate that :V
Draco: Nope. Had no idea.
Bree: remember that time somebody went "UNITY IS SELAH" and tom was like "YOU'VE FIGURED OUT ALL MY PLANS" and nobody believed him?
Bree: that
Bree: every time someone admits they thought someone else figured out their plot ahead of time
Bree: I think of that
---
(Shimmerplot ends)
Jumpropeman: alright
Jumpropeman: *deflates*
Jumpropeman: i was a balloon ready to pop this whole plot :V
RubyChao: why's that
Jumpropeman: well, Shimmer's been sad and stuff before but I'm not sure I ever put her in true peril like this, and I was worried how it would go and stuff (especially since I scuttled another birthday for it). It hurt to hurt my baby... BUT I FINALLY GOT YOU GUYS TO FIGHT SHIMMER, DECKPLOT IS TRULY COMPLETE
RubyChao: SO THAT WAS THE REAL PLAN
RubyChao: YOU TRICKED ME
RubyChao boycotts the next Shimmerplot
Gooper Blooper: it's "Alruthine plot was just a ruse to finally fight Bill Clinton" all over again!
Draco: DECKPLOT ISN'T DONE UNTIL SHIMMER IS DEAD
Draco stabs Koakuma.
Draco: Oops. Missed.
---
(Chao links a now-gone site that was accepting art for an official Garfield 40th Anniversary book)
RubyChao: i want to see some ridiculous stuff in this
Draco: I want IMfield.
Draco: JRM: Draw Garfield with a nose.
Draco: Neat as it sounds, am I the only one who finds it sketchy (no pun intended) that Jim Davis is pretty much asking for free art so he can sell it back to people?
The Inscription On Hells Gate: Nay, you're not.
Draco: Cool. Just checking.
Draco: "If we pick yours, you'll get your name in the book." Wow. Sounds like he's asking people to work for exposure.
DMG: yeah, sounds like that's the case
DMG: but hey, if it works, I can't really blame him
Draco: I'm sure there are plenty of eager folks out there who are happy to do this, whether they see it like I do or not, and I'm sure there are kids out there who love Garfield that'll submit, but like Ruby says, I want to see some ridiculous oddball stuff in there too. :p
DMG: http://imgur.com/gallery/5YTBI
RubyChao: i'm really hoping jim davis just fucks with everyone
RubyChao: and this entire book is nothing but surrealistic nonsense
RubyChao: cover to cover it is garfield as never intended
Draco: So Garfield Minus Garfield? :p
RubyChao: square root of minus garfield
RubyChao: also daily garfield
DMG: which is infinitely funnier than actual Garfield
Draco: Right. Thank you for correcting me. 🙂
Jumpropeman: here draco
Jumpropeman: garfield with a nose
Jumpropeman: should i submit my garfield for the book
MobileDrac: Yes.
Jumpropeman: tweeted it at garfman himself
Draco: It is glorious.
---
SteelKomodo: in 2012, Novosibirsk Zoo had a liger have a cub with a tiger
Jumpropeman: a mule was able to mate naturally too once, hence the Encyclopedia Brown mystery being somewhat "invalidated"
Bree: I just want to take a moment to respect that SK correctly spelled "novosibirsk"
Bree ~respect~
---
Bree: reading tumblr
Bree: found a post that said this
Bree: "holy fuck we have our windows open and we heard a blood curling scream so naturally I went to look out the window because wow is someone getting stabbed?? and it is just my neighbour on his knees staring at a KFC chicken bucket spilt all over his driveway"
Beach Car: honestly?
Beach Car: same.
---
Bree: goops I have a dumb question
Gooper Blooper: sup
Bree: can any of the nostalgiakin eat besides dolby
Bree: like, real food
Gooper Blooper: No
Bree: okay because I was browsing tumblr posts about food related nostalgia
Bree: and I got this mental image of like
Bree: zenith can't eat but now dolby can eat
ivelanky: not even the food nostalgia elemental can eat
Bree: so he's just constantly making dolby eat nostalgia foods
ivelanky: it's sad
RubyChao: he's not food nostalgia tho
RubyChao: he's old commercials nostalgia
ivelanky: old food commercials? :U
RubyChao: yes, it includes those
Gooper Blooper: I think Dolby mentioned last year, old food can actually power her to a limited extent if she sucks it in normally like a tape
Bree: "what're you having for dinner dolby" "oh I was thinking maybe a cheeseburg--" "DOLBY YOU KNOW IT'S KID CUISINE AND SPAGHETTIOS NIGHT"
ivelanky: lel
Gooper Blooper: She can have a burger if she wants, but it needs to be a discontinued one
Gooper Blooper: like the Arch Deluxe
ivelanky: Dolby just needs to be careful about how old that food is
ivelanky: :U
Gooper Blooper: which is mcdonalds trying and failing to be fancy
Beach Car: danimals.
Beach Car: *doesn't know anything*
Gooper Blooper: Since Dolby's a robot and both her sense of taste and entire digestive system are artificial, she could eat just about anything without ill effects
RubyChao: even
RubyChao: POISONOUS SNAKES?
Gooper Blooper: she'd make a great royal taste tester
Gooper Blooper: "yeah, this is poisoned" *stands there, completely fine*
Bree: can you imagine, like
Bree: zenith gives her a food from one of his favorite, most cherished old commercials
Bree: like something really, really close to his heart
Bree: and dolby tries it
Bree: there's this long silence
Bree: and she's like "...wow. this tastes like shit."
Bree: "why did people buy this?"
RubyChao: i'm imagining his tv screen head just cracking in sorrow
---
Cornwind Evil: Who here has read Choose Your Own Adventure books?
Jumpropeman: I remember reading a goosebumps one
ivelanky: me
Gooper Blooper: I read a small handful long ago, but I was more into Give Yourself Goosebumps and a couple other books that weren't part of the actual series but were instead imitators
ivelanky: I think most people have read at least one, but I can't say for sure
RubyChao: i've read a few
Cornwind Evil: Well, there was apparently a sub-line of the books for younger kids
Cornwind Evil: And today I remembered the one I read, "Your Very Own Robot"
Cornwind Evil: Mainly because several of the endings were insane
Cornwind Evil: The idea is, you're a kid and you manage to build your own robot
Cornwind Evil: From there several things can happen, but the main crux of the insanity is if, for the first thing you decide to do with your robot is press a button on his side that says "Sing"
Cornwind Evil: (He has like ten labelled buttons on his side that do stuff)
Cornwind Evil: Instead of singing, the robot starts freaking out
ivelanky: welp
Cornwind Evil: So at this point you can either jump on your robot or get a bucket of water to throw on him
Cornwind Evil: If you pick the bucket, the robot freaks out some more, then calms down
Cornwind Evil: You ask if the robot is okay, and it says "Yes, but I can never fly again."
Gooper Blooper: Lemme guess
Gooper Blooper: 50 choices later, you come across a choice where you need the robot to fly, and if you did this interlude first, it can't and you die
Cornwind Evil: Nope. You say that's okay, but the robot replies "No, if I can't fly, I don't want to exist." and shuts itself down permanently. So you take it apart and build a racecar instead. THE END.
Gooper Blooper: quality storytelling
Cornwind Evil: So yeah you accidentally made your robot erase itself
Cornwind Evil: Anyway, if you jump on it, you can either try and control it, or just ride it
Bree: it commits robot suicide
Bree: damn son
Cornwind Evil: If you try and control it, you crash into a factory and end up in a giant tub of ice cream
Cornwind Evil: You get out, and the factory owner says "Okay, that will be $800 for ruining my ice cream. If you don't pay you'll go to jail."
Cornwind Evil: 1) You are a young child, 2) You don't have $800, 3) YOU ARE A YOUNG CHILD
Cornwind Evil: So you can decide to talk to your robot or go to jail
Cornwind Evil: If you talk to your robot, he reveals that through a combination of two of his functions, he can print money. So he prints out $800
Cornwind Evil: So congrats, now you've commited COUNTERFEITING!
Cornwind Evil: You take the robot home and go "You are going to print me lots of money and make me rich."
Cornwind Evil: The robot goes "Oops! I can only print money every 1000 years!"
Cornwind Evil: So you're ticked off at him, but get over this arbitrary limitation he didn't talk about. THE END
Beach Car: posted
Cornwind Evil: If you go to jail, well, you get locked in a cell, and you are told you only get bread and water and the robot only gets oil
Cornwind Evil: You say "I wish I never built you." The robot says "I wish you had left me in the trash. At least the food was good."
Cornwind Evil: Then you see your dad on TV and say he's your dad. The guard says you are lying
Cornwind Evil: THE END.
Cornwind Evil: So I guess you stayed in jail until you died
RubyChao: ...?
Cornwind Evil: In this world without bail, courts, trials, and child protective laws.
Gooper Blooper: So all three possibilities lead to such brief "adventures" there might as well have been only one path
Cornwind Evil: Anyway, the last absurd one I remember
Cornwind Evil: If you don't try and control your robot, it flies into space
Cornwind Evil: This is a kid's book so you don't die in hard vacuum, at least
Cornwind Evil: Then you get another chance to control it
Cornwind Evil: If you do, it crashes into the moon, but this gets it back under control, and you decide to go visit Venus, which is of course not a ball of hot gassy death but instead like a giant world of pudding
Cornwind Evil: Then you go home for the day. THE END. That's the good choice.
Cornwind Evil: The bad choice is to keep letting the robot go where it will. If you choose that, you end up flying across the galaxy and landing on the Planet of the Robots
Cornwind Evil: The Robot King says "We welcome you, but you cannot leave." "Why?" "Because if you return to Earth, the humans will make us work for them."
Cornwind Evil: "I can keep your secret." "Nope, you are staying with us."
Cornwind Evil: And the Robot King takes you apart and builds you into a robot.
Cornwind Evil: "Bleep! Oops!" you say, and no one ever sees you again. THE END
Cornwind Evil: Complete with a picture of the robot king doing so. Since it's a kid's book, it acts like the parts are like big 3D puzzle pieces, but still.
RubyChao: man
RubyChao: choose your own adventure books were always weird
RubyChao: but this is EXTRA weird
Gooper Blooper: They were
Gooper Blooper: but yeah this one sounds daffy even by CYOA standards
Gooper Blooper: I think there was a period in the late 80s/early 90s where they were really cranking these things out though, so it makes sense they would eventually devolve into random events
---
ivelanky: probably sitting this one out, I can't do much :U
Beach Car: enthralling performance
ivelanky: ...true
Gooper Blooper: Luitgard slowly plays more and more dramatic music in the background, eventually headbanging and throwing up the horns
ivelanky: I somehow doubt that would work though Harps :U
ivelanky: Goops, yes
---
Ramen Rider: I keep listening to Bus Stop's Kung Fu Fighting
Ramen Rider: help
ivelanky: I can't help
ivelanky: it's a little bit too frightening
---
MobileDrac: I have sussed out Regigigas' killer. It was: Skeiron.
-: Would you describe the crime as a Regicide?
SteelKomodo: plz
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