Sunday, May 26, 2013

Catilyn, the Chatzy Enigma

Catilyn joined the chat
Catilyn: Hello
Catilyn: good night
SteelKomodo: Um, hello
Gooper Blooper: HERE COMES A NEW CHALLENGER
TheDeleter: uh
TheDeleter: hi
SteelKomodo: What
TheDeleter: caitlyn i told you, i quit playing league of legend weeks ago
TheDeleter: you can't take me back
Catilyn: Here
TheDeleter: i'm over you
TheDeleter: dota treats me right
SteelKomodo: XD
Catilyn: picture
TheDeleter: you probly won't get that
Catilyn: cool
TheDeleter: oh?
Catilyn: yeah
Cornwind Evil: And we're suddenly in Moonside in Earthbound
Catilyn: So much.
Gooper Blooper: We've had quite a few mysterious guests, but never one quite this incoherent
Draco: BOING
Catilyn: Hello
Gooper Blooper: ...You think it's a bot?
SteelKomodo: Mebbe
Catilyn: you take can
Catilyn: me too
Gooper Blooper: you can't get ye flask
Draco: Do you hate the Lannisters?
Catilyn: flushing mi
Draco: What level are you?
Catilyn: see Catilyn?
TheDeleter: where the hell is jumpropeman
Draco: Run Catilyn run
Catilyn: yes ?
Gooper Blooper: JRM does Fite Yer Mysterious Chat Guests
Catilyn: Not
TheDeleter: what do you want catilyn
Cornwind Evil: Wait, is this Rainbow Dash?
Catilyn: Hey
Draco: Is it the Batman?
Catilyn: no
TheDeleter: i think catilyn only responds to certain keywords
TheDeleter: like her name, and questions
Catilyn: Homework?
Gooper Blooper: She needs to join the forum and do automated RP
Catilyn: sister2?
Gooper Blooper: Would still somehow wind up in a pairing
TheDeleter: yeah okay, she's a bot
Draco: Catilyn, if you can understand us, say "Apple"
Catilyn: april and Chris ?
Gooper Blooper: >​ apple
Gooper Blooper: >​ april
Gooper Blooper: SO CLOSE
Catilyn: hey
Draco: HEY
TheDeleter: maybe she's a barret fan
Gooper Blooper: #HEY
TheDeleter: ~Hey
Cornwind Evil: INSURGENTS
Draco rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 19
Catilyn: OMG
Cornwind Evil: NOT A BIT NERVOUS
Draco: omg
Gooper Blooper: LITTLE BIT FURTHER TO GO
Catilyn: funny
Draco: FUNNY?
TheDeleter: well whoever coded her made her know acronyms
Draco: (I'm trying to speak its language.)
Catilyn: cats ?
Catilyn: Yes.
Draco: Cats! Good.
Catilyn: Puppy cute
Draco: And fuzzy.
Draco: (I think it likes you, Goops.)
TheDeleter: goops are you noting this down, we need to record this for science and history
Catilyn: I love you?
TheDeleter: woah shit
TheDeleter: goops you were right
TheDeleter: we've gotten to the shipping phase already
Catilyn: Lol
Cornwind Evil rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 6
Gooper Blooper: amazing
SteelKomodo: XD
Catilyn: lol
Draco: I think it wishes to breed.
Catilyn: youlolrof me
Gooper Blooper: this is gonna be one hell of a chatzy madness
SteelKomodo: Right, going to bed now
Gooper Blooper: goodnight SK
SteelKomodo: don't forget to vote on Monster Mash!
Draco: Madness? THIS...IS...CHATZY!
Draco rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 13
Gooper Blooper rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 1
Gooper Blooper: DERP
SteelKomodo: Night, all, stay cool!
SteelKomodo left the chat
Gooper Blooper: Caitlyn's gone too
TheDeleter: damn it i can't do anything without premium rooms and stuff
Gooper Blooper: came on to me and then left
Draco: Later, SK.
Draco: I'm sorry, Goops. There's other bots in the sea.
Gooper Blooper: ONLY FIFTY CENTS A DAY, DEL
Draco: Like Tramadol.
TheDeleter: okay, caitlyn must have either been a) an amazingly terrible bot or b) one of us doing an ARG thing with a dedication the like of which the world has never known
Gooper Blooper: M-maybe it's like when Sarah got cold feet and teleported away
Gooper Blooper: *forever alone*
TheDeleter: and none of us have the skillz or patience for b) so it must be a)
Draco: You're probably right.
Draco: Next time of Draco's Story: a wild village of Tapogres?! How can this be?!

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Chatzy Madness Volume 50: King Harkinian's Hairy Legs

SteelKomodo: ...i have had a theory
SteelKomodo: this never bodes well, but here we are
SteelKomodo: you know the theory that every Link in the Legend of Zelda games is the reincarnation of the same hero?
RedSpy: mhm
SteelKomodo: This is incorrect. Every Link is the reincarnation of a pimp
RedSpy: . . . pfffffft what
RedSpy: Explain this sounds amazin
SteelKomodo: Well, consider the amount of girls he comes into contact with
SteelKomodo: a good portion of whom have shown an interest in him
SteelKomodo: Granted, one is a fish girl, one is a tree and the other is his best friend's mom (long story)
SteelKomodo: but is there any sign of him rejecting these advances?
SteelKomodo: Hell, Fi notes that he seems quite receptive to Peatrice, and despite her warning him not to tell Zelda he goes along with it
SteelKomodo: He's not trying to save Hyrule from Ganon or Vaati or whatever. His main objective, first and formost, is the hoes
SteelKomodo: I rest my case
RedSpy: Brilliance
RedSpy: He even borrows Boozer's ho train​
SteelKomodo: wait, hang on, gotta elaborate a bit - Skyward Sword was the first Link, right?
RedSpy: Yush
SteelKomodo: And that link got involved with Peatrice and a lot of stuff got implied with Pipit's mom (again, long story)
SteelKomodo: so basically that Link was a pimp, and every Link since then is his reincarnation trying to top himself in the ho department
SteelKomodo: hell, the subtext of every conversation he had with a female in OoT seemed to be, as Yahtzee put it, "Fuck me"
RedSpy: Pffft
SteelKomodo: The legends call him a hero because he beats the bad guy. But what they fail to mention was that this only happened because the bad guy got in the way of his pimpin'
SteelKomodo: once again, I rest my case
RedSpy: Well, he DOES have a big phallic sword
RedSpy: That he uses to solve all his problems
Erebus: Link was just a level 20 or so Bard. Especially in Oot.
SteelKomodo: XD
SteelKomodo: also yeah, the Master Sword isn't called that without reason
SteelKomodo: wink wink nudge nudge
SteelKomodo: of course, there were setbacks - the whole thing on Koholint Island was the dream of a giant whale, and thus makes things complicated
SteelKomodo: and imagine the squabbling the Links in Four Swords had
RedSpy: Dirkfest 2011
SteelKomodo: petty much XD
Cornwind Evil: *is not amused by the slander of the greatest video game hero ever*
TheDeleter: Incredible
RedSpy: Paul Phoenix hasn't been slandered
SteelKomodo: http://www.roflcat.com/images/cats/Deal_With_It.jpg
Cornwind Evil: *puts Redspy in a box*
SteelKomodo: also thanks del :3
RedSpy: You cannot hold me in a box
RedSpy: You cannot stop me with a fox
RedSpy: GREEN EGGS AND EGGS
Cornwind Evil: Ah, but you see
Cornwind Evil: It was all just an elaborate scheme
Cornwind Evil: To get you sued by the estate of Theodore Giesel
RedSpy: Fuck D: