Chatzy Madness Volume 376: But Why, Though

(Re: Elliott's epilogue)

Draco: "They're good for business but my life doesn't revolve around them!" <- It does revolve around Citrus though.
Jungle Book 2 on Disney DVD: Someones gotta keep those breadheads in check!
Violet: breadheads, haaa

--- 

Miserable Sheep sees video titled: "A Witch's Spiritual Hoedown [Bonus Footage] [VHS]"
Miserable Sheep: Tempting.
Miserable Sheep: you're supposed to unspook it though
Violet: you're not supposed to unspook it
Miserable Sheep: unspook it you're supposed to though
Violet: okay yoda.

---

Jumpropeman joined the chat
Jumpropeman: i return in human form
thanksgivel: I'm not convinced
Draco: Me neither. Looks a bit...stretchy.
Jumpropeman browses at a thrift store but doesn't buy anything
Violet: that sounds like me
Jumpropeman: are you a human?
Violet: i window shop in more places than thrift stores
Violet: almost wrote "thrist stores"
Violet: which looks like "thirst stores"
Jumpropeman: Thirst Stores
Violet: so... dollar tree
thanksgivel: she's a Harpy, jrm
Jumpropeman: dang
Jumpropeman: my cover blown
Jumpropeman makes a nest out of string and human flesh? I'm new at this
thanksgivel puts a "You Tried" star on the nest
Draco: Harpy is secretly a creature of the Fey Wilds. RP is her way of dousing us in almost-lethal levels of cuteness.
Violet: i pledge my allegiance to the winter court, in an attempt to warm people's hearts
Violet: and also maybe overdo it.
Jumpropeman: I hadn't seen Brine's new cool ladies!
Violet: like gentle snowflakes turning into a dump of a snowstorm
Violet: its in his profiles now?
Jumpropeman: which one do I need to get unreasonably attached to this time
Jumpropeman: yup!
Violet: noice
Jumpropeman: I'm leaning toward Chunor
Draco: Goops and I already discussed which one DeMonde is adopting this year.
Jumpropeman: Game Gear's offseason misadventures as a stepmom: "You kids wanna play games together?" "Nah, not really." "Shit I'm out of ideas"
Violet: puppies...
Violet: or squidie...
Draco: It's okay, Game Gear. They're Nintendo Kids.

A Belated Behind the Scenes of 2017 GB Plots

It's been a long time coming, but now at last I'm bringing you some behind the scenes on my plots from Season 7. Here you'll find a chronological rundown of every event and details on the characters involved, what got cut, and my thought processes while plotting.

Kuwahawi, Here We Come!

Come along and ride on a fantastic voyage...

Dolby smiled and bobbed her head, listening to her tunes as she looked carefully around her room one last time to make absolutely sure she wasn't forgetting anything important. Not only did she have three big suitcases packed with personal items, but she was using herself as suitcase number four, having shoved all the nostalgia into her body she could comfortably carry. Perusing her depleted rack of cassette tapes one more time, she opted to grab one last blank tape and cram it into her mouth to join the rest.

"Dolby, it is time to depart." Odyssey droned from behind her. He carried only a single small case of items - his arcade machines were being shipped to Kuwahawi Island separately.

"Yeah, I think I'm set." Dolby nodded, smiling at her friend and turning her music down. "I still can't believe you're coming to Kuwahawi. I really thought I'd be the only Nostalgia Elemental to follow the Kobbers."

"Las Vegas is my home, and I will miss it. And when this is over, I will enjoy being back home." Odyssey's pupils flicked back and forth, looking at the ransacked state of Dolby's room as she had taken tons of her personal belongings and packed them up. "But I believe your desire to see more of the world is not without merit, and the opportunity to introduce these natives to arcade gaming is one I do not wish to miss. It shall be a worthwhile endeavor."

"Man, this place is gonna feel empty with you two gone."

Dolby and Odyssey turned to see Zenith, Sinclair, and Noir standing in the hallway, crowded around the entrance to Dolby's room. It had been Sinclair who had spoken, and he lowered his camera-like head. "We'll miss you."

"Come back safe, all right?" Zenith said, stepping in close. "I'll keep these two in line in the meantime."

"And when you get back," Noir piped up, "we can throw ourselves a little shindig!"

Zenith chuckles. "Sounds like a plan. In the meantime, have fun. We'll make sure to keep you in mind with music and games while you're gone."

Dolby grinned and hugged Zenith. "Thanks! Don't worry - we might get scuffed up a bit-"

"Might?" Sinclair laughed. "It's the kobbers! And you even said you want to fight in that Brawl they do every summer!"

"Hah, yeah! So we WILL get scuffed up. And probably worse. But we'll come back in one piece, just you wait and see!"

Odyssey began to move to the hall. "I shall miss you all as well. When you next see me, I shall have made arcade history."

Dolby followed Odyssey, and Sinclair came after them - it was he who would drive them to the airport. And as the waving Zenith and Noir vanished in the rear-view mirror and Odyssey and Sinclair made small talk, Dolby held up her smartphone and stared at her wallpaper, depicting her and her two best friends. Soon, she would finally see them again.

Here Be Monsters, Part 3

In the stifling, choking fog, Ariel, Penny, and Rinoa clenched their weapons, holding them at the ready with trembling hands. Their boat was overturned, nobody knew where they were, and the animal they thought was going to eat them had just itself been eaten by an unknown SOMETHING that was even larger.

All was quiet, silent, and still. All the girls could hear was the sound of their own breathing and the gentle lapping of the water against the shore. Then, some forty or fifty feet away, they heard the water churn as something emerged from it. There was the sound of something being dragged across the marshy earth. Ariel looked back at her companions, and she saw the same terrified, uncertain looks on their faces that she knew she must be wearing as well. What do they do? Is the creature leaving to feast on its' seafood dinner? Should they try and get the skiff righted? Would that draw more trouble?

Finally, Ariel swallowed and understood that if someone didn't take control of the situation, the three of them would just stand here quaking in fear until they were all dead. She gathered her composure. "Okay. Let's get the skiff upright and get out of here. It's probably still seaworthy, I don't think Hyneria broke any holes in it."

"R-right."

The girls edged into the water, wincing as the sloshing liquid made noises. They had to act quickly. Penny, Ariel, and Rinoa gripped the skiff and tried to push the end they held up and over to make the boat roll right-side up. With all the sounds of water, they didn't hear one more splash added to the chorus.

They had nearly gotten the skiff onto its' side when Penny saw the dark shape moving towards her in the water. "IT'S HERE!" she screamed, making a break for the shore. Ariel and Rinoa hurriedly followed, as a mouth big enough to swallow a truck tire whole snapped at the air where they had been standing only moments before. The girls quickly aimed their weapons as the creature finally revealed itself...

Here Be Monsters, Part 2

The air was thick and heavy, almost tangible in its' mass. Ariel felt like she was breathing cotton candy, but instead of sugary sweetness it was a swamplike stench. Visibility was poor. The girls could see about twenty feet in front of their faces clearly, but then their surroundings began to fade away into the mist.

"I don't like this at all..." Penny said, looking down at her feet as they slightly squashed on the damp ground. "What IS this place?"

"Something about this island feels... wrong." Ariel concurred, nodding. But her urge to explore it kept her going. She was frightened, true... but she was also very excited. An uncharted island, discovered by the World Progress Alliance?! Think of the publicity! So, carefully, she led her two companions forward. Ariel and Rinoa kept one hand on their bows, ready to shoot if necessary, while Penny carried a tranquilizer gun. Not the most devastating of armaments, but they should do if a wild animal got uppity with them.

As Ariel walked slowly forward, watching her step and remaining vigilant, she suddenly caught sight of something in the sky... she thought. It was blurry and foggy, and when she looked, it was gone. Might have been just a trick of the eyes.

The first definite sign of life was spotted in a tidal pool. Ariel stopped the others when she saw something squirming out of the corner of her eye, and slowly moved in to take a look. Within the pool were several inch-long wormlike creatures. Each one crawled around on the bottom of the pool on a dozen fleshy, boneless legs, and their backs were lined with pointy spines. Their tiny, near-featureless heads waggled to and fro as they sifted the water for nutrients.

"...What the..."

Ariel knelt down, studying the creatures closely. Her eyes were wide. Penny knelt down next to her.

Here Be Monsters, Part 1

Here Be Monsters, it said simply.

Within her World Progress Alliance base on Kuwahawi's main island (really basically just a clubhouse), with her friends Penny and Rinoa at her sides, Ariel looked down at the faded, worn map in her hands. The Kuwahawi Archipelago was not yet fully studied and understood. One thing or another had come up time and again to keep the archipelago out of the minds of explorers and scientists. Another, closer and larger island, or lack of funding, or bad weather, or any of a million excuses. Civilization was coming to the islands, true, or at least some of them, but it had been remarkably slow, and there were at least a few islands in the vicinity that were not known well at all. These islands were uninhabited by humans - at least as far as anyone knew - and at least one was not even included in some maps. Given modern aerial photography, Ariel didn't understand why...

Regardless, this was all she had to go on. An old map passed down from residents of the mainland, made untold years ago by some ancient mariner. And all they had to say about this mysterious island was 'Here Be Monsters', accompanied by an elaborate sketch of some kind of monster. It looked like some kind of salamander, but with nozzles on its' knees that sprayed water.

"Well, girls, what do you say?" Ariel asked.

"I say we check it out!" Penny exclaimed, smacking a fist into an open palm. "We're likely to find some new species of animals!"

"New species?" Rinoa perked up at that. "Ah... Aye, it doth be true. Islands are known to carry many unique and beautiful creatures seen nowhere else on this planet..."

"Then it's settled. We'll gather our supplies and catch a skiff to this island, scope it out for a few hours, and head right back here to determine where to go from there. No camping, we don't know what kind of trouble could be on that island."

"Sounds like a plan. Let's do it!"

"It promises to be quite the experience."

Chatzy Madness Volume 253: The Ur-Admin

(Del debuts a new character named Toinette and she and Marie begin making dirty talk almost immediately)

TechnoChao: so if they shack up
TechnoChao: do we call the pairing
TechnoChao: ​Marie And-Toinette
SteelKomodo: ​CHAO
SteelKomodo: ​PLS
Draco: lel
Draco 's monocle pops out. ಠ_ಠ
Bree: next on marie flirts with everyone: marie flirts with meiling and scarlett, a threesome ensues
SteelKomodo: BREE PLS
Bree: and/or she flirts with rahat and h'astra
Bree: both of those work
Bree: ​all five of them, idk​
BUTT BUTT and SHIELD BUTT: *looks at watch. All hands on watch are pointing to Lewd*
BUTT BUTT and SHIELD BUTT: Oh goodness. Just look at the time
Bree: lewd o'clock
Draco cancels ZFRP, slathers "PG-13" signs everywhere. EVERYWHERE! 8V

---

Bree: aardvarks

---

Dellaris: Oh hey when did that new chatzy madness come up
TechnoChao: yesterday
Dellaris: It's a good one
TechnoChao: you're SO BEHIND
Draco: For being eight hours ahead of us, you sure are behind the times! ;D
Altair: Draco you fucker
Draco: ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Draco begins blaring the airhorns.
Draco BLARHORNS.

---

Draco: Harpy, I think Ruby is planning the next phase of his evil plan to trick me into making more characters relevant to Gloria.
Gooper Blooper: You figured it out, Draco, Chao's been pulling the strings this whole time
Gooper Blooper: His ultimate goal is to replace Ariel with Gloria as your favorite sugar mage
Draco: Noooooooooooo

---

TechnoChao: i forgot for a second that honey the twilek was just dead
TechnoChao: one of the very few characters who didn't return from a fite
TechnoChao: NERIQUE PERMAKILLED SOMEONE
Draco: Yeah. He's a badass.

Chatzy Madness Volume 231: The 'Bob

Del: so wulf and i had an argument about space jam
Del: and it actually made me go look up some basketball terminology and the positions and stuff
Del: this was combined with an episode of the We Hate Movies podcast which was on space jam, where they talk about what the ideal looney tunes/space jam basketball team should be
Del: i think too hard about things!
Del: anyway allow me to present my findings
RubyChao: did you know
RubyChao: it took me literally years to learn space jam has something after the credits
Del: oh yeah it does
Del: it's in the worst place for it to be
Del: anyway
Del: so the line up in the movie is taz as center (although it doesn't say but it's the only position left so yeah), lola as small forward, daffy as power forward, bugs as point guard, and michael as their coach
Del: this is a pretty bad starting line up if you disregard the fact that they're cartoons and can do anything so
Del: shit im wrong, jordan's their shooting guard i think?
Del: which is his role in actual basketball so
Del: that's like the only correct thing about the team
Del: here's who you want
SteelKomodo: oh lawdy
Del: so center is meant to be beefy and big and defensive and they get really tall players to do it
Del: since none of the looney tunes are really tall you want foghorn leghorn
Del: hes big and beefy he's gonna be bouncing everybody
Del: also, he's southern
Del: so king of racist trash talk
Del: get that psychological edge yo
SteelKomodo: lolz
Del: your power forward is meant to set up plays and be quick and get all over the court
SteelKomodo: well i've watched a bit of the Looney Tunes show, and Foghorn in that is taller than even Bugs
SteelKomodo: so yeah, makes sense
Del: daffy's a slow shitheel, get wile e coyote in there
Del: he's got determination, he's scrappy
Del: he's versatile
Del: you want that
Del: point guard needs to not only direct the play but also be the best ball handler and be able to coach in the field
Del: if jordan wasn't their shooting guard i'd say use him
Del: but you can offload the directing and coaching to him
Del: and use fucking road runner
Del: how are you not using road runner
Del: he's literally the fastest you put him here
Del: and then bugs is the small forward because he's quick, he's jordan's equal essentially, and also he can piss people off and try and get them to foul him
SteelKomodo: so lemme round this up
SteelKomodo: Foghorn, Will. E, Road Runner and Bugs?
Del: you could swap bugs out for taz actually
SteelKomodo: i notice you didn't touch Taz- oh
Del: taz is probably the more aggressive option
Del: but you want someone with a cool head in a match with the stakes that space jam has got
Del: taz is gonna lose it at some point and it's not an if, it's when
Del: bugs can keep it together
Del: i mean the alternative is fuck positions, you're cartoons, just wire up some explosions and stuff
SteelKomodo: which is clearly what happened at the climax :U
Del: conversely, don't let elmer fudd, yosemite sam, porky or tweety near the court, they're useless
Del: like tweety is smaller than the ball wtf
Del: anyway
Del: you may resume your scheduled programming
SteelKomodo: man, i can't believe you seriously thought this over
SteelKomodo: like, jeez man, that's a lot of thought over a shitty basketball movie :P
Del: well the alternative is to think about everything else that's wrong with the movie
Del: it's a defense mechanism
SteelKomodo: oh ok lol
harpiano: well it was made to distract kids, who are not the best at critical thinking at that particular point in life
Draco: So wait people still talk about Space Jam?
harpiano: apparently so?
Draco: Sweet.
Del: the space jam website still exists
Del: also harpy's right
Del: it's an advertisement for Michael Jordan and basketball
SteelKomodo: holy shit this is 90's as all hell
SteelKomodo: i feel like i've gone back in time
SteelKomodo: and it's as slow to load as it was in the 90's!
Del: "daffy eat the eggs"

Chatzy Madness Volume 206: One Skeleton On Red

(Sean and Sakuya are in the arcade, and Sean has found a Touhou machine)

Zombree: I'm kind of imagining sean at player character selection like "...I can play as you?"
Zombree: sakuya's like "yep"
Zombree: then he picks reimu instead because playing as your girlfriend in a vidya feels dirty

(later)

Zombree rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 21
Zombree: w-what
Zombree: what
Zombree: ​what​
Zombree: ​what​
Zombree: SAKUYA, STOP SUDDENLY BEING GOOD AT VIDEO GAMES
RubyWright: sakuya wins by accident
RubyWright: "I SWEAR I'M NOT USUALLY THIS GOOD"
Del: hahaha
Zombree: also stay tuned for season 6 when sakuya comes back as a bleach-blonde
Zombree: (not really)
Zombree: I decided to have her fret about it totally on a whim because the color looks so... grey in a lot of art
Zombree: sometimes it's more white or blue or white-blue-grey or something
Zombree: but
RubyWright: *checks danbooru on a whim*
RubyWright: *finds blondekuya*
RubyWright: thanks artists
RubyWright: thartists
Zombree: show
Zombree: pls
Del: pls
RubyWright: warning: emphasis on ​TITS
Zombree: boobiez
Lemons joined the chat
Zombree: sakuya has huge... lemons
Del: sakuya dresses as the above, sean constantly stammering the whole time
Zombree: hello lemonven
Zombree: I'm surprised there hasn't been more stammering with the way she ​is​ dressing
Zombree: it's not THAT level of sexy but
Del: he's too polite
Del: and/or shy
Zombree: I predict that if sakuya ever dresses like the above, it's because she's annoyed sean isn't paying enough attention to her tits
Zombree: "WHY ELSE WOULD I OWN THESE SHIRTS"
SteelKomodo: #Boobs
Del: "uh, y-you have w-wonderful boobs and, uh, um, uh, oh god"
Del: "Smooth moves, pal."
Zombree: that was the day sean learned that dimitri's amazing AI powers can't prevent sean from getting awkward boners
Zombree shot
Zombree dies
Zombree (again)
Del: the awkwardest boner
Lemons: ​Oh, oh! Speaking thereof. :U Make it the Boner King that kisses her in random cameo if she does succeed. ​
Zombree: kek
Del: DID SOMEONE SAY
Del: THE BONE KING
Del changed name to SKELETON KING
SKELETON KING: I HAVE RETURNED
Zombree changed name to Risbun
Risbun: sir joining the kobbers chatroom is not advisable
SKELETON KING: TO GAMBLE AWAY MY WEALTH AND GET CRUNK
Risbun: sir you have no wealth you already lost all of it
SKELETON KING: THEN WHY ARE YOU HERE RISBUN
Risbun: because I have to follow you everywhere sire
SteelKomodo: hahaha
SKELETON KING: THAT IS TRUE
SKELETON KING: I DID MAKE THAT ROYAL DECREE
SKELETON KING: WELL I CAN FIX THIS
SKELETON KING: I SHALL GAMBLE YOU AWAY
SKELETON KING: ONE SKELETON ON RED
Risbun: ...that is an excellent plan sire
Risbun: how may I assist
SKELETON KING: (THE PLAN IS THAT I SHALL LOSE YOU IN A GAME OF CHANCE, THEN YOU STEAL THEIR MONEY AND RETURN TO ME)
RubyWright: amazing
SKELETON KING: (IT IS FLAWLESS)
RubyWright: this needs to be in a chatzy madness
Draco: I will buy Risbun for five dollars in quarters and a steak sandwich.
Lemons: Veovis: Excepting, of course, your stage whisper could use some work. :v But yes. Flawless.
SKELETON KING: ACCEPTED, STRANGE DRAGON
Draco: Risbun, go help Donkey Kong clean the gutters or I'll turn you into a bottle of Fanta.

Chatzy Madness Volume 191: Go Away, Letty

RubyChao: i had a horrible dream last night
RubyChao: where it was STILL SNOWING
SteelKomodo: ey rc- D:
RubyChao: (it wasn't that bad but oh god if i woke up and it was snowing all over again)
Kogasa: fak u snow

(later)

RubyChao: ...i opened the window
RubyChao: aaaand it seems to be snowing
SteelKomodo: D:
SteelKomodo: DDDD:
RubyChao: well apparently my dream wasn't too far off the mark

---

Gooper Blooper: Yesterday afternoon I was using my tablet, and it's a Kindle Fire so Amazon puts ads on the wakeup screen
Gooper Blooper: Yesterday the Amazon Store's ~Free App of the Day~ was none other than Five Nights At Freddy's 2. Despite not downloading the game, looking up anything about the game, or doing anything else Freddy-related at all, I wound up having a FNAF-themed nightmare. Apparently his ugly mug on the ad was all it took, which is bizarre
Gooper Blooper: And the dream wasn't exactly accurate, either
RubyChao: well, it is a horror game! :V
Gooper Blooper: Instead, I was with Goopsbro in a house similar to the one I used to live in before I moved in 2006 (this house was the one I grew up in and is permanently burned into my mental images of house interiors)
SteelKomodo: D:
Gooper Blooper: So it was the two of us in a familiar yet unfamiliar house, and we were in a room that was like his room in said house but not really
SteelKomodo: oh god not freddy
SteelKomodo: Goops was not Ready for Freddy
Gooper Blooper: And we had to watch out for freddyesque toys and the like that were hiding around the house
RubyChao: sk pls
Gooper Blooper: Like they weren't Freddy, but they were like something you'd see in a spinoff, they had a similar "art style"
RubyChao: my original character Bleddy
Gooper Blooper: freddy whiterock
SteelKomodo: oh god
Gooper Blooper: So we're on a bed in the room, and it's well-lit in the room but nighttime if you looked out the window, and a Not-Freddy Toy falls from a shelf above the bed into my lap
SteelKomodo: Not Freddy pls
Gooper Blooper: And at first it doesn't do anything but being out in the open makes it start to "wake up". I shove it into a bucket and clap a lid over it, but the toy starts vibrating violently and is about to break out, and me and goopsbro just kind of take it in stride as if it's an actual video game
Gooper Blooper: So we're just like "fuck, we have to start over" and Goopsbro gets up off the bed and hits the light switch, which works as a reset button and ends the "scene"
RubyChao: well that's one way to solve the problem, lel
SteelKomodo: lel
Gooper Blooper: Next thing I remember I'm in the same building, but alone this time, fumbling through a darkened room towards a lamp
Gooper Blooper: I have a very strong feeling I'm being watched, but I get to the lamp, turn it on, and fumble around a bit more without incident, though it feels like there's more Not Freddies hanging around the corners (btw, I think the initial Not Freddy was rabbitlike, like a cartoon easter bunny or Buster from Tiny Toons but with the freddy eyes))
SteelKomodo: oh god
SteelKomodo: not-bonnie pls
RubyChao: 2spooky
Gooper Blooper: >​go to amazon front page
Gooper Blooper: "new for you: five nights at freddy's 3"
Gooper Blooper: amazon, now is not the time
RubyChao: get ready for freddy
SteelKomodo: AMAZON STAHP

Chatzy Madness Volume 188: This Way To Right Asscheek

(Draco is opening packs of Phantom Forces Pokemon cards)

Draco: Helioptile, Finneon, Poochyena, Sewaddle, Chansey, shiny Escavalier, Crobat, Mystery Energon, Gengar Spirit Link, and Kingler.
Gooper Blooper: >​mystery energon
Gooper Blooper: *sarah blechs in the distance*
Draco: =I

---

(Harpy is traveling by plane)

Kogasa: Landed in DC
Draco: Cool.
Gooper Blooper: harpy 4 prez
Kogasa: saw an outline of a dick when I was looking outside my window
Kogasa: up in the air
Draco: That's the Washington Monument.
Gooper Blooper: lel
Kogasa: I didn't know they let teenagers design the monument now

---

Draco: Next Pogeymon gen will have Mega Goodra. It just turns back into Goomy. BV

---

RubyChao: http://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/1688199
Gooper Blooper: imagining yuugi just casually strolling down the street holding a rock the size of a house with one arm
Gooper Blooper: "hey how ya doin" "..."
Breetannia: forget the rock, those are some huge stonkin tits
Tipsyleter: great big tonking stits

---

Gooper Blooper: reminder that old dinosaur books loved talking about how fuckin dumb dinosaurs were
Gooper Blooper: "The Diplodocus was nearly 90 feet long. It had a very small brain and was clumsy and stupid."
Draco: Old dinosaur experts had low self esteem and few outlets.
SteelKomodo: hahaha

---

Gooper Blooper: profiles updating, outdoor temperatures on the uptick, ZFRP is rumbling
Breetannia: that's just sarah's stomach
Gooper Blooper: that gave me a really stupid mental image
Gooper Blooper: Saralex in bed, sleeping, Alex awoken suddenly
Gooper Blooper: "Alex?" "What is it, Sarah?" "...I'm hungry, Alex."

Character Musings: Dead Again, One More Time

Thanks, Obama.

My initial idea for Ariel's job change was to make her a soft-spoken Dark Knight, purely due to finding it funny that the smallest, most waifish member of the mage family would be a tanky, tough class (sort of a proto-quasi-Tenshi, if you will). I ditched this idea due to the job class being exclusive to Final Fantasy Tactics' PSP remake, and therefore being both less familiar to me and less familiar to readers at large. Instead, I perused the FFT job list for a job that would be unique and interesting and picked "archer". From there, Ariel's tree-hugger side was an easy addition, as archers, hunters, and other similar job types are frequently associated with forests and nature.

At the same time, in 2012, I went on a sort of political kick and took a serious interest in politics leading up to the big US election showdown that November. However, I made a few missteps in conversation with friends due to getting too invested in the topic. This added two elements to Ariel's character. First, I expanded her being a simple nature lover to being an outright activist, pushing for change on multiple fronts. Second, my negative experiences with politics warned me to not turn Ariel into a moral-spewing agenda-pusher, so I worked hard to make her non-preachy and non-offensive. Ariel's two main desires - a wish to see less blatant pollution and a wish to see people treated fairly - are not very politically charged in our community and have therefore been safe bets. I've also indicated she's passionate, but not hardcore - the most notable instance being that Ariel isn't a vegetarian and doesn't criticize people's food choices. I knew she'd be a walking buzzkill if she got too caught up on what people eat.

As part of the concept of each of the four sarahkin having different builds, Ariel is the fit one. It fits really well - while Sarah and Josephine are big eaters (so they're chubby/curvy) and Gloria is less so but sedentary with a job class that lets her summons do the work (so she's average), Ariel's job, personality, and her work at places like parks and nature preserves means she's naturally the thinnest and most agile of the four. The tradeoff seems to be her infamous frailty. We need to talk about your Defense stat, Ariel.

Unfortunately for Ariel, her constant jobbing in Season 3 makes just as much sense as her physical fitness. She is the worst of her family at white magic, unable to perform many of the strong spells her sisters are famous for. And once an enemy gets through her underpowered Protect and Shell spells, her tiny frame isn't exactly going to offer much resistance. As a result, Ariel was frequently taken out of commission, especially because Ariel's participation in Season 3 largely revolved around an extended war with The Society, and practically every member of the group was more powerful than Ariel and threw around their superpowers with impunity. She was KOed again and again, and I began buffing her out of desperation to have her survive more than one attack in a feasible manner, but the tractor didn't cooperate until the final week of the plot, when I was finally able to make Ariel look like a reasonable threat and to gain some measure of respect back.

While I'm talking about Ariel, I'll also talk about Penny. Penny isn't very important - she's mostly just 'Ariel's friend and partner in activism' and has no role beyond helping Ariel. Activists work best in groups, however, so I chose Penny to represent the people Ariel has teamed up to fight alongside her in Manhattan. I enjoyed making the two of them derp around in Gloria's library, but with my roster as massive as it is, I have no plans to feature Penny as anything more than an Ariel satellite character who appears whenever she needs a second pair of hands. We all know what RP can do to plans, though. On another note, I actually have more than once considered making Ariel and Penny a legit couple, but decided against it due to not wanting to enlarge the sarahkin family even further and to keep Ariel open in case she somehow gets roped into a "real" pairing with another user. They're just good platonic friends, and shall remain so.

Ariel sat out almost all of Season 4, only appearing for Wheelerplot and a background joke plot about her and Penny mismanaging Gloria's library. She's likely to get more screentime in Season 5. Will Ariel be able to shake off her jobber reputation like Samus did hers?

Chatzy Madness Volume 174: Master Splinter, Should We Buy Destiny?

RubyChao: dirk slightly modifies the marriage speech for pit and okuu
RubyChao: "Do you Pit Angelos take this bird-" "DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRK​"
SteelKomodo: hahaha
Gooper Blooper: "do you take this bird to have and to hold and TO SHACK UP WITH DEAR GOD PIT I STILL CAN'T GET OVER IT SHE'S A BIRD"

---

Kevin: possibility of me getting a kirby amiibo from wal-mart? 70%

---

Gooper Blooper: hey remember that time I bought a giant cookie for a dollar
Gooper Blooper: Dollar Tree put them on clearance. Giant cookies for 50 cents
ivel: nice
Gooper Blooper: bought four, much sarah such cookie wow
RubyChao: consume
SteelKomodo: hahaha

---

RubyChao: "I hope I still have Pokemon when I grow up. Because if I have kids, I'd want to trade Pokemon with them."
RubyChao: goops_as_a_dad.txt

---

(Harpy begins her Omega Ruby adventure)

Harpy asked Chatzy to choose between Sammy and Siren. Chatzy chose: Sammy
Harpy: oh god I am the Sammy
Harpy: i'm gonna play omega ruby and end up with like a blajillion pogeys
Harpy: PREPARING FOR SAMM1CAL IN OR
Harpy: SCIENCE GUY IS HEERE
Gooper Blooper: The first thing I did after leaving my house in OR was to look for The Science Guy
Gooper Blooper: If they ever stop doing "fat guy talks about how great science is" in Pokemon I will be very disappointed
Harpy: "hey want me to catch you a pokemon"
ivel: Kappa Mikey?
Harpy: Sammy just stares and pulls out a picture of Carla and her E4 pogeys slowly and points
Harpy: "she givin' me pogeys :D"
Harpy: oh hush ivel :U
Harpy: THE BIG CHOICE
Gooper Blooper: WHO WILL I USE FOR LIKE AN HOUR BEFORE SWITCHING TO POGEYS I LIKE MORE
Harpy: DO I CHOOOOOOSE DERP LIZARD, SELF-ROASTING CHICKEN, OR THE GIANT MEME OF YESTERYEARS PAST
RubyChao: choose the one that prepares itself for dinner for you
Harpy: torchic you look so adorable
Harpy: but I have a version of you with your hidden ability
Harpy: don't give me that look
Harpy: no stop giving me that look
Gooper Blooper: burd
Harpy: "love me ;;"
Harpy: ...
Harpy: ITS FUCKING FEMALE
ivel: WELP
Gooper Blooper: 12.5% chance!
RubyChao: you know what to name
Harpy: okay sorry but this means I have to name it Mokou and keep it on my team
Harpy: if it were male I'd trade it but
Harpy: it was female
Harpy: i can't give away such a cutie
Harpy: *weeps*
Gooper Blooper tosses Torchics onto Wonder Trade without a care
Harpy: oh god now i have this stupid vision of sammy wearing a knapsack the wrong way (in front)
Harpy: and in it is Mokou the Torchic, all happy
Harpy: "MAMA SAMMY GONNA TAKE CARE OF YOU"
Gooper Blooper: chansammy

Chatzy Madness Volume 172: Thunder Intensithighs

Harpy: so basically, kevin is going to be the sexiest girl ever

---

Harpy: >​isn't a pizzarito just a calzone
Harpy: *stares*
cookie pizza: . . . *stares at hands*
cookie pizza: What have I done

---

(Originally posted on December 23. GB's family traditionally opens presents on Christmas Eve.)

Goopy Claus: Goopsbro has finally completed his Christmas shopping
Goopy Claus: Goopsbro has yet to start his Christmas wrapping
Goopy Claus: Goopsbro lives on the edge

(later)

Goopmas: goopsbro comes out after 20 minutes of wrapping with two tiny presents
Goopmas: "I'm really bad at wrapping"

---

---

RubyChao: someday i should make backloggery
RubyChao: someday
RubyChao: SOMEDAAAAAY
RubyChao never makes a backloggery

thank

"So! *clap* What's everyone thankful for this year?"

"Why, my lovely wife, of course."

"Dirky~"

"Jo-Jo~"

"Stretch pants. Oof."

"...I might as well chip in with the required 'family'."

"I'm thankful for everybody!"

"Wonderful! And yes, I agree, Ariel. It's always important to remember family. Where would we be without each other?"

"Not filled with Ireland's entire stock of potatoes?"

"No, silly! Well, that too. Hope everyone has room for dessert!"

"Fuck."

"Oh boy!"

"BECAUSE THE DESSERT WAS A LOAF OF-

...

CELESTIA, THE DESSERT IS PIE."

"It's always pie!"

"YOU HAVE RUINED THIS UNIT'S JOKE. HOW COULD YOU."

"Skeiron, you can't even eat. Why are you here?"

"THIS UNIT IS THANKFUL."

Skeiron bowed his body, accidentally smacking the table in the process. "THANK."

"...Well, he's trying!"

Chatzy Madness Volume 138: Sheepe Makes the Poste on the Forume

The Deleter: if i recall correctly, when conrad is attacked he kind of metamorphoses into some sort of xenomorph

---

RubyChao: apparently i aced my first ecology exam
RubyChao: *ariel intensifies*

---

0!: BAH GAWD
0!: BAH GAWD IT'S BROWNY
0!: HE'S AT THE COMPUTER, NO! THAT COMPUTER HAD A FAMILY!
0!: BAH GAWD THAT COMPUTER IS BROKEN IN HALF! WHAT A SLOBBERKNOCKER
Gooper Blooper: OFFICER BROWNY WITH THE YO-YO! THE YO-YO! THE YO-YO! STONE COLD!
0!: BROWNY HAS TURNED HIS BACK ON THE DIGITAL UNIVERSE
0!: WAIT WHAT'S THAT MUSIC?
0!: BAH GAWD, WE'RE NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE! WE'RE IN AMISH COUNTRY
Bree: wat
Bree: the fuk
0!: I don't know
iKomodo: Neither do I
Gooper Blooper: just another day in chatzy

---

0!: D: Noo I made Dakota sad ;;
Jumpropeman: geeze spy
Jumpropeman: one day we'll take you to the real North Dakota
Jumpropeman: and you can apologize in person
0!: I don't want to make characters sad it hurts my soul
0! proceeds to casually break Leo and Ricard, tosses them aside
RubyChao: *has Utsuho become broken hearted over a spy action*
Jumpropeman: *all characters now cry whenever Spy characters talk to them*
0!: WHY DID I STAB PIT IN THE FAAAAAAAAAACE
Harpy: Siren is eternally sad whenever Ricard talks about his ex-friend
Harpy: you can see the infinity in her tears
Harpy: what the fuck did i just type
Jumpropeman: *Ignazio makes a glorious return from death only to be permakilled by a spy char*

---

Jumpropeman: Andromalus will run on the super mega ultra boss tractor
Jumpropeman: 1-100
Jumpropeman: actually, 1-101
Jumpropeman: so each attack can be assigned to a different dalmatian

---

Bree: must...write...post...nn​gh...
Bree flop
Bree crawl
Bree roll
Bree drags self across keyboard
Bree flails at submit button

Chatzy Madness Volume 128: Bugs With Beards

RubyChao: what you doing, pit
SteelKomodo: he is clearly about to eat The Best Pudding Ever
SteelKomodo: and Palutena's like "tread lightly, bro, i've heard stories"

---

Gooper Blooper: General Cleft's pickup line

---

Jumpropeman: i never realized how ugly Other M's Nu Ridley was until now
SteelKomodo: I HAD PLASTIC SURGERY TO BYPASS MY TRAINING REGIMEN
SteelKomodo: IT'S A LIVIN
Gooper Blooper: HI SAMUS-RAAA
Timberdel: *bubs puts up a sign saying "livin for sale"*
Gooper Blooper: Bubs is capable of selling intangible concepts
Timberdel: bubs is capable of selling anything
Timberdel: he's the black market you see!
SteelKomodo: lolz
Gooper Blooper: Defeats a boss by selling its powers to other people
Gooper Blooper: Unfortunately, other villains bought them
Gooper Blooper: "I don't discriminate!"
Timberdel: he sells unsafe, shady crap from his store and quality goods from his black market
Timberdel: and yes he doesn't discriminate at all
Timberdel: in strong badia the free he remained neutral throughout the entire thing
Timberdel: so he doesn't consider morality as much of a reason for doing things, although he's not a douchebag by any means
SteelKomodo: good ol' Bubs
Timberdel: he would get on just fine with david if david was in
Timberdel: and i bet he'd like to buy some stuff off of sine and carol
Timberdel: i wonder if anyone will remember what he tried to do back in zf4
SteelKomodo: hmmmm
SteelKomodo: i wonder if there was anything Carol would sell him
Gooper Blooper: I had forgotten Bubs was technically already a ZFRP character
Gooper Blooper: lel
SteelKomodo: i can't remember what he did
Timberdel: he tried to sell earth to seanet
SteelKomodo: damn it bubs

---

Gooper Blooper: IGN gave Kirby Triple Deluxe a 6
Gooper Blooper: YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!

Chatzy Madness Volume 126: SteelKomodo Joined the Chat

GoopaMania: I've set up Ariel to do Kooky Far-Away Library Shenanigans
GoopaMania: Watch in awe as Ariel sucks at being a librarian
RubyChao: "HOW DID YOU BURN DOWN MY LIBRARY D:" "Um... oops?" "D: D: D:"
Jumpropeman: *Ariel switches it all to digital* "Paper is wasteful and kills trees Gloria!" *Gloria's eye twitches*
GoopaMania: Ariel points to a box with twenty e-readers in it
GoopaMania: "The whole library, right there"
Harpy: gloria has a heart attack
GoopaMania: "Gloria put your trident away please"
GoopaMania: "...IT WAS PENNY'S IDEA"
RubyChao: Ariel puts the library in the e-readers, has the library building converted into an eco-movement headquarters
RubyChao: There's a tiny room off to the side labeled "library", it's full of dust

---

RubyChao: D:
The Kirby Kong Fandom: Does that book have a face
RubyChao: oh god it does
SteelKomodo: D:
The Kirby Kong Fandom: IT'S TALKING MAGGLE

---

RubyChao: "This is awful game design. It is the worst game design. NES games have better game design than that. Other M is the Citizen Kane of bad video games. The badness just has layers and layers to it, and every time you take another look at the game a new layer of s*** opens up. It's like a Metroidvania, exploring the complex mazes and tunnels of Other M to find different-colored pieces of s***, and then using those piles of s*** to open up a path you might've missed earlier that leads to even more s***. Even talking about how bad Other M is makes for a better Metroid game than Other M."

---

Gooper Blooper: wake up with the king
Saberwulf changed name to Scott President of Dominos
SteelKomodo: #Dinner
Scott President of Dominos: Pizza doesn't fit, damn you character limit
Tableter: Pizza power

---

Gooper Blooper: WWE confirmed still pissy about CM Punk quitting
Gooper Blooper: (look at the Royal Rumble poster on the wall)
Cornwind Evil: I'm not pissy
Cornwind Evil: His choice gave us Daniel Bryan, Shonen Anime Hero At WM 30
Cornwind Evil: Can you imagine what would have happened had Punk not quit and they'd decided to break the Streak?
Gooper Blooper: a never-before-seen flood of angry posts on the internet

World Progress Alliance Newsletter: April 22, 2014

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-HAPPY EARTH DAY!-

Today is a very special day. Today is Earth Day, a day in which we honor the planet for all it has done for us, and what we must do in return to ensure there are many more Earth Days to come. I hope you'll join me in making 2014's Earth Day a day to remember.

-Looking Back-

When my friend Penny and I decided to start this newsletter one year ago, we'd considered a userbase of about a thousand people to be a big success. But, amazingly, we are now at over 15,000 subscribers and counting! I'm touched by the number of people who decided to subscribe. Keep being awesome!

-Looking Ahead-

Our next wave of projects is brewing! Penny has brought my attention to the plight of the vanishingly rare Jungle Octopus. This unique species, discovered just recently, is the first-ever known cephalopod to have adapted to an aquatic lifestyle, living in the humid seaside rainforests of Madagascar and nowhere else. Predictably, logging activity is beginning to destroy this fascinating animal's habitat. I'm counting on you guys to help me and Penny save this one-of-a-kind animal and all the others that call Madagascar's rainforests home. As always, it fell to me to make a nice, snappy name for the campaign. This operation is called "Eight Arms for the Future"! And yes, our octopus costumes are being custom-made as I write this!

As for me, I've discovered possible evidence of slave labor and deeply underpaid workers in, of all places, the trading card industry. I want all you collectors out there to join me in taking a stand against any and all card printers that use unethical means to sell their merchandise! We're calling this campaign "Trading Away Morals"! I'm looking forward to hand-delivering Tipps Trading Cards a special 5'-by-7' custom card with all of your signatures!

-Your Animal Fun Fact of the Week-

Lobsters grow indefinitely as they age. It's possible for extremely old lobsters to reach lengths of 3 feet or more!

Sent from your friends, Ariel and Penny

World Progress Alliance: For A Brighter Future

Ariel's Pokemon Randomizer Adventure

Pokemon Randomizer is a Java-based application that scrambles around data in Pokemon rom files to create a new and unique experience - changing which Pokemon appears where, what their stats are, their abilities, their movesets, and more. It also features extra bonuses such as the ability to turn off trade evolutions and the ability to catch every Pokemon without trading - since, when playing an emulated version of Pokemon, trading is impossible. It works with every mainline Pokemon game from the first five generations. For this run, I'm using Emerald.

With her big sis Josephine occupied in Kalos, it fell to Ariel to become a Pokemon League Champion in the region of Hoenn. But, carrying over from her brutal 2013, Ariel might just be in over her head in the upside-down world of Pokemon Randomizer.