GB: So our FOUR MIGHTY HEROES are now on Floor 90 of the third bonus tower
SteelKomodo: woot!
GB: You may remember that the eightieth floor of every tower has a dragon miniboss
GB: The first tower had Bahamut, the second had Ice Dragon
GB: The third tower's dragon is just called Dragon
SteelKomodo: boo-ring
GB: I'm like "Really?"
GB: He died in three turns
Toothpaste: Its name was actually Draven
SteelKomodo: XD
GB: Taking six meteors to the face is hazardous to your health
Toothpaste: It didn't die. It just let you win
GB: (thanks pit)
SteelKomodo: (woot!)
---
GB: I just realized something
GB: When Paper Mario TTYD first came out I was amazed by the Bowser sidescrolling segments
GB: I thought "they should do a whole game like this"
GB: THEY DID
SteelKomodo: IT WAS CALLED SUPER PAPER MARIO
SteelKomodo: =D
Harpy: ahahah
Harpy: yes
---
GB: Harpy
GB: http://clevermantis.blogspot.com/2012/11/dead-sarah.html dead sarah
Harpy: what
Harpy: WHAT
SteelKomodo: yes
Toothpaste: dordsoroh
GB: dad sauron
Harpy: and so we have our first ZF creepypasta
GB: we do
Harpy: that gave me the shivers
GB: haha
Harpy: then I tried to remind myself "when the fuck did I have that convo with goops"
Harpy: then I realized "oh, shit"
Harpy: "IT FEELS SO REAL"
GB: Sarah is actually starving to death in an abandoned house
GB: she is literally garfield
Harpy: D:
SteelKomodo: Dirk wakes up next to a- no, sorry, that's too easy
TheDeleter: pfft
---
GB: My town still has two presidential election campaign signs up
GB: they're both for RON PAUL
SteelKomodo: XD
GB: He didn't even win the primary, guys, give it up
GB: I'm sorry but the dream is dead
---
TheDeleter: so this is in the pre-game chat for a LoL match
TheDeleter: Idclip: have you ever met anticlockwise man
Clockwise Man: he's my evil twin
Clockwise Man: we duel 1v1 outside baron
Idclip: lore pls riot
Herringfish: RIOT PLS
Clockwise Man: there has yet to be a decisive win so far
---
GB: Widow Maker vs Lotta
GB: FITE YER MATES
SteelKomodo: XD
---
GB: I won't be able to say this too many more times:
GB: Here's what's happening in Four Heroes of Light
GB: So I got to the top of the third tower
GB: And as I had predicted, Rekoteh was there
SteelKomodo: ooh
GB: There was just one minor detail
SteelKomodo: oh?
GB: ROLAN WAS THERE TOO
GB: BROTHER-SISTER TAG TEAM
TheDeleter: oh noooo
TheDeleter: not the sibling power
SteelKomodo: D:
TheDeleter: that's unstoppable
GB: Weird thing about this game now is that the enemies are tough but the bosses aren't too bad
GB: Though that might just be because I always start off the boss fights with a cast of Lux
GB: So I managed to take down Rolan and Rekoteh
GB: but
GB: If Rolan was the boss in this tower
GB: who is in the fourth one
SteelKomodo: ...D:
GB: I searched the world map for the last tower and found it near Spelvia, Rolan's floating city
GB: It's called the Trial Tower and it has a special gimmick
GB: The first eight floors of every set of ten are tiny
GB: The ninth is THE MOST SPRAWLING MAP IN VIDEO GAME HISTORY
GB: If I wasn't running from every battle and had bad luck with the stairs the 9th floors would seriously take an hour or more
SteelKomodo: ouch D:
GB: I've been fairly lucky though, and the running means even bad luck condemns me to, at most, 20 to 30 minutes of searching
TheDeleter: i warned you about the stars goops
TheDeleter: i told you dog
GB: thosestairs.swf
GB: But yeah I'm on Floor 80
GB: Blazed through this tower
GB: The dragon this time was DARK DRAGON
GB: Instead of fire breath he has darth breath
GB: *dark breath, but eh, same difference
TheDeleter: hahaha
SteelKomodo: DARTH DRAGON?!
SteelKomodo: OH NOES D:
TheDeleter: Darth Dragon?
TheDeleter: Yes master?
TheDeleter: RISE
GB: GIGAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNN
GB: RISE
TheDeleter: YEEESSSSSSS
Toothpaste joined the chat
TheDeleter: *buzzsaws, mothra-killing*
SteelKomodo: ey spy!
TheDeleter: yo spah
Toothpaste changed name to Gigan
Gigan rises
Gigan: Who is boss D:
TheDeleter: I'm the boss
TheDeleter: IM THE BAWSS
GB: THEN WHO WASS BOSS
GB: ...ASKED PECH
Gigan: *wass bosss
GB: Oh, almost forgot
GB: Found two weird things in Four Heroes
SteelKomodo: oh?
GB: First weird thing: I found a little house on the map I'd never been to
GB: Inside the location was listed as "???"
GB: It was a dark cave tunnel
GB: At the end of the tunnel was a guy who introduced himself as Namingway
GB: Final Fantasy 4 also had a Namingway - he could change the names of your characters, like the Pokemon Name Rater
SteelKomodo: ah
GB: But this Namingway didn't do that
TheDeleter: orly
GB: Instead he offered to change the names of... the magic I've learned
GB: So if I wanted to see the words "Sarah cast Fart" I can
SteelKomodo: XD:
SteelKomodo: =DX
SteelKomodo: and other related smileys
GB: XDX
Gigan: Change all of your spells to Dennis
Gigan: Then play a game of Dennis Roulette
SteelKomodo: DENNIS
GB: Celestia's latest creation
TheDeleter: well
TheDeleter: that's an odd thing
GB: OTHER ODD THING
GB: While scouring Spelvia for hidden items, I found a room I'd never been in before
GB: There was a book on a table, and I examined it
GB: "This is Rolan's diary. Would you like to read it?"
Gigan: DUN DUN DUN
SteelKomodo: oh boy
GB: *dramatic reverb*
TheDeleter: do it
TheDeleter: nothing can go wrong with this
GB: There was only one entry in Rolan's diary
GB: It went a bit like this
GB: "My mother and father were so happy when I was born. They believed I would be a hero, and they called me Rolan, after the great hero of history. I have to live up to my name, for their sake.But I don't know if I have the strength..."
GB: And there you have it
GB: Rolan was a dick because everyone just assumed that since he was named Rolan he could be their savior
GB: But he was just some kid named Rolan
Gigan: Wait
Gigan: . . . No, nvm
GB: So he couldn't handle it
SteelKomodo: mmhm
Gigan: For a sec I thought he wrote that as a baby
GB: THE BABBY ROLAN
SteelKomodo: SO MANY BABBIES
Gigan: THE BABBY ROLAN vs. THE MORMON JESUS
GB: The Rolan Jesus
TheDeleter: we're through the meme glass here people
SteelKomodo: Rolan Jesus is actually an accurate description of his position
GB: stop
GB: rolan time
SteelKomodo: they all thought he was gonna save the world just because of his name
SteelKomodo: but nope
GB: That's, like, Celestia throwing together a can with pipe cleaner arms and naming it Zephyrus
GB: And being shocked when it can't save the world
SteelKomodo: mmhm
SteelKomodo: :<
TheDeleter: haha
Gigan: . . . That would be hilarious
GB: "...I miss Zephyrus :<"
TheDeleter: sad times
Gigan: D:
SteelKomodo: Sadlestia :<
GB: Well Celestia certainly won't be sad tomorrow
SteelKomodo: oh?
GB: Because Thanksgiving represents two of Celestia's great loves: Family, and an excuse to cook a shitload
SteelKomodo: woot!
Gigan: Woo!
GB: Meanwhile, Sarah loves family and the excuse to eat a shitload
TheDeleter: XD
GB: And Josephine's just like (ohdear)
GB: "MOM WHY DID YOU COOK THREE TURKEYS"
GB: "That one's actually a duck."
SteelKomodo: quack
GB: "Well at least you didn't cook a whole bucket of them."
GB: (rimshot)
SteelKomodo: pfffft
---
TheDeleter: http://superdickery.com/images/stories/science/344_4_064.jpg
TheDeleter: dumbest superweapon ever
SteelKomodo: indeed
GB: http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20080311175951/godzilla/images/0/0b/Gotengo.jpg
GB: DID SOMEBODY SAY FLYING SUBMARINE?!
SteelKomodo: ...okay, i take it back
---
TheDeleter: fuck it i'm getting duels of the planeswalkers as well
TheDeleter: STOP ME SOMEONE
Saberwulf: LET THE SAVINGS FLOW THROUGH YOU
Saberwulf: TASTE THE BULK MARUCHAN THAT LIES IN YOUR FUTURE
TheDeleter: aaaarg
TheDeleter: now i have 1.49 in my steam wallet, that shit's gonna get spent on dota 2 keys
TheDeleter: or hats
Saberwulf: Gimme dat DOTA key, Del
Saberwulf: Wanna artificially inflate my library
TheDeleter: tell me david's rap name first and i will
TheDeleter: also i gave jrm a copy
Saberwulf: Chilly D, backup provided by Vanilla Chet, beatbox by That Feckin' Barmy Amazon
Saberwulf: oh fuck Zeno Clash for 1 dollar
TheDeleter: done
Saberwulf: Woooooo
TheDeleter: valve you COCKSUCKERS AUDIOSURF AT 1.49 ARGH
TheDeleter: actually i resisted that
TheDeleter: because i dunno
---
TheDeleter: sales are the addiction of gamers with poor impulse control
---
Saberwulf: I can't stop reading this entire thing in a sterotypical russian accent
Saberwulf: It's like the Heavy tried to write fanfic
SteelKomodo: ...ShakespeareHemmingway is The Heavy
SteelKomodo: IT MAKES SENSE DAMN IT
TheDeleter: hahahahahaha
Gigan: Are
Gigan: Are they base jumping into Hell
SteelKomodo: yes
SteelKomodo: yes they are
TheDeleter: "And then Sasha killed little Scout with Quickness!"
TheDeleter: "...needs work, mate."
SteelKomodo: it's obvious that SH writes the first thing that comes to his head, so that's what I did
Gigan: Garfield is OP
---
GB: I am here to remind you
GB: That something doesn't have to be ZFRP to make its taint spread into your subconscious and ruin everything
GB: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kuXeC4ESVYk
Gigan: ROLAN D:<
---
GB: Part of me just realized "but why would Mysidia celebrate American Thanksgiving"
GB: The other part of me said "just make something up"
GB: AH YES, BACK IN 1743 WHEN THE CONQUERING KNIGHTS LANDED ON CHOCOBO ROCK
GB: ON THE FOURTH THURSDAY OF NOVEMBER
GB: AND THEY GAVE THANKS FOR X-POTIONS
Gigan: pfffft
---
GB: I'd love a Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff thanksgiving comic
Gigan: Yeah, has that even updated lately?
GB: Unfortunately they never update with a holiday comic on the correct holiday
GB: No, it's been REODEO since summer
GB: I check weekly
GB: >_>
Gigan: . . . Same
GB: XD
---
Saberwulf: That's weird, an old friend of mine who happens to be a girl who I think likes me added me on Skype right after I broke up with my GF
Saberwulf: Hmmmm
TheDeleter: you think that's weird, facebook recommended me a private escort for my friend's list
TheDeleter: come on facebook
TheDeleter: why have you turned against me
Saberwulf: Facebook is a pimp
TheDeleter: i did put single in my relationship tab
TheDeleter: maybe facebook is trying to be my wingman
Saberwulf: That's kind of Facebook's job
Saberwulf: Do you know: Hot Girl From School?
TheDeleter: damn it facebook
Saberwulf: How about: Other Hot Girl From School?
Saberwulf: Facebook Don't Judge: Hot Guy From Coffee Shop?
---
Gooper Blooper: I picked up a massive sticker set for Toys for Tots
Gooper Blooper: It's a family tradition to donate toys
Gooper Blooper: kids love stickers and the set was a buck - it was a no-brainer
Saberwulf: Woo! Charity is always nice. I donated some money to teaching illiterate children and helped load stuff into trucks for Sandy victims earlier this month
Gooper Blooper: THE SEASON OF GIVING~
Gooper Blooper: I've also got a dart gun and a plastic dinosaur I picked up earlier in the year
Gooper Blooper: Oh and for Thanksgiving I donated a ten-pound bag of delicious taters
TheDeleter: goops you're the hero
TheDeleter: it's you
TheDeleter: i like giving to charity if i have the money
Gooper Blooper: If my donation meant thanksgiving potatoes for a family that didn't have any potatoes I certainly am
Gooper Blooper: Thanksgiving without potatoes is like Zoofights without battles
Gooper Blooper: Like David without ridiculous offhand references to things he did at one time
Gooper Blooper: Like Celestia without catcalls okay I'm done
TheDeleter: like, one time, League did a sale on Jax and his roman skin with the proceeds going to Make-A-Wish Foundation
TheDeleter: because they got a guy with leukemia to visit riot studios and his favourite champion was Jax
SteelKomodo: When I have, like, loads of pennies, I like to either give them to passing charity people or slip them into the McDonald's penny boxes
TheDeleter: they added an extra line to the character when he finally died, just for the roman skin
SteelKomodo: And then I feel good for a few minutes
Saberwulf: I felt the words David and Jax and had to switch back to Chatzy
Gooper Blooper: Oh yeah, one other thing I did recently that was nice
Gooper Blooper: haha
Saberwulf: Goddamn memetics
Gooper Blooper: Over the summer ConAgra Foods held this promotion
Gooper Blooper: There were codes on specially marked packages that you could enter online to donate food to hungry kids
Gooper Blooper: The codes were reusable up to five times a day
Gooper Blooper: I gave like 200 meals from one can of Chef Boyardee
Gooper Blooper: it was great
SteelKomodo: Goops what
Gooper Blooper: Yeah I bookmarked it and went back every day for two months
SteelKomodo: Are you sure you're not secretly Celestia or Zeph?
Gooper Blooper: :3
TheDeleter: he's both
TheDeleter: haven't you seen The Fly?
Gooper Blooper: Zephlestia
SteelKomodo: ...DDD:
Gooper Blooper: For the love of Elohim, DO NOT MAKE ZEPHLESTIA ANGRY
TheDeleter: celestia went too far in her quest for SCIENCE
Gooper Blooper: Mecha-Sarah: EVEN THIS UNIT IS CONFUSED.
SteelKomodo: "I WILL BE THE ONE TO DESTROY YOU! ...Right after I bake these cookies."
Gooper Blooper: Combine Celestia and Zephyrus' baking prowess
Gooper Blooper: Sadsephine
SteelKomodo: ...god damn, I'm good for nerdy references, aren't I?
SteelKomodo: :<
Gooper Blooper: nothin wrong wit nerdy
---
Gooper Blooper: IMPORTANT QUESTION: have you actually found paths in PathFinder yet
TheDeleter: we found a path
TheDeleter: it involved killing an elf noble, scalping him and setting his villa on fire
TheDeleter: i'm not sure it's a very good path
TheDeleter: (we also killed a lot of hookers whom were in that villa)
Gooper Blooper: The path of horrific violence
Gooper Blooper: they're honorary kobbers
TheDeleter: i'm loving playing as my arrogant bisexual androgynous merfolk summoner though
TheDeleter: he's such a bitch
Gooper Blooper: Maybe he'll pop up elsewhere????
TheDeleter: and his pirate captain eidolon is also awesome, he has INT 7 so he can only say "yarr"
TheDeleter: but he says it with gusto
Gooper Blooper: hooray
---
Gooper Blooper: Today I performed a little test I'm calling the "Surprise Amongst Shovelware" test
Gooper Blooper: My local pharmacy/retail store carries a small selection of vidya
Gooper Blooper: Said vidya is not exactly top quality
Gooper Blooper: I'm talking Wii games you KNOW are bad just from the box
Gooper Blooper: Like for instance this was there http://www.ign.com/games/jeep-thrills/wii-14246597
Gooper Blooper: But there was one game that looked almost good
Gooper Blooper: It was a 2D shoot-em-up starring a shark-shaped submarine
Gooper Blooper: So I mentally logged the title and Googled it when I got home
TheDeleter: hm
TheDeleter: and what did you find?
Gooper Blooper: http://www.ign.com/games/ocean-commander/wii-14271814
Gooper Blooper: nope.avi
Gooper Blooper: there will be no shovelware surprises today :<
TheDeleter: aw
---
SteelKomodo: it's a sad day when you have to go to cooltext.com for logo ideas
---
SteelKomodo: just want to get this out the way - Friendship votes aren't allowed in the Monster Mash
SteelKomodo: SyFy's giant genetically-enhanced animals aren't exactly capable of empathy or reason
Gooper Blooper: Aside from the octopus they're too dumb to comprehend an alternative to killing anyway
Saberwulf: I don't think half the competitors are even intelligent enough to know what friendship is
SteelKomodo: mmhm
Saberwulf: Hivemindddd
Gooper Blooper: triple hivemind
Saberwulf: Trivemind
Gooper Blooper: all the way across the chatzy
---
TheDeleter: oh shit
TheDeleter: oh shit oh shit oh shit
TheDeleter: the villain is one of my goddamn powerups
SteelKomodo: what D:
TheDeleter: the ventriloquist dummy
SteelKomodo: DDD:
Gigan: ???
Gooper Blooper: god dammit slappy
TheDeleter: and he's turned the statue of liberty into the sight of a ritual to summon the most powerful dark god
TheDeleter: Junior
TheDeleter: also he has us captive
SteelKomodo: DDDDD:
---
Gooper Blooper: I got some free Engrish with my copy of Magical Whip
Gooper Blooper: See, you can play as a boy or a girl
Gooper Blooper: And the boy boasts that "My magic is weak, but my strength is strong!"
TheDeleter: haha
TheDeleter: engrish!
SteelKomodo: pffffft
Gooper Blooper: If you play as the boy you get a smaller magic meter (so you can't throw around your whip as much) but he has 5 HP
Gooper Blooper: The girl's got a zillion casts but only 2 HP
Gooper Blooper: you pretty much have to play as the boy
SteelKomodo: um
SteelKomodo: yay?
TheDeleter: that's broke
TheDeleter: unless the girl is super pro mode
Gigan: One of the oldest forms of balance fail
Gigan: Mana = Health, except it isn't
---
Gooper Blooper: I'm gonna take off for tonight. See ya, guys
TheDeleter: night dude
TheDeleter: stay cool
Gooper Blooper: It's late November and I'm in Vermont
Gooper Blooper: I will have no difficulty staying cool
TheDeleter: excellent
---
Gooper Blooper: leftover turkey is the gift that keeps on giving
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