Assembly

-ZFPD BUILDING-

Donuts were the finest food to ever be invented. On this, Officer Patricia Wagon was absolutely certain. She didn't care if cops and donuts was a stereotype - they were delicious, dammit, and nothing would keep her from her daily donut. But as she finished eating her treat and washed it down with a sip of black coffee, her eyes drifted over her mug to the girl sitting across from her nibbling worriedly on a toaster pastry with one hand while scanning the Hoku Lewa Times newspaper she clutched in her other hand. The girl looked like an overwound toy, ready to snap if the slightest thing went wrong... even though so far things had been smooth sailing.

Of course, Patty suspected she knew why.

"Are you going to be ready for this?"

"AAAGH!" Denise Marmalade flung her newspaper into the air in a panic, though she miraculously didn't throw her pop-tart. "What?! Now?! OKAY!" She opened her mouth wide-

"Wait, wait, hold on-"

Denise promptly shoved the entire rest of her pop-tart into her mouth, and promptly began choking on it. Patty groaned, put down her coffee, and slipped behind her coworker for the Heimlich maneuver. Once the artificial incident was over with, Patty spun Denise around and put her hands firmly on her shoulders.

"You're too tense, Denise. You need to calm down."

"B-but the kobbers are coming! They're coming in less than ten days! Some of them are already HERE!"

"I know. And there will be incidents, and there will be trouble, and there will be stress. I get it. But you have to take it easy and not act like it's the end of the world. This happens every year! I've read all about it, Browny's told me stories, it's crazy compared to other places but here it's nothing new. So just try and take it one day at a time, alright?"

"A... a-alright. Thanks, Officer Wagon."

"Please. We're coworkers!" Patricia patted Denise on the shoulder and gave her a friendly smile. "Call me Patty."

Chatzy Madness Volume 296: I'm A Cuckster

F҉O҉R҉M҉E҉R҉V҉E҉N҉G҉E҉A҉N҉C҉E҉: Little do you suspect that Kap is Tony Kapponi, a wereform of the tiny lizard lady from when she was bitten by an enthusiastic island surfer.
Jumpropeman: Ven, you're undoing all my hard work D:

---

Jumpropeman: "Beach Cookout: I HOPE WE DON'T FIGHT VERA, PLEASE DON'T LET US FIGHT VERA
Beach Cookout: I WANT TO LOVE VERA"
Jumpropeman: I'm loving Vera
Jumpropeman: because she's so ruthless
Jumpropeman: can't survive on a diet of goofball bad guys alone
GermanChao: were the big five goofballs? :V
Jumpropeman: the penguin love was very serious
Jumpropeman: I've already explained to you mister, but I meant more the villain where the piss isn't taken out of them or they get silly at times. Even Chaos has done jokes
GermanChao: that's true
Blast Chiller: i know she's ruthless for a reason and i like her for that too but maaan
Blast Chiller: i like cool ladies
Jumpropeman: we have a significant lack of cool ladies in rp
Jumpropeman: you'll have to look elsewhere im afraid
GermanChao: i think we can afford at least one evil cool lady :V
Blast Chiller: YOU DID THIS LAST YEAR TOO
Blast Chiller: I CRY
GermanChao: no, that was an evil cute lady!
GermanChao: very different

---

Bree: hey DMG, since you are in the military and all, do you know anything about guns?
DMG: I know an awful lot about the M16
DMG: that's about it
Bree: alas
El Diablo Pollo: what about
El Diablo Pollo: THESE GUNS
El Diablo Pollo flexes
Bree: very impressive, ivel
DMG bows down to the total rippage of Ivel's guns
Jumpropeman: ivel is the Beaster Bunny
DMG: hope you know, Beaster Bunny has every one of my votes for the name alone
Bree: no >:I nibbler is gonna win the brawl!
Gooper Blooper: There's something about Beaster Bunny I need cleared up
DMG: Is CustardKittens somebody I should know?
Gooper Blooper: Is he made of chocolate, or does he just look like he's made of chocolate
El Diablo Pollo: jrm sister
Gooper Blooper: That's one of JRM's sisters
DMG: oh, cool
DMG: just wondering
Gooper Blooper: She draws art for the Brawl every year
DMG: cool
Bree: along with his other sister, RainbowDash
Bree: jrm actually has like five sisters
Jumpropeman: he is made of chocolate
El Diablo Pollo
Bree: jrm actually has like five sisters
Jumpropeman: he is made of chocolate
El Diablo Pollo: jrm confirmed made of chocolate
DMG: I KNEW IT!
Gooper Blooper: Okay, thanks for that important info
Jumpropeman: I'm sweet as sugar 🤗

Chatzy Madness Volume 293: Fate/Extra Thicc

Jumpropeman: *Faith gets a curse removed from her as a joke, Hina comes out holding a watermelon sized curse ball*
Jumpropeman: "That explains too much"

---

Banned from Crystal Kingdoms: a-also i'm sorry in advance for overhyping MGM
Banned from Crystal Kingdoms: i kinda need feedback because i'm like "what the fuck am I DOIIING"
Banned from Crystal Kingdoms: but on the bright side, I have the next two eps planned out!
Banned from Crystal Kingdoms: spoiler: Prier's in one of them
Banned from Crystal Kingdoms: BUT WHICH ONE
Bree: I hope it's the motorcycles one
Bree: because NUNS ON MOTORCYCLES YEAHHHHH
Banned from Crystal Kingdoms: ...
Banned from Crystal Kingdoms: i
Banned from Crystal Kingdoms: i actually hadn't considered that
Banned from Crystal Kingdoms: I WAS THINKING OF THE WRONG NUN
Jumpropeman: is it okay
Jumpropeman: to say that Gysel was in the background of MGM
RubyChao: NO >:(
Banned from Crystal Kingdoms: yes
Jumpropeman: you kids trying to make Gysel an actor
Jumpropeman: why would she want to act when she could... HOLD THE BOOM
Jumpropeman: she would be conflicted if asked to serve as the Best Boy (/girl)
Jumpropeman: she'd insist on being "Acceptable Girl"
Jumpropeman: which looks even stranger in the credits
Jumpropeman: Acceptable might be too much still
Jumpropeman: "Present Girl"
Gooper Blooper: I'm not expecting her to be SECRETLY A VILLAIN or anything like I joked about before but
Gooper Blooper: but there has got to be more to Gysel we'll discover later
Gooper Blooper: She's too pure, too innocent, too humble, something's going on
ivel: "Girl 1"
ivel: there you go jrm
RubyChao: what if that's the swerve
RubyChao: the untwist
Jumpropeman: come on goops, all characters are found naked on a grave to start, right?

Chatzy Madness Volume 291: Sex With An Alligator

Ho-oh Sentai Featherman: my first post
Ho-oh Sentai Featherman: is a barpost
Ho-oh Sentai Featherman: and it's a byte post
ivel: it's a barkpost
Ho-oh Sentai Featherman: FUCK
Ho-oh Sentai Featherman: that's good
Ho-oh Sentai Featherman: borkposting is the hot new trend

---

Befuddled Cartoonist: dia arrives when gino stays at the bar for longer than 2 seconds
ivel: it took him longer than 2 seconds to drink his drink :U
Befuddled Cartoonist: okay, like, a MINUTE
Befuddled Cartoonist: :I
Gooper Blooper: Now I'm imagining Gino just walking in, grabbing a drink, opening his mouth, throwing the entire contents of the glass into his open mouth in one motion, then walking away
ivel: lel
ivel: he probably would too
ivel: less effort to drink that way :U

---

Gooper Blooper: Mole Knight: Fire affinity, likes to dig
Specter Knight: Basically the grim reaper, can summon skeletons
Plague Knight: Mad scientist, potions, explosions, a lovely assistant
Treasure Knight: Anchor on a retractable chain, good swimmer, greedy
Propeller Knight: Flies, has a rapier, can call in an airship
Tinker Knight: Not much by himself but has some secret weapons he built
Polar Knight: Big grumpy dude with a snow shovel, ice affinity
King Knight: Smug.avi, struts everywhere, has a scepter, can summon horns to blow damaging confetti
Gooper Blooper: the order cliffs notes
Bree: neat
ivel: so what you're saying is Tenshi vs Treasure Knight
RubyChao: yes
Gooper Blooper: his arena is completely underwater in Shovel Knight
Gooper Blooper: this is the best idea
Draco: Still not Smuggery The Smuggening

Kuwahawi, Here We Come!

Come along and ride on a fantastic voyage...

Dolby smiled and bobbed her head, listening to her tunes as she looked carefully around her room one last time to make absolutely sure she wasn't forgetting anything important. Not only did she have three big suitcases packed with personal items, but she was using herself as suitcase number four, having shoved all the nostalgia into her body she could comfortably carry. Perusing her depleted rack of cassette tapes one more time, she opted to grab one last blank tape and cram it into her mouth to join the rest.

"Dolby, it is time to depart." Odyssey droned from behind her. He carried only a single small case of items - his arcade machines were being shipped to Kuwahawi Island separately.

"Yeah, I think I'm set." Dolby nodded, smiling at her friend and turning her music down. "I still can't believe you're coming to Kuwahawi. I really thought I'd be the only Nostalgia Elemental to follow the Kobbers."

"Las Vegas is my home, and I will miss it. And when this is over, I will enjoy being back home." Odyssey's pupils flicked back and forth, looking at the ransacked state of Dolby's room as she had taken tons of her personal belongings and packed them up. "But I believe your desire to see more of the world is not without merit, and the opportunity to introduce these natives to arcade gaming is one I do not wish to miss. It shall be a worthwhile endeavor."

"Man, this place is gonna feel empty with you two gone."

Dolby and Odyssey turned to see Zenith, Sinclair, and Noir standing in the hallway, crowded around the entrance to Dolby's room. It had been Sinclair who had spoken, and he lowered his camera-like head. "We'll miss you."

"Come back safe, all right?" Zenith said, stepping in close. "I'll keep these two in line in the meantime."

"And when you get back," Noir piped up, "we can throw ourselves a little shindig!"

Zenith chuckles. "Sounds like a plan. In the meantime, have fun. We'll make sure to keep you in mind with music and games while you're gone."

Dolby grinned and hugged Zenith. "Thanks! Don't worry - we might get scuffed up a bit-"

"Might?" Sinclair laughed. "It's the kobbers! And you even said you want to fight in that Brawl they do every summer!"

"Hah, yeah! So we WILL get scuffed up. And probably worse. But we'll come back in one piece, just you wait and see!"

Odyssey began to move to the hall. "I shall miss you all as well. When you next see me, I shall have made arcade history."

Dolby followed Odyssey, and Sinclair came after them - it was he who would drive them to the airport. And as the waving Zenith and Noir vanished in the rear-view mirror and Odyssey and Sinclair made small talk, Dolby held up her smartphone and stared at her wallpaper, depicting her and her two best friends. Soon, she would finally see them again.