Harpy: I shall leave this here
Gooper Blooper: "Just some shiznit ta look forward ta fo' yo ass guys"
Gooper Blooper: beautiful
Gooper Blooper: [10:12:54 AM] ivelchild: How tha fuck do tha guildmasta bust two typez of magic
[10:13:08 AM] ivelchild: That thought occurred ta mah crazy ass dis morning
Gooper Blooper: oh my god
Gooper Blooper: I must go mess with this on my own stuff
TheDeleter: holy shit
Harpy: ...this is amazing
TheDeleter: this is amazing
Harpy: OH MY GOD I SHOULD DO THIS TO MONSTER MASH
TheDeleter: i'm gonna do this to freaks now
SteelKomodo: ...oh god what?
Harpy: Monster Mash: Narrated by Snoop Dawg
Gooper Blooper: This post be a database of all of mah characters, shit they've collected, locations I've added ta tha Zoofightz RP-verse, n' chicken n' drink I've contributed ta tha bar fo' realz. As tha stylish gif above says, dis page is Under Construction, n' is ghon be edited ta stay up ta date wit freshly smoked up deetz from B-ta-tha-L-O-Gizzay postz and RP. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. See tha title of tha post fo' tha date it was last updated.
Gooper Blooper: We're off to a great start
SteelKomodo: it's...
SteelKomodo: GLORIOUS
TheDeleter: capitalizzle
Gooper Blooper: "Sarah is, at first glizzle, a fairly typical white mage."
TheDeleter: holy shit
TheDeleter: CAPITALIZZLE
SteelKomodo: "I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. It is no place fo' any sensible sailor."
Gooper Blooper: "Can smoke n' drink far mo' than her size suggestz yo. Has a shockingly high tolerizzle fo' sugar."
Harpy: I AM DYING
Harpy: HELP
Harpy: tolerizzle
SteelKomodo: "It is ghon be a long-ass n' hard as fuck battle yo, but Japanz Top Billin Mascot thinks he can do dat shit."
Inurian: xD
---
Saberwulf: "Therez a war wagin somewhere, somewhere eight trazillion Universes up n' ta tha left, westside of tha Chronic Rings, just a quick mazillion-year trip all up in tha Slow Zone spinwardz of Forpashiz Rift fo' realz."
Saberwulf: I think I found a new writing style
---
Gooper Blooper: Widow Maker's alignment is "Chaotic Dope"
Harpy: chaotic dope
Harpy: classy
---
Saberwulf: “Some infinitizzles is bigger than other infinities.”
― Jizzy Chronic, Da Fault up in Our Stars
Saberwulf: Hahahaha yesss
SteelKomodo: oh my god
SteelKomodo: i
SteelKomodo: i don't know anything anymore
SteelKomodo: one of my tethers has snapped, to quote del
---
TheDeleter: What I’m tryin ta say from mah clumsy description of tha Ghetto’s Weirdest Wet Dream 2012 winna is dat when yo ass smoke up dat some shiznit aint what tha fuck yo ass thought it was, you don’t take it straight-up well. Like tha example wit mah dopest playa decidin he wanted ta be called Charlotte instead of Charlie. Yo Crazy-Ass mind tethers itself to factz up in thuglife – tha sky is blue, tha sun is hot, dis playa be a playa, this mackdaddy don’t know what tha fuck he’s on bout – n' when some shiznit yo ass thought was immutable chizzles, like fuckin a hooker turnin tha fuck into a predatory monster, one of them tethers snaps n' yo' mind goes crazy-ass fo' a moment tryin ta find a new anchor yo. How tha fuck it do dat is defined by what tha fuck sort of thug yo ass is – up in my case, I returned ta normalitizzle by openly wishin tha dopest fo' mah playa and keepin mah own opinions buried away. Others is mo' betta at dat shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Some never retether.
TheDeleter: dis playa be a playa
TheDeleter: it's like sbahj with stereotypes
---
Saberwulf: "karzantium claws glittering colors new to existance" =" karzantium claws glitterin flavas freshly smoked up ta existizzle "
TheDeleter: “My fuckin ho is sterile,” Mark explained as I choked down tha coffee. “We’d tried n' tried, but we’d never thought we’d git tha lil pimp our crazy-ass asses wanted. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Cletus here has turned our lives around.”
“Excuse me,” I holla'd, “your ho be aiiight wit yo ass growin a cat-man on yo' spine?”
“I’m muthafuckin right here, yo ass know, asshole.” grumbled Cletus yo. Dude had a Boston accent, and as close to one as I could place dat shit.
“Right. Sorry.”
Saberwulf: I love this so much
Gooper Blooper: Gloria is "Sarahz crazy oldschool sister."
TheDeleter: YO HO BE AIIIGHT WIT YO ASS GROWIN A CAT MAN ON YO SPINE?
Harpy: that there is so glorious
---
Saberwulf: Oh god, Goops' critque is even translated
Saberwulf: "-Da first three paragraphs is straight-up hard as fuck ta parse (first sentence is phat but afta dat it getz crazy) yo"
Gooper Blooper: yo
---
Gooper Blooper: The Sarahkin are now "tha hoes" according to this translator
Saberwulf: "Artemis sat behind his fuckin lil' desk up in tha gargantuan hall dat served as his thugged-out lil' underground crib."
TheDeleter: oh god
TheDeleter: i'm
TheDeleter: i'm gonna put Gay Merfolk Charms through
Gooper Blooper: "Browny is polite n' professionizzle most of tha time, callin gangstas "sir" if they outrank his ass n' "playa hater" if they don't yo. Dude getz straight-up buckwild when able ta do major five-o work like crackin cold cases and bustin arrests."
Saberwulf: Please do, Del
SteelKomodo: yesssss
Gooper Blooper: "Good evening, playa hatas."
TheDeleter: "Barkeep, muthafucka! A forty of yo' finest wine, if yo ass please!"
TheDeleter: a promising start
TheDeleter: [00:06:03] Jake Newton: Doggdamn peep his ass go
[00:06:09] Jake Newton: luddz dat tresure he do
SteelKomodo: XD
Saberwulf: Oh god Waterworld becomes Waterghetto
SteelKomodo: i
SteelKomodo: i must put Garfield Must Die through this
Saberwulf: Oh good god
Saberwulf: I think you may kill the internet
SteelKomodo: "Garfield Must Lose Tha Game"
SteelKomodo: ALREADY
SteelKomodo: IT'S ALREADY BRILLIANT
SteelKomodo: ok look just read this
---
Gooper Blooper: "Tiamat can breathe fire, teleport, create tornadoes, n' transform tha fuck into a female Mack Ghidorah named Biatch Ghidorah."
Saberwulf: "Tak-Sin is utterly dunkadelic"
TheDeleter: Jizzle Arbuckle
Saberwulf: How did I not know that word existed
TheDeleter: ladies and gentlemen
TheDeleter: we've found it
TheDeleter: the holy grail of cheap comedy
TheDeleter: it was here all along
Harpy: we should probably hide it from Spy
Harpy: who knows what diabolical shit he will do with this
SteelKomodo: "What tha fuck iz this?" Roared Garfield wit supa pissed voice
TheDeleter: oh my god it translates to Jizzle Arbuckle 100% of the time
Gooper Blooper: "Oh muthafucka yo ass is delicious like lasagna feast"
TheDeleter: poor bastard
---
Gooper Blooper: I translated Dead Sarah
Harpy: oh god
Gooper Blooper: And the image broke because it translated "Sarah Ghost" into "Sarah Pimp"
Gooper Blooper: sarahpimp.png
Harpy: welp
SteelKomodo: D:
Gooper Blooper: "Have yo ass ever noticed tha URLs up in topics on tha Zoofightz Forum, biatch? It goes up by 1 every last muthafuckin time a thread is done cooked up yo, but there is a bunch of numbers dat have been skipped over."
Gooper Blooper: "Although Sarah won, her ass was grievously wounded"
Gooper Blooper: "Goopa Bloopa replies up in less than two minutes wit "Everythang be aiiight now, Alex. Everythang be aiiight.""
Gooper Blooper: "I think I be dying.
My fuckin legs is gone. My fuckin arms... one arm gone. My fuckin hair, mah eyes, mah skin... how tha fuck could white magic brang mah crazy ass back now?
I was so stupid. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I shouldn't have done dis fo' realz. Alex n' Mom n' One n' Two n' Four must be so upset.
I be bout ta miss them.
I be so sorry."
SteelKomodo: even in gangsta, it's still kinda sad ;_;
Gooper Blooper: Sarah was taken down in a drive-by
Gooper Blooper: the ghetto's a tough place, bitchez
---
Gooper Blooper: "...Ann."
"Yeah, Pech?"
"Do mah crazy ass a favor n' go git mah crazy ass a Juicefisst from tha garage." Pech holla'd on tha fuckin' down-lowly, gettin up n' struttin ta his thugged-out armor rack.
"...Huh, biatch? Why?"
"Becausse straight-up ssoon, there iss a phat chizzle ssome muthafucka iss goin ta git ssmasshed all up in tha ground tha fuck into tha ssubway ssysstem, n' I wanna electricty ta fry they bonizz firsst."
With a purpose he hadn't had up in months, Pech fuckin started layerin his thugged-out armor atop him, flickin on his thugged-out lil' psycho hood n' faintly smiling.
It was time ta go ta war.
---
Gooper Blooper: Del
Gooper Blooper: Are you ready to see what happens when Delmond's southern-fried twang collides with thuglife
Gooper Blooper: In an apology the likes of which you've never seen before
TheDeleter: uh
TheDeleter: no and ALSO yes
TheDeleter: like
TheDeleter: uh
TheDeleter: post it
Gooper Blooper: Eshe...
Sometimes, I think I've fought fer so long I forgot how tha fuck not to. I been fightin' fo' most uv mah adult life. Hustlin, rebellin', drills, leadin'... it all becomes normal. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So when Mengsk went down... I didn' know wha' ta do. It didn' feel muthafuckin right. Me, a playa wit one limb lef' n' tha dome of a dumb dog, gettin' a aiiight ending, biatch? How'd I git tha', biatch? I didn't deserve tha'.
I don' deserve a shitload of thangs. Ever since I... went ta prison, I been gettin' chizzlez I don't deserve, doin' thangs I ain' allowed to. Th' universe looked at mah crazy ass an' holla'd "hey, son, yer gonna look like a used hoopty crash dummy yo, but tha' ain't gonna matter." So when we... gotz together, I though' maybe our crazy-ass asses could start it all over again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I could be a phat person. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I coul' have mah thuglife back.
Our thugged-out asses all know how tha fuck tha' turned out.
Del looked down at his wild lil' feet, then back up at Eshe again.
All th' time, I kept tellin' mah dirty ass bullshit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Stuff like "they treated yo ass unfair," an' "they weren' listenin' ta gangstas." But thaz bollocks. 'cause what tha fuck I straight-up did it fo' was mysel'. To feel big-ass again, like I had a purpose. Because thaz all I know, how tha fuck t' point an' shoot. I ain' gotz any common sense an' I ain' phat at much.
So, I decided I'd git phat at fixin' thangs.
Yo Ass don' have ta accept mah 'pologizzle. Yo Ass can choose never ta peep mah crazy ass again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Thaz fine. I be bout ta live wit dat shit. But I be gonna put muthafuckin right what tha fuck I did wrong. I busted chicken an' buildin' shizzle down t' tha hood, an' todizzle, whilst I be here, I gotz a bunch of mah pimps helpin ta pack it up an' help build tha freshly smoked up meetin' hall fo' realz. An' I apologised t' tha hood. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Seein' every last muthafuckin grill starin' at mah crazy ass like I was a freak done cooked up mah crazy ass feel sick yo, but I damn well did it fo' realz. An' now all I gotta do is try an' make it up wit you, 'cause I ain' losin' tha ludd of mah thuglife a second time. I be gonna try, even tho' I only gotz one leg thatz still mine an' I rap like a damn cartoon.
But, at th' end of it, itz up ta yo ass fo'sho. I hope yo ass do yo, but...
Dude avertz his stupid-ass gaze, lookin at Luther, tha zombies, Coren, n' then back at Eshe.
Ya chose t' be what tha fuck yew are. I be bout ta let yo ass choose what tha fuck happens t' me.
Gooper Blooper: Oh, I attempted to spoiler the whole thing. Too big. Ah well
TheDeleter: lol
Saberwulf: 'pologizzle
TheDeleter: i would compare what i just read to some kind of huge space-bound object left by our precurors, glorious and transcendant in it's beauty yet also unnerving almost to the point of horror in its sheer other-ness
TheDeleter: "hey, son, yer gonna look like a used hoopty crash dummy yo, but tha' ain't gonna matter."
TheDeleter: also it uses "I an't talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch" far too much for my liking
TheDeleter: what does that even mean
Saberwulf: I think it's from a song from Mac Miller, going by Goggle
TheDeleter: it's weird
TheDeleter: i dislike it
TheDeleter: :I
---
TheDeleter: brb translating Jonesy's marriage proposal into gangsta
SteelKomodo: XD
TheDeleter: i may be laughing to hard to post it
TheDeleter: so goops will be my backup
TheDeleter: yeah okay i just died
TheDeleter: halp
RedSpy: Pffffffffft
GB: hold on
GB: translating Alex's letter to Sarah
RedSpy: Fun fact: there'll be post-ZFRP blag entries wrapping up some char things once the Crimbo break is over
GB: "Dear Sarah,
I know our crazy-ass asses haven't known each other fo' straight-up long yo, but already, I've fallen fo' yo ass fo'sho fo' realz. And as I gotz ta know yo ass better, yo ass straight-up won mah crazy ass over. You're tha kindest, sweetest white mage I've ever known, n' every last muthafuckin moment spent wit yo ass is one never wasted. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! When yo ass was harmed durin our date, I was worried. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Worried dat one I straight-up cared bout was goin ta die up in mah arms, so soon afta admittin mah feelings. When yo ass turned up ta be aiiight, when I was revived..I was overcome wit joy fo' realz. All dat time our crazy-ass asses spent together worryin n' bustin up together... I luddd it all.
Well, I guess itz time ta say it: I ludd you, Sarah, wit all mah heart. I be bout ta try mah dopest ta protec' you, always fo' realz. And one day, one day, I be bout ta rap everythang bout mah homeland of Levia, n' mo' of mah journeys.
With Ludd,
Alexander Triden
P.S. I be probably dozin off by tha time yo ass read dis yo, but if yo ass order anythang, be shizzle ta put it on mah tab, muthafucka! Maybe our crazy-ass asses can have another drink together?"
GB: "Alex, When I first kicked it wit you, it was lil mo' than a schoolgirl crush. I thought yo ass was handsome. (Yo Ass still are, by tha way). But tha mo' I hustled bout yo ass tha mo' amazed I was. Yo Crazy-Ass bravery. Yo Crazy-Ass compassion. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Yo Crazy-Ass kindness. Yo Crazy-Ass selflessness. You've been ta all kindsa muthafuckin places, n' you've done all kindsa muthafuckin thangs. I felt I could never compete. I was just a white mage wit no name yo. How tha fuck could I match up ta what tha fuck must have been tha hundredz of hoes you've kicked it wit while adventuring? When I ran away from yo ass dat first night our crazy-ass asses talked, it was cuz a mazillion bad what-ifs was goin all up in mah head at once. What if he don't like me, n' is just bein polite, biatch? What if I be not pretty enough, biatch? What if he be thinkin dat I be boring, and stupid and fat and useless and worst of all just another faceless surgeoneer, biatch? But none of em thangs was true. Yo Ass reached up ta me, n' yo ass touched mah heart. Because of you, I gotz a name. Because of you, I've done cooked up all kindsa muthafuckin playaz n' peeped dunkadelic thangs. Because of yo ass I broke up of mah shell n' went from a thang class ta a real person. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Itz impossible fo' mah crazy ass ta fuck yo ass enough. Itz unbelievable we've never holla'd it until now yo, but tha time is muthafuckin right: I ludd yo ass too, muthafucka! Letz smoke up tha tournament together, n' peep where tha road takes us! With all mah ludd, Sarah <3 PS: I only ordered a few wafflez n' a That Ol' White Magic. Now dat yo ass is up, letz smoke together! PPS: Oh yo, but if I be not there, itz cuz I be bustin some shiznit blingin muthafuckin right afta I finish mah meal. Wait fo' me!"
TheDeleter: I be bustin some shiznit blingin muthafuckin right afta I finish mah meal.
TheDeleter: this is a thing of goddamn beauty
---
GB: Okay, Del, I'm gonna translate Joney's proposal
TheDeleter: oh god
TheDeleter: it's the greatest
TheDeleter: THUG LIFE KOBBERS YO
GB: No mo' storms, Erebus. No mo' fightin n' upset n' gangstas dying. I promise. Tomorrow, our crazy-ass asses start sfrom tha top.
Jonesy pulls back a lil, grill pinking.
Can- can I ask yo ass some shit, Erebus?
GB: "Indeed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Tomorrow, a dizzle dawns where our crazy-ass asses no longer need ta fear fo' each others lives every last muthafuckin other warpdamned second. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! And of course, yo ass can ask mah crazy ass anythang. What tha fuck iz it?" Dude axed, tiltin his head.
TheDeleter: he's doing it
GB: No, forget dat shit. Itz a stupid idea.
Her hand fumblez up in her back pocket.
I mean, we've only been together what, less than two months, that, thatz not straight-up a relationshizzle, n' yo ass is not up in tha vibe, n' dis is tha least appropriate place ta ask anyway, not a god damn thang like I imagined, n' straight-up I should ask lata cuz...
Biatch takes tha rang box out. Da sapphire gleams when her ass opens dat shit.
This be a stupid idea...
TheDeleter: god lord in heaven he's a translatin it
GB: "A few thangs, before yo ass say anythang else; Do it truthfully matta how tha fuck long and how tha fuck short our crazy-ass asses have been wit each other, biatch? Two months and two thousand years, mah feelings fo' yo ass would be unchanging. I ludd you, Jonesy. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So hella, straight-up much. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Secondly, I be always up in a phat vibe when yo ass is near, BECAUSE yo ass is near. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So do not worry bout mah cheezy-ass weather, cuz I assure you; Itz like level fo' realz. As fo' tha third thang..."
Dude lifted both of his thugged-out arms n' gestured around tha room, takin up in tha whole of it along wit his dirty ass n' her muthafuckin ass.
"Is any of dis like what tha fuck yo ass had imagined, biatch? Ownin a crib built by a robot n' a gang of genetic aberrations, comin ta dis universe n' bustin everythang yo ass n' I have done, all tha time we've spent together... Me?"
"If yo ass is goin ta ask what tha fuck I think yo ass is... Then itz not a stupid idea. But I be bout ta let yo ass decide, one way and another. Either way, I is ghon be here fo' you."
RedSpy: "Biatch takes tha rang box out"
GB: ...
Erebus Svilzerian.
Will yo ass marry me?
GB: A pause, fo' effect.
"Yes yes y'all." Dude holla'd, before once mo' sweepin her tha fuck into a hug.
"A thousand times, yes." Dude holla'd, smilin wider than he could ever remember havin done up in his wild lil' fuckin entire millenia-long life.
TheDeleter: That's exceptionizzlely awesome yo
---
GB: "ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!" Kayle roared, throwin her head back n' her wings spreadin ta they full height. With her fistz clenched her ass stomped up ta tha (probably at dis point) surprised Zephyrus before leanin in.
"For hours now, I have followed yo ass as yo ass bumbled n' stuttered like a top bouncin bout walls, hopin against HOPE yo ass would do some shit, ANYTHING, vaguely up in ANY way horny-ass and of import yo, but no, no, YOU have strutted around ALL THE DAMNED DAY bustin da most thugged-out Menial, banal tasks imaginable by any reach of existence, muthafucka! Yo Ass could not have fought anythang, and holla'd anythang of deep significizzle, no, yo ass went HAT SHOPPING n' STOPPED IN A DAMNED FOREST GLADE?, muthafucka! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"
Kayle whipped ta her muthafuckin right n' grabbed a hood mailbox, not even strainin as her ass ripped it from tha ground, boltz n' all, before turnin n' liftin a foot back n' hurlin it tha fuck into a van so hard dat it tipped over hittin tha street wit a crash.
Kayle turned back ta Zephyrus, raisin a finger ta continue yellin at his ass before pausin n' instead throwin her handz tha fuck into tha air.
"BAH, muthafucka! This is POINTLESS AND STUPID!" Biatch hollered, spinnin on her heel n' beginnin ta strutt away., wingtips twitchin angrily.
RedSpy: Hat shopping
RedSpy: Is the true definition of thug lyfe
SteelKomodo: "BAH, motherfucker! BAH, I say!"
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