"DUFES, has anennyone sene alex around anywear"
"FUCK I'M EATING ALL THESE BLACK LEGENDS"
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Cutting Room Floor
Over the course of the last summer, I've drawn many a picture in MS Paint for my characters, especially Widow Maker and Sarah. Since one can never anticipate for sure what will happen when RPing, a few drawings I've made went unused - all of them featuring Sarah. Here they are, for better or worse.
This evil white mage came about from a boredom-fueled drawing session. Is it Sarah? A doppelganger? One of her sisters? Who knows, because I never got that far! At one point I think I considered having Tiamat kidnap Sarah and her sisters and use them as a lure to get the Warriors of Light to the Flying Fortress, and they would be attacked by a possessed Sarah and try to come up with a way to free her without hurting her too badly.
Here is the problem with using a lot of pictures to show expressions in your RPing - when your character gets a new accessory, you have to acknowledge or handwave it. I had considered adding Sarah's locket to all her standard poses, but opted to have her keep it tucked away in her robe instead as I wasn't pleased with the result and didn't think it was worth the work.
Nothing special here, just the old idiot hair poking gif but faster.
Turns out Sarah never drank one of Hella Jeff's drinks (Bimp or Sweet Vermouth and Hella Gin).
"DUFES, has anennyone sene alex around anywear"
"FUCK I'M EATING ALL THESE BLACK LEGENDS"
"DUFES, has anennyone sene alex around anywear"
"FUCK I'M EATING ALL THESE BLACK LEGENDS"
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Skeiron's Joke Book
A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.
Q: Why did the television show fail?
A:Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.
Q: Why didn't the stove work correctly?
A: Because the pilot light was a loaf of bread.
Q: Why did the police eat the criminal accused of illegally downloading films onto his computer?
A: Because the pirate was a loaf of bread.
Q: Why couldn't the baker do his exercises?
A: Because the Pilates was a loaf of bread.Q: An enormous store that sells school and office supplies has several parking areas named after common math terms. Unfortunately, one of these areas was devoured by birds. Why?
A: Because the Pi lot was a loaf of bread.
Q: Why couldn't the Pokemon trainer evolve his Pokemon?
A: Because the Wynaut was a loaf of bread.
Q: Why was the floral shop customer dissatisfied with their bouquet?
A: Because the violet was a loaf of bread.
Q: Why couldn't the dress properly fasten?
A: Because the eyelet was a loaf of bread.
Q: Why couldn't the statistician get his presentation done?
A: Because the pie chart was a loaf of bread.
Q: Why didn't Alex get a good night's sleep?
A: Because the pillow was a loaf of bread.Q: Why was the new bathroom a failure?
A: Because the toilet was a loaf of bread.
Q: Why was the pilot a loaf of bread?
A: Because the plane crashed.
Q: Why did WarMech fall in love with Sine at the bakery?
A: Because her new life was a loaf of bread.Q: Why was the toast able to fly planes?
A: Because the loaf of bread was a pilot.Q: Why did the WarMech win the fight?
A: Because the Mecha Dragon was a loaf of bread.Q: Why did the video game programmer experience difficulty in coding his latest cartridge?
A: Because the 8 bits were a loaf of bread.
Q: Why is a raven like a writing desk?
A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.
Q: Why was the business venture successful?
A: Because the competition was a loaf of bread.
Q: Why was the wine-maker a hit at the bake sale?
A: Because the pinot was a loaf of bread!
Q: Why was the amateur computer animator dissatisfied with his choice of program?
A: Because the Pivot was a loaf of bread.
The Lord is a loaf of bread.
Q: Why was this unit's wedding gift delicious?
A: Because the present was a loaf of banana bread.
Jokes in purple are courtesy of Gentleman Draco.
Jokes in red courtesy of RedSpy.
Joke in orange courtesy of Cornwind Evil.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Vinyl figures. Vinyl figures everywhere.
Some people collect coins. Some people collect stamps. I have had several collections over the years, including plastic dinosaurs and (like every child at the turn of the century) Pokemon cards.
But for the last couple years I've mostly been rounding up vinyl action figures of giant monsters.
This picture is slightly out of date - There are several toys I have gotten since this photo, and a couple of the tiny ones at the bottom I have sold on eBay. There are also several small toys that were left out because they are on a little shelf on the other side of my room.
There are toys from the Gamera and Ultraman series, but for the most part it's Godzilla Central. I've been collecting since January 2008, and lately new arrivals have trickled to a standstill because A) I don't have the money, B) I'm not the sort of person to drop 300 bucks on a seven-inch-tall Biollante even if I WAS blessed with a gorillion dollars, and C) I've gotten pretty much all the lower-cost merch I can find.
Also I'm kinda running out of room.
I may go into detail about some of these guys in later posts.
But for the last couple years I've mostly been rounding up vinyl action figures of giant monsters.
(click the photo for a larger view)
This picture is slightly out of date - There are several toys I have gotten since this photo, and a couple of the tiny ones at the bottom I have sold on eBay. There are also several small toys that were left out because they are on a little shelf on the other side of my room.
There are toys from the Gamera and Ultraman series, but for the most part it's Godzilla Central. I've been collecting since January 2008, and lately new arrivals have trickled to a standstill because A) I don't have the money, B) I'm not the sort of person to drop 300 bucks on a seven-inch-tall Biollante even if I WAS blessed with a gorillion dollars, and C) I've gotten pretty much all the lower-cost merch I can find.
Also I'm kinda running out of room.
I may go into detail about some of these guys in later posts.
Monday, October 3, 2011
God DAMMMMMMMNNNNNN
You know what I hate?
SEASONAL. ALLERGIES.
Okay, for those who don't know, if you have "seasonal allergies", that means Mother Nature basically has a free pass to fuck with you whenever it wants and there's nothing you can do about it, usually in fall and spring. "Oh hello there GB, were you planning something today? Well, you can still do it, only you're going to have watery eyes and a runny nose all day kthxbye." And, of course, allergy medicine works roughly 25% of the time. Usually (like TODAY) I take a pill and all that happens is I'm out one pill.
All of my hate.
SEASONAL. ALLERGIES.
Okay, for those who don't know, if you have "seasonal allergies", that means Mother Nature basically has a free pass to fuck with you whenever it wants and there's nothing you can do about it, usually in fall and spring. "Oh hello there GB, were you planning something today? Well, you can still do it, only you're going to have watery eyes and a runny nose all day kthxbye." And, of course, allergy medicine works roughly 25% of the time. Usually (like TODAY) I take a pill and all that happens is I'm out one pill.
All of my hate.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
RP Retrospective (Part 2)
Okay, let's finish up the look back at the characters I assumed roles for this past summer.
THE NECRONOMITRON
Now THIS was interesting to do. While Widow Maker was in the hospital, Sine Cosine gave her an unidentified package as a gift. With no description, I was free to make up what the contents were. I thought of several potential items, mostly weapons and such, but settled on a mysterious book with an emblem on the front that looked suspiciously like a certain Martian's eye...
The Necronomitron was the Loser's League incarnation of Zoofights III's Martian, but it was dropped from the roster and never mentioned again. With the passing of not only two more tournaments but also a universe reboot thanks to Croctopus, it was clear that this potential plot thread would never be picked up, so I came up with my own design for the Necronomitron - a possessed book with the Martian's tentacles. Since he was Brother Chucked in the official tournament, his personality was jealous, revenge-seeking, and tortured at his unfair elimination (he actually won his Round 1 fight but was sent to the Loser's League anyway). The result was a tragic sort of villain who had some good points about his frustrations, but he was going to go a little too far in getting his revenge.
My plan was to keep him in the shadows for a long time, and he would return at the climax of the tournament for an exciting fight. However, two things interfered. The first was Air Man's challenge to fight Necro in a Fite Yer Mates match, which forced him out of hiding much earlier than intended. The second was the RP Explosion - even if the Martian had been left alone, the plots soon went far beyond his scope, making him hardly a blip on the radar compared to some other peoples' villains.
And then the Martian lost his fight, which led to Air Man's survival and the Martian's Heel Face Turn, making him a heroic guardian who wound up sacrificing his life to keep the bar safe, only to merge with his pet Biollante in one of my stranger ideas. It was the first of several reformed villains I would be using...
THE FIVE MANTIS BAND
I like to use the things I win in bets at the Betting Corner. Although I don't always find a use for everything, other things see considerable action, such as the Supermarine Walrus plane, Sarah's shutter shades, and some of my unclaimed bets like the Golden Game Brute and Commodore 64. Widow Maker won five normal-sized, instrument-playing mantids from Jumpropeman after Neuromantis beat Cash Cow, and they became fringe joke characters that make an appearance every so often, usually to play a song. They haven't done much in recent weeks, but they're in talks to play at a certain ninja wedding...
CELESTIA
The Warriors of Light plot, like so many other things in RP-land, has grown much larger than my original vision for it. The original plan was for Sarah to find the four Warriors of Light and give them their crystals, then hold off a fleet of WarMechs before going to the Flying Fortress to defeat Tiamat and take home a ton of treasure. Then I considered making the final fight more exciting by including the other Fiends. And THEN they started attacking the bar separately, and now Tiamat is assembling minions from other people's plots and now it's four plots in one and the Tiamat battle is going to be the Bar's final boss. I just need to find the right day to do it.
Wait, none of this is about Celestia.
Celestia (Sarah's mother) got her start as a minion of Tiamat's. Her first mention was in a photo album of Sarah's - a black mage appears in some of the pictures, but is absent in all the more recent ones. My original implication was that she had died, but I left it ambiguous. Later, while looking up WarMech pictures, I found one that appeared to have a cockpit. Intrigued by the idea of a giant manned WarMech leading the others, I brought it into the story and decided to have Sarah's mother drive it. It was my intention from the start that she would survive and Heel Face Turn, making her the second reformed villain of mine.
Celestia is a pretty fun and diverse character to write for. Her experience with the WarMechs makes her a mechanical genius, and I like having my characters be capable of helping others in unique ways. Her motherly demeanor opens up possibilities for all sorts of pleasant mommy things and allowed her to befriend Little Walter. And, just like her daughter, every so often she winds up drunk...
SKEIRON
Another "happy accident", Skeiron is one of Celestia's WarMechs. He arose from a simple gag wherein one of her generic robots, WarMech-3, was aware of the fact that it was a doomed mook and was therefore trying to get in some memorable one-liners before getting killed and forgotten about. RedSpy mentioned he thought it was funny, and then... "Can we keep him?"
I used WM3 a few more times leading up to the match, showing that he wasn't interested in fighting. His pacifism saved him in the fight, when he was the only WarMech to survive. But then Cornwind Evil decided to kill him off instead, having Devastator stomp him to smithereens during the six-hour Lord marathon. I considered keeping him dead, since I was already managing three characters at once, but I opted to revive him a few days later, and he now shows up occasionally. The robot became a comedy character with the principal gimmicks of robospeak, not understanding popular culture but quoting it anyway, and (the crowd favorite) making as many jokes as possible despite only knowing one punchline. Much later he acquired the name Skeiron to reflect his fondness for Zephyrus, the only bar character to have really befriended him.
Annnnd this post is even longer than the last. Derp.
THE NECRONOMITRON
Now THIS was interesting to do. While Widow Maker was in the hospital, Sine Cosine gave her an unidentified package as a gift. With no description, I was free to make up what the contents were. I thought of several potential items, mostly weapons and such, but settled on a mysterious book with an emblem on the front that looked suspiciously like a certain Martian's eye...
The Necronomitron was the Loser's League incarnation of Zoofights III's Martian, but it was dropped from the roster and never mentioned again. With the passing of not only two more tournaments but also a universe reboot thanks to Croctopus, it was clear that this potential plot thread would never be picked up, so I came up with my own design for the Necronomitron - a possessed book with the Martian's tentacles. Since he was Brother Chucked in the official tournament, his personality was jealous, revenge-seeking, and tortured at his unfair elimination (he actually won his Round 1 fight but was sent to the Loser's League anyway). The result was a tragic sort of villain who had some good points about his frustrations, but he was going to go a little too far in getting his revenge.
My plan was to keep him in the shadows for a long time, and he would return at the climax of the tournament for an exciting fight. However, two things interfered. The first was Air Man's challenge to fight Necro in a Fite Yer Mates match, which forced him out of hiding much earlier than intended. The second was the RP Explosion - even if the Martian had been left alone, the plots soon went far beyond his scope, making him hardly a blip on the radar compared to some other peoples' villains.
And then the Martian lost his fight, which led to Air Man's survival and the Martian's Heel Face Turn, making him a heroic guardian who wound up sacrificing his life to keep the bar safe, only to merge with his pet Biollante in one of my stranger ideas. It was the first of several reformed villains I would be using...
THE FIVE MANTIS BAND
I like to use the things I win in bets at the Betting Corner. Although I don't always find a use for everything, other things see considerable action, such as the Supermarine Walrus plane, Sarah's shutter shades, and some of my unclaimed bets like the Golden Game Brute and Commodore 64. Widow Maker won five normal-sized, instrument-playing mantids from Jumpropeman after Neuromantis beat Cash Cow, and they became fringe joke characters that make an appearance every so often, usually to play a song. They haven't done much in recent weeks, but they're in talks to play at a certain ninja wedding...
CELESTIA
The Warriors of Light plot, like so many other things in RP-land, has grown much larger than my original vision for it. The original plan was for Sarah to find the four Warriors of Light and give them their crystals, then hold off a fleet of WarMechs before going to the Flying Fortress to defeat Tiamat and take home a ton of treasure. Then I considered making the final fight more exciting by including the other Fiends. And THEN they started attacking the bar separately, and now Tiamat is assembling minions from other people's plots and now it's four plots in one and the Tiamat battle is going to be the Bar's final boss. I just need to find the right day to do it.
Wait, none of this is about Celestia.
Celestia (Sarah's mother) got her start as a minion of Tiamat's. Her first mention was in a photo album of Sarah's - a black mage appears in some of the pictures, but is absent in all the more recent ones. My original implication was that she had died, but I left it ambiguous. Later, while looking up WarMech pictures, I found one that appeared to have a cockpit. Intrigued by the idea of a giant manned WarMech leading the others, I brought it into the story and decided to have Sarah's mother drive it. It was my intention from the start that she would survive and Heel Face Turn, making her the second reformed villain of mine.
Celestia is a pretty fun and diverse character to write for. Her experience with the WarMechs makes her a mechanical genius, and I like having my characters be capable of helping others in unique ways. Her motherly demeanor opens up possibilities for all sorts of pleasant mommy things and allowed her to befriend Little Walter. And, just like her daughter, every so often she winds up drunk...
SKEIRON
Another "happy accident", Skeiron is one of Celestia's WarMechs. He arose from a simple gag wherein one of her generic robots, WarMech-3, was aware of the fact that it was a doomed mook and was therefore trying to get in some memorable one-liners before getting killed and forgotten about. RedSpy mentioned he thought it was funny, and then... "Can we keep him?"
I used WM3 a few more times leading up to the match, showing that he wasn't interested in fighting. His pacifism saved him in the fight, when he was the only WarMech to survive. But then Cornwind Evil decided to kill him off instead, having Devastator stomp him to smithereens during the six-hour Lord marathon. I considered keeping him dead, since I was already managing three characters at once, but I opted to revive him a few days later, and he now shows up occasionally. The robot became a comedy character with the principal gimmicks of robospeak, not understanding popular culture but quoting it anyway, and (the crowd favorite) making as many jokes as possible despite only knowing one punchline. Much later he acquired the name Skeiron to reflect his fondness for Zephyrus, the only bar character to have really befriended him.
Annnnd this post is even longer than the last. Derp.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
RP Retrospective (Part 1)
Okay, similar to what a few other people have done, I'm going to go over all of my RP characters and reflect on how they arrived and developed.
WIDOW MAKER
Originally, the wisecracking genre-savvy praying mantis was supposed to be my only character. And for four weeks, she was. But then, tragedy struck at Zoofights - Playing Mantis was defeated by Cray Fish by a single vote. Losing such a loved competitor by such a razor-thin margin, on top of having lost every single fight up to that point, was too much for Widow Maker, and she collapsed from a heart attack. With my character in the hospital, it was time to bring in...
HELLA JEFF
Hey, dufes. While his novelty wore off fairly quickly, for the fight between the Manglin' Pangolins and the Hippos With An Eating Disorder, Jeff here was a blast to write for. It was basically a game of "how many SBAHJ references can I cram into each post?". Jeff was selected because, since the intelligent Widow Maker had a 0/4 record for voting, she opted to bring in the stupidest character she could find as a replacement. Eventually, by the seventh fight of round 1, I switched back to Widow Maker and relegated Jeff to the occasional cameo.
SARAH
Oh my word, what the hell happened here. Widow Maker was tended to in the hospital by four white mages (the classic one-liner, "Four white mages? It'll never work!" being the entire reasoning). But it really started with "Fite Yer Mates", the RP game that pitted our characters against each other as if it was a mini-Zoofight. After a brutal tag-team match that left even the winners in poor shape, I brought in the white mages to heal their wounds. One of them, "White Mage 3", stuck around afterwards and became a sort of tagalong to Widow Maker. That was going to be the end of it - a two-character tag team, Widow Maker being the snarky veteran while White Mage was innocent and naive of the carnage. This lasted for one fight - Achilles Eel vs. Teslacorn.
Then Alex showed up and things started to get crazy.
The knight/janitor had always been there, but posts were infrequent and Alex's avatar was an old sprite. But when signups for the 18-way Fite Yer Mates Big Bar Brawl were going on, Jumpropeman (Fite organizer) requested full-body pictures of everyone for drawing references, so Alex goes and posts a picture of Ramza from Final Fantasy Tactics. I was unsure of who to vote for in the brawl, so I had White Mage 3 start crushing on him. Then Alex caught me off guard when he asked for a name to properly thank her by. I managed to come up with "Sarah". Over the next few days the two of them fell in love, forming the first (and what I naively thought would be the only) bar pairing.
The one thing that I planned for that has actually panned out regarding Sarah is the cuteness. I thought it would be amusing to have an incredibly adorable character in Zoofights, and she's actually gotten cuter with each new development. She's a tiny, happy-go-lucky, lovey-dovey little blob of goo in a robe, and I've been able to do a lot of enjoyable things with her. I also enjoy when she gets mad, because that's when I can unleash Angry Sarah, who is a total badass.
Sarah is by far my most complicated character, so I can see how she's made this post so long. I'll cover my other guys later.
WIDOW MAKER
Originally, the wisecracking genre-savvy praying mantis was supposed to be my only character. And for four weeks, she was. But then, tragedy struck at Zoofights - Playing Mantis was defeated by Cray Fish by a single vote. Losing such a loved competitor by such a razor-thin margin, on top of having lost every single fight up to that point, was too much for Widow Maker, and she collapsed from a heart attack. With my character in the hospital, it was time to bring in...
HELLA JEFF
Hey, dufes. While his novelty wore off fairly quickly, for the fight between the Manglin' Pangolins and the Hippos With An Eating Disorder, Jeff here was a blast to write for. It was basically a game of "how many SBAHJ references can I cram into each post?". Jeff was selected because, since the intelligent Widow Maker had a 0/4 record for voting, she opted to bring in the stupidest character she could find as a replacement. Eventually, by the seventh fight of round 1, I switched back to Widow Maker and relegated Jeff to the occasional cameo.
SARAH
Oh my word, what the hell happened here. Widow Maker was tended to in the hospital by four white mages (the classic one-liner, "Four white mages? It'll never work!" being the entire reasoning). But it really started with "Fite Yer Mates", the RP game that pitted our characters against each other as if it was a mini-Zoofight. After a brutal tag-team match that left even the winners in poor shape, I brought in the white mages to heal their wounds. One of them, "White Mage 3", stuck around afterwards and became a sort of tagalong to Widow Maker. That was going to be the end of it - a two-character tag team, Widow Maker being the snarky veteran while White Mage was innocent and naive of the carnage. This lasted for one fight - Achilles Eel vs. Teslacorn.
Then Alex showed up and things started to get crazy.
The knight/janitor had always been there, but posts were infrequent and Alex's avatar was an old sprite. But when signups for the 18-way Fite Yer Mates Big Bar Brawl were going on, Jumpropeman (Fite organizer) requested full-body pictures of everyone for drawing references, so Alex goes and posts a picture of Ramza from Final Fantasy Tactics. I was unsure of who to vote for in the brawl, so I had White Mage 3 start crushing on him. Then Alex caught me off guard when he asked for a name to properly thank her by. I managed to come up with "Sarah". Over the next few days the two of them fell in love, forming the first (and what I naively thought would be the only) bar pairing.
The one thing that I planned for that has actually panned out regarding Sarah is the cuteness. I thought it would be amusing to have an incredibly adorable character in Zoofights, and she's actually gotten cuter with each new development. She's a tiny, happy-go-lucky, lovey-dovey little blob of goo in a robe, and I've been able to do a lot of enjoyable things with her. I also enjoy when she gets mad, because that's when I can unleash Angry Sarah, who is a total badass.
Sarah is by far my most complicated character, so I can see how she's made this post so long. I'll cover my other guys later.
Thanks, Alex.
AlextheJanitor, gonna thank you for three things here.
1: Thanks for helping me get involved in the nonsense that is the Zoofights RP Forum.
2: Thanks for starting this trend of every regular RPer having their own dang blog.
3: And thanks for making me want to play Kirby games again. I'm a little behind on the series and I like to game on a budget, so I'm going to get Epic Yarn for my birthday in a couple weeks.
I don't know how often I'll use this thing, but I have some ideas for what to put here in the future.
1: Thanks for helping me get involved in the nonsense that is the Zoofights RP Forum.
2: Thanks for starting this trend of every regular RPer having their own dang blog.
3: And thanks for making me want to play Kirby games again. I'm a little behind on the series and I like to game on a budget, so I'm going to get Epic Yarn for my birthday in a couple weeks.
I don't know how often I'll use this thing, but I have some ideas for what to put here in the future.
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