Chatzy Madness Volume 402: Things That Are Not Josephine

Jumpropeman: as I read sheep's post I'm sitting here thinking I wish I had someone to be part of a sheep church
Jumpropeman: clearly Peat the Mole is a devout of the ugly god
Bree: meiling comes to the shrine of the ugly god all like HOWDY NEIGHBOR
Bree: (don't forget the temple of anime is in the shrine quarter)

--- 

RubyChao: so
RubyChao: apparently someone was reading draco's rp
Gooper Blooper: I'll do you one better
Jumpropeman: draco sending vibes out into the universe
Draco: Sorry. I will keep my vibes to myself. D;

---

RubyChao: goops made me care more about kokoro in three months than i cared about her for the years i tried to get her into rp
RubyChao: he can confirm
Gooper Blooper: It's true
Gooper Blooper: In the offseason I said I'd thought about maybe adopting her and his response definitely had the energy of someone letting someone else have some piece of junk in their garage they didn't even know was still there
Kuro: i'm being harassed
Gooper Blooper: "Oh, THAT thing? Uh, yeah, sure I guess"
Gooper Blooper: but now he loves her
Gooper Blooper: the koko is always pinker on the other side
Kuro: sounds like me when passing yams over to chao

---

Cornwind Evil: "Following the Brightest Day event, the Superman-based title Action Comics was retooled to star Superman's Arch-Enemy Lex Luthor, even being billed as Lex Luthor's Action Comics. This lasted about a year and followed Luthor's quest at godhood, which culminated in him actually getting it only to lose it when a condition of the godhood was that he couldn't use his new power to harm Superman."
Cornwind Evil: You can probably guess how long he managed to be a god.
Draco: Five minutes
Cornwind Evil: If that
Draco: Figures. XD

Chatzy Madness Volume 345: Pong FAQ

N Goat: I HAVE FOUND A NEW CHARACTER
Jumpropeman: Prism's uncle
MobileDraco: Regice?

---

Del Is You: Okay so
Del Is You: I am very, very, very happy that knuckles has got zero votes
Del Is You: Not even sarcastic
Del Is You: He's gonna die hilariously and I can't wait :U
Gooper Blooper: "oh no"
RubyChao: oh no
Del Is You: oh no

---

Bree: a ZFPD interrogation
Gooper Blooper: seems accurate

---

ivel: "Commander_Cookiepuss: Noseless horror on noseless horror violence"
ivel: out of context quote for Goops ;P
Gooper Blooper: more like NOSED HORRORS

---

Bree: excellent line from this WoW quest
Bree: "[...] he wrote me saying he's out of ammunition. I sent him down there with enough ammo to shoot the planet in half, but flint goes through ammunition like you or I go through... air. so, I need you to bring him some more, will ya?"
Gooper Blooper: So a ZFPD quest where we bring Blasto ammo, got it
Bree: it makes slightly more sense when it's blasto. he's got like twelve limbs and three times as many guns
Bree: this dude I'm bringing ammo to is a friggin dwarf, he's got two dang arms and can hold one (1) gun
Bree: (there are no handguns in WoW, all firearms require two hands to use)
Bree: then again maybe this dwarf has really terrible aim. this is an engineering quest and last time I checked in with flint the dwarf, the questgiver remarked that they try to keep him from inventing/building things because he ruins everything
Bree: there's, like, a pretty compelling reason why this guy isn't in the engineering shop in dalaran, I'm guessing
Bree: (the ones sending me to him are at the engineering shop in dalaran - this dude seems to be, like, "that one underling that gets the less important, far-away jobs so they can safely fuck up where it won't affect anybody else")

---

Dreadball Del: https://over-ti.me/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/da-don.jpg
Jumpropeman: vince should have used that in the brawl
SteelKomodo: kek
Draco: Vince is ready for Race Yer Mates.

Chatzy Madness Volume 341: Chompette, I Choose You!

Cornwind Evil: Dawn's kicks got smashed in the Brawl
Cornwind Evil: Her kids, rather
moth: her shoes...
moth: biggest loss in the brawl..

---

Jumpropeman: you can tell by the way he walks he's a goopy man, no time for bloops

---

Jumpropeman: thanks for the Cirno vote Brine <3
Draco: If Cirno gets exactly nine votes, does she automatically win?
Jumpropeman: yes, so you better give her lots of votes to prevent this
Draco: Can I give her anti-votes? I want to vote for Yotam instead.
Jumpropeman: the only antivote allowed is calling someone rainbow TRASH
Draco: RUDE. Rainbow Dash is going to WIN IT.
Waluigi: I would have given her my Sponsorship vote too if I could've :V
Jumpropeman: she's not your character... yet

---

Bree: komachi: *sleeping in a pile of votes*
jinx: *scratching names into the sides of bullets to dedicate one shot to each voter!*
ren: *sulking in the corner*

---

The Quest To Not Be Exploded: Someone list all the Curse members in the Brawl for me
Gooper Blooper: The six characters I drew in the first post after JRM opened voting
RubyChao: and Kaede
Gooper Blooper: rank: Kobber Historian
Gooper Blooper: Codename: PEACHPUFF
Jumpropeman: King Biruritchi, Chompette, Robbie Rotten, Futo, Jinx, Plague
Jumpropeman: 3 girls, 3 guys
Jumpropeman: makes the epilogue weddings easy to write when Plague wins
Gooper Blooper: The Curse is an equal-opportunity employer
Gooper Blooper: Plague calls dibs on Chompette
Bree: biruritchi is a real king though
Bree: very eligible bachelor
Jumpropeman: *Sonia fans herself*
Gooper Blooper: I'm imagining The Curse's epilogue just being something stupidly wholesome and happy despite their villain status
moth: bold of you to assume anyone is worthy of anyone else
Jumpropeman: Curse epilogue: They take over olympia

Chatzy Madness Volume 340: The Big Boob Brawl

Jumpropeman: that's a quality xyra picture
Gooper Blooper: I got a folder fulla them
Gooper Blooper: a xyra for every situation
Gooper Blooper: Stay tuned for Xyraplot when Project Scarlett shows up to kill and replace her
IDelneth Delkin: I cant believe the next Xbox is gonna be in zfrp
Bree: meiling's wife is gonna kill xyra and wear her skin?

---

Bree: "Black Clover - An exotic imports shop selling various knickknacks from far-flung countries, mostly Asian and African. Always smells like incense. Try the magic stones, which they like to call "Magic Stones", for a good luck charm!"
Bree: I hope you portray this store as being as hackneyed as the anime of the same name
Bree: because hina's shop does sell incense and "magic stones" also
Gooper Blooper: in that case it will be such a bad store you have no idea
Bree: yay! XD
N Goat staring into the middle distance
RubyChao: think of it this way, sheep
RubyChao: it could be worse
RubyChao: it could be
RubyChao: Store Art Online

---

Jumpropeman: aww sugar
Jumpropeman: post lost
Jumpropeman: clicked that very helpful print view option no one would ever use
N Goat: Has everyone been cursed tonight?!
Gooper Blooper: gotta print my RP
N Goat: I'm going to print out my next post and mail it to you guys, okay?
Gooper Blooper: it'll take a national park's worth of trees and enough ink to drain every squidkid in Inkopolis but we'll make it happen

Talk To Transformer

https://talktotransformer.com/

Give this website a prompt and it will "write" something for you based off of it. Here's some ZFRP-flavored AI stories. Enjoy.

(The text in bold at the beginning is the prompt I wrote. Italic text in parenthesis is my own comments, added post-generation.)

---

Let the ninth Big Bar Brawl begin! After completing the main quest "A Friend in Need," return to the Sanctuary to finish the quest "A Friendship Gone Viral."

Notes

The Big Bar Brawl takes place after the player completes the mission "A Friend in Need."

The quest "A Friend in Need" cannot be completed until after completing this quest.

The Big Bar Brawl is the first Big Bar Brawl outside of the Caverns of Time. After completing this quest you will receive 5 Big Bar Brawls for free.

Bugs

If the player stands to the right of the bar to receive the fight on the other side before the beginning of the encounter, they will see the Big Bar to the left, but in the center. A fix is to return to where you received the fight, stand to the side of the bar, and turn away to receive the fight from the other side and wait outside to receive it.

If the player dies during the fight, they can simply continue on with the quest.

(Five Brawls for free, huh? I think you'll need to start outsourcing, JRM.)

A New Era Dawns

"Good Evening. This is Slow Weather Jamz, your source for 24/7 weather coverage in, on, and around Olympia. Stay with us, and stay informed.

Here's your weather forecast for Tuesday, April 16."

All across Olympia, restaurants and homes and vehicles alike heard the sounds of the local forecast begin on their TVs and radios. It may be above the clouds, but there was still plenty to talk about regarding Olympia's weather. Temperature and wind speed, for starters, not to mention the city was subject to artificial rain at certain preplanned times to keep the decorative plants watered and to make the city feel a little more 'natural'. Of course, nothing about Olympia was natural. This city was schemed up in a board meeting years ago, and built from the ground up to one day be a flying spectacle. At last, that day had come.

But was the world ready for this? Had Olympia's time come too soon? Or was it time for the people of Earth to step forward into a bold new age of interplanetary alliances?

Chatzy Madness Volume 296: I'm A Cuckster

F҉O҉R҉M҉E҉R҉V҉E҉N҉G҉E҉A҉N҉C҉E҉: Little do you suspect that Kap is Tony Kapponi, a wereform of the tiny lizard lady from when she was bitten by an enthusiastic island surfer.
Jumpropeman: Ven, you're undoing all my hard work D:

---

Jumpropeman: "Beach Cookout: I HOPE WE DON'T FIGHT VERA, PLEASE DON'T LET US FIGHT VERA
Beach Cookout: I WANT TO LOVE VERA"
Jumpropeman: I'm loving Vera
Jumpropeman: because she's so ruthless
Jumpropeman: can't survive on a diet of goofball bad guys alone
GermanChao: were the big five goofballs? :V
Jumpropeman: the penguin love was very serious
Jumpropeman: I've already explained to you mister, but I meant more the villain where the piss isn't taken out of them or they get silly at times. Even Chaos has done jokes
GermanChao: that's true
Blast Chiller: i know she's ruthless for a reason and i like her for that too but maaan
Blast Chiller: i like cool ladies
Jumpropeman: we have a significant lack of cool ladies in rp
Jumpropeman: you'll have to look elsewhere im afraid
GermanChao: i think we can afford at least one evil cool lady :V
Blast Chiller: YOU DID THIS LAST YEAR TOO
Blast Chiller: I CRY
GermanChao: no, that was an evil cute lady!
GermanChao: very different

---

Bree: hey DMG, since you are in the military and all, do you know anything about guns?
DMG: I know an awful lot about the M16
DMG: that's about it
Bree: alas
El Diablo Pollo: what about
El Diablo Pollo: THESE GUNS
El Diablo Pollo flexes
Bree: very impressive, ivel
DMG bows down to the total rippage of Ivel's guns
Jumpropeman: ivel is the Beaster Bunny
DMG: hope you know, Beaster Bunny has every one of my votes for the name alone
Bree: no >:I nibbler is gonna win the brawl!
Gooper Blooper: There's something about Beaster Bunny I need cleared up
DMG: Is CustardKittens somebody I should know?
Gooper Blooper: Is he made of chocolate, or does he just look like he's made of chocolate
El Diablo Pollo: jrm sister
Gooper Blooper: That's one of JRM's sisters
DMG: oh, cool
DMG: just wondering
Gooper Blooper: She draws art for the Brawl every year
DMG: cool
Bree: along with his other sister, RainbowDash
Bree: jrm actually has like five sisters
Jumpropeman: he is made of chocolate
El Diablo Pollo
Bree: jrm actually has like five sisters
Jumpropeman: he is made of chocolate
El Diablo Pollo: jrm confirmed made of chocolate
DMG: I KNEW IT!
Gooper Blooper: Okay, thanks for that important info
Jumpropeman: I'm sweet as sugar 🤗

Chatzy Madness Volume 291: Sex With An Alligator

Ho-oh Sentai Featherman: my first post
Ho-oh Sentai Featherman: is a barpost
Ho-oh Sentai Featherman: and it's a byte post
ivel: it's a barkpost
Ho-oh Sentai Featherman: FUCK
Ho-oh Sentai Featherman: that's good
Ho-oh Sentai Featherman: borkposting is the hot new trend

---

Befuddled Cartoonist: dia arrives when gino stays at the bar for longer than 2 seconds
ivel: it took him longer than 2 seconds to drink his drink :U
Befuddled Cartoonist: okay, like, a MINUTE
Befuddled Cartoonist: :I
Gooper Blooper: Now I'm imagining Gino just walking in, grabbing a drink, opening his mouth, throwing the entire contents of the glass into his open mouth in one motion, then walking away
ivel: lel
ivel: he probably would too
ivel: less effort to drink that way :U

---

Gooper Blooper: Mole Knight: Fire affinity, likes to dig
Specter Knight: Basically the grim reaper, can summon skeletons
Plague Knight: Mad scientist, potions, explosions, a lovely assistant
Treasure Knight: Anchor on a retractable chain, good swimmer, greedy
Propeller Knight: Flies, has a rapier, can call in an airship
Tinker Knight: Not much by himself but has some secret weapons he built
Polar Knight: Big grumpy dude with a snow shovel, ice affinity
King Knight: Smug.avi, struts everywhere, has a scepter, can summon horns to blow damaging confetti
Gooper Blooper: the order cliffs notes
Bree: neat
ivel: so what you're saying is Tenshi vs Treasure Knight
RubyChao: yes
Gooper Blooper: his arena is completely underwater in Shovel Knight
Gooper Blooper: this is the best idea
Draco: Still not Smuggery The Smuggening

Chatzy Madness Volume 278: Some Meaty In My Cheesy

Slam Jammin Japan asked Chatzy to choose between he and he. Chatzy chose: he
Slam Jammin Japan asked Chatzy to choose between has and has. Chatzy chose: has
Slam Jammin Japan asked Chatzy to choose between no and no. Chatzy chose: no
Slam Jammin Japan: choose style, style
Slam Jammin Japan: fuck

---

Del: i feel bad because i kept dunking on shantae for being a game for people who like midriffs

(later)

PhoneDel: The Shovel Knight ruse was a distaction
PhoneDel: I has the Shantae

---

Sora: i somehow want to go ice scating
Sora: ...
Sora: skating.
Nero Wolfe: gross
Gooper Blooper: I'M THE SCATMAN

---

Nero Wolfe: if I can't use it on my lap, NO ONE CAN
Gooper Blooper: "I'm mildly inconvenienced! TIME TO NUKE ALL MY DATA"

---

Sora: sarah
Sora: *holds up a white mage*

Chatzy Madness Volume 277: I'm Covered In Hornets

Trufflehunter: "Fireworks market explodes" oh that's nice, I guess with New Year's coming up sales would really pick up- *it literally exploded* ...oh
Gooper Blooper: well, it comes with the territory
RubyChao: from what i read it's not even the first time it exploded
RubyChao: because, again, fireworks

---

Trufflehunter: "a chemistry is performed so that a chemical reaction occurs and generates a signal from the chemical interaction with the sample, which is translated into a result, which is then reviewed by certified laboratory personnel."
Trufflehunter: That is the most science sounding science I ever heard!
Gooper Blooper: josephine etc
Trufflehunter: I actually got it from a story about a lady who scammed her way to 9 billion dollars with fake blood testing equipment
Trufflehunter: "When Cramer asked Holmes for a terse true-or-false answer about an accusation in the article, she replied with a meandering 198-word retort."

---

Trufflehunter: just finished reading a synopsis of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child
Trufflehunter: *brain sparks and struggles not to shut down*
RubyChao: yeah when those spoilers leaked people thought they were fake because of how absurd and nonsensical they seemed
RubyChao: nope
RubyChao: all real

---

Missile Sheep: I can never remember Tenshi's last name correctly
RubyChao: just use "banana"
RubyChao: it's close enough
Missile Sheep: As a small "joke" that probably didn't play, I had Squid call her Hinawani or soemething during a fite vote
Draco: Tenshi Kuwahawi

Chatzy Madness Volume 264: Donuts, The Snack Choice Of EVIL

(Regarding Yew's ghost phobia)

Jumpropeman: you know who else was afraid of ghosts
Jumpropeman: Moosh
Gooper Blooper: Yewsh
Jumpropeman: I know more about that bear than most Zelda characters thanks to Rainbow Dash
Jumpropeman: eke out every bit of detail from the Oracle games to make him more interesting :V
Gooper Blooper: Probably my favorite thing about the JRM sisters entering the Brawl each year is seeing what you do with their characters in the preshow and fite itself
Gooper Blooper: A neat little study in what happens when one gives the fitemaster an essentially blank slate
Gooper Blooper: This reached its' extreme with Blind Scorpion Nun, who was an OC with literally nothing but a name, not even an image
Gooper Blooper: And yet JRM made a whole dang character out of that
Jumpropeman: I was given a wheel and a hill, the rolling with it just comes naturally

---

Harp-A-Live: look at that Angie sass
iKomodo: ...I misread that as Angie's ass
iKomodo: Three years of RP'ing dirk has ruined me

---

M Sheep: Oh, save me from myself, the college put the mug of the last guy who student directed on the FRONT PAGE of the site.
CouncilChao: oh dear
Gooper Blooper: M SHEEP'S GONNA BE A STAR
CouncilChao: the eldritch true form of the sheep will surely drive everyone away
Gooper Blooper: YOU'LL SEE HIS FACE ON EVERY MAGAZINE
M Sheep: So, good for him, it was one of the best shows I've ever seen. Hands up. Good little bit of signal boosting for him since he's either graduating or already graduated. He totally deserves all the best, hard worker, good at what he does, ect.
M Sheep: On the other hand
M Sheep: IT'S JUST SITTING THERE, MOCKING ME
M Sheep blood pressure steadily rising
M Sheep: I'm steadily turning into the Hulk
M Sheep: but with less muscle
M Sheep: so, not The Hulk, basically
Harp-A-Live: sheep slowly turning into Attwater

---

iKomodo: ​From your drawing of Big Money Jo, goops, I didn't realize Jo was generally chubby. I thought it was just all on the booty :P
Draco: Dittos what SK said.
Gooper Blooper: A girl with her stats with all the weight in the booty would probably look kinda ridiculous, lel​
Jumpropeman: thicc
Gooper Blooper: XD
HONK HONK BUTT HONK BUTT: Terrifying thought: 295 pounds of booty, 5 pounds of person
HONK HONK BUTT HONK BUTT: Just a skeleton
HONK HONK BUTT HONK BUTT: With major badonkadonk
Harp-A-Live: pretty sure you'd be dead!

Chatzy Madness Volume 262: Ungulate Suffers Most

Ardent Argent Agent: Nylorahug achieved
It's
It's beautiful
I'm going to cry
Ardent Argent Agent will be a moment

---

Bronn: "Wait, so you can't use a computer to see the pages... and you can't play anything on a DS. What, are you allergic to modern tech or something?"
"...This is going to sound rude, but between your look, your tape gimmicks, and what you just said... you're not human, are you."
"Can I ask just what you are, then?""
Bronn: DOLBY'S AN ALRUTHINE
Bronn: I KNEW IT
Cornwind Evil: Her name is the Alruthine equivalent of "Sam"
Cornwind Evil: While all the others are named stuff like "Celestine" and "Alistaire."
Mis Sheep: Celestine is the fused form of Celestia and Dustine
Mis Sheep: Also, I return after a lengthier absence than intended
Mis Sheep: What else is new?
Mis Sheep: Fish swims, birds fly, Jrm is actually a supervillain gaslighting us into picking the characters he wants to see in the brawl, and I take a long time to do things

---

MechaChao: sheep
MechaChao: would you want to do more stuff about
MechaChao: TOADBOY
Mis Sheep: LIKE WHAT?!
Mis Sheep: I mean
Mis Sheep: Probably
Bree: mizuki needs to talk to some forum nerds
Bree: also quoting something I said on skype: "and then Mizuki blows all their minds when she posts a selfie of her and Stan Ligature in front of the KOB"
MechaChao: ^
Mis Sheep: THEY AREN'T BECOMING CHARACTERS
Mis Sheep: but sure
Bree: are the drunk guys who vote on fites also on this forum
Mis Sheep: I'm not sure they can see straight enough to type
Bree: they tried to write a novel once, together
Bree: their strategy was to simultaneously pour three beers on the keyboard
Bree: it was the greatest novel ever written
Mis Sheep: Ahahhaha
Bree: the computer however did not survive
Bree: also they had to buy more beer
Bree: three beers is half a pack! but they really wanted to give it their all
Mis Sheep: Liter-ary geniuses of their time

(later)

Mis Sheep flops in
Mis Sheep: kill me now
Shiva Dweeb: no
Mis Sheep: Put up a post at least
Gooper Blooper: being m sheep is suffering
Mis Sheep: Ungulate suffers most
Gooper Blooper: if I had a billion dollars I'd give a big enough chunk of it to M Sheep so he could live jobless in a nice little spoopy cabin that got good internet and he'd have a friendly robot butler who would type for him
Mis Sheep: Ahahhahah
MechaChao: oh man, the other part i didn't even realize
MechaChao: the deleted posts
MechaChao: that touch, man
Gooper Blooper: Sheep put so much thought into this fake forum
Gooper Blooper: If he had more personal time I dare say he'd just go set up his own Zetaboards and fill it with topics, posting with twenty different accounts as he logs in and out, and then send Chao a link to it and chao has to make a WateryCollector account and post there for real
Gooper Blooper: they have a roleplaying subforum
Gooper Blooper: we have to go deeper
MechaChao: i would do it
MechaChao: i really would

Chatzy Madness Volume 258: Big Bar Brawl 6 Edition

MeleeChao: ​>​music meister interested in praline
MeleeChao: ​i've got a bad feel about this scoob

---

M Sheep: ​Still getting over Attenborough​
Jumpropeman: ​Attenborough seemed a very Zoofights-y thing to do so I just rolled with the idea when it came to me :P
SteelKomodo: ​...is it crazy to say I wanna see him outside this?
SteelKomodo: ​like, maybe narrating stuff that happens in SRS RP?
The betting corner returns!?: ​Oh my god yes
M Sheep: ​Soar the Eagle snags a new hire to the team!​
Jumpropeman: ​"Here we see Dewnine engaging in a playful romp with Aggie. Notice how its slobber swings from its mouth every so briefly before freezing into icicles" *nature documentary music for 2 minutes as the camera watches Dewnine drool up close*​
SteelKomodo: ​hahahaha

---

Gooper Blooper: ​>​Ceneric's Cuties
Gooper Blooper: ​THE GREATEST ALLIANCE SINCE ARIEL AND MOOSH
M Sheep: ​Somebody get on drawing Ceneric's Cuties in Charlie's Angels poses​

---

SteelKomodo: ​"Josephine and Mika get in an impromptu wrestling match there on the ground"
SteelKomodo: ​Dirk's nose explodes with blood loud enough to startle Pit. "HOLY CRAP DIRK YOU OKAY"
Jumpropeman: first KO of the Brawl is Dirk
Jumpropeman: and it hasn't even started yet
Gooper Blooper: "Calm down, Dirky, at least wait until I cross off that bingo square!"

---

MeleeChao: there's 13 feeds
MeleeChao: and in a plot twist
MeleeChao: it turns out Alan Anderson is helping to bankroll the brawl this year
MeleeChao: THE COUNCIL WAS BEHIND IT ALL ALONG
MeleeChao: ...okay that joke was a stretch, sorry
Jumpropeman: The Council storms the Brawl with a plesiosaur, a kaiju with scissors for a nose, and some Modern Dinosaurs like crocs and komodo dragons

Chatzy Madness Volume 257: Kill All White Mages

M Sheep: "So, let's go over what we know."
M Sheep: Gloria then pauses for several seconds and says "And that's all we know."
M Sheep: Patchy: "But you didn't-"
M Sheep: Gloria: "Yes."
Gooper Blooper: no, sheep, that was last year
Gooper Blooper: this year you actually progressed things!
M Sheep: What?!
M Sheep: IMPOSSIBURU
Kitty Bree: someday it has to end, sheep
Kitty Bree: someday
M Sheep: Some interesting theories from the Mage Minds to be sure
Gooper Blooper: *and then it turns out Gloria was wrong about everything and Purnima is the one who made the bomb*
M Sheep: Ohohohohoho~
M Sheep: Turns out, Purnima was Mrs. Kovalchuck
M Sheep: and the bomb is actually Junko
Draco: Junko is da bomb. <3
M Sheep: And to think Blik was the mastermind behind the whole thing
Draco: Alice was trying to save us.
Gooper Blooper: Blik even told us he was going to build a bomb back in season 2
Gooper Blooper: Unfortunately, none of us could understand him
Gooper Blooper: so we just played the king's quest town theme on loop and laughed at the unintelligible robot man
M Sheep: Alice wasn't the hero we wanted
M Sheep: but the hero we deserved
Draco: To be fair, Goops, Gloria gets obvious things wrong sometimes.
Gooper Blooper: Like having no idea that "Gloriamame" is just a scheme to allow Yamame to fill her with cookies and then eat her?
Draco: More or less. :V
Kitty Bree: don't eat the sugar mage, yamame, it'll go right to your hips
Kitty Bree: and you'll get the diabeetus
Draco: D::::
Kitty Bree: does yamame actually have eight eyes
Draco: Sometimes. Usually she only has two.
M Sheep: It's 2016
M Sheep: She can have as many eyes as she wants
M Sheep: I hope she works her way up to sixteen before the season is out
M Sheep: No slacking now!
Draco: ​You haven't seen Yamame go full spider yet.
Kitty Bree: ​will there be a terrifying image when yamame does go full spider?​
M Sheep: ​You never go full spider.​

---

Pellar: ​Gregor dies of injuries sustained while accepting Brawl Championship, meaning only the horse wins
FinancialChao: >​implying any assistants will make it
FinancialChao: they had their year >:(
Gooper Blooper: Actually, that makes me want to ask - Does the horse have a name? If so, JRM would want to know
Gooper Blooper: I'm guessing it doesn't
M Sheep: It's name is Gregor's Meal Ticket
FinancialChao: Gorgre
Pellar: In game, no. Scarcely any of the horses, really. For most characters it's just a class change. There's one in FE that does- Sophie's- but any for Gregor is flavortext. That said, liking to consume text as I do, we shall call it Ogre Gr.
Kitty Bree: its name is Emergency Rations
Gooper Blooper: mrgrgr
Pellar: It's name is That Remembrance Of Days Long Past That Neither Time Nor Drink May Blur.
Alternatively, you could plagiarize Geralt of Rivia and name the horse Roach, but I imagine the white wolf might take issue with that.
FinancialChao: its name is Bad Horse
FinancialChao: and it turns out it's the godbeast of the brawl
Pellar: Bad Horse, (Bad hoooorse!) Bad horse, he's bad!
He rides across the nation, The thoroughbred of sin *sings away badly*
FinancialChao: so, as someone who's never watched it, just read about it, answer me this
FinancialChao: is bad horse just literally a horse
FinancialChao: that is bad
Pellar: You never see him perform any actions, but at the ending, he is a literal horse standing at the table with the other human supervillains. =u Most of his characterization is from Horrible or from Bad Horse's own minions.
Pellar: It is ​implied​ that Bad Horse is entirely capable of speech, plotting, and motive, as well as possibly a great deal more, but whatchersee is a horse. Y8
FinancialChao: excellent
FinancialChao: i am glad that he is nothing else

---

Draco: For some reason, it just feels right having Zeldoten use British insults.

Chatzy Madness Volume 256: Deadtris

PandemonicChao: >​RD voted
PandemonicChao: >​there's very little huge text or color
PandemonicChao: i
PandemonicChao: what world am i in

---

Jumpropeman: im gonna try and find myself in those four hours Mighty No. 8 credits
PandemonicChao: goodbye, jrm
Jumpropeman: ...
Jumpropeman: they didn't credit me right
Jumpropeman: It just says "- a Generous Backer"
Harpy: a generous becker
Jumpropeman: my Kickstarter info is public and I said my name on the surveys they sent out
Jumpropeman: well, hopefully my name will be in other games
Jumpropeman: being the Special Thanks in Axe Cop can't be my only legacy
Jumpropeman: who needs children when you can have your name amidst a crowd of other forgettable names *o*
Onoving: Well, JRM, at least it wasn't what they gave Josephine. I don't think you want your post life credit to be 'a generous backside'.
PandemonicChao: i dunno, with her character at this point, she might actually be proud of that

---

Del: lol i ordered too many multibases for kings of war
Del: i ordered what i thought was 1 regiment and 2 troop bases
SteelKomodo: del pls
Del: what i have is 5 regiments and 14 troops
Del: i'm dying
Del: at least i don't have to order more for the rest of my kingdoms of men
Del: derp
SteelKomodo: rip u

---

Jumpropeman: is gino from mabinogi
Jumpropeman: or is he from something else
ivel: yes
Harpy: he is indeed from mabinogi!
Harpy: milletians and all of his moves come from mabinogi
Jumpropeman: coolio, that'll help me a bit
ivel: and his name was from... a name generator :U
ivel: but yes
Harpy: those moves he listed are from there and are some of the strongest skills there are in the melee stuff
Jumpropeman: *has Ginocini use the Kamehameha*
ivel: lel

---

(Springtrap insults every Brawl entrant besides himself that CW doesn't vote for)

Rainbow Red Ambrose: I debated on whether to have Springtrap end EVERY reason with "also you fucking suck." I decided in the end it was a Sideshow Bob steps on rakes joke.
Gooper Blooper: And then everyone jumps springtrap at the start for mocking them and he gets last
Rainbow Red Ambrose: "you people have no sense of humor."

Chatzy Madness Volume 253: The Ur-Admin

(Del debuts a new character named Toinette and she and Marie begin making dirty talk almost immediately)

TechnoChao: so if they shack up
TechnoChao: do we call the pairing
TechnoChao: ​Marie And-Toinette
SteelKomodo: ​CHAO
SteelKomodo: ​PLS
Draco: lel
Draco 's monocle pops out. ಠ_ಠ
Bree: next on marie flirts with everyone: marie flirts with meiling and scarlett, a threesome ensues
SteelKomodo: BREE PLS
Bree: and/or she flirts with rahat and h'astra
Bree: both of those work
Bree: ​all five of them, idk​
BUTT BUTT and SHIELD BUTT: *looks at watch. All hands on watch are pointing to Lewd*
BUTT BUTT and SHIELD BUTT: Oh goodness. Just look at the time
Bree: lewd o'clock
Draco cancels ZFRP, slathers "PG-13" signs everywhere. EVERYWHERE! 8V

---

Bree: aardvarks

---

Dellaris: Oh hey when did that new chatzy madness come up
TechnoChao: yesterday
Dellaris: It's a good one
TechnoChao: you're SO BEHIND
Draco: For being eight hours ahead of us, you sure are behind the times! ;D
Altair: Draco you fucker
Draco: ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Draco begins blaring the airhorns.
Draco BLARHORNS.

---

Draco: Harpy, I think Ruby is planning the next phase of his evil plan to trick me into making more characters relevant to Gloria.
Gooper Blooper: You figured it out, Draco, Chao's been pulling the strings this whole time
Gooper Blooper: His ultimate goal is to replace Ariel with Gloria as your favorite sugar mage
Draco: Noooooooooooo

---

TechnoChao: i forgot for a second that honey the twilek was just dead
TechnoChao: one of the very few characters who didn't return from a fite
TechnoChao: NERIQUE PERMAKILLED SOMEONE
Draco: Yeah. He's a badass.

Chatzy Madness Volume 249: Outraged Goldfish

Cornwind Evil: I've figured out a Twisted Metal solution
Cornwind Evil: And at the end of Round 3 there will be a SURPRISE in terms of RL stuff
Samoa Dinosaurs: Raspberry is forcibly ejected from the tournament?
Jumpropeman: the surprise is that Cornwind will do the finale entirely on film through charades
DiamondChao: the SURPRISE is that we will get together and do it in real life
Shaman Obssessed Harpy: oh god its a LARP
Jumpropeman: imagine a bunch of people running around pretending to drive cars and blowing raspberries for engine noises
Samoa Dinosaurs: Twisted Metal spoilers:
Samoa Dinosaurs: ​Joshy steals the six human souls and becomes omega joshy
Samoa Dinosaurs: ​Nothing changes
Samoa Dinosaurs: ​He just keeps driving his kratt and competing

---

Jumpropeman: some people say they want to skydive before they die as sort of the "crazy stunt" they do so they don't feel unfulfilled
Jumpropeman: but I want to be
Jumpropeman: a human cannonball
Jumpropeman: and if I can do that
Jumpropeman: I'll die happy
Cornwind Evil: Thing is, anyone can skydive
Cornwind Evil: You need training to be a human cannonball methinks
ivel: that is true
Jumpropeman: i'd be willing
Jumpropeman: I'll put a pot on my head like Guybrush and I should be fine though, right?

---

Cornwind Evil: Hey GB, check it out
Cornwind Evil: It's the forgotten cousin of the Metal Slug series
Cornwind Evil: And what an AMAZING ending!
Gooper Blooper: An old arcade game? You bet your ass it'll have a fantastic ending
Gooper Blooper: they always made sure to make it worth your effort and quarters, and by that I mean CONFLATURATIONS YOU WINNER
Cornwind Evil rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 14
Cornwind Evil: Parsee gives an adequate conflaturation.
Cornwind Evil: ...see, Draco? Now you've got ME doing it
ivel: that ending
ivel: really
Gooper Blooper: Draco has taken control of CW's chatzy handle
Draco: :I
Draco: I did no such thing. *hides the remote control*
Cornwind Evil: Cornwindplot 2016 is cancelled
Bree: hooray!
Draco: More time for Skype.
Bree: I mean uh
Bree: oh no :<
Cornwind Evil: Unfortunately, since I had no wholly set plot, that command inverts on itself
Cornwind Evil: Meaning THE RETURN OF THE SEASONLONG CORNWIND PLOT
Draco: Oh no! Cornwindplot consume all other plots!
Shaman Obssessed Harpy: two season long harplot
Shaman Obssessed Harpy: ye
Shaman Obssessed Harpy rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 1
Shaman Obssessed Harpy: no
Shaman Obssessed Harpy: the dream never hadplen
DiamondChao: wait
DiamondChao: so does that ending
DiamondChao: do they literally just ​restart the game
Gooper Blooper: Oh my, that IS bad
Gooper Blooper: especially for 1994
Gooper Blooper: Pathetic, really

Two Weeks

Did you know F-Zero racers can go at normal speeds? It's possible, with the right equipment. Thanks to the ever-handy skills of Josephine's mother Celestia, the Blue Falcon was now street legal. It could drive along on an added set of wheels at a reasonable pace, or - when needed - tuck in the wheels and go right back to its' ludicrously fast ways.

So it was now that Josephine was cruising towards the Las Vegas Strip, her eyes shining with wonder and desire at the neon lights.

In the back seat, Gloria rolled her eyes, her face buried in a book about Las Vegas' history. "You know, Josephine, you got lucky last year. They say the house always wins."

"House didn't beat me."

"It will. You realize that these places couldn't stay in business if the odds were 50/50, let alone in your favor? Keep playing, and you're bound to lose."

"Only if I'm unlucky. And I feel like pressing my luck."

"Don't say I didn't warn you."

"C'mon, Gloria, loosen up."

"Hey, I'm just looking out for you."

"Ugh, I know, but..." Josephine sighed. "You know something? Everyone in our family has changed except you."

"What? What are you talking about?"

"Sarah found herself, and helped us change job classes. And since then, she's matured and grown a lot as a person. I've gained confidence in myself. Ariel's gotten stronger after being tempered by trials like The Society. Mom was freed from Tiamat and found her calling as a baker... and a mechanic, and a theme park owner... sheesh, she does a lot. And Dad... well, he was DEAD! But you're the same old stuffy boring Gloria."

"I resent that." Gloria huffed. "I opened my own library."

"You always wanted to do that. That's not a change."

"I became a summoner!"

"That hasn't changed who YOU are, sis."

"Well, so what? Maybe I like being boring." Gloria said, looking back at her book. "I mean, someone around here has to keep a cool head. You guys are rowdy enough, but this city is like a drug. Especially for you. This family needs a designated driver."

"That's Dad's job. C'mon - you're young, you're experienced, and you're frittering away the best years of your life doing nothing but reading!"

"Reading is fast becoming a lost art. Someone needs to preserve the traditions of the past."

"Okay, look. A couple years ago, Ariel took me to the ZFS King of Beasts to help me come out of my shell and stop caring so much about stupid shit like dress sizes and magazines. Now it's my turn to help someone."

They came to a stoplight. Josephine grimaced briefly at the line of traffic in front of her, but then took the opportunity to turn her head to look at Gloria, and jabbed a finger at her.

"You? You're gonna have fun in Las Vegas."

"I had fun last year."

"You didn't even scratch the surface of the Vegas experience. Well, no more. You're going to see the shows."

"Well, okay."

"And you're gonna gamble."

"Ugh... Must I?"

"And eat at the Heart Attack Grill."

"You wouldn't."

"I would. Gloria, you're getting the full Vegas treatment this year! And you can take that to the bank!"

"The only things I'll be taking to the bank after this are an IOU and raised cholesterol..."

Josephine shook her head, chuckling, and then heard someone honk their horn at her. She hurriedly looked back at the road and saw the cars moving, and the Blue Falcon lurched back into motion. With one hand on the wheel, the chemist flipped on the radio, looking for a station...

Chatzy Madness Volume 245: Hippity Jumpscotch Twirlyroo

Jumpropeman: is doctor who an omniglot
The Terrible Pokerpiller: His TARDIS has a universal translator on board
The Terrible Pokerpiller: Hence explaining why everyone speaks English
The Terrible Pokerpiller: He has been stated to speak 'Baby'
The Terrible Pokerpiller: So....I guess so
The Terrible Pokerpiller: They poked a little fun at this with the 9th Doctor, who was played by an actor who had a very clear subset English accent
The Terrible Pokerpiller: His first companion asks him if he's an alien, why he sounds like he's from "The North"
The Terrible Pokerpiller: The Doctor irritably replies "LOTS OF PLANETS HAVE A NORTH!"
Jumpropeman: oh my god i want to see Doctor Who having a conversation with a Baby like its Baby Geniuses or something
Jumpropeman: i will note I know his name is just The Doctor, but I forget that until I finish writing out my latest thought

---

---

N Goat: Here's a blogpost I want; Marina's continued adventures with RVPA
Littlefinger: well well well
Littlefinger: you may be in for a surprise
Littlefinger: except for the fact i just hinted at one
Littlefinger: you may be in for a fulfilled hint
N Goat: Yaaaaay
N Goat claps exitedly

(It happened!) 

Chatzy Madness Volume 229: Lunchables Wiki

RubyChao: >​find cool halloween collab for all the touhous ever
RubyChao: >​somehow they completely forgot utsuho, to the point where i checked their list of characters and it goes right from Rin to Koishi
RubyChao: me right now
RubyChao: (also aya was dressed as pit and if only it had been utsuho, dammit)
SteelKomodo: lel
SteelKomodo: all the lel
Redspycameo: LEL in a CELL
Redspycameo: The all vampire VEW PPV
SteelKomodo: hahaha

---

A Weapon To Surpass Metal Gear: *starts round of Isaac*
A Weapon To Surpass Metal Gear: *boss 1 is Rag Man, who has homing shots and constantly-reviving mooks*
A Weapon To Surpass Metal Gear: Ed why do you hate me
A Weapon To Surpass Metal Gear: Why did you ever think this was a good idea

---

(Nora, a Season 5 antagonist who was spared, is killed by her superior, who is revealed to be Alocyn, a minor antagonist from Season 3)

Gooper Blooper: *starts reading brine post*
Gooper Blooper: oh dear
A Weapon To Surpass Metal Gear: Yessss Brineplot
Gooper Blooper: Really impressed that Season 3 stuff is coming back, Alocyn and Aevar's stuff was similar to Julius in that we got a brief glimpse but there was clearly a lot more that could be done
Brinehammer: Hey guys. Who's ready to punch Alocyn in the face.... next year?!
Gooper Blooper: next yearrrrrrrrr
Gooper Blooper: she's had it coming for quite a while
Brinehammer: Whole centuries!
A Weapon To Surpass Metal Gear: punching people who deserve it is like half of Undyne's hobbies!
Brinehammer: I have a bunch of plans for one-off battles, fights, quests, all the usual... ​Plus, like Aevar, Alocyn can keep coming back from the dead until she can't, so instead of just laughing evilly behind some walls or whatever, there'll be plenty of chances to wreck her shit/have her wreck shit.​
A Weapon To Surpass Metal Gear: ​Yessss
Gooper Blooper: srspost
RubyChao: ​oh god, rip nora
RubyChao: ​ASH DID IT ALL FOR NOTHING
Gooper Blooper: ​get dunked on, ash
Brinehammer: ​I... yeah, I didn't want to rain on his parade, but the second Nora escaped from Earth she was a dead woman. That's also why Ton never said goodbye to Mary- they tried to leave as fast as they possibly could.​
RubyChao: ​at least Ton and Roger are still alive, i hope they show next year... as more than corpses
Gooper Blooper: On the flipside, FV will probably throw a dang party :V
RubyChao: kek
RubyChao: chanting "DING DONG, ​NORA IS DEAD​"
Brinehammer: ​They weren't going to- Koplot really was supposed to just be one season and then over/done with- but now? They loved Nora, and Alocyn killed her. They're definitely coming back for revenge.​
RubyChao: ​awww yeah
Gooper Blooper: ​Confirming that Mary will be back next year, in completely unrelated news
Gooper Blooper: ​another six months of energy drinks and sameface awaits you
RubyChao: ​reminder that nobody realized mary was KOed due to sameface
iKomodo: ​Ash needs to git gud
Gooper Blooper: ​He did. How do you think Christine got pregnant?
Gooper Blooper pushed down stairs