Monday, December 17, 2012

The GB Ensemble Royal Rumble - Part 7

The arena is silent. The crowd has largely fled. What few remain watch helplessly or cower in fright. It is quite obvious at this point that Mr. X was not supposed to be here, and that he was fully intending on getting his revenge, and silencing Ariel forever.

The petrified archer stares into the madman's gun barrel. Her white magic was not strong enough to stop point-blank bullets, and there was no time to try a distraction with Blink. Her mother and anyone else who could save her were incapacitated. Mr. X grinned cruelly, one finger curled around his gun's trigger.

In a burst of sparks, a burst of laser energy sent Mr. X's gun flying. Once Ariel processed what just happened, she cast Blink and scurried away. Mr. X, meanwhile, growled and turned to face the source of the attack.

"Who-?!"

"OHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"



"Pardon me, sir, but you're disrupting the Royal Rumble!"
"You really are, X. Time to go."

Mr. X jerked towards the second voice.


Barbon, the real 29th entrant, strolled out, staring coldly at his former boss. At the same time, Refbot drove into the ring. Now surrounded on three of four sides-

Ariel fizzled back into view, wielding Mr. X's gun and pointing it at his chest.

Now surrounded on all four sides, Mr. X wheeled, shooting death glares at each of his four tormentors.

Barbon pulled out a metal baseball bat.

Baltan, the announcer, opened his crablike claws, the interiors glowing.

Ariel took careful aim.

Refbot lifted his taser.

And all four struck at once, practically gibbing the former crime boss with lasers, head trauma, electricity, and gunfire.

ILLEGAL ENTRY KO

The rest of the time before Entry 30 arrives is spent by Ariel making sure her mother and Widow Maker were okay, while Simon woozily gets to his feet, Hella Jeff and Stag Beetle continue to do nothing, and The Necronomitron and Missingno continue to battle across the sky, completely ignoring everyone else.

BZZZZZZZ



"Have fun playing hero?"
"HOHOHOHO! It was great!"
"So who's this?"
"That's the thirtieth and final entry in the Barbon's Fite Club and Tavern Royal Rumble, Killbot Alpha!"
"What's his story? He looks vaguely familiar."
"Killbot Alpha is one of three Killbots created by Celestia to act alongside her famous WarMechs as security guards!"
"So he'll likely ally with her and her daughter."
"Very possible. We've seen several team-ups throughout this rumble."

While Killbot rolls towards the ring, Barbon checks to ensure Celestia and the other fighters hurt by Mr. X were still interested in participating.

"Damn right! It's the final ten! Let's do this!"
"I think I've had enough excitement for today. Maybe I ought to go have a rest."
"Come on, Celestia! STAND AND FIGHT!"
Celestia mulled it over, glancing at her prosthetic. "Welllll... I could try a few more tricks with my new arm."
"That's the spirit!"

Six entrants assembled in the ring. Forming a rough circle were Barbon, Killbot, Widow Maker, Ariel, Celestia, and Simon. Just as they were about to start their fight, Missingno smoothly dropped down from above to float in the center of the ring.

Several dozen feet away, a nearly-fully-glitched Necronomitron collapsed into the bleachers.

KO - 9 REMAIN

Meanwhile...

"Dufe trust me this is going to be SO SWEET man! Get on the skabord!!"

Stag Beetle, in no position to refuse, woozily climbs onto Sweet Bro's skateboard. Giddily, Hella Jeff picks up the board and throws it as hard as he can.

"WE HAVE

LIFDOFF

into the sky"

And out of the arena, too.

KO - 8 REMAIN

Hella Jeff slides over to join the others. The eight competitors begin to size each other up...

Widow Maker spots Simon, the one who defeated her at last summer's Fite Club Open House. She advances on the freakish fish-tossing robot, ready to extract revenge.

Hella Jeff's noodly arms are getting too close to Killbot for comfort. Fixing the misshapen manlike thing with his red visor, the security bot plans Jeff's demise.

Celestia and Missingno circle each other. The exhausted black mage searches for possible weak points, while Missingno, a bit worn down from fighting The Necronomitron so hard, gives nothing away to its opponent.

The fourth pair is one of honor - Barbon and Ariel settle into fighting stances, ready for a simple and fair duel.

Widow Maker's claws smash into Simon's arms, and her slightly smaller opponent is hoisted up. She executes a devastating piledriver, leaving a huge dent in the robot's head.

"Where does she get that power?!"
"She's a former Zoofighter, I've heard. Zoofighters are known for endurance."
"Final Mantisy."
"Most of the time."

Widow Maker rips and slices with her claws, trying to tear right into her enemy. Desperate, Simon summons an extra-large fish, giving Widow Maker a faceful of ocean sunfish. The massive animal corpse makes Widow Maker stagger under its weight, and Simon follows up with a grouper, then climbs up onto the fish to pin down Widow Maker. She goes down, trapped and unable to move. Simon, sparking from his wounds, showboats to the few people brave and/or stupid enough to still be watching the Rumble in person.

A few seconds later, Simon learns two things.

One: Pins don't count in a Rumble.

Two: Don't showboat if your opponent is not defeated yet.

With a highly unpleasant ripping noise, Widow Maker's claws spear straight through the ocean sunfish and slam around Simon's waist. Widow Maker jerks backwards, rolling along the ring a little as she hurls Simon, who tumbles end-over-end through the air until hitting the floor with a crash of sparks.

A few seconds later, Widow Maker crawls out from under the fish and dumps them over the side, pinning Simon beneath them.

KO - 7 REMAIN

While that was happening, Killbot trundled towards Hella Jeff. Its' eye flashed, and a beam of light struck the blue-suited abomination. A hole was punched right through Jeff. Encouraged, Killbot kept up the pressure, but Jeff began warping and distorting his form to dodge the shots.

A port opened on Killbot's front, and a small claw on a rope shot out, whipping around Hella Jeff's left leg. Killbot sent an electrical burst through the cable, trying to electrocute its' enemy. Jeff seemed stunned for a moment, but then one arm became far longer and more noodly than usual as he reached outside the arena and grabbed his bro's skateboard, which Stag Beetle had abandoned after being eliminated.

"HE HE

HE"

Killbot's head spun on its axis as Jeff smashed him with the board. Killbot retaliated with an all-out assault, firing lasers and pulsing electricity into the cable. But Jeff dropped the board and grasped the cable, even as the electricity made jpg artifacts light up and puff into smoke around him. With strength that seemed impossible from such a non-muscled creature, Jeff began swinging Killbot around on the cable. Faster and faster and-

"SO; lonk me BOWSIY"

Hella Jeff let go, and Killbot hurtled through the air, crashing against the first set of bleachers, then collapsing forwards onto the floor.

KO - 6 REMAIN

Celestia knew that touching Missingno would cause corruption. Fortunately she had the best projectiles of anyone here. She cast a Blizzard spell to test Missingno's reflexes, and watched the Glitch That Should Not Be jerk to the side to avoid it. She cast again, and it dodged again. Missingno flash-stepped to Celestia a bit at a time, closing the gap and avoiding every spell. Once Missingno was at point-blank range, it prepared a Water Gun-

The Blizzaga smashed into Missingno at full force, freezing the glitch into a solid block of ice.

Celestia waited.

Missingno was frozen solid.

Slowly she advanced. Upon reaching the block, she began to push it towards the ring ropes.

In the blink of an eye, the block was empty.

"What?"

Celestia stared dumbly at the ice block, which now contained a very nice Missingno-shaped hole and nothing else.

Behind her, Missingno swung its' lower body back as if its' top was attached to an invisible hinge, then kicked forward, booting Celestia right in the rear and sending her flying out of the arena and out of contention.

"What an embarrassing exit for such an enduring combatant."
"Pfffffhahahahahaha-"

KO - 5 REMAIN

Ariel and Barbon both fought physically, but still differed dramatically in style. Barbon was much taller and stronger than Ariel, while the young environmentalist was more nimble and harder to hit. The bartender kept trying to go for grapples, while Ariel worked to stay at midrange, jumping in with a quick strike before dashing backwards to avoid retaliation.

It was only a matter of time before Barbon caught her.

The mustachoied bartender worked to get a good hold on Ariel, shuffling to the ring's ropes in preparation for dumping her over the side. But as he lifted Ariel up, she leaned back and began tugging Barbon off his feet. Barbon staggered, trying to stay upright, but Ariel kept pushing. With a final heave, Barbon fell backwards along with Ariel, who jumped to her feet. Barbon followed, but slower. Ariel's quick strikes earlier had worn him down. He lunges forward again, grabbing Ariel's arms before she can dodge. He hefts her up onto his shoulders and walks to the ropes, dropping her over the side with a laugh.

But while he lets go, his foe doesn't.

Ariel is gripping desperately to Barbon, her arms hooked around the top rope. She pulls, and Barbon rolls over her and to the floor below. Panting heavily, she tumbles back into the ring, leaving a stunned Barbon to wonder what the heck just happened.

KO - 4 REMAIN

 All of these clashes happened at roughly the same time. Once Ariel, Widow Maker, Missingno, and Hella Jeff had finished eliminating their opponents, they turned around to see each other.

"Only four left! The rumble has reached its' climax!"
"So it's gonna be a tiny little hippy girl, a doodle boy, a pile of computer code, or an eight-foot mantis Zoofighter? I'd say this is all wrapped up."
"Manhattan."
"DAMMIT."

[TO BE CONCLUDED]

THE GB ENSEMBLE ROYAL RUMBLE SO FAR:
#1 Garland enters
#2 Gamble Man enters
#3 Sakura Atari enters
#4 Little Brother enters
Gamble Man eliminated by Garland
#5 Big Brother enters 
Big Brother and Little Brother combine into Constructor X
#6 Skeiron enters
#7 Gloria enters
#8 Cleptopod enters
Garland summons Antlion, Ultros, and Omega
Antlion eliminated by Gloria
Ultros eliminated by Cleptopod
Garland eliminated by Cleptopod
#9 Dr. Rabbit enters 
Constructor X separates
Big Brother eliminated by Little Brother
Omega eliminated by Little Brother
#10 Clippy enters
Gloria eliminated by Cleptopod
#11 Mecha-Sarah enters
Little Brother eliminated by Mecha-Sarah
Dr. Rabbit eliminated by Sakura Atari
#12 Browny enters
#13 Dr. Bulgrave enters
#14 Widow Maker enters
#15 Tiamat enters
Browny eliminated by Tiamat
Cleptopod eliminated by Tiamat
Sakura Atari eliminated by Tiamat
Clippy eliminated by Tiamat
#16 Sarah enters
Tiamat eliminated by Sarah
#17 Electra enters
#18 Gust enters
#19 Josephine enters
Mecha-Sarah eliminated by Widow Maker
Skeiron eliminated by Widow Maker
#20 Blade enters
Dr. Bulgrave eliminated by Sarah and Josephine
#21 Celestia enters
Sarah eliminated by Electra
#22 The Necronomitron enters
Josephine eliminated by The Necronomitron
#23 Marlin the Magnificent enters
Blade eliminated by The Necronomitron
#24 Hella Jeff enters
#25 Ariel enters
#26 Stag Beetle enters
#27 Missingno enters
Gust eliminated by Celestia
#28 Simon 1994rd enters
Electra eliminated by Ariel
Marlin the Magnificent eliminated by Widow Maker
Mr. X appears
#29 Barbon enters
Mr. X killed by Barbon, Ariel, Refbot, and Baltan
#30 Killbot enters
The Necronomitron eliminated by Missingno
Stag Beetle eliminated by Hella Jeff
Simon 1994rd eliminated by Widow Maker
Killbot eliminated by Hella Jeff
Celestia eliminated by Missingno
Barbon eliminated by Ariel

THE FINAL FOUR:
#14 Widow Maker
#24 Hella Jeff
#25 Ariel
#27 Missingno

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