Neo Kobbers: Behind the Scenes

And so my biggest plot yet - and quite probably my biggest plot ever - has come to a close. Tackling the nuts and bolts behind this one is going to be difficult simply due to the sheer size, but I'll give it the old college try. First, I'll review each and every one of the "official 25" Neo Kobbers, going over their creation and also including some backstory notes that give a little more depth to why each of these characters joined the Neo Kobbers (much of this material was never mentioned on the forum, and a lot of it is being made up here!). Then, I'll go over all of the events and talk about them and the cutting room scraps associated with them.

The City of Lights

Las Vegas. A metropolis of light, sound, and color, located in a seemingly bizarre location - the deserts and badlands of Nevada. Yet here life has flourished. Amongst this artificial paradise, ordinary people and extraordinary people intermingle. Casinos, hotels, malls and resorts light the city up at night, making it into a glitzy neon world different from anywhere else on the planet. And if it wasn't a crazy enough life here already, things are soon to get even wilder.

The kobbers are coming.

Are the people already here prepared?

The Neo Kobbers At Work

"GET DOWN!" screeched a giant praying mantis.

The young woman obeyed, flinging herself to the grass as the massive tail swung where her head had been moments ago. The beast the tail belonged to roared.

"Son of a bitch." A deep male voice growled. Its' owner nudged the hat atop his head to ensure it was in position, and drew his katana in a single smooth motion. "Rex needs to pick his creatures better."

The city had been quiet recently, but Rex had accidentally shook things up when one of the monsters he was grooming for this summer's tournament had gotten loose. But the Neo Kobbers were on the job - no sooner did Rex squawk out "Look for the giant eel with the huge mouth near Diamond Alley" then a group of them took off to rescue the city.

It was a fine specimen, to be sure - a gulper eel, taken from the black depths of the ocean and pumped full of Titanoboa genes along with a lungfish air sac. The resulting abomination of science was over 60 feet in length and had the jaw muscles to back up the gaping maw's size, unlike the days it spent in the abyss letting water pressure move its' mouth for it. The creature was "sponsored" by a convenience store that actually belonged to Rex himself, and made use of a certain drink-related brand name he'd acquired from one of his trademark buying sprees.

Yes, he'd named the damn thing Big Gulp.

I Open Up My Wallet, And It Is Full Of Blood

-LAS VEGAS, NEVADA-

"You do realize that defeating them head-on is impossible. At least, you'd better." said a hissing, insistent voice.

"Hmph. Do you really think so little of me?" Rex Maximilan replied as a hulking shadow quietly extended out of the darkness of the bar to hand him a fresh drink. "That's not how - thank you - this is going to work. I never operate that way, anyway. That's the domain of all of you, most of the time. But I'm going to ask that you all show some restraint."

"Restraint? I don't have time for any fuckin' restraint." said a voice corrupted with anger. "I'm here to fuck shit up, and you don't have any shit worth fuckin', I'll find my own!"

"Then you do so at your own peril." Rex said cooly. "This will not be a conventional war. This war will be fought my way. Subterfuge. Stealth. Suppression. We will not break their bodies. We will break their minds and spirits." He glanced at the angry-voiced one. "Surely even you could appreciate that kind of destruction."

"Heh. I get you, Rex." drawled a voice from the corner. "Much as I love a good pummeling... there's more than one kinda power. And us, we have all kinds here. That's what it's all about, y'know. Power. Someone's gotta lead these sheep. And we're the ones to do it."

We hold power.

The voice came from everywhere and nowhere, and nobody batted an eye at its' hollow echo or foreboding tone.

We shall find them and drive them out. They will fear us.

"My sister and I have a request." a haughty female voice spoke up. "We'd like to focus on those two succubi. They bring dishonor to the demon name, and have broken all of the-"

"You can have 'em, long as we get a hold of Silence. What got into her? I can't wait to wring an answer out of her." said the rough-edged voice of a young, strong man.

"How do you propose to do that?" the haughty woman shot back. "A lively game of charades? Ohohohoho-"

"What, we're calling dibs now?" said the man in the corner. "Can we at least wait and see which of those bozos actually shows up?"

"Hmmmmmph." a muffled voice concurred.

"Oh yes, we all have our favorites." a woman cooed. "If that ratty recluse comes back for a second round, my darlings will beat up more than just her Pokemon."

"Everyone, settle down." Rex said patiently. "You'll all get your turn at glory. For now, we wait, and we plan. If we all work together, just as they got famous for doing, and just as we have these last two years... we can win."

Rex looked around the bar. Not just any bar, either - this was none other than The Monster's Lair, a very special bar. One maybe not so different from the one that had been in Manhattan three short years ago.

He looked at the faces. Masked men - and a masked woman. The unholy sisters. The monstrous, looming, silent bartender. The two men with hate in their hearts, one wrapped in shadows and the other lost under bulky armor. The insect. The dragon tamer. He looked for a moment for someone else who had spoken earlier, but did not see them. One never could be sure where THAT one would be, even if they were speaking directly to you. And there were a few others not present right now.

"...After all," he smirked, "There's only one thing proven to defeat a kobber...

More kobbers."

It's Back

"TONIGHT ON WORLD CREATURE WARS: Tentacles meet spinning blades! Then, an aerial gunfight for dominance! And in tonight's MAIN EVENT, what happens when razor-sharp claws the size of a man meet a carapace that can resist cannon fire?!

World Creature Wars - the world's leading monster bloodsport organization!"

A brief teaser glimpse of a scorpion with a buzzsaw tail facing down a pigeon with a laser gun for a head. The crowd cheers...

-LAS VEGAS-

Life was good for Rex Maximilion. But then, wasn't it always? Deep within his shining golden tower at the heart of Las Vegas, Nevada, the billionaire CEO sank deeper into the velvet plush of his favorite easy chair and contemplated again how he came to his current position.

A niche. There had been a niche to fill.

About three years ago, Zoofights Corporation ran into financial difficulties. The reason a company begins to decline is never simple, and a huge number of factors combined to make life hard for the once-mighty bloodsport promoter. One problem was the final tournament's winner, Hardcore Prawn, who wasn't popular. But a combination of computer cunning and lots of funding from Cray Computers ensured that not only could Zoofights Corp not be rid of the lobster, but he now had a hand in many of their business decisions, as he was now part of the upper crust of the company.

Low on options and prepared to try anything, those old blueprints dug up by a janitor came to the fore. Zoofights rebranded itself. Reinvented itself. Now ZF Interstellar Contractors, they took to space with their new cruiser...

And the niche was left wide open.