Chatzy Madness Volume 394: Meet The Mets (AKA Lunar Dragon Song Edition, AKA "Swack")

Harpy: i am tempted by an owl mask
Meow Sheep: Sounds like a
Meow Sheep: real
Meow Sheep: HOOT
RubyChao: more like a real
RubyChao: HOOPLA
Meow Sheep: It's a swingthing!

--- 

Jumpropeman: next year I will be introducing
Jumpropeman: MULTIPLE
Jumpropeman: male characters
Bree: WHAT
Jumpropeman: bold, I know
Bree: wao!!
Gooper Blooper: Oh boy, more moles!
RubyChao: gasp!!!
Bree: lel goops XD
Harpy: can i date them
Harpy: no wait that's phrasing
Bree: mole dating simulator
Harpy: may i ship them with one of these LUCKY LADIES
Jumpropeman: they will all be eligible bachelors
Harpy: garsp

---

Draco: Relevant to RP:
Jumpropeman: Mega Drive sitting on her porch in a rocking chair eating werther's originals
Gooper Blooper: link
Bree: sumi no
Bree: how could you hurt dolby like this
Bree: top ten anime betrayals

---

(Re: My 2021 Touhou Sorter results)

RubyChao: someday goops will be unable to leave out the pc-98 games
RubyChao: because we will have ruined too many hus from them
Harpy: do you really think we can bring back orange
Harpy: read: bootleg meiling
RubyChao: NOTHING WILL STOP US
Gooper Blooper: I do like that the two most important PC-98 hus are from the same game so I only need to include one for now
RubyChao: luize DESTROYED
Gooper Blooper: man, I forgot all about her...
Jumpropeman: luize is louise in the sorter right?
RubyChao: yep
Jumpropeman: I've been treating her as such
Harpy: you won't forget in season 13 :)
RubyChao: i'm just used to the old translation
Harpy: geez, luize
Gooper Blooper: Holy crap Luize, remember the time you were in RP?
Harpy: blasphemous
RubyChao: `ban Gooper Blooper

Chatzy Madness Volume 378: A Fine Dinner Of Air

 (Re: the lone Rocket Grunt in Kanto in Pokemon GSC)

Miao: Chanda woulda just whooped that rocket's ass without a pokemon battle
Miao: "defeat me, you must, to find the truth!"
Miao: Chanda takes out her wrench, adjusts it so the middle part spews out flames
Miao: "Keep wastin' my time and see what happens, punk."
Miao: grabs him, points the flames towards him
Miao: she takes power grid repairs seriously

---

Draco: https://youtube.com/watch?v=cgOx7HXKgqk
Jumpropeman: radical!
Draco: I'm pretty sure it's canon.
Jumpropeman: that is how Clownpiece will win Blood Ball (which is Blood Bowl with baskets)
Draco: Double canon.

---

Midnight Sheep: "Earl, a rotund yellow alien wearing shorts and shades but no shirt to speak of"
Midnight Sheep: And yet, to speak of the lack of a thing...
Midnight Sheep: Is that not to speak of the thing itself?

---

(JRM is playing Yakuza, on the hunt for an infamous minigame...)

Jumpropeman: you know I'm looking for that karoake game
RubyChao: jrm; the karoke place is over in the lower right area of Kamurocho
RubyChao: iirc it's on the rightmost of the main vertical streets
Jumpropeman: ah good! I am close by!
Jumpropeman is stopped by a Palm Reader substory
Jumpropeman: karaoke will have to wait
RubyChao: the most Kobber thing about Kiryu
RubyChao: is that every time he just plans to go around town he gets into a variety of wacky situations and also fights
Miao!: noticed that when i moved my routine to the working bathroom on the other side of the house
Miao!: i
Miao!: stopped doing those
Miao!: i need to move them back, the facial stuff at least
RubyChao: for a second, harpy
RubyChao: i thought you meant that every time you crossed the house you got into a variety of wacky situations
Miao!: if that happened every time i'd probably have high blood pressure issues
Miao!: or cry because of sad MAGIC stuff
Miao!: or something

(later)

Jumpropeman plays darts drunk in Yakuza
Jumpropeman: how did I lose
festivel: don't drink and dart

(later)

Jumpropeman: "Substory 47: Crisis on the Crapper"
Jumpropeman: alright yakuza
Miao?: getting those corpse party elements in there
Jumpropeman: time to show me how bathroom problems become a street brawl
RubyChao: jrm has gradually been learning one of the most satisfying things about yakuza
RubyChao: that being
RubyChao: if you meet a jerk, 99 times out of 100 they will eventually challenge Kiryu to a fight
RubyChao: solely so that you can enjoy throwing them around
Jumpropeman roped into Pocket Circuit car races before I can even finish bathroom quest
Gooper Blooper: oh god, Sidequest Pileup
RubyChao: that's also yakuza in a nutshell
RubyChao: you will have all sorts of side things available at any given time
RubyChao: that's why there's a postgame mode of just "run around and do the stuff"
Jumpropeman: the funny thing is
Jumpropeman: for bathroom quest
Jumpropeman: I just had to walk like ten feet to the left to get to the item box
Jumpropeman: but even that got interrupted :V

(later)

RubyChao: i like how
RubyChao: even if jrm tells me which chapter of yakuza kiwami he's on
RubyChao: i have no idea how far along he'll be
RubyChao: as in how close to the end
RubyChao: because who knows how much side content he'll bump into
Jumpropeman: chao, it is very important I get this plush sparrow in the crane game! the crime family drama can wait!
Miao?: oh geez
Gooper Blooper: From the sound of it he could finish Yakuza in twenty minutes if he didn't keep getting roped into bumper cars and javelina herding minigames
RubyChao: that's pretty accurate
Miao?: that sound like real sidequests and i want them
RubyChao: don't forget bumping into majima
Jumpropeman: i'd probably not care about the sidestories and amusements if they weren't so entertaining

---

Draco: Controversial Opinion: VTubers
RubyChao: *SCREAMS LOUDLY*

Chatzy Madness Volume 374: Throw The Butt Casually

(Re: Halloween costumes)

LaptopDraco: Nobody is going to react to DeMonde telling Gale she has to dress up as a Nintendo thing tomorrow? jk
Jumpropeman: Game Gear walks in as a Game Boy Advance
LaptopDraco: Perfect! :V
Jumpropeman: Master System dresses as the Virtual Boy too
Jumpropeman: mostly because she wants to be ignored
LaptopDraco: Too late. She appeared and had dialogue. We love her now.

--- 

LaptopDraco: "You've got such a handsome forehead, Ravio! I'd like to see it more often~" <- Saturn's disgusting fetish emerges at last. jk
Jumpropeman: Saturn loves to flirt but is unsure how to confront the idea of being in an actual relationship!

---

RubyChao: i am going to Crash
RubyChao: just
RubyChao: megaflop
RubyChao: right after halloween rp
RubyChao: and then i can do things like epilogues!
RubyChao: but first, flopping.

---

Muffet Sheep gears grinding
Muffet Sheep: Darn, I meant to have the raccoons take bets on the fites
Muffet Sheep: oh well
Jumpropeman: well when they all end in friendship no one will get a prize
LaptopDraco: Hey, still time for it. We've got...by generous estimates...six hours?
LaptopDraco: Maybe nine
Muffet Sheep posts BK doing a backflip
LaptopDraco: Perfect!
LaptopDraco: And he backflips all the way to Agama.
Muffet Sheep: BK will not be coming to Agama
LaptopDraco: Agama will be coming to BK?! 8D
Muffet Sheep: We'll see if I hold to it, but I'm intending to cut down on appearances from prior character hanger-ons in Agama next year
LaptopDraco: Oh no! I thought Blanket was a shoo-in for a return!

---

The Bree joined the chat
The Bree: hi!
The Bree: frands <3
Jumpropeman: hello bree!
Jumpropeman: happy hallowbreen
The Bree: ah, my favorite day of the yearrr
The Bree: that inexplicable 24-hour period where you can... poke komachi in the tum and hear her make the sound like the pillsbury doughboy!
The Bree: no, wait, that's my second favorite. oh right, the one where everyone in RP wears nifty costumes and goes spoop in the night!
Muffet Sheep: I don't remember that holiday...
The Bree: speaking of nifty, what's niftu
Muffet Sheep: A potato
The Bree: *inb4 niftu's costume is "a god damn nap" like hina's*
The Bree: potato also very appropriate!
Jumpropeman: sheep beat me to it
Muffet Sheep: The Elcor has gone as a sumo table
Jumpropeman: i should just have sheep do my costumes
Jumpropeman: he's 2 for 2!

---

The Bree: was googling to doublecheck spelling of "schwarzenegger" (like, AHNOLD) but accidentally portmanteau'd it with terminator, typed "schwarzenator"
harpy: nailed it

A Merry Mega Christmas

-OLYMPIA MALL-

"So 'Mega Christmas' is actually a thing, huh?"

Xyra nodded at the confused Sumireko. "Yeah. A lot of Olympia's businesses push it as the ultimate version of Christmas. It gets a lot of backlash for being super commercialized, even more than regular Christmas since it's purely a company-invented holiday. Like Black Friday. But kids think it's cool and a lot of corporations will frame their charity donations and toy drives as being part of it, so it sticks around."

Sumireko shook her head with a small smile. "Heh... Olympia feels like a slice of the future sometimes."

"...So, here we are, huh? Another year over, another fleet of enemies defeated... off to prepare for next year's adventures. It's different this time, though."

Sumireko and Xyra turned at the voice, seeing Dolby approaching the group and looking wistful. Sumi waved at her friend. "Different? What's different about it now, Dolby?"

"There's less than two weeks left in 2019. That means there's less than two weeks left of the decade. The New Tens, Sumi... it's ending. A whole decade of stuff happening, including the entirety of the Kobbers' history so far. The 2010s will become part of history forever... and one day, I'm gonna reminisce about it." Dolby looked around the mall with a vaguely sad smile. "I'm a nostalgia elemental... but this is the first time I've ever actually been around for the turn of the decade. It's a little scary."

"Don't be afraid!" Xyra put a reassuring hand on Dolby's shoulder. "I don't remember my life before I became Xyra. Seanet had nothing to tell me about it... but it's okay. I've got you guys now. And so this is basically MY first new decade, too. We'll face it together, alright?"

"..."

Dolby smiled at the reassuring face of her friend and nodded. "Right. Let's head into 2020 with our heads high."

"Yeah! And look out for new adventures!" Sumireko cheered, pumping a fist.

"As energetic as ever." Dolby laughed a bit as Sumi hopped around eagerly, ready to continue their last-minute Christmas shopping. The three of them walked on together, deeper into the mall. They were the only members of Nerd Club here today. Tokiko and Rachel had both long finished their shopping. Tokiko's dislike of large crowds and Rachel's careful planning of the holidays meant both had taken care of business weeks ago, but Xyra and Sumireko were rather more flakey and had to get a few more things before they were finished buying gifts. As for Dolby, she'd finished her shopping, but her love of the mall kept her coming back anyway.

A disturbance in the middle of the mall caught their attention, especially when they spotted a certain bartender they knew very well. Jill Stingray, clad in a red-and-green elf costume, stood next to the big comfy chair of a rather unconventional-looking Mall Santa, a redhead that the nerds didn't recognize.

Dolby blinked. "...Jill? Is that YOU?"

"Oh my god, what are you wearing." Xyra covered her mouth to suppress a giggle.

Chatzy Madness Volume 338: I'd Rather Be Watching Dino Dana

ANEPUNLEASHED: One day..
Cornwind Evil: AHHHHH A HARPY
Cornwind Evil: I THOUGHT SHE LEFT
Cornwind Evil: HIDE ALL THE OTHER CUTESY CHARACTERS WE BRING OUT WHEN HERS ARE GONE
Jumpropeman: *hides Taserface*

---

Draco: "Being short has its advantages. A second to aim low is a second I have on them." <- So what happens when he gets in a shootout with Zeldoten and HE accidentally aims too high?
Draco: "Always aim for the knees, copper." BANG.
Jumpropeman: zeldoten wouldn't use a gun though
Draco: You're right. She just throws crabs at people.
Draco: Then Niftu's REALLY in trouble because he wasn't expecting a crab with a ratling gun.
Jumpropeman: I believe voluses are 3 feet tall
Jumpropeman: since they're like half the height of 6 foot tall Shepard
Draco: Ah. So we actually found someone shorter than Zeldoten! Still taller than Nib "Kop Killa" Bles, though.
N Goat: But how tall is Blasto?
Jumpropeman: that is a difficult question
Jumpropeman: I'm guessing 8 feet?
Jumpropeman: most of it is tentacle
N Goat: Aren't we all
Jumpropeman: here's a hanar with regular people
N Goat: But how tall is
N Goat: Inch High Private Eye?
N Goat: Standing on top of Theodore.
Jumpropeman: Inch is about 1.6979e-19 siriometers
Jumpropeman: on top of Theodore though
Jumpropeman: idk probably like 20 feet
Draco: Blasto's all leg.
N Goat: Them pins.
Jumpropeman: those legs do go all the way up
Draco: Even Longlegs McLengthylegs is impressed!

---


N Goat: "But I AM Death." She said uncertainly,
N Goat: You should never claim to be death uncertainly.
N Goat: "Was it your party? Is today your birthday?! I know humans care about those!"
N Goat: There's a lot to unpack when it comes to Giselle.
N Goat: "Only by the slimmest of margins did she not throw her arms wide and tell Jared that She Was Death; If she did, he would have thought Aiko was a clown. Compared to anything else, including dying, Gen 2 couldn't imagine worse. Clowns were subhuman scum."
N Goat: There's just so much
Draco: She's a doll.

(later)

N Goat: "But like Aiko would've said, that would be whack."
N Goat nods sagely

Talk To Transformer

https://talktotransformer.com/

Give this website a prompt and it will "write" something for you based off of it. Here's some ZFRP-flavored AI stories. Enjoy.

(The text in bold at the beginning is the prompt I wrote. Italic text in parenthesis is my own comments, added post-generation.)

---

Let the ninth Big Bar Brawl begin! After completing the main quest "A Friend in Need," return to the Sanctuary to finish the quest "A Friendship Gone Viral."

Notes

The Big Bar Brawl takes place after the player completes the mission "A Friend in Need."

The quest "A Friend in Need" cannot be completed until after completing this quest.

The Big Bar Brawl is the first Big Bar Brawl outside of the Caverns of Time. After completing this quest you will receive 5 Big Bar Brawls for free.

Bugs

If the player stands to the right of the bar to receive the fight on the other side before the beginning of the encounter, they will see the Big Bar to the left, but in the center. A fix is to return to where you received the fight, stand to the side of the bar, and turn away to receive the fight from the other side and wait outside to receive it.

If the player dies during the fight, they can simply continue on with the quest.

(Five Brawls for free, huh? I think you'll need to start outsourcing, JRM.)

Chatzy Madness Volume 335: Cowboy Carrots With Gray Cowboy Hat And Gray Cowboy Bandana

Jumpropeman: to get into the Easter spirit, I've naturally been watching tons of horror related content on the Nightmare Expo youtube channel
Jumpropeman: apparently
Jumpropeman: someone threw a crab at Hungrybox for winning at a Smash Melee competition recently
ivel: wat
Jumpropeman: a real crab too
Jumpropeman: dead at least
ivel: guess they were feeling crabby

---

Jumpropeman: now this
Jumpropeman: is my kind of horror
M Sheep: Jrm, why
M Sheep: and now I've learned that this guy tried to pitch a show of this to adult swim.
M Sheep lies down
Jumpropeman: It sure is a great club sheep
Jumpropeman: I can get into this right here :)
M Sheep: Some of the elements going on here I do actually really like and think one could mine a lot creatively from it.
M Sheep: Other elements
M Sheep: Oi
Jumpropeman: i like this video just for its oddity, but the others didnt really capture me because its often a mishmash
M Sheep: From what little I've looked at, that one was the better viewing experi-
M Sheep: hold everything
M Sheep: this
M Sheep: madman
M Sheep: looking at some thing for adult swim he put together and there's a section in here where he sampled the song from Fun In Balloonland
M Sheep is having a very surreal experience at the moment
M Sheep: THIS
M Sheep: But maybe don't watch more than thirty seconds, for the sake of sanity.
Jumpropeman: >rated 1.2/10 on IMDB
Jumpropeman: ah, so this is another one of your treasures, is it
M Sheep: It's an odd one. Part footage of a parade with voiceover by a woman who may be very, very deep in her cups, part kind of home movie-esque where a kid and some other kids talk to balloon peo-
M Sheep: There's nothing I can say, no way to frame this movie where it sounds like a sane or enjoyable movie experience.
M Sheep: When Rifftrax did Rollergator, they equated it with Fun In Balloonland
Jumpropeman: wow
M Sheep: Having seen both, I would actually state on the record that Rollergator is the marginally more entertaining experience because, at the very least, while you can't follow what's happening because there is no script and all the dialogue is drowned out by an endlessly looping banjo track, there's always stuff happening onscreen. Fun In Balloonland takes its time to do anything.
M Sheep: NOW HERE'S SOME CONTENT WITH REAL TASTE
Jumpropeman: I really want to watch Rollergator now
M Sheep: The whole thing used to be up on Youtube, but no longer.
M Sheep: You might have to go to Rifftrax and purchase a vod.
M Sheep: Only other thing I can immediately think of is look at the online Pluto Tv's Rifftrax channel schedule and see if it's in rotation.
Jumpropeman: surely someone is selling the real deal
Jumpropeman: like a dvd with a printout cover or something
M Sheep: Amazingly, there's a single copy you could buy off the Walmart website for like fifty bucks if that tickles your fancy.
M Sheep: I have no idea how that's a thing
Jumpropeman: you know
Jumpropeman: I don't think
Jumpropeman: it is
Jumpropeman: tickling my fancy
M Sheep: There are a lot of places trying to sell this garbage for over forty dollars.
Jumpropeman: Rare, untouched Rollergator, mint condition
M Sheep: Cheapest for a physical copy turns out is 24.95 on Amazon. Cheapest overall is 9.99 digital video on Rifftrax; no idea if you can turn their commentary off.
Jumpropeman: i probably wouldn't mind the commentary
M Sheep: Honestly.
M Sheep: You might as well be able to hear something other than banjos.
M Sheep: To be unnecessarily fair, you do strain to hear things from the beginning but the banjo doesn't become an omnipresent companion until at least a few scenes in.
M Sheep: Chatzy Madness 911: Sheep's Been Talkin' 'bout That Rollergator Again
Jumpropeman: a day without rollergator is... well, that's hardly a day at all!

A New Era Dawns

"Good Evening. This is Slow Weather Jamz, your source for 24/7 weather coverage in, on, and around Olympia. Stay with us, and stay informed.

Here's your weather forecast for Tuesday, April 16."

All across Olympia, restaurants and homes and vehicles alike heard the sounds of the local forecast begin on their TVs and radios. It may be above the clouds, but there was still plenty to talk about regarding Olympia's weather. Temperature and wind speed, for starters, not to mention the city was subject to artificial rain at certain preplanned times to keep the decorative plants watered and to make the city feel a little more 'natural'. Of course, nothing about Olympia was natural. This city was schemed up in a board meeting years ago, and built from the ground up to one day be a flying spectacle. At last, that day had come.

But was the world ready for this? Had Olympia's time come too soon? Or was it time for the people of Earth to step forward into a bold new age of interplanetary alliances?

Chatzy Madness Volume 322: The Cory Is Coming From Inside The House

SteelKomodo: http://youtube.com/watch?v=pDLjTXfx-MU
Delcast Eternals: Oh god theres another Dr rabbit source
SteelKomodo: yes
Delcast Eternals: Also the description mentions this creator was grounded five times and uh
Delcast Eternals: Now I feel old
SteelKomodo: dunno when that was released but it looks very 80's
SteelKomodo: me too :P
SteelKomodo: wonder what they got grounded for?
Delcast Eternals: Making Dr Rabbit YTPs
Delcast Eternals: :U
SteelKomodo: hahaha

---

Draco: I always worry about Precious Cinnamon Roll Beach Episode.
Brando: I worry more about circe
Draco: I worry about ALL the Cinnamon Rolls. *hugs all the Coolladies and Beach Episode and Cirral*
Gooper Blooper: Cirralmin roll
Draco: Oh! *and Dovetail*
Brando: Too bad magic
Brando: you were abandoned
Gooper Blooper: MAGIC was not abandoned!
Draco: She's my Precious Cinnamon Cake.
Draco: Because she's extra sweet.
Gooper Blooper: a mere roll not enough to hold all that cinnamon
Draco: There are not enough robes to protect her from my love.

---

Jumpropeman: reminder that Captain Falcon is a mass murderer
RubyChao: Good.
Gooper Blooper: oh god I forgot about that amazing cutscene

---

RubyChao: "Telling someone that they die in the future — regardless of the existence of time travel — would not cause them to dramatically fade from existence while screaming “noooo.”"
Draco: ......it doesn't?
Draco rewrites Dracoplot finale.

---

Jumpropeman: ewww, we can like each other's posts now
SteelKomodo: nobody's ever gonna use that :P
Delcast Eternals likes every post with Rory in it

Chatzy Madness Volume 321: Lethal Ham-Inflicted Injuries

B.C.: I still feel like trash
Gooper Blooper joined the chat
B.C.: hi goops

(I PM Harpy a commission I had just finished for her.)

B.C.: My sickness has been cured
Gooper Blooper: XD
B.C.: no not really but i want to show this pic so bad

---

Renais: cheng'de plot: one mantid tells an entire army to fuck off
Gooper Blooper: who would win
Gooper Blooper: a massive evil army
Gooper Blooper: one mantis goil
Renais: DR. GOOPY'S MEAN MEME MACHINE
Draco: Getting dropped like Wids' last girlfriend.
Renais: i'm so proud of that line more than anything
Renais: its the stupid shit i'm most proud of
Draco: It's probably going in the ticker tonight.
Renais: forget the fact that i did MGM and had an epic ending
Renais: "dumped on the ground like WM's last girlfriend" gives me the giggles
Renais: 100% Giggle Girl
Draco: Excellent. :3

---

MobileDraco: https://imgur.com/Khm59Yl
City of Beasts Toinette: zfrp.gif

A Nerd Club Christmas

-DECEMBER 24, 1999-

-MANHATTAN, NEW YORK-

"I do not very much enjoy Christmas."

It was Christmas Eve, and here a child with messy black hair hid under her sheets, grumbling to herself while peering at a book with a flashlight.

"Mother and father do not listen to me. I am certain I just got frilly girly things again. I bet they're pink."

The girl known as Viola Brown sighed, her cheeks puffing out. Long has she wanted to run away from home, start her own life where no one would make fun of her for liking the occult. She'd go far away and change her name. Viola was nice, but Brown was much too plain. Maybe something like... like...

She looked down at the book she was reading again. The Official Pokemon Handbook. She'd read it cover to cover many times, but she always came back for more. The pages were open to the two-page spread devoted to Gastly, Haunter, and Gengar, and she stared at those pages with wide, wistful eyes.

"I wish I could be a Pokemon Trainer. They get to go wherever they want and have adventures. Pokemon would not judge me."

Her eyes fell to the list of attacks the Pokemon could learn. The words "Night Shade" drifted over her vision.

"...Nightshade..."

Assembly

-ZFPD BUILDING-

Donuts were the finest food to ever be invented. On this, Officer Patricia Wagon was absolutely certain. She didn't care if cops and donuts was a stereotype - they were delicious, dammit, and nothing would keep her from her daily donut. But as she finished eating her treat and washed it down with a sip of black coffee, her eyes drifted over her mug to the girl sitting across from her nibbling worriedly on a toaster pastry with one hand while scanning the Hoku Lewa Times newspaper she clutched in her other hand. The girl looked like an overwound toy, ready to snap if the slightest thing went wrong... even though so far things had been smooth sailing.

Of course, Patty suspected she knew why.

"Are you going to be ready for this?"

"AAAGH!" Denise Marmalade flung her newspaper into the air in a panic, though she miraculously didn't throw her pop-tart. "What?! Now?! OKAY!" She opened her mouth wide-

"Wait, wait, hold on-"

Denise promptly shoved the entire rest of her pop-tart into her mouth, and promptly began choking on it. Patty groaned, put down her coffee, and slipped behind her coworker for the Heimlich maneuver. Once the artificial incident was over with, Patty spun Denise around and put her hands firmly on her shoulders.

"You're too tense, Denise. You need to calm down."

"B-but the kobbers are coming! They're coming in less than ten days! Some of them are already HERE!"

"I know. And there will be incidents, and there will be trouble, and there will be stress. I get it. But you have to take it easy and not act like it's the end of the world. This happens every year! I've read all about it, Browny's told me stories, it's crazy compared to other places but here it's nothing new. So just try and take it one day at a time, alright?"

"A... a-alright. Thanks, Officer Wagon."

"Please. We're coworkers!" Patricia patted Denise on the shoulder and gave her a friendly smile. "Call me Patty."

Chatzy Madness Volume 310: Numerous Of Chucksters

Miniscule Sheep: "I am tempted to try and think of such a name for myself. A Hydrusona, perhaps."
Miniscule Sheep: did Vykarius ever do this?
MobileDrac: I assume that's why he's Duke Snugglecrusher.

---

Gooper Blooper: heading off
RubyChao: night goops
Jumpropeman: night gooper the war criminal
Gooper Blooper: I'm guilty of youtube crimes
Jumpropeman: you're strange man goop
Jumpropeman: but you steam a good ham
Draco: Bye Goops.
Gooper Blooper: I roleplayed Edea who I made an expert burger chef because of one dumb picture, I need to be able to steam hams
Draco: You called Brgrgrs "steamed hams" even though they're clearly grilled?
Gooper Blooper: Um... uh...
Gooper Blooper: you know
Gooper Blooper: one thing I sh...
Gooper Blooper left the chat
Jumpropeman: sounds like goops is pooped

---

Marauder Sheep: Ugh, I can't escape Metal Gear Survive trailers
Marauder Sheep: Has not this poor series suffered enough?
Marauder Sheep: STOP
Marauder Sheep: STOP
Marauder Sheep: 'E's DEAD

---

yugivel: "Godzilla is now playing Total War Shogun 2"
yugivel: well, rip
SteelKomodo: rip all of us
Smol Catto: godzilla picked a good game
Smol Catto: i wonder if he started with the shimazu or something

Chatzy Madness Volume 309: The King Of Limbo

The Goopy Express: Harpy's physical gift came to me in a massive box
The Goopy Express: also I'm called "goopity bloopity" on the address label
The Goopy Express: that's how you know harpy sent it
The Goopy Express: Harpy gave me... this!
RubyChao: holy big pogeys
Sunkern: What in god's name is that abomination WHO'S THAT POKEMON
MobileDrac: I got one of those with Mega Tyranitar.
The Goopy Express: Harpy included a note
The Goopy Express: "Ey Goop, LEGS INTENSIFY - Harpy"
MobileDrac: That's the Priere Pokemon.
The Goopy Express: pogeysephine

---

Jumpropeman: Protagonist of Rogue Warrior Richard Marcinko says "It's like Christmas" as one of his few profanity free lines
Jumpropeman: of course he says it about murdering north koreans and soviets
Jumpropeman: a very interesting version of christmas

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The Goopy Express: I got Pac-Man 256 on Steam the other day and tried it today
The Goopy Express: It's easily the coolest "endless runner" I've ever seen, but maybe I'm just infatuated with ancient pixelated franchises
RubyChao: >coolest
RubyChao: but
RubyChao: but meme run
The Goopy Express: THE MEMES JACK
MobileDrac: NANOMACHINES METAL GEAR MOTHER OF ALL OMELETTE DU FROMAGE

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Jumpropeman: also, if you want a good idea of what Rogue Warrior is like, just listen to the end theme
The Goopy Express: oh boy, I read about the end theme
The Goopy Express: here goes nothing
MobileDrac: "MC Mickey Rourke" I have a good feeling about this!
Jumpropeman: also, someone called Disaster Newz followed me on twitter, and they tweet out news on disasters
Jumpropeman: i have to wonder if they mistook what my disaster reports are about
MobileDrac: That was special.
Jumpropeman: hi ho hi ho this fucker's gonna blow

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Conksuck Santa: My brain keeps conjuring up bullshit to try and complicate the simple process of putting head on pillow and closing eyes

Chatzy Madness Volume 300: The Best of Chatzy Madness III

Gooper Blooper: I played a puzzle game with some of the worst music ever
SteelKomodo: whut D:
Gooper Blooper: you are not ready for how little this music fits Zoroark
SteelKomodo: D:
RubyChao: oh god
Gooper Blooper: this one is just a normal puzzle game ​but then the cacti started multiplying and things spiraled rapidly out of control
SteelKomodo: ​D:

(Chao vanishes for about 15 minutes)

RubyChao: ok that's
RubyChao: probably enough cactus ring game for now
Gooper Blooper: hahaha
Gooper Blooper: hardcore cactus gaming action

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Gooper Blooper: I found the absolute nadir of the already-poor mario cartoons
RubyChao: oh my
Gooper Blooper: it is called Club Mario, and it was literally just The Super Mario Brothers Super Show, except they took out all the live action parts and replaced them with two totally radical skateboard dudes
Gooper Blooper: http://youtube.com/watch?v=FhHlhovepKw
iKomodo: D:
Gooper Blooper: early_nineties.avi
RubyChao: GRAB YOUR BOARD
RubyChao: hahaha "Although the segments were intended to replace the Mario and Luigi vignettes, DiC destroyed all tapes used for filming Club Mario."
RubyChao: old shame
Seth Rollins Walks In Circles: So Club Mario is lost to the ages
iKomodo: Thank god for that
RubyChao: there's still some results on youtube
RubyChao: I SHALL POST IT HERE FOR EVERYONE TO SEE (no i won't)
RubyChao: oh my god this one is about earth day apparently
RubyChao: ariel watches, left shocked
Gooper Blooper: Have I mentioned ariel has the worst allies
Gooper Blooper: because Ariel has the ​worst​ allies
RubyChao: who else was on her list of allies?
Gooper Blooper: I forget but it definitely came up before with something dumb
RubyChao: oh yeah, this
Gooper Blooper: oh yeah, that's right, good work chao
RubyChao: why did i just picture ariel facing off against a bunch of CEOs
RubyChao: "Yeah, well I have allies too!"
RubyChao: pan over to the Campbell Kids and the Club Mario hosts
Gooper Blooper: and the wheelers
RubyChao: "...As I was saying, I can take all of you on by myself!"

Chatzy Madness Volume 290: KON'NICHIWA ALAN-KOUHAI

Brave Caterer: fun fact: Sumi is a shopkeep in my army of ghosties
Bree: yayyy sumi
Brave Caterer: the sprite looks too much like Sumi to let it slide
Bree: her goods are the most esoteric you'll find anywhere! buy now!!!
Draco: Sumi's prices are esoteric.
Brave Caterer: unfortunately, since she's a phantom, that means she died somewhere along the line
Brave Caterer: probably a peaceful death, with all her esoteric friends around her
Brave Caterer: Rachel cries at her bedside, and the one thing she says is
Draco: She died of old age in the Brawl.
Brave Caterer: "Y-you neeerd"
Brave Caterer: because Sumi said something completely dorky before she passed

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Jumpropeman: Kamen Rider Hime meets the queen
Draco: JRM actually read my blog. Usually he just posts funny memes and hopes they're accurate. ;o;
Jumpropeman: the latest Kamen Rider Hime
Draco: JRM: See? Fits perfectly. I can't believe you don't read my blog you're so on-point.

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Cornwind Evil: Sine gives Zeldoten the ultimate test
Cornwind Evil: Go through Aladdin's Cave of Wonders
Draco rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 8
Draco: Nope. Fail.
Draco: She got killed before stepping in.
Cornwind Evil: I'm reminded of a joke from the Mark Maid comic Irredeemable
Cornwind Evil: Where the Superman expy, who has turned evil, gathers up all his old villains and says he wants to team with them to do evil
Cornwind Evil: And to show he trusts them, he's given them all a switch that when pressed, activates a machine that will deactivate his powers
Cornwind Evil: Cue all the villains pressing their switches all at the same time
Cornwind Evil: It was, of course, a trick/trap
Cornwind Evil: Not-Superman: Wow. I didn't even finish my SENTENCE.
Draco: HA.
Phone: No matter how hard I press the button. ...
Draco: lel
Cornwind Evil: So I picture that with Sine, Zeldoten, and the Cave
Cornwind Evil: Sine: You can't touch anything bu- "INFINDEEELLLLSSSS!" Wow, I didn't even finish my sentence.
Draco: Sounds about right. 🙂
Phone: All the Cave of Wonders wants is true love, obedience, and a little lube before people get handsy. Why is that so wrong? Dirty thieves in all the wrong holes, grabbing whilly nilly.
Jumpropeman: go to bed
Phone: I would be glad to, but work.
Jumpropeman: they'll understand if you tell them what happened
Phone: I made bad, lewd jokes and my friend said go to bed, boss.

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Draco asked a question: Ready for RP?
Chatzy closed the question after 3 responses:
Ready for RP?
No    1         Off-RubyChao
Draco stahp    1         Cornwind Evil
Yes    1         Gooper Blooper
Draco: Mixed results. Can't tell if people are ready for RP.
Gooper Blooper: Come May 1, people will bumble their way onto the forum and posts will happen
Gooper Blooper: ready or not, here we all come

Kuwahawi, Here We Come!

Come along and ride on a fantastic voyage...

Dolby smiled and bobbed her head, listening to her tunes as she looked carefully around her room one last time to make absolutely sure she wasn't forgetting anything important. Not only did she have three big suitcases packed with personal items, but she was using herself as suitcase number four, having shoved all the nostalgia into her body she could comfortably carry. Perusing her depleted rack of cassette tapes one more time, she opted to grab one last blank tape and cram it into her mouth to join the rest.

"Dolby, it is time to depart." Odyssey droned from behind her. He carried only a single small case of items - his arcade machines were being shipped to Kuwahawi Island separately.

"Yeah, I think I'm set." Dolby nodded, smiling at her friend and turning her music down. "I still can't believe you're coming to Kuwahawi. I really thought I'd be the only Nostalgia Elemental to follow the Kobbers."

"Las Vegas is my home, and I will miss it. And when this is over, I will enjoy being back home." Odyssey's pupils flicked back and forth, looking at the ransacked state of Dolby's room as she had taken tons of her personal belongings and packed them up. "But I believe your desire to see more of the world is not without merit, and the opportunity to introduce these natives to arcade gaming is one I do not wish to miss. It shall be a worthwhile endeavor."

"Man, this place is gonna feel empty with you two gone."

Dolby and Odyssey turned to see Zenith, Sinclair, and Noir standing in the hallway, crowded around the entrance to Dolby's room. It had been Sinclair who had spoken, and he lowered his camera-like head. "We'll miss you."

"Come back safe, all right?" Zenith said, stepping in close. "I'll keep these two in line in the meantime."

"And when you get back," Noir piped up, "we can throw ourselves a little shindig!"

Zenith chuckles. "Sounds like a plan. In the meantime, have fun. We'll make sure to keep you in mind with music and games while you're gone."

Dolby grinned and hugged Zenith. "Thanks! Don't worry - we might get scuffed up a bit-"

"Might?" Sinclair laughed. "It's the kobbers! And you even said you want to fight in that Brawl they do every summer!"

"Hah, yeah! So we WILL get scuffed up. And probably worse. But we'll come back in one piece, just you wait and see!"

Odyssey began to move to the hall. "I shall miss you all as well. When you next see me, I shall have made arcade history."

Dolby followed Odyssey, and Sinclair came after them - it was he who would drive them to the airport. And as the waving Zenith and Noir vanished in the rear-view mirror and Odyssey and Sinclair made small talk, Dolby held up her smartphone and stared at her wallpaper, depicting her and her two best friends. Soon, she would finally see them again.

Chatzy Madness Volume 271: Rainbow Dash Edition

Dong Dong Never Del: Stephnu is vomit-inducingly cute
Dong Dong Never Del: And there is no defense
SteelKomodo: ALL ACCORDING TO PLAN :U

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RubyChao: okay jackal
RubyChao: moment of truth time
RubyChao: have you changed at all
RubyChao rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 20
RubyChao: apparently, yes!
Gooper Blooper: woah now
Draco: It's not Jackal; it's Ricard in disguise!

(later)

RubyChao rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 18
RubyChao: woah jackal
RubyChao: twice in a row!?
Draco: This is the beginning of Jackal's full-time return to RP. ​Jackal rolls ten straight 1s when he does.

(later)

RubyChao: okay jackal
RubyChao: how can you do on defense
RubyChao rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 16
RubyChao: this isn't the jackal i know
RubyChao: did he spend this entire year training
RubyChao: all in preparation for this day
Gooper Blooper: he got a hold of the same cameo power that made Arthur do so well in the brawl
Mob: He was watching appule's training vids
Draco: He spent two days in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber to prepare for the Cell Games Presented By Hetap.
RubyChao: i'm just going to assume that all three of those are canon
Gooper Blooper: I have another more serious one
Jumpropeman: he's on his home turf baby
Gooper Blooper: Before, Jackal usually fought because other people were fighting or because he wanted to steal stuff
Gooper Blooper: Now, he's fighting for his home
Draco: ​Now, he's fighting for Praline.
RubyChao: no, that's raspberry

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Surprise! It is a butt joined the chat
Jumpropeman: *faints from surprise*

Chatzy Madness Volume 258: Big Bar Brawl 6 Edition

MeleeChao: ​>​music meister interested in praline
MeleeChao: ​i've got a bad feel about this scoob

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M Sheep: ​Still getting over Attenborough​
Jumpropeman: ​Attenborough seemed a very Zoofights-y thing to do so I just rolled with the idea when it came to me :P
SteelKomodo: ​...is it crazy to say I wanna see him outside this?
SteelKomodo: ​like, maybe narrating stuff that happens in SRS RP?
The betting corner returns!?: ​Oh my god yes
M Sheep: ​Soar the Eagle snags a new hire to the team!​
Jumpropeman: ​"Here we see Dewnine engaging in a playful romp with Aggie. Notice how its slobber swings from its mouth every so briefly before freezing into icicles" *nature documentary music for 2 minutes as the camera watches Dewnine drool up close*​
SteelKomodo: ​hahahaha

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Gooper Blooper: ​>​Ceneric's Cuties
Gooper Blooper: ​THE GREATEST ALLIANCE SINCE ARIEL AND MOOSH
M Sheep: ​Somebody get on drawing Ceneric's Cuties in Charlie's Angels poses​

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SteelKomodo: ​"Josephine and Mika get in an impromptu wrestling match there on the ground"
SteelKomodo: ​Dirk's nose explodes with blood loud enough to startle Pit. "HOLY CRAP DIRK YOU OKAY"
Jumpropeman: first KO of the Brawl is Dirk
Jumpropeman: and it hasn't even started yet
Gooper Blooper: "Calm down, Dirky, at least wait until I cross off that bingo square!"

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MeleeChao: there's 13 feeds
MeleeChao: and in a plot twist
MeleeChao: it turns out Alan Anderson is helping to bankroll the brawl this year
MeleeChao: THE COUNCIL WAS BEHIND IT ALL ALONG
MeleeChao: ...okay that joke was a stretch, sorry
Jumpropeman: The Council storms the Brawl with a plesiosaur, a kaiju with scissors for a nose, and some Modern Dinosaurs like crocs and komodo dragons

Exposing the Esoteric

The first of my three major 2016 plots is in the books, and now that Brawl Season and the fabled trip to Ohio are over and I've gotten a chance to rest, I can share some info about the plot. I'll break it down event by event, then show off what got cut.

This plot pretty much had to happen. I determined in 2015 after Sumireko graduated from Fite Club cameo to minor character and then to regular character that she needed a plot, but my initial idea was a pretty weak one-day affair, the specifics of which I don't even really remember any more.  However, Chao wound up reminding me about the Occult Balls, the magical and bizarre macguffins everyone is after in Sumireko's source game, and it was off to the races as I set a number of balls - seven, a classic number for macguffins if you ask me - and assigned each one a different attribute.

Let's go to the event rundown...